What a place to stop. Yet they all know why they are there and together. It occurred to me that James and Lily didn't see their dead bodies when they awoke, because their bodies had been buried. And Sirius simply didn't look. I'm glad they remember being together in Heaven. So I do hope you have the next chapter ready for post. Even though I know what happens for Harry, I can't wait to see what James, Lily and Sirius's reaction to what Harry has become. I will be watching.
FoMAuthor's Response: Unfortunately, this is the end. I didn't really want to go on as the books explain what happens from here and it would just be repetitive. Plus, I feel Jo told it best. Sirius had fallen through the veil two years previously, so there was no body there, either. Thank you so much for coming back to this story, and I hope you're not too disappointed that there is no more. Report Review
And still Sirius won't admit it. But he still has to know something isn't right. Remus will come and tell them the truth. Only you know where they will go from there. I am riveted. So I must go on.
FoM Report Review
So it was Remus who looked and saw his own body and knew he was dead, but had something left to do. Maybe it is because of what all he was that allowed him to see so clearly. He also "awoke" soon after he died. I expect the rest will show up soon. It is almost time to meet Harry in the Forest. Then he will be with Dora,
PS With each awakening my heart hurts again. Report Review
It seems that Sirius is having more doubts that James and Lily do. Perhaps it's because he knows they died and what had happened to Harry after. I am getting very anxious here. So I must continue to see what happens next.
FoMAuthor's Response: Thank you for the review, again! It's so wonderful to have received so many :) Report Review
I'm not sure why it doesn't occur to Sirius just why he is "invisable" to those at the Ministry. It will. I think he's going to go straight to Hogwarts. My guess is that this is happening just before the Battle, as Thicknesse and Yaxley are still at the Ministry. I know they were both there. My heart is pounding, so I must go to the next.
FoMAuthor's Response: The reason Sirius doesn't realise what is happening is because it's completely not what you'd expect to happen. He lives in a magical world where people can become invisible. That he's dead really doesn't occur to him. Thank you for the review :) Report Review
I was about to correct you as far as Dolorous Place beingthe HQ for the Order. But that's where it probably was when Voldemort struck the Potters down. I think they both have an idea of what happened (that they are dead). But neither wants to voice it. I can't imagine what they will find when they get to Hogwarts. Perhaps one of the resident spirits will clue them in. I must go on.
FoMAuthor's Response: Just. thank you for coming back to review after so long. It really means a lot that you're still interesting in reading even though it's taken me so long to post this. Going back, I probably wouldn't have had Dolorous Place as the Order location, but back then, as it wasn't specified where the first Order Headquarters, so I made it up. Thanks for the review! Report Review
The anticipation is eating me away! I can't wait for the next chapter. You really know how to keep a reader on their toes!(:Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! Last chapter is now up, I hope you enjoy. Thank you for reading and I'm glad you liked it. Report Review
Please continue! I'm in love with this story!Author's Response: We're nearing the end now, but chapter will be in the queue by tonight. Thank you so much for the review! Report Review
Oh I love it! D: This story is umbelievably exciting! I can't wait for the next chapter, hope you put it up soon? 8)Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! I'm so glad you like it. The next chapter is in the queue now. Sarah x Report Review
There was something very simple yet heart breaking in your first chapter. There wasn't a lot to it, but it still achieved the same effect.
I believe I see where this story is going, but it's still interesting. At first I thought that they honestly would return, but after Sirius' discovery that he was all but invisible, I think it's just their ghost form and their perspective as Harry embarks on his journey to destroy Voldemort.
It's well written though I think there are marked improvements between the first three chapters and the latter three chapters. The first chapters concerning the Potters and Sirius did a good job of capturing their confusion, but I felt like your descriptions were repetitive. There was ivy everywhere and Sirius was mad are two very crude summaries of it, but that's all I garnered from the descriptions. I think your writing really improved in chapters 4-6 as opposed to 2 and 3.
I think it's stylistic and I admit I'm not the best source for grammar checks, but the heavy use of semi-colons contribute to the descriptions beating me over the head. It reads off as 'list-y' if that makes any sense and distracts me from the more compelling narrative you write. Instead of so many semi-colons, perhaps your sentences can flow with descriptions that seem more natural and not as bullet point.
Your characterizations are spot on save for one James moment I found peculiar (honestly James, your son is missing and Voldemort just invaded your home and you just had to think about Quidditch!?). Lily's levelheadedness is particularly on point as well as Sirius' rage. Aside from that, there's very little else I can say as the story is still in the discovery phase.
The one thing I also struggle with is dialogue when the characters are in a new place. It feels so much like, "What's wrong? What are we doing here?" and tends to be a bit tedious to read and probably to write. I have the same problem. I didn't like a lot of things that JK did with the book, but she was always excellent and introducing new locales without the dialogue being so redundant. I don't have a lot of advice as to how to improve the dialogue in this case as I'm still searching for answers myself, but it's something you should take into consideration.
Overall, I think your writing improved tremendously as the chapters developed and while information is scarce, I am interested in how they came to be in this time and what exactly their purpose is.Author's Response: Thank you so much for this. You've given me a lot to work on, most of the things I knew about, but some things I didn't (cannot remember the James Quidditch incident, I wrote this thing years ago, but I agree!). You've been very helpful, thanks! Report Review
I really like this story! I have gotten all into it now that you have made five chapter! Can you plz write more! I really like it and would love to read more! :) Report Review
I love it! It's so wonderful, I can't wait to read more! I'll be looking for your updates! Report Review
are u going to continue it please Report Review
OMG AMAZIN i love this Best story i've read so farrr :) plz uppdate soonn i love it xAuthor's Response: Thanks very much for reading, next chapter is in the que =) Report Review
Great story telling, amazing dialogue and your humour is just an amazing thing. I love the story and hope that you continue.
Anonymous Writer.Author's Response: Thanks very much, and yes, the story will continue :) Report Review
Oh my. I can't imagine what they'll find. Obviously they don't know what year their in. Or are their memories of being dead gone? They're in for a rude awakening. I can't wait for the next.Author's Response: Thanks very much for all your reviews so far, I'm glad your liking it. All your questions will be answered in due course :) Report Review
He's in the between, probably because his whole body went through the veil. Something will happen, I just don't have the faintest idea what. If anybody could have come back, I would have loved it to be Sirius. But as we saw in DH, he is gone. A very intriguing chapter. Report Review
OMG, Did the stone actually bring them back to life? If it did what about Sirius and Remus and Tonks? I know Tonks wasn't brought to the forest by Harry, but if Remus is alive so must Tonks. Ooooh the possibilities this brings. Hurry with an update. Very Good!Author's Response: Hah, wow. This story was posted on fanfiction dot net a while ago, and nobody there came to that conclusion as quick as you! Well done, and thanks for reviewing. Report Review
A well written piece, I'm looking forward to seeing how it grows, I'm a little confused at the moment as- from the synopsis at the beginning- I didn't think they did survive- I thought the stone had brought them all back- unless they did actually survive and them coming out of the forest with Harry was not related to the stone at all...hmmm...I look forward to finding out! Thanks for sharing xxAuthor's Response: Thanks very much for reviewing. I'm really sorry, I can't help with the confusion because it would ruin the whole story. But you're on the right lines with one of the theories you put foreward. Thanks again. Report Review
You've wrote the part of the story we know so well. I suppose this is needed for what's to happen. That was a really great part of DH. You've given us a slice of the "normal" life Harry once had. Thank you!Author's Response: Thanks for reading, and replying. It was very sad when I was writing it, knowing that it would all soon be over for Harry, but it had to happen I suppose. Report Review
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