Wow, it took forever for u to post but, I was having a bad day and strangely enough this cheered my up a bit then made my even sadder, but none the less I loved!

Author's Response: I know, I'm really an off on writer, and I was recently in a big off phase :( But I plan on adding to a few more of my stories soon as well. I'm glad you liked it!

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This was an interesting first chapter to this story. What I think I liked the most was the characterization of Ron and Hermione's relationship and married life. This chapter did exactly what it was meant to do. It pulled me right into the story, which is always a good sign.

The only critique I had for this chapter was that I wish I had seen more of what Ron and Hermione's normal, married life was like before they were swept off into the fairytale book, but that isn't too big of an issue since the reader may get bits and pieces of it throughout the story.

Overall an intriguing start.

eternalangelkiss
Hufflepuff

Author's Response: Thanks, I'm really glad I was able to pull you into the story (haha, like in the story). Thanks for the critique, I'll try to remember that as I keep writing the story. Again, thanks a lot!


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Loved this! Rose was so adorable at the beginning, as a four year old! Funny, but I rarely see her ever written as a little girl.. Anyway, I loved how Rose wanted to go shopping, but then luckily Harry intervened with Ginny's cookies! It was just nice to see Harry in this story! I liked Ron and Hermione going to Diagon Alley together, even if they didn't spend their time together! It was interesting to see Ron go to the Leaky Cauldron, but Hermione was right about Ron being 'reluctant' if she dragged him around to all the shopping and book stores! Ink and Pen is a nice name for a bookstore! I liked how she picked up Grimm's Fairytales and brought it for Rose! Ron's reaction was just funny, "Rapunzel? Cinderella? These sound like diseases, not fairy tales." I most liked the ending. Drags us into the action! I expect the next few chapters will be just as good as this one! Great writing so far!

- maskedmuggle, Ravenclaw :)

Author's Response: Thanks a lot! I'm really glad you liked it. I sort of got Ron's reaction to the fairytale names from the Deathly Hallows, because when he tells Harry about Wizard fairy tales, Harry mentions Cinderella I think and Ron says it sounds like a disease.

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Oooh, what's going to happen now?!

Author's Response: Weel... I could just put the entire next chapter up to answer that question... but I'm ending the fairytale next chapter and. you'll have to read to find out. Suspenseful, no? :)

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That's a really cool, original idea!
Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Thanks a lot! Its amazing what's actually inside my head (other than math and other school stuff)

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It's great that you have already two chapers and I think this one is really good. Keep up the good work and I am looking forward for your next chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks! The next chapter is in the queue right now. I'm glad you like it :)

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I love the plot for this story! It's so original and I cannot wait to see what happens to Hermione and Ron while they're inside the book. You've seen through just this one shot chapter that you're a good writer and I can't wait to read more! Great job with description and dialogue, keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Sorry, I'm not the best at getting back to these reviews, but thanks :) I started out not very good, but I'm glad my writing has gotten progressively better. It helps a lot to be able to read other people's work and get reviews :)

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Hmm, since when should you be logged in when you want to review! Well, anyway. Great story so far. There are some grammar mistakes and typo's, but I won't judge on that. (The last sentence is a bit weird I think) Hmmm, but I do like the idea of this story. I just hope that your next chapter will be longer.

Author's Response: Sorry it took so long to respond, but once I got started, I looked up and I had pages of the fairytale itself, and hadn't even gotten to the middle of the story :O. I think it may have to be 2 or 3 chapters.

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