Reading Reviews for Caprice
456 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Pretense Of Perfection Enough

19th June 2014:
Another good chapter!

Maybe because this is the first one from Sirius' POV, but I feel like his admission to his feelings for Capri might be a little rushed. He's obviously drunk as well, but it just felt slightly unnatural to me.

The party on the other hand strikes me as the type of party that would really get Hogwarts going! I can totally see Sirius and James sneaaking to the Leaky Cauldron to convince Rosmerta to sell them alcohol. I've always imagined this was probably how they pulled it off, considering she as only supposed to be a few years older than they were, according to canon at least. I loved her character!!

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Review #2, by Pretense Of Perfection September

19th June 2014:
Since I've read through the first few chapters, I figured it was time for me to stop by and review.

Caprice is a very interesting character so far! I've grown to like her. I honestly thought that the first three chapters were a bit...strange, from when she was eleven, and then it just fast forwards a few years. I understand that it was important to the plot, but perhaps we could've seen some of those events in flashbacks from the present day or something? Just my opinion.

I really like how you made up new Hogwarts classes, and they fit really well with the school as a whole. I'm generally a stickler for canon, but it was so well done I can't even be upset. I loved it!

Sirius and Caprice living next door to each other is super intense. I feel so bad for her, loving him while she watches him love someone else. It's so typical of teenage life, I remember that heartache well.

Keep up the good work!! Do you have a beta by chance? They're so invaluable to better your writing skills, I can't even stress it. I have several myself (:

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Review #3, by Neha The Great Game

21st November 2013:
story is great..plz update soon

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Review #4, by DracoFerret11 The Great Game

15th July 2013:
Hello there! This is DarkRose from the forums! I don't know if you remember, but I've been following this story for a while. It's taken me forever to read this chapter, but here I am! :D So, let's go over things:

Amazing Lines: Okay...there's a huge list of lines that just wrenched at my heart. they are:
~"Still when our eyes met I knew she was hurting, and she knew I could tell. And we both knew there wasn't anything we could do or say to make it better." --This was so splendid. So perfect.
~"She makes me and breaks me and she has no sodding clue."
~Oh, just the entire nickname conversation was wonderful. I loved it. So funny. :)
~"But it was real life. There was no rain and the pain was as evident upon her face as it was unmistakably etched on mine."--THE FELS!
~"The silence between us however rang louder than any thunder could hope to."--Beautiful.
~"Like reading and washing your hair..." I paused to give him another sneering once-over, "or just reading."--hilarious!

Plot: Okay! So, this was an incredibly long chapter. :) I really liked that it moved from the past forward and that we got different points of view. I liked seeing everything that Capri went through trying to decide if she should join the Quidditch team. And the nickname conversation! HILARIOUS. I loved it. :) I've never read a Marauders story that actually dealt with how they chose their names. So good! And everything with James and Lily! It was surprising to me that he didn't just cave and admit his feelings, but I thought the way you wrote it was so much better. I liked that he showed how hurt he was. I felt so sorry for him...

Characterization: Everyone was perfect. Absolutely perfect. Yours is my favorite Marauders story ever. :) I loved Capri in all her scenes. She's so strong, but she isn't perfect and I adore that. And poor James! I felt awful for him when he and Lily were arguing and even worse when she tried to apologize. He's still hurt. She can't just wave her wand and fix that. And Snape! Oh my gosh, Snape! I really, really liked how you wrote for him. I feel so bad for him...which is saying something because I don't even LIKE Snape. Of course, Sirius, Peter, and Remus were all wonderful as well.

Descriptions: I don't even remember if there were a lot of details, but I don't even care. I'm certain this chapter was a 10/10. :) If there were places to add in more details about how things looked, sounded, smelled, felt, etc., I know you'll find them. :D

Emotions: AHHH, the feels! Those moments between James and Lily were so sad. I felt awful for him. Part of me was shouting, "TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL!" but the other part just wanted him to let her know how much she hurts him. Because it's not okay and he has every right to be happy. And then the conversation with Snape. Ughhh. I was so sad for him, even though I don't like him. It was still emotional.

Interactions: Loved every moment between James and Lily, as I mentioned. And the cute little conversation about their nicknames made me laugh so much. There actually wasn't too much Capri in this chapter, but she's still one of the best OCs I've ever read. Hmmm...I thought it was interesting that you made James a Seeker to begin with! Clever way of explaining that movie-error. :) And the Snape conversation...really, I thought it was great. Amazing job making me like a character I'm not fond of.

Style: Beautiful, perfect, amazing. The same things I always say. :D

Flow: I thought it was cool that you added in some flashbacks so that we could see how Capri joined the team. I like that she really encouraged everyone when they thought their chances against Ravenclaw were ruined. She's got a leader's spirit. I just want her to be with Sirius... :( I'm impatient. ;) But anyhow, flow was great. It worked, even with the multiple POV changes and time changes.

As always, another brilliant chapter. Fantastic job! Keep up the amazing work!


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Review #5, by Bertie Botts Beans The Great Game

22nd January 2013:
Amazing story! 10/10! Please update quickly, I've been waiting FOREVER for a new chapter! :D

Author's Response: Aw, thank you very much hun! I'm sincerely very sorry for the long delay in getting the new chapter published. Work, classes and life take over from time to time. Will get the next one out asap.

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Review #6, by Amira The Great Game

15th January 2013:
Hello you! ;)
I love this chapter! :) You're a fantastic author; write a book and I'll buy it. :D
I have to admit, I haven't finished reading the whole story, yet. I wanted to find out if it's good - then I couldn't stop reading. And I couldn't wait to tell you how much I like it. :D
First, I love your humor. It's fun to read the chapter, expecially the origin of the nicknames is pictured so well. "Moony, Wormtail, Fluffy-feet and Prongs proudly present the Marauder's map" - sounds much better than the orginal version. :D
Second, I think you manage to write realistically. James is both cute and a prat - and Sirius, too. :D I especially like it how you picture James' and Lily's relationship. It's not all fluffy like the common portrayal.
Third, the flashbacks are very nice! There are so many fanfiction writers who have no idea how to use them ...
I'll try to catch up the chapters I skipped as soon as possible. :D
Go on like this!


Author's Response: My dearest Amira :) Thank you so very much for taking the time to review and saying such wonderful things about this story. I'm really glad you liked the chapters and the story. I was quite young and inexperienced when I started this story but I hope I've improved since then. Thank you SO MUCH! you have no idea how reviews like this fuels me to write more :) :)
Glad you liked James, Fluffy-feet and Lily. They'll be interacting more often in the future chapters. Hope you keep reading!
Thanks again.

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Review #7, by Tanni The Great Game

9th January 2013:
More more more!!! I think having multiple character points of view really allows the story to expand in personality. I need more!!!

please :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much Tanni :) More coming as soon as the chapter is done!

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Review #8, by I_Fart_Patronuses Enough

2nd January 2013:

Author's Response: :D thank you so much!

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Review #9, by Lin The Great Game

24th December 2012:
I wish there was a 9.5... Really good story, though. Not sure that Sirius would fall in love, he was quite the playboy apparently, but I love the way you chose to represent him. Great job with the Jily as well.
Keep it up!
Linda M.

Author's Response: Thank you very much Linda, I hope you keep reading :)

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Review #10, by your loyal reader :) The Great Game

19th December 2012:
love this chapter from beginning to end keeep it up pleasee cant wait for the rest...

Author's Response: Thank you so much dear :) It means so much to me. *hugs*

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Review #11, by reverie Life at 11

21st July 2012:
Hey there! It's your fellow Gryffie from the common rooms.

I think this story has potential. It's definitely interesting to end the chapter like that, because the fact that she's Sirius' neighbour is an original twist.

However, I feel that you could really benefit from re-reading this chapter. It's the first chapter of your story, which means it needs to be something very eye-catching. It's quite a small chapter, so I think it'll be easy to correct any mistakes in it. Send me a PM if you're looking for anyone to beta this particular chapter :)

Okay, don't take this the wrong way, but I think this chapter, excluding the end, was droning on. You're also telling the reader all this stuff that doesn't transition well. For example, in one paragraph, you're talking about the girl's father, then suddenly you switch to her pets. The connection here is that she feels lonely without her father because she doesn't have many friends i.e her only friends are her pets. You've forgotten to mention the middle. You've said that she hardly sees her father and that her only friends are her pets, but you've forgotten to mention the rest which would tie the whole paragraph together.

I hope this review wasn't harsh, I really think this story has potential!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your thoughts and input. This chapter was my first serious attempt at writing a fic so yeah it has many faults and I've tried to rectify that without loosing too much of the first edit (simply for sentimental reasons)

I'll try and add a few more details to help with the flow. Thanks again.

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Review #12, by doglover Beacon of Hope

19th July 2012:
thank goodness! finally they broke up!!!

Author's Response: LOL Well they both still have roles to play :) Stay tuned.

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Review #13, by doglover The Weasel

19th July 2012:
wow. sirius is being obnoxious!

Author's Response: LOL sort of the point of the chapter :P

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Review #14, by hpfanno1 Beacon of Hope

14th July 2012:
thank goodness pads is back! the "new" sirius was annoying the hell out of me...
and jason... well lets just say that if cappie ever get back with the git, then she deserves a good bashing as well.
loved the party sequence!
and there was quite a LOT of character development in this chapter..
let's just say it was worth the wait!
update soon!

Author's Response: The 'new' Sirius was supposed to be annoying and wanting people to hurl things at him :P I'm glad you think it's worth the wait. Hope you like the new chapter :)

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Review #15, by TabithaRose Beacon of Hope

30th June 2012:
AH! You must continue!!! I seriously joined just to write you a review. I've read all 18 chapters today and it is so amazing. Please hurry with the next chapter!

Author's Response: Wow! Such a love for this story? Thank you SO MUCH! I will be continuing. I'm so glad you enjoyed it so far :) Thanks again!

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Review #16, by Urgh Beacon of Hope

27th June 2012:
I wonder if Capri is going to realize she's just as much of a child as Jason was anytime soon. Or that Sirius was right. OR that cutting Sirius out was stupid and so not worth it.
Basically I do not like Caprice all that much right now

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for reading this far. Capri is still a 15 yr old girl so obviously she is still a kid in many ways. She's learning and making mistakes like we all do. Jason was a mistake she didn't anticipate and although she believes that she pushed Sirius away because he couldn't handle Jason, if you look closely I think you'll see she did it more for herself because she couldn't be his friend without being constantly hurt, she loved him too much and not being with him was breaking her apart. So she unconsciously made a decision to get some space and move on with Jason who at the time seemed perfect.
However things aren't over for any of them. Sirius is falling for Capri and Capri is on unsure footing going through a break up with her closest friend pushed to the side and only Nora to be her support. Jason also still has a big role to play. It's definitely not the end of him.
I understand that you're not a fan of Capri right now, but I still wish you would give her a chance.
Anyway, hope you read and enjoy the rest of the story.

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Review #17, by Hope's Mom Beacon of Hope

26th June 2012:
That was some party - lucky Nora! Cappie and Jason's fight was awful but I am not sorry to see them broken up. Sirius and Cappie seem to be on the way to be at least friends again. At least I hope so. Thanks for a great update!

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks so much for reviewing again :) I'm glad you liked it and I hope you keep reading, Sirius and Cappie's lives are about to intertwine in a big way.

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Review #18, by DracoFerret11 Beacon of Hope

26th June 2012:
Hey there, it's Emily again. :] This was another beautiful, wonderful, heartbreaking chapters. I loved it unconditionally.

Characterization: Cappie was spectacular in this chapter. I love how strong-willed she is, especially when it comes to Sirius. He's her friend, and he always will be, but she doesn't just let him off the hook when he messes up. But her vulnerability at the end of the chapter was really just flawless. I could have cried. And Sirius himself! He's such a sweetheart. He loves her. He really does, and right now he's doing what's best for her and I love him for that.

Descriptions: You did such a beautiful job of describing the party. I really felt like I was there. You've hit the nail on the head with this one. :D

Emotions: I could have cried when Sirius realized he loves her. And then when they didn't get a chance to talk about it! I was so sad...AND THAT FIGHT WITH JASON! I could feel the blood boiling. It was very intense.

Plot: I absolutely love this story, as you know. I think you did a wonderful job with this chapter. I loved the party-idea, and that you had it "checked with McGonagall" first. That makes it quite unique from the more farfetched plots that involve elaborate parties. I loved how Nora got her moment, and I ADORED how Sirius figured himself out. I knew it was the "real him" in the last chapter! And he and Cappie dancing! Awww! And then stupid Jason has to come and mess everything up! UGH. I hate him. :P GOOD THING IT LOOKS LIKE HE'S FINALLY GONE! WOH!

Interactions: Loved the reforming of Cappie and Sirius's friendship. It was subtle, but it was beautiful. I think you really handled it well. And I really liked how nice Sirius is to Nora. And the intensity of the fight between Capri and Jason was just tangible. Really, you did wonderfully.

I'm just obnoxiously full of compliments it seems...but the point is that this was another great chapter. Really well done!


Author's Response: I have no excuses for my tardiness other than an extremely busy schedule and exams. I hope that suffices :S

Anyway Emily I love your review (LOVE IT) as I always do! All that wonderful praise and love for this story, it came at a time I needed motivation and I cannot thank you enough! It's spectacular how you can make someone feel that their work is appreciated so much with the words you say :) *hugs* I love you for this really! I cant thank you enough!

Thank you so so much for being a constant support :)

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Review #19, by NadineS Beacon of Hope

25th June 2012:
Yaaay, she finally got rid of him! :)) I saw in your reply that he will still play a big role in the story, so I am curious about that :)
It's nice to see that Sirius is still so caring, even after his display in previous chapter. I really hope he won't show that side of him anymore :)) Though, I believe he will, because of Jason and the fact that he was right about him.
Please try to update more often? O:)

Author's Response: Hahha yes, Jason and Capri have hit rock bottom indeed. And yes Jason still has a big role to play. Thing about this story is that while Capri is unpredictable true to her name, Sirius is just as unpredictable :/ so we never know, well I know :P but you know what I'm saying haha.
I will try to update soon! Thanks for coming back and thank you so much for reviewing!

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Review #20, by bookworm_hermione Beacon of Hope

24th June 2012:
happy dance, happy dance, happy dance =)
i've been waiting like FOREVER for this chapter
Love it by the way
After this chapter, i have concluded that Jason. is. a. git.

Author's Response: I know I know! :/ I'm so so sorry about the late update it's just that I sort of 'lost it' with the characters and the plot, so i wrote like five different versions of this and messed around with the time line I had planned for the events and after SO MUCH writing and re-writing and editing and re-editing here it is. finally!
I'm so glad you didn't abandon this story though, i noticed i lost a few favourites and even some reviews! :/ but I guess you cant have everying. Now I'm rambling.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING BACK :) after such a long time.
Jason still has a big role to play so I hope you keep reading and as always tell me what you think. Thanks for being the first to review this chappie. xx till next time.

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Review #21, by angel_speaks Belonged

18th June 2012:
The chapters were very well written with minor grammatical errors (just a few missing commas here and there, nothing too noticeable).

The characterization incorporated into the story was well- written the audience can really catch who the person is and "meshes" with the story. Therefore, your story flows well and consistently throughout the chapters that i've read. Good job!!! I'm looking forward to continuing on with reading this as it did hold my attention.

Happy Writing! 10/10

Author's Response: Hey thank you so much for reviewing. I'm working on getting the technical issues sorted, well I've been working on it forever, always plan to get a beta today, and then tomorrow and a year later here I am. :P
Anyway Thank you so much for your time and I will definitely be rerequesting soon :)

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Review #22, by DracoFerret11 The Weasel

22nd May 2012:

Grammar/Spelling: There were a few issues with spelling/grammar, but nothing chapter-killing. You can probably catch the mistakes if you do a quick read through.

Characterization: I HATE THIS SIRIUS. I HATE HIM SO MUCH! UGH. You have no idea how angry I am with him right now. I can't stand how he's behaving. I definitely wasn't expecting this. I'm SO on Capri's side now. She can beat him senseless and I won't care. Part of me hopes this isn't even Sirius. They ARE brewing Polyjuice, after all...maybe someone stole some. I doubt it.

Descriptions: I think you did well enough to let this chapter translate. I got enough to know what was going on. I'm still furious with Sirius. Ugh.

Emotions: Well...I feel frustration. So, I think that's what Caprice is feeling. So...well-translated. I'm furious with Sirius. He's such a pig all of the sudden! UGHHH. (Do you feel my anger? 'Cause I don't think I'm hiding it too well...)

Plot: WHAT THE HECK? Sirius is NOT like this! He can't do this. It'll ruin everything! This was a well-written chapter, as always, but I'm still upset at how things are going now. :/ Though, I LOVED the line, "Sometimes pieces of our world crash down so fast it feels for a moment as if youíre free falling through space. Where gravity still has no hold on you and reality is a bleak horizon you can choose not to believe in. Only for a moment..." Very good job. I feel really bad for what Caprice has to go through now, with Sirius being crazy.

Interactions: Ugh. Sirius. The Quidditch training scene made me want to punch him in the face. He was so rude to Cappie. And if that Mia girl really tells Jason that this was Cappie's fault, I'm going to be really upset. I feel so bad for Caprice. If Jason ditches her right now, it'll just make things that much worse. I don't even LIKE Jason, but now he's one of Cappie's only supports.

Pacing: Well, the plot took a curve again! I can't believe that Sirius is acting like this. I'm so frustrated. I wonder how things are going to ever improve after this. :/

Well done, again. And thank you so much for mentioning me in your dedication! :] I'm really touched. Please come back to the review thread and request again once you've updated. I would love to read more. :D


Author's Response: I LOVE that your frustration and anger is showing in practically every single line! haha don't fret my dear, you'll see Sirius be more himself in the future chapters.

Also not all people have healthy ways of dealing with issues. I suppose I thought it was pretty realistic for Sirius to be a world-class jerk when things weren't going his way and he clearly wasn't getting the girl (although this is not going to help at all!) So by all mean take a bat to his head but just know that the situation is temporary and someone will knock sense into him preferably without scarring him permanently :)

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Review #23, by DracoFerret11 Benefit of a Friend

22nd May 2012:'s me again. This chapter was just...I have no words. I'm going to think of some, but right now...I feel like crying. I feel like crying so, so much. Let's start with simple things and then move to other thoughts:

Grammar/Spelling: I noticed a few grammar errors (like once you used "you're" instead of "your"), but other than that, I didn't see anything too awful.

Characterization: So much happened in this chapter. Let's start with the easy ones--as always, I love the Marauders. I feel really bad for Remus. He's having such a hard time. Peter's quite good, too. I love that you haven't ignored him. He's actually pretty sweet. And James is wonderful. I was surprised to see that he hasn't told his friends about how much he loves Lily. I would have thought he would be asking them ways to convince her to be with him. But he was so sad when Sirius was talking about Lily. His embarassment and sadness really gave him depth. It was great.

Now, Sirius and Caprice. This story always strikes me during chapters like this one. Sirius was absolutely wonderful, as always. His friendship with Caprice is so amazing. He just...he loves her so much. And he puts her first, even though it hurts him. And My emotions are so vivid right now. It's so sad. He's the nicest character ever, and he's hurting because of her. And she's not fixing it. And that's just depressing.

Caprice is wonderful as well. I'm glad you mentioned that she was conflicted in that moment where she felt like kissing Sirius, but remembers Jason. JASON: GTFO. SERIOUSLY. Moving on: I really love your characters, all of them. And Caprice just...she needs to get with Sirius. He WILL treat her right. I know he will. And I'm so sad right now!

Emotions: EMOTIONS. YES. THOSE THINGS. PAIN. SADNESS. Okay...but really, I loved how much this chapter made me feel. I think you did an amazing job of translating everyone's emotions, from Remus's amazing friendship with Sirius to Sirius's sadness when it comes to Cappie and how he can't be with her. I just...I felt everything and it was wonderful. You did a terrific job.

Plot: Why aren't they together? :'[ Tears. But I love the plot development. You're doing wonderfully in showing the suspense and emotions of all the characters. I wish Caprice and Sirius were together, but I understand why they aren't yet. :/ Great job with pacing. Wonderful job with flow, especially with switching between points of view. I like that you've brought the war into the story. Good job.

Interactions: These are, by far, the best part of the story. I love that I can see the friendships between everyone. I ADORE the interaction between Sirius and Remus, and I really liked the conversation between Sirius and Capri, even though it made me want to cry. Overall, though, you did a really amazing job, as always. I love what you're doing with this story.

This was an absolutely wonderful chapter. You impress me with how realistic these emotions are. I'll read more soon, after I stop feeling like crying.


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Review #24, by DracoFerret11 Black Christmas

21st May 2012:
Me again, dear. :]

Continuity: At this point, the boys are only fifteen. I can understand if they've learned to apparate (I'm not sure the Ministry has controls on that), but they wouldn't be able to do magic (like when Peter uses the "Alohomora") outside of school. The Trace is still on them, so the Ministry would know and they'd be in deep trouble.

Characterization: Caprice isn't brave anymore, haha. She's TERRIFIED of Reg. Whose characterization I'm not sure of. I understand that he's not a nice kid, but he's fourteen right now. He didn't join the Death Eaters until he was sixteen, and nobody knew about the Horcruxes, so why does he think that locket is important? (I might be getting weighed down in canon, haha) Anywayyy. I love the Marauders. I like that you touched on the fact that none of them considered just how serious Remus's transformations were until they saw them. Well done.

Descriptions: I think you did beautifully the whole chapter. The scene at the beginning was very dramatic, then the Marauders part was incredibly detailed. Great job.

Emotions: I really felt Caprice's fear of Regulus at the beginning. Very evident. And I felt the Marauders disappointment when their plans didn't go exactly as they wanted. The emotions brought things to life. I liked them a lot.

Plot: WELL. I'm interested to see what's going on with Regulus and Sirius! And for goodness sake! That Jason guy needs to gtfo. Srsly. Haha, but really: I don't like him. I want him to go away so Sirius can have Caprice and they can be together like they're supposed to be!

Interactions: Awesome interaction between the Black brothers and then the Marauders later on. I love that you aren't ignoring Peter or making him a creepy weirdo. I hate when Marauders-Era stories do that. He was their FRIEND. And you're portraying that wonderfully. You did, however, fall into the cliche about Remus always eating chocolate, haha.

You're doing wonderfully. I'll review again soon. Keep up the great work!


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Review #25, by DracoFerret11 Miles from Normal

21st May 2012:
Hey, it's me again! This was such a beautiful chapter. I'm really touched by how sweet it is. I just...I have no words. This was wonderful.

Characterization: Caprice was BRAVE in this chapter! Wow, Gryffindor qualities! I actually really liked it. And I loved Lily's bravery too. Well done. I think that Sirius is the best friend ever. His characterization brings tears to my eyes. I absolutely love how you portray him.

Descriptions: This chapter was just jam-packed with action and you really brought it to life. I could feel everything that was happening and see it all. It was dramatic and scary and wonderful. You did a great job.

Emotions: Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. I've mentioned this before, but this is the best I've ever seen Sirius written. He's wonderful. I love how much depth you give his character and how sweet he is. I could really feel his pain when he thought Caprice was dead. And I could feel HER guilt when she FINALLY realizes what an amazing friend he is. Great, great job. And I loved the tumultous emotions centering around Nora being so injured. You did a very, very good job. This is one of your best chapters yet.

Plot: WOW. This chapter was explosive. I was on the edge of my seat wondering what would happen with the Death Eaters and why they were there and what they were looking for and what would happen to Nora and just...OH MY GOSH. It was great. I can't wait to see what happens next.

Interactions: The moments between Lily and Cappie were really great. It was surprising for me to see Caprice being the one to tell Lily to run for it. And I'm REALLY happy that James was there to save Lily. And my all-time favorite parts are the ones between Caprice and Sirius. They are hands-down the best moments. INCREDIBLY sweet. They make me shiver. I LOVE how you portray their friendship.

Style: Beautiful as always, my dear. You're doing a terrific job.

Pacing: Ohmgoshconflict. Conflict to the extreme. I wonder what will happen next when the plot suddenly EXPLODED. WOW.

This was an absolutely wonderful chapter. You did so, so well.


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