This was a poignant and subtle story. It gives a little bit of a different view of the Marauders when they were at school -- they were kind to Rosmerta, anyway.
I liked the device of their thoughts (italicized paragraphs) mirroring each other, I thought that worked really well, and the parallel conclusions were quite poignant.
I don't really have any suggestions for improvement, I think this story is lovely just the way it is. There are a couple of punctuation/space issues (ellipsis (...) generally has a space after it) but it could simply be a publishing hiccup. :)
She may not have much to show for herself, but she can boast this much: She knows loneliness when it walks into her pub. She feels it keenly, as if it's her own... and it is. It flares up now, sharply, within her chest, recognizing itself in another. She understands, and thinks perhaps this will be the day she is finally understood.
I always assumed Rosmerta to be an older character, but since there's no canon age for her, you are free to interpret, and I really like your version just the way you have it. I also loved the way you left the ending open, leaving the reader free to imagine what might have happened between them on those quiet nights during PoA.
Lovely job! I really enjoyed it.Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! I had never written Rosmerta before, and I got this idea of pairing her with Lupin, and the whole idea grew out from there. And even though Rosmerta is always this sparkling, happy person in the books, I wanted to take a different approach, exploring the idea of loneliness and unfulfilled hopes, and making her parallel to Lupin in that way.
Rosmerta's age was challenging at first, because we're not really given any solid indication in the books. I think at some point we're told that she's middle-aged when Harry's at school - I'm not sure though - but the fact that Ron had a bit of a crush on her led me to think she couldn't be all that old. But she was there at the Three Broomsticks when the Marauders were in school, so where does that leave us? I figured I would just play her slightly older than the Marauders, which would be reasonable in terms of what we know of her from canon, and would allow me to play out this little mutual crush thing going on between her and Remus.
And I left it open-ended for exactly that reason - I think sometimes the most satisfying ending is when the reader can imagine whatever suits their fancy, and my intent with this was really only to plant a seed in people's minds. Really, once I wrote this pairing, I got really hooked on it. All due respect to Tonks, I'm thinking I may have to write another Remus/Rosmerta in the future. ^_^
Thank you again! I really enjoyed your review.
Melanie Report Review
lol. After the review that Tanya (writeyourheartout) left there's really nothing more fangirlish things I could possibly add, so I'll make this simple: I loff you! If I could just have even an ounce of your talent, I'd be the happiest gal in the world. /end of fangirl mode.
Everything about this is beautiful. Everyone said the same thing already, but I feel like repeating that to you, in case you forget. Haha. I always love obcure/odd pairings, so thank you for writing this. The way you spun your words and phrases together made this simple story really special.
He still keeps his distance, as though afraid she's going to bite him at any moment.
That line really struck me for some reason, even though there was nothing really special about it. Rosmerta said that but for some reason, the word 'bite' made me think of Remus. She had no idea but in that simple sentence, she probably just summed up Remus Lupin's life. I'm not even sure whether you intended it to come across that way or not, but the whole irony of it just gets to me, you know? Gah. I just love it.
Thank you for sharing this stunning piece to us. I'll keep stalking your stories, if you don't mind. Haha. Keep writing! ^_^ Report Review
Oh my gosh, this was extremely sweet. There is just something about your writing that is extremely...attractive. Lol! Odd wording, maybe, but true! That bit about the magnetic pull to Rosmerta is what I feel with your writing. Some of your sentences are breathtaking, like, seriously. I read the summary of the story and I literally didn't breathe again until I clicked in and started reading. You just know your way around with words.
Anyways, the story! How sad and uplifting! All it takes is a friend to start to make things better, but they were both feeling the same! Unworthy? Unsuccessful? Not that any of that matters when it comes to easing loneliness, anyways. I was so glad when it came to see a bit of it from Rosie's point of view. And, Rosie! Can't help but think of Samwise Gamgee and Rosie Cotton at times that these, eh?
In any case, this short story was more than sweet. I was very very glad to have read it. Thanks! Report Review
Dude, you do not know how long it took me to finally get this review to you!
First let me say that this pairing is really obscure yet rather cute. I love how each of them are so oblivious to each others true situation, i.e. Both of them are strikingly similar. I also love how you wrote their own perspectives of the little reunion and the unspoken question of "So what have you been doing for the past sixteen years?" The answers too, made me laugh a little bit. Not because of the content but because they expected the other to do well when they really and truly did not.
What really caught my attention was how little they thought of themselves and how if they told each other how they really felt, there would be no need for those thoughts because they would have found the common ground with each other. It makes this story of yours kinda tragic that way.
I also loved your characterisation of Remus. It was always how I pictured him, especially his teenage-self. Sweet and shy =]
You mentioned in the TGS thread that you wanted someone to point out what you did wrong/right but as far as I can see, keep doing whatever it is you're doing.
I really enjoyed this story, you did a great job ^_^
Lia. Report Review
Oh, man, I don't know how I stumbled upon this one-shot but I'm so glad I did!
I loved how you characterized Remus and Rosmerta; I honestly never gave a second thought to Rosmerta but this story just changed my entire perspective on her! Your detailing of everything is just so beautiful and it comes together ever so perfectly.
I honestly don't know what else to say except to shower you with compliments! Great work!Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for the great review. I had never really thought about Rosmerta much either, but I liked being able to create a different side to her than the one we see in the books.
I really appreciate the review, and I'm glad you enjoyed this little one-shot. :-)
You are such a wonderful writer, it truly blows me away. You have this amazing ability to take a rather simple storyline and make it so meaningful and captivating in just a few short paragraphs. And it isn't just your beautiful choice of words and phrasing that makes your stories so delightful, it's that you have this perfect understanding of every character you write about. I've read your stories about Ron, Percy, and Sirius, and now Remus and Rosmerta, and every character is so magnificently on point that I am truly blown away.
This piece, in my opinion, was simply stunning.
Of the stories I've read of yours, this has to be my favorite thus far. Perhaps I'm being a bit biased, because I happen to be in love with one Remus Lupin, but that should technically only make me even more critical of a Remus portrayal in a fanfic. The Lupin in this story is so the reason that I love him so much. I absolutely have to quote from your delicious wording of him:
""Hey, Rosie," he would say after a few minutes of small talk, his hands in his pockets, scuffing the toe of his shoe against the floor, flashing his shy smile and willing himself not to blush in front of her, "you wouldn't have any unclaimed firewhisky lying around, would you?""
Oh my goodness. That is the absolute definition of Remus Lupin - those few sentences, those choice words, that phrasing - spot on. That paragraph is why I love him, and I had the biggest smile on my face when reading through it. So perfect. There are a thousand things I could ramble on about when it comes to Remus and this story, but I will simply sum that aspect of the story up by saying that it is, in my opinion, a flawless portrayal, and I have to thank you for writing him so carefully.
Moving on to Rosmerta - someone who I've honestly never spared much of a second thought on, and to be honest, it almost made me pass over this fiction altogether, but thank goodness I came to my senses and took a chance on this story! You've brought Rosmerta into a whole new light for me - and this is what I mean by your ability to simply understand the characters you choose to write about. You took a very small, usually forgotten canon character and turned her into this complex, overlooked, poor woman who isn't the happy and beautiful barmaid that we see in the story. I've never thought about the fact that Rosmerta's life has probably not been that satisfying and that other canon character's, and myself as a reader too, have simply overlooked her, content with the fact that she Seems like a happy person, so therefore she must be! And after reading this, I kind of feel a bit ashamed for passing her up...
This line here is what really did me in: "...anything to get out of Hogsmeade."
Again I say Oh my goodness. Why? Because when I think of Hogsmeade, I think of this wonderful village that the students of Hogwarts look forward to escaping to on special weekends - a magical town that gives them freedom and fun and lifts their spirits, no matter the case, and then you threw this Huge curve ball out there by simply stating how Rosmerta would give anything to get Out of Hogsmeade! I read that line and went 'Whoa.' You changed the game on Hogsmeade with those few words. You flipped the perfect little village, that was once a place to escape to, and turned it into a prison, relentless and unforgiving. Absolutely blew my mind...
And now the two as a couple - holy beard of Merlin, I suddenly think they are perfect for each other. I'd never even considered the possibility, but this story changed the game on that as well. I am mystified about the fact that I'd never seen this as a possibility before, because it suddenly feels so right. I love the way you have both characters thinking the same thoughts, though slightly altered. Both of them feeling so similar, even with their situations so different, their mutual feelings of absolute loneliness is what unites them so beautifully. Corresponding emotions, regardless of the situations that evoke said emotions, are such powerful tools for bringing people together, and you displayed that fact brilliantly.
(My review exceeds the maximum length so I have to continue on a separate one! And I blame you for writing such an exceptional story that I can't seem to stop myself from writing about it!)Author's Response: GAH. Wow. I am so flattered and don't even know where to begin with responding. Thanks for all the lovely compliments! Especially about my characterizations - I think characterization is my favorite aspect of reading and writing, because I just connect with people and characters so much more than with description, intricate plots, etc.
I read the last bit of the review for this that you tacked on to your review for "Aloof as a Bard" so I'll address that quickly - thanks so much for pointing out the typos/missing words/etc. It must have been like 3 AM when I posted this, I don't know how I could have made those dumb mistakes. XD I guess we all have them.
Considering you like Remus so much, I am thrilled to hear you liked my characterization of him. I hate to think he wouldn't have been fun or funny and goofy at all - I mean, he DID hang out with James and Sirius, and there was a reason he was a Marauder. In my mind, he's bookish and shy but charming and, above all else, a teenage boy. It couldn't have been ALL seriousness.
With Rosmerta, I also never really thought of her as this lonely, pining person...but I like taking a new spin on minor characters like that, giving them a story you would never have thought of because we only ever see one aspect of them. And I agree, the idea of wanting to get out of Hogsmeade is so strange because it's this awesome place in the books - but that's from the point of the kids who spend all their time doing homework and running from teachers. I guess one person's heaven is another person's hell. Hogsmeade seems like it must be a small and somewhat boring town if you have to live and work there every day.
Haha...these two as a couple...I don't even know what I was thinking or how it came about...but once I got the idea into my head, I. Could. Not. Get. It. Out. It just stuck. I think I like Remus/Rosmerta better than Remus/Tonks almost. XD It just came from nowhere, and it stuck. I knew Rosmerta was at the Three Broomsticks when the Marauders were at school, but we were never told how old she was, so I figured it would make sense that she might still have been very young at that point. And considering Ron finds her a bit of a dish when she's older - at least middle aged - I imagine she must have been quite a Little-Miss-Thing when she was young.
This idea hit me, of two people who are each so disappointed in themselves, but so in awe of one another, and it really is such a sad idea, because I imagine a lot of people must live their lives that way. This idea of mirroring their emotions pulled me in, because a lot of times it's just Remus and his angst and self-loathing, paired with the totally awesome and confident girl who's going to help him or change him or god knows what. But what if it was someone just as lonely and sad as him? It broke my heart to think about it, but I loved the idea of these two people who really do need each other in a way, because they're both so friendless and yet such good people. How's that for cheesy and mushy? XD
I thank you so much for the amazing review! I really appreciate it - it absolutely made my week!
Melanie Report Review
First of all, I LOVE the title. It's what initially drew me to read this, and then I noticed who the author was, and that pretty much guaranteed a good read.
I really liked the way it went from Remus's perspective to Rosmerta's, and how their regrets about themselves and admiring opinions of the other were so similar. It just goes to show that you never know what the other person is thinking. :)
The whole thing was sweet and at the same time slightly... heart-breaking? Is that the word I want to use? My heart just ached a bit for the two of them, and how unfair life was for them both, and yet it also gave them a little bit of hope when they found each other again.
Beautiful piece!Author's Response: Hi Sami!
I'm really happy you liked the title. I agonized over it for quite awhile. I think I got the idea from a line from Sleepless in Seattle, when Sam says that the first time he touched his wife's hand it was like coming home. -weeps over beautiful romantic movies- And there's also a song, I think, that has "like coming home" in the lyrics, but it's escaping me right now.
I really liked writing the twin perspectives here, and making their feelings about themselves and each other parallel. I wanted to explore this idea of undervaluing oneself, and it seemed stronger to me if I made both Remus and Rosmerta insecure like this. Even though it's a different take on Rosmerta than we see in the books, I saw a lot of potential for sadness and regret in her character.
I'm glad the feeling of hope came through. I wanted it to be slightly uplifting, just hinting at what could be. :-)
Thanks for the review! I'm really glad you enjoyed this - it took me awhile to finally get it to a point where I was happy with it.
Melanie Report Review
It's amazing how people's perceptions of other people's perceptions of them can be so wrong/ muddled up. Seeing how Rosmerta thought Lupin had made something of his life when he thought he was useless was really sad. His self-esteem needs a real shake up! Luckily Tonks changes it for him in the end.
"Well, Rosie, I canít keep a job because Iím an abomination of mankind.If I were to die tomorrow, nobody would notice.Ē
No no no! That whole paragraph almost made me cry because I wanted to tell him it's not true! It's horrible how he looks back and thinks of what he could've been. I think the worst part is how he what it would've been like if he still had all three of his best friends. Especially as he's the one who survives the longest to see them all die in the end.
I'll stop wittering on now. :) A very simple but emotional story that was a little bit heartbreaking to read!
I want to give Lupin a hug.
10/10Author's Response: What is it with me and my terrible response time for your reviews?? I think it's because your reviews are always so thoughtful, I want to make sure to leave a good enough response. :-)
Anyway, I think you got exactly what I was going for, which was how each of them looks at the other with admiration, but at the same time they each have doubts about their own self-worth.
I know, I always feel very sad when I think about what Remus had to go through. He always struck me as a very lonely man, and it's heartbreaking. I don't know where I got the idea of pairing him with Rosmerta, or the idea of making her so angsty when she's normally a vibrant character, but once I got the idea in my head I couldn't get it out!
Thank you for the lovely review!!
Melanie Report Review
Oh, Melanie, this is FABULOUS!
Words cannot put into words how beautiful I found this to be. I've always thought that, while cute, Remus and Tonks were a little too mismatched, but this? This makes PERFECT sense! The ending scene only strengthens my support of Remus/Rosmerta!
I demand you write more of them!
♥ ♥ ♥,
MollyAuthor's Response: THANK YOU MOLLY.
We have already discussed the Remus/Tonks issue, so I won't go into that here. Suffice it to say that after this scene played out in my head I have been fanatically into Remus/Rosmerta. I really would like to write more about them, but not sure how I'll accomplish it. I guess it would have to be during Remus' time teaching there? We shall chat about this in the future, I'm sure.
Thanks so much for this review. :-)
Melanie Report Review
I love this story of parting friends and past flings! It's as if through all the turmoil that was going on after Hogwarts, Remus and Rosemerta find comfort in old memories with each other. Very sweet, very descriptive, and overall it was a delight to read. My favorite line was: "he might have more than a snowballís chance in hell." It really had nothing to do with the subject, but I found it whimsical. The story left me feeling warm and fuzzy. Good job!Author's Response: Hey Kimya! Thanks for the review! It seems like you understood what I was going for, which makes me really happy - finding comfort in old memories and such. I didn't want to make it an overt romance, so I left it a bit open. I'm glad it gave you warm-and-fuzzies... overall it was a sad story about loneliness, but with something hopeful at the end. :-) Thanks again!
Melanie Report Review
I loved this! The idea of Remus/Rosmerta is brilliant, and I loved the way you wrote both of them, especially Rosmerta. She's the kind of character you don't really think about - she's just always there in the background - so it was really interesting to see her in this context, with a story and a history. And it goes without saying, of course, that it was wonderfully written :) *favourites*Author's Response: Thanks! It came to me one day, and now I can't think of Remus with anyone else, at least in the time period before Tonks. Rosmerta is always this sparkling personality in the books, but I had this idea of her being so lonely and trapped, and having a soft spot for Remus because he's adorable. I really appreciate the review, and I'm flattered because I wasn't too sure about this at first. :-) Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection