Reading Reviews for To Save The Dark
  
42 Reviews Found

Review #1, by horcrux Chapter Five

20th October 2012:
Extremely good story but I would have liked it better if he did know who he was

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Review #2, by Danny Chapter Five

11th November 2011:
This is an amazing story, so touching. You should definitely keep writing! Update soon please :)

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Review #3, by jazzy4ver Chapter Four

20th September 2011:
Gods he's awake! *Does a happy dance* But he doesn't remember anything? This could be good or bad. But he's awake! I gotta read more!!

jazzy xoxo

Author's Response: Lol yes! read on! read on! it gets better!

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Review #4, by jazzy4ver Chapter Three

20th September 2011:
You are a very talented writer. Although, you tend to make tiny mistakes, like writing the wrong to, but very talented.

When is he gonna wake up? I wish I knew. I hope he does. I really do.
Oh, Mr. Hesworth crying :( He sounds like a really nce man.

Gotta read more!

jazzy xoxo

Author's Response: awe, you are so sweet! thank you so much!

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Review #5, by jazzy4ver Chapter Two

20th September 2011:
That was sad and very beautifully written. I'm reduced to nothing but tears and a bittersweet smile.

I did find it odd however, that Draco was wearing his ring. I though the people at Azkaban would have taken it from him or something.

Hoping all goes well...

jazzy4ver

Author's Response: AW i'm sorry I made you cry! I don't intend too!

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Review #6, by jazzy4ver Chapter One

20th September 2011:
That was interesting... I liked the descriptions you used and the style of writing was interesting. Hope the other chapter are this good. :)

jazzy xoxo

Author's Response: thank you so much!

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Review #7, by Khepera Chapter Five

19th September 2011:
AH! I love this story! I read the first chapter and checked how many there were, hoping to see like, twenty chapters. Unfortunately there's only five. Write more! Please!

Author's Response: They are coming, I promise!

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Review #8, by gran/ger Chapter Two

15th September 2011:
I like the way your story is going! If anyone can get through to Draco; it will be Hermione! I think he'll wake up from sheer cussedness! I can't see Draco ; even in a comma; not responding to Hermione's voice. Afterall he heard it almost daily for seven years! He will want to be able to give a comeback to anything she says. Time will tell.I'm going to read the next chapter later as my face is almost on the keyboard! Still, my face might type out better gobildygook than my fingers! Now I'd better stop waffling. Until later, ciao

Author's Response: haha, yes he would be the one to snap back at her! Maybe he will ;) Aww, you should get some sleep! you can finish this in the morning! Thank you for reviewing it though, it means so much!

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Review #9, by gran/ger Chapter One

15th September 2011:
I loved how you finished your intro! I could almost hear the drumroll and the dun, dun, dun! Seriously, I just know your story is going to be vey enjoyable. I want to get on with reading the next chapter; so bye for now.

Author's Response: aww, thank you so much! I hope it's enjoyable! I really liked writing it :)

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Review #10, by thenightphoenix Chapter Five

14th September 2011:
I love this story!!! SOOO MUCH!!! like loads siriusly loads!!! Anywho update please!! 10/10

Author's Response: lol okay i will! don't you worry!

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Review #11, by Oneirik Chapter Four

13th September 2011:
Alo alo! I can't wait to see what will come for these 2! Keep on updating!

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Review #12, by Remus Chapter Two

5th September 2011:
Yay! I'm back!

I hate to sound like I'm being mean or that I'm nit picking but...yeah. Alright, on chapter one you said that no one knows his name. Yet in this chapter he has a ring with the gleaming M on it. Shouldn't that be an indicator as to who it is? Also Azkaban would've taken all of his personal possessions..."But I see Zabini every now and again, hes wandering a around" You have an extra "a" right there.

Anyway! Sorry to nitpick. I have to say, I enjoy how you portray Hermione. She has got to get rid of the initial judgment of 1) he's a Death Eater and 2) that he, in a way, was her bully and that has to take care of a sick man. I giggled when she said "Yes, its me, Mudblood Granger." In this chapter your dialogue was a lot, LOT better. Hermione holding that conversation by herself was fantastic...its hard to do, honestly...having a character talk to him/herself without going overboard.

Anyway..your story has potential! You just have to be sure that you're not giving yourself plot holes. Continue writing!!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! That means a lot. It was hard, trying to get the character to talk to themselves, and it took me forever to write it out, so that means a lot when you said it was good!

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Review #13, by Remus Chapter One

5th September 2011:
Hey! its Perelandra from the forums with your review!

I usually do not do Dramiones however your story intrigued me. However, you have some small issues.

Your writing is alright. You have enough detail but your dialogue is lacking. I say it in a way that its a bit confusing for me. I found myself having to re-read a several lines to understand what was being said. For example "Only your body is dying Mr. Kingslyten, youll be fine, How is that possible? Once your body is dying...you're dying and most likely will not be fine. Unless you meant his mind was dying and his physical body will be alright? Also, in the part where it reads "...and since he's been in a coma for 7 years, we have no idea his name." I think you mean for it to read "...and since he's been in a coma for seven years, we have no idea what his name is." You just "ate" a word there. Just remember to proof read your material before posting. I know I do and I find a lot of mistakes on my own work. When it comes to grammar you're fine...you just really need to work on your paragraph flow. Specially dialogue.

Where are the Malfoys in this? They would've at least send his son to the best care right away. Unless they're in Azkaban as well? Why did Azkaban have to wait seven years to send him to a specialist? Well, maybe you'll answer this in future chapters.

Just keep writing! And on to chapter two!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the reviews! It's been a while since this story was written (three years) and so those things I didn't catch then, I would have probably caught now. Anyway, thank you so much for coming to read this-it's not a 'normal' Dramione anyway!

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Review #14, by Everlasting Faerie Light Chapter Four

3rd September 2011:
~Requested Review~
Okay, so this is one of those stories that I will pull my hair out in frustration if it's not updated soon. The very plot itself is addictive. I love the idea of Hermione having to care for a comatose Malfoy, even after all he's done and said...those moments where Hermione is just simply talking to him in his sleep are very emotional and gripping. After reading about the Malfoy in canon and how cold and cruel he is, I love just how he is so weak and vulnerable and someone as kind as Hermione is watching over him. There's a sort of tenderness there. Your writing itself is good, although there were a few grammatical errors along with song textual flow issues in some areas. But in other areas, your writing was very superb. Your strengths lie in emotional and moving dialogue. It's passionate and I'm very excited to see what happens in this story. Well done.

Author's Response: hahaha, I tend to write stories that make people want to pull their hair out and then just drop them! But I promise I won't do that to this one- I enjoy writing it.

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Review #15, by DracoFerret11 Chapter Four

2nd September 2011:
Well, it's me again.

Great job with this chapter. I didn't realize you'd been on a hiatus. Welcome back! I, myself, have HPFF hiatuses sometimes that last quite a while, though not for three years...

I really liked the style of this chapter. It's evident that your writing has evolved since you wrote the first few chapters of this story.

There are still a few problems with repetition, but nothing too awful.

I liked your characterization of everyone. I'm so happy that Draco woke up! That's exciting. :] I wonder how everyone back at Hermione's house will respond to knowing who her patient is. Hmmm...

Good job writing the interaction between Hermione and Draco. It seemed very plausible after he's woken up from a coma.

I think you're doing very well with this story. It shows a lot of promise. Keep up the good work and feel free to return to the review thread if you so desire.

--Emily

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing, it's been very helpful and means a lot to me! I will definitely be back to request!

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Review #16, by DracoFerret11 Chapter Three

2nd September 2011:
Well, it's me again.

Another good chapter! I really like the plot-progression. I think you're taking the story at a very nice pace.

A couple of small errors: It's been seven years since the War, Teddy would be seven years old, not a toddler. Also, he lived with his grandmother, Andromeda, not Harry and Ginny.

Also, Hermione's middle name is Jean, not Jane.

Mmkay, other than that...I liked your characterization of both Hermione and Ginny. I thought it was very well-written.

Good job describing the scene in Draco's room after Hermione decorates it for Christmas. I really feel awful for both of them...

This chapter was quite well done and I can't wait to read chapter four when I come home today. Great job!

--Emily

Author's Response: Oh right! I keep forgetting about that! But oh well, him living with Harry works for the story :D

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Review #17, by DracoFerret11 Chapter Two

2nd September 2011:
Hey there, me again.

Well, this story is just getting better and better!

I really love your characterization, though I'm a little unsure of the moments where Hermione is saying that Draco deserves to still be in Azkaban. I feel like she would be more forgiving than that.

I can really feel the emotions that she's going through as she tries to heal him. They're very realistic. Good job.

I like the way you've set this story up and the plot is moving along at a good pace. I wonder what else will happen before Draco wakes up...

You're doing much better here with Hermione's dialogue than the first chapter. I really enjoyed reading this one.

I'll give you more feedback when I'm done with chapter three. :] Off I go!

--Emily

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm trying very hard to make her forgiving yet not too forgiving :)

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Review #18, by DracoFerret11 Chapter One

2nd September 2011:
Hi there, this is DarkRose from the forums, here with your reviews.

Well...I've a lot to say, and hopefully it will all come out the way I want it to:

First off, I think you have a good idea for a story here and I think the plot will evolve very nicely if you pace it well.

A thought that I had concerning the basis, though: First off, it seems unlikely that Saint Mungo's would have an "elite ward" just for rich people. I feel like hospitals usually treat everybody, and don't reserve a specific place for people who have more money. Perhaps it could be a ward for special cases of some sort? I don't know--personal opinion here.

Also, you have a few instances of repetition of the same word. For instance, you repeat "sighing" when talking about Hermione in one of the first paragraphs. And you repeat "peacefully" in one of the last paragraphs, talking about Draco.

There were a few instances where your dialogue or writing style made it hard or abnormal to understand what was happening. Like when you were talking about the patient whose "body was dying." I feel like that's a very strange way to say he's getting old. And there were some problems with how the dialogue flowed--I suggest reading it aloud to see where there are inconsistencies. You'll hear where it sounds off. :]

Great idea, though, even if there are a few problems in the execution. You've got a really good plot and I can't wait to see how Hermione will handle this situation.

I'm really glad you made her a Healer, by the way. I always thought she would be a good one. :D

Off to read chapter two!

--Emily

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I understand that the wording of the sentences are strange, but I chose them for a specific reason. When I refer to the body dying, I mean just the body (his soul is still young :) ) but thank you, I'll go over it again :D

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Review #19, by marissa lily potter Chapter One

1st September 2011:
Hey there, marissa lily potter here with the review you requested. This was a great chapter. I loved it! I'm a huge Dramione fan, except with that pairing, there's way too much cliche which annoys me a lot. But this was a wonderful start to a great story.

It was different, unique and well written. I haven't read anything that explores the Dramion relationship in this light and I enjoyed the first chapter very thoroughly. The fic sounds like it'll be great. Everything was planned out very well. I love how you characterized Hermione in the first chapter.

The details were fantastic. Imagery could use some work, but it's not major. Describing the floor itself would make the chapter much better. Adding strong descriptive words can do wonders. I really love the plot. It's unique and will attract readers' attention. I think it's a great start. The chapter progressed at a great rate and has opened up for a lot of potential.

Great work! :)

-marissa lily potter

Author's Response: Oh wow! Thank you so very much! That means a lot to mean! I didn't know what to think of this story! :)

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Review #20, by thenightphoenix Chapter Four

1st September 2011:
Okay, I'm a new reader so I'm not disappointed by the three year gap in writing. I've fallen in love with this story honestly so please update soon! 10/10

Author's Response: awe thank you so much! It's nice to hear i have new readers!

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Review #21, by Aislinn Chapter Two

1st September 2011:
Neville in fact got married to Hannah Abbott. Get your facts right.

Author's Response: Yes, i do know that Neville married Hannah :) but seeing as this is fan fiction and I am the author, I wanted to write it this way. :)

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Review #22, by bluejellybean Chapter Four

1st September 2011:
I hope you keep up with this story. the idea seems fresh and new.

Author's Response: I promise I will, it's been around for a while, but thank you for the read! (And i know! Can you believe how almost all the stories are the SAME?)

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Review #23, by Cassie Chapter Four

31st August 2011:
continue the story! Please! : )

Author's Response: I will don't worry! :D

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Review #24, by Madison Chapter Four

31st August 2011:
"How awesome for you!"
That made me chuckle:D
I can't wait to read the rest.

Author's Response: haha, I'm excited for you to read it as well :)

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Review #25, by Madison Chapter Three

31st August 2011:
Wow... pretty good. Not bad at all.
And i love how crazy she sounds talking to herself.
:D

Author's Response: Well, haha thank you :D

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