Reading Reviews for Love, Not War
497 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MrsJaydeMalfoy The Truth

19th April 2016:
REVIEW NUMBER 500!! YAY!!! And it also just so happens to be the first review on this chapter, so DOUBLE YAY!!

I really love the bonding between Draco and Roxi here, even though it doesn't really seem like bonding. (They're madly in love, they just haven't admitted it yet!) XD

It seems like Roxi is able to see right through Draco, and I think it's good for him to have someone like that in his life. She's a bit like Saleena - she won't back down until she gets to the bottom of what's bothering him, she won't let him just wander off to be by himself, and that's what he really needs, whether he thinks so or not.

I definitely felt like those two cleared the air a bit, and you could really feel the mood shift between them towards the end of the chapter... IT'S LOVE! :P (Okay, I know I'm jumping the gun, but anyways) :D

It's great that he was at least able to thank her for what she did!

And that last little paragraph filled me with hope, but also with dread... first off, to see Draco excited to be spending more time with Roxi was, of course, squee-worthy! But, 'everyone was safe FOR THE MOMENT' just makes me shudder... dun dun DUNN!

Another wonderfully written chapter and I can't wait to see where you take this from here! I'ma need you to get on the next chapter now plz. :D

*Squish* SURPRISE! And congratulations on reaching 500 reviews!!! ♥

 Report Review

Review #2, by MrsJaydeMalfoy Captive

19th April 2016:
499! So close to 500!!

Okay, so I really just wanted to yell at Roxi when she did this. I mean, come ON! Like Tonks said, has she learned nothing! It really does go to show how young she is, and how inexperienced as well. I mean, she's willing to risk being captured just to look at him. *Shakes head*

And, well, Percy's cat's out of the bag now, isn't it. *Sighs* At this point he's just not showing any remorse at all, and I just finished reviewing chapter two of his story, so I can't help but wonder how he got from that point of uncertainty to this point of just pure HATRED. :(

Seeing Lucius in his condition, hearing his words about only wanting to save Draco, is just really heartbreaking. He's really hard to relate to in the books, but you've definitely made it easier to see things from his point of view here, and that's saying something!

Well done, dear! *squish*

 Report Review

Review #3, by MrsJaydeMalfoy False Accusations

19th April 2016:
Review No. 498!! :D

I really like the first half of this chapter because it really shows how close Saleena and Draco have gotten in the time she's been taking care of him. Not only does he know about her being a gypsy, but he also knows the situation with her family and her people, and he's genuinely concerned for if she's ready for that or not. It's very sweet!

I was glad to see Draco beginning to make a recovery here, and Minerva definitely regained some of my favor when she invited him to join the Order and come to a meeting - it's really great of her to think the best of him and want to include him!

I just LOVE seeing Draco and Roxi's individual reactions to seeing each other for the first time - first Draco can't stop thinking how weird she is, and then it's completely the opposite from Roxi's point of view! :P

And WOW, slow down Neville! I mean, I kind of get the frustration a little, because Draco always WAS pretty awful to him, but still, cut the guy some slack!

I really like how Draco talked some sense into all of them - he has a point! And I think it's very realistic and incredible how his experiences of the past few days and weeks have humbled him considerably - I mean let's face it, he could stand to be taken down a notch or two.. (And I say that in the nicest, most adoring way possible! :P)

Another fabulous chapter, lovely, and now on to the next!!

 Report Review

Review #4, by MrsJaydeMalfoy Trustworthy

19th April 2016:
1 down, 4 to go! :D

Hahaha, I don't know why, but going back and reading Tonks' reaction to finding out that a new metamorphmagus was coming is hilarious to me. Maybe it's because I know Roxi and I know she's not trying to replace anyone, I don't know, but either way, even though I should have been upset right along with Tonks because she was crying, I was just laughing and thinking to myself "Girl, you have nothing to worry about!" :P I can't wait to see Roxi re-enter the picture and see Tonks' reaction again! :P

And I kind of get why Minerva is being so suspicious of Saleena, but at the same time it gets on my nerves a little bit, because we both know that Saleena's not up to anything. I mean, like I said, I understand being cautious and I normally really like Minerva, just a part of me wants her to back off a little bit.

And that last line was REALLY powerful - she's never been afraid of anything, and for the first time, she's afraid. It makes me afraid right along with her!

Great job, lovely! ♥

 Report Review

Review #5, by MrsJaydeMalfoy Under Arrest

19th April 2016:
How about we get you up to 500 reviews on this today, how does that sound? I think yes! :D

It's been a while so I had to skim back over this to remind myself what happened :P But, something I definitely remember is being SO MAD AT PERCY ugh!! Just sitting there with a smug look on his face about potentially getting his mother in a lot of trouble. *narrows eyes* You really did a great job of making me hate him here!! (I mean that in the best way possible!! :P)

Also, I remember being frustrated with Scrimgeour's stubbornness, he just refuses to see what's right in front of him, and that's what HAS caused (and will cause) SO many problems! He's a lot like Fudge in that way, and you did an excellent job of showing that here!

I loved seeing Draco talking some sense into him, and I also loved seeing Saleena stand up to him! She's very passionate and determined - she's an excellent strong, female character in this and very admirable!

Well done with this chapter, and I'm off to catch up on the others I'd missed!! :D

 Report Review

Review #6, by Gabriella Hunter Captive

11th April 2016:
Hello! >:)

This is Gabbie from the forums here with your review and I can't tell you how exciting it is for me to back and reading this! Thank you a thousand times for the great review you left for "Grey". It was beyond fantastic and I've missed you a ton! *Squish*

I fell right into this story from the very first paragraph and even though it's been a while since I've read this story, I remembered nearly everything from the previous chapters.

I was so happy to see that you were back to updating again too!

I didn't even need to do a refresher on anything that had happened because this story was just so rich and addicting. :D

So, the first part of this chapter really had me tense with fear for our heroes! I didn't know what was going to happen and I was terrified that Voldemort was just going to break through the wards and kill the whole family.

I think that you did a great job building the suspense in this moment too, especially how you wrote Draco and Roxie. I liked that we got just a bit more from them on the possibility that they might become a couple or close friends later on.

Draco has every right to be concerned about the situation that he's in too and I really loved the way you wrote his conflicting emotions.

I was so nervous for them and unsure what was going to happen next but I think I freaked out when Roxie went out there! It's so reckless of her but I have to say that she's got guts.

I relaxed a bit more when Arthur and the others said that there were a lot of spells around the house though but I still got a bad feeling. When you switched over to Voldemort's POV, I was really, really freaking out!

I have to say that you wrote him very well here too. He's a character that I've personally never written because he's so complex but I liked the balance of coldness, evil and conniving attitude that you gave him.

That's not an easy thing to write at all and I could feel the Death Eater's fear when they were around him. It was almost painful! The fact that Percy is still following them makes me so angry but at the same time, I think it's great stuff for the plot.

The betrayal, arrogance and doubt that's going through Percy at this moment is really compelling to read. I thought that he would come to his senses during this but it seems like he's going to stubbornly stay where he is. That bothers me and I hope that his family doesn't completely give up on him the way Percy has given up on himself.

But on to the last few bits of this chapter! What?! I didn't think that Roxie would get captured when I realized that she was well protected near the house but that fire ruined everything! Fire is bad!

Voldemort is such a hideous beast too, thinking that he can guilt Draco into surrendering in order to free Roxie. I do wonder what the family will do though now that she's been kidnapped! I can't wait to read more about that later on but for now, Roxie is stuck locked in a place with Lucius Malfoy!

I thought that his reveal was excellent! He's this broken down caricature of his former self and the desperation coming from him just felt so real. I thought the fear and bravado in Roxie was well-done, though I do wonder what the two of them will do now that Lucius has revealed himself. Hmmm.

Anyway, thanks for the awesome chapter and I hope I see you around again soon! This was such a delight to read!

Much love,


 Report Review

Review #7, by Tangoo |Chapter 30| From One Prison to the Next

3rd April 2016:
Hi there! I am really liking your chapters so far, and although I am only on this chapter I think that it is really good, when you read this you may even be done the book but anyway. Hope you are having a great day

 Report Review

Review #8, by StarFeather Prolouge: Blessed With a Son

9th February 2016:
Hi, Deana! Team Red for Gryffindor Review Battle!

Most of this chapter consist of the conversation between Lucius and Narcissa. I felt like I was watching them on the stage of theater. Though the scene of Voldemort is very short but the impact is big. He is so selfish, envious to anything and doesn't know love. If my child were to be like Draco, I'll shudder like Lucius, too. I didn't read that Lucius Malfoy behaves like he is brave, before, so your creation is new to me.

The impressive scene is when his baby Draco smiled at him. In the real world, I think a baby can't smile, you may know a baby can't see well after the birth soon but it's a magical world, so I think it's okay and it's rather heartwarming.

I'm curious how you are ready for the next plot.


 Report Review

Review #9, by Aphoride Prolouge: Blessed With a Son

3rd February 2016:
Hey there, again! :) Dropping by for our multi-chapter review swap!

I really liked that you went so far back in time to give a glimpse of life at the very beginning of it all for Draco, and for his parents. It sets things up so well for the rest of the story, and gives such a great platform for the rest of it to come in on - plus, I really liked how it gave us a glimpse of a different side to Lucius, in particular, especially after how Draco saw him in the first one. It was a real study in contrasts, and I loved that you included it - it works really well to give us such a rounded idea of the characters at the very beginning of the story.

I loved the whole idea of this, too, with Voldemort hating the fact that Draco was born because it distracted one of his inner circle - it's pretty true to his character, how he doesn't consider things like love and family because they just don't occur to him as anything other than almost burdens, because he has no way of understanding them. The way he dealt with it was so cruel and so horrible, but so expected, in that sense, I guess :P Gah, poor Draco - but poor Luicus and Narcissa, too! It really adds this whole layer to Draco's situation and his relationship with Lucius, knowing that this all started so long before anything, and probably completely defined their relationship. It's gonna be interesting to see how and where you take this ;)

Your writing in this is so lovely - though there were a few grammar mistakes I spotted ;) Maybe go through it again, or get a beta to check it over for errors? They're not that significant, but it was jolting a few times, so it'd stop that ;) But the emotions in this were so great - Narcissa's pain and anguish especially were so strong and so real, it was so lovely to read! :)

This is a great start, and I'm so looking forward to reading more! :D

Aph xx

 Report Review

Review #10, by Aphoride Draco's Introduction

1st February 2016:
Hey there, Roxi! :) Dropping by for the first of our multi-chapter review swap! :D

You know, I was so sure I'd reviewed the first chapter of this before, but apparently not... Anyway, I'm here now! :)

So I really love the concept of this - Draco's story, told from his pov, through the war and his life in general. I love that you've used first person for this - it works so well, and gives so much more depth to this, I think, than you'd have got any other way. Plus it works so well with the informal style of writing you use here, too, and develops Draco's character more than what we see in the books.

The mentions of his parents and general background were so good - I don't usually like 'info dump' chapters and things, but tbh this worked really well. It's very introduction'y, but it's meant to be, you know, and there's still this lovely twist of bitterness through it, and little hints about what to expect later: Lucius' coldness and obsession with perfection and showing no weakness, Narcissa's softer, warmer side, the constant mentions of Voldemort, the growing up not being allowed to ask questions - which is a surprisingly similar existence to Harry's, in ways, in that Petunia didn't allow him to do that either, and eventually he stopped asking most things...

Really as an introduction, it works so perfectly :)

Your characterisation of Draco is great, too. I love how you kind of get around the honesty question by using first person tell-all, haha - I do it too! ;) - and I like how contemplative the whole feeling of this is, it really feels like he's writing this, or saying this to someone, you know? And that's what first person really needs to work :) Your writing is so lovely - you've got the informal, personal kinda voice down so well, and it reads so fluidly and easily, it's so great :)

This is a lovely, lovely beginning, and I'll be back soon! ;)

Aph xx

 Report Review

Review #11, by StarFeather Draco's Introduction

29th January 2016:
Hi, Deana! Gryffindor Review Battle, Team Red!

Reading the first thoughts by Draco, I remebered the book 2 where his father entered in such a charismatic way. I think the authors can't resist writing about him. I also tried writing about him in my first story at HPFF. You write this story from Draco'S POV, which is also interesting. His view is rather cool, I enjoyed it.

It must be so frustrating that his own father had never evaluated his son right. He used to be proud of his father, but it's quite understandable that he eventually felt like "No more Malfoy pride".

Just my opinion, Lucius Malfoy loved his son. We can find it in the book 7 but it's possible that he behaved like you wrote in this chapter in the earlier days.

Hahaha , lol at your mention, "this is not going to be another story all about Harry Potter. If you want to read about him then go and find another book. There are plenty of them out there all about him. Potter could open his own personal library if he wanted to, and thatís the problem. There are way too many books out there about Harry, Give the boy a break for a change. Donít you think he deserves it? Granted, this story does mention Harry on occasion, but it is not about him. It is about me."

You spared space why you would begin the story with Draco's POV, I think most of us can accept the concept after your much effort to create your own Draco's world. :)


Author's Response: Hello Kenny!! I am so glad to see that you enjoyed Draco's POV in this. The rest of the story is 3rd person, this was just something I was experimenting with at the beginning. I think, at the very end, there will likely be an outro in this same style. But the ending is still a ways off from now, lol! XD

I agree with you that Lucius Malfoy most DEFINITELY loved his son. There are several examples of Lucius' love for Draco all throughout this story, as you will begin to see immediately if you check out the Prologue next... Draco, however, struggles to realize everything that his father was doing "behind the scenes" on his behalf though, so from his POV it may seem a tad biased. And that's what I was really getting at here with this into. Sorry if it puts off the wrong impression. I may have to re-look into updating my wording throughout this intro now, just to clear that up a bit.

I'm glad you enjoyed Draco's quote about Harry opening up his own library at the end, lol. That one is still to this day one of my favorite lines in this while story! I started this thing back in 2008, so it's been an adventure, to say the least. I hope you will continue on and see what comes nect in my version of Draco's world.

Thanks so much for the review, Kenny. I am glad you liked it, and hope that you will read more. I look forwards to hearing your thoughts on the rest if you do. And of course, GO TEAM RED, haha!!! =D

 Report Review

Review #12, by TreacleTart Prolouge: Blessed With a Son

27th January 2016:
Hello again!

Back for another Gryffie Red vs. Gold Review! Go Team Red! Woot! Woot!

Wow. I don't really know where to start with this one. I certainly wasn't expecting any of this when I started reading...which I think is a good thing. I enjoy when a writer catches me off guard.

Let me start by saying that Lucius is one of my least favorite characters because he's cowardly and he drags his son and wife into his sadistic affairs. It's incredibly rare for me to feel sorry for him or understand his actions, but the way you've written him here really made me have some sympathy for him. Brilliant characterization.

The scenario you've presented is just horrific for a multitude of reasons.

First of all, poor Narcissa. Could you imagine being forced to give birth at home and then having some hideous monster like Voldemort rip your baby away from you and threaten to murder it? If that's not clear torture, I don't know what is.

And then threatening to kill a newly born baby. I mean we obviously know he's not above such things since he tries to kill Harry, but it's just so awful reading the actual moment where he tries to murder Draco.

Finally, Lucius is always a proud mad in cannon, so there's something tragic about him snivelling and groveling to keep the dark lord from killing his baby. I don't condone the deal he makes, but it's obviously the only bet he has at keeping his child alive, so I understand it. (And I think that Draco will understand it someday too when he has his own children and would give the world to protect them.)

If you get a chance, you might go back and read through this just to take care of a few typos. There's a few misspelled words and missing words, but nothing catastrophic.

All in all, this is a really interesting start and I think it adds a whole new level of depth to Draco's story. I feel awful for him to be starting his life in such tragic circumstances and it also helps me to understand how he became who he is.

Looking forward to reading more soon!


 Report Review

Review #13, by TreacleTart Draco's Introduction

27th January 2016:
Hello again!

Back for another Gryffindor Red Vs. Gold Review battle! Go Team Red! I know you said you'd prefer reviews on later chapters of this story, but I never read chapters out of order, so I'm going to start here at the beginning and as the battle progresses I'll keep working my way on through.

You really do love Draco, huh? :D No worries. Me too!

This was a really interesting choice of style for this introduction. It's not too often that I see something written where the character is speaking directly to the reader. It adds a really unique layer to this.

I've always had a headcannon that Lucius was a very cold, unloving father as well. While I personally don't see him as outright abusive, I think it's still definitely a believable backstory for how Draco became who he is.

It's interesting as well to see how Lucius' opinions and beliefs affected Draco. Imagine thinking that Voldemort was a good guy until he was old enough to learn better. It must've come as quite a shock when he realized that it wasn't the way it had been portrayed.

As far as CC goes, I did notice a handful of small typos in this, mostly missing words. Nothing that really detracted from the story though.

Good work! Hopefully, I'll be back for the next chapter very soon!


 Report Review

Review #14, by raven |Chapter 34| Freedom Always Comes at A Price

5th May 2015:
Its sooo gud soo far absolutely amazing but I m really desperate to know what happened next.again its amazing

Author's Response: Wow!! Thank you so much for such an encouraging and positive review, raven. I really appreciate you for taking the time to read all of this and then share your thoughts with me at the end... Unfortunately, however, I am in the process of rewriting this story right now tho, and I'm only on chapter 15 at the moment. So it will be a while yet before I get back around to updating this ending portion of the story. I'm sorry, but there are several notes in place here to warn readers when to stop reading ahead, due to the edits. Even the story summary states that this is under major construction right now, and is only updated so far... In the meantime tho, I do have several one-shots that are companion pieces to this Novel up on my author page. They are called: Doing the Right Thing, One Day at a Time, Born to Be a Leader, and Perfect. I would love to hear your thoughts on those as well, if you have the time... Again, I'm terribly sorry for the delay in updates to these later chapters. But if you're ever around on the forums, you're welcome to stop by my author page or PM me at anytime with questions! I love discussing this story with my readers, lol! My username on the forums is RoxiMalfoy. I hope to hear from you again one day, thanks!! =D

 Report Review

Review #15, by pointless_proclamations His Side of the Story

17th April 2015:

I nearly forgot how bold Roxi was. The argument in the beginning was properly tense. You had a really nice balance of dialogue and emotion in there. IT WAS SO TENSE. OH MY GOSH. AMAZING!

"So I did the only irrational thing that I could think of at the time." Do you mean 'rational?'

Deana. Lucius's story! There are actually no words. I could try using 'beautiful and horrible and terrifying and sad' amongst others, but none can convey the anguish packed into that bit.

After that things warmed up a bit and I know how I said that the Saleena/Draco dynamic was my favourite, but the Lucius/Roxi dynamic is really close now. Because they've basically swapped stories and been really honest with each other, it's like they have this deeper understand of each other which leads to this wonderful thing that looks like friendship.


Lastly, the idea of Severus Snape slapping anybody in the face is amusing to me for some reason.


Author's Response: EMILY!! =D

It feels so good to be back, and to see you back here reading & reviewing. I have missed this SO MUCH over the past few months...

Oh gosh, I never really thought of Lucius/Roxi having a dynamic like Draco/Saleena do, but you're absolutely right, haha!! That's a VERY good comparison. Thanks so much for the observation, Em!

And yes, Lucius did actually mean to say "irrational" there. He was being reckless on purpose, lol. Sorry for the confusion that line caused...

So glad to see that Lucius' story is having the desired effect that I had hoped it would have on people here, lol. When I set out writing this story, my goal was to get people to sympathize and feel sorry for the Malfoy's. And this is the first chapter that gives the readers a chance to see what has REALLY been going on, outside of just Draco's perspective. So I was a bit nervous about getting it right and seeing how people would react to it. ^_^'

I'll be honest with you; Lucius' fate has yet to be determined by the end of this story. I've never actually written a draft of the last chapter, because the thought is just SO depressing, lol. But he IS alive as of right now, if that eases your mind any. I will not say "alive and well" however, because he is certainly far from being well. (I'm evil, I know, muwaha!) ;)

And yeah, when you think about it, the scene where Severus slaps Lucius in the face is quite comical, lol! But Lucius literally needed to be slapped out of his own misery there. He was so busy wallowing in pity that he almost missed the fact that there was still tie to save Draco! You'll get to see the dynamic between Snape and Lucius later on as well. :)

Thanks SO MUCH for the awesome and enthusiastic review. It's great to have you back!! Sorry again, for taking SO long to return to this story. But yay, look: you were my first review of 2015!! Love ya, Em!! =D


 Report Review

Review #16, by MadiMalfoy Prolouge: Blessed With a Son

30th December 2014:
Hi there! MadiMalfoy here with your quite overdue review! :)

Wow. This is quite the opening-ish chapter! What a thing to be put on poor infant Draco! Seeing as he is basically my favorite character ever, I'm very curious to see where you go with this! Wonderful characterization of Lucius and Narcissa as well! I despise Voldemort even more than I usually do in fics because you've made him more sick and twisted than canon has him. Having to sign Draco over to the Dark Lord literally minutes after he's born has got to be a wake-up call, and plant the seeds of doubt about Voldemort's ways into Lucius and Narcissa's heads, don't you think? ;)

There was one thing that stuck out to me, however. Lucius and Narcissa's dialogue seems somewhat too colloquial for two purebloods of their standing. They typically are much more formal in speaking, even in intimate situations; it's just how purebloods are--much like royalty/nobility way back when. Other than that, however, it was a great prologue and definitely grabbed my attention and kept me interested all throughout. Great job! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

 Report Review

Review #17, by TidalDragon Draco's Introduction

31st October 2014:
Howdy! Sorry I've left this until the eleventh hour. Life has been crazy for me since the pairs were posted. I promise I'll respond to your review soon too!

On to the story! I think the premise you establish here in the prologue is an interesting one (and one I'm hoping to read a little more of before the end of the day). While I'm not Draco Malfoy's number one fan by any stretch, I do think telling his story holds loads of untapped potential because if you try you can really paint him with a lot of complexity - complexity he's not really given much of in canon by Harry because of their relationship.

Still, as far as characterization goes, I think what you've painted of Draco so far is believable, and you've given him a unique voice that is similar to while still being distinct from his spoiled childhood petulance in canon. It's the voice of a changed man so to speak, so I think if that carries on throughout that's a really good thing you've crafted!

As far as the mechanics of the writing go, I thought the style was rather different. At the top Draco speaks much more straightforwardly and simply and then seems to get more complex as the chapter progresses. I don't know if that was a conscious choice because the subject-matter gets more intense (?) as the chapter moves on or if it just happened, but it was something that I noticed. I think the couple of sentences that were heavily laden with superlatives (ex: "I just so happen to have one of the oldest, dark, evil, and most hated families out there.") contributed to that impression though so maybe I'm over-keying on it. We'll see as I go forward.

Intriguing start so far! And while I'm off to work now, hopefully I'll be able to come back by for some more.

 Report Review

Review #18, by Jade |Chapter 34| Freedom Always Comes at A Price

23rd October 2014:
Love it so far hope to get a new update soon :-)

Author's Response: Hello Jade! First of all, I want to thank you so much for reading the entire story, and then taking the time to leave this Review at the end. Unfortunately, however, there will not be any updates from this point on for quite some time. As stated in the summary, this story is currently undergoing major revisions right now, and I am only on Chapter 13: Captive. I am in the process of rewriting this entire Novel at the moment, and there are SEVERAL notes in place asking for readers NOT to read past the edit point. I have been changing/updating the plot, and adding in new chapters, which is why all of the chapter numbers are currently out of order. For example; this chapter is titled as being #34, when it is actually number 39. So I'm sorry for the wait, but since you read ahead it will be a while before there are any more updates to be seen... I am HOPING to be all caught up and back on track after the first of the year though, so please keep checking back. I hope to hear from you again in the future. Thanks again so much for your time Jade, I really do appreciate it! :)

 Report Review

Review #19, by pointless_proclamations Captive

11th October 2014:

I phewed. Wow, this is exhilarating! These chapters are just something I could never tire of.

"Now, Draco, you know it isn't like that," Deana! That was so paternal of Arthur! This line makes it so much more evident that Draco is gaining a new set of parents. Unofficially. And you know how I feel about familial relationships!

ROXI!! Why did she do that?! Why? But with the way you've characterised her, it so understandable She is a little too brave for her own good and/or she hasn't been fully introduced to the seriousness of this situation. I wanted to rap some sense into her, but getting caught is probably enough.

I knew it!! I knew it was Lucius (my phone calls him Luscious) from the first words he spoke to her! That's a wonderfully written scene. Actually, the entire chapter was wonderfully written.

I am so happy that we get to see this weakened side of him. Your characterisation of him is just 'wow.' That dialogue was just spectacular.

I love how Roxi gets to see these two Malfoys in a light that is so different from the majority of this world's population! Especially because she is knew to the area and has not yet completely formed her own opinions about them yet (except that Draco was attractive, maybe).

Still your fan,

Author's Response: Emilie!! So glad you're here!! I'm sorry I left you hanging at the end of the last chapter, lol. I wish I could promise you that I won't do it again, but... What can I say? I used to be well-known for my cliffhangers, haha!! =P

Anyway, I'm glad you picked up on how Arthur's (and sometimes even Molly too) attitudes are changing towards Draco. By all means, the Weasley's will nearer replace his mother & father, but they are there to show him support when he needs it most... As you see at the ending, however, Lucius is in the picture now; and he won't be going anywhere any time soon, lol. (Ahaha, my phone used to call him "Luscious" too! I had to add his name to my autocorrect to get it to stop, lol!!) Glad to see that you were able to guess who he was at the very end tho. It seems I fail at being mysterious, haha!! ^_^'

Roxi is a crazy person, lol!! You seem to have her figured out pretty good tho. She is very Brave; as you will see much more of later on. (Honestly, I did several online sorting tests for her, and she always seemed to end up in Gryffindor, lol.) But on top of that, she's also a bit too Curious for her own good too. And you're right also; she doesn't quite understand the seriousness of the situation yet. I mean, she's only 19 years old, and this is her first time being away from home, so she still has a lot of life-experience to gain yet. Which, trust me, her lessons are soon coming, lol. ;)

Thanks so much for all the lovely compliments on my writing and dialogue in this, Em. The next chapter is primarily dialogue also, so it's nice to feel like it's at least decent so far, lol! It's a conversation between Roxi & Lucius, in which we finally get to hear his version of events thus far. And, like Draco, Lucius finds it easy to open up to Roxi because she's an outsider, and is therefore not biased. So yeah, I'm glad you picked up on that also... You really don't miss much, do you? Haha!! =P

As for Lucius in his weakened state... I'm glad you brought that up, actually. But he hasn't even reached his lowest point yet, the poor guy. I'm afraid that he will have to go thru more pain in the upcoming chapters too. (I'm evil, I know, lol!) But the story is about to get a whole lot darker here within the next 2 to 3 chapters or so. (You have been warned, lol!) And Lucius goes thru a lot, as do Draco & Roxi. The three of them are the MC's of this story, so I'm glad to see that you like how they all get along so far. =)

Also, I must apologize in advance, cuz the next chapter probly won't be up for like another week to 10 days or so... I am prepping for NaNo right now, and trying to catch up on my Review-Swaps & review responses, so I am a bit behind at the moment, unfortunately. But not to worry, I will have a few more updates to make before NaNo begins!! I will be sure to let you know as soon as chapter 14 is posted. Thanks so much for ALWAYS reading & reviewing, Em!! (((HUGS))) I've missed you bunches, my dear. :D


 Report Review

Review #20, by crestwood Captive

10th October 2014:
Hi Deana!

I really still can't believe Roxi decided to sneak outside into the bushes to get a closer look at Voldemort. I too was wondering if she was completely out of her mind at that point. I did a literal facepalm when it's revealed that she forgot her wand. Now I'm wonder how she'll managed to ever escape.. but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Their spells around the house are so clever and useful and I just wish Roxi would have stayed inside! They might have been safe then.. although Percy might have damaged the chances of that a little bit. The story probably wouldn't be as interesting if she didn't dash off and she definitely wouldn't be herself if she wasn't impulsive, she wouldn't be herself.

I almost gained a bit of respect for Percy attempting to refuse to attack his family and then I realized that the only reason he refused was because it was his house as well.. still only thinking about himself. It was inevitable that Roxi would be found out. I've learned a lot of things in my life and from years of hide and seek games worth of experience I definitely say for sure: behind the bushes is never a good hiding spot.

I'm very interested about the things Voldemort learned from looking into Roxi's mind. Actually, it's very lucky that she doesn't know a lot about The Order at the moment. I just thought about if she would have known about Saleena and what that would mean. He'd probably want to find her even more than he wants Draco. I'm very frightened about Voldemort's threats because the Voldemort in this story definitely would go ahead and do it. Percy having the nerve to meet his fathers eyes makes me actually angry. I just hate him with such a vengeance honestly.

Seriously, this basement that she's locked in is the creepiest thing ever. Also, you were totally right, I guessed who the voice was. The second he expressed any amount of concern for Draco it was very clear to me. I couldn't imagine anyone else that could possibly be there that would care for Draco at all, nevermind say that his life means more to him than his own.

This chapter does do one huge thing for me though and that's confirming my headcanon (of a fanfiction story.. does that exist?) of Lucius caring a whole lot about Draco in this story. Like, obviously he saved him as a baby and then he made sure that he didn't die and sent him off to the Weasleys and now he's breaking Roxi out of this place just to keep him safe and it's certain at this point that Lucius is NOT bad and DOES care for Draco. This is his first real appearance since the Prologue, but it's really significant. Really great job with this!

 Report Review

Review #21, by Gabriella Hunter Conversations

6th October 2014:

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and it's good to be back after that wild chapter that you left me with last time! I am still kind of jittery about that! poor feels...You really tore me open in this one too! How could you? Hahaha. I tend to do that with a lot of my stories so it's not that big of a deal but man, this was a really emotional chapter and I won't even begin to go on about that ending just yet!

SO, the aftermath of Percy's betrayal is still weighing on the Weasley home. I liked that you started this chapter with Saleena and Draco though, so that we could get an understanding on how he felt about the situation. The two of them are really great together and I could tell that there's a lot of affection between the two of them, though they don't always see eye to eye. I was really startled and horrified by what Draco revealed about Percy though but I sort of think that it fits his character. I'm still upset, mind you but I feel that what you've shown of him so far really does fit with what he wants out of Voldemort. He's always craved power and Draco was right about everyone having that bit of darkness in them, it really did put this whole chapter in a different light.

I wasn't expecting him to reveal that he was being tortured by Percy though! What a horrible experience to go through--I wanted to really leap through my computer and smack Percy a good one for that. It shows a level of cruelty that was both well-written and cringe worthy but you wrote it with such skill that I wasn't able to stop reading.

Draco and Saleena's parting though was bittersweet. I know that they'll miss one another very much but I think that you had them showing their love for one another in a way that was both sweet and a little sad. It's a side to them we don't see very often and while Saleena is gone, I noticed that Draco felt alone. :(

Cue in Roxie! I really like her! She's a ball of curiosity and isn't at all like how you would think once you get to know her a bit more. I liked that she and Draco were able to have such a personal conversation without having the awkward boundaries in between. There were a few moments when they were a little uneasy about this or that but they plowed on ahead and got to know one another--the unpleasant things--without letting that get in the way. I actually thought this was the best part of the chapter to be honest and I really do enjoy the pair of them together. Roxie is brave, funny and determined and I think Draco might be able to really have a relationship with her in the future. I noticed that there's some equal attraction between them so I'm curious to see how that goes!

Now...that ending...

WHAT?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I am not a happy bunny right now! OMG, I'm freaking out! You will have to get that next chapter into my review thread like...NYOW!

How could you?!!!


So, another excellent chapter! Can't wait for the next one!

Much love,


Author's Response: Hello again Gabbie!! Sorry about the feels in this one, lol! It really can't be avoided though. And trust me - there are way more to come! =P

I'm glad you like Draco's relationship with Saleena. They're like brother & sister almost, which is why she feels such a strong need to protect him. She's known him since he was born, and has been his healer from day 1. So, as I'm sure you can imagine, if she ever sees Percy face-to-face, it isn't going to be pretty for him. He doesn't realize exactly how many enemies he's creating, and I'm afraid it'll be too late by the time he catches on. ;)

I was also pleased to see that you liked Roxi & Draco's interaction so well too!! Roxi is like my child, lol, so I always get super nervous when people start critiquing her character. I'm sure you can understand the feeling tho! So it brings me great joy to receive good feedback on her, and then again in their relationship. I know this chapter is one of the longer ones, but I really just couldn't see cutting either one of those conversations down. It's all SO important because it establishes how Draco feels about losing Saleena, and then making this new friend. Who may even end up becoming more than just a friend later on down the road... If Voldemort doesn't kill her first, lol!! =P

Which brings us to the end. Yes, the cliffhanger... You enjoyed that, I see?!? I am kidding of course, lol!! But I had to do it!! You will see in the next chapter, I promise it'll all work out!! And I am SO SORRY that I never made it back to your review thread sooner. GAH!! I feel like I let you down, and I'm so sorry for that. =(

As you know now, if you've been reading my blogs on the forums lately; and I do believe that you have... I went thru quite a lot in RL over the past few months. There was a time when I even almost gave up on this whole entire story, and I almost just deleted everything. After the break-in, when all my stuff was stolen from me, I just didn't see the point anymore... So I do apologize that I never came back. It took me a while to save up for a new laptop, and then once I had it I had so much to catch up on, it was crazy!!

But I'm back now, and I am doing so much better now. I'm even writing again!! And coming back to these wonderful reviews of yours have given me enormous amounts of encouragement and inspiration to continue, Gabbie! To be honest, I just didn't wanna keep requesting more & more reviews from you until I had the time to respond to the ones that you had already posted properly. Which I have now done, therefore I will make my way back over to your review thread ASAP!! I promise!! Can you ever forgive me, Gabbie? I would certainly hope so, cuz there are still 4 more chapters to go before you are all caught up on this story, lol!!

Thank you again SO MUCH for all of these wonderful reviews, Gabbie. You really have no idea how much your general excitement about my little story here has given me hope over the past few months. Any time I need inspiration, or keep asking myself why I am doing this, I just pull up these reviews and they keep me going. Yours have been especially helpful though, and I cannot thank you enough for that!! ♥


 Report Review

Review #22, by Roisin The Letter

4th October 2014:

So I loved the urgency you gave Lucius' letter. Because really, Arthur totally might have just crumpled it up and discarded it--the way he begged him to continue reading made the following decisions really believable. Also, Narcissa sacrificed herself for Draco!! What an interesting parallel to Harry's story!! I wonder if Draco will end up getting hand-burning love powers now! Then again, so far we don't necessarily know whether or not Voldemort actually gave Narcissa the *option* to live--which is critical.

I really like the theme you've been developing about Draco's agency. So far, he's very much been subject to the decisions of others, and had his life decided for him without having a say himself. The one time we did see him act, was in "Doing the Right Thing"--and his choice was noble. That gives me a lot of hope for him, and I can't wait to see how the theme of agency, independence, and choice plays out.

Also, you kind of mirrored the last chapter (when Lucius and Narcissa discussed/debated difficult choices), by putting Molly and Arthur in the same situation. I love the subtle implication of the universality of it all, and how these things cross the boundaries of allegiance. That said, I wasn't totally convinced on Molly's voice. It was mostly on point, but sometimes strayed into too contemporary, too young, or even a touch American sounding. I can't really imagine any of them saying "in a weird way", "anyways," or "and besides." But that's pretty easily remedied. The only reason I even point it out, because it's so minor, is that it COULD seem OOC for Molly to be so resistant to taking in Draco--except that I do think it makes sense. She is a very nurturing person, but that doesn't necessarily mean she doesn't think in terms of "in-group" and "out-group." And I love the idea that there's room for evolution and growth even in otherwise good people (because isn't the primary crux of the war the Death Eater's obsession with an imagined in-group?)

Also, all the AU stuff is super interesting! Because I am such a canon nut, it's actually kind of relaxing to read an AU, because I don't end up nitpicking petty little discrepancies. Also, I'm starting to wonder if Dumbledore died in this universe--you never said it straight out, and they seem to be on reasonable terms with Snape, so hmm...

Also, Voldemort doesn't seem as far along as he was in canon MUCH EARLIER than when this chapter takes place (Scrimgeour is still alive, not as many people are dead, Arthur's life still has a semblance of normalcy)--so I have to assume Voldemort was only able to make such big leaps of power because Dumbledore died in the canon universe. AM I CLOSE???

Oh, also! I think it makes a weird amount of sense that Lucius would seek Arthur for help. Those two were always had the strongest rivalry with one another. Therefore, if Lucius needed someone he knew BEYOND THE SHADOW OF A DOUBT would never support Voldemort, his first thought WOULD probably be Arthur. Additionally, since they'd always been rivals, it would be the last place anyone would expect. Plus like, having had so many kids, the Weasley's can be trusted to have a pretty solid understanding of basic parenting.

So yeah, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS ONLY THE FIRST OFFICIAL CHAPTER! I'm so excited to see where this story goes!


 Report Review

Review #23, by crestwood Conversations

3rd October 2014:
Hi Deana! I'm back again!

You know I love these Draco/Saleena conversations. I don't even like to think about the fact that this is the last one for a while. I'm shutting that out of my brain for now. They're still so perfect in scenes together and everything just fits together. They truly care about each other. I love the relationship they have. It's amazing that you've written two characters that get on so well that I feel upset about not being able to read their simple conversations. Not even big arguments or anything, just conversations.

You've somehow managed to make me hate Percy even more. The idea that he would have torture Draco more than Voldemort practically makes my blood boil. What kind of sick, twisted creature have you created? It's made even worse because I really doubt that he's reach his peak when it comes to this stuff. But now I'm really happy because of Draco's "don't let me them change you" line, he cares about her so unabashedly and it makes me just ecstatic.

Roxi's going to go talk to Draco and Tonks isn't buying the whole drink of water excuse!! Of course she's going to go try to chat with him!! Thank god, my life needs this pairing so badly. A little bit upset that Draco was so cold towards Roxi at first. A little tiny setback there, but luckily he's apologizing not long after. He already can't let her be mad at him!!! Interesting that Draco doesn't want to be called by the name Malfoy any longer. It makes me kind of happy that Tonks referred to him first and foremost as her cousin. I forget sometimes that they are related.

I like the chemistry between Roxi and Draco. They joke and they get serious and back again without missing a step. In this timeline, no one knows that Snape is innocent, but I'm very glad that Draco sticks up for him here because we all know that Snape doesn't deserve to be blacklisted from The Order the way he is.

No Roxi, you don't want to see Voldemort, trust me please!! I want to scream at her through my computer so badly. The 'careful what you wish for' line was so perfectly placed. That ending :( I don't even want to imagine what everyone must be thinking in that moment. That's the scariest cliffhanger ever, seriously. I feel so bad for everyone who hasn't already seen the next chapter, but at the same time, not really because that one was no less scary than the ending of this one.

Once again, you have struck gold. I love typing out these reviews and getting to tell you what I'm thinking while I read these amazing chapters. This is just another one for the books ;D

 Report Review

Review #24, by pointless_proclamations Conversations

1st October 2014:

Another chapter at last! I adore these conversations between Saleena and Draco. [sighs]

"There is evil inside of everyone. . ." That's a beautiful line that just gave me chills.

Percy! [obscene descriptive words here] I am astounded that he brought the Malfoy-Weasley rivalry over to the Death Eaters' side. That foul, slimy git! And he's worse than the others when it comes to practicing spells on Draco?! Deana, you inspire such rage and anger within me-LEMME AT HIM! He's addicted to the acquisition of power. Worse still it's the coercive type. [under-the-breath grumblings that would be inappropriate to write out]

"Now, however, she was beginning to wonder about every scratch and bruise-" and Deana, I am bursting with sympathy. You are absolutely right to assume that I will love this chapter as much as I do!

"Please don't let them change you." Can this relationship get any sweeter? I especially love the way you write them together.

Tonks has got her new friend all worked out, doesn't she? She can totally tell that Roxi is just fascinated by this handsome, pale boy with he sad, brooding eyes.

They are so cute together, Deana! I think her bubbly charm is seeping its way into his system.

And of course that's why he would talk to her. Because she's unprejudiced (and perhaps it's also to do with how he fancies her, but I'll let him have this one). It makes so much sense.

They are adorably compatible one they start talking! I love how he's just giving her all these tips: cut Severus some slack, beware of the Dark Lord. . . He cares!

May I yell? Is that okay? Can I use all-caps? Are you going to be okay with that? Because I need to say this:


I could go on.

Your fuming fan,

 Report Review

Review #25, by Roisin Prolouge: Blessed With a Son

28th September 2014:
Ah! AH!

Having Voldemort around during birth IS THE SCARIEST WORSTEST THING I CAN IMAGINE! That super duper gave me the creeps, so WELL DONE!

The whole Unbreakable Vow thing was so cruel and so brutal, GAH, and branding a baby with the Dark Mark!!!

I'm so interested to see where this goes, since we know Draco isn't aware of what his father did. And really, good job making us empathize with the Malfoys! "Kill the baby" vs "Curse the baby" are pretty heavy questions, I can't possibly say what I'd choose, but I imagine it'd be really hard not to choose the latter.

I really liked the way you repeated the first paragraph at the end, it had a super nice symmetry to it! Nicely done!


Author's Response: Hey there, welcome back!! I was wondering when I might hear from you again... I'm so glad you enjoyed the concept here. I love making people feel sympathy for the Malfoys, lol. I'm really glad you liked the prologue. And now I'm really excited for you to begin reading the actual sorry now, haha!! Thanks so much for the Review, Roisin. Hope to hear from ya again soon! =)


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>