That was.new. The opening of this chapter is what really caught me. Hm, Carpathian Mountains? But if I'm much mistaken that's more Romania as you situated your chapter in. But the books hinted that ol' Tom was hiding in Albania. I may not have taken Eastern Europe geography but those are 2 seperate countries. Now to say that Weaselys are distantly related to the Potters, yeah that'll be ironic. But Hermione? THat's new. You should try to factor in a heritage test for her to see how she's related magically. But I have to ask, why wasn't Luna at party? Or Neville? Oh and I don't think it was mentioned but given your attention to detail I thought it was curious you didn't write in Javry's "capture" so he'd no longer be a free elf. The only other thing I found odd is that if you're having Tonks as the new SK how does that work if the main way into the Manor is through the portal at Burrow? I mean no Floo connection and I imagine one cannot apparate there either. We never really saw the way the property looks from the outside (as if there's a gate) Anyways, I'll try to check in here now and then for updates.Author's Response: Yes, Voldy is in Romania. As the chapter opens he mentions that the castle is a new acquisition. This is not the same castle that the Prologue took place in. As his influence expanded he moved. He may move yet again before the story ends. As far as distant relations go; as far as this story is concerned I have listed in the chapter the maiden surnames of the Potter wives. The first one, seven generations ago was a Weasley. There will be more about this in upcoming chapters. How Hermione is related is going to come out as well. You really don;t think Hermione would let something like that go un-investigated do you? The fact that Luna and Neville were not at the party was a calculated decision. I wanted to include them, I almost wrote something about it from Harry's point of view, wishing that he had invited them. But, as it was there were plenty of people at the party, and both Luna and Neville will show up at Bill and fleur's wedding, so you will get to see them very soon. If you read the sequence again with the blood-wards, you will notice right at the end there is a brilliant light that dazes everyone, as their sight is clearing you see Harry standing up from Kneeling next to Jarvy, and the elf is glowing golden. So, he has now been recaptured, and he couldn't be happier. The purpose of a secret keeper is having someone who knows a place's physical location. The fact that the only way to get there currently is through the Portis Omnibus is simply a mater of security. Since Tonks now knows the physical location she could, if she needed to get there another way such as apparrating to a location outside the wards, but she is the only one with this knowledge. Interestingly the way it is set up now, even Harry doesn't know the Manor's physical location so it all just builds better security. I have never had to describe the property from the outside, it has just not come up since they always turn up inside the house. I will keep it in mind for if it comes up. Thanks for all the comments! Report Review
Sorry this has taken awhile to get back to but you know my issues on following this here. Any new development on importing elsewhere? That said, let me say that your "capture" of the elves was...original I confess. I really commend your descriptive ability. Seems you don't leave out much details in any chapter.Author's Response: I have been accused of being to descriptive. I am glad you like the detail. You can find this story here, at Mugglenet, SIYE, and Fanfiction(dot)net if any of those work better for you? Report Review
Really nice. I take it that Aunt Petunia wasn't as thick as Uncle Vernon huh?Author's Response: No, not quite. Thanks for your comments! Report Review
Harry is a loving, caring and decent person, I wouldn't have dreamed two people like him, as for the first is a loving, Jesus.Author's Response: Yes he is, though I don't think I would comparatively put him on quite that level. Report Review
Aunt Petunia is still greedy? Sheesh, for someone who is pleading, no sorry, BEGGING, she is clearly not doing her part. That's the Aunt Petunia I know. Great job!Author's Response: Thank you very much! Report Review
Wonderful explanation, but why did Voldemort send draco and Narcissa there?Author's Response: Voldemort banished them, he does not even know to where. All he knows is nobody he has banished has ever returned. As for just where they are, you'll just have to keep reading to find out more. Thanks for reading and commenting! Report Review
Where were the things that Petunia had to say to Harry? Report Review
So, wonderfully, planned. You're stories feel like they've been planned out for days.Author's Response: It has indeed been planned out. Report Review
Nice going on thing with that plot.Author's Response: Thank you. And thank you for reading! Report Review
Cliffhanger: Where did Draco and Narcissa go?Author's Response: They went away. You will find out more a few chapters down the road... Happy reading! Report Review
Hi Jeo, Thanks for the explanation on previous chapter, I understand now, obviously I was reading too much into it. Now onto this chapter. My My, Harry had an eventful birthday. So glad Dobby found Harry and also surprised he would give up freedom. But I don't feel he would have unless it was to Harry and because he was a risk to Harry, I also love that he was doing it for the sake of Winky too. I like how you stated Harry was against it in 'principal' but knew would be best for everyone's security. (It makes me understand the bit of your other story where you explained how devoted Winky was to the Potters.). The manner in which you had Harry claim them was very creative, reminds me of dog training techniques. All of Harry's legal transactions although I'm sure a bit monotinous for you to write was amazingly detailed. I also like the details put into purchasing for the Quidditch field. Moving into the manner was deftly handled and the Harry/Ginny scene was great, so glad you didn't have them 'go all the way' yet, it just wasn't the 'Right' time. Looking forward to the next chapter, Happy Writing! -Lauraf68Author's Response: You are welcome regarding the clarity of the earlier chapter. I had left it a bit vague. Harry is indeed having an eventful Birthday and it is not over yet. This one turned in to two chapters and there is more yet to come. The Dobby issue is another of those decisions, like the earlier issue of the Dursleys and the money, that I expect to get some static on, but obviously I agree that Dobby would only willingly give up his freedom to Harry. He is already devoted to Harry, and there are more factors here than the moral issue of Elf slavery. I am glad you liked the details, sometimes I get really wrapped up in them and I often worry that they are too much. The inheritance I tried hard to keep down to what just needed to be told. The Harry/Ginny scene was surprisingly difficult to write. I really wanted to convey the level of passion between them and the hormonal drive, without letting it descend in to anything vulgar. Obviously I agree with you that it is just not yet the right time yet. I do hope you will enjoy the next chapter when it comes up. I have tried to bring in a couple of twists and as always more depth of detail to Harry's life and relationships. As always, thank you so much for reading and commenting. I look forward to the next. Report Review
Wow! Amazingly detailed chapter--I loved it!!! What did I love, you ask? The owls semi-patiently waiting and Jarvy vs Molly. Charlie, Helena, and Alex escaping Romainia; although it is concerning me that you explained Alex was late 30's--but how could she have worked with Moody in 1972--wouldn't she have been teenager then??? What did I misunderstand? Dumbledore card reading while the pixie turned the page (this one made me LOL)! The amazing Quidditch Pitch, facilities, and equipment. The wedding & bonding talk was interesting. The "frosting on the cake" was Percy's speech--(WHAT A NERD! But I guess he wouldn't be Percy if he didn't make a speech)--and George & Fred's return speech, that had me howling!! Keep up the good work, I hope to get to next chapter soon, but may not have Internet service this weekend. Happy Writing!! ~~ Lauraf68Author's Response: As always, I am very glad you enjoyed it. Lot's of little things in this one to add up to a fun chapter both to write and I apparently to read. To address the Alex question: if the year is 1997 and we assume she is 45 (accurate age not given _ I said she looked like she might have been in her late 30's) she would have been born in 1952, (correct?) which would have made her 20 in 1972. Just the right age to have finished school at 17 and completed 3 years of Auror training and be assigned to one of her first cases. I will check what I wrote again, but I am pretty sure I gave her age as an impression, not as a confirmed age. The rest I am just grateful that you found both informative and entertaining that was the goal. We are comiing soon to the end of the summer and with that the end of these chapters that are establishing character growth and background events. Eventually the Horcrux search is going to have to begin in ernest. hope you get to the next chapter soon and I will be looking forward to your comments. More is one the way! Thanks so much. Report Review
Hello Jeo, What a cute chapter!! I feel bad for Hermione, & wonder if her parents are safe out in the muggle world?? I'm Glad that Harry invited her to live at the manor and also glad that Lupin & Tonks will be there too!! I figured that Fleur would ask if they could use the Manor for the wedding, never considered Harry would offer before asking Grandparents or Jarvy. But I agree with Tonks & Harry that security will be better at the Manor. I just hope Jarvy gets some help. Again, it was a great chapter full of details and fun--I absolutely loved the library fairy idea!! Happy Writing!! ~~ Lauraf68Author's Response: Yes, it did turn out to be more or less a fluff chapter, but I love writing those just as much as the rest. It will not be long before the Manor is bristling with life again. Everyone seems to like the Library Pixies, which of course makes me happy. I try to make sure the story is peppered with little things that I hope enhance Rowling's basic vision. These Pixies are one such example. Will see how the wedding comes together, and if it was wise to hold it at the Manor in a couple of chapters. Until then... Happy reading!! And as always a hearty, Thank you!!! for your comments. Report Review
Hello Jeograph.remember me?? I had "lost" your story but (obviously) have found it again. I'm very happy you are back, as I am having trouble finding stories I enjoy. I took a self imposed break from reading HPFF starting with the sites last holiday shut down. But missed it so much that I came back within the last couple of weeks. I was searching for something new and your 'old' story popped up. I've now re-read from the beginning and reacquainted myself. I loved, and hated this chapter. It is very well written, you had me at every level of emotion. I hated the fact that Cissy had to die without talking to Draco, but then she was able to (great sceen BTW so glad Draco fought for her soul--and won). I hated that the Shaman was so curt and rude to Draco, after-all he just lost his mother man -- have some compassion!! But then I started to see what the Shaman was doing and loved that Draco would finally be 're-trained' from the inside out. Not only building physical strength but mental strength. Now the Snape scene, I'm not sure what to think of it. I hope your Snape is not a total baddie. I like JKR's 'bad Snape is actually good Snape' storyline. So for now I'll reserve judgement on that storyline. Again, I'm glad you're back and I'm glad I found you -- onto to the rest of the story. Happy writing!!! ~~ Lauraf68Author's Response: Yes, I remember you, and I am so glad you are back! I was gone for nearly two years, so I feared that I would have lost most of my most valued readers. (My real life book hasn't done all that well BTW, and life kinda went on a downward spiral for a while.) I am grateful you returned and that you have rediscovered my story. I do hope you will comment on each new chapter! I understand your feeling on this chapter. It was heart wrenching for me to finally kill Cissy, but it had to be done as it will facilitate Draco's further growth. Likewise the Shaman and his behavior is a little curt, but don't worry, he really is a wonderful guy... he just has a pupil to initiate at the moment and so he has to make sure Draco is truly broken down so that the best of him can be built back up again. I am not going to say to much about Snape just yet, you'll just have to watch for clues. But if it makes you feel better, I am writing this story with adherence to canon and so, even though I am completely ignoring the events of DH, I am accepting what was established as canon history, and thus I am not altering Snape's history and motivation. Perhaps knowing that will help? I am equally glad you are back, and I look forward to your comments with great anticipation. Thank you so much! Report Review
How house-elves are claimed was an interesting idea and the Quidditch equipment resolution was also good. Ginny's "test" for Harry was also an interesting idea and it is no surprise that he would pass. The TMI moment at the end was pretty funny. Regarding your question about the twins in the previous chapter, I did think of getting them paired off based on the context. However, without that context I would have thought she would be referring to them being more mature. Part of that would include pairing off but I think she'd be more interested in them taking life more seriously. I just think the joke shop suits them too well and they'll never really grow up the way their mother would prefer.Author's Response: I see what you mean about the twins. Growing up is such a relative thing. I suspect they will never grow completely up by some people's standards. On the other hand, the Joke shop suits them and they have made it a success, they are doing well at running a busy business, so I figure they have grown up pretty well. ~~~ The house-elf binding was my way of trying to get deeper in to the issue than JKR ever tried. Everything she has written about House-elves stresses their attitudes toward being servants and it just doesn't match with the attitudes of an oppressed people, so there just has to be something more to it. I am just trying to explore some of what that is. I expect some opposition, I have already been told that it is out-of-character for Dobby. But then, character is a matter of perception, and I don't think it is OOC in this case. ~~~ Funny, I didn't see the scene with Harry and Ginny as being a "test" on Ginny's part, in my view it is something Ginny thinks she is ready for, though as a parent I am not sure I would agree. I wanted to show however that Harry is very serious about this relationship and though his hormones are as on fire as any young man his age he knows there is much more at stake and he wants to be absolutely sure to get it right... not just for himself, but for all concerned. You can be sure the issue will be revisited before all is said and done. ~~~ I guess you haven't read it, but I read one of your stories and left a review... I also brought up the idea of Beta reading, as you have offered in the past. If you are interested contact me at Jeograph (at) hotmail (dot) com. I have been having a very difficult time finding new Betas. ~~~ As always, thanks so very much for the review! JEO Report Review
Jeo, Another Outstanding chapter. You did gloss over some of the property and business that Harry inherited. That I have a feeling could have an impact in future chapters. Still this Birthday has got to be the happiest Birthday that Harry has ever had. The Manor is going to be an Awesome home. On the homefront, the addition of Dobby and Winky is very interesting as well as a very important aspect of the story. As you explained, only an indentured Elf can breech the Magical wards of the Ministry and other places, not owned by Harry. It also made sense as being owned saved Winky's life. Dobby was already attached to Harry without the claiming, but this way no other Wizard can claim him. I look forward to the Party. FoM PS I do keep expecting something Dark to happen, Riddle and his band of thugs not trying for Harry doesn't make sense. But I'm sure you'll explain it.Author's Response: Thank you for the vote of confidence! Yes I did gloss over some of Harry's inheritance, and yes you will see more of its effects as the story continues, but no need to bore people with the business details. I am glad you seem to like the addition of Dobby and Winky to Harry's household. I expect some opposition to that actually, I have been told it is out of character for Dobby, but I don't really think so, and yes it is a matter of some security. ~~~ Not to worry, dark stuff is on the horizon, but Riddle doesn't think of Harry as much of a threat now that Dumbledore is gone and he is busy stirring things up elsewhere at the moment. Thanks so much for the review! JEO Report Review
Great Chapter!Love the scene between Ginny & Harry! Harry not only proved his love but his honor & respect as well! Can't wait for the next chap please update soon!Author's Response: Working on it! Gotta get it past my Beta. Report Review
A good chapter with lots going on. The 'feeling bond' is good. It seems to me that magical folk would have extra senses that Muggles (mostly) don't. It's something I'm using in my own fic as well - but I called it magical empathy and only a few have it (like Harry and Ginny of course!) One weakness in this chapter was the believability of Charlie turning up within seconds of talking about him - like the Voldemort taboo! I didn't even have time to get worried! Forward planning is better. Talk about him for a chapter or two and raise the tension first. I like the idea of the Dumbledore card reading a book with the pages turned by a pixie! I want one of those pixies!Author's Response: I agree about having Charlie turn up like that, I should have spent more time foreshadowing. But, I wanted him home for the wedding and I was heating things up in Eastern Europe so much that I was thinking readers might have put it together already. Anyway, it sort of snuck up on me as well, it was suddenly time to bring him back and I realized I hadn't given it any build up. I want a pixie too! Thanks for the comments. Report Review
Inevitably, most readers reviews get shorter as they progress through a story because on-going loves and hates have all been expressed and no point in repeating them except where one has to. This chapter is okay-ish but still feel not much is progressing. Well, for Voldemort it is but Harry seems in no hurry to save the world. He may get too comfortable in his new home. At least the library seems a good place to research things that might help. To answer your question about Scrimgeour, I'd like him better if he were offering to help Harry but I get the feeling he wants Harry to help him. He has his own agenda. He wants Harry to be Ministry-led whereas the Ministry ought to be looking to Harry for guidance as to how they can support him. Scrimgeour ought to be anxious to assist in expediting the unfoldment of the prophecy. Harry is the chosen one, not Scrimgeour. If he doesn't believe in that then he must think Harry's just a schoolkid freak who happened to have survived a killing curse but he might be of use to promote the Ministry line. Compare Lupin in DH where he offered his help no questions asked.Author's Response: I agree, in fact I think I am having a bit of frustration with myself in that regard. The chapters I am writing right now feel very much like housekeeping, or set-up. It is all important events but none of it appears to forward the main plot very much. Which may be why so many of my readers really like the Draco chapters, because at least there the character development is more dramatic and mysterious. I will be happy when I get through the events of the summer and get the characters back to Hogwarts. Right now I am finishing up the chapter with Harry's Birthday, then there will be the Wedding and probably one more in which they get all their Hogwarts letters and do their final preparations, then finally they will return to Hogwarts. Would some more dramatic action sequences help? As far as Scrimgeour goes, I was just curious about your thinking on the matter. I get what you are saying, but for me personally it would be extremely out of character for him to follow Harry, or anyone for that matter, when he is the "head of state". He cannot be seen to be following Harry because he has been elected to the highest post, and he must be the leader. At this point, to the Wizard World at large, (not the readers) there is no hard evidence that Harry is indeed "the chosen one", nor is anyone outside the inner circle aware of the content of the prophecy. I think Scrimgeour knows that Harry is indeed significant and may well be "the chosen one" but the absolute best he can do is cooperate with Harry, he cannot be seen to be following him. That is what made me curious as to why you listed him among the "Bad Guys". In Rowling's written encounters I always thought that it was Harry that was being completely uncooperative, I never saw anything nefarious about Scrimgeour's agenda, and in fact as he dies fairly quickly into DH I don't think there was. I think he really tried his best and I felt like he might have been able to do a better job if the Order had cooperated a bit and helped him understand what he was up against. But, it didn't serve the story to do so. To me it felt a bit contrived. It made Harry complicit in the downfall of the Ministry in DH, because he insisted on leaving them out in the cold. Even though he would not have had to share anything particularly vital in order to help Scrimgeour root out some of the evil in the Ministry. I happily read DH and was glad that the story concluded, but there was a lot I did not like about it. And that was hard after being so involved in the books. The next chapter should be up soon, I am actually having more problems with validation at the moment so I am trying to find another Beta reader. That and the holidays have been a huge distraction. Thanks for everything and There should be more soon. Report Review
Good chapter. Well-written. Be interesting to see what happens next to Draco. You'll have to write faster - I'm catching you up! :) Looking forward to Harry, Ginny, Hermione, Ron, Luna, Neville bashing Scrimgeour, Snape, Draco, and Voldy! Well... I can dream can't I? On the previous chapter fight sequence I yield the point. The vision in my head was of 10 or 20 Aurors plus Moody and Kingsley all pointing their wands at one man so the outcome was puzzling. BTW the server or a connection crashed when I posted my original review for that so I had to rewrite it all. That might be why your response was rejected - there's probably a rogue empty review like a spanner in the works somewhereAuthor's Response: Draco has a lot to do before he can ever come home. yes I suspect you will indeed catch me up very soon. I am writing as I can, but with the holidays I had lots of family obligations etc. My oldest daughter is still visiting and she likes to use my computer all the time, but I am working at it. Sounds like a nice dream, but I think I'm likely to let you down on those specific requirements. I am curious, of that list, what makes you see Scrimgeour as one of the bad guys? I will look forward to your next. Thanks so much. Report Review
I keep hoping Draco will get what he deserves and will be eaten by sharks or some other similarly horrible death.Author's Response: Not likely to happen in this story, Sorry. But, he is not having a very good time of it right now. Thanks for reading and reviewing. Report Review
THIS IS A RESPONSE TO THE PREVIOUS REVIEW Sorry for some reason the response button was not present for your last review, so I thought I would respond using the review panel. I hope you will see it. To: Hippothestrowl, All I can do here is try to address each point of your string of questions. I will make an assumption here if I am incorrect I apologize. But I assume you have never experienced any sort of actual conflict of this sort. I myself am a combat veteran and I can tell you in the heat of conflict even the best trained soldiers do not always do exactly as they ought. Why didnt the Aurors cut Yaxley down in an instant? Well, one can only assume that like any police force they are not necessarily used to engaging in these sorts of battles as they really do not happen all that frequently. They did in fact get the upper hand but Yaxley was able to defeat them with one extraordinarily powerful spell, which Harry and Kingsley were just able to escape by casting shield charms. I take your point that Kinglsy should have just cast a spell when he yelled the mans name, but my assumption was that he was actually surprised by the mans identity and may have thought that if he got his attention the whole conflict could have gone another way. After all at that point Yaxley was the last DE standing. It was a misjudgment on Kingsleys part, but not an unprecedented one in such conflicts. As far as Mr. Flemming goes I believe he is acting exactly in character if you manage to root out the literary reference here and let that inform your understanding of the character. Sean Flemming is a combination of names, Sean Connery, and Ian Flemming, and the description of the man is almost directly that of the description Ian Flemming wrote of James Bond. Now, I am not in any way trying to write a crossover here, but it is a literary reference to another fictional world, and if you have any understanding of that world it should inform your understanding of who this character is and what he might be like. At the very least, though he is not James Bond, he is patterned from that mold. The name is simply a nod to that other work. My take is sort of this. If the James Bond stories had been written based on real, Royal Secret Service agents, if such secret service existed Sean Flemming would be one of these guys, and he has been sent into the Magical world at the behest of the Prime Minister. After all, why wouldnt the Muggles take the opportunity to gather intelligence, especially when the Prime Minister does not know, and is not being told by the Ministry of Magic, any particular details about what is actually going on in the Magical world. Instead he is being treated like a Muggle and is essentially being told, Oh, not to worry, there is a bad thing happening in the magical world, and it may overflow in to the Muggle world, but well handle it. If I were the Prime Minister and was getting this sort of a brush off, but the concern was grave enough to warrant the placement of a Wizard (Kingsley) on my direct staff. I would seize upon any opportunity to send in my very best agent as well. The conversation with Scrimgeour was intended to be much informed by that of HBP, with one very crucial difference. Harry is now ready to actually listen. Hopefully some rather interesting things will come from that conversation, one of them being an ongoing dialogue and the other being the formation of a Wizard Army, both of which are hinted at and will take shape in further chapters. As ever I am enjoying your observations and comments. I look forward to more. However as the next chapter is a Draco chapter, I will anticipate a pre-stated lack of interest. As always, thank you so much, and happy reading. Report Review
Some interesting things going on here but the fight sequence just does not work. Why did all those trained Aurors not cut down Yaxley in an instant? Why did Kingsley shout "Yaxley!" when he should have shouted "Stupefy!" or some such and everyone else remained silent, pausing for dramatic effect and to give time for Yaxley to strike? The security Muggle reads like someone who routinely murders people and then grins about it instead of checking to see if the guy is dead, or needs help for his injuries, or indeed, is still a threat. He doesn't treat Yaxley as if he were a real person so therefore, I, as a reader, can't either - and the incident loses power and meaning. The meeting with Scrimgeour was fine at the start but kind of duplicated what was at the end of HBP yet with Harry seeming to yield instead of resist. It also didn't bring out exactly what Harry could do for the Ministry or what the Ministry could do for Harry. Might be interesting to see what comes of that.Author's Response: All I can do here is try to address each point of your string of questions. I will make an assumption here if I am incorrect I apologize. But I assume you have never experienced any sort of actual conflict of this sort. I myself am a combat veteran and I can tell you in the heat of conflict even the best trained soldiers do not always do exactly as they ought. Why didnât the Aurors cut Yaxley down in an instant? Well, one can only assume that like any police force they are not necessarily used to engaging in these sorts of battles as they really do not happen all that frequently. They did in fact get the upper hand but Yaxley was able to defeat them with one extraordinarily powerful spell, which Harry and Kingsley were just able to escape by casting shield charms. I take your point that Kinglsy should have just cast a spell when he yelled the mans name, but my assumption was that he was actually surprised by the manâs identity and may have thought that if he got his attention the whole conflict could have gone another way. After all at that point Yaxley was the last DE standing. It was a misjudgment on Kingsleyâs part, but not an unprecedented one in such conflicts. As far as Mr. Flemming goes I believe he is acting exactly in character if you manage to root out the literary reference here and let that inform your understanding of the character. Sean Flemming is a combination of names, Sean Connery, and Ian Flemming, and the description of the man is almost directly that of the description Ian Flemming wrote of James Bond. Now, I am not in any way trying to write a crossover here, but it is a literary reference to another fictional world, and if you have any understanding of that world it should inform your understanding of who this character is and what he might be like. At the very least, though he is not James Bond, he is patterned from that mold. The name is simply a nod to that other work. My take is sort of this. If the James Bond stories had been written based on real, Royal Secret Service agents, if such secret service existed Sean Flemming would be one of these guys, and he has been sent into the Magical world at the behest of the Prime Minister. After all, why wouldnât the Muggles take the opportunity to gather intelligence, especially when the Prime Minister does not know, and is not being told by the Ministry of Magic, any particular details about what is actually going on in the Magical world. Instead he is being treated like a Muggle and is essentially being told, âOh, not to worry, there is a bad thing happening in the magical world, and it may overflow in to the Muggle world, but weâll handle it.â If I were the Prime Minister and was getting this sort of a brush off, but the concern was grave enough to warrant the placement of a Wizard (Kingsley) on my direct staff. I would seize upon any opportunity to send in my very best agent as well. The conversation with Scrimgeour was intended to be much informed by that of HBP, with one very crucial difference. Harry is now ready to actually listen. Hopefully some rather interesting things will come from that conversation, one of them being an ongoing dialogue and the other being the formation of a Wizard Army, both of which are hinted at and will take shape in further chapters. As ever I am enjoying your observations and comments. I look forward to more. However as the next chapter is a Draco chapter, I will anticipate a pre-stated lack of interest. As always, thank you so much, and happy reading. Report Review
Firstly, let me say I'm pleased to hear you mention in a previous response there may be some Hogwarts time. I feel more at home there (even though some of my fics have travelled to other locations.) I like the creaking step. I hate it when someone just turns up by amazing coincidence without a good explanation so this seemed very reasonable. Ginny would mostly be thinking of Harry quite naturally and keyed up to this opportunity if she was awake (maybe even if she was half-asleep!) The manor scenario worked OK and was readable for me even though not a big WOW factor. I wouldn't want to read it twice though - big house and erm... an elf... in a big house. But I didn't skip anything. Promise. One thing puzzles me. The doorknob thing is not what I expected. I thought it would be more independent like a portkey. So where's the security? I mean, what happened when Mrs Weasley went to get the bacon out of her pantry that morning. Didn't she say to herself, "Funny, don't remember my pantry being this big?" It can't be Potter only - or Potter with guest(s) because they all came through later with the elf. And suppose Scrimgeour or somebody pops in via the floo network into the Burrow while they're gone? Or Mundungus Fletcher? When they get back they may find all the silver gone. Anyway, your Burrow kitchen is like my concept - back door, pantry door, door to living room (which I call parlour in my fics as it's more old-fashioned.) Sometimes I visualise a hallway with foot of the stairs in between kitchen and parlour. Funny that.Author's Response: Yes, They will be returning to Hogwarts. Hmm.. seems you are a tough one. I will have to eventually come up with an amazing twist or something to really get you engaged. Still, I love that you are reading the story. Forgive me but I truly enjoy the irony of your asking me a question about a detail that was only implied. Okay, I am not asking you to go back and reread or anything, but, right before Harry and Ginny stepped through the door, while it was active and full of ribbons of light, Harry removed the Portis Omnibus and put it in his robe pocket. When they were in the new space and the door shut, there was no light effect, the implication being that the portal was no longer active. The entry security is handled by the combination or turns of the nob, which Harry got from the poem, and since he kept the knob with him, there was no risk of anyone accidentally finding an active portal. Now, to the issue of Molly going in to the pantry. Well, this is really the missing detail, because there is no mention that she found the wooden nob sitting on the counter where Harry had left it. I did almost write this, but ultimately it is a very minor thing and I thought no one would notice. In fact, you are the first to notice, or at least to say anything. My own explanation for this omission is that The Burrow is not in the best condition, and the nob probably comes off on a fairly frequent basis, so Molly did in fact find the nob when she got up to start breakfast, but she just thought nothing of it. Simple I know, but it didn't seem worth a couple extra paragraphs at the time to explain. Obviously then, when Jarvy returns to the Manor and brings the others he has the Portis Omnibus from Harry, but this detail also seemed hardy worth the words required to explain it. The floo network is another discussion entirely. It is sort of a pet peeve of mine that JKR never defined it further. I have always imagined that there must be some way that a floo traveler can announce or even request to uses a private floo prior to travel and or arrival. And there must be some way to lock your private floo to prevent unwelcome arrivals, for the very reasons of the example you give. In my other story, (which I am not suggesting you read as I doubt you would be interested) I have the floo as lockable. Of course this creates some problems with canon. In CS when Harry arrives at Borgin and Burkes via floo I always assumed that Harry arrived at the nearest unlocked grate closest to his intended destination. But, this is just my assumption as the information in canon is not specific. His mispronunciation of "Diagon Alley" was clearly enough to prevent a solid floo journey to his intended destination, but it was not sufficiently like "Borgin and Burkes" to send him directly there without it being some sort of proximity. Anyway that is my take. I do hope that answers your question. I am pleased that we have a similar take on the The Burrow kitchen. Every once in a while I get so involved that I will actually draw out a floor plan of a structure I am writing about, but I have not yet done that for any of the structures in this story. I have come close for both the Burrow and the Manor, but no blueprints yet. Well, anyway, thank you for reading and commenting, and as always happy reading. Report Review
The second half of this chapter draws more interest - more actual story. The leaf flutter charm is an inventive idea and the SPEW badge pin doubly strong because it impresses Hermione as well as being a useful, believable tool for the moment. The lockbox contents progress the story. I think that's the weakness elsewhere for me: slow-paced and lacking progression - too much routine background. Maybe I've read too many Potter fics but I think background story should be going on in the background as a 'given' while the real story, a focus of interest, continuously unfolds on top, eg, the lockbox opening is the story here, the tree house is background. So if this had only been a tea party in a tree house it would have been rather routine. I think I like the main young characters though - it feels like them.Author's Response: Point taken. It pleases me that the characters feel right to you, I am taking liberties with them of course so that they grow through the story, but hopefully this growth will feel natural. I find myself anticipating your comments on the next chapter. It is admittedly background building in nature, but also foundational. Thank you for all your time, reading and commenting. Report Review
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