I really like you're story! It's different from most, and I love how James isn't too arrogant or anything like that. Some stories just exaggerate his arrogance too much and that really annoys me! You've also depicted Ron really well! Keep writing and update your story really soon!
Best of luck XX
-Shahz :) Report Review
Ta, glad someone notified how sexy Scottish accent are! Report Review
You're such a twat. I can't believe you let me do any of it. Now she’s not talking to me and she’s going out with some other guy. I hope you're happy. You've officially ruined my love life. James.
^ OH MY. If I wrote that to my Uncles they would not react as kindly as Ron did.
You're back! Yay! I never forgot about this story. I was thinking about it the other day. I think i'm going to have to give myself a little recap with what happened in the last chapters because I couldn't remember the fight, it's been too long!
Nice chapter. Can't wait for the next. :D Take your time though! Report Review
Well I started reading this because I saw the name Kayla and for me it was so exciting because this is the first time I've seen my name in a fanfiction (yes, I'm nerdy)
This is a really good story though! I really love how you've written Ron, it's the exact way J.K. Rowling wrote him.
All of your characters are extremely well written and you've done James' point of view really well, too.
All in all, fantastic story and update soon! :)
10/10 Report Review
Awww poor James! He really does keep messing things up, i hope he makes up with Em soon!Author's Response: Me too, I don't ike writing sad James :( haha Alex. :) Report Review
Great job, Alex - your dialogue is really good in this one:-)Author's Response: Thanks :D Dialogue's been one of my working on points for this story so I'm glad it's coming along! Thanks for reviewing again! :D Alex! :) Report Review
I really enjoyed this chapter - I thought you got the Quidditch just right. And it's always a pleasure to find some witty writing:-)Author's Response: Hey :) I'm glad you liked the quidditch part! I have to say, quidditch is probably one of the only sports where I know all the rules! Thank you so much for reviewing! Alex :D P.S I'm glad you think I'm witty, my sister calls it 'annoying'! Report Review
This was really funny :D
I love James and his attempts to win Em. Great story!Author's Response: Haha thanks! I'm really glad you liked it! I have a bit of a soft spot for James if I'm honest :) Thanks for reviewing! Alex :D Report Review
Oh boy this is proving to be even more interesting. I can see Ron writing his letters without Hermione reading them though, maybe he sneaks off into another room or something because I can see their advice would be opposite from eachother. This is going to be great!Author's Response: Haha, I love Hermione and Ron together and I can TOTALLY see him sneaking off somewhere because he still thinks he's right. I'm really glad you liked the chapter, hopefully I'll have another one up soon, muse allowing! :P Alex :D Report Review
Aw. That was so sad. I mean it was a great chapter but poor Em! I liked the inclusion of the magic eight ball it was really clever the response. Way to keep us guessing over here! I feel like James and Em will most likely end up together but you never know.Author's Response: The magic eight ball was just this completely random thing that came into my head and as soon as I thought about it, I knew I had to put it in there somewhere! Haha, I feel they might but then again... kidding. I'm going to keep you guessing til the end cause I'm so mean! Haha, thank you so much for reading & reviewing! Alex :D Report Review
Oh what a chapter! There was so much going on I was amused during the entire thing. I loved the ending, it was very random to me anyway and I love random things. I didn't even miss Russell and Em because Fred/Hugo/James are all comedic geniuses! Great job! (=Author's Response: Haha, I love Hugo. (Although I'm not a fan of his name!) I'm so glad you like the humour, it's always a task to write albeit a very fun task. It's so difficult to know if you're being funny or not despite how hilarious I am in real life :P I'm really glad you liked it! :D Alex. Report Review
Okay, first off I need to tell you that I love the structure you have with your chapters. The chapter names (the advice) is really great and sets the tone for the rest of the chapters. I find it hilarious...but then again my sense of humor is rather...odd at best of times! :P
The characters are great, and I totally believe them. As in my previous review, just watch that your characters don't become the typical character types. add flaws and imperfections to them.Author's Response: Hello again! Haha, it's okay I tend to have a strange sense of humour too! I'm really glad the characters are believable as people, I've been working a lot on my characterisation so I'm happy it's coming across! Thank you so much for taking the time to help out! I really appreciate it! Alex :D Report Review
Hey! Kirstenalanna from the forums with your requested review!
I think it's really adorable thus far!! I'm interested to se where you take it.
I like the characterizations you have going so far. I'd just advise that you watch for the cliche characters. (best friend in love, said best friend who is really sweet and has no flaws, guys friends who hit on said best friend and are over all players)
the flow is really good- especially in the dialogue.
Cheers!Author's Response: Hi thank you so much for taking the time to review! I will definitely try and work some more flaws into the characters as the chapters progress. I know the plot's cliche so I'l do my best to make sure the characters aren't! :P Thanks again, Alex! :D Report Review
Hi there! It's me off the forums with your review :)
I think you have a really great plotline here so far! The fact that Em (at least seems) so oblivious to everything James does is really funny, and Uncle Ron's advice is definitely not the best at times; I loved how you had Hermione's letter in there too.
I love how you've made James a lot more normal, and goofy as well as endearingly charming - he's steadily getting more desperate for Em, which is cute, but not really learning from his mistakes at all. However, he is really cute, when he can keep his temper - he totally isn't doing very well with that, especially at the end.
The way Em acts makes me think that maybe she knows she likes James too (love potion?), but because he's going about asking her out so stupidly, she isn't getting the message. She has developed a lot from the quiet girl who reads The Quibbler in the corner of the compartment into someone who studies and has funny lists with James if they don't tell each other something.
Em and James as a whole are really cute! But i really don't like Russell - he's always so idiotic and gittish to James/Em and (JEm, haha) and obviously can't be bothered to back off when he knows how much James likes her. But the suspicious behaviour of Alex and Russell makes me think that it's them that's been going out for a week?
I love how all through this, you've shown equal parts of their lives and not just the non-studying bits, it makes it a lot more even and funny when things do happen! The sweetest bit was when he ran so hard to find her because of the magazine article.
Overall, I think you have a really great story plot. I'm really eager to find out what happens next in James's world! Total 10/10.
~TGKAuthor's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review, I really appreciate it.
Haha, first off, I think you're the first person who doesn't like Russell which I find hilarious! I'd be so annoyed if I were James and my friend was going after the same girl. (Although Russell isn't aware of just how much James likes her but still, haha.) Unfortunately it's not Russell/Alex, but I won't tell you yet, it's a surprise! Also, longing the name combo! Lol.
I'm glad you think Em is coming across well because I've always felt like I've been struggling to get her character across the way I see it in my head and not just have her as 'the main girl' sort of character who can do no wrong, if that makes sense?.
Yeah, I really wanted to put some in-class bits because that would be my favourite part of Hogwarts, the magic! I'm so glad you like it, the plot sort of appeared in front of me when Ron gave Harry that book for his 17th. I was just thinking to myself 'pffft, who's Ron kidding, he's useless with girls' haha.
Again, thank you so much for leaving such a long review! It made me smile so yay! Alex :D Report Review
Hi! I must say, I loved this! I really intend to keep reading, and I'll keep reviewing! James is very funny, I feel like I've been in his position many times! I loved how he was so frustrated that all of a sudden his guy friends were so interested in Em, and before that she was his little secret. I think that's really how James Jr. would act, a little arrogant, popular, and a bit of a troublemaker. Good characterization for sure! I also loved any time you mentioned Uncle Ron!
Em seems like a great OC character, the fact that she has those big black glasses is absolutely awesome in my opinion because I wear glasses myself, and I know how it feels to be the girl in glasses. Please keep the glasses for her! I like how Em doesn't realize why Fred and Russell think she's so attractive, it makes her seem like a down to earth and unconceited person.
The quality of writing for this chapter was very good, all the dialogue flowed very smoothly, and I really got a strong feel for the characters personalities.
Another thing I really enjoyed was Em being a rock star's daughter; I've always wanted to learn more about the Weird Sisters. Kudos to your creativity!
All in all, this was a very entertaining and well written chapter. I will keep reading this story! Write on!Author's Response: Hi! Tanks for taking the time to review first of all! I really appreciate it. Haha, I think a lot of people have been in James' position or at least can laugh at what a state he's in!
I too am a glasses wearer! Actually at one point in my youth I had glasses and braces. Savage. Haha. Thank merlin for contact lenses. Don't worry though, Em will most definitely be keeping the glasses! I can't imagine wizards with lenses lol.
I'm really glad you liked it and think the characters are real. That was my main aim in writing the story, a bit of a challenge for myself to work on personalities etc so I'm really glad it came across well.
Thanks so much for reviewing! I'm so happy you liked it! Alex :D Report Review
Hi, Shelby here again.
I got so into this story, I sort of didn't leave a review for those other chapters except the first two. I'm sorry! But I do have to say, I laughed out loud several times as I was reading. I just love how this piece resonates with me - I've said it before, but I can't help but say it again. I can't wait until the next chapter. Excellent story and great plot!
ShelbyAuthor's Response: Hi again Shelby! (:
It's cool not leaving a review for every chapter, I do exactly the same thing! I get so caught up in a story I forget the review box is even there until the last chapter. I'm so glad it made you laugh! It lets me know I'm funny (which I knew already, not. haha). Hopefully the next chapter will be coming within the next few weeks. I'm having trouble sitting down and just writing y'know? Haha, I'm just lazy I guess.
Thanks for the review again! Alex :D Report Review
Fauxthefox from the forums with your requested review! I'm kind of swamped right now (school just began), so I'm only going to review this chapter - but feel free to return to my page and request another review if this is helpful to you!
I really like the dialogue in this story and the dynamic between the characters. It's really natural and Harry Potter-ish.
Oh, poor James, caught in the eternal dilemna. :) I love the idea, but I think you could play up his feelings (especially frustration) a bit more, just to give your readers a real idea of what he's going through. I think that one of the important things about writing is that it gives readers a chance to understand/feel things they've never had to deal with before, and you have a really great chance to do this!
You have a few grammar mistakes here and there - I would just sift through it a bit if I were you. The only other thing I have to suggest is that you take some time to describe/develop your characters a bit more, so that your readers get a good feel of who they're dealing with here.
Great story! 8/10
FauxAuthor's Response: Hi, thank you so much for taking the time to review, especially if you're busy!
Thank you, a lot of my other stories before this one were description heavy so I thought I'd best write a humour fic so I could work on my dialogue and stop it dragging on too much. And thank you for saying they sound natural, it's such a relief! Okay, frustration, I will definitely work on that! (I think the latter chapters show it more but I'll see if I can find a way to fit in in earlier in the story) Grammar mistakes, the bane of my life. I swear I am the worst at picking up on these things myself but in every other story! I always just end up reading my story lol. I'll go through them all again and see if I can pick them up haha.
Again, thanks again for reviewing! I really appreciate it! Alex :D Report Review
I laughed for a good two minutes at Ron's letter. He's just too sweet I swear. The whole George thinking Ron gives Hermione love potions is hysterical. I can't get over it. That'd be great as a sort of one-shot!
Favorite line right here:
- I looked up and dropped the stone in the potion simultaneously. And Em said I couldn't multi-task!
If I was Harry and Ginny I'd be a bit worried about...ah, James and his obvious lack of intelligence. I don't understand how the fact that Cassandra seems 'strong' is a good compliment. Oh James. I shake my head at his foolishness! I think Em has a thing for James and that's why she's talking to Kayla, for advice. Or not. I don't know. I could be wrong! I'll have to wait and see!Author's Response: Haha! I'm so glad you liked that bit! That was my favourite part to write. I'd never considered one-shoting it before, why must you throw plot bunnies at me? Lol, I don't think James lacks intelligence per say, more just the ability to filter what comes from his brain. Especially when it comes to girls! :P Hehe, mini mystery! Thank you som uch for reviewing again, your reviews make my day! :D Alex. Report Review
oh James why must you make such a mess of things! ...ADORE your story...please update soon!!!Author's Response: Haha, he's stupid that's why. All guys are when it comes to this sort of stuff lol. I'm really glad you like the story and thank you so much for reviewing! Alex :D Report Review
Oh wow. I figured there was more on the letter than what met the eye. I give Ron credit! But does James realize he's asking someone that fell in love with their best friend and took until the final battle to finally make a legit move? Poor James. This is a recipe for disaster! I loved the whole 'she thinks I'm gay' bit and the love potion will prove to be hilarious I'm sure! Excellent chapter!
- Never, ever, fall in love. It just makes you look like an idiot.
- Advice? From Uncle Ron? I'd burn it if I were you. I once asked him to help me tie my shoes when we were six. I ended up in St Mungo’s an hour later with a crushed foot.Author's Response: No, James doesn't realise this because he's an idiot too hahaha. Ron and his sneaky ways, I actually got the idea for the plot when I was reading DH and Ron gave a copy of Twelve Fail Safe Way to Charm Witches and talked about it like it was the bible. James is my loveable sap who thinks he's cool character. At least he's pretty haha. Thanks again for reviewing! I look forward to hearing what you think about the rest of the story! :D PS I'm glad you liked the banner :)
Alex :D Report Review
Wow! I can't wait to hear more from Ron. Calling his nephew an idiot? Class-y! I really enjoy your James he's a bit idiotic (like Ron) and clearly doesn't know enough about girls (like Harry AND Ron) which makes him so loveable. This is a great story! I'm surprised I never read this before!
- I'll wait until I'm seventeen before I look at girls. Focus on school. At least dad told me that was what he did and that's why he's an auror."
- She never claimed to be cool and she proved this as often as she could. I had only just figured out this was one of the reasons I was in love with her.Author's Response: Haha, yeah I always got the feeling Ron would treat his nephews as brothers/friends rather than kids. I'm so happy you think he's like Harry and Ron because there's been so many occasion where I've read fics where he has absolutely no Weasley in him! And we all know ginny wouldn't let that happen lol. Thank you so much for reviewing again and I'm glad those lines made you laugh, it's lets me pretend I'm funny haha. Alex :D Report Review
Hello! Sorry it has taken me forever to review. I've been busy and when you recommended your story to me on the forums a lifetime ago (alright maybe that's an exaggeration) I didn't have time to read it! So I apologize.
Really enjoyed the first chapter. I didn't know what to expect but the title was interesting 'Tell Her This.' I cannot wait to read what Ron has to say. I mean let's face it his advice has to be slightly hysterical. I love Ron. Anyway I like the concept of the story as well. I mean usually it's the girl that's in love with her best friend and then afterwards (once everything is said and done) the boy finally realizes that he's indeed in love with her or something. To see the switch--a slightly delusional hormonal lovestruck James? Well! I'm in! I also enjoy Em as well. She's a bit of a spit-fire and she's obviously a bit snarky, she's not perfect either (in my eyes anyway) so I really feel like she's a 'real' person. If that makes any sense whatsoever.
Oh and nice addition of the Jarvey! I shrieked a bit when I saw mention of it...I was reading Care of Magical Creatures the other day. Does that make me a bit of a nerd?Author's Response: Hi!! Apologies for taking so ong to respond, I've been super busy lately. Originally, I wasn't going to make this a humour so it's actually titled after a somewhat depressing song I heard on scrubs! Haha, I love James II, mostly because I reckon he'd be like his grandfather and anything you write could be possible, lol. I'm really, really glad you like Em, I've always been worried that people would see her as a bit too perfect y'know, but I'm glad she doesn't come across that way. I had no idea how I was going to write a girl from a guys point of view. And no, you're nota nerd. I've read care of magical creatures and quidditch through the ages almost as much as I've read the books! Thank you so much for reviewing! I'm off to read your other ones! Alex :D
OH NO! theres no more chapters! :(
I absolutely love this story the humor the characters and the plot twists oh, and ofc Rons advice!
Your writing really brings out his feelings and his stupidity,the episode with the love potion did that especially well... (my favourite chapter!)
Im so following this story really cant wait for the next chapter!
CheeringCharm HufflepuffAuthor's Response: Hi again! I'm so glad you like the story so much, it's such a nice thing to hear! And thank you so much for liking the characters, the main reason I did this was so I could work on characterisation, especially from a guy's POV so that's a massive compliment! Thanks so much for reviewing again! It made my day, I'm off to read your review for It now, you're so kind for reviewing so much! Thanks again, Alex :D Report Review
nice job james, nice job. 10/10Author's Response: Hahahaha, I'm reading that with heavy sarcasm which I'm assuming it is. Made me laugh! Thanks for commenting! :D Alex. Report Review
-monster for the review extravaganza on the forums-
Hello there. Mmkay, first off I want to say how much I love this story. I've never gotten around to reviewing it because I'm dreadfully lazy, but I'm here now!
Ricky Ravenclaw.. he is SO hard to dislike. Of course, he seems boring and stuckup like James sees him, but he's so darn nice.
And speaking of how James sees things, I want to applaud you for taking on the POV of a guy. Assuming that you (like 97% of the other authors on here) are female, it couldn't be that easy, could it? Trying to portray what's in a guy's mind; many of the Next Gen main characters are female as it's a lot easier to relate, I think.
Anyways, I do love this story! Poor clueless Em, and poor sensitive James. They're quite the pair together.
OKAY. Leaving now, before I drag this even farther.
fethre (Hufflepuff)Author's Response: Haha, I've been meaning to get some reviews done for that but I can't seem to find the time! (You should be glad of this though because I'm not in your house haha.)
Uh, I dislike Ricky Ravenclaw, obviously hehe. Let's just say from what I've been writing, you're not going to like him either, well, you might, but James certainly doesn't! Lol.
Mhmm, I'm a girl (: Although I'd be a pretty unfortunate boy if I was called Alexandra! Haha (apologies for the rambles, I think I'm on a sugar rush :P). I actually wrote it specifically for the challenge of writing from a guy's point of view without making him seem like a girl. You know what they say, write what you'd want to read!
I'm so glad you liked the story and thanks so much for reviewing it too, it makes me smile every time I read one! So cheers!
Alex :D Report Review
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