I just realized that I hadn't reviewed this chapter yet, but I did read it a bit ago. I meant to review then, but I think I just forgot to.
Your descriptions of Hannah's emotions feels both lyrical and clear in this chapter. Her sorrow is painful and isn't perfect. But the way you describe it has a certain beauty in the words.
Just in general, the mood in this chapter is very vivid. I feel like I get a very strong sense of what Hannah is feeling, from how you describe her emotions but even from what she sees in the room and what she notices.
Beyond that, this is also a big step for Hannah and Neville, in terms of their relationship. Hannah is willing to trust him, and talk to him about her father, and all her worries and guilt. That says a lot about what she feels for him. You've written them to be such an adorable couple--reading that just now, that phrasing sounds a bit shallow, but I just mean that I'm so glad that they have each other, and they both seem to help each other so much. The last, long paragraph describes this well. Much of the world may be broken, but for Hannah, two important parts are being set right, and that's making all the difference for her.
Hopefully I made some sense in this review. It's getting late here and I'm afraid I started drifting towards incoherence. But again, I just wanted to say that I really loved this chapter!Author's Response: I really wanted this chapter to hit home with the readers and I hope I managed it. I wanted her emotion and her feelings to just come off the page and to show that through the way she sees this massive room get smaller and smaller around her until she finds what she's after.
The trust is coming in, especially after it dipped a bit a few chapters back. I completely understand the 'adorable'. It's not a relationship really based on lust or a great physical attraction, it's very much built slowly up from the foundations (trust, loyalty, respect etc.). This is probably an important turning point for Hannah as a character and I want to try and bring the difference in her personality out a bit more in later chapters.
Thank you so much for taking the time to review this! I'm so glad you're still enjoying it. It means the world to me.
Thank you! Report Review
Hello! I'm so glad that you've updated this story! And this is the first review on this chapter, I think?
The interactions between Hannah and Neville are very sweet in this. It's so wonderful to see them becoming closer, even though there are so many difficulties in their lives.
The scene with the nightmare seemed very realistic. Even brave people have regrets and fears. Having Neville or anyone forget the battle so easily would be unrealistic. In this story, throughout, you've done a good job showing that people don't heal perfectly, or quickly.
The conversation at the end of the chapter is interesting as well. I know that in canon or according to JKR, Hannah ends up running a pub, so it's nice to see you setting this up here. It's also realistic, it's not something she aspires to, but it's something that she enjoys doing. I'm glad that Neville is able to notice this too.
Overall, this is another great chapter. And I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to review it sooner! I'm glad that you have more time this summer, and I'll definitely keep reviewing this until you finish it.
I can't wait for more!Author's Response: Aw, thank you! I'm so glad you're still interested in it, especially given my erratic writing of late.
It was quite important for me to show that Hannah is also a support for Neville, as well as vice versa. I realised there was little interaction in that direction so this (and the next chapter) explore that side of things a little more.
That battle, that entire year at school and those nightmares will probably stay with them for the rest of their lives and it's only been about 3 months by this point so it's very fresh. As you said, it would be unrealistic for them to have forgotten about it or to have moved on because it's unlikely to ever happen.
I'm glad you picked up on that. It's pretty much the reason she was staying at the Hog's Head and I imagine she climbs her way up the ranks and ends up owning The Leaky Cauldron (the ultimate wizarding pub, I think it's fair to say). I didn't want her to feel like she had to go to the Ministry or one of the more traditional careers that we see in fanfiction so often.
Thank you so much for reviewing! I'm so glad somebody's still reading this and that's good enough for me!
I'll try and get the next few chapters written soon.
Thanks again :D Report Review
I was glad to see that you updated, as I really enjoy this story.
This update certainly isn't awful! I thought the scene with Hannah's father was very touching. And I'm glad, for her sake, that he is alive, even if he's not doing so well.
I like your description at the beginning of the chapter. Those first few paragraphs did a great job of setting the mood. Hannah is frantic with hope and worry and you do a good job showing that mix of emotions. :)
The last lines of the chapter, too, had emotional impact. It's nice to see Hannah finally realizing how much her life has changed for the better in the past months. Acknowledging her healing really shows her progress.
Nice job, and I can't wait to read more!Author's Response: Hi!
Thank you. I'm so glad people are still interested in this. Writer's block is so hard to deal with on these longer stories and I'm not quite out of it yet but hopefully I'll be able to get another couple of chapters up in April. No promises, though.
I think she needed something happy in her life (along with everything else). Killing him off would have taken her right back into herself and I didn't want that. I want this to remain relatively short. Hopefully 20 chapters.
I really like the start too - I wrote that before I had these issues with writing that have cropped up lately and the rest I'm not too keen on. I wanted to build up the suspense a bit in the first hundred words or so.
I'm so glad you can see that she's made progress because I always worry whether that comes across. It's obvious to me, of course, but whether it is in the writing I don't know.
Thank you so much for such a lovely review! I promise to try and update soon.
Thank you! Report Review
Its good to have you back!Author's Response: Thank you so much! I hope you liked the chapter :) Report Review
heckers! my oh my cant wait to see what happens nextAuthor's Response: Thanks for the review! I think the update may be some time away but thank you for reading :) Report Review
This story is really good and really interesting. It's a very unique concept and I like it!!! I love the fact it's Hannah and Neville to... There is not enough stories about Neville and Hannah around in my opinion, that why I'm writing one myself. Anyway, of the few there is, yours is defiantly the best!!Author's Response: Thank you so much! Unique is really what I wanted and I'm so glad that people think it's original.
There really aren't enough and they're such a lovely couple (at least they are in my mind!)
I'm so glad you liked this and thank you for the review! Report Review
Brilliant :) inlove with this story!Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much. I'm glad you like it! Report Review
This was so brilliant! I absolutely loved reading more of Hannah's story, and it's brilliant how she's cleaning up the Hog's Head. I love how you've built up her and Ernie's relationship, too, so that we can feel when it's a bit off. But that cliffhanger! I'm so excited for the next chapter, it would be so lovely for Hannah to have someone :D Please update soon!Author's Response: Oh my gosh, thank you!
I'm going to find time after this mad rush of the first 2 weeks back at uni to write the next chapter and iron out the major plot flaw in this story! Hopefully I'll be able to update soon.
Thank you for the lovely review! Report Review
I just read the whole story thus far! Very good! I like the pairing! Now im upset since it just ended with what should be good news but may be bad! Post asap! Please !Author's Response: Thank you so much!
I've not written the next chapter yet and I am so, so busy at the minute so it may be a bit of a long wait for an update but I'll do my best.
I'm glad you liked it! Report Review
I've missed you. :)Author's Response: I kind of am! I felt bad for not updating but I've only got one prewritten chapter of this left so it may be some time before my next update. I just don't have time to write anymore :( Report Review
absolutely love this story!Author's Response: Aw, thank you. I'm glad you liked it. Report Review
It was nice to see an interaction between Hannah and her school friends. This scene does a great job showing how much Hannah has healed, but also what still needs to be fixed.
I found it very interesting that both Hannah and Susan had befriended Slytherins, and were both a bit anxious about saying so.
Great job with this chapter! I cannot wait to read more.Author's Response: Hi!
I'm so glad the fact that Hannah's not completely ready to face the world yet came across. I put in the Susan/Theo thing as a nod towards a dear HPFF friend of mine (need to put that in an a/n, actually, thank you for pointing it out!) A link with a Slytherin, I think, would be quite a difficult thing to talk about so the fact that they're both in the same boat - and both still have their prejudices - is really comforting for both girls.
Thank you so much! I'll try and update a bit quicker this time. Report Review
I almost wanted to scream when I saw this chapter was uploaded. I love this story and this chapter only adds to that. Thanks for giving some insight into Hannah's life and friendships that had existed before the war and the battle at Hogwarts. It was nice to see her and Susan's interaction and how easily their friendship came back to them. I think that makes the characters even more relateable.
Please keep this up there is nothing quite like a bit of Hannah and Neville as you tell it.Author's Response: Wow, really? Haha, I never quite now what to say to reactions like that but I'm so glad that you like this story. I thought it was really important to give Hannah some background, aside from the pieces we know from canon.
I'll do my best to update quickly. I think I'm starting to get back into the swing of writing it now.
Thank you for the review! Report Review
Hey awesome stuff. You're the first writer on here to grab my attention with use of detail and describing the world and the surrounds. I think the quirky humour that J.K unveils throughout her stories is the reason we all love it so much. The plot has to be almost secondary to the wonders of the wizarding world. Spells, creatures, ridiculous laughable people and the odd inanimate obect making a snide comment. Things like that and the descriptions of the surrounds are extremely important. I like the choice of characters.. Interested to see where it's going!Author's Response: Wow, thank you! That's such a huge compliment. I'm really glad you like the story and the choice of characters. They're really underwritten in fanfiction. I hope you continue to enjoy :D Report Review
I'm enjoying this story so far; I haven't seen a plot-line like this, which is definitely a good thing, and I like how you haven't made Hannah into a stereotypical Hufflepuff or made her immediately forget about her old friends as she gets swept up at the Centre.
The writing feels a little unpolished sometimes but it improves as the chapters go on, so please continue! I'm looking forward to the climax of this.Author's Response: Thank you - I'm pretty sure it's a fairly original plotline. Not sure exactly what a 'stereotypical Hufflepuff' is but I guess that's a compliment?
I'd...yeah, disagree with that. I think the writing certainly deteriorates within this story - unlike most of my others - to the point where I can't even bring myself to reread chapters 9-13. Good to know someone else's opinion though.
Thank you for the review :) I'm not sure there'll be a 'climax' as such, though, as a warning. Report Review
I have just eaten this whole thing up. I always looking for a certain fic to wet my appetite for a certain pairing, and then get disappointed, not being able to read it for lack of decent writing. Your style and quality is wonderful! I will be anxiously waiting for the next chapter!Author's Response: Thank you so much! You're far too kind. I wish I could promise a quick update but the best I can offer is that if my muse isn't back by October, I'll post the next chapter I have prewritten.
Thank you for the review ^_^ Report Review
Oh Aberforth! Glad to see Hannah progressing and moving forward. Interested to see what her visit with Susan will be like, lovely writing :)Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it :D Report Review
I'm so glad you updated again. I like this chapter, it seems to provide a nice contrast for how much Hannah's changed since the story began.
As always, I really appreciate your attention to detail and emotions. You have a gift with making the reader feel like they're in the story.
While there was no Neville in this chapter, Hannah seemed more sure of her relationship with him than before.
I'm eagerly awaiting the next installment. And good luck with the writer's block. =)Author's Response: Hiya!
I'm so glad you liked it! It does act as an echo of the first couple of chapters and to really draw attention to the difference in the character since the start.
Thank you! That's something that's said a lot. I'm not sure how I do it but I'm very happy that people comment on it.
Thank you so much! I'll try and update sooner... Report Review
Hello love, hope you're having an amazing birthday!
You deserve one, because you're one talented lady.
I'm really enjoying this, Hannah's character is so strong and I feel really attached to her.
I really loved the detail and the description. I actually liked Aberforth's character in this chapter, I liked his awkwardness and it was almost sad Hannah left while he was distracted, I would have quite liked to see him choke out a goodbye.
I'm really curio about the centre and where things are going to go from here, who else will be there...
And I really like Neville in this ^_^ I'm thinking romantically he might be more nervous, but I'm interested to see your take on it. Hehe, looking forward to the romance already, naturally.
I thought maybe Augusta's conversation with Hannah might have been a tad longer, and only a tad, but perhaps that is all part of the mystery. It's definately gripping. ♥ ♥Author's Response: Hi hi ♥
I'm really glad that you're enjoying it. As I said in my last reply, Hannah did come quite easily - I think there are probably big elements of her that are part of me too, which always helps - so to know that she's still as strong is a great comfort.
Oh, he'll see her again. He knows that. She's not going forever and she's come to care about the pub so he's pretty sure she'll be back.
Who else is there is a very good question. There are some familiar faces :)
You shall have to wait and see. There's certainly a nervouseness to him but you'll have to wait a while for the romance.
Okay, I'll go back and fix that up if I can. I think I tried to make it longer initially but then it messed up the flow and my dialogue is pretty awful so anything I can chop short, I do :P I will edit ASAP.
Thank you, my lovelyy.
xx Report Review
Happy Birthday Lovely! I offer you my humble thoughts, and though I’m not the best at thoughting, I hope they’ll do alright ;) (And yes, I did put thoughting.)
I love this already. The concept is amazing. I’ve always been so curious about this period of time… things can’t just patch together easily after a war, and this chapter built that up beautifully. There was a sense of ruin and loss – but not total hopelessness, just that everyone is struggling on. I loved this so much “Nobody stopped to chat. There wasn’t time anymore. There weren’t questions to ask, tales to tell.” It wouldn’t occur to many people that there are perhaps aspects of war that people would miss, a sense of needing each other, but you are a super-duper smart gal so, natch, you did.
And also this: “now it looked like nothing more than what it did to the Muggles who came across it by chance: a ruin.”
Your writing is so beautiful, and that was just one of my favourite bits of description.
“The occasional familiar face wandered past, people whose faces she knew from school, familiar looking robes or kind smiles of those who might have recognised her mother’s eyes set into her younger face” was another. ♥
Your characterization of Hannah is so touching, it just rings true. I really get the sense you understand her as a character, and I felt like the reader got to know her very well too. I loved the mention of Ernie at the beginning, the memories she had of her family… you get a sense of her past and present. I’ve always had a love for her character and I’m sure you must know my love of Neville/Hannah so you can’t imagine how excited I am for this.
I also loved Aberforth’s brief appearance, he was brilliantly in character.
There were two distinct happy-fistpump moments I got reading this chapter, one when Neville appeared because, IT’S NEVILLE. THIS IS A HANNAH/NEVILLE. BRING ON LE ROMANCE ♥ (Your characterization of him was also spot on, I thought.)
And the second, was:
Serving those who have loved and lost during the Second War.
All ages and circumstances welcome.
Ms Arabella Figg or Mrs Augusta Longbottom at the above address
Oh my sweet welsh cake. Nev’s gran!! Mrs Fig!!! The whole thing! Its perfect. PERFECT.
So much love for you, have a happy day and much ceasless gushing fom the rickmonster xAuthor's Response: Dear Lord, Helena, this is enormous! Thank you so much!
I've always wondered about it too and the premise of this story is my absolute favourite of all of them, mainly because despite it being a romance, there's so much more to the ending than them getting together. Struggling is a perfect term, I think. Things are piecing back together but not in the same way as before.
Hannah came so easily to me. I think someone once pointed out that even though we don't know much about her, this is how they'd imagine her to be and I think even from the few statements we have of her in canon, it's quite easy to shape a personality around her.
Aberforth ♥ I really wanted her to find an affinity with him for a couple of reasons. The first being that Aberforth and Neville had some form of friendship in DH and the second being that I wanted this to be Hannah's first foray into the world of...pubbing. She had to start somewhere and Aberforth is getting on in age. It just seemed right.
I LOVE THOSE TWO. I wrote this with the intention of making them very prominent characters but they've fallen by the wayside a bit. I'm really considering a spin-off for those two :P
Thank you so much, lovelyyy. I'm really glad that you liked it and IT'S SO OBVIOUSLY YOU :P
I love this story. Hannah and Neville have become my favorites for fan fiction. Writers block is understandable, jus please don't forget us. I have you saved as a favorite, will check in regularly! Good luck with your novelsAuthor's Response: Thank you so much. I'm really happy you like it! I definitely won't forget this; I like it too much. I'm working on it at the minute but it's not quite flowing. As soon as the knack comes back, I'll update!
Thanks again :) Report Review
Very nicely done. You have captured the feeling of helplessness after the battle very well. No one who was involved in the battle will come out untouched.
There are many forms of Post Traumatic Stress, some are very mild and need no treatment while others are completely dibillitating. Most warriors suffer some where in the middle.
I like the fact Hannah is begining to realize she has a problem (most folks don't for, sometimes, years).
This is a very well written piece and very easy to read. You seem to have a natural storyteller's gift. You describe the events, setting and use dialouge very well.
I look forward to reading more of this story and more of your work.Author's Response: Thank you so much for such a lovely review! I'm really happy that you used the word 'helpless' because I think that's one of the best adjectives you could use to describe the effect I wanted.
Oddly, I've never really thought of Hannah - or the others - suffering from Post Traumatic Stress. It sounds quite obvious now but I am by no means a psychologist and would never wish to pretend that I am. Hannah slowly comes round to the idea that she isn't 'back to normal' - it does fluctuate for her.
Thank you so much. I'm really happy that you took the time to leave a review. It's really made me think!
I hope you enjoy the rest of this; sadly, everything else is a little less ... substantial than this in terms of its plot. More romance, less thought-inducing! I'm working on the next chapter as I type so hopefully my block on this story will be conquered soon!
Thanks again. Report Review
this has easily become one of my favourite stories to read!! i'm so grateful to have happened upon it and can't wait to read what happens next. Good Luck with you future writing and God BlessAuthor's Response: Wow, thank you so much. I'm really, really struggling with writing both my novels at the minute. Hopefully I'll get out of my block soon and I promise this will be finished.
Thank you. Report Review
This is such a beautiful story. Hannah is so well characterised, and we can just feel what it's like to be her so well! The Neville/Hannah bits really make me smile, but I still worry for her :( The descriptions of everything she sees really help us get a grasp on Hannah's reality too. I really love this - please keep it coming! TGK :)Author's Response: Thank you so, so much for such a lovely review. I'm glad you still worry for Hannah because she's nowhere near 'better' and I imagine even after the story's finished, there will still be a long healing process for her.
As soon as I kill this writer's block, I'll be sure to update. I desperately want to but the words just aren't coming for me at the minute.
Thank you! Report Review
This is a wonderful depiction of what an ideal Post-Hogwarts story should be like. I know we have some very good Harry/Ginny ones but I always felt that the others needed attention as well.
All I can say is, well done. The picture you paint of Hannah as the vulnerable, broken girl is magnificent. I'm interested to know how you managed to capture her character traits ( as she wasn't really a part of the original series that much ). What inspired you to show her like you've done ?
Neville, again is brilliant. You have managed to make him a strong willed character with his old quirkiness still within himself.
Overall, brilliant work. Update soon :)Author's Response: Hi!
I'm sorry this has taken forever to reply to. I've been trying to do so for ages but I've been hit with every type of writing-related block possible!
I think the others are more important to me than the central characters these days. In my head, the aftermath of the war for Harry and co is very single track and obvious, something I'm not sure I'd like to pin down. The ship of Hannah and Neville, however, always intrigued me and I wanted to find a way to portray their relationship in a manner that was original and different.
Hannah, for some reason, was always quite vivid in my head. She was barely ever mentioned but still she was very well formed, helped even more when JKR revealed she married Neville. I think the death of her mother was quite a crucial part of her life to include, and I wanted her to be quite isolated and alone in the story, hence her dad's kidnapping, Justin's disappearance and Ernie & Susan going AWOL. I wanted someone who Neville could save.
Thank you so, so much for such a gorgeous review. I've got writer's block at the minute but hopefully I can update soon.
xx Report Review
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