Haha aw this was so cute! I love a good fluffy story and I'm glad I read this!
Your interpretation of James was brilliant! I always pictured him being mischievous, along with Harry, and it was cute seeing them get together to work on a plan to get back at Ron :p
I also liked how you stuck to Harry and Ron's characters! I always find it quite hard to stick to characters who are already so well developed, and I thought you did a nice job!
The plan itself was really awesome. I loved Ron's reaction to hearing S.P.E.W again, because that's exactly how I'd picture him being lol. James and Harry were very smart in getting Rose to listen in! Of course she would eavesdrop. She's Hermione's daughter, after all ;D
The last bit was just great! I could see this going as an all out (mostly friendly) war between their families. Pranks are always a big part of being a Potter/Weasley and I always love reading about them (:
-AmandaAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for your kind words!
James was fun to write; no matter how mischievous you are, you can always beneficiate from your father's help to pull the best pranks, especially when it's on someone he's known for so long!!
I'm really pleased that you thought I managed to keep Harry and Ron in character. It is not easy, that's for sure, but I did my best!
I just had to bring back SPEW, to me, that's the one thing that Ron would most hate to see coming back to haunt him. Bringing it inside his house was just too much fun! Poor Ron! But of course, he would not let his best friend out of it!
I definitly see that as a friendly war between the two families and I'm glad you see it like that as well. Maybe Hermione would be a little annoyed to see that they are using her idea to do it but still, the rest of them would definitly enjoy it!
Thanks again for the review and for being so nice :) Report Review
Hullo! I really liked this, I enjoyed it from start to finish :) You write really well. I love your style and your word choice is amazing too. There aren't nearly enough stories like this on the archive, so I really took a fancy to reading this and I am so glad I did! You write the characters wonderfully, so many people write them OCC but you make it believable. You have a talent for it, as it's so hard to write other peoples characters, I as a writer find it hard, so I am quite envious of you for being able to do it so well! It was also really funny! I laughed throughout it so kudos for that! You are also are really good at writing humor. And the ending was just so perfect! I'm glad that Harry and James got to spend some time together, but it is completely believable that they would have drifted slightly when James went to school, as being away from your parent for like 8 months a year, would change the relationship slightly xD In all, a really good one shot! I loved it!Author's Response: Wow, this is such a kind review, I hardly know how to answer to it aside from saying thank you a dozen times!!
I'm so glad you enjoyed this story, even though it's been written so long ago (it was my second FF story) and it has hardly been touched since.
I find it hard as well to keep someone elses' characters in character, especially when it involves them being at a different age (younger or older) so I'm really pleased that you thought I did a good job in this piece.
16 is such a hard age; you want to get as far away as you can from your parents but at the same time, you still enjoy spending time with them (though you won't admit it, of course!) and that must be hard for the parents as well. Having James and Harry team up against Ron was just too much fun and what better way than to use the best weapon : bringing back the past to haunt him!!
I'm really touched by your nice words and thank you once again for this amazing review! Report Review
awesome I love it
totally mind blowingAuthor's Response: Thanks a lot, I'm glad you liked it! Report Review
Okay, trying this again here. So. Review the person above me take 2! :D
First off, HILARIOUS! I love where this is going, it's definitely the making for a mischievous and witty tale. I can definitely see it becoming an epic battle back and forth between the two families.
I did see a couple simple mistakes in there I'd like to point out to you:
1. 'James flooed at his godfather's place[...]'
I believe this sentence would flow better with a 'to' as opposed to the 'at'.
2. '[...]Ron said curiously as he got out the stuff to prepare diner.'
Simple typo here, dinner has two 'n' s silly! ;) haha!
3. 'The wizarding world really is abusing of those poor creature[...]'
Creature should be pluralised here to be creatures.
4. '[...]when he taught about it, amongst all his nephews and nieces,[...]'
I believe you meant thought here as opposed to taught.
5. I also noticed in there my first time reading this that you mention Kreacher, but you added a 't' in but his name has none. :)
I also love how you've given the next gen a little more depth. I see many stories where they have 'personalities' but they never seem to have actual interests. In this story you've got Rose who's all about social causes, James who likes comic books and girls etc. It really adds a unique touch to your story!
I can't wait to see where you take this!
Great work!Author's Response: Hi and thank you so much for this full review!!
This was one of my first stories and I never really went over it to correct the spelling errors and typos but this review just gave me the motivation to do it. Everyhing you pointed out will help me a lot through my review, especially the "dinner" word; I didn't know it was spelled like that in English (in French, it's with only one "n" so that's why it seemed correct to me).
I'm glad you liked my perspective on the next gen. It has changed a bit since I wrote that story but it's still pretty close to how I picture them. Thanks again for your help and your kind words, it made my day!! Report Review
hahaha gorgeous! I would love to see a sequel, and maybe Hermione's take on it. But it was awesome! :)Author's Response: That would be a good idea; let's just see if I can find the time to get to it. I'm really sorry this answer comes much late but life is crazy at the moment. It does not, however,means I did not appreciate your review; it just made my day. Thanks a lot for taking the time to review :) Report Review
hey! This was great! Ron was so funny and I liked James too. Harry's right, never take ron on in a game of chess! It was really well done! You're a really great author and the story was brilliant.
I'd be honoured if you'd review me; I'd love some advice from an author i admire so much!
Rosmione xxAuthor's Response: Sorry for the late, late response but life has gotten so crazy, I didn't have time to come around and sit down in front of my computer in weeks!
I'm glad you enjoyed this little piece and it was a lot of fun to write as well. Harry has got to have a least a couple good advice to give his son regarding Ron, right? And espescially when it comes to chess; Merlin knows he's lost enough at the hands of his best friend!!
Thanks for taking the time to review, I appreciate it a lot! Report Review
Hi. Tagging you from the Review the Person Above You thread in the Common Room.
Based on the author's note, I'm guessing that this is one of the earlier things you've written. The idea is solid, but the writing is noticeably rougher than some of your other work that I've read. I noticed a couple of typos, so just to get those out of the way:
- James now felt relax, in full control of the situation. - should be relaxed?
- Ron let go of a deep breath he had not even realise he was holding. - realised?
The dialog felt a little too rigid and formal, especially for James but also for Ron. This is pretty common in the first fic that most people write, and it's easily forgivable. It would read much better if you loosened everything up and peppered it with more colloquialisms and a bit of Brit-speak here and there.
SPEW was a very clever way for James to get back at Ron, and I also liked how Ron managed to turn it back on Harry at the end. Sounds like they're both going to be sacrificing some time for elvish welfare in the not too distant future.
Overall, a pretty nice outing for you. I'll keep an eye out for you in the thread!Author's Response: Sorry for the delay in response, real life got the best of me since Christmas and trying to write and read went first, before answring reviews...
Thank you so much for reading this and for the honesty. I'm actually really glad you commented on the quality of the writting; shows I improved! Victory!
I will get to those pesky typos immediatly, thanks for pointing them out! As for the dialogue, you are right as well, I should try to loosen up a bit in my dialogues and that comes back with every story, doesn't it? Goes to show that THIS is the next thing I should be working on in the next year! Thank you for fixing my new goal!!! Report Review
That is such a funny story!Author's Response: Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it! Report Review
That was so good! You had everyone in character perfectly, which is especially difficult with major canon characters. It was also very realistic; I could totally see this happening. I laughed so hard as soon as James mentioned SPEW. It was a very good prank indeed. Awesome work!Author's Response: Thanks so much for this review, glad you enjoyed my little story!
It is very difficult to characterize such major canon characters, especially when you have to imagine them as adults; the balance between the canon personality and the maturity one gains over time isn't always easy to find.
As for the prank, well, I didn't want it to be horrible or really mean, but playing on a man's worst memories seemed like a good scheme. After all, Ron had twenty years free of SPEW until it came back to haunt him!
Thanks again for the reivew, I appreciate it a lot! Report Review
I really enjoyed reading this story and I think that it was really clever and funny to bring back SPEW, especially against Ron. While he's married to Hermione, he really needs to watch what he says about that topic.
I think that your characterizations of Ron, James and Harry were very well done. Ron acted just like I thought he would in this situation- tricky and flustered. I imagine that Hermione had told him to clean the attic and he thought that the game of chess was the perfect way to get out of it. Harry and James' prank was great but they were no match for the brother of George and Fred!
I did notice a few little things that would be easy to fix if you so choose. To begin, with "his concentration was abruptly cut short", I don't think that "concentration" is the best word for what I think you're trying to say... Instead, I think that "reading time" or something along those lines would work better because I don't think that concentration can be cut short. As well, with "ask the looser", it should be "loser". And I wasn't quite sure what you meant when you said that James "instantly hoped on" Harry's smile... Did you mean "hopped on"? Finally, when Ginny says "turn out good", were you trying to show something about her character because grammatically it should be "well".
All in all, I think that you did a great job with this one-shot. It was quite funny and I especially enjoyed the last sentence. The prank got way out of Harry and James' hands and now they'll all be swamped by women complaining about the state of the house-elves. That definitely wasn't what Harry or James thought would happen. Not so fool-proof, now, is it? Great job!Author's Response: Thanks a lot for this nice review and for pointing out some of the errors in this piece!
This was my first one-shot (second story) and I never really went back to correct all the errors in it. Now that I have a banner, people seem more interested in this story so, I shall correct these things right now!
I'm glad you liked it though, and that you thought the characterization was alright. When it comes to cleaning the attic, that is exactly what I thought! That Hermione asked him and he found a way out of it!!
I'm glad you liked the ending; poor Harry will definitly have it come back to his face!
Thanks again for the review and I will go and correct things right now! Report Review
This was such a sweet little storyyy. I like revenge :) hahaha. anyway, SUCH and ingenious way for the revenge too. SPEW...ahh, brings back memories. And Ron was so in character-being the little chess maniac he is. James and Harry- nice father-son bonding time. Planning revenge is always a good way to bond :) This was portrayed nicely, I could imagine this happening :) Good job!
Merry Christmas! and Happy Holidays!Author's Response: Hello Santa! So happy to see you again!!!
I'm glad you enjoyed this story and thought it was in character. When I wrote this, I was thinking about what could annoy Ron the most and SPEW came back to mind instantly! He would have had over 20 years of break before it suddently came back to haunt him!
Thanks again for such a nice review, and Happy holidays to you too! Report Review
This was such a great one shot! It was nice to read such a fun story that didn't involve romance. I loved the relationship between Harry and James and it really seemed like the sort of thing they would do! You managed to flesh out the characters really well too, especially since it was only a one shot. I also thought it sounded really in character of Ron to bet with James about chess, and not decide what it was! There were a few typos here and there but apart from that great work!Author's Response: Thanks so much for this review, I'm all happy over here!!!
I am so bad at writting romance that I simply don't try! I don't really like reading it either so I can tell you that you are right, there are not a lot of stories that don't revolve around a love story or another!!
This was my very first one shot and I barely changed anything to it since I first wrote it so I'm glad you found my characterization was good. I will look out for the typos for sure, thanks for giving me the heads up! Report Review
I hope you don't mind that I reviewed this one and not Ronald's Box, that's the next one on my list if you want to continue swapping. :)
This was hysterical, the entire family now has to go along with SPEW, Rose made me laugh with how much she sounded like Hermione, and James was great my favorite line was the one with pie. Again, it's hard to tell that you're a beginner considering how well you write.
Also that guy you had play James (so CUTE!) *blushes.*Author's Response: Whould anyone really mind receiving such a nice review, no matter what story it's on? No, I really don't mind!
I'm glad you liked it! This was my very first one shot (second story) and I had a lot of fun writting it. James came out as a fun character to create and making Ron and Harry mature up a bit was interesting as well.
None the less, SPEW would most definitly always haunt Ron. At first, I made it end with James simply leaving but the idea to have Rose pick up on it would definitly annoy Ron the most!
Isn't he the cutest? Michael Seater just poped up as the perfect James not so long ago (that's why there wasn't a banner before). I accidently fell on this TV show once and it screamed at me that he was the perfect James! Report Review
Ah, SPEW. This was a really great one-shot - your characters were really well fleshed out, I really felt like they were believable and together they had great interactions. I liked how Harry stuck up for James, and it was funny how they knew that Rose would have a go at Ron. A neat idea, well executed :)
MarinaAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for this kind review!
This was my very first one-shot so I'm always happy when people review it! SPEW came naturally as an idea to annoy Ron the most! 20 years of break before it came back to haunt him, seemed like the perfect revenge!
Thanks again, I'm glad you enjoyed! Report Review
Aw this story was very good.
I loved the idea of Ron challenging James to a game of chess as everyone knows that you understood Harry's reaction. The idea of him having to clean the attic was also good because it didnt seem to be a fitting prize for Ron, I'd have expected something completely different!
I also love the fact that you've made Harry and James spend time together even though they've obviously grown apart because of James being a teenager! The idea of Ginny knowing what they were up to and disapproving was completely believable.
S.P.E.W is amazing! The idea of that being the revenge on Ron was a little twist as I was expecting it to be a little more dramatic but it was really effective.
Well done on this!Author's Response: Thank you so much for this lovely review.
When writting that, I tried to remember what it was like when I was 16; I didn't have much contact with my parents (my friends were SO muc more important!!!) and this is the kind of things that would bring a father and his child together (or so it did for me!!!).
I'm glad you found Ginny's reaction believable. The way I pictured it, she was probably just as happy as Harry that James was coming back to them, even if it was just for a little moment.
Glad you liked the plan! I thought that it would be the best thing to push Ron's buttons. 20 years free of SPEW and then it comes back to haunt him! I didn't want to go into anything dramatic, keep things fairplay and light is always my idea of a good prank.
Thanks again for the review! Report Review
MUHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAHHAHAH ! This is so brilliantly evil >:D I love this. I must tell you, I am being yelled at for leaving this reveiw, as I'm supposed to be off this laptop. IT'S AMAZING! I thought this was incredibly evil. And I like evil very muchly.
MUAHHAHAH!! 10/10 FOR THE EVIL WRITER!
I know. I leave such constructive critisism.
Childy x xAuthor's Response: AHAHAH, thank you so much for that review!
Evilness was definitly in the air when I wrote that. I though, what would annoy Ron the most and haunt him all his life? SPEW, definitly!
The evilness that involved getting you yelled at though, that was not part of the plan, but I am hapy it was worth that much!! Report Review
This was pretty silly lol I was kind of surprised at the detail James ended up going through, but it ended up suiting him, he had to give all those details to really put Ron in a corner. And Ron was brilliant handling it! lol that was what made everything so funny :)
I did find a couple spelling errors, like when you said "when he taught about it" it should be thought. There was something else too but I can't remember. Anyway, I thought this was really well done :)
good job!Author's Response: Thanks so much for your kind words and for pointing out the spelling mistake. I will check this out as soon as I have time!
I'm glad you thought it was funny and it was mostly Ron's actions that made it funny because this is really how I wanted it to be. I had fun writting James as a suck up to his godfather - and Ron would definitly love it. Thanks again! Report Review
Hello :) This is Keira7794 from the forums (GCR review the person above... :D ) :
Hehe this made me giggle :)
I like the idea of the plot and I can clearly imagine Harry and James planting revenge on Ron. It's the kind of relationship I envision them to have.
Just really quick spelling error, when Ginny and Lily enter, Ginny says 'Lily and you two James' - this should be 'too' instead of 'two'.
I would of loved to of seen (or read :P) Hermione's reaction to the mention of SPEW and that her daughter felt the same way?
Overall, I thought this was a great story that flowed really well and the characterisation was great :)Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review, I'm glad I made you giggle today!
I will check out the spelling error, thanks for the help!
As for the idea of seeing Hermione's reaction to the mention of SPEW, it would be possible to write it in; I can't believe I never thought about that! Thanks again, I'll try to make the improvement! Report Review
I absolutely loved this story! It was very humerous, amusing to read and just the right length.
You did a really good job with the characterization, particularly of Harry and Ron. You captured the nuances of Ron's personality so well. The relationships James had with Harry and Ron came accross really well also. Rose seems just like Hermione. I love that Harry and Ron can have a friendly rivalry like this.
This had a very flow and was easy to read. Great job!Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter and thought it was just long enough. It was meant as a ligth little story and I'm glad this is how it is perceived. Thanks again! Report Review
Hehe, this was hilarious. I love the plan that Harry and James came up with and I love how Ron is turning it around to get them back. It was very clever.
The characterisation of both Ron and Harry was spot on. Harry knew exactly what would make Ron most uncomfortable and his relationships with James is very authentic. Ron was great; his reaction to James question and how he dodged it was exactly like him. I like how you described him going from red to pale as the conversation continued.
There were a few little grammar issues through the story, little things like loved instead of loved or two instead of too. It's nothing major and can be easily picked up with another read through. Over all though, it is a nicely written story. It was witty and clever and a joy to read. I found myself completely hooked as I wanted to know what the plan was. Well done.Author's Response: Thank you so much for the kind words! This was my first one-shot ever so I was never all that secure about it (until I got a banner, it never got much of a reaction).
I will definitly look for the grammar issues. Like I said, my first eer story and English isn't my first language so I sometimes don't see them but I'll do my best!
Once again, thank you and I'm glad you found the plan was well executed!! Report Review
Oh, haha :P This was short and cute and just, made this huge grin stretch upon my face. Ron is so /evil/ :P! Harry likewise.
I like one-shots like this one that focus on family time and not on romance. It was really cute. I think you captured the relationship between the characters very well.
Sad to see, though, that James' plan falied. I suppose he should've tried to bring in Hermione in the plan too. :P
Lovely writing- a few typos that I noticed here and there, but nothing distracting. :) I really enjoyed it! :)Author's Response: Thank you so much for this lovely review! I'm glad you enjoyed my story and was able to skip over the typos I did... I will check into that as soon as possible, promiss! Thanks again for give me a smile! Report Review
Review Tag! Fellow Gryffie here! :D
This was a cute one-shot! I really liked how you added SPEW into the story, you got Ron's characterization spot-on. I kept laughing at the different colors he was changing and when James played to Ron's ego to try and get him to buckle down and join SPEW. The ending was clever, Ron's going to bring the Potters down with him, that's definitely something I could see him doing to get even with Harry.
I would have enjoyed a bit more though, perhaps a companion piece to this? Oh and you might want to read this over just once more, there were some small, very small, spelling errors, such as 'two' instead of 'too.' Nothing major! :DAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for this review, I'm blushing over here! I'm glad you liked the story and throught the characterization was alright.
Originaly, this story was only planned as a one-shot but since so many people request a companion piece, I'm starting to think about a possible idea to continue this in a good way (and not fail completly!).
Thanks again, I really appreciated this! Report Review
Really enjoyed the story. So funny and one of the best one-shots I've read in a while.
It ends just fine but I wouldn't mind more of it.Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing! I'm glad you enjoyed my little story and if it made you smile!
A lot of people have been asking for a second part to this story and I will be looking into that! Thanks again!! Report Review
I love it! So funny!
Maybe you could write sort of a companion story where Ron and Rose get back at Harry and/or James. If you wanted to have the companion story be a one-shot, you could end there. Or you could continue with the pranks, switching back and forth between the Weasleys and the Potters as they both learn when to tell if a prank war's gone too far.Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review, it made me really happy!
I wrote that as a strand alone but a lot of people are asking for the story to continue so, I'm thinking about it now! I wouldn't want to ruin this particular story though, by adding a really bad following chapter so I'll take my time and really think it through. Thanks again! Report Review
Well, that was really good, but are you going to continue this?
You really should, it has great potential for a hilarious story :)Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review; made me really happy!
I had not really considered continuing this story but a lot of people are asking for it so I'll be thinking into it for sure. Report Review
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