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125 Reviews Found

Review #1, by wren Frustrating Thoughts

27th March 2016:
wow, a lot of action in this story. keep going and do not let mr. malfoy off.

Author's Response: Oooh, don't worry. I won't mwaahahahaha :P
It might take a little while to do, but it'll happen.
Thank you so much for reading! And the review! Very happy.


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Review #2, by Vera Exciting Thoughts, Good News and Bad News

26th March 2016:
I stayed awake reading all the chapters. It is 3 in the morning and I have to know what happens next so write more.

Author's Response: I can't help by cheer from this :D
I loove it, I needed to know someone wanted to know what happened next. The good thing is, you won't have to wait too long, there's one in the queue and another I can submit after that :D

I've definitely binge read stories too, but I hadn't thought anyone had done that to mine yet! Thank you!


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Review #3, by Unwritten Curse Thoughts, about a week later

25th March 2016:
I read your Author's Note, and even before reading the chapter, I agree wholeheartedly. I felt the same after losing my father. He'd been very sick for a while, so after he died, I was relieved. Very, very sad, but relieved because he wasn't suffering. I imagine Harry and crew felt similarly after the war. Very sad for the losses, but relieved to finally see that glimmer of hope after a very dark and scary time.

And you wrote it beautifully. I know that I keep mentioning this, but you do a beautiful job of balancing the heavy emotion with the lighter moments that come from being around those that you love. (George's comment about Harry not being exempt from his wrath if he hurt Ginny made me laugh.)

Oh, Andromeda. I had tears in my eyes when she arrived. Her daughter has died shortly after giving birth. She must feel so conflicted--what with the joy of having a grandson mixed with the grief of losing her daughter. I've developed a soft spot for Andromeda recently. She is quite an extraordinary woman.

I also wanted to comment on your pacing. It is great in this chapter. It felt natural and flowed well. It didn't feel like you spent too much time or too little time on any one part, so well done. You're a talented writer.

--Gina

Author's Response: I'm so sorry about your father, but I'm glad that you were able to relate to it with Harry. It's the best compliment to get if a person can relate with a character with a real experience because I know the story itself is as real as possible.

It does make me proud that even when the story wasn't edited much, the comment I keep getting is the balance between heavy and light. Sometimes the heaviness is overwhelming though so, as long as it is accurately portrayed then I guess I'm doing alright.
I'm glad I did Andromeda justice for you, I was a little nervous about it since we don't know much about her, but she obviously has a huge backstory. She's pretty complicated actually.

Thank you again for such a beautiful review. I loved it!
I hope to see you again soon, you'll certainly see me on your story :)


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Review #4, by Unwritten Curse Love for thoughts

25th March 2016:
OMG HERMIONE. HAHAHA. That was perfect. (Side note: I like Ron and Hermione, but in my head canon they don't end up together. But I still think they're cute when they first start dating, so I will enjoy the moment and shut up. Anyway…) I laughed out loud when Hermione told Ginny to look away so she wouldn't see her snogging Ron. It was another nice moment to break up the heaviness of the grief that they're all experiencing.

And Luna! I adore her. I'm so glad they could be there for her--for each other.

I thought you did a good job characterizing Ron. The bit about him trying to push the thought of his losses out of his mind seemed spot on. He's definitely the type to ignore his problems until they come spilling over the top and he totally loses it. I know there will come a time when he does and I hope Hermione or Harry or someone is able to comfort him and he doesn't just push them away. Ron is such a frustrating character but I love him dearly. I just want to give him a hug.

I think I'll read one more chapter tonight, and hopefully come back soon for more.

--Gina

Author's Response: I do love this chapter too :)
Hermione and Ginny are rather funny in the beginning there!

Luna... sigh, I love her so much too, which is why we see her again in chapter 5 or so. she is such her own person and so loving too or more so after this, before she was very aloof. I think, for me anyway, she becomes more loving because of what happens.

I'm glad you like Ron, he's difficult to write at times, but then when I get in the writing mode, it comes out the way it should. You're right though, he'll ignore his problems until he can't anymore.. I haven't gotten to it yet and I'm just writing/written chapter 16! Soon though, soon... probably ch. 17. So much happens between now and then though, you'll understand why it needs to wait.

I love your reviews, it'll definitely make me r and r your story that much more! :D

Thank you so much!
-Heather


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Review #5, by Unwritten Curse Food for thought

25th March 2016:
Hi hun! I'm finally here to leave you some reviews in exchange for your help with Hourglass. :)

And I loved it! I'm not a huge fan of Harry and Ginny, but I quite like them in this chapter. I love that they're both concerned for each other and even through their grief and exhaustion they want to take care of each other. This was an emotionally heavy chapter, but you made it lighter with their romance. I also got a good laugh out of Ginny floating Harry up the stairs!

Just a small bit of constructive criticism: The beginning felt a little slow. It took me a while to really get into the story because Ginny's thoughts went on for a while and felt a bit repetitive. I understand that she's shocked and grieving, but I wonder if you could make that part more economical, especially since it's the opening and you want to grab your readers immediately. :)

But by the end of the chapter, I was smitten. The kiss was so sweet. (I also got a laugh out of Harry thinking about Ginny kissing a guy who smelled "rank." You add awesome bits of humor throughout that are so tastefully done and so needed in a chapter that follows the Final Battle.) Despite not particularly liking Harry and Ginny (I don't know why, they've just never been my favorite), I do think they're good for each other. Especially now. They can comfort each other and be strong for each other and that's a beautiful thing.

Oh, and also, your writing is really easy to read. It flow really nicely and is beautifully worded. That helped me to connect with the characters because I wasn't ever bogged down with awkward wording or anything. So kudos to you, authoress!

Well done! ;)

--Gina

Author's Response: Oh my goodness thank you for such an amazing review! It excites me to no end when I get someone reading about a ship they aren't completely into and then end up loving it :D
I've always thought it so important to include the emotional with something light, it makes for a much more well rounded chapter.
I'm glad you mentioned what you did about feeling repetitive in the beginning, I felt like something was still a little "off" but didn't know what. Some people are more of the opinion that it needed a little more grief, but if I make the part in the beginning MORE emotional, but not as long, maybe I'll hit that perfect balance?

I'm so glad you liked the flow and the wording. Bardic Magic (aka kevin) really helped me edit some things that took out all the awkward sentences... just so you know, that might come back after the 3rd chapter, since that's as far as we've gotten :P

Thank you soo much!


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Review #6, by TreacleTart Crazy thoughts

21st January 2016:
Hey Heather!

Back for another Gryffindor Review Battle Review! Go Team Red!

Wow. I'm not quite sure where exactly to start with this chapter. Since a lot happened, I think I'll try to review each POV to keep it a little bit clearer.

Hermione's POV in my opinion was the best part of this story. I thought it was really interesting to see how she perceived wizarding funerals in comparison to muggle ones. I like that she went into specifics on how it differed too because it really helped me to get a clear picture of what was going on. The grief in this felt accurate as well. The family upset, crying, and hugging seems accurate and then the moment when George set off a firework. That was brilliant.

If I'm honest, I was really thrown through a loop with the "mystery guest". I know we're meant to not expect it at all, but honestly, it felt way too out of nowhere for me. There's no hint or whispers of this coming. There's no lead up. McGonagall doesn't do much to prepare them. It's just like bam here's this lady and this kid. Personally, I think this section needs to be longer and include a bit more detail. In fact, it's such a large scenario that it could probably be it's own chapter, which would give you a lot more room to go into detail.

Ron's POV was pretty good. It seems he's about as confused as I am about the mystery guest. I like his hesitation to play with the kid and his observations about Hermione being a natural. The scene towards the end where Hermione and he are distracting the kid with playing tag was cute. I laughed when Ron has no clue what tag was. I wonder if there's a wizard equivalent. Maybe tag on brooms? My only qualm with this POV really is that Cora just barely met any of them and she's suddenly allowed her child to be taken to a far away part of the castle with two people she barely knows.

All in all, I enjoyed this chapter and am enjoying the story in general.

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Hi,
So I have to say I really appreciate how you broke down this review, it helps me understand what I'll need to do when I get to editing it. I think you're right, it needs to be longer, and when I originally wrote it I was thinking too much about chapter length when really I should have been thinking about how it makes sense.

Also, I had written my story "with sirius black" before this. I think since I knew who she was, I took it for granted and wrote this as if other people did too. So not only will I lengthen the chapter I will also encourage people to read the other story.

I'm so glad you liked Ron and Hermione. I think the reason Cora let them take care of him was because it was both, possible Sirius had to her about them and she was emotionally distraught and wasn't thinking all that clearly. She was also in a place she knew had Sirius' friends which I thought would have reassured her that her son would be ok.

I'm very happy you're enjoying the story, and thank you for the amazing reviews :)


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Review #7, by nott theodore Food for thought

19th January 2016:
Hi Heather! I'm here for Team Gold in the Red vs. Gold Review Battle!

This was a really interesting first chapter to your story. It's been a while since I really read anything in this era - when I started reading FF, I read quite a bit in this era but that's a few years ago now. Even so, I don't think I remember reading anything that's written from Ginny's perspective, in first person, so that's a really cool aspect to this story. And then the switch to Harry's perspective was interesting too. I think that, if you wanted, you could probably split the two halves into separate chapters, but the contrast here works well.

Just as a bit of CC, I know that you've had some help editing this already, but I think it might help to go through again if you get the chance. There are still a couple of typos and missing commas that I noticed; none of it has a real impact on the story, but correcting those tiny mistakes would help this feel even more polished.

I thought it was really interesting that you chose to start this where the books end after the battle. Opening the chapter right after Voldemort has just been killed gives you so much potential to try and communicate what's just happened, and I think you did a great job of portraying the grief that Ginny was feeling and the conflict over it all. It feels like it should be a time of celebration because the war that they've been fighting for so long is finally over, but at the same time she's lost her brother and other people that she was close to, and that's going to have a real impact. I liked the way that it hadn't fully hit her yet - the way that she kind of looked around the Hall vaguely to try and take in what was going on instead of focusing on her grief. The contradictions felt very real, too - the way that she was worried about having laughed with Harry even though Fred had died. Grief is so hard to deal with and I think you portrayed some of its complexities really well.

I liked the way that Ginny's way of dealing with her grief - at least temporarily - was focusing on Harry. It really showed how much they love each other, even though they've both been through so much and they've been apart for the whole year. It was really sweet that she thought of him and wanted to try and take care of him because, even though everybody wanted to speak to him at that point, she knew what he really needed.

And the parts about Dobby and Kreacher... you captured Kreacher so well, but you did break my heart a little bit when Ginny kept trying to get Dobby to help, because it reminded me that so many people wouldn't have known what he sacrificed for Harry :(

This was a really enjoyable start to the story!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Oh my goodness, thank you for such great feedback!!
there are still typos?? no... I will get them and wrangle them to the ground. The commas, unless I find them, I will leave them be because sometimes they're left out because of how that sentence was read in my head, so unless something truly stands out, they might be left behind.

I'm so glad you really got the complexity of grief I was trying to go for. Sometimes it hits you hard and others it doesn't until later when you have nothing on your mind.

Also happy you liked Kreacher, sometimes I wonder if I portray him a little too happy, but Harry really made a difference to him and that makes his whole character change a lot... My heart broke a little too when I wrote about Dobby. That wasn't planned to write either, but I realized Ginny nor anyone else who didn't know about his death would ever try calling Kreacher.

Ginny and Harry, She loves him, but she was absolutely broken by what Harry did. She manages to ignore/put it off for a while, but look out, we'll see that temper later on!
Right now though, this is what they needed.

I'm so glad you liked it after not reading this era for a while. I have to say it's my favorite even though I don't normally like angst/drama. This has just enough so I can write it and keep it interesting.

Thanks so much!


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Review #8, by StarFeather Love for thoughts

18th January 2016:
Hi, Heather I came here how you worked hard with help from Kevin(Bardic Magic) and read Kaitlin's advice as well. And ** TEAM RED for GRYFFINDOR REVIEW BATTLE!***

I'm amazed by your courage to edit this story. Not only fixing the tense, but also you took your friend's advice,for example, the scene where they were grieving lost people, it's a great thing!

My soft spot is Harry. I know this chapter you focused on Hermione and Ron but I felt happy to capture Harry between their conversation, for example, he was annoyed by their PDA in the same room when he tried to sleep or calling Kreacher and being with Ginny.

The most impressive scene is that Luna who was shocked to know what her father had done to the trio and she had many things to get over with. It's touching when I read Harry and his friends tried to support her. Reading the spot you wrote, I remembered when the trio were hunting for Horcrux and visited her empty room, the time when Harry found "Friends...friends..." with her paintings. If you want to portray about her, I recommend you to visit Pookha's story, "Friends... friends...friends...", I'm sure you'll like that story, too.

Oh, I almost forgot to add the important thing. I like Ron so I'm glad to read the spot you mentioned, "the emotional range of a teaspoon/ look around for some tissues or something." You portrayed his emotion from Ron's POV, which sounds cheerful but I could see his pathos in each funny explanation. I think it's your style!

Kenny

Author's Response: Thank you so much Kenny! I'm so glad you liked my chapter. I really try to bring out their characteristics, I think I do this best with Ron and Luna surprisingly. You'll see more Luna in later chapters if you read on. I'm glad you liked Harry though, he seems to be tricky to write with all authors 'cause he was of course written by J.K, we all want to do it justice.
I'm glad you like my style, hope to see you around again :D
Heather


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Review #9, by TreacleTart Thoughts, about a week later

15th January 2016:
Hey Heather!

Back for another review for the Gryffindor Review Battle! Go Team Red!

I definitely think that your portrayal of grief felt more realistic to me in this chapter. The moments when Ginny talks about her fears and how they affected her were really touching. I also was glad that you showed the Andromeda was struggling. I mean she lost her husband, only daughter, and son-in-law in such a short period of time that I imagine she would just be completely broken.

Sort of continuing on from that, I love how you've made Teddy the only reason Andromeda is still hanging on. I imagine that her grandson would be an integral part in her will to survive. Sometimes she might feel like giving up, but if she gives up who will be there for Teddy?

I haven't ever read a story where Andromeda gave Teddy a godmother, but if she were going to do so, I think that Ginny is a great choice for it. She and Harry are a great team and I think they'll do a lot to help Teddy grow and feel loved.

In terms of CC, I don't have a whole ton to say on this chapter. Just keep an eye on the past/present tense thing, but I know you're already aware of it.

Oh! And maybe one tiny thing. I noticed at the end Harry is talking about having kids with Ginny, but he's literally just asked her to be his girlfriend. Perhaps if this were a female POV it might make more sense to me, but I find that most 18 year old guys aren't thinking about having babies.

All in all, of the three chapters I've read, I liked this one the best so far. I thought you really did a good job of beginning to tie together everything that's happening after the war.

And I loved your author's note. You're definitely right. Grief doesn't stop life from continuing on.

Good work!

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for the review! Snicklefritz Kevin and I are editing this as we speak (write). I will definitely consider what you said about him not really thinking of having kids. I had just thought since he was holding Teddy he would think that way for the future. I'm glad you didn't have many CC's, but when I looked at it earlier I did! lol. It'll be shiny new again soon, I'll post ch. 2 soon, then this one probably next week.

Oh, and with Ginny as a Godmother, I had thought Tonks gave her that position but never had a chance to tell her, not necessarily that Andromeda came up with it.

Grief is such a delicate thing to write about, as I know you know, so I'm glad I did a good job here. I go into more later, even though grief doesn't stop life, it still lingers that's for sure.


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Review #10, by TreacleTart Love for thoughts

15th January 2016:
Hey Heather!

I'm here for the Gryffindor Red vs. Gold review battle! Go Team Red!

I read the first chapter of this story a while back and I'd meant to read more, but life sort of got away from me. Anyway, here I am and ready to review. :D

So if I remember correctly, I think you wrote about Ginny and Harry in the last chapter, so I was surprised when I saw that this one was a Hermione/Ron POV. I like that though because it gives us so many different views of the same story. Each of the four of them has a different perspective to offer and it really does a lot to make the story feel rich.

I loved seeing some of the sweet Ron/Hermione action. The two of them are just adorable together. I know that Ron/Hermione is one of the most contested cannon pairings, but I really do believe that they're the right people for each other. You managed to capture the beginning stages of love beautifully.

I also liked the little moments of Ginny giving them a hard time. It was right in line with who I believe she is. Sort of snarky and firey.

Luna's portion of the story was surprisingly sad. She goes through so much and I guess I never really gave a thought about what happened to her father. For her sake, I really hope he's okay. And I'm so so so glad that all of her friends were there for her in her time of emotional need.

Now on to the CC because you know I try to always leave just a little bit...

I remember feeling this way in the last chapter and I feel it again in this one. There's something about everyone being so immediately happy and cheerful that seems off to me. I mean I get that Hermione and Ron are thrilled to finally be with each other, but Fred has just died what one or two days ago at this point? Not to mention Tonks, Lupin, Colin, and many others. I can't imagine that there wouldn't be more blatant grief. The only exception to this statement would be Luna because she is actually would be Luna. I think you did a great job of showing her struggling to cope at the end.

All in all, I like where your heading though. I think it's great to see a happy, post-war story. I'm thrilled to see everyone finally being vocal about their feelings for each other.

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: I really appreciate this, I'm editing this chapter right now. I just don't know how to express that shock and planning things and being busy is something that people can grab onto to postpone the grief. They aren't looking at it as closely right now because I feel like, they'd been through so much over the past year, they don't have the brain cells to grieve properly or do anything other than rest mostly.

Again, this is how I see it, but it would be good to make sure I portray it better. That grief is definitely below the surface, wanting to come out, but they're all mostly trying to ignore it right now.

Thanks so much! (I didn't really know you could review more than one at a time! Thanks :) )


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Review #11, by Bardic Magic Food for thought

21st December 2015:
Hey, Heather! Just dropped by to return the favor. I read most of the other reviews and noticed you have quite a few more chapters posted, so I won't re-comment on the tense thing. I think your first person portrayal of Ginny and Harry is refreshing! I also like that you portray Ginny as tough. She's going through a lot of pain in this chapter but she has the wherewithall to recognize it and try to deal with it, at least on some level initially. I hope you expound on that more in the coming chapters. Harry's angst is also understandable...hoping Ginny feels the same way he does about their relationship. Good job! Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Aww, thanks!
Yeah, I've been trying to edit the best I can, but I think I need beta help, it's a little to much for me I think.
I'm glad you thought the first person portrayal of the two of them was refreshing. I do love writing different characters :) Also, glad you liked their characteristics, it feels like the most important thing for me when writing.
Thanks again!


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Review #12, by Gabriella Hunter Crazy thoughts

9th November 2015:
Hello!

This is Gabbie once again here for our swap and I am now caught up! I had fun with this swap too but This is Angelina doesn't have many chapters left so I'm not sure if you had wanted to continue after this. I do have other stories but I'm not sure if you'd like all of them. Hm...

So, there were big surprises! I would never have made it through this funeral scene in one piece. It's way too emotionally draining for me but you did such a good job, I do like that the first half of this chapter was from Hermione's POV. I have to wonder how different Wizard funerals are too and I think the differences that you showed here were great. It makes you really feel like you're in a different world and it was just so beautifully written too. I think you have some great imagery here, I was able to see things so clearly, especially George's fireworks but I certainly didn't expect the second half of this chapter!

I've read a few stories with Sirius having a child but they never really focus on the mother. I like that you've changed this up a bit here and I honestly liked her and could see why Sirius fell in love with her. It's a shame that she didn't know what happened to him though and it had to come as a shock, though I think that she's grateful now that she's met Harry and the others. Sirius James, eh? What on earth are they going to do when James Sirius comes around? I do wonder if they'll stay around and I hope you give more details about them. The ending to this, with all of the sadness happening was a great way to finish this chapter up. Ron's thoughts were direct and sweet but what's so funny about this is that he actually did pretty well with a three year old. You kind of get a feeling of how he'll be as a father, which just warmed me up. :)

Thanks so much for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Ok yeah, I just realized you haven't read my other short story With Sirius Black, it goes into how he met Cora and how she's connected to the magical world. I am currently looking for a beta on that though, I may need to truly focus on editing that one for my "nano project" and just get it done.
Anyway, since Sirius James will be about 10 years older, I don't think they'll have too much of a problem, and I kinda like the nickname SJ.
I loved Ron and Hermione in this, you kind of see where both of them could be pretty great parents :)
I really wanted to include Fireworks at the memorial, especially with how Fred and George left Hogwarts the last time... :(

I'd like to continue after this, I'll review any other story I might like, do you have a review thread? I think I've seen one, I could do some requests too :)

Thanks so much for the feedback and love, it gets me much more encouraged :)


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Review #13, by Gabriella Hunter Thoughts, about a week later

9th November 2015:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums here with your second review and junk! Muahahahhhahahah.

Ah, there were so many different emotions here and I was tearing up a little. It's always been kind of frustrating that we never really get to know much about what happened directly after the Battle was over so I've always really liked stories like this because they fill in the gaps. I think that you've got a really good knack for writing these emotional scenes too and the bonds that you've given Ginny and Harry are great. What I find great about these two is that they know one another so well and even though Ginny was initially angry that Harry wouldn't explain everything to her, she understood that there were just some things that were harder to explain. I am glad that Harry opened up to her though and it had to be a lot to hear but Ginny is so supportive, I think that she's great for him. They'll balance one another out well, I think and the entire bit about Harry asking her out, being so grateful for her was just so beautifully written. ;__;

Oooh, a cameo from Georgie! I want to hug him so much but at the same time, I'm laughing at how protective he is of Ginny. I wonder how everyone else will react?

Now, I've never written Andromeda before but I think that you've got her character spot on. I never really thought of her much because it just made me so sad but I loved the fact that you have her trying to be strong but getting the support that she needs. Teddy is going to be all right and that made me so relieved, especially with those last words and with that, I shall move on to the next chapter!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: :D you're making me so happy. I haven't even gotten to editing some of these chapters... actually, I think that starts at 5, it might be a little weirdly written between then and 12..
Anyway, I'm so glad you're feeling the emotions and like what I'm doing with the characters. Those 2 things are the most important to me. Yep, we see more from George later on :D
Oh Andromeda and Teddy... it's so sad, but I had to do it.
Glad you liked it again, but as you can see, I like mixing the emotions, so as much as we both love writing them, I'm in no way as angsty lol
Thanks again!


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Review #14, by Gabriella Hunter Love for thoughts

9th November 2015:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums here with another review for you! I hadn't forgotten about you, you know. I was going to stop by yesterday but I had some big girl stuff to do and it was so annoying. *Sigh*

So, this! I really like that you've decided to switch POV's here. There are so many different experiences that must have happened after the Battle was over and I like being able to get into everyone's minds. I have never written Hermione before but I like this gentler side of her that you've shown, she seems more like a real girl here than being the bossy type that we've known for so long. Her affection for Ron came through wonderfully and I love the banter between them and the romantic nature of their relationship now. It's certainly not something that I would have expected to see but I think you wrote it well, what was actually my favorite part of this was Ron's POV because we rarely see it. He's not the most emotional person but the brief glimpses that we get of his heart are greatly written and I have to say that their friendship with everyone came through very well. Luna, Ginny and the others were spot on and I'm glad that you answered the question about what happened to her father. We never really hear about that and I love the idea of the memorial too. It's too sad for me to write so you've got some courage and I can't wait to read it!

Onwards!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Ahhh!!! I love this review 'cause you really appreciate going into the minds of the other characters :)
honestly I couldn't help but write it this way because there are quite a lot of things that happen after this that need to be looked at. It isn't just about the trio and their partners, though there is a lot about them.
I'm glad you liked it! Thanks :)


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Review #15, by Gabriella Hunter Food for thought

5th November 2015:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums here with our swap and thanks so much for agreeing to read some of my stuff! I am quite happy about that! Hahahah.

So, I don't read many stories that feature Ginny as the main character and not in this setting for sure. I really like this angle of her character because we're all so used to seeing her being so strong and stubborn. It's nice to see that she's broken down a little in the first few paragraphs and is overwhelmed by grief. It makes her seem more human, people usually skimp over the messy trauma that would happen to a person after going through something like that and I appreciate that you didn't.

Ginny does have some steel about her though, I'm not sure if I would ever be able to get through it so quickly. I would probably be on my mum's shoulder for a long time but Ginny acknowledges that this isn't all about her, they were all grieving and trying to move forward wasn't going to be easy.

I also do like the fact that you've put in a bit of humor in this too. I wasn't expecting that at all and I certainly didn't think that you would write it so soon but it really works! Ginny has this wonderful, shy side to her as she thinks about her relationship with Harry. We don't really get to see that much and so I thought her entire moment of trying to make sure that he was comfortable was just really sweet.

The two of them have a nice dynamic too and they go well together. I'm not the biggest fan of this ship, personally but I like that they seem so natural here and Harry has a great sense of humor too despite everything. I want to confess my love to someone while eating sandwiches and that entire section, honestly was silly but smoothly written and their emotions came across well. :D

I'm curious to find out more about what happens to Ginny and Harry after the War is finally over so keep me posted!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hey, if you want to do a multi chapter swap that's fine by me! There is much more to their interaction than this. You'll find that both their grieving will go deeper eventually. It's such a tricky subject 'cause it really is a victory, but they lost so many people too. Plus they want to live a life where Voldemort is no longer a concern. It's so complex, I've loved writing it :) You really got me kinda psyched about it again. It may come in handy on my day off tomorrow. Plus I'm behind on my Nano-rebel-ing :)
Let me know if you want to do a multi chapter swap and I'll do a bunch on your Angelina story. Which is awesome, just haven't written the review yet.
-Heather


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Review #16, by TreacleTart Food for thought

3rd November 2015:
Hey there!

I'm here for the Gryffindor review swap.

This was a really nice point in time to focus a story on. I never really see too much written about how people are feeling directly after the war, so I really liked that choice. It gave me a chance to see what the other characters besides Harry were doing and how they were handling everything.

I enjoyed your choice of Ginny as the narrator for the first half of this. I think she is the perfect character to illustrate the bittersweetness of this victory. Here she's lost one of her brothers an several close friends. Although she's happy that Voldemort is gone, she's fighting to deal with all the tragedy it took to get there. I thought you highlighted that quite well.

I also enjoyed seeing Harry and Ginny get a few moments of happiness together at the end. Harry worried about Ginny the whole time he was on the run and I have to imagine that she worried about him as well, so it was nice to finally see them hash everything out and then fall into each other's arms.

Now a little bit of cc...

At points I did find this a little bit hard to follow and that was mainly because you have a tendency to switch tenses with in a sentence or several times in a paragraph. The tense switches make it a little harder to read because it throws off the flow a bit.

As far as characterization goes, while I did think you caught some of Ginny's conflict quite well, I did think that this was a bit overly fluffy for immediately after a war. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that Harry and Ginny are happy. I just think that that soon after there would be a bit more despair and ugly feelings...and not really the kind you can just shake off and decide not to feel.

All in all, I thought that this was a nice look at some of my favorite characters post war. Good job!

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Thank you for a very good review. I'm glad you overall liked the characterization of Ginny. Even though we didn't see much of her in the books or the movie, I always felt like she was a great character. I want to do her justice.

You will find that this isn't at all over for feelings after the war. My characterization of Ginny is that she really truly doesn't want to feel it even though it's there. She starts to shove it out of the way but, like most feelings that get ignored, it flares up.

I have a lot of trouble with keeping with the same tense... It is something I have been working on but may constantly need editing.

Thank you for the review! :)
(P.S since it was a request in the exchange, I'd love to hear your thoughts on a later chapter if it's not too much trouble. I know you're busy, so take your time if you need.)


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Review #17, by Aleine Food for thought

7th October 2015:
Hey you :D

your story is lovely. The flow is amazing. In this chapter alone, you've managed to continue the story from a different perspective and have then shifted to the original perspective (Harry). It was done very smoothly.

Your characterization was amazing. You've nailed Ginny's character. You pinpointed everything she would care about by showing the faces her she searched and the faces she saw and noticed even in her grief stricken state.

Neville would have been a hero all year though. This point in the story makes him a legend.

I love how you've made Luna and Neville seem the caring and responsible ones when everyone else was down with grief and loss. Even Harry, Ron and Hermione would back down from this moment, for a wile at least. But someone has to pick up the pieces.

Amazingly done!

I love how you've portrayed Ginny. Even though she's tough, at the end of the day she's human, and moreover, she's a girl. She has always been the kid of a big family, and now her family was falling apart. the fear, the dread and the denial were very well done indeed!

I love how you've portrayed the changes in Ginny's emotions and thought process. It was a very logical and legit chain process.

I found some errors though. Please don't get discouraged. I'm just pointing out the parts where this great story could be made perfect!

Your tense seem to switch from present to past on and off.

-My gaze found Neville and Luna who look grateful each other is ok.

This could be better phrased as; "My gaze found Neville and Luna who look grateful that each other is all right"

-They’re probably talking about what they did to fight for their lives just moments ago. Like how Neville managed to outrun the bridge exploding behind him

This could be better phrased as; "They’re probably talking about what they did to fight for their lives just moments ago; how Neville managed to outrun the bridge exploding behind him and how Luna fought with the rest of the DA"

-I just want my big brother to make me laugh like he has my whole life…

There a word missing here; "I just want my big brother to make me laugh like he has done my whole life…"

-This wasn’t supposed to happen this way! (Better if you said "It wasn't suppose to happen")

-I was starting to feel how Neville and Luna must have earlier. (and Luna must have felt earlier OR must have, earlier)

-“Mum, I’m gonna go find Harry, Ron, and Hermione,” (Better if you said "going to find")

-As I walked out of the Great Hall I realized I had never seen my mum like this, ever (I realised that*)

-As I walked out of the Great Hall I realized I had never seen my mum like this, ever. Or George or anybody come to think of it. (Punctuation and omission errors. This sentence is better of conjunctive: ever, or George or anyone else, come to think of it)

-I stopped in the middle of the corridor and bent in double as a fresh wave of grief swept over me. (and doubled up)

-But nothing will be back the way it was (Back to)

-I waited for a minute before I gave up. (before giving up)

-I took short cuts through the castle and got me to Gryffindor tower earlier than Harry. (Before Harry)

-After a lot longer of a shower than intended (After a much lengthier shower than intended)

-I accidentally bumped him into walls, caused him to swear a bit (Causing him to swear)

I'll stop right there.

Your flow, plot, characterization is spotless. But there are few errors in grammar and sentence construction. If you polish these out, your story would be perfect.

You could get a beta if you want. something I tell authors is that once you've written a story, as it is already in your head you miss the flaws when you re-read it. So it's always better to have it looked over.

If you don't like that idea, you could still edit once the reviews have kicked in!

Please do request reviews for the latter chapters as well!

Author's Response: Wow, really, thank you so much for this review. I'm glad you like the changing point of views, the plot and characterization. If it weren't for the fact I've edited this chapter a zillion times I would consider going back to fix the grammar. I have requested a beta, but have had no one respond. I might go back and request again.
I will return for more reviews, I'm so glad you liked it :)
Thank you!


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Review #18, by StarFeather Healing thoughts

24th August 2015:
#Team Gold!
Hi, Heather

The first paragraph, I was a little confused since I read the last sentences at the previous chapter, Harry got back from Gringotts. So much events are going on at the same time. You set the story Aurors were seeking for Hermione’s parents, its episode is written in detail, I’ve never done in my story, so many kudos on this.

Then oh, you spared for their snogging scene and I wonder you prefer Ron/Hermione ship to others (I should’ve asked this question at your MTA page).

A long letter from Harry, it’s new to me. From Ron’s POV is also first time for me to read. And house arrest, I’ve never thought of the idea! But I can understand how goblins want to blame the trio who caused the chaos during the war.

The scene you wrote about Harry and Ginny together, I love it. I like you put the conversation in which Harry mentioned about her hair, just my opinion, if I were you, I wouldn’t let Harry say about her hair, just keep it in his mind. The description may be done more detailed by him in his mind. You can do it because I read your beautiful description about the sea and the sky in the previous chapter.

Wow, it was interesting to read the scene where Ginny was angry at Harry showing outburst of her frustration after Harry reminded her of her nightmare. I’ve read the same kind of this episode by the other authors but it’s new. Your style is unique.
Funny, Hexing suits her very well. I agree with it. I’m going to put her hexing Harry in my story, at the last chapter of my long story (spoiler), so the idea is very understandable. I really enjoyed the last paragraphs: Sobbing Ginny into Harry’s chest, flying them back to the Burrow and the Sheppard’s pie.

Kenny

Author's Response: I will definitely be editing this chapter, because I just got super confused too :P I really appreciate you pointing that out.

I love all this ships, so I don't know which I really like more lol

Ok, so I didn't write Ginny's hair as a description because Harry just got some stuck in his mouth. I meant it to give him an opportunity to tease her.

I'm glad you liked Ginny's outburst scene, I thought that it was important for her to get it out and that Harry would be the one, out of any other person, to get it out of her.

I'll be sure to add some more description too, weaving through the trees and lying on the forest floor leaves a lot of opportunity for description.

Thanks again!


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Review #19, by StarFeather Not the usual thoughts

20th August 2015:
#Team Gold!

Hi, Heather. It is fun to review each other at the multiple chapters, isn’t it?
Okay, I jumped in this chapter, ‘cause I saw “Harry” at the summary.

I was relieved to know the letter was from Hermione, which means the serious thing wouldn’t happen to Ginny’s brother. It likely happens that Ron ended up in the messy kitchen. I smiled at the image that he was at a loss there. If Harry did cook, he would be able to handle them better. I’d like to read, if you write the same scene about him and Ginny.

The idea that Harry takes care of Teddy himself after advice from Molly is a good idea.
I let Andromeda do it in my story.

One of the impressive description here is the beautiful view of the sea and the sky. I’m fond of the detailed writing about nature. It is well written. I love it. I guess gentle time passed among Cora, Molly and Ginny. Talking about the dearest people they lost is important for them to heal each other.

Ginny got horny when Harry and Teddy were late, but I understand how severe things she had to endure in the past. But if something happened then, it would be another interesting story. (Whisper in your ear, why don't you make an entry in my Auror’s Tale story challenge?)

Anyway, he came back from Gringotts, what did he find there? I’ll be back again!

Kenny

Author's Response: ok, I can see why you used that word and got it confused lolol, it's ok, I forgive you :P

You're so sneaky, trying to make me enter you're challenge... ok yes, since you said that I sort of have a plot bunny, but still! you...

Anyway, I'm happy to hear you really liked the detail of their surroundings, that means a lot considering your stories are so focused on them :)

I like the idea that Harry is more hands on with Teddy, not full time or anything, Teddy is all Andromeda has, so I doubt she'll need too much help for a little while.

I'm so glad you like my story, and it isn't even edited yet! lol I'm sort of rereading the story for myself so I remember more of what I wanted to do, but this really helps 'cause you're giving me more ideas!
Thank you!!


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Review #20, by StarFeather Complicated Thoughts

19th August 2015:
Hi, Heather. I read through the previous chapters and came here, because.., you know, I Love Harry/Ginny ship. (sorry I repeated many times.)

I read you set the original character, Sirius's wife, is that right? Wow she had his son. It's very moving. At least he left his own son. But his name was after him and his best mate, James, which is a little confusing, Harry's middle name is James and his future first son will be James..

Okay, let's get back to this chapter. I felt the dialogues were increasing as I read through from the chapter 4 to here. Is it easy for you to write in that style? Since I've heard somewhere it's better to avoid writing many dialogues. During House Cup writing short stories battle, we were not allowed to write in dialogues in sequence. How do you think? I just want to know if it's a common sense when you write stories in English.

Overall you described their sad feeling that they lost the dearest people during the battle, sharing pain each other, you wrote about them beautifully. The saddest scene is Molly crashed a pan to the floor and ran crying.

You save us from the sad feeling by putting the scene of Trelawney, it's very comical. I like it.

My most favorite scene here is, "Harry and I sit in my room, he's reading his very worn Quidditch through the ages, and I just have my head on his shoulder when I hear it again." Please write these kind of scenes more. I love it. :)

Tha last part is very intriguing. What will happen to Ginny's brother?

Kenny

Author's Response: Ok, at first I got very confused and thought you reviewed chapter 4 lol. I've been editing and had just gotten there so I definitely see what you mean about the dialogue! I can't believe I was doing that... Well, I'm older and wiser and editing lol. But still, thank you so much for catching that, I don't know, I didn't realize I was doing it. None of the other reviews mentioned it so I thought it was fine, but rereading it now... jeez. lol.
I'm so glad you're enjoying the emotions I've tried conveying, it really is the most important part in writing that I've found.

You'll have to wait to find out! :) I didn't know how fun it was to do cliff hangers until I made one lol.
Thanks for the awesome review!


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Review #21, by StarFeather Thoughts, about a week later

17th August 2015:
Hi, Heather! I came back again. I read the second chapter, where I was very impressed by the episode of Luna and her friends and I thought of reading the next, because… I wanted to read Harry’s and Ginny’s POV. (I’m a Harry&Ginny shipper, you know.)

If J.K.Rowling adds more description about the aftermath of the battle of Hogwarts, she may not write these in detail like you, but I enjoyed them. It’s a good thing to write about the process where they get back trust each other. (:hide: I avoided writing them in my story ).

My favorite parts here are, “I awkwardly take her lead,” and “I turn towards Ginny, and my heart nearly stops ‘cause she seems to glow with happiness. I concentrate breathing for a minute, the difference between talking about grief, and happiness of a new life is a bit much to take in.” Please let me explain. The first phrase you wrote described Harry’s characteristic very well, he’s such a humble and shy person. The second ones are well written about Ginny’s inner beauty. I like them.

Kenny

Author's Response: Yay! Please feel free to read more, it's just that they are different because I tried to write in present tense, it worked, and it didn't. I think it mostly does because I focus on the characters emotions which, like you, people seemed to really like :)
I'm so glad you liked those parts! I felt like I needed to emphasize his character and how hard this time really is for them. I can't even imagine going through something like that.
P.S I like detail lol, it's one of the things I kinda missed in the HP books, glad you liked them :)

Thank you so much, glad you like it so far :)


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Review #22, by StarFeather Food for thought

14th August 2015:
# Team Gold!
Hi, Heather, I noticed your avatar at Gryffindor CR, I thought of stopping by your story.

When I started reading this chapter, I wondered who is “I”? Is she probably Ginny? I thought so because you described her with her mother from the start. And I convinced it was her who grieved for Fred. She was crying, which showed she was young, for the older we get, people hardly show tears in public.

Her feeling about Harry, it made me smile. A man often let a woman feel sad and worry, it’s stupid for a man. A man should let a woman happy.

It’s quite unique seeing the aftermath of the war through Ginny’s eyes. I enjoyed the movement of her feeling at each scene. I love their banter very much. Then you switched the view to Harry’s. I was a little bit puzzled but got used to little by little. Wow, the scene of their getting together, I love it. I’ve read the similar scenes here and there, but it’s really good. I’m a Harry/Ginny shipper, so reading the kind of stuffs never let me boring. I’ll be back to the next chapter soon.

Kenny

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for reviewing. Sorry it was a little confusing, I wanted to try and make it obvious it was her and harry without interrupting the flow saying Ginny's POV or Harry's POV. I dunno, maybe I should get over it lol.
I'm so glad you liked the way they got together, I always thought it was so cute :)
I guess I'll always be young, it's hard for me not to show my emotions. Even though Ginny rarely does, I thought it was important for her to do that here.
Yes, men seem to be stupid sometimes lol :P
I'm so glad you liked the story, I am editing so if you get past chapter 2 at any point, it will change to present tense. just so you know.
Team Red!! :P


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Review #23, by NailahM Surprising Thoughts

28th August 2013:
Good chapter! The adoption is an awesome idea. It seems like just the thing Hermione's parents would do. And it'll be perfect for her to have a little sister! Can't wait to see how this goes.

Author's Response: I'm sooo happy you like the idea :D It only seems logical that they'd at least feel the need to have a daughter since they have one, but didn't remember. The feeling must still be there.
Yes, and I'm sure Hermione will love having a sister, even though it's hard on her right now.
I'm having a little bit of a writers block about it all, but I'm slowly breaking through. I hope to get another chapter out soon.
Thanks so much for the reviews, they mean a lot :D


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Review #24, by NailahM Healing thoughts

28th August 2013:
I think you did great with this chapter. It felt pretty real. It was so good of Harry to coax that out of Ginny; he did what was necessary for her mental well-being. Good scene.

Author's Response: This was one of my most interesting chapters to write. I hadn't done much action before, and I feel like Ginny brought it to life for me. Plus Harry was probably the only one able to get that out of her, I don't think anyone else would. I love the scene, it kept things real between them.
I'm so glad you liked it too!
Thanks for the review :)


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Review #25, by Clairyfairy83 Foreign Thoughts

1st August 2013:
Excellent so far can't wait for the next chapter x also you use the word prolly sometimes... Do you probably??

Author's Response: yes, sorry, I should go back and edit that. It's a habit I use typing, but it does mean probably.

Thanks for reviewing, first for this chapter!! :D


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