*GLOMPS* Founders Era!!! Oh what a delight! Even though it was on the longer side for a one-shot, I couldn't help myself! There simply aren't enough good Founders Era stories on this site and it makes me sad!
Anyway, on to the review. This was beautiful. I mean it! I loved that you really got into the mind of Helena and showed her every motive for doing what she does. I found the relationship she had with Edmund to be very believeable and I'm glad you were able to mention Hogwarts and its early days as well!
I got into this story knowing that it has a less than desirable ending, what with the Helena we know being a ghost at Hogwarts, but still, I rooted for her and Edmund through the entire fic! I wanted to cry knowing how it was going to turn out, but I managed to stave off the tears! ;)
Your characterization of the Baron was quite interesting and I think really fit the time period well. Often times girls in that era were married off young and to much older men, so I liked that about your story too! In addition, what a great twist with the diadem. I really liked how you took it upon yourself to really delve into what the diadem could do!
Overall, this story is definitely going into my favorites! :) It is really well-written and I loved every word of it! :)
~VioletBlade Report Review
You know, I am discovering lately how much I really like Founders Era!
I enjoyed this a lot. I was always intrigued by Helena, and I think that you did a great job of capturing her here. I also thought that your making the diadem almost a Divination-type tool to be very interesting, especially since I've always personally associated Divination with Ravenclaw. My only issue - and this is obviously quite minor - was just in believing that the Baron would be searching nonstop for five years. I would have liked some explanation for how he found her.
Other than that, though, I liked it a lot! :) Report Review
Hi there, it's Atomic from the forums with your requested review!! I am so, so sorry that it took me this long to get back to you. College has been overwhelming lately. I would also like you to know that I actually wrote out a wonderful and long review, and in my tired stupidity closed the page before hitting submit (stupid preview button) so this is take two and I hope I do you justice.
I have no idea why you are editing this story, because it is absolutely marvelous. Your writing is superb and I think the plot is very original and believable. Your imagery and description in the story was so vivid that I could perfectly feel the love Helena and Edmund held for each other, and I actually cried at the very end. It didn't matter that I knew it was coming, you completely drew me into the story and it was heart breaking.
I did notice one tiny little thing. Your sentence: "She rolled onto her stomach and played with her fingers, tucking her crazed curls behind her ears" seems a bit strange to me. I think you meant to say that she played with her hair, but maybe that's just me being tired and stupid. Again, I'm so sorry. I had such a lovely review written for you and then I only hit preview.
As for Helena, she was absolutely wonderful. I think you definitely nailed her character. I could feel the internal struggle she faced between doing what her mother wanted her to do, and being the person she wanted to be. It was very well done and very realistic. I might maybe say that she gave into Edmund's request of running away a touch too quick, but that's really only if you want to get very picky. I think you did a marvelous job with her. She really was beautifully written.
But seriously, I am so glad you requested for me to read this story. It was original and wonderful, and you are a superb writer. I definitely give it a 10/10. Always feel free to request! I'd love to read anything else you've written. Report Review
Hey there, marissa lily potter here with the review you requested.
I have never read such an emotion filled, capturing and well written story before in my life. I absolutely love one-shots but I feel as though this one went on forever and by the ending, as if I had been through what Helena had been through with her, as it is the case with chaptered stories.
The details were to die for. You are an expert at using imagery and descriptions. You started the story off very well and the ending was just as great. It filled me with happiness when they were happy and sorrow when they were upset.
Helena's character was very much believable. I loved her personality. Her pride and arrogance, but her loyalty and kindness. They were complete opposites, yet they worked out so well for her! Helena was truly how she was described. You kept her characterization pure.
This was a very great story! I loved reading it and I could read it forever. There was mystery in every word and every paragraph captured me. It was as if I was feeling the emotions and living the lives of Helena and Edmund with them.
You're a very talented writer! The grammar, punctuation, imagery, and just about everything else was perfect! Amazing work with the story! I very much enjoyed reading it. I thought the idea, as common as it is with Founders Era fics, was very well written and thought out! I adored the plot as well :)
-marissa lily potter Report Review
Hey it's Logamind here from the forums.
This was a wonderful story. I'm so glad you asked me to review this piece, I really enjoyed it.
The charcterization of Helena and Edmund was great. They fit beautifully into the time you had put them in. You wondered if Helena is believable and in my opinion anyway, she certainly is. The way she acts around Edmund, in the astronomy tower especially is brilliant.
I never thought that Helena would return the Barons love, so this story seems to fit perfectly in to how the events leading to her death would have gone.
I can tell you this would make a great novel. It would be wonderful to get more details on their story. Especially in Albania and their journey away from Hogwarts. If you do begin to write it as one, let me know! I would love to read it.
This really was a wonderful piece. 10/10
Logamind Report Review
That was really good and really sad. Even though I knew what would happen in the end I found myself hoping that Edmund would come in time and that Helena would not die. T_T
You write very well. I love your imagery! As I was reading I could picture the story playing in my head like a movie! I am so glad that I saw this story and decided to read it! ^_^ Report Review
Happy Hufflepuff Tuesday!!
Wow I truly liked this and Iím not just saying this I even put it in my favorite story list you know. Iím not really into the founders era actually I donít dislike or anything I just donít find many interesting stuff there. She loved her children so much even when she thought she wouldnít and the reason why she stole from her mother for love ( and the way her love began) Wow. Just Wow! It was truly a pleasure but in why for merlinís sake is this an one-shot and not a novel you have some explaining to do missy ( I think or is it perhaps sir).
- Cleopatra ( Slytherin) Report Review
Just ... WOW. I never thought I would like a Founders fic, but you convinced me =) Report Review
I am completely lost for words right now. That was utterly fantastic! I've never read much of the Founders Era and you have now made me want to explore it! I LOVED your characterization, loved the way you wove the details of cannon into Helena's life, and I absolutely adored her relationship with Edmund. I really liked how, when you chose to make it Founders, you followed through. The dialogue was so realistic and in character! I'm green with envy right now because of your writing talent :) The plot was fantastic, especially the way you interwove the sword throughout and Edmund's initial hesitancy at her wielding it. I hope you have a lovely day! 10 but I wish I could give it more! xAuthor's Response: Awww, Sarah! Oh my goodness! I was not expecting such praise from someone who is so so so so so much more amazing than me!
Wow, wow, wow, my dear! You made my day! Thanks so much, sweetie!
Drue Report Review
i really like this and it made me cry at the end. I like how it shows Helena's backstory as we know what appened to her in Albania, but we do not really know why she went there in the first place. Report Review
that was a refreshing change from all the usual stories i read on here. i had never really given her a thought as to why she ran away and i really liked this story Report Review
Hi, Drue - I was very excited to come review this! I've always heard great things about your stories!
I really liked your interpretation of the Bloody Baron/Helena Ravenclaw story. I wrote a Helena story for the staff challenge 3, too, so it was definitely interesting for me to read a completely different take on the story.
The only constructive criticism I have for you is that the story could do with some more description. It's not a big deal, but a little more description here and there would improve the style a lot ;)
But other than that, I enjoyed the story a lot - even though it was a one-shot, you did a great job of characterizing the MCs. Also, you conveyed all of the strong emotions throughout the story in a really eloquent way; your word choice is impeccable!
It was a pleasure to read and review this for you - I'd be happy to do so again anytime, just let me know if you need an opinion on something =]
~CBG Report Review
Hello there! I absolutely loved the story, so complex, the intertwining of relationships, I love it :). Anyway, I was wondering if you could possible make me a Susan Bones - Justin Finch - Fletchley Banner? If you have the time. Susan Eldridge for Susan Bones. And Justin as Jamie Bell. =]]]. If you can't, then that is fine! Report Review
I found this to be a well-developed story. The Helena/Baron murder-suicide issue is a difficult one to comprehend and explain, I think. Of all the entries I've read so far, you have come up with the most detailed and comprehensive explanation. I did think the Baron's death was a little abrupt. I would have liked some more insight into why he stabbed himself.
I liked the way you set up the reader at the beginning to possibly think that Edmund was the Baron. At least, that's what I thought, despite your author's note at the top. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I liked the way you gradually increased the intensity of the story. The scene when Helena is sneaking into her mother's chambers and then running through Hogwarts had me on the edge of my seat.
I might have noticed a couple of minor typos, and you appear to have left a note from your beta in the paragraph when you describe the cottage. Report Review
This is great Drue! This is the first story I've read about Helena Ravenclaw's life and death, and it was very well done. :) Report Review
Loved it. Especially that Helena loved her own children so much, even when she didn't think she would.
Fantastic writing style as well.Author's Response: Aww, thanks, Nancy!
That means a lot to me. I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Thanks so much for stopping by.
-Drue Report Review
Omigod, Drue, that was lovely. :) Just... really lovely. I haven't read a lot of your one-shots, but I really enjoyed this one. Yeah... lovely.
Author's Response: RINNY! Thank you, honey!
YAY, I'm so glad you read it. Thanks so much for the awesome review. :D
-Drue Report Review
Ah, that was sad. I'm glad you told the Grey Lady's story. Thank you!Author's Response: Awww, thank you! This is only my perception of it, but thank you so much.
I'm glad you enjoyed it.
-Drue Report Review
Wow. I can't review it. I have nothing to say. That was the kind of story I like - what I look for in real literature. All I can ask is: Why, in the name of all that is holy would this be a one-shot?? God almighty make this a novel! Now! You must! First 10/10 in a very long time.
Could you delete the review from the other account? >_Author's Response: Haha! Sure! Thank you so much.
I'll copy my response here:
Aww! Wow! Thank you so much, Kate and Celtic! I really appreciate it! It's a one-shot for the staff challenge, but I'm going to create a novel for it.
I hope you two come back and read it! xD
Thanks so much for the review! You made my day!
-Drue Report Review
I haven't read many Founders' Era stories, so your story was something of a new experience for me. I appreciated the intricate story you wrote for the Gray Lady -- it takes a lot of imagination to create an entire life story from the tiny hints in the canon. In particular, I liked the story of Helena running off with an unsuitable man; it gives an alternative explanation for her theft and her flight.
But, most of all, I liked your description of the effects of the diadem. One of the most enjoyable aspects of reading fanfic is that it fills in the details that JKR may have left to one's imagination. That diadem, and what it was, and how it worked, was such detail a detail. I think you did a super job of describing what it would have been like to possess that thing.Author's Response: Thank you so much, Bella! I was wondering what readers would think about that.
Thanks for the awesome review!!
-Drue Report Review
Drue you have me speechless once more. I dunno how you do it, but you have done it again. You're descriptions are phonominal every time I read something new from you.
I'm afraid my review is going to be short, simply because it's amazing! Really, it is! I love the little sequence with Helena and the children. You wrote that extrememly well! Reminds me of childhood! ^_^
You wrote the 10th century talk perfectly, hun! I'm not an expert, but from watching several movies dealing with 10th century, I say you've written it very well!
I really enjoyed this piece, wonderfully written, as always! ;)
*AliciaAuthor's Response: Awww, Alicia! Thank you so much for the very sweet review. I appreciate it so much.
You are so sweet. Thanks! ILY2!
-Drue Report Review
The other day I told myself, "Collette, you have never read a story of the Founder Genre. I think it tis high time you did so." So I went to the stories section and clicked on the 'Founders' link under Genres and began to scans for something that would catch my interests.
To my utter surprise, number seven was none other then you, Drue! So I thought, 'What better way to read my first story from an era, then to have it written by the marvellous Drue!"
And marvellous it was! This was beautifully written, from start to finish. The emotions of both Edmund and Helena were capture magnificently throughout the entire piece.
The story told was just as lovely. I think it was the perfect way to have written something in which we were given just a few details in the book of. Very believable as to have happened, at that!
Lovely job, Drue! I truly enjoyed reading this, it was beautifully written.
Collette Report Review
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