You're doing pretty good so far but there are a few grammatical and spelling errors in your chapters. Nothing horrible, just make sure to keep a look out for them. And I hate to be too critical but another thing about your story so far is that it just doesn't flow as well as it could. It's good just not flawless. One specific suggestion I have is that, in the future, when you're introducing characters like you did with her friends, don't write Kelsey (Kels) but instead just put Kelsey and then in dialogue have a different character refer to her as Kels. It's a very little thing, but it does kind of make a story move a bit better. It makes it look more mature.
I'll be nice now :). I do like the ideas you've got going right now. I've always been a sucker for those Upper East Side girls. And so far she's not coming off as overdone, so it's working right now, but be careful because it can get cliche quickly and I'd hate for that to happen to your story.Author's Response: haha, thanks! i really appreciate all the feedback because now i'll actually go and make it better...
thanks again! Report Review
ahhh! i am enjoying!Author's Response: thanks, i'm really glad you like it!!! Report Review
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