WOW! i love this story! its great, i only have one thing to say. I would really like it if you brought cedric into it more. i think you should definately make him a main character! Report Review
Hi :) I used to post reviews as Sammie but I FINALLY made an account haha
I'm really glad you updated :) It's a really good chapter! It's nice seeing some of Hailey's family dynamic and how her and her sister seem to manage to get along when Tait's there :P
You were right I don't think it sounded particularly like her in this chapter (she seemed to be a missing a bit of that spark/pluck that's been so obvious in other chapters) but I actually think it's a nice change to see her with her guards down and not raising to the challenge every time Oliver opens his mouth haha :P
One thing I'm not so sure about (but this could be just my preference) is her and George acting all lovey dovey. It's probably just me but I'm not a big fan of the whole cutsie romance thing! I mean don't get me wrong I love reading romance but I just don't want their relationship to be drowned by it if you get what I mean :)
Keep writing cause I'm still a strong believer in this story so I'll keep checking for updates! Keep up the awesome writing and I look forward to the next chapter!! :D
PurpleMoors :) Report Review
Hello! Back again :)
Do I sense a ickle crush here ;) ('And suddenly, with George’s smile, my heart seems to go into overtime')
Anyways, who knew Oliver could get so angry? And what was up with the whole backed up against the wall thing? Oliver, you need to learn the concept of personal space.
I really liked the descriptions of Hailey's feeling when Oliver was doing his schpiel. How she was so nervous yet angry at the same time. It was like I could feel what she was feeling!
Also, I can't wait to find out what happens during the tryouts next time. I totally feel like she's gonna do something drastic and Wood'll kick her off the team (meh, wouldn't put it past him)
Bye till the next chapter!
-Sankavi ^_^ Report Review
Hello! I'm Sankavi, here from the BvB (yay team blue!).
The first thing that came to mind when reading this was why is she so angry at Wood? Like, is there some other backstory that'll come up later or is it just because Wood acts like a poo to her on the pitch? I think it's a great way to start the story because it's like you're starting in the middle of the action.
I also really like the group of friends you've got going. The way Angie, Alicia, and Katie interact with Hailey is really nice to read. They sound so close!
I think this is really nice start to your story and sets it up for quite a lot of conflict. Can't wait to see what happens in the broom shed ;)
-Sankavi ^_^ Report Review
I guess I spoke too soon about getting a punch in, huh? Good for her.
It makes me sad that she would even believe Wood that George was using her, and I hope that he said that because he's jealous George got to her first. But part of me is nervous that there's a little bit of truth to it. I don't know. I'm going to hope Georgie is telling the truth.
And once again, Wood ruins everything. Ugh, that boy needs to pull his broomstick out of his...yeah. Jerkface. I can't believe how much you've made me dislike Wood in so few chapters. Report Review
Ouch. Those injuries sound painful. And Wood finally showing some concern about her! I don't know why George didn't offer to carry her the whole way to the Hospital Wing. :P Poor girl. I think Quidditch sounds like so much fun but then you think about how high off the ground you are and what a fall to the ground could do to you. Terrifying!
Ughh, Wood is so frustrating! Seriously! He's the biggest jerk there is. I don't blame Hailey for putting a wand to his throat. I'd have killed him by now, for sure! I don't know how she puts up with his crap the way she does. I mean, I know they fight but that girl has amazing restraint. Some of the things Wood has said to her would have had me throwing punches, haha. I hope Hailey doesn't get another detention from Snape.. Report Review
AWWW, I KNEW it. They're so cute and gah, I'm all happy and mushy inside knowing they're going to Hogsmeade together. They're just enough awkward too. It's precious.
Ugh, Wood ruins everything. Seriously. I've been waiting for George and Hailey to kiss. I was hoping Wood would walk in on them kissing. Ha. 5:30am practice sounds brutal. No thanks.
Heh, I love how excited all the girls are about George asking Hailey to Hogsmeade. It's really sweet to have such good friends. :)
Wood is still antagonistic as ever, lovely. But ooh, that cliffhanger! That's going to kill me. I bet George is a nervous wreck, haha. Maybe their feelings will be revealed and Wood will get all pissy! That would be fun. Report Review
Ha, a Quidditch fight. Geez. There is a lot of tension on that team. Maybe they all just needed to get all that frustration out and things will be fine after that.
Fred is such a creeper! I bet he read the entire thing, though I didn't really see anything incriminating in that entry. It makes me wonder if he'll try to steal her diary or something.
Ahah, when the Veritaserum came out, I KNEW something like this would happen. I didn't expect Katie to come out though! Ooh, the questioning will be good, that's for sure. I wonder if they'll both admit their feelings for each other! George was obviously angry that someone accidentally punched her and I've been saying it that he is SO obvious about his attraction to her...now they just need to come clean to each other about it! Next chapter should be a doozy. Report Review
Sorry for the delay in your reviews, I'm a sucky Secret Santa.
I really like George and Hailey's interactions. I don't think I mentioned it before, but I like the nickname Hail Storm. It's cute and clever. Poor George really likes Hailey, hm? He was really concerned about the detention and being behind it. I wish I could have seen more of the love potion on Wood, that would have been funny.
Geez, seriously, Wood and Hailey cannot be in the same room without starting a fight, can they? Wood just frustrates me beyond belief! I can't believe he would stoop so low as to accuse Hailey as being a slacker and relying on friends to help her pass classes. I think that their discord could make for some great passion if they finally get together (that's what I like about love-hate romances, even if they are cliche) but Wood's antagonist remarks are somewhat cruel. I guess that's why I'm sort of rooting for George and Hailey now, hah.
I can't wait for the prank. I bet it'll be epic.
Ooh, finally, not trying to rip each other's throats out during detention. That's a welcome relief, but it does seem strange for them to be in the same room and to not be yelling at each other. Hopefully this is a step in the right direction. I really want Wood to stop being a huge jerk. He's too cute for that. Report Review
Well, I'm glad that Hailey and George didn't die. Actually, George being all cheerful and shirtless was quite nice. I liked that he encouraged her to keep going. It was really sweet of him. :)
Hah, secret meetings on the third floor and Mark just overhearing their conversation. Silly girls. Nothing is secret if you're going to talk about it in the open.
I LOVE that George and Fred wanted Hailey to use the potion on Wood. Though it would've been cute if Hailey took it and proclaimed her love for George...even if it was the potion talking. ;)
I wonder if Snape will give Wood the antidote and if Wood will find out what happened! Hm, so many questions I suppose I will only find the answer to in future chapters! Report Review
Ugh, THEY WERE ABOUT TO KISS, WOOD. Thanks for ruining the moment.
Aw, George to the rescue! It was sweet of him to stand up for Hailey and to point out to Wood that she's only one that ever has to suffer his punishments, but like Hailey said, kind of stupid. I'm glad she didn't get into anymore trouble, having George defend her like that. It is frustrating, though, that Wood would assume Hailey asked him to fight her battles for her. Doesn't Wood know her by now to know that she wouldn't back down anyway? She fights her own battles with her sarcasm quite well, I think, even if Wood is a jerk about it.
Well, at least Hailey doesn't have to die alone. That practice sounds brutal. Hopefully without his Seeker and Beater in practice, Wood will realize how much he needs them and stop making them do stupid punishments for "stepping out of line." He's taking his captain thing way too seriously for me! Report Review
Ahh, George and Hailey are so stinkin' cute together. I love how protective of her she is. To be fair, Wood's punishment DOES seem a bit out of line, and that's a lot of running. If I was her, I'd say screw it and just quit. See what Wood would do about all those threats that he would have a Seeker to replace her anyway.
OF COURSE he would be her partner in Advanced Potions! I hope she can see a different side of him in class, though knowing the two of them, it will probably be a bunch of drama and head-butting (figuratively, of course.) This should be interesting.
I'm still internally squeeing about how cute George is, though. I'm curious how you're going to tie all this together and I bet there will be lots of boy drama. Yay.
I'm glad you didn't have Hailey repeat what happened at tryouts again. I think that was my only qualm about the previous chapter, having to read what happened again. It just seemed a tad bit unnecessary, so it was nice that you had Hailey brush Alicia off.
Off to the next chapter to see how Wood handles being Hailey's new Potions partner! Hehehe. Poor guy. Report Review
Ooh, Wood is SO infuriating. I like that he wants to get her alone but does he have to be such a jerk about it?! He just wants to get a rise out of her, but he's not coming across as a nice guy and if he IS attracted to her, he needs to cool his jets. She'll eat him alive.
I thought Hailey did a good job at tryouts and like before, I like that you show the actual athleticism aspects of the sport. Having to do warmups, and doing suicides, because even though Quidditch is played on brooms, you still need to be in shape. I think Wood needs to start coming up with better reasons to reprimand her, though. And questioning her skills as a Seeker? Too far, man!
If this is an Oliver/OC fic, you aren't making it easy to like Oliver, that's for sure!
I'm sorry for the short reviews, but I do have a busy couple of days ahead of me and want to make sure you get your reviews while I have the time. I hope you don't mind. :) Looking forward to seeing more drama between those two hotheads. Report Review
Hi! I am so sorry for the delay in your reviews. Things got busy and then with the archive down, I haven't had a chance. I hope to make it up to you for this round.
Ooh, this chapter was just so full of tension! Wood makes me want to punch him in the face. I'm not sure if that's intentional or I'm picking up on how uncomfortable and angry he makes Hailey. I really enjoyed that I could picture Wood in all his cocky ways as he inched Hailey closer and closer to the shed up until the point where he had her pinned there. Of course sometimes I am a sucker for cliches so I was silently rooting for them to just kiss even though I was really annoyed with Wood.
I love that the twins broke Wood out of his focus and that little quip about their hatred and how their position looked to outsiders. George is so cute, with his concern and all that. Maybe this will be a George/Hailey fic! ;)
I can't wait to see how Hailey behaves at tryouts, if she takes Oliver's threats to heart. It should be very interesting, indeed! Report Review
Hi, it's your Ravenclaw Secret Santa! I'm sorry for not getting to your reviews sooner - it was finals week!
I haven't read an Oliver/OC fic before so I thought this looked like a cute story that I might enjoy for my first foray into this ship.
I really like the premise so far. Oliver is hilarious with how much of a tyrant he is when it comes to the team. I love how he picks on Hailey and it's so obvious to her friends that he targets her. Don't they always say boys pick on girls they have crushes on? ;)
I love Hailey's sarcasm. She's so snarky and I really enjoy reading her inner-thoughts when it comes to Oliver. It makes me laugh.
All your characters are great so far. I love Angie and Fred and your dialogue is natural between friends. It's not too stuffy or anything like that, which is nice.
I also think you did a good job describing a sports practice. You didn't gloss over the not-so pretty details about it - sports are hard, and some people might think Quidditch is easy and all you do is fly around on a broom, but it definitely takes a certain level of athleticism and having them do normal things like suicides and cool downs, etc. really adds authenticity to it.
I'm super curious what Oliver wants with Hailey now! He just can't give that girl a moment of peace, huh? I'm going to be leaving you reviews throughout this Secret Santa thing so keep an eye out. :) Report Review
Lucky me, I found an Oliver/OC at the review swap! :D
I have to say, it makes total sense for Hailey to be interested in George, as they both seem to love making Oliver's life hell! She must be a really, really good Seeker or I have the feeling he wouldn't put up with her undermining his authority. Or maybe he really does just have a crush on her!
I think Angelina would look cool with a pink streak in her hair, personally ;) I think you did a really good representation of practice; including all the agony of Hailey's suicides, the laps on brooms, the stretching, the endless critiques from Wood... I feel exhausted just sitting and reading it! The fact that Hailey is just wearing a sweater and trainers and such, rather than trying to doll herself up, adds to her character as an athlete as well.
Uh-oh. She's in trouble. Heheh. I'm curious to know how to pronounce her name, though, in my head I'm saying tea-zon, although I have a pretty firm belief that it's wrong XD
Nice first chapter! I love your characterization of Wood as the strict, serious Quidditch captain rather than the heartbreaker. :) Report Review
So, I was glancing through the reviews threads and I was like WAIT A MINUTE THERE'S BEEN AN UPDATE OF OBLIVIOUS so now I'm not up to date with reading and reviewing! And although my christmas holidays haven't quite starting, winding down isn't so much the word as being just slightly off completely stationary in terms of things I have to do. Oh, to have time!
So, this chapter. Well, it just made me feel really christmassy and lovely which was nice, because I haven't even got an advent calendar so Christmas doesn't feel all that close from my end. I really enjoyed the argument between Hailey and her sister, as it definitely seems like the sort of thing siblings argue about aaal the time, and the re-arrival of Tait.
One of the things that I really like about this story is the fact that, at the beginning, I was sure that this was going to be a full blown standard Oliver/OC (and I'm still waiting for that to creep in), but you've developed this lovely and unprecedented relationship between Hailey/George that I'm really behind. So I honestly have no idea where you're going to go with the rest of this story :P
One thing, I always think that writing seems smoother when numbers are written out in word form rather than numerical form. Like two instead of 2, I've always thought that it reads better and seems less... like jarring when a number is written as a word. But that's a really small thing.
Happy writing! Can't wait for the next update :)
-AC Report Review
I love the humor in this story! I actually like laugh unlike other times when I'm just kinda like 'haha' in my head. So I'm guessing we're gonna see something with Wood for the rest of the break? Please update soon! Report Review
Yay you updated! I like it :) A bit of fluff is just what you need sometimes! Can't wait to read those other chapters you have waiting.
I esspecially liked the “Okay, would you believe that I spent most of the time on my butt, rather than my feet?” bit. It made me laugh.
Looking forward to some Christmassy fun! Exactly the right time of year for it to :) Report Review
So I think you've set up a good classic love/hate relationship here, which I always love, because they're just fun to read.
One thing I do see in the love/hate things a lot is that somoewhere in the story, the girl just suddenly notices the guy and how incredibly amazing he is. That's one of the biggest mistakes you could make, I think. You just need to make sure that it's a gradual thing, and I think you'll be good :)
I love the story, and will continue reading. Right now. Just because. Yes.Author's Response: Hello!
Ahhh, thanks! I was thinking a love/hate relationship was over doing the cliche, but as soon as I got into it, I realized all I had to do was make it original.
And I am *hoping* that it doesn't appear as though Hailey just suddenly realizes he's there and amazing. I think with how the rest of the story is plotted, it'll work out, but I guess I'll have to wait and see.
But I'm glad you love the story. It was fun to write and I hope to see you back reading more soon! Thanks for the review!
~Grimmerz Report Review
Hello there! So I haven't read and reviewed this for ages and it was nice to come back and see how Storm and George are doing (okay, the whole Hail thing only just hit me and that IS cute I was thinking about what a cool idea for a necklace it was and it turned out to be a double layer of cuteness what with HAIL yeah, I get that. Niceee).
And yeah this was a lovely update and well, guess I'm all caught up and can now properly nag you for an update yeah? It's bee a fun journey!
-ACAuthor's Response: Hello! It's nice to see you're back to read a little bit more of Hailey and George.
Hehe...I'm glad you liked the whole hail necklace thing. I thought it was adorable and I'm glad you caught on to why it was her present ;D [Not to say I wasn't confused when my sister first gave me the idea :P]
But yes, you are caught up. And can properly nag. And I encourage you to do so as I've been uber lazy by not writing or updating. xD
Glad you've been around for the journey and have enjoyed it! Hopefully I'll be updating soon and seeing you back for another chapter! :D
~Grimmerz Report Review
I hate to bother you cause I know you've probably lost interest in this story or something but I was wondering if you've abandoned it or if you're going to update it? It'd be a real shame if you've abandoned it cause I really enjoy this story and I think it's got a good, interesting plot going on. Just thought I'd put my two cents in and let you know that me at least is still checking this story for updates :)
Just curious so I thought I'd ask :)Author's Response: Hello!
I know I haven't updated since January and I am super super sorry about that! But never fear, I have not given up on this story! Not even in the least bit! First it was school taking my time and then some personal matters and work and then more school...but really, I'm working on it! I have the next chapter 40% done or so and I'm planning on writing this story during November for NaNo with the hopes of finishing it. So Don't give up on it yet. I'm looking to complete and post this started chapter by the end of the month and I just thank you for sticking with me!
Thanks for the review! It's always a good kick to get me writing!
~Grimmerz Report Review
Awww, I wanted Hailey to visit the Weasleys!!! :( .But I can't wait to see what you've planned for Hailey and Wood! Bring on the arguments!!! :P
~ParvatiAuthor's Response: Haha, yeah, I debated sending Hailey to the Weasley's for the holidays because I know it would've been fun, but I have some other interesting things awaiting Hailey. And Wood, of course. Which, you know, include arguements and brothers, and some other fun stuff! Hehe, thanks for the review!
~Grimmerz Report Review
This is a really good story!!! I love it and you have to update soon!!! George is so cute!!! And I don't know how you came up with the idea of the necklace, but both of the necklaces were really original and I liked them alot.Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed this story! It's plot has changed so many times over and things I didn't expect to happen, happened but I do love this story. I'm glad you liked the idea of the necklaces, and if I'm honest, I still don't know how I came up with the ideas...my sister helped with some of the brainstorming and they just sort of came out of it. I'm really glad you liked them! Thanks so much for the review!
~Grimmerz Report Review
Please please please update soon! I love this story so much! I started reading it last year and since the last chapter I've been checking every day for updates!
I love reading stories about Oliver but I can never find any. This is definitely my favourite fanfiction. I really want Hailey and Oliver to get together but I also really like George and I don't want him to get hurt or to end up being an arse! I just can't decide what I want to happen but I'm looking forward to reading about it nonetheless!
Again, great story! Love it!Author's Response: Ahhh! Thank you so much for the lovely review! I originally started writing this story because I just couldn't find many stories with Oliver as a main character. Then this whole story unfolded and I really am in love with it. And George is really fantastic.it will be a difficult choice eventually, whether it be Oliver or George...but I am in the process of writing some more chapters, now that the insanity of the last two months are over, so hopefully I'll finally have some updates! Thanks again for the lovely review! It was great! :D
~Grimmerz Report Review
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