Wow! Although this was a very ambiguous fic that leaves a lot to the reader to fill in for themselves, this was brilliant and cleverly done. I was never entirely sure whether Hermione was writing a letter or whether it was just her stream of consciousness, which is probably part of the plan and if so, it was excellent. There was enough mystery to feel content but not frustrated.
You also presented the Next Gen in a very different way to how they're normally presented, as well as pairing Rose with Lysander which is very usual. It's great to see them as an 'imperfect' family despite all of their successes, and Hermione's sadness really came across in this.
This also opened a ton of unanswered questions that will never be answered - where is Harry? Why did he go? Is he actually dead? Etc. Like I said, it was just mysterious enough to not be frustrating but I do wish I knew the answers!
Anyway, this was really unusual and great. Loved it! Report Review
Oh, this story made my heart ache. ): Poor Hermione... there wasn't much imagery here but it was still so powerful, so well done.
There's not much more to be said about this, other than an extremely good job. I loved it and I teared up at the end, yes I did... I figured out what she was doing just a bit before it was 'revealed' and I had this sinking feeling. ): Poor Hermione!
So, so good. (:
-JasmineAuthor's Response: Hey Jasmine, sorry for the late response!
Hermione's story was really sad and depressing to tell, but in many ways, I thought that it was definitely a friendship story that showed the benefits of a lifelong friendship.
Thank you for the support!
- Celeste Report Review
REVIEW CHALLENGE #5.
This is beautiful. And I just know that this isn't going to be a constructive review. There's nothing I can say except how brilliant it is.
It's well written, with great flow, and I can really picture Hermione saying/thinking something like this to Harry. I'm interested to know how Harry died, and I have a lot of questions, but I like this is a stand alone fic, so I'm not going to say "RITE MOAR PLZ!".
This is my favourite bit "It's snowing and no one's anywhere." and I have no idea why. It just really stood out to me.
10/10 Well deserved I say :DAuthor's Response: Thank you for choosing this little story for your review challenge!
Wow, thank you. Really, I appreciate it a lot! And you're right, this really is a stand alone fic. The only way I could make it longer was if I added Ron's perspective to it. But Hermione's side of it is definitely at an end.
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it! =D Report Review
Oh my goodness, this was amazing! I just stumbled upon this in the story seekers thread and I'm so glad I did. You got the voice just right, I think; old friends, a little harried, wistful, reminiscent... Hermione always was the one that tried to keep their little trio together. This was just heart wrenching. I probably figured out about halfway through that Harry was dead in this story... It was "you shouldn't have gone first" that clued me in. It really did sound like Hermione talking to Harry. Let me guess; she was in the Godric's Hollow cemetery, standing where they stood together in DH, right?
Well I'm rambling, and I've taken off my reviewer hat; when it's a requested review, I try to find CC even in the best story. But now all I can do is ramble. Oh well. Either way, this was a great one shot, it had lots of character. It's certainly going on my favorites.Author's Response: Wow, thank you! And I didn't know my story was nominated for Story Seekers, so it's a double surprise here! Writing an older Hermione was certainly tricky...she had to be jaded, while still sounding like the fussy, bossy Hermione of the past.
And yes, that is exactly where I imagined it to be! However did you guess? :) I always pictured Harry, when buried, would be beside his parents.
Thank you for reading and for reviewing! ^___^ It means a lot! Report Review
Oh my god, this was heartbreakingly beautiful. I simply cannot stop crying, and I had to read it again because the tears just kept on coming and obscuring my view of the screen. The part when Hermione was thinking that he wasn't supposed to go first makes me bawl every time.
Okay, obviously I loved this. Not only was it very well written, it was also so honest and heartfelt. As much as I enjoy reading flowery descriptions and such, the simplicity with which you treated this piece was perfect. Hermione's voice was spot on, and you effectively took me into her mind whilst she was conversing with Harry, making me feel the full depth of her emotions. And boy was it intense. Every word was where it should be, and every pause was perfectly timed making for the most emotional one-shot that I have ever read. Ever.
But, the next time we'll meet, it'll be in another train compartment. You're already waiting, I know. I can almost see you - you're sitting in solitude - and I've yet to step inside. You're eleven - twelve? - and it'll just be a little longer. I'm almost there.
Somehow, you've managed to capture what I always thought death would be like. I don't know how, I don't know why, but this was exactly what I pictured it to be - a throwback to the best moments of one's life.
I'm still trying to piece back the broken mess that is my heart. And even though this has caused me much sadness, it is going straight to my favorites.
Wonderful doesn't even begin to describe what this was for me.
GillianAuthor's Response: Hi Gillian! 'Tis Celeste of the c-box here! :)
Wow, I made you cry?! That is a gigantic compliment! I really wasn't expecting anyone to cry, but I'm really, really pleased you liked it.
To be honest, I don't really know how to respond to this absolutely magnificent review, so I'll just continue blabbering my thanks. I'll completely humbled and grateful that you liked this little one-shot so much. So, thank you so much for reviewing this. It means the world. ^___^
- Celeste Report Review
This was beautiful.
I don't have much to say about it, and it will be a short review. But that's not because there isn't much to say about the piece in general - it's the fact there is TOO much to say, so much to gush about, and I have no criticisms for it. It's just me, a squeeing idiot.
I have to admit, I was a bit apprehensive at first because I didn't know if it would be a bit Harry/Hermione-centric - reading your author's note made me feel a lot better. Harry/Hermione tends to make me throw up in my mouth a little at just the thought, aha. So it was nice, for once, to be presented with the two only as a friendship. And what a beautiful portrayal it was, too. Absolutely stunning. You talked about the snow, and your writing was bleak and clean, so you could almost feel the bitter cold. But her words were full of warmth.
It really made me think about it for the first time - how hard it would be for the three of them if one of them died. They went through so much together. Not just like couples or friends going through any war - they were right at the centre of it. Nobody could understand how it was for them, save maybe Dumbledore being right in the middle of Grindelwald's war. You showed this so well, it made me feel so sad. To think about how it must be to lose this person who had become almost like a limb to them. I was happy to see Ron and Hermione still happily together, too, by the way.
I loved the way you began in such a chatty style too - it was refreshing and worked really well this way. You hold up Hermione's voice very strongly - especially the questioning of why she was even crying. All of that rung so true of Hermione. You work her very well. Utterly stunning piece!Author's Response: Wow!
No, you're not being a squeeing idiot. You're being absolutely lovely and anyone's dream reviewer.
Yeah, I really did feel more comfortable putting the no Harry/Hermione note in there. I feel perfectly at ease with that pairing, but I know why others don't. And I also felt like anybody interpreting this as a Harry/Hermione completely took away from my original intention for this story - to show the depth of their friendship.
Yes, that really was what I was going for! To show that after all those years, they became dependent on each other. Bleak and cold and bare is good. :)
And after taking Harry away from Hermione, I don't think I could bear to take Ron away as well.
Really, thank you so much for this review! I'm so, so pleased that you liked the story and it will forever join all the very special reviews that made me smile a lot. :D Report Review
So I'll try not to threaten you this time, and also can't promise a review of the length that I might normally give just because (a) it's you and I'd feel awkward, and (b) no CC means not much length.
I tell you what, I wouldn't have attributed this to you in a million years. That's not an insult at all, it's probably one of the biggest compliments I could give because this is a wonderful reflection on the variety of styles you're capable of writing. No frills and yet so emotionally charged. You never cease to amaze me.
I absolutely love the way you've written this as an address to Harry. Hermione's voice is absolutely spot on - as was discussed in the podcast, I think. She could have fallen out of the series and into this. That probably tells you that her characterisation is also bang on. You really have done a fantastic job with this.
Oh I wish I could leave you a properly constructive and sensible review but I love your writing far too much to bore you to death with my ramblings.
I love it.
xxAuthor's Response: Forgive my monstrously late review response! X___X
You know, several of my reviewers have said that it's unlike me. The truth of it is that I wrote it at 3 in the morning and I was just too exhausted to channel anything remotely floaty or flowery. And Hermione was so much easier to write than long lines of description!
Eeep, that's such a compliment! â¥ I'm not like Melanie, to whom the Trio just dance along with, but Hermione was definitely the easiest out of the three to try and channel. I guess it's because she's more serious than Ron. And I would never dream of writing a first-person Harry story!
Thank you so much, lovely! Getting your reviews seriously make me smile so much! :D Report Review
that was heartbreaking.
in a completely "i'm so in love with this story and your writing that it reduced me to tears when i figured it out" way.
it was great. So hermione, kept amazingly with her character! xxAuthor's Response: Aww, thank you! :) I'm so pleased you liked it! Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
Awww, Celeste. I started to cry. In a good way.
This is so very different for you, but it's so wonderful. And at the same time it is you, still just as beautiful as any piece chock full of poetic description. You're right. Too much description here just wouldn't work, it would seem over the top and silly. What you have it... well, heartbreaking for one. I think it's all the better, raw with emotion, without oodles of description.
Stream of conciousness can be hard to pull off, but this... This is gorgeous. Favouriting this RIGHT NOW.
I adore you and your beautiful stories. Someday, I want to see a chaptered fic from you. Twould be amazing.
ShilohAuthor's Response: Woah, thanks, Shiloh!
It is very different for me, isn't it? I didn't get to use fancy description and attack the reader with them. D: Raw emotion is very difficult for me to write, but yay, it came across!
Thank you for reviewing! xx And I do have a chaptered fic up, silly - my novella, The Sound of Silence.
You are lovely and amazing for reviewing! Report Review
Oh my God, Celeste. I am speechless. This was amazing. Wow, I'm actually close to tears - no exaggeration, that's how powerful this was.
xxAuthor's Response: Wow, Georgia. I am shocked. I'm so surprised (and glad) you liked it!
Thank you! ^_^ Report Review
I am dying from the gorgeousness of this! You were quite right to keep it simple - too much flowery description would not suit Hermione at all. But even it's simplicity, it's beautiful. It's very honest, which is where its appeal lies.
I didn't work out that Harry was dead until maybe halfway through it - because Hermione was talking as if to an old friend standing right there with her.
The emotions in this are so palpable. And the angst is lovely because it focuses on a kind of longing and nostalgia that nobody really writes about - that of aging, losing friends through death, remembering one's glory days, etc. And you can really feel Hermione's love (the friendship kind of love) for Harry. Particularly when she says he shouldn't have been the first to go. That was so beautiful. Because Harry was a true hero and a champion, and therefore there's something about him that seems so invincible and indestructible - and something very unfair about him being taken from the world, no matter what his age.
And the part about meeting again in a train compartment! In some instances, that could have the potential to be a bit cheesy (though I like cheesy things, so I would have loved it regardless) - but anyway, I think the fact that you're writing this in such a straightforward, Hermione-ish way, counteracts anything that might normally be too over-the-top.
And now that I've babbled on about all of the lovely angst, allow me to share with you a humorous tidbit about my reading experience. I'm reading/reviewing this during the HPFF April Fool's Day site change, so it still has all the images replacing words and everything.
So as I'm reading, I get to a line that reads, "Honestly, half the family must think I'm crazy, bananaering off right before dinner." And I'm sitting here thinking, "What the heck does 'bananering off' mean??" It made me laugh, because it sounded so hilarious, but I thought perhaps it was a funny slang term meaning that someone is wandering around in a slightly crazy sort of way.
But no. It's still during the site change, and as you'll remember, the HPFF staff changed the word "wand" to "banana" all over the place...even when "wand" appears within a larger word such as "wandering."
So "wandering" becomes "bananering." XD
I'm still laughing about it. First of all, I actually thought "bananaering" was a word! And second of all...I'm totally going to continue using the word "bananaering" as a verb. And every time I use it, I'll automatically think of you! :)
PS - Fabulous work, once again!Author's Response: MELANIE!
Wow, where do I start with this gorgeous (and gigantic) review? I was definitely trying out simplicity here with Hermione, since I thought it suited her emotion the most.
In my mind, Hermione was talking to Harry mentally as she was standing by his grave. I guess that's why she was speaking as though he was right there. I didn't want to let the location slip as that would've been too obvious, but I'm glad you caught on! :D
This was so out of my realm. o__o I'm normally used to Romance. I've done some experimenting with friendship, but never with Harry or Hermione. Their relationship is so long standing and so deep, I was seriously scared to touch it. Friendship-love is definitely what I was going for! :]
Okay, the train compartment part, looking back, is really cheesy. XD I wrote this late at night and couldn't think at all and didn't bother rereading as I was too tired. I just needed some kind of metaphor for Hermione's hope that they would meet again, since I felt like that was a normal wish to have and I wanted to elude to her age.
Lol - "bananaering"?!
That is a cute sort of word, isn't it? It brings to mind the image of a cute kitten for me. Haha, I can't believe you thought I'd honestly use that kind of word for Hermione! XD
I'm highly curious to see how you'll use this word! :D
Thank you for reviewing! â¥ I love this review and it shall take it's place among my favorite reviews. And I shall feed it and hug it and name it Martin and it shall be my Martin. :D
Aww very sweet :) good plot development I like having to figure stuff out.Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it! ^___^ Report Review
I loved this.
That's the long and short of it, really. It was oh-so-very Hermione, yet you put your own spin on it. Absolute perfection! And I'm not going to lie - there were tears in my eyes once I figured out what was going on, which, surprisingly, took me a while. Dunno why, but it did. Also, it didn't help that I was listening to a sad song as I read this, but yeah, lol.
Just...wow. You never cease to amaze me. I agree with Jo: GO FOR PRODIGAL!Author's Response: You are too nice, Molly.
Really, I don't deserve this in the least. But this review made me smile so much! *snuggles review*
I'm so pleased you thought Hermione was in character. Not surprisingly, it proved nearly impossible to write her emotional side while still keeping her the bossy know-it-all.
I did apply for Prodigal, mostly because Jo blackmailed me. It'll be a miracle if i get it. o.o
Thanks so much for reviewing, Molly! I appreciate it!
- Celeste Report Review
This is beautiful. Brought tears to my eyes, :) I love it, that's all I have to say.Author's Response: You are lovely. :) Thank you so much! Report Review
You are ridiculous, you know that? Ridiculously talented, modest, delusional, the whole shebang.
I don't read Trio fics. It's in my rules in my review thread. But since stalking your author page has proved delightful in the past, and the summary lovely, I took a chance.
It's gorgeous. Really. I will admit I twigged on quite soon as to what was going on (the AN gives it away, not entirely sure it is necessary as you have the ship in summary) but it was simply heartbreaking and emotional and I loved it to pieces. The length only makes it more powerful.
That is All
xxAuthor's Response: You are far more ridiculous, Jo. And definitely partially insane (but who at TGS isn't? :P). I don't deserve any of those compliments.
Thank you for giving this oddball a chance! Darn. The Author's Note gave it away?! I shall fix that...soon. Actually, it was going to have a different ending which echoed Harry/Hermione, which is why I put the note in there. I guess I forgot to take it out when I was editing. Huh. :|
You are silly. And I'm only doing so because you're bullying me into it and because I don't want you to throw away your chance. :/
Thanks for reviewing, Jo! Ã¢ÂÂ¥
- Celeste Report Review
Ahh Celeste, this was fantastic! (Of course :P)
I think I realised about a quarter of the way through what this was about, and it certainly was a heartbreaking realisation. The characters were drawn to perfection- every thought of Hermione's felt 100% natural to the book. She really came alive and stepped out of the page. The mood of her thoughts was also completely fitting to the occasion.
I especially loved the subtle or not so subtle hints you added to some sort of history. Rose getting married to Lysander, and the line about Rose not speaking much to Hermione anymore was heart breaking in it's own way.
This really proves that your description, while gorgeous, is not all there is to your writing (I never felt that before, but this is by far the least description saturated of the stories of yours that I have read). It was completely character and plot driven, yet somehow it felt even richer than your normal stories. The emotional intensity was so strong, I felt that any description could have ruined it,
Dear god, I really am rambling. Your work tends to do that to me :P. Let's just say that I loved this, and this will take its place amongst my favourite one shots.
Becca xAuthor's Response: Becca!
Thank you for reviewing! (And ignoring the 'of course' bit there - you know how I take those kinds of comments :P). Your comment about Hermione had me grinning. She was so hard to write! I'm glad she didn't come out completely distorted!
Ah, Rose. I've heard it happening to some people and I thought I'd incorporate that parent-child distance with Rose and Hermione. Originally, I was going to slip in ScoRose, but my love of Rysander took its lead!
Yes! You got my logic of no description behind this piece! If I had put in description, I would've slipped into a Celeste-style description, rambling about the wind and such, and that would've been completely OOC for Hermione, who was entirely focused on Harry.
Thank you, Becca! I'm not sure why I received such kind words, but I love this review! -hugs-
Short and sweet. I like it.
-IcaAuthor's Response: Thanks so much! :D Report Review
I really liked this - although it took me a little bit to catch on - that made it better actually. Very nice job!Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked it! ^__^ Report Review
Hehe, relieved that it was Hermione/Ron. Because I adore them so, and don't worry. To me it didn't seem to suggest Ron/Hermione. Because I can know what it's like to be missing a friend and it is something like this.
You think about them, you want to talk to them, but they're gone. You wonder if you'll see them again and you think about when you will.
I really like the Hermione you presented here. It's a lot different than the Hermione's most people paint. She isn't bossy or fighting with Ron, she's missing an old friend.
I think that you managed to portray that well.
Don't worry, late time writings happen to the best of us, I think, but this is coherent and it makes sense.
I like how she reminisces of her days at Hogwarts with Ron and Harry. It's a bit basic and bare bones, but I do like the emotion expressed in this.
The flow, as always, was fantastic. You have a way of pulling readers without giving the entire idea away a summary or starting paragraph. Though, your structure has a lot of brevity and terseness; I feel like you still manage to capture a lot of feeling in your pieces.
Nice work!Author's Response: Hey, sorry for the late response!
I really adore your reviews. Every time I see your penname, I smile a bit. They always brighten up my day. :)
Hermione was tricky to write. I'm glad she came out decently! I had to keep that emotional side of her visible, while still showing that she was the same Hermione who bossed around Ron and Harry.
It is definitely bare bones and basic, but I wanted to keep it as simple and as raw as possible. I think if I'd fleshed out Hermione or the setting too much, I might have taken away from the emotion.
Thank you s much! As always, I love hearing from you! :D
- Celeste Report Review
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