232 Reviews Found

Review #1, by harry_ginny4ev Finding the Future

30th March 2014:
Your story was good but I didn't like the plot.
Hermione is muggle-born and Harry lived with
muggles for somewhat the first eleven years of his
life. They already know about this muggle stuff, so
it shouldn't be portrayed as new to them.

Author's Response: See your identical review next in line. I figured to answer just once.

Bill


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Review #2, by harry_ginny4ev Finding the Future

30th March 2014:
Your story was good but I didn't like the plot.
Hermione is muggle-born and Harry lived with
muggles for somewhat the first eleven years of his
life. They already know about this muggle stuff, so
it shouldn't be portrayed as new to them.

Author's Response: Maybe England is different but few American 11 year olds would know about Birth Certificates, Passports, banking, how to buy an airline ticket. Thanks for taking your time to review and I'm glad you found some of it good.

Bill


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Review #3, by Rosh Chapter 1: Tears of Sorrow - Tears of Joy

9th December 2013:
This is amazingly accurate. I love this book (:

Author's Response: Thank you Rush, I hope you enjoy the rest of the story.

Bill


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Review #4, by Rosh Chapter 1: Tears of Sorrow - Tears of Joy

9th December 2013:
This is amazingly accurate. I love this book (:

Author's Response: Thank you Rush, I hope you enjoy the rest of the story.

Bill


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Review #5, by Pomfrey1983 Back to School

24th November 2013:
I think this is probably my favorite story so far. Usually I get bored with reading them by now but I think your writing is more intelligent than a lot of the others. Thanks.

Author's Response: Thank you very much.

Bill


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Review #6, by dtinch Finding the Future

20th October 2013:
Great Story are you going to write another or even a sequel to this one. thanks for the good read.

Author's Response: Dtinch,

I've started another, but have a bit more to do to fix some problems with this one.

Thanks for the review, glad you enjoyed the story.

Bill


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Review #7, by Larry hotter Chapter 2: Closing the Circle

23rd September 2013:
This chapter was one big reminiscence of all the books.
Loved it to bits. Especially the last two lines. :)

Really looking forward to read on.

Author's Response: Larry,

Again, thank you.

Bill


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Review #8, by Larry Hotter Chapter 1: Tears of Sorrow - Tears of Joy

21st September 2013:
Excelent first chapter!
Looking forward to reading.

Author's Response: Thank you Larry,

I hope you will enjoy the rest of the book.

Bill


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Review #9, by Toms Pal Finding the Future

15th September 2013:
Very good story and very well written

Author's Response: Toms Pal,

Thank you very much.

Bill


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Review #10, by Mackh Finding the Future

17th July 2013:
The further along I got into this book, the more I enjoyed it.
Bringing muggle police and aurors into one group was brilliant. Great job!

Author's Response: Mackh,

Thanks, I appreciate the feedback.

Bill


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Review #11, by potterfandamon Chapter 1: Tears of Sorrow - Tears of Joy

17th July 2013:
I love the stories that pick up where the books left off. Yours is one of the best I've read. I'm only halfway through it but I can't wait to continue.

Author's Response: potterfandamon,

Thank you, I hope you enjoy the rest of the story.

Bill


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Review #12, by patronusflight14 Finding the Future

29th June 2013:
this is one of the most beautiful stories i have ever read!! you should definitley write a sequel!

Author's Response: patronusflight14,

Thank you very much. I've got some more corrections to make and four more chapters for a final edit, then I will figure out what is next.

Bill


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Review #13, by 6574 The Chinese Book

6th June 2013:
The Weasleys weren't original members of the order. The joined after Voldemort's rebirth in GoF.

Author's Response: Yes, I'll check where I need to fix this. Thank you,

Bill


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Review #14, by JDH Pirate Gold

4th June 2013:
I don't understand the part when they talk about how old Molly and Arthur were when they got Ron. You say Molly was 37, and by that Ginny understands that Molly was 18 when she had Bill. This is impossible though, because that would mean that Bill is 19 years older than Ron.

I like your story though, very nice writing.

Author's Response: JDH,

I checked dates with Harry Potter Wiki.

Molly is bon in1949, attends Hogwarts 1961 to 1968

Bill is born Nov. 29, 1970, attends Hogwarts 1982 – 1989

So, not having a canon birth day for Molly, we can assume that she is between 20 and 21 when Bill is born.

Charlie is born Dec. 12, 1972, attends Hogwarts 1984 – 1991
Percy is born Aug. 22, 1976, attends Hogwarts 1987 – 1994
Fred and George are born Apr. 1, 1978, attend Hogwarts 1989 - 1996
Ron is born March 1, 1980, attends Hogwarts 1991 – 1997 (leaves for Horcrux quest)
Ginny is born August 11, 1981, attends Hogwarts 1992 – 1999

So Ron is 10 years and 9 month younger than Bill and Molly, depending on birth date was 30 to 31 when Ron was born.

You're right, 37 is definitely wrong. I'll find this and fix it.

Bill


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Review #15, by jdante5 Shopping With Muggles

24th May 2013:
Sorry, but I just couldn't get past this chapter. Too much DETAIL...not enough substance. I don't like shopping with my wife, why in the world would I want to READ about it in 'detail'. Sorry.

Author's Response: No need to be sorry, it's fiction, people get to choose what they like. I hope you find something you enjoy at HPFF.

Bill


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Review #16, by LadySappho Finding the Future

9th May 2013:
About a quarter of the way into this book, I nearly gave it up because I found that too much was "told" and not enough was "done". I'm glad I persevered, though, because that definitely got better. A couple of things continually jarred on me, though. Firstly, the use of "mom" - I assume that the author's American but the characters are not. Most Americanisms I could just gloss over ("fall" for Autumn is another that irritated) but this was particularly bad and intrusive.
Then there were a couple of things about the Australian scenes. The description of the AFP offices included "coffee creamer", bags of ground coffee, and an "electric coffee pot". I'd be astonished if such an office had that today. It certainly wouldn't have in the late '90s. The little cups would have been marked "milk" (if they were there at all) and there'd have been a jar or tin of instant coffee, no ground stuff. Even today, most workplaces don't have real coffee available. Also, we don't have National Service and we don't induct all boys into the Australian army at any age. I'm guessing the author was thinking of Conscription during Vietnam and also of US Selective Service but we had nothing like that in the '90s and still don't today.
On the whole, though, these are just quibbles and the book was good. I was a bit concerned that there was going to be no action so the introduction of the pirates was welcome.

Author's Response: LadySappho,

Yes, there's alot of exposition. I think a professional editor would cut that back and shorten the story. Yes, I am American, and older at that. But, I thought I had all the moms changed to mums except for the last four chapters. I'll change fall to Autumn, and fix the coffee nomenclature. I read about the Vietnam era in Australia and was under the impression that conscription was used, and that part of the story is about that era, I can make that clear and cut back on the modern references.

Thanks for the helpful suggestions.

Bill


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Review #17, by Delphinapterus Back to Diagon Alley

16th April 2013:
This chapter better written but the action is getting a little slow.

Author's Response: Delphinapterus,

Thank you. I agree that the balance between the expository chapters and the plot-oriented chapters is a bit skewed. I'd guess that a professional editor would drop some of the early chapters but I enjoyed writing them and they do move Harry, Ginny, Ron and Hermione's adaptations to their new circumstances forward.

Bill


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Review #18, by Delphinapterus Shopping With Muggles

15th April 2013:
Two Bills, one chapter? Could have used a different name.

Author's Response: Delphinapterus,

Yes, agree, but kind of late to change as both appear in later chapters.

Bill


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Review #19, by Delphinapterus Chapter 3: A War Not Quite Over

15th April 2013:
Ok, but when are Harry and Ginny going to get it on?

Author's Response: Delphinapterus,

Not until much later in the story. My logic was that as essentially traumatized young people, they'd need time to settle into their desires -- sort of the some argument Molly and Arthur make in a following chapter.

Bill


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Review #20, by Delphinapterus Chapter 2: Closing the Circle

15th April 2013:
No funeral for Snape?? Interesting, but dialogue still not representative of the characters.

Author's Response: Delphinapterus,

No, no funeral for Snape, I thought he was best remembered in the characters' retrospective. But, certainly it would have fit the chapter, although I thought it was already a bit over long.

Bill


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Review #21, by Delphinapterus Chapter 1: Tears of Sorrow - Tears of Joy

15th April 2013:
Great read, a seamless continuation from the end of DH. Dialogue's a bit forced though.

Author's Response: Delphinapterus,

Thanks, dialogue is a real challenge. I think it improves as the story continues.

Bill


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Review #22, by GinnyGryffindor Welcome Aboard

27th March 2013:
Like, yay!
but at the same time, like, weird...
yay
but I can't imagine them calling each other dear...
james potter is the only deer...

Author's Response: GinnyGryffindor,

Thanks again. I'll have to think about "dear," "sweetheart" or "darling" seemed even less likely for their age.

Bill


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Review #23, by GinnyGryffindor A Reluctant Departure

27th March 2013:
:D massive twist... I love it.

Author's Response: GinnyGryffindor,

Thank you very much. Glad you like it! Hopefully, you'll like where the story goes from there.

Bill


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Review #24, by GinnyGryffindor Beach Day

27th March 2013:
You are the most amazing write ever. better than J.k Rowling. Better than my favourites, pygmypuff and Jewels5.
you are incredible

Author's Response: GinnyGryffindor,

Wow, thanks! But most of the hard work, the characters we love, are JKR's and I've just moved her story along. "Beach Day" was a lot of fun to write because I really like their love stories.

Thanks, the encouragement is great.

Bill


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Review #25, by mamabear Finding the Future

19th January 2013:
I absolutely love this story!!! Please write a sequel, your style is unique but you still keep JKR's flavor to it and I want to read more. I am a frustrated writer myself and am in awe of anyone brave enough to put themselves out there like this. Maybe one day I will get the courage to do so. I hope that if I do it is half as good as what you have written!

Author's Response: Thank you mamabear,

I'm glad you enjoyed the story. I have started another but could not resist one more edit of this one.

The people here have been very helpful in their reviews. I'm sure if you were to try your hand at a story here, it would be good and pleasant learning.

Bill Mullens


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