There a lot of little mistakes like "brinbging" and "hermine" and etc. Just watch out for them.
Why did she want Viktor to see her jump? And it's a little confusing that you say he sees her "fall" since really she was trying to commit suicide...
Very interesting. It was really cool. The idea is really cool. I feel like it could be more than just a one-shot though. But I liked it. It was good.Author's Response: Okay... that was typed at my dad's.. he hasn't got Mirosoft Word, and I had to use Word Pad, and so therefore it didn't red underline my mistakes, and my dads keyboard is like from the '80's I think... So sorry.. but yes, I do believe I WIL make a sequel to it if you like! ^_^ Thanks for the feedback! Report Review
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