Reading Reviews for A little bit of Love
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by yoana Potion arrived!

9th June 2011:
good chapter update soon :)

Author's Response: thank you for reviewing. I am currently working on other stories, but when I got the time I will write the next chapter for this story. :)

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Review #2, by Jenna822 Potion arrived!

3rd April 2011:
Ahaha I seriously had a big giggle at the Potion mixup. I totally see how this a Rose/Scor now. I was confused when you said that because you know, it started as her liking Paul. Anyways. This is really cute and sweet. And aww I like the fact that you don't have Scorpius being the big headed one who all the girls squeal over. Gonna mark this so I know how it ends. :) --Jenna

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing. I really had fun writing this. ^^

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Review #3, by RomanticJC Potion arrived!

31st March 2011:
I'm loving this Scor/Rose story! Can't await to see what he as to say. And I love all the girls going "what happend to Paul?" and "Are you talking about Paul? He's so Hot" just because she mention he's name obessece teen girls are so funny! Please update soon!

Author's Response: Thank you for your review. I will update soon! And just a little hint: there is something about those obsessed girls. Hihi... :)

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Review #4, by huffleherbs Nothing to stop her

4th March 2011:
Some of the language is a bit clunky, for example: "Well, they did not really humiliate you in front of the whole class, did they?" Gina asked carefully.
"Yeah, but them knowing it is already bad enough."

I've bolded some bits that sound especially clunky. You might want to read the story aloud and see how easily it flows: good writing sounds aurally appealing.

I think that is a big issue in this fic actually, the dialogue sounds very forced and not what you'd expect from two teenage girls. Try to think of any teenagers you might know, or imagine how Harry and Ron banter, and hopefully that should help. It should be colloquial and chatty.

"O" would usually be written as "oh", that's minor but just a little improvement makes a lot of difference sometimes!

The plot is pretty original, and it's something that I could see a lot of teenage girls considering doing! Keep writing, and I hope that I've been some help!

Author's Response: Thank you for your review. My biggest problem might just be that my main language is not english... But I am a teenager. XD Maybe I didn't really think my characters as real teenage girls. Well, I will tryto fix some parts. Thank you

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Review #5, by Jenna822 Nothing to stop her

7th February 2011:
Hello and thank you for taking my challenge! Sorry it took so long for me to get to this; I thought I read/reviewed it already. Oops. Might I begin by saying "yay not a ScoRose". Lol. This was very cute and your follow through with the Potion and character was right on. :D --Jenna

Author's Response: Haha, thanks for the review. Well, I was actually thinking about a Rose/Scorpius, but I think I will change the plot. Hihi ^^

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