This is absolute genius!
When I first began reading this, I didn't imagine what this would be about. Now that I do, I love it. It kind of makes me wish that there were more, but I know it can't happen lol!Author's Response: I'm very flattered that you like it! There could always be a sequel, where Helena perpetually beats the Bloody Baron at a game of ghost chess for all eternity. Hmm. Maybe not.
Thank you so much for reading, and I'm glad you enjoyed it. Report Review
That was great! Very well written and interesting to read.. Keep up the good work and hope to reading another one of your pieces soon.Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it. I've got loads of stories of many genres on my author's page, so I hope you find something there you like. :) Report Review
this was really great, and wonderfully written. You're very creative and a fantastic writer :) Keep up the great work!Author's Response: Thank you! What a wonderful comment. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. :) Report Review
This is beautiful. So real yet so unearthly. I can understand why it won third place. Stunning.
Willa.Author's Response: Thank you so much! And thank you for reading. :) Report Review
I dont read founders but THIS WAS AMAZING. you captured it all so well. Helena was exactly how I imagine her to be. The entire thing was so realistic and just amazing. great great great job!
P.S. This is now my top favorite story!Author's Response: Yay, thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it. :) Report Review
I love your retelling of Helena's and the Bloody Baron's story, though it makes me feel more sorry for the Baron than Helena, even though he was the murderer.
~KhanhAuthor's Response: I love that you sympathize with the Baron, even though he was the murderer. That was what I was going for, so it's good to hear. :)
Thank you for reading and reviewing this, Khanh!
:) Report Review
This is an awesome way to tell Helena's story. It really makes me hate her though grrr :@
Once again I fail to describe how beautiful your stories are, or how perfect your writing is. Why do I always have to friggin' change the rating from 5/10 to 10/10? I demand it be 10/10 by default when I review your stories *indignation*
I couldn't find a way to reply to /your/ reply on another fic so [is there a way? I'm a noob here]. You asked how I came about your stories since I said you're the first author I've read here...well, I think you were featured, on the right, so I clicked, and yeah, there was that Hollis/Fred fic at the top on your page and it looked so fluffy and omgcute that I just had to read it :)
Long review is long. Though I've seen longer. But I can't stay long now.
OK, enough of that [IonlysaythatbecauseI'verunoutofideastousetheword'long'insentenceswhichmakesenseafterreadingtheotherthree] *inhales*
What I really mean is, I loved this story, keep writing, 'cause you're really amazingly good! And that's an understatement ^,^Author's Response: This review fills my soul with millions of sun fuzzies. Sun fuzzies are tiny little orbs of shiny falling stars that raccoons see at night through their tiny little raccoon goggles.
Ahh, and no, there isn't a way to reply to review responses. But I had an inkling (or rather a hope) that I would see your name pop up again and then you could tell me the tale of how Toujours Padfoot was discovered. Ahh, I should have known it was the featured story. The top three featured stories on the home page won a writing competition on the forums, so that's why we're up there. :)
Thank you for reading my story and loving it and for leaving me beautiful reviews that inflate my ego. And I will never stop writing, ever, because I write every single day and it keeps me sane.
:) :) :) Report Review
This was amazing. I've read some very good stories, both online and in books, and very few have made me feel like this. This got me to the point where I genuinely hated Helena, a feeling I can assure you I have never felt for a fictional character. I felt so sorry for the Baron. This was perfect. 10/10.Author's Response: Oh wow, thank you. That is an amazing compliment, to say that you were effected strongly enough to conjure feelings of hatred. I'm very glad to hear it! I know it can be difficult to have an emotional response to a fictional character, let alone in such a short amount of time as this one-shot allowed, so I definitely do not take your words lightly.
Thank you so much. This really made my day.
:) Report Review
10/10. 11/10 if they had that. :) Love the part about the corset. This whole fanfic is really beautifully written.Author's Response: Thank you! A lot of people like the corset bit. I'm glad I added it. :)
Thank you so much for the 10/10-11/10 and saying it's beautifully written. That really makes my day. Report Review
EnchantingAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! :) :) Report Review
Wow. Unbelievable. I'm not usually the one to get into fanfictions, or actually read them, but this.. was amazing, stunning, really.Author's Response: Thank you! It was fun to challenge myself with writing Founder's Era, as it's not an era I had dabbled in before. Thank you very much for reading and sharing your kind thoughts!
:) Report Review
Awesome. Absolutley awesome. Could you review mine? Its not for this competition. Its called 'Run to where ever you can go.' Thanks xxAuthor's Response: Thank you for the review! I'll see what I can do about reviewing yours - I'm quite busy at the moment but if I get the chance, I'll have a look.
^_^ Report Review
amazing :) This is the first fanfiction i have read that is set in founders time :D amazing, i love your style of writing
-Rachel xoxoAuthor's Response: Aww, thank you! Founders fics don't get a lot of love, and I admittedly don't try my hand at them very much. Thank you for reading and reviewing. :) Report Review
Fantastic job! It was amazing and awesome.Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts! I'm glad you liked it. ^_^ Report Review
Hello ToujoursPadfoot, it's me notreallyblonde44 from the forums here to do those 8 reviews I promised you from oh say March...heh, heh. I'm pathetic and slow I know and I apologize. Hopefully these reviews will make up for it.
So, I remember you said that Helena is an ugly character, so I've very intrigued to start with her for your reviews since I've also written about her. She's certainly a very deep character given that her story last like a page or two in the books haha. Well, no more time for delays, onto the meat of the review!
'He was not a challenge, and he bored her.' -This line is superb as far as characterization goes! I must admit that I think this often about men lol.
Super nit-picky comment, but: 'And she had not been able to foresee that when she ran, he would run after her.
Traveling without a corset was unbelievably liberating.' The transition from this line to the next was not as fluid as the beginning was in jumping from time and space. I mean I guess the connection between man and corset could work, but the switch in action was slightly jarring. And like I wrote, this is a SUPER nit-picky comment that I only feel like I should comment on because everything else so far has been really fantastic! No wonder I choose you as the winner of my challenge lol.
I mean you clearly have a mastery of the English language. You write like you are from a different time period effortlessly it seems. None of the past phrases, almost Jane Austen like, are out of place. Also, you have such much detail! I LOVE DETAIL! It really sets the mood and let's us, the reader, know everything about the scenery and what the characters are doing precisely.
Ok, so instead of writing down every thought I have in response to something like I usually o in my reviews, I just read through to the ending and I must say OMG. Helena is an ugly character indeed. But an enjoyable hideous character. I loved your depiction of her; it's different, it's arrogant, she's beyond stuck up and KNOWS it and does nothing about it. Very realistic portrayal I think. Great job!
The last line intrigues me; why chains?
One last thing, one of the most interesting dynamics of this piece is the complete lack of Rowena, but not really. She is present throughout the whole piece like a plague in Helena's mind and heart. Despite Helena's best efforts to be rid of her mother, she just can't. I almost feel bad for her in this way, but in the end she truly is a spoiled and desperate for attention. I pity her.
Great read! Thanks for sharing this :)
NRBAuthor's Response: Thank you for the lovely and thorough review!
I think you're right about the transition from Helena running and not being able to foresee him running after her, to the bit about running in a corset. It's kind of jarring and lacks fluidity, so thank you for bringing that to my attention!
I very much appreciate your comparisons to Jane Austen and that period style, as Jane Austen is pretty much my idol and I was more or less going off of what I've read of her books for inspiration. So that compliment really made my day.
The line about the chains is a metaphorical thing - the Baron will be chained to her in the afterlife, unwaveringly following her behind in guilt and mourning, trying to earn her forgiveness. But it is also foreshadowing - the ghost of the Bloody Baron wears chains. :)
Thank you, once again, for taking the time to read and leave such an excellently detailed review. :) :)
I really enjoyed this! I loved seeing this side from Helena, and how their story played how in the end. Great job :)Author's Response: Aww thanks! I really appreciate you reading it and leaving me this kind feedback.
:) Report Review
That's really deep. Definately unexpected. Nice story.Author's Response: Thank you. :) I'm glad you liked it. Report Review
I absolutely loved this story. I don't usually read these kind of fanfictions, but this was amazing and I'm glad I did.Author's Response: Thank you. :) I'm glad you loved it. Report Review
This is absolutely amazing. Your language is beautiful and your characters are flawlessly flawed and real. Well done!Author's Response: thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it. Thank you for the review. :) Report Review
Awesome! Amazing! This is utterly wicked!Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it. :) Report Review
Fabulous story! I wouldn't change a single thing about it! I love how you described the character of Helena, wanting every man until he was hers and then coldly discarding him. Her life was definitely focused on the 'chase'. The end was so chilling, how she was pleased even in death to be able to exert her power over another, and her realization that he would adore her for all eternity.
"I hope you like wearing chains," literally gave me chills.
~AngieAuthor's Response: Thank you!!! I'm really pleased to hear that. I'm relieved at how well you understand what I was trying to convey, because that means that everything that was in my head translated onto the screen. Sometimes I skip certain things and it gets confusing.
I wrote Helena as a somewhat ugly character, so I'm glad that it didn't turn you off of the story!
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. :) Report Review
(Prize Review #1)
Wow. This was just wonderful. Your flow, dialogue, description, all of it beautiful. You caputred the time of the story perfectly and all the tiny factors to it (her hair, the corset) were just an added bonus. So very well done! :) --JennaAuthor's Response: Thank you, Jenna! That was very sweet. :) Report Review
Amazing. I've always wondered about this scene. I would have liked some more of the part where he kills her, it was all over so quickly, but oh well. It was still a lovely story to read.Author's Response: Thank you for your review! In the original draft, it was a bit bloodier. But it was written for the writer's duel, and I wasn't sure how much gore was TOO much, so I decided to clean it up. So the ending's a bit quick, but I think it focuses a lot more on the fact that Helena wasn't much phased by death - and that it wasn't of much importance to her.
:) Report Review
This is so very powerful, I'm having trouble thinking coherently. Absolutely excellent writing, I was captivated from start to finish. So, so glad we did the review for a review. I don't eve know what to say, this is absolutely amazing. I loved the part about her not wanting the diadem, what it did to her... and the end, the murder... and finally, "Something ugly rose inside of her at that moment; she was morbidly pleased in a way, because everyone far and wide would hear about her traumatic murder. She would be a legend in her own right, every bit as famous as her mother." - perfection. I have no choice but to favourite :OAuthor's Response: Wow, I am REALLY flattered. This review just made my week. I just...I'm trying to think of a good review response here to do you justice, but it seems that your compliments have turned my brain to mush. So all I can really say is THANK YOU. :) Report Review
I'm so sorry that I'm only now getting to my half of the review exchange. This past week was ridiculously busy, and I didn't want to rush through this. I chose this story because the banner is GORGEOUS. I am very happy to say that the story was equally gorgeous.
This is a story that has been told innumerable times, and yet, never quite like this. Helena's character was so real and tangible and ulikable. It is this last trait that makes her stand out from the other Helena's that have been written. Your Helena isn't someone to feel sympathy for. She is haughty and slight abhorable. Yet, she is so right. And I do pity her. I pity her for her skewed vision of the world and her own self worth.
The style of writing that you use here is very suitable for this time period. It is a delicate and winding description, very little narrative, and so suits the situation and the characters beautifully.
All in all, FABULOUS job. I don't often enjoy founders fics, but this was beyond lovely. It was a beautiful story.
MelissaAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for your wonderful review!
This one-shot isn't like anything I've written on HPFF before, being Founder's Era. Founder's Era isn't usually something I read, much less write. But with the Writer's Duel, as soon as I read the categories and narrowed it down to 'A Legend is Born', I couldn't get Deathly Hallows and Harry's encounter with the Grey Lady out of my head. There was something distinctly unpleasant about her. I didn't like her. So naturally, I felt compelled to enter a contest with a story about an unlikeable character. I doubt Helena will do very well against heroes such as Dumbledore or Harry, but I had so much fun writing this that I really don't care that I pretty much blasted my chances by writing about someone so...ugly. I wanted to write a story where everyone would sympathize more with the killer than with the victim, just to shine a light on how easy it can be. The Baron is no knight in shining armor and Helena is no damsel in distress, but it's a twisted kind of love story (albeit a one-sided love story) that I just HAD to write.
:) Report Review
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