There is an element of breathlessness in this writing that I am trying to put my finger on. I don't know how you do it, whether it's the emotional content, or the descriptives, but I found myself forgetting to breathe in certain places. It's usually bad, y'know? To not breathe. But in this one-shot, I found that it heightened the experience of falling into the unknown. I'm not gasping for air or anything. There were places where you allowed the reader to catch his breath. So, anyway, I loved it!
pixileanin (gryffindor)Author's Response: It's probably bad punctuation lol but no seriously, what a wonderful way of describing it. I've never thought to put it like that. I really like it =]
When I was writing it, my intention was to try and make it feel like you were part of the whirlwind to, like you'd experienced the ups and downs with them.
I'm so happy you enjoyed =]
And thank you very much for leaving such a great review, I really appreciate it!!
Thanks again, Samantha! Report Review
This was great! But I'd love to see another one shot set in the same place but this time from Rose's POV!Author's Response: That is a really great idea =] Think I'll have a go, thanks for that!
Thanks for taking the time to read and review, I really appreciate it =]
spam_up_sam Report Review
It was beautifully written at the beginning. I loved it. Passionate. Well-written. Fantastic. I felt the end was too dramatised to work with the rest of the piece. It felt melodramatic and too cut and dry. I felt it needed to be a little more ethereal at the end. Less dialogue. Less everything. More symbolic.
Otherwise, some great writing - going to check out your other stories :PAuthor's Response: I agree totally, this was one of the first things I wrote when I started getting into fic and when I reread it now I actually cringe a little bit. So yeah, summer holidays equals a re-haul =]
Thank you for the advice! And thank you for giving this a read/reviewing, I really do appreciate it. Report Review
oh wow. WOW!
So much emotion in it! I love it!
you're a good writer :)
xAuthor's Response: Aww thank you, I'm really glad you liked it
and thank you for the wonderful compliment =]
Thanks for taking the time to leave me a review! Report Review
Okay so I am leaving a review here because basically have no idea how else to let you know this thing that I am about to tell you.
There's this story, it's really really really good, I mean you are such a great writer and the author of this story is a genious so I know you could appreciate it. It's a dramione, but if you aren't into that its still amazing writing so you should check it out. I don't know if you've heard of it before but its called Midnight by Spankinghalo.
Anyways just wanted to tell you that, and also I am terribly sorry for using a review to tell you this but I didn't know how else to do it.
P.S. what's next in store for you? Working on anything new?Author's Response: I have been known to like the odd dramione, so thank you for suggesting it. I'll definitely check it out, I've been looking for a new story to get into for a while.
And hey, that's a perfectly great way of getting in touch seeing as I don't really use the forums.
Hmmm...I have two oneshots done, but I'm not sure if I'm going to post them and I've been playing around with an idea for a new rose/scorpius but again, it's just getting it so I feel confident with it which I definitely don't right now. Lot's of tweaking to be done.
omg that was awsome loved it ur a really good writer xoxoxAuthor's Response: Aww thanks! =]
Thanks for leaving a review x Report Review
I love the way you write, and your stories about rose and scorpius are great. I never realized I liked the couple so much until I read your stories. Awesome job!Author's Response: Oh wow! Blushing right now, thank you so much! =] Honestly, that's an amazing compliment. Thanks, hope you keep enjoying the pairing Report Review
Aww! Completly adorable. I was worried for a second Rose wasn't going to pull through! but she did, and they ended up toghether! (: Haha i really enjoyed the part when Albus got the money from everyone, weasleys do love to bet. Great great job. I think you're an extremely talented writer, please keep writing more. oh and i love once again how you can write a new perspective on the rose and scop relationship, its amazingg.Author's Response: I do like the idea of a cheeky, Fred and George like, black market gambler Albus lol. I felt the over whelming urge to get him in =]
Thank you so much, again, you honestly have made my whole week!
Ah well, I have one more week of uninspiring essay writing ahead of me before I can get back to writing, but I have a lot of ideas. A lot!
The next Rose/Scorpius pairing I'm cooking up is even more different...I fear a little too different but I'm determined anyway lol
Anywho, thank you x100, it's reviews like this that really make me want to keep writing
=D Report Review
Whomever would passionately loathe this piece deserves to have their ears boxed, and that's that. It was so full of boiling emotion that I think it actually boiled right on over. I loved the humor, the darkness, the driving need of the characters. And then in the last moments, when all of the uncertainty died away, it all came together in a beautiful picture. I liked it. Couldn't you tell? 10/10 of course! :)
~MoonNRosesAuthor's Response: I really need to stop being so down on myself don't I? Gosh, I dunno, I think I always expect people to say 'That was awful' so putting it out there beforehand makes it less surprising if anyone does actually hate it. That probably only makes sense to me lol
I loved writing this one, I wanted something that was sexy but still had enough actually content to keep the attention. Plus Kings of Leon was on repeat and 'Sex on fire' had a major influence on the beginning section.
I'm very very very very glad you like =]
Thank you! Report Review
this is fabulous! :) now go post the last chapter of jump him pretty please! ( or you could, like, write 50 more chapters for jump him and just post number nine... )Author's Response: Aha 50 more chapters?? Jesus! Well, however tempting that is, I think it best I just leave that story where it is but I have another Sirius/Oc in the running...that is, if I ever get the inclination or the time past all my school work to start it properly
Thank you so much for the review and I'll get started on the last chapter =] Report Review
Oh my god that's awesome! It's really A great story and I have come to love your fan fics, they are so well written! Keep writting!Author's Response: Oh wow!
Blushing right now! =]
You're great, and thank you so much
Honestly grinning stupidly right now lol
I'll definitely keep writing =]
Thank you for the lovely review!
x Report Review
wow. your writing flows so well. i really loved this. especially the flash back. oh the angst! :P
rose+scorp Author's Response: Thank you!!
Two reviews! You're great and thank you for the compliments, my days a little brighter =] Report Review
so i thought i'd just mosey on over and check out a few of your fics since you reviewed one of mine ... and to my surprise ... kings of leon!! i actually saw them live at a music festival last friday Author's Response: I'm so jealous!! Oh I'd love to go see them, I bet they were brilliant =]
Aha I find listening to their music puts me in the mood for writing
ANywho, thanks for taking the time to leave a comment =D You're cool!! Report Review
Absolutely, utterly, wholly and completely love. It's gorgeous.Author's Response: Wow =]
Thanks, it means a lot that you like it
spam_up_sam Report Review
Wow, this is intense.
So, so, good though.
Yeah, Im not very good at writing reveiws that get what I mean across.
What I am trying to say is that this is magnifecient!Author's Response: Well, you have just made my day =D
Thank you so much for reviewing and I'm like 'wow!' that you thought it was magnificent, I always worry about my writing
Again thank you for the lovely review, I've got a massive smile right now
spam_up_sam Report Review
Lovely and passionate, just the way I imagined these characters would be. Your description of Scorpius's feelings is amazing and realistic.
It was a REALLY good reading. :]Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much for the lovely review!
Yeah, I didn't want them to fight or have their family histories in the way, I just wanted to put over this passionate kind of connection that they were both a little wary off initially and so I'm glad it actually worked and I haven't just writen a load of gobbledegook like I often do lol!
Aww I came home and found this and its left me with a massive smile
Thanks again =] Report Review
Great details. No doubt about that. Is this a one-shot? I'd like to see more. And if it was a one-shot, I thought you could have spread this out into a few more chapters.
Some of the dialogue seemed a little choppy or unrealistic (but not in a terrible way!! don't get me wrong, I loved it!)
I just thought I'd point that out.
More please!!Author's Response: Thank you for the review
And yeah, it is a one-shot and well, I think I'm just going to stick to it being one
It was just a little experiment as I'd never written with the characters before and as it is, as a separate piece, I'm reasonably happy for it to just be that
I agree, the dialogue is probably both choppy and unrealistic but I'm admittedly awful with dialogue when I'm not terribly accustomed to the characters
I may go back on a rainy day and try to improve so thank you for pointing it out
I may not extend this but I am considering writing a rose/scorp novel when I've finish my Sirius/oc...maybe...if I get a plot bunny =]
Thanks again =]
spam_up_sam Report Review
Wow. This was extremely well written. In fact I can't believe you read my piece of crap writing when you write like this. It's also my first next generation fic and truth be told I don't think it'll be my last. I love the way you wrote all of his emotions and I could picture every little detail of how he was feeling. It's awesome :)
MadsAuthor's Response: Thank you so much, I believe I'm blushing madly right now!
Aww you've made my day
And no, your writing was good, be nice to yourself, I wouldn't have left a review if it looked like it was written by a four year old so no worries, it was really good and i'll be looking out for the next chapter =]
Oh brilliant, I've converted you to the joys of next gen, good times, I like it a lot...not as much as Marauders but still
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review it's very much appreciated =]
Samantha x Report Review
Love.definitely no hint of passionate loathing...Author's Response: I'm a big fan of the passionate loathing rose/scorp relationship but I just didn't have the heart to write one...I was feeling decidedly soppy lol
I had this kind of idea of a love that was always being pushed aside until really there's nothing left to do but to confront it
Thank you for your review =] and for taking the time to read this
spam_up_sam x Report Review
The descriptions and details you put into this are quite lovely. The raw emotion too made it that much better. I liked the way it ended, there wasn't any need for anything showy. Them walking out of the pub hand in hand was great enough. :3Author's Response: You just made me smile
I'm glad you like it, yeah I think I piled it all on early so I thought I'd have a nice simple ending which says more than anything too showy and over the top
Thank you so much for your lovely review, it really made me day even better, I really appreciate it
spam_up_sam x Report Review
I liked it! Lots of passion and all that I look for with Rose/Scorpius... Nice work. It would make an interesting full-length fic too.Author's Response: Thank you!! You\\\'re very lovely =]
I\\\'m glad you liked it.
I\\\'ve extended it and I\\\'ll be posting that in a little while
I have considered it and when I get some inspiration, I\\\'m going to give it go =]
Thank you again, very much appreciated, I hope you read and enjoy the new version when it\\\'s out
spam_up_sam x Report Review
I love your writing it's beautiful and you should get your own website to post it or something.Author's Response: Aww thank you, that's a very lovely thing to say
I might get a live journal, I'm debating lol =]
Thank you for the review, made me day it did! Report Review
Hmmm... I want to know more about what came before this, like how they fell in love but she got engaged to someone else; and I want to know more about what comes afterwards.
You might set the flashbacks off, somehow, either with lines or italics or something. I almost thought their one fling was in the present after the party at the bar. At any rate, the language is really compelling and pulled me right into the story.Author's Response: I'm going to look back over it when my exams are finished and I can give it the time it needs
I'll definitely take your advice though because you're right =]
The version I posted I think was quite rough still so yeah thanks for the tips about italics and I'm going to put in some back ground information as well
You've really helped me, lovely advice dear
Thank you for the review and for reading
Greatly appreciated you lovely person you =] Report Review
loved it! very well written, you had some amazing descriptions in there and it was very original, i definately see the kings of leon influence in there! great job, though i did feel the ending was slightly anti-climatic! Regardless, 10 out of 10!Author's Response: Thank you!
Good old Kings of leon, getting me through my exams and at the same time providing inspiration
Aha I'm glad you like it
And yes, I agree about the ending, I'm going to go back redo it when college finishes and I'm not thinking of Marxism non stop lol
Thank you for the lovely review and the advice
Very much appreciated =] Report Review
I really like it the description and metaphor of fire is ecellent. I like the ending to it links well.Author's Response: I'm extremely glad you like it
I just had this link with rose and fire for some reason, no idea why, one of those random ideas i suppose
And thank you very much for the review, it's greatly appreciated
Thankss! =] Report Review
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