Reading Reviews for Unexpected Love
  
29 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Just a Harry Potter fan Working for... a Malfoy

20th March 2013:
Make a 7th chapter! It cannot end here!

Author's Response: It won't end here. :) I promise. The seventh chapter will be up in about a week.

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Review #2, by TRwolf88 Working for... a Malfoy

20th March 2013:
Totally amazing, my eyes were glued to the screen.

Author's Response: Aww, it's great to hear that you like it. :D I am working on the next chapter ATM.

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Review #3, by Daniela Working for... a Malfoy

19th March 2013:
Hermione is afraid of Cederic so she doesn’t go to work for five days.
Malfoy literally runs into her and tells her to be at his office for some mysterious reason the next day.
Malfoy wants Hermione to work for him. Which can’t be a bad idea right? Well Ron thinks so, any of course it is a huge reason to fight and lock Ron out of their bedroom. And of course he decides to leave their apartment in a huff.
Next day Hermione accepts the job and Malfoy smiles at her (OMG he didn’t smirk!). Hermione goes home to study the only book necessary for her to do her new job, which is like so easy for her because she is Hermione Granger and she is the smartest witch of their generation!

At her new job Pansy Parkinson gives Hermione dirty looks, but who cares. Malfoy takes away lunch hour (I think the labour board may want to hear about this!) and knows all about Ron and Hermione’s fight last night. Not to worry about these stalking warning signs, time to prove you are the smartest witch of their age Hermione! Oh and Hermione does have lunch breaks, Malfoy as just messing with here LOL!

No one is concerned that Ron has left Hermione and no one has seen him. But that is ok, the mystery is solved once Hermione goes home and Ron is there. Goody.

Author's Response: The mystery isn't completely solved. ;) But that will be revealed later on in the story. Thank you for all of your reviews!

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Review #4, by Daniela I love you

19th March 2013:
Let us begin this ‘chapter’ with some more infidelity!
Then let’s move right into the arbitrary interruption of Malfoy and his friends. And the ‘adults’ acting and speaking as if they are 15 year olds.

Then Malfoy ‘saves’ Hermione from Cederic.

Really that is all that happened….

Author's Response: Maybe the dialogue between Malfoy and Hermione was indeed a bit weird and not right. I might change it a bit in the future. Thank you for your feedback!

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Review #5, by Daniela Party time!

19th March 2013:
Your grammar sucks. “Ginny and me” should be “Ginny and I”

Let us just ignore the typical ‘relief Hermione isn’t with Ron at the moment’ look in Malfoy’s eyes. It is rather silly isn’t it?
Poor Malfoy, Astoria is such a terrible human being. At least Malfoy seems to be a nice human being now.

Ron is an idiot, blah blah blah. Ron is inconsiderate blah blah blah. Ron is irresponsible blah blah blah.

They go to an amazing restaurant, but let’s not get excited! We don’t want to get all pumped up for a description of this amazing restaurant, we will only be disappointed. Oh and let’s not learn what they will eat either. They might as well be sitting in a cupboard in the dark talking. Except Ron probably couldn’t cheat on Hermione if they were sitting knee to knee in a cupboard could he? What a dirty man to have sex with an in-law and Hermione without bathing. Ew.


Let us get back to that terrible job, and not explain anything about what it is that Hermione actually does there.

Lame party yada yada yada, Hermione is a lone in her room when dun dun dun! Cederic is there!

Author's Response: I want to remind you that English isn't my first language, but thank you for pointing that out. At the time I wrote this chapter, I hadn't really thought about the things they would eat. The focus had been on the conversations between the characters. The job Hermione had was indeed not explained very well, though I have added to the first chapter in my update that she works for the Wizengamot Administration. Thank you for this review.

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Review #6, by Daniela At work, at home and in a bookstore

19th March 2013:
Apparently Cedric Diggory is apparently alive. Interesting, especially since his death is so pivotal to the main story….

Note to self: track down the person who coined the phrase ‘dazzling smile’ and murder them.

Hermione thinks Ron is a incompetent wizard. The writer wants us to think so too, so she has him making suggestions a three year old would make. Thank you writer! It is easier for us to love Hermione after she leaves her best friend and fiancé for Draco Malfoy if Ron is a bumbling idiot! He is amazed by magical remedies to everyday problems, like expanding a closet, even though his house has clearly had many of these improvements.

Also Ron doesn’t like parties. He hardly ever wants to go to parties. Boo, Ron is boring!

Oh and Ginny is also empty headed and doesn’t like books.

Hermione bumps into someone, was apologizing but stops being a polite member of society because she realizes it is Draco Malfoy. How can she ever forgive herself for apologizing to someone that she bumped into?!

Author's Response: I know it might be weird seeing Cedric Diggory alive in this fanfic of mine. I am actually wondering myself why I did that. It might have been more logic to use an OC here or another canon. Thank you for giving your opinion about this chapter.

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Review #7, by Daniela A bit too much Malfoy

19th March 2013:
This ‘chapter’ is a lesson in clichés and the inability of the ‘writer’ to form an original thought.

Hermione and Ron go to lunch. Hermione notes that Ron is still a bottomless pit and rolls her eyes. He is just SO unsophisticated.

Draco Malfoy is also there. Hermione thinks about Malfoy who she hates, but realizes she thinks he is hot. But what a terrible thought to have!

Malfoy is there with Astoria Greengrass, but he is clearly bored by the doting witch. He must only be with her because his family pressures him into marrying only pureblooded witches.

Oh and we mustn’t forget to throw in a little bit about how Malfoy really didn’t like Pansy.

Well that was interesting…let’s just cut now to after the meal…I mean after the end of the work day… no need to develop the characters past their interactions with eachother….

Blah Blah dinner with the Weasley family… everyone loves Hermione, yada yada yada

Hermione has a dream, in her dream she is getting married to Malfoy. Oh my WHAT COULD THAT POSSIBLY MEAN?

I am actually more entertained by making these reviews than actually reading your fic.

Author's Response: It might be a bit cliché, but cliché are not always bad. There are many many great books with tons of clichés in them. This story is also something I had started a long time ago. I have noticed that not everything is worked out as good as I would have liked it now. Thank you again for reviewing.

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Review #8, by Daniela Birthday surprise

19th March 2013:
WOW this is bad. Just terrible.
There is no description of any of the scenes, not the restaurant, not the shop, not what anyone is wearing, nothing.

There is practically no conversation, and little is actually happening in any of the 'scenes'. This entire 'chapter' can be boiled down to a few sentances.

"Hermione was waiting for Ron at their usual ‘dinner’ restaurant. He is late as usual. He arrives, says he was late because he was getting her a gift. His gift is a ring and he proposes, Hermione accepts.
Hermione shows Ginny the ring. Ginny is impressed her brother was able to be romantic.
Hermione thinks Ron is immature.
Hermione hates her job.
Hermione goes to the joke shop where Ron helps his brother out. Ron is clumsy and it is typical of Ron. They go to lunch at their usual ‘lunch’ restaurant. They discuss going to a family dinner. End."

That was exactly 100 words.

Author's Response: Thank you for your review. I am aware that I have to work on my descriptions, but do note that English isn't my native language.

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Review #9, by ForeverCharmed98 Working for... a Malfoy

19th March 2013:
Plz plz plz update soon!!!

Author's Response: I am currently working on the chapter, so it will be out soon. Thanks for the review!

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Review #10, by ForeverCharmed98 Working for... a Malfoy

13th March 2013:
Hey u shouldn't have abandoned the story!!! I wanna know why he gave her the job!

Author's Response: Thank you for being so interested in this story. As you have seen, I have indeed not continued writing this story for a very long time. I am currently working on another story, but since you seem to like this story, I will promise you that, when I have finished the chapter for the Sirius/OC I am working on now, I will try and continie working on this story. :) It might take a while, but come back in a few weeks and the next chapter might be up then. I don't have much time to write at the moment because I am in the middle of a test week. :S But thanks for your review and I will definitely try to pick this story up again! :)

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Review #11, by teamstarkid97 Working for... a Malfoy

2nd April 2012:
I like the storyline so far. That said I don't think it would be the end of the world to use a contraction. People don't really say things like "I will" that often. Also, you should proof-read a little more. There are a lot of sentences that don't make sense. Keep writing!

Author's Response: Alright, thanks for the review. I'm going to proof read it and maybe I will find a beta-reader. :)

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Review #12, by Maybe Someday Working for... a Malfoy

15th March 2012:
I've started writing again, too! Don't wanna study. XD
Your English is wayyy better now. (=

Author's Response: Yay! Thank you! I am thinking abouta new story right now. Are you still working on To Bloody Your Hands? :3

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Review #13, by HuffGriffSlyRaven Working for... a Malfoy

14th March 2012:
Naughty Ron, sneaking around on your fiancé! I can't wait to find our why Draco is so aware of what goes on at Hermoine's flat! Please post a new chapter soon!

Author's Response: Thanks this great review again! :) I will try to update ASAP.

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Review #14, by HuffGriffSlyRaven I love you

14th March 2012:
sweet_lovely_girl you are bossy! ;) Much like a familiar bushy haired GriffPrincess! Cedric sounds so lame and that is a compliment. I think that if you had made him more likable I would have trouble rooting for Draco. Yay, Dramoine!

Author's Response: Haha, I don't know if that's a compliment, but if it is, thank you. ;) I love Dramiones so of course I have to make all the other people lame! ;P

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Review #15, by HuffGriffSlyRaven Party time!

13th March 2012:
Ron is a cheater! No! I ruined it for myself! :D I can't wait to find out how Hermoine finds out & what is Cedric doing in her bedroom! Very interesting twist!

Author's Response: Well, I won't say anything. But it's great to have feedback from you on every chapter! :)

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Review #16, by HuffGriffSlyRaven At work, at home and in a bookstore

13th March 2012:
You make it almost seem as if Cedric is an airhead...which I love! Right now though I really want to know why Ron is acting so strange...Cue dramatic music!

Author's Response: Haha, thank you for reviewing! Nice to hear that you like Cedric being an airhead. :P

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Review #17, by HuffGriffSlyRaven A bit too much Malfoy

13th March 2012:
I laughed at the end. So overly dramatic...perfect!

Author's Response: Thank you again! :D

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Review #18, by HuffGriffSlyRaven Birthday surprise

13th March 2012:
It was short, but sweet too! On to the next chapter! ->

Author's Response: Thank you for your sweet review. :)

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Review #19, by v A bit too much Malfoy

21st December 2010:
i not sure i can imangin draco an hermoni sorry its a great story

Author's Response: Yeah, I am not so sure myself, but I will leave this story for now and focus on my other story (Rose/Sorpius). But thanks for the review!

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Review #20, by Maybe Someday I love you

9th December 2010:
Eek. Romance, XD. No, just kidding. ;3, nice chapter, Your English is improving. [:

Author's Response: O thank you for reading and reviewing it! You really think that? Well, mostly because of you, eh? ;)

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Review #21, by katiefelton Birthday surprise

19th October 2010:
Love love love it!

-katiefelton:D

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

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Review #22, by mrs felton Party time!

18th October 2010:
Oh! Pins and needles! post super fast, i cant wait ! will there be some cederic/hermione romance? I honestly love those two together!!

Author's Response: No, I am sorry, there will not be exactly a Hermione/Cedric pairing, though I love it too, but You will see. I will put the next chapter in queue ASAP!

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Review #23, by Drayko F. Rayat Party time!

18th October 2010:
NO!!! Don't do it Hermione! Is this all? Is there going to be another chapter? There needs to be another chapter!

Author's Response: Yes, there will be very soon I hope, but I am still working on it. Thank you for reviewing!

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Review #24, by Drayko F. Rayat At work, at home and in a bookstore

18th October 2010:
I love this story, but the only thing i have about Chapter 3 is that Hermione and Ginny are witches and they decide to go Muggle shopping? And Ginny and Harry have a telephone in their house?

Author's Response: Well, I think Hermione came with the idea of taking Ginny with her to go Muggle shopping once and Hermione's parents ARE muggles, so Hermione must have gone Muggle shopping a few times before Hogwarts. And they are girls, they love to shop!
Same with Harry, he knew how to use a phone, so why not have one? He could have taught Ginny to use it...


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Review #25, by Maybe Someday Birthday surprise

13th October 2010:
Since you left me a long review, I'll leave you a long one, with a few improvements you could make, m'kay? ;D
Before I start, though, this is AWESOME. ^_~
How DARE you say you're not awesome at writing? Teehee. ;D
So, improvements:
(First sentence of the chapter) -
I was waiting in that fancy restaurant where Ron always took me to. I looked once more on my watch and sighed. I was now already waiting 15 minutes and I have already drunken 2 glasses of coke, which is way too much for me. But this was just so typical Ron, always being late!
You switch from past tense to present tense. : )
Everyone does this from time to time, but I just wanted to point this out to you. ;3
'I had already been waiting for fifteen minutes, and I had already drank two glasses of Coke,' would perhaps be better. (Just change the 'have' to 'had', if you're gonna keep it in past tense, ^_~).
But, anyways, if I had to write a story in Dutch - HA. But I have to. For Dutch. Which is SO not going to go well. XD
9/10. ;D

Author's Response: Okay, thank you for this great review! I will change those things immediately! :S Do you really think it's awesome? I think your stories are way better, but thanks... Yeah, I know, I also hate Dutch, but it is my main language!!! HAHA XD.
9 out of 10! Wow, thanks.

-Xxx- sweet_lovely_girl


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