155 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Hope's Mom Chapter 6: Classrooms and Classmates

21st February 2012:
Hi - I am a new reader to your sweet story. Teddy is adorable! It is good to read that he found a nice group of friends at school especially since he worried about it. It is also good that he misses his Weasley/Potter family. Thank you for sharing your writing!

Author's Response: Wow. This is such an old fic! It's wonderful to see new reviews for it. Thank you so, much.

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Review #2, by Jazzeh Turnip Chapter 6: Classrooms and Classmates

22nd August 2010:
That beginning was fantastic. YAY for personification. This "teasingly whispered snow through the ears of anyone who would listen" is beautiful. People don't usually take fluff to seriously, but that writing there proves that it's definitely something worth reading and reviewing.

Uh-uh. Teddy better not have anything going on with that Emma girl. He's practically betrothed to Victoire! I'm glad that later on he mentions Victoire :) Yaaay!

I like all of these new characters that're becoming his friends. You're almost making me wish I was a Hufflepuff.

I really can't wait until you next update. I LOVE this.

10/10
Lorren

Author's Response: This story is undergoing a huge re-write. I'm hooping to continue it by next summer. Thank you so much for your support.

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Review #3, by Jazzeh Turnip A Train Ride and a Look Inside

22nd August 2010:
Hi, remember me? I'm back to fangirl this story some more.

I can't believe I forgot how much I loved this. Your version of Teddy is so lovely, and you capture his age very well. He's the perfect mix between Tonks and Remus. He was so adorable when talking to Corey for the first time. I never considered before that him being the oldest out of all the next gen kids would make him shy with children his own age, but I can really see that.

I love Andromeda! Reading her trying to hold back her emotions was quite funny. I've never pictured her as all too stern, but it works here.

Your descriptions of Teddy's first time at seeing Hogwarts were so beautiful, and they just make me want to go to Hogwarts even more. I got goosebumps when he was put in Hufflepuff.

So, awesome chapter. I can't wait to get onto the next one and fangirl over it. The pace of this story seems to be slowing down a bit more. Wherease before it was jumping in bigger steps, those steps seem to be getting shorter. Not that I'm complaining of course, I love this story and want as much of it as possible, although I still am wondering what the hell Victoire is going to say.

9/10
Lorren.

Author's Response: I do remember you!!

I hope you continue to read when this story is picked up next summer. :D It's undergoing a bit of a facelift atm. I feel that my talents as a writer have matured a bit since beginning this, and want this story to reflect that.

Thank you so much for your support and your incredible reviews.
-Melissa


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Review #4, by TallestTower Chapter 6: Classrooms and Classmates

16th March 2010:
I'm starting to feel like a bit of an idiot, because at the end of the chapter all I have to say is that I loved it. I feel as though I should be giving you advice or useful comments... but it would be strange, as you write much better than me to give you advice and I'm struggling to find any kind of faults! Not that I'm complaining, that's definately a good thing! It shows how much care you have put into this story.

The only thing that stuck out for me was when Neville said 'tardy'. It seemed strange because generally they use that more in America and as Neville is British it was odd. That comment is going to be embarresing if it turns out your british and you use it all the time... ah well!

Anyway, congradulations once again on a great chapter. I love reading this story, it's full of great uses of language and very well proof-read!

Can't wait til the next chapter!

TallestTower

Author's Response: Hello hello. :)

Do not feel like an idiot. :) I love your reviews. Teddy is proving a little difficult right now, but after I update a few of my other WIP's I'll be updating this one.

Thanks!
Melissa


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Review #5, by TallestTower A Train Ride and a Look Inside

14th March 2010:
I finally got time to read this chapter, I had so been looking forward to it and it was worth the wait. Teddy is such a strong character that you write so well!

I was a little dissapointed he didn't get to see the Witch with the sweet trolly on the Hogwarts express. I can imagine his reaction.

And hufflepuff! That was a shock. I thought he was a gryffindor for sure, but I think Hufflepuff suits him. Still, I can't help being biased to Gryffindor!

Once again, your description was lovely. You capture the magical world that is Hogwarts very well...

I'm struggling to find criticism here... I won't try and pick out a measley mistake because it will be useless.

Another great chapter...thank you!

Author's Response: YES! Hufflepuff all the way. I actually had a really difficult time chosing between Hufflepuff and Gryffindor. Aw. The Trolley Lady. I didn't even think of including her. man.

:) Thanks again. You rock!
Melissa


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Review #6, by FannyPrice Chapter One: A Brand New Adventure

7th February 2010:
Hello!

I've been meaning to read this, and finally have the time. (Well, actually, I don't really have the time; i'm just taking time because its what I want to be doing) Anyway...

I adore this. I love baby Teddy, he is the sweetest thing imaginable, pretty much. I like how inquisitive and empathetic he is. And the whole meeting Victoire was so dreamlike. I know its kind of strange, but it reminded me of the scene in Lady and the Tramp, where Lady meets the baby! But, it also reminded me of my nephew...who is also two years old and who I miss a ton! And coming from my personal experience, you did a wonderful job writing a two year old.

-FannyPrice

Author's Response: Miranda!

I can't believe how long it took me to answer this. :-/ Anyways... thank you so much. Baby teddy is so cute. He was so cooperative and easy to write back then... lol.

Thanks!
-xx-
Melissa


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Review #7, by Laugharama_llama Chapter 6: Classrooms and Classmates

30th January 2010:
Yay! This story is coming along so nicely! I love it! Hahaha I don't know, I can't think of a good review. But I really do like this! :)
Katrina

Author's Response: Thanks. lol. It's all good.

xx
Melissa


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Review #8, by Laugharama_llama A Train Ride and a Look Inside

30th January 2010:
Hi Melissa

I really liked it! I won't rave about it until the end though. I just wanted to stop by and point out that you forgot to make it "Lupin, Ted" when Teddy's name was called out.

Sorry, I always notice these things >.< It's great though! :D

Author's Response: gah. I hate typos. shall fix this asap.

Thanks for reviewing this and please forgive me for taking nine years to respond. :)

xx
Melissa


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Review #9, by Jet LaBarge Chapter 6: Classrooms and Classmates

29th January 2010:
Good. Not the best, but well worth reading. Enjoying the chapters. Teddy is believable. Keep up the good work.

Author's Response: Thanks for taking the time to review. :)

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Review #10, by Yoshi_Kitten Chapter 6: Classrooms and Classmates

29th January 2010:
Ok, ok, now I know what you're probably thinking... I am aware that I still owe you those other 3 reviews yet, and I promise you that I AM working on those! I have just been crazy busy lately, and in retrospect, I probly should've been reading one of those other stories right now... But when I saw that I had a shot at being the 1st person to review this new chapter of 'Snips -n- Snails' for you, I couldn't help myself, lol!! I just LOOOVVVE this story SO MUCH and the suspense was killing me, so I just had to read it before the rest, lol! ...Well anyhow, I think we've heard enough of my making up excuses for right now, lets get back to what I am really here for: your review! By the way, it's like after 8:00 in the morning here right now, and I have been up ALL night long, so I'm sorry if I am rambling too much, haha!!) ^_^'

As always, your attention to detail and use of description was amazing straight from the opening paragraph, and all the way through to the end! How do you do it? I found your characterizations of everyone to be spot-on too, and the chapter itself has really good timing, (if that even makes sense). Like, everything was paced well, and nothing seems to be happening too fast... I also loved that you included Neville as the Herbology teacher, and I really liked your new Transfiguration teacher as well.

It's great to see that Teddy is making new friends from other houses as well, but I really can't wait for Victoire to start Hogwarts too so that Teddy doesn't have to be away from her anymore! In a way, Teddy's new friends kinda remind me of the Marauders, lol! (Braden=Peter, Alastor=Remus, Bradley=Sirius, which would make Teddy kind of like the James of the group, lol! But Emma reminds me of both Lily & Hermione.) *shrugs* I don't know if that was intentional on your part or not, but I for one thought that it was a very cool parallel between the 2 different generations, so nicely done!! I wish I could write like you, I really do, lol! *sigh*

AGH! A cliff-hanger ending!?! Oh geeze, now I am really wondering where you will choose to go with this story next, lol! At this point, I can really see it going just about anywhere, which is a good thing! You really do like to keep us guessing, don't you? Hehehe, please give us an update soon!! Oh, and I promise to get to your other reviews just as soon as possible my dear! Thank you for being so patient with me!! I love you and I am in love with your writing! Keep up the magnificent work Malissa!! =)

~Deana~

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review.

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Review #11, by ohcrapidroppedmybrain A Train Ride and a Look Inside

21st January 2010:
Hi! Since I've FINALLY cleared out most of the reviews I owed, I had to come here! I squealed when I heard another chapter was up, simply because your writing is simply delectable! I remember you posting a question up about this on the forums (a few months ago). Glad you finally have it up!

*turns on critic voice*

Now, I believe this chapter is about the innocence Teddy has, and the point of his life when he actively has to make a serious decision. This chapter is about him transitioning and growing up in a way...farther from Victoire. I noticed no changes in POV or tense, so that's a plus.

As you already know, you do all of your characters justice. I could imagine Andromeda; JK Rowling's Andromeda, actually doing the things she did in the chapter. And although she didn't really characterise Ted, if she was ever going to write about him, it would be done similar to how you do it. It's very beautiful to see in fan fiction, when most of the authors don't have this gift. I applaud you, Melissa. I applaud you.

I have something to say about Corey; was he supposed to sound like a spaz. I'm not sure if you were going for comedy, but as he was like, "My name is Cornelius Lynch. Call me Corey. Only my mum calls me Cornelius," I imagined him twitching a little. I didn't mean to offend him, or you. It just made me laugh.

I think you captured the essense of Hogwarts quite nicely; it was really familiar...I could practically taste the grandeur!

A few grammar errors:

There were places where the chapter was left indented.

"Yes, you share in his brBraden."

Besides that, good job and I can't wait for more!

Author's Response: CONSTANTS! (That was my excited voice)

I am so happy that you finally got to read this chapter. I know that it was a long time coming. lol. It was a difficult one for me to write.

So I'm blushing a little bit. Your compliments about my characters are far too kind. :) haha. Corey is just a bit of a tool. He's stuffy and pompous and thinks way too highly of himself. Feel free to picture him twitching. I dislike him immensely.

The essence of Hogwarts. wow. That in and of itself is a compliment. I tried very hard several times to write this chapter correctly. I finally settled for this. I'm glad it worked.

I'll be sure to edit this up. :) I submitted the next chapter today, so be sure to look for it today.

Thanks Constants!!!
Melissa


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Review #12, by Cedrics Blueyed Girl A Train Ride and a Look Inside

19th January 2010:
Hi, Melissa! Glad to see another chapter up and I'm happy to be reading again =]

Now, you asked for CC, and so I'm going to try and provide that in my kindest way. Not that there are any glaring problems with your writing, though, it was really quite good ;)

I know that it's hardly helpful to read a review and get a long list of all the grammatical errors, anymore so that it would be to read 'Luvd it, its gr8!' So I'm going to try and find a place in between those two extremes ;) Hopefully it's helpful to you!

So, the first thing I noticed when I started reading was the structure of the page - while you have an appealing writing style, I had a hard time focusing on each sentence because you had such huge chunks of writing in a paragraph. This is hardly a complaint, as it doesn't even relate to the content of the story, but I thought it was worth mentioning. Maybe just try to play around with the spacing and create a more 'open' chapter. Goodness, I sound so nitpicky... I hope you don't take it like that!!!

Something you mentioned was your worry about the characterization. For me, I find it hard to critique a character at this stage. Right now, Teddy's just a first year and we've barely known him for five chapters so there isn't much specific development to discuss. At the same time, however, from the phrasing you use to the points you include in relation to Teddy, I think you're doing a great job because you're laying out a deeper groundwork for his future character development. If that makes sense ;) Sometimes I find that I make absolutely no sense, so I apologize if you can't decipher what I'm trying to tell you!

As for the plot, I don't have any specifics, really. There's only so much you can do with that dreaded 'first-day-at-school' scene, right? At least for me, I always hate having to write the chapter when the little first year sees Hogwarts for the first time, just because it's so hard to escape the 'clicheness' of it all! Considering that, though, I did enjoy this chapter, and I'd be happy to give you more thoughts on the plot when more has happened ;)

Another thing you asked about was the writing style. I really don't have anything too specific to say on that, though. I mean, you obviously have talent as a writer - this writing is far beyond much of the writing I usually find on here. So, although I don't have any specific comments on that, I wouldn't worry if I were you. It was easy to follow and enjoyable to read =]

One last thing - I loved how you put Teddy in Hufflepuff! That made me smile! Anyways, I really, truly hope this long ramble was somehow beneficial to you! Don't hesitate to re-request when you update! I'd be glad to help you out =]

~CBG

Author's Response: Helo!

I'm so happy that you reviewed this. I know that it has been a long while since I updated, and it is important to me to hear back from old readers. :)

You don't sound nitpicky at all!! Constructive Criticism is helpful and hard to come by. I'll be sure to look over my formatting (I'm always terrible at it *guilty face*).

It makes me happy that Teddy's first day of school didn't seem too terribly cliche. It was a tough chapter to write. And yes... Hufflepuff it is. I just think that it suits the character I've created for him better than the other houses. :)

Thanks so much for reviewing this!! I'll pop by once the next chapter is validated.
-Melissa


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Review #13, by Rachel A Train Ride and a Look Inside

17th January 2010:
Hey, this is Rachel from the forums, here with your review!
So, I don't know if you've read my latest post, but I promised to read through everyone's novels, but I could only review the last chapter, seeing as I have a ton of requests coming in.

So I just sat down to read one of your chapters. And then I couldn't stop! They were so, so, so great! Every single one. I'm really angry that I still don't know whether or not Victoire said yes, but with their history together, I can't imagine her having said no. I assume that's going to be the last chapter.

Overall, I'd say you have a great writing style and good technique. One thing that is absolutely brilliant is your characterization. Every single person in this story really has their own character. Even Ron, who you mentioned only once or twice, still has his little quirks and the bits and bobs that make him Ron are still there.

The story is moving along quite nicely. Although I was upset at first that we didn't get to see Victoire's answer right away, I've now realized that this isn't your regular story and that we went back in time for the long haul, so it's not going too slowly but it's also not moving too quickly. I saw no problem with you skipping four years, only because those four years might not have been significant to your cause.

I usually don't like Teddy-centered fics. I'm not sure why. There's just something about a lot of them. But I absolutely love this one. I love the relationship between Harry and Teddy. Also, Teddy and Victoire are absolutely adorable. And I love how you characterized all the Weasley children differently, because that's sometimes hard to do, as there's so many of them.

Anyway, that's about all. Wonderful job and I'm sorry it took so long to review!
10/10!

Author's Response: Awww. :) This is a fabulous review that was well worth the wait... Thank you!

So right you are, the story is based around Teddy's life as he grows up and his corresponding relationship with Victoire. I'm tickled pink that you complimented my characters. I work really hard on them. They are so firmly individual in my mind.

I'm happy that you enjoyed this fic, despite it being Teddy centered. :) I'll be posting the next chapter some time this week.
Thank You so Much!
Melissa


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Review #14, by Yoshi_Kitten A Train Ride and a Look Inside

13th January 2010:
Ok, so now that I have finally have gotten all of my work done, and I am somewhat caught up with everything, I think its about time I finally sit down to read this new Chapter now! Oh gosh, I've been waiting SO long to read about Teddy's sorting, haha!! I mean, my gosh, it seems like ages ago that you posted that thread asking for people's ideas of which house to sort him in, lol! But I am very happy with where he ended up, Hufflepuff suits him perfectly!!! :)

I can also remember sending you those pictures that I found of Kings Cross station, lol! I think you did a fine job of describing it hun. Your descriptions of everything here were perfect and, as always, your attention to detail was amazing!!! One thing I loved was the fact that you made Teddy's class so small. It makes total sense that not too many kids would have been born that year, so good point!

I loved all of the new characters you introduced, and I am so curious to know where you are going to go with this next!! Please update again soon, ok?
10/10

Author's Response: Yay! I know... it's been forever since I updated. :( But I have the next chapter done already. It just needs cleaned up and it will be entering the queue. :)

I'm so glad that Teddy's sorting seems to be sitting well with everyone. I just feel like Hufflepuff is the house for him. And you know me and my description... lol.

Thanks!! The next one should be up soon!
Melissa


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Review #15, by Laugharama_llama Chapter Two: Snowy Days and First Kisses

13th January 2010:
Hallo Melissa!

Just as I said before, I thought these past two chapters were really sweet! I don't have much specific to day about this one, as it was a Teddy Back History just like chapter too, but it was adorable as well! That last scene with Victoire thinking they got into a fight and kissing him was THE BEST

I'm getting antsy for what happened between Victoire and Teddy! AHH!

But in conclusion, great job so far :)
Katrina

Author's Response: Thanks again... :) I'm very glad that you continue to find the chapters to be cute. Victoire is rather forward in the kissing department... as you'll soon find out. :)

Thanks again!
Melissa


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Review #16, by Laugharama_llama Chapter One: A Brand New Adventure

13th January 2010:
Part two!

Hey melissa! I didn't mind the chapter shift, although now that I think about it, I might have preferred this as chapter one. But it's fine the way it is!

As I said in the cbox, Baby Teddy is adorable. The part where you wrote that Teddy kissed Fleur's belly made me "aww!" aloud! I loved your characterization of Teddy! I really enjoyed the difference between this chapter and chapter one, because I was able to see how Teddy matured, but also the parts of his character that he still retained.

Onward!

Author's Response: Hey again Katrina!

The way the story is written is that Teddy is awaiting Victoire's response in the present (prologue) and flashing back over important moments of their lives together (chapters) until she decides to answer him (epilogue). I always worry that readers will find this awkward...

I'm glad that you find Teddy cute. :) Well, since we all know that TEDDY RULES THE WORLD. :) I am really enjoying watching his character grow as I write it and am glad that you noticed the growth.

Thank you so much!!


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Review #17, by Laugharama_llama Prologue: Grown-up Questions

12th January 2010:
Hey Melissa, it's Katrina with your review from TGS!

UGH!! Although, I usually review every chapter for multi-chapter requests, I was so anxious to know what happened that I told myself that I would skip this chapter and review it along with chapter two! But then I went one chapter ahead, and there wasn't an immediate continuation! GR, MELISSA! Sigh, so I came back to do a proper review, hahaha!

Once again, I applaud your detail! You started the chapter off wonderfully, with showing how nervous Teddy was!! I also enjoyed that minor detail of "NT + RL 4EVER" - it was so cute!! It tied in very well with the chapter too, since he was about to propose and all.

I really liked how you incorporated the memory of when they were kids! It was a cute idea of how to propose and it just made me smile :)

Your ending just about killed me. I don't know WHY, because I knew it was coming, but it still did! :( I guess because the whole story is in a third-person Teddy POV, so I was getting this huge loving vibe and then she said NO! -sniff-

Great job! Next chapter!

Author's Response: Yay Katrina!!!

:) hahaha... I pull a lot of readers' legs with the abrupt jump in time btween the prologue and the first chapter. *evil laugh*

I'm glad that the attention to detail was appreciated. I'm sort of an attention to detail queen. The ending is a bit cruel on my behalf. lol. But she didn't necessarily say 'no,' she just didn't answer at all...

Thanks dearie!
Melissa


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Review #18, by hopelessromantic3 A Train Ride and a Look Inside

6th January 2010:
yay an update!! :D such a great chapter :) please update again soon!!

100/10 :D

Author's Response: Thanks. Another one is on the way very soon.

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Review #19, by LucyLovegood A Train Ride and a Look Inside

6th January 2010:
Hufflepuff!? Actually, I think I remember you saying he would be somewhere along the lines, but still! I suppose not every Next Gen kidlet can end up in Gryffindor. It's a good fit.

Really nice chapter! It'll be sad not to see so much Victoire - I do love her. Your descriptions are fantastic and the pacing in this was terrific. You built up his anxiety with terrific depth.

Only issue I could find was probs a typo, near the end with the sorting hat: "Yes, you share in his brBraden." Did you mean bravery?

Awesome update!

Lucy x

Author's Response: hey Lucy!! I saw you on TGS today!!

Anywho... Thanks for reviewing!! It's always exciting to post a chapter and realize that there are new reviews to respond to. :)

Yeppp the Tedster is a Puffer. He is just too kind and un-snarky to be a Gryffie. It just didn't seem right. I'm glad that it seems like a fitting placement.

It is actually killing me not to have Victoire there to write. They are just so darn cute. lol. But I only have a few chapters (2-3) before she starts school. I'm glad that my descriptions and pacing worked. Having just dived into this after a brief absence, I was worried that it would seem 'off'.

hahaha. I'm fixing that typo now. lol. That is indeed supposes to say Bravery and not brBraden. Thanks!!

-Melissa


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Review #20, by Rose Chapter Two: Snowy Days and First Kisses

6th January 2010:
do you know that dom is actually a girl, short for dominique?

Author's Response: In French, which Dominique's name is, Dominique is a nuetral name that can be for either girls or boys. In this fic, he is a boy.

Thank you for your concern though.
Melissa


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Review #21, by amortentia18 A Train Ride and a Look Inside

6th January 2010:
Yay! Thanks for posting a new chapter, it has been eagerly anticipated. I'm glad to hear that he's in Hufflepuff, I think it suits the way his charecter has been shown so far. I can't wait for the rest of the stories of his beginning of Hogwarts, so i hope the next chapter will be up soonishly. Happy New Year xx

Author's Response: Yay!! Thanks for reviewing... :) I'm glad you like Teddy's house placement. I do think that it suits his character. I have the next chapter written. It should be entering the queue tomorrow or the next day.

Happy New Year to You too!!
Melissa


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Review #22, by Alassie Chapter Two: Snowy Days and First Kisses

13th December 2009:
Oh, how cute! I love little Teddy and little Victoire. They are positively adorable. And it was so cute how Teddy said that Ginny and Harry's baby wouldn't be a girl. And Victoire is so bossy. And oh, they are just so adorable I can't even stand it. Your writing is excellent.
10/10
Alassie

Author's Response: eeek! what a compliment! Once again, thank you for these reviews. I'll be sure to rerequest once I have another chunk to be reviewed.
-Melissa


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Review #23, by Alassie Chapter One: A Brand New Adventure

13th December 2009:
Awwwe, that was so cute. I have a two year old sister, and I must say that you actually got the age range just right. Most people have them speaking in complete sentences and knowing exactly what is going on all of the time. I liked the writing of this chapter too, the complete innocence, the black and white of viewing the world from a child's perspective. I also have always adored Remus, Tonks and Andromeda, and I really felt for Andromeda at the beginning of this chapter. She has a really difficult time of it, losing her daughter, and having to raise her grandson, who she loves, but she was past her child raising phase. I loved it all, really!
10/10
Alassie

Author's Response: yay!! again, sorry for the long delay in responding... I'm sure you know how life goes sometimes.

I'm really stoked that I captured a two year old accurately. :) It is fantastic to know that readers are enjoying my characters and the writing style. wahoo!

Thanks again,
Melissa


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Review #24, by Alassie Prologue: Grown-up Questions

13th December 2009:
Sorry it took me so long to get to you requested review!
I really liked this! I like your writing story, and all of your different characters. The memory with Victoire was really cute, they sounded just like little kids, just like their age range, which can be difficult to pull off. I nearly died with how cute it was that he was going to ask her to marry him on her birthday, just like they had decided so many years ago. I also loved Teddy's Nan, she is just like I would envision her! Excellent job!
10/10
Alassie

Author's Response: Aww. Thank you very much for this review. I'm equally sorry that it took me so long to respond to this review.

It's wonderful to know that my writing style is enjoyable and that my characters are relatable and fun.

Thanks a ton and a half!
Melissa


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Review #25, by blueirony Chapter Three: Those Lazy and Emotional Days of Summer

2nd December 2009:
Eep, I forgot to add something! Tack this on to the review I gave you for Chapter 5.

The transition between the ages of Teddy is very noticeable from chapter to chapter. In each one, he grows up a little more. And you can see it. It really is visible. And not just him. Victoire as well. Even smaller characters like Dominique. You said it was one of your strengths. And I definitely agree!

Author's Response: Thanks!! I commented on this in the main response. :) You're too wonderful.

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