this is sad it made me cry for sure how could she think it was there fault?Author's Response: Aw, I'm sorry that it made you cry but at least it was effective? And it was more of a reaction in the moment than in the long run, I'm sure that she'd get over it, but in that moment she can't help but to think that Lily's brothers should have been looking out for her. Thanks for taking the time to read and review though! Report Review
Aww, This was so sad. It even made me tear up a little bit :) Which is always a good thing in my book.Author's Response: Aww, hate to hear that you were tearing up! Thanks for the review. Report Review
This was very good, and very, very sad... I understand Ginny in one way, but I just can't understand how she can blame her sons for what happened. However, as I said, very good!Author's Response: I really think that Ginny was so upset and confused about what was happening that she wasn't really thinking her words though-which is why she blamed the boys. I think deep down she knows that they couldn't have saved her but they like to think that they could have. Thanks for the review! Report Review
Okay, I cried. I cried for Lily and I cried for James and Albus but I did NOT cry for Ginny. That is a horrible mother, if she favors Lily and blames everything on her sons; if anything, Lily's death should have made her love them more. Grr.
~FloraAuthor's Response: Personally I feel bad for Ginny because her actions were rash and I feel as though she's going to come to regret them in the future. It was just such a shock and she responded childishly. But yeah-James and Albus really got the short end of the stick in this situation.
Thanks for the review! Report Review
ummm...it's a really good idea, very dark and deep, but Ginny seems to think too clearly when she finds Lily dead, she be a total mess. She wouldn't be thinking about the past so quickly, probably try and get her back alive, scream hysterically and pay no attention to the two boys.
Then when she has calmed down, probably later on when Harry comes home and comforts her, she might think of blaiming it all on the two boys, as her mind tries to make sense of it. But that's just what I think.
Really good one-shot.Author's Response: Personally I thought that Ginny blaming her sons was her way of not making sense, because I don't think that she honestly thinks its their fault it's just that she just needs someone to blame. What your saying makes perfect sense too though, there are just lots of different ways to react to a situation. Anyways, thanks for the review! Report Review
I liked it. It was good, but I can't really help but hate Ginny...maybe it's because I just finished reading My Sister's Keeper and I hate the mum in that book too. But it was a good story.Author's Response: I hated the mom in My Sisters's Keeper too, the entire time I read it I was so mad at her, and I hate how they sort of took that element away in the movie. But I'm glad that you took the time to review, thanks! Report Review
I found "An Instant" to be a superbly written piece of fanfiction. I very much enjoyed the dramatic dynamic and nearly shed a tear from the terrible travesty that occurred to Lily. I enjoyed your take on Ginny and hope to read more of your work in the future!
Cheers, MischiefMitchedAuthor's Response: I'm really glad that you liked it, I tried to keep the 'accident' from being known until Ginny knew, which left the reader out of a little bit. I'm glad that you thought that the take on Ginny was good, I always get nervous writing such well know characters because I don't want to mess them up! Thanks for the review! Report Review
(Prize Review #1)
As a mother, I can totally relate to this. Your reactions were simple and tight, not drawn out for effect. They seemed so much more real than a long speech about her loss. The pain didn't have to be fully written to be understood. The imagery was well done and your structure was spot on. Spelling, grammar, tense - all great. This was a very well written and emotional peice. --JennaAuthor's Response: I really didn't think that Ginny would have been in a place to be able to say much, so I wanted to make sure that the few things that she did say were powerful. Thanks for the review! Report Review
Not sure I cried, but Ginny terrified me in the end, the idea that she could blame her sons over this. Woah. I was like 'what? Ginny, no!' but then remembered that she's lost her daughter - she's probably an utter mess.
I'm not sure whether it had an impact in the way that you intended, but it was quite creepy in the end. This would be good if you continued it into a sequel or something - Ginny's feelings towards her sons, etcetera. Good work (:Author's Response: Yeah, I pictured her to be a mess over all of this and mad at herself. Usually when people are mad at themselves they take it out on others, so that was why she blamed her sons.
I wasn't intending it to be creepy, but I've found that that's the way that most have found it. But I think a sequel would be something good in the future. :) Report Review
All I can say is... wow. Didn't make me cry, but it was so full of emotion! It was so good, except the Ginny at the end kind of scared me, saying "You killed my baby," and basically marking her son's out as murderers, when the tried as hard as they could. Beautiful peice. :)Author's Response: I really think that Ginny's emotions were out of control when she spoke about how they had killed their sister, because its clear that they didn't push her in and hold her under or anything. I think that as a parent she was upset with the fact that she hadn't been there, and she hadn't have the chance to help her child herself. But I'm glad that you liked it. :) Report Review
Wow. That was terrible (in the sense that you say a storm is terrible--that it's powerful and terrifying, not in any bad sense). Ginny has, for the first time in any story, scared me. I know and can understand how a parent can be upset with their child(ren), but the depth of Ginny's anger is unfathomable.
The emotion in this story is extraordinarily strong. It moves very quickly, and pulls the reader to read quickly, giving the story a rushed, almost frantic, air. Well done on that count.
There are, I'm sad to say, a few grammatical and spelling errors. When you introduce a sentence with a present participle (such as "Feeling desperate"--I think they're called participles in English; my grasp of grammatical terms is better when it comes to Latin than to English), you need to follow with a comma. In fact, nearly all your grammar errors were missing commas, and commas are slippery little beasts at the best of times.
Those mistakes do not harm the story, though. Overall it is a well-done, very moving piece. If I were a crying man, I'm sure it would have left me in tears. As it was, it was still rather close.Author's Response: Writing Ginny that angry was something I hadn't planned on at the start, but when I got there the words just started spilling out of her mouth. I tried to think about how she'd lost so many people in the past, and how awful it'd be to lose a child when you finally thought things were safe again.
Commas and I do not get along at all, it's one of the things I struggle with the most, so thanks for that tip, I'm going to try to go through and fix that next time I get the chance.
Thanks for leaving such an in depth review! Report Review
So, I didn't cry, but... holy crap! She's lost all of her kids, basically... The way she was like "You killed my baby" freaked me out, man. They lost their sister, and now their Mum doesn't like them anymore and thinks they're murderers.
Holy crap. Great job. It was really sad, and the ending freaked me the heck out. o.o
-JasmineAuthor's Response: It was really hard to write the whole part about Ginny thinking they were murderers and whatnot, but I was trying to think about how she would react on the spot and all, because loosing a child is so hard. But that doesn't mean that with time things wouldn't change, just for then things weren't so great. But I'm glad you liked it. Report Review
This was so sad:( You're a wonderful writer though !Author's Response: I'm happy that it was sad, because I was worried it wouldn't come across well. But I'm glad you liked the writing. :) Report Review
Make me cry, you did alright. wow. just... wow.Author's Response: I'm glad that it made you cry, seeing as that was the intent. Thanks for the review! Report Review
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