Reading Reviews for Love, Not War
  
484 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TidalDragon Draco's Introduction

31st October 2014:
Howdy! Sorry I've left this until the eleventh hour. Life has been crazy for me since the pairs were posted. I promise I'll respond to your review soon too!

On to the story! I think the premise you establish here in the prologue is an interesting one (and one I'm hoping to read a little more of before the end of the day). While I'm not Draco Malfoy's number one fan by any stretch, I do think telling his story holds loads of untapped potential because if you try you can really paint him with a lot of complexity - complexity he's not really given much of in canon by Harry because of their relationship.

Still, as far as characterization goes, I think what you've painted of Draco so far is believable, and you've given him a unique voice that is similar to while still being distinct from his spoiled childhood petulance in canon. It's the voice of a changed man so to speak, so I think if that carries on throughout that's a really good thing you've crafted!

As far as the mechanics of the writing go, I thought the style was rather different. At the top Draco speaks much more straightforwardly and simply and then seems to get more complex as the chapter progresses. I don't know if that was a conscious choice because the subject-matter gets more intense (?) as the chapter moves on or if it just happened, but it was something that I noticed. I think the couple of sentences that were heavily laden with superlatives (ex: "I just so happen to have one of the oldest, dark, evil, and most hated families out there.") contributed to that impression though so maybe I'm over-keying on it. We'll see as I go forward.

Intriguing start so far! And while I'm off to work now, hopefully I'll be able to come back by for some more.

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Review #2, by Jade |Chapter 34| Freedom Always Comes at A Price

23rd October 2014:
Love it so far hope to get a new update soon :-)

Author's Response: Hello Jade! First of all, I want to thank you so much for reading the entire story, and then taking the time to leave this Review at the end. Unfortunately, however, there will not be any updates from this point on for quite some time. As stated in the summary, this story is currently undergoing major revisions right now, and I am only on Chapter 13: Captive. I am in the process of rewriting this entire Novel at the moment, and there are SEVERAL notes in place asking for readers NOT to read past the edit point. I have been changing/updating the plot, and adding in new chapters, which is why all of the chapter numbers are currently out of order. For example; this chapter is titled as being #34, when it is actually number 39. So I'm sorry for the wait, but since you read ahead it will be a while before there are any more updates to be seen... I am HOPING to be all caught up and back on track after the first of the year though, so please keep checking back. I hope to hear from you again in the future. Thanks again so much for your time Jade, I really do appreciate it! :)

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Review #3, by pointless_proclamations Captive

11th October 2014:
Deana,

I phewed. Wow, this is exhilarating! These chapters are just something I could never tire of.

"Now, Draco, you know it isn't like that," Deana! That was so paternal of Arthur! This line makes it so much more evident that Draco is gaining a new set of parents. Unofficially. And you know how I feel about familial relationships!

ROXI!! Why did she do that?! Why? But with the way you've characterised her, it so understandable She is a little too brave for her own good and/or she hasn't been fully introduced to the seriousness of this situation. I wanted to rap some sense into her, but getting caught is probably enough.

I knew it!! I knew it was Lucius (my phone calls him Luscious) from the first words he spoke to her! That's a wonderfully written scene. Actually, the entire chapter was wonderfully written.

I am so happy that we get to see this weakened side of him. Your characterisation of him is just 'wow.' That dialogue was just spectacular.

I love how Roxi gets to see these two Malfoys in a light that is so different from the majority of this world's population! Especially because she is knew to the area and has not yet completely formed her own opinions about them yet (except that Draco was attractive, maybe).

Still your fan,
Em

Author's Response: Emilie!! So glad you're here!! I'm sorry I left you hanging at the end of the last chapter, lol. I wish I could promise you that I won't do it again, but... What can I say? I used to be well-known for my cliffhangers, haha!! =P

Anyway, I'm glad you picked up on how Arthur's (and sometimes even Molly too) attitudes are changing towards Draco. By all means, the Weasley's will nearer replace his mother & father, but they are there to show him support when he needs it most... As you see at the ending, however, Lucius is in the picture now; and he won't be going anywhere any time soon, lol. (Ahaha, my phone used to call him "Luscious" too! I had to add his name to my autocorrect to get it to stop, lol!!) Glad to see that you were able to guess who he was at the very end tho. It seems I fail at being mysterious, haha!! ^_^'

Roxi is a crazy person, lol!! You seem to have her figured out pretty good tho. She is very Brave; as you will see much more of later on. (Honestly, I did several online sorting tests for her, and she always seemed to end up in Gryffindor, lol.) But on top of that, she's also a bit too Curious for her own good too. And you're right also; she doesn't quite understand the seriousness of the situation yet. I mean, she's only 19 years old, and this is her first time being away from home, so she still has a lot of life-experience to gain yet. Which, trust me, her lessons are soon coming, lol. ;)

Thanks so much for all the lovely compliments on my writing and dialogue in this, Em. The next chapter is primarily dialogue also, so it's nice to feel like it's at least decent so far, lol! It's a conversation between Roxi & Lucius, in which we finally get to hear his version of events thus far. And, like Draco, Lucius finds it easy to open up to Roxi because she's an outsider, and is therefore not biased. So yeah, I'm glad you picked up on that also... You really don't miss much, do you? Haha!! =P

As for Lucius in his weakened state... I'm glad you brought that up, actually. But he hasn't even reached his lowest point yet, the poor guy. I'm afraid that he will have to go thru more pain in the upcoming chapters too. (I'm evil, I know, lol!) But the story is about to get a whole lot darker here within the next 2 to 3 chapters or so. (You have been warned, lol!) And Lucius goes thru a lot, as do Draco & Roxi. The three of them are the MC's of this story, so I'm glad to see that you like how they all get along so far. =)

Also, I must apologize in advance, cuz the next chapter probly won't be up for like another week to 10 days or so... I am prepping for NaNo right now, and trying to catch up on my Review-Swaps & review responses, so I am a bit behind at the moment, unfortunately. But not to worry, I will have a few more updates to make before NaNo begins!! I will be sure to let you know as soon as chapter 14 is posted. Thanks so much for ALWAYS reading & reviewing, Em!! (((HUGS))) I've missed you bunches, my dear. :D

~Deana~


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Review #4, by crestwood Captive

10th October 2014:
Hi Deana!

I really still can't believe Roxi decided to sneak outside into the bushes to get a closer look at Voldemort. I too was wondering if she was completely out of her mind at that point. I did a literal facepalm when it's revealed that she forgot her wand. Now I'm wonder how she'll managed to ever escape.. but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Their spells around the house are so clever and useful and I just wish Roxi would have stayed inside! They might have been safe then.. although Percy might have damaged the chances of that a little bit. The story probably wouldn't be as interesting if she didn't dash off and she definitely wouldn't be herself if she wasn't impulsive, she wouldn't be herself.

I almost gained a bit of respect for Percy attempting to refuse to attack his family and then I realized that the only reason he refused was because it was his house as well.. still only thinking about himself. It was inevitable that Roxi would be found out. I've learned a lot of things in my life and from years of hide and seek games worth of experience I definitely say for sure: behind the bushes is never a good hiding spot.

I'm very interested about the things Voldemort learned from looking into Roxi's mind. Actually, it's very lucky that she doesn't know a lot about The Order at the moment. I just thought about if she would have known about Saleena and what that would mean. He'd probably want to find her even more than he wants Draco. I'm very frightened about Voldemort's threats because the Voldemort in this story definitely would go ahead and do it. Percy having the nerve to meet his fathers eyes makes me actually angry. I just hate him with such a vengeance honestly.

Seriously, this basement that she's locked in is the creepiest thing ever. Also, you were totally right, I guessed who the voice was. The second he expressed any amount of concern for Draco it was very clear to me. I couldn't imagine anyone else that could possibly be there that would care for Draco at all, nevermind say that his life means more to him than his own.

This chapter does do one huge thing for me though and that's confirming my headcanon (of a fanfiction story.. does that exist?) of Lucius caring a whole lot about Draco in this story. Like, obviously he saved him as a baby and then he made sure that he didn't die and sent him off to the Weasleys and now he's breaking Roxi out of this place just to keep him safe and it's certain at this point that Lucius is NOT bad and DOES care for Draco. This is his first real appearance since the Prologue, but it's really significant. Really great job with this!

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Review #5, by Gabriella Hunter Conversations

6th October 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and it's good to be back after that wild chapter that you left me with last time! I am still kind of jittery about that!

But...my feels...my poor feels...You really tore me open in this one too! How could you? Hahaha. I tend to do that with a lot of my stories so it's not that big of a deal but man, this was a really emotional chapter and I won't even begin to go on about that ending just yet!

SO, the aftermath of Percy's betrayal is still weighing on the Weasley home. I liked that you started this chapter with Saleena and Draco though, so that we could get an understanding on how he felt about the situation. The two of them are really great together and I could tell that there's a lot of affection between the two of them, though they don't always see eye to eye. I was really startled and horrified by what Draco revealed about Percy though but I sort of think that it fits his character. I'm still upset, mind you but I feel that what you've shown of him so far really does fit with what he wants out of Voldemort. He's always craved power and Draco was right about everyone having that bit of darkness in them, it really did put this whole chapter in a different light.

I wasn't expecting him to reveal that he was being tortured by Percy though! What a horrible experience to go through--I wanted to really leap through my computer and smack Percy a good one for that. It shows a level of cruelty that was both well-written and cringe worthy but you wrote it with such skill that I wasn't able to stop reading.

Draco and Saleena's parting though was bittersweet. I know that they'll miss one another very much but I think that you had them showing their love for one another in a way that was both sweet and a little sad. It's a side to them we don't see very often and while Saleena is gone, I noticed that Draco felt alone. :(

Cue in Roxie! I really like her! She's a ball of curiosity and isn't at all like how you would think once you get to know her a bit more. I liked that she and Draco were able to have such a personal conversation without having the awkward boundaries in between. There were a few moments when they were a little uneasy about this or that but they plowed on ahead and got to know one another--the unpleasant things--without letting that get in the way. I actually thought this was the best part of the chapter to be honest and I really do enjoy the pair of them together. Roxie is brave, funny and determined and I think Draco might be able to really have a relationship with her in the future. I noticed that there's some equal attraction between them so I'm curious to see how that goes!

Now...that ending...

WHAT?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I am not a happy bunny right now! OMG, I'm freaking out! You will have to get that next chapter into my review thread like...NYOW!

How could you?!!!

Hahahaha.

So, another excellent chapter! Can't wait for the next one!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #6, by Roisin The Letter

4th October 2014:
BACK!

So I loved the urgency you gave Lucius' letter. Because really, Arthur totally might have just crumpled it up and discarded it--the way he begged him to continue reading made the following decisions really believable. Also, Narcissa sacrificed herself for Draco!! What an interesting parallel to Harry's story!! I wonder if Draco will end up getting hand-burning love powers now! Then again, so far we don't necessarily know whether or not Voldemort actually gave Narcissa the *option* to live--which is critical.

I really like the theme you've been developing about Draco's agency. So far, he's very much been subject to the decisions of others, and had his life decided for him without having a say himself. The one time we did see him act, was in "Doing the Right Thing"--and his choice was noble. That gives me a lot of hope for him, and I can't wait to see how the theme of agency, independence, and choice plays out.

Also, you kind of mirrored the last chapter (when Lucius and Narcissa discussed/debated difficult choices), by putting Molly and Arthur in the same situation. I love the subtle implication of the universality of it all, and how these things cross the boundaries of allegiance. That said, I wasn't totally convinced on Molly's voice. It was mostly on point, but sometimes strayed into too contemporary, too young, or even a touch American sounding. I can't really imagine any of them saying "in a weird way", "anyways," or "and besides." But that's pretty easily remedied. The only reason I even point it out, because it's so minor, is that it COULD seem OOC for Molly to be so resistant to taking in Draco--except that I do think it makes sense. She is a very nurturing person, but that doesn't necessarily mean she doesn't think in terms of "in-group" and "out-group." And I love the idea that there's room for evolution and growth even in otherwise good people (because isn't the primary crux of the war the Death Eater's obsession with an imagined in-group?)

Also, all the AU stuff is super interesting! Because I am such a canon nut, it's actually kind of relaxing to read an AU, because I don't end up nitpicking petty little discrepancies. Also, I'm starting to wonder if Dumbledore died in this universe--you never said it straight out, and they seem to be on reasonable terms with Snape, so hmm...

Also, Voldemort doesn't seem as far along as he was in canon MUCH EARLIER than when this chapter takes place (Scrimgeour is still alive, not as many people are dead, Arthur's life still has a semblance of normalcy)--so I have to assume Voldemort was only able to make such big leaps of power because Dumbledore died in the canon universe. AM I CLOSE???

Oh, also! I think it makes a weird amount of sense that Lucius would seek Arthur for help. Those two were always had the strongest rivalry with one another. Therefore, if Lucius needed someone he knew BEYOND THE SHADOW OF A DOUBT would never support Voldemort, his first thought WOULD probably be Arthur. Additionally, since they'd always been rivals, it would be the last place anyone would expect. Plus like, having had so many kids, the Weasley's can be trusted to have a pretty solid understanding of basic parenting.

So yeah, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS ONLY THE FIRST OFFICIAL CHAPTER! I'm so excited to see where this story goes!

xoxo
Roisin

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Review #7, by crestwood Conversations

3rd October 2014:
Hi Deana! I'm back again!

You know I love these Draco/Saleena conversations. I don't even like to think about the fact that this is the last one for a while. I'm shutting that out of my brain for now. They're still so perfect in scenes together and everything just fits together. They truly care about each other. I love the relationship they have. It's amazing that you've written two characters that get on so well that I feel upset about not being able to read their simple conversations. Not even big arguments or anything, just conversations.

You've somehow managed to make me hate Percy even more. The idea that he would have torture Draco more than Voldemort practically makes my blood boil. What kind of sick, twisted creature have you created? It's made even worse because I really doubt that he's reach his peak when it comes to this stuff. But now I'm really happy because of Draco's "don't let me them change you" line, he cares about her so unabashedly and it makes me just ecstatic.

Roxi's going to go talk to Draco and Tonks isn't buying the whole drink of water excuse!! Of course she's going to go try to chat with him!! Thank god, my life needs this pairing so badly. A little bit upset that Draco was so cold towards Roxi at first. A little tiny setback there, but luckily he's apologizing not long after. He already can't let her be mad at him!!! Interesting that Draco doesn't want to be called by the name Malfoy any longer. It makes me kind of happy that Tonks referred to him first and foremost as her cousin. I forget sometimes that they are related.

I like the chemistry between Roxi and Draco. They joke and they get serious and back again without missing a step. In this timeline, no one knows that Snape is innocent, but I'm very glad that Draco sticks up for him here because we all know that Snape doesn't deserve to be blacklisted from The Order the way he is.

No Roxi, you don't want to see Voldemort, trust me please!! I want to scream at her through my computer so badly. The 'careful what you wish for' line was so perfectly placed. That ending :( I don't even want to imagine what everyone must be thinking in that moment. That's the scariest cliffhanger ever, seriously. I feel so bad for everyone who hasn't already seen the next chapter, but at the same time, not really because that one was no less scary than the ending of this one.

Once again, you have struck gold. I love typing out these reviews and getting to tell you what I'm thinking while I read these amazing chapters. This is just another one for the books ;D

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Review #8, by pointless_proclamations Conversations

1st October 2014:
Deana,

Another chapter at last! I adore these conversations between Saleena and Draco. [sighs]

"There is evil inside of everyone. . ." That's a beautiful line that just gave me chills.

Percy! [obscene descriptive words here] I am astounded that he brought the Malfoy-Weasley rivalry over to the Death Eaters' side. That foul, slimy git! And he's worse than the others when it comes to practicing spells on Draco?! Deana, you inspire such rage and anger within me-LEMME AT HIM! He's addicted to the acquisition of power. Worse still it's the coercive type. [under-the-breath grumblings that would be inappropriate to write out]

"Now, however, she was beginning to wonder about every scratch and bruise-" and Deana, I am bursting with sympathy. You are absolutely right to assume that I will love this chapter as much as I do!

"Please don't let them change you." Can this relationship get any sweeter? I especially love the way you write them together.

Tonks has got her new friend all worked out, doesn't she? She can totally tell that Roxi is just fascinated by this handsome, pale boy with he sad, brooding eyes.

They are so cute together, Deana! I think her bubbly charm is seeping its way into his system.

And of course that's why he would talk to her. Because she's unprejudiced (and perhaps it's also to do with how he fancies her, but I'll let him have this one). It makes so much sense.

They are adorably compatible one they start talking! I love how he's just giving her all these tips: cut Severus some slack, beware of the Dark Lord. . . He cares!

May I yell? Is that okay? Can I use all-caps? Are you going to be okay with that? Because I need to say this:

DEANA! WHAT IN MERLIN'S BEGONIA CONVERTIBLE STILETTOS HAVE YOU DONE?! A CLIFFHANGER? A WONDERFULLY EXECUTED CLIFFHANGER?! WHY?! WHY ARE YOU SO GOOD AT WRITING THAT I CAN GO FROM WARM FUZZIES TO OUTRAGE IN SUCH A SHORT SPAN OF TIME?!

I could go on.

Your fuming fan,
Em

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Review #9, by Roisin Prolouge: Blessed With a Son

28th September 2014:
Ah! AH!

Having Voldemort around during birth IS THE SCARIEST WORSTEST THING I CAN IMAGINE! That super duper gave me the creeps, so WELL DONE!

The whole Unbreakable Vow thing was so cruel and so brutal, GAH, and branding a baby with the Dark Mark!!!

I'm so interested to see where this goes, since we know Draco isn't aware of what his father did. And really, good job making us empathize with the Malfoys! "Kill the baby" vs "Curse the baby" are pretty heavy questions, I can't possibly say what I'd choose, but I imagine it'd be really hard not to choose the latter.

I really liked the way you repeated the first paragraph at the end, it had a super nice symmetry to it! Nicely done!

xoxo
Roisin

Author's Response: Hey there, welcome back!! I was wondering when I might hear from you again... I'm so glad you enjoyed the concept here. I love making people feel sympathy for the Malfoys, lol. I'm really glad you liked the prologue. And now I'm really excited for you to begin reading the actual sorry now, haha!! Thanks so much for the Review, Roisin. Hope to hear from ya again soon! =)

~Deana~


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Review #10, by crestwood The Spy

27th September 2014:
Hi Deana!

I really should be asleep right now. It's 6 am and I'm supposed to be going to D.C. tomorrow. Or today I suppose. But, I've been distracted all night (morning) and if I don't review this now it'll have to wait through another day entirely.

I found it so realistic that Molly and Arthur's room would be sort of barren in a way. I can't imagine them going to any extreme expenses furnishing their room, when that money could be spent on one of their children. They're both such selfless, family-oriented people and that little detail really accentuated that.

The scene in which Draco is being egged on by McGonagall to offer up a name is really emotional because you can really feel just how much he doesn't want to do it. He would rather be the source of, or possibly the witness of such pain in Molly and Arthur. It's amazing how far he's come, just to be able to see that their feelings are important. Of course, that hasn't exactly stretched to the entire Weasley family, but the rest of them are hardly giving him a break either, so I cannot blame him in the slightest. He's changed a bit, but he's not yet to a place where he'd forgive those who still treat him the way they do.

I cannot deal with Molly realizing who the spy is on her own. It was almost worse than Draco having to spring it on her. I can't imagine how they must feel. We're never given any canon examples of the parents of a Death Eater being those who fight against them. Usually Death Eaters are raised on the pureblood mania and will swear to it up and down, but Percy is a member of the most notorious 'blood traitor' family there is and not only that, but as far as I've thought it out, he is not a subscriber to their way of thinking. I doubt he really feels that Muggleborns are beneath him, but he does has an insatiable hunger for power and he truly believes that following Voldemort will give him just that. He is willing to betray his family and everything he was raised for if he believes that it'll make him more powerful in the ministry. Voldemort is despicable, but there's an argument for Percy being the more interesting villain here.

I was not only correct in believing that Percy was the spy, but I actually figured out that he must have been manipulating Arthur for information. After all, it was established that the Death Eaters were always a step ahead and I believed Percy to be the spy. That only really leaves Arthur, as no one else in his family would regularly be at the Ministry in order to speak to him. It's horrible that he would use his father's trust in him like that. And here I was thinking that the night Molly almost got arrested was the worst he could get.

I haven't read the last part of this chapter before now, but I must say, I am almost glad to have things settle down a bit toward the end. It was interesting seeing McGonagall get exasperated with everyone doubting her at the end. I like this new lineup of The Order. Luna and Neville are two people that I wish could have participated more in canon, so I do love to see them having a say in this version of events.

As always, this chapter was absolutely amazing!

Author's Response: hey, Joey!! As always, you spoil me with your reviews, lol! D.C. sounds like SO much fun tho. I've never been, unfortunately. Hope you had a good trip. :)

I'm so glad you liked my description of Molly & Arthur's room. We were never really given a glimpse into this space in Cannon, so it was a lot of fun to imagine it. And I appreciate everything you had to say about Draco and his attitude of care only extending to a few members of the Weasley family. Your assumptions about Percy and his attitude towards everything are spot-on also. Gosh, you're so insightful Joey, lo! =P

I can't believe you got it right, haha! Honestly, I did insert alot more clues as to who the spy was when I rewrote this tho. There weren't nearly as many hints beforehand, lol. Just remember what you said about Percy being the more interesting villian in events to come. Because he certainy does have a much larger role to play in the upcoming chapters. He certainly does get a LOT worse than even this. I am just getting started with this evil Percy, haha!! ;)

Things are settled down for now, by the end of this chapter... But how long can that last? Just wait til you see the end of next chapter, lol!! *evilgrin* Thanks so much for such an incredible review, Joey. you are awesome, man!! I seriously appreciate all of your help and dedication that you have given to this story. =D


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Review #11, by Gabriella Hunter The Spy

26th September 2014:
HellO!

This is Gabbie form the forums dropping by with your review and you know what's going to happen now! Be afraid! Hahahahaha.

I knew it. I just knew it! You were after my heart with this one, weren't you? I had my suspicions that Percy was going to be the one who turned out to be the spy from what happened in previous chapters but man, the emotional punch in this chapter was just painful. What I liked the most about this chapter was that Draco's attitude towards the Weasley's has really shifted, he was able to respect them. I liked that he was able to see how much dedication they put into raising their family and how much they really cared about their well-being but it also added this sense of sadness to the scene, since we were about to see the family being torn apart. Draco's concern for them was very touching and I felt badly for him too, he was being put into a very uncomfortable position and it took a lot of courage for him to finally speak up about the truth.

Molly's reaction of course was gut wrenching and while I expected her to faint, I was glad that she was able to stay standing. It was far more effective and I think that it was more powerful, her tears were enough to have me nearly stop reading this chapter though. Arthur's denial of the situation at first was very realistic, what parent wants to believe that of their own child? He slowly began to accept it but I think that they're going to be in that state for a long time to come, I feel like that wound is never going to close.

But Percy is a Death Eater as well? That just...it's too much for me. I wanted to scream and then cry and then scream some more! I can't believe him! What I liked though was that you had the family talking about that little darkness in his heart and how his ambition carried him over to do the unthinkable. It fit in well with his character here and it was a gutsy move. I know that a lot of people wouldn't have thought it all that shocking, considering that it's Percy but I think that you really took a risk here. It's great to read and I think that you've set up the remainder of the story very well. We've got a war coming and a family on opposite sides, that's just going to be a delicious read for me. :D

Charlie and the others got a bit more personality in this chapter too. Sibling hierarchy is really a thing, the twins have a respect for Charlie and Bill that we wouldn't have ordinarily have seen. I also liked that you gave each twin their own character traits as well, Fred is obviously more hot tempered than George but seems to follow his brother's lead every now and then. It's an interesting look into their relationship, I was able to feel all the anger between them and the heartbreak as well. :(

I'm really curious to know how you'll go forward with the story now. Obviously the Order is shook up by this news and McGonagall is being questioned as a leader but I'm glad that their loyalty towards one another stayed true. I can't wait to see what happens next and this angry Neville of yours is really capturing my attention, I hope he doesn't go off the deep end.

All in all though this was a great chapter, it had all the wonderful things that I needed with just enough foreshadowing to keep me guessing. I noticed a few little grammar things like "of coarse" should be "of course" but you can easily clean that up. :D

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #12, by pointless_proclamations The Spy

23rd September 2014:
DEANA!

I have missed this story and have been so on edge just waiting. Finally, it's here, another roller coaster of emotions!

Draco's character development is figuratively mind-blowing. I love the it wasn't just a sudden thing, but rather a series of organised, albeit unpredictable events. You've allowed him time to grow as a character and it just made so much sense! More than that, I love it. I love how he has grown sensitive to Molly and Arthur's feelings. He's changing and he doesn't want to hurt them. Of course these sentiments are not extended to just anyone, the fact he only truly cares about a mere handful of people as of yet makes complete sense to me. It only adds to his feelings towards Molly and Arthur.

It seems as though Percy and Draco switched places.

"What other kind of Death Eater is there?" I know this is a serious scene. I really do. It's just that you come up with the most hilarious of lines and I can't help myself from laughing. I'm torn between giggles and frowns. How your writing conflicts me, Deana!

Could they now turn the figurative tables on Percy now that they know what he's up to? Are they going to feed him false information? There must be retribution!

McGonagall's piece is brilliant. Way I bring about some team cohesion back to the Order. What she said about Draco. . . Deana it made my heart figuratively swell with pride for him. I'm so happy that he got some acknowledgement.

So now I'm worried about Saleena and her mission. What will happen? What happens after 'Born a Leader?' How has her abilities developed? And she'll have to be separated from her brother, Draco? :( I cannot wait to read on, Deana!

As for your note: I was majorly shocked. [hugs] Thank you Deana! And the pleasure was all mine. I'm so addicted to your story (hence the nomination). I think about it constantly. Your writing is supreme and so are you. :)

Your fan, anxious in anticipation of another chapter,
Em :D

Author's Response: EMILIE!!! Gosh, I miss you girl!! RL has been hellabusy these past few weeks, lol. But look; you got here first this time, yay!! =P

I'm so glad to see that you picked up on the subtle changes that have been made to Draco's character. It really kind of is like he and Percy have switched places. funny thing is that I have never thought of it like that before, lol! So that is a very good point... It's a shame that they won't have the time to feed him false information tho, as that is a very good idea. you'll see what I mean by this in 2 chapters from now, lol! ;)

I'm glad you like my McGonagall in this, and it's good to see that you appreciate my humor, lol. Thanks, Em! I guess you'll just have to wait and see how Saleena's powers develop tho. You will get to see her one last time next chapter tho, so it's not a goodbye quite yet. (:

Thanks again so much for all of your support and dedication to this story. I appreciate you so much!! Your reviews are always awesome, and they constantly brighten my day!! Next chapter is up now too btw, so I hope to hear from you again soon!! :D


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Review #13, by Gabriella Hunter False Accusations

23rd September 2014:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and it's so good to be back! I was wondering what was going to happen next in this story and you certainly didn't disappoint me.

I was really concerned about Saleena and what her new decisions would mean, I can tell that even though she didn't really feature as strongly in this chapter that they were weighing heavily on her mind. The beginning though was an interesting contrast to the later half of this chapter and I was really intrigued by Draco's recovery, he's fragile in so many ways. The first step he takes is also the first step to healing emotionally and I wonder how he'll be able to cope later on. It's obvious that he's still conflicted and it was really bold of McGonagall to offer him a chance in the Order. I wonder how much she really trusts him?

I think that the actual Order meeting was written really well. You introduced new characters smoothly and while Roxie comes off to me as far more interesting than some of the others, due to the fact that she's so original, I wasn't at all confused by who was where. Draco's observations were very honest and he's starting to realize that he's not nearly as cruel as he once was.

There was a lot of old anger though and I liked how you weaved that in. Fred and George were spot on, I think and while a lot of people wouldn't have liked this side to them, I think it fits. They were never kind to Draco before and it's not going to automatically change now.

Neville's development came as a surprise (Shame on Seamus!) and I'm curious by this side of his character but also excited to see him with Luna. I think that she was written well as well and they meshed very nicely with the scene, I would have liked to have heard Bill and Charlie give their thoughts a bit on what was going on but I'm sure you'll have time for that later.

As for this spy...you're breaking my heart. Hahaha. I am so angry and intrigued and overwhelmed by the plot twist! I can't wait for more so don't hesitate to stop by again! :D

Thanks so much for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie!! That was fast, lol!! =P
Draco's recovery scene was a new addition to this chapter when I did the rewrite, so I'm glad to see that you liked that part so well. I have been working a LOT on getting the timing and pacing of everything just right, because it was kind of all over the place before this, lol!

The Neville thing was a new change too, and I admit that I just kind of came up with the backstory on Seamus at the last minute, lol. I realized that I needed to explain why Neville was so angry and mistrusting, and so that was it. I'm really pleased to see that that was one of the first things you picked up on tho, and that it seems to have been taken well. And yes, I totally ship Neville/Luna, lol!! I was SO upset when Joe did not make this a Cannon pairing! :(

Bill, Charlie, Fred & George will definitely be seen more in the next chapter, as this news of the spy will affect all of them directly. I am curious if you have any guesses as to who it is before he/she is revealed though. You'll have to let me know if you had it figured out beforehand or not in your next review, I suppose! ;)

See ya in the next chapter... Gah!! I can't wait, haha!! :D
~Deana~


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Review #14, by Roisin Draco's Introduction

22nd September 2014:
Hello!
Ok, so I'm FINALLY here for our exchange! I wish I had more time to leave the super meaty review I want to leave, but I also wanted to get to this at last, so hopefully future reviews will make up for it!

First off, I loved this line "how stupid it is to think that anything could be fair in a war, especially love."

And there was something really interesting about the first person decision here. The self-aware "this is a book" thing was really clever, and the whole thing about there being libraries about Harry Potter--because HAHA, this is IT!

I sort of read this chapter like the introduction to a book, and like maybe the rest is kind of a biography of Draco. That, all in all, is a really interesting idea!

The idea that Lucius might be a cold hearted monster behind closed doors was super sad, but not unfounded. I remember in CoS that Harry overhears Lucius criticizing Draco for not beating Hermione in classes. It also casts the whole "Lucius bribing Draco into the Quidditch team" thing in a rather darker light--and suggests that that and other experiences might actually have been disheartening for Draco.

I'm really excited to see all this stuff play out over the course of the story!

Yay! Good luck with the Dobbys, and congrats on all your nominations!

xoxo
-Roisin

Author's Response: GAH!! I'm just SO happy you're here, lol!! Honestly, I was not expecting to get a review on this Intro, so this was such a nice surprise. I actually TRIED to delete this part when I rewrote everything, but for some reason the Story Manager will not allow me to move the 1st chapter up or down at all, so I ended up just leaving it. I'm glad to see that you liked it tho, and that you enjoy the concept behind the book idea. Kinda makes me feel like maybe the decision to leave this Intro in here was not such a bad idea after all, haha!! ;)

I too am super excited to get your feedback on the rest of the story as well!! Tho, I'll admit that I also a tad nervous too, lol! I know your a Cannon buff, and this story is slightly AU, but hopefully you will still enjoy it, nonetheless. ^_^'

I should probly note that there is a one-shot Prequel to this story that you MIGHT wanna check out BEFORE you read the 1st actual chapter; which is entitled: The Letter. The one-shot is called "Doing the Right Thing" if you're interested. It's not necessary to read it first, but it will give you some insight into what's going on come chapter 7, lol. =P

Thanks so much for this great review hun. & Never mind the length, lol, you're fine!! I cannot wait to see what you think of the rest!! :D

~Deana~


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Review #15, by slytherinchica08 Draco's Introduction

19th September 2014:
OH what a very interesting beginning. I really liked how you set up your story with this chapter. It gives us a small idea of what is going to happen ( we are going to be explained draco's side of things, how he helped Harry and about this new girl who is going to change things for him). The last few paragraphs really stood out to me. I really like the idea that Draco is going to have his story written to try and have people better understand him and what went on during his life. So I must ask, is this whole story then going to be about his story being written or I wonder how this is all going to play out. Its a very interesting concept and its one that has piqued my interest very much.

I thought this beginning was very well done. It does a great job of setting things up and allowing us to get to know the Draco that you have painted for this story. I think that he still seems very much in character here, he still seems very much about himself and wanting to improve his image and prove people wrong. I can sense some change in his character though, but not anything that seems out of character or anything, just something that comes from being in a war and experiencing things that many people never do.

I liked the look into his family life that this chapter gave as well. And probably my favorite part was the mention of how Draco thought that everyone else was wrong when it came to Voldemort. You know, it was a thought that until you mentioned it, it never crossed my mind. But now that its there I'm wondering how I never thought of that before. I mean to me it does make sense, he was raised to believe in Voldemorts cause so why wouldn't he believe that Voldemort is more the good guy and everyone else is evil, at least when he is a young enough age to just take his fathers words for everything.

Anyways, this was a great beginning and I very much look forward to reading more of this story! Thank you again for agreeing to do a review swap! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #16, by Gabriella Hunter A Drop of Veritaserum

17th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and I am a day or two late I think but I've been really busy and hadn't had the time to buckle down and get to these stories. Its been a real pain, you know.

Anyway, we're back with this! I was really intrigued and amazed by the amount of detail and history you created with the Gypsies. I thought it was really brilliant to come up with something that original and work it into a fanfic, I've never seen anything like this done before and it was a really interesting part of this chapter. It feels like a true history lesson and past, I thought that you wrote that very well.

The clan feels ancient and powerful, their own myths and beliefs truly fascinating. I like the explanation we got on Saleena's gifts and what they might mean for the future of her family as well, I could practically feel the tension in the room. Also, this is a little thing but I liked that while Hermione was reading, Ron and Harry kept interrupting her--it made the scene feel very realistc and added just a touch of humor.

To finally know more about Saleena's background was a relief and I can understand the complex relationship she has with her clan and mother. The thought of becoming queen, however, is too much for her at the moment when she enjoys the life she has right now and I'm wondering what will happen in the end of this story. It was obvious that she would rather not sacrifice it all to go back to her clan but on the other hand, it would be a good idea to stop them from being crushed by Voldemort. I wonder if she'll make it in time to see her grandmother again and what their meeting will be like once they do.

Hm...

Okay, the actual Veritaserum part of the chapter was really well-done. I've never written a story that included that particular potion. I think that you wrote it excellently, its a complicated thing to do but it felt so effortless reading it and McGongalla's questions made sense to me. They were difficult but fair and I like that you had Saleena wavering slightly on a few and resisting the potion. The dedication that she wants to have with the Order might actually be threatened by her loyalty to her family and I'm really curious to see what happens next.

I didn't spot any crazy CC's or anything but I think that you have a great pace going and your characters are staying true to themselves. :D

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Gabbie, I swear; your reviews just keep getting better & better every time, lol!! You should stop saying that you're late all the time tho, lol. I keep telling you that I'm just happy you've stopped by at all. The timing seriously means nothing to me, as long as you R&R whenever you can. I understand completely about RL being a pain and getting in the way of things, haha! =P

I'm so glad to see that you like the concept of my Gypsies here. The clan really is "ancient and powerful" so it's good to see that that is coming across well. I have pages and pages of notes on Saleena, her family, and her people, but not everything has made it's way into the bulk of the story yet, as this primarily focuses on Draco. I'm also really glad that I rewrote all of this and took more time to reveal more about Saleena and the Gypsies too. Before, it was all crammed into chapter 2, and the chapter was over 10,000+ words long, lol! But I took a lot of the backstory out there, and chose to reveal it here instead. So it's good to see that this has gotten such a positive response so far. (:

I actually wrote a one-shot from Saleena's POV that describes what happens when she goes back to the clan and see's her grandmother again for the first time. I was planning to post it in your review thread once you were at that point, but if you don't wanna wait that long then it is on my author page. The story is called "Born A Leader" and it is the 5th story down from the top. After reading this review, I am really looking forward to hearing your thoughts on that one now too!! =)

I'm glad you liked the touch of humor I added in while Hermione was reading too. I didn't wanna bore people to death with all that information, so I had to come up with something to break it up, lol! Plus it was a lot of fun to write that scene as well. I love the trio!! I struggled with the Veritaserum interview at first. It just wasn't long enough and I didn't really have very many question ideas. But then I posted a Help Topic on the Forums and some people gave me some really good ideas!! So I can't quite take ALL the credit for what that section of the chapter is now, lol! I did work very hard on it tho, so I am SO GLAD to see that you enjoyed it so much!! :D

Thanks again so much for ALL of your input, Gabbie!! I'm sorry I haven't been back to request the next chapter yet. It's just that I don't really like to do that until I have responded to the previous review first. And now that I have replied to this, I will head over to your review thread right away to post the next chapter!! Thanks so much!!

~Deana~


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Review #17, by pointless_proclamations False Accusations

16th September 2014:
Deana,

You started out with my favourite character dynamic in your story: Saleena and Draco. My cardiac muscles are mush now, thank you. And I can't seem to do anything, but a shedload of 'aww'ing in their scenes. It's so endearing that Draco wants to make Saleena proud and she doesn't want to leave him and DEANA!

Molly really is warming up to Draco. I love it. It just goes to show how motherly she is. I feel as if she's slowly substituting Draco for her children because they're all gone.

Draco's opinions about the Ministry and the way he vocalised his thoughts is amazing on so many levels. Firstly, it reminds me that he's still Draco, he still has an attitude. Secondly, it amplifies the difference between his relationship with filial relationship with Salenna in comparison to everyone else. Thirdly, it's just hilarious.

You have me sighing at their silent, seemingly telepathic, conversation.

A grin is sprouting on my face as McGonagall offers Draco to join the order saying, "you really do want to do the right thing here" because it just reminds me of your brilliant one-shot.

Draco is a very complex character. I understand that there are so many layers to him. Quite like an onion parfait because both have been used to talk about layers and Draco's character would leave a strange taste on the palate I imagine. You write him so perfectly, though. I understand because your writing is just that great.

The fact that he doesn't want to hurt Molly and Arthur's feelings only adds to my theory about potential family-orientated relationships. My cardiac muscles may as well be mush. He cares!

You made Neville yet another complex character. I can't be annoyed at him for saying such things because war just sucks is all I can say. Betrayal is a horrible thing to go through. Poor Neville. And Draco's thoughts about Luna and Neville drops almost all pretense of niceness he had from the previous scenes.

And now, Roxi is checking out Draco. It begins. :P Oh, she likes his eyes. . .

"Lost and in need of a friend" or a love life, but we can take things slow.

Oh she fancies him now?! DEANA! So not friends [eyebrows waggle].

And now he's returning the favour. . .

"Incredibly annoying." Hah! I just knew Draco wasn't going warm up to Roxi that quickly. You are not going to make one very easy, are you? But then he gapes where he should have glared.

After what the group said and thought about, it must be downright humbling to have Draco be the mature one, doesn't it? I giggle at their shame. I appreciate their not completely trusting McGonagall to once again amplify the severity of the situation. People have been so greatly affected by this war, you show that so clearly.

Ever reeling in from your series of emotional roller coasters,
Em :)

Author's Response: It makes me so happy to see that Draco & Saleena are your favorite chaBahahaha!! dynamic.Since you enjoy their scenes so much, I cannot wait til y6ou see what I have in store for their last conversation before she leaves, lol. I'm sad she's leaving too tho, lol. But it's okay tho, cuz Roxi will be around to talk him thru his problems after this, haha! ;)

I love Draco's sense of humor when it comes to the Ministry too, lol. Bahaha!! Your parfait/layers referance was hysterical!! I owe much of Neville's role in this to you tho, Em. Thank you for asking me beforehand why he was so angry, cuz I hadn't given it a second thought prior to that before, lol. You were very helpful when I was working on this chapter!! :)

OMG, your comments about Roxi/Draco just made my NIGHT, haha!! You are so funny, Em. Of course they're going to take things slow. This IS Draco Malfoy we're dealing with, after all. And he has trust issues, haha!! ;)

Im so glad you like this chapter tho. Thanks so much for ALL your compliments, Em. I continue to admire your dedication and admiration of this story. You are so wonderful, girl. *hugs* Thanks again for the review. Sorry for the long wait for replies... See ya in the next chapter!! =D


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Review #18, by crestwood False Accusations

16th September 2014:
Deana!! I finally get to tell you in full what I think about this chapter!

So, for reasons unknown, slow recoveries from injuries are just endlessly interesting for me to read about. I really enjoyed the beginning of the chapter, with Saleena rushing Draco to walk so that she could leave and not feel guilty about not being there to nurse him fully to health.

McGonagall and Draco's conversation was really great. I liked the idea that there are three sides; The Ministry, The Order and Voldemort. It does always feel as though the Order and the Ministry are not on the exact same side of the war. Like I said before, I think that McGonagall is expertly manipulating Draco to slowly prepare to reveal the information that he told Scrimgeour. Also, I loved that McGonagall said that she would to believe that Draco wants to Do The Right Thing because title drops are awesome!

I can understand why Draco would be reluctant to just come and sit this kind of meeting. Every single Order member is there and he is no friend to, well, any of them really. Roxi's first impression of Draco was a sad looking pale blonde boy who looked slightly removed and that is basically him in a nutshell. I love her musings about eyes being the window to the soul. When they lock eyes and she doesn't turn away, I just can't describe how hilarious and perfect that scene is. What a wonderful way to meet someone.

"An expert on Gypsys and their culture" is such a good cover up for what Saleena is supposed to be for the Order. I certainly understand why Neville is so weary of Roxi, seeing as there is already a spy that they know of. Also, I was Neville/Luna shippy vibes that I'm not sure are based in fact or not. The younger members of the order all seem very distrustful of McGonagall's leadership, except for Luna of course. For some reason, I can't imagine Dumbledore being questioned like this. Maybe his death hurt their unwavering trust in the wisdom of Order leaders.

Luckily Draco was able to shut everyone up and speak his piece. I am glad that he's finally going to break the news to McGonagall and the Weasley's. It's going to be upsetting to read them getting that kind of news, but worth it, if only to see how you handle their reactions to receiving that kind of news. It's one thing for him to betray you to the Ministry, but to betray you to Voldemort is certainly a step further..

Anyway, I can't wait to read about the conversation that happens after this cliffhanger. I'm sure you've written it flawlessly. Your writing is foolproof, really. Amazing as always. Thank you for the swap!

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Review #19, by Gabriella Hunter Trustworthy

12th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie with your review, sorry that I'm so late but I've been really busy and that's such a drag. Hahhahaha.

Its good to be back, I was really curious on what was going to happen next after that explosive chapter and you didn't disappoint me. I'm worried about Draco though, he has information that he's not willing to give and while I can understand that he might be a bit afraid, it can prove to be a deadly mistake down the line. Saleena of course has her own secrets and by the end of this chapter I was wondering what was going to happen for her to finally crack. I know that there's a lot going on right now with her family but she could save a lot of lives if she gave up just a bit of what she knows. You mentioned that you were worried about characterization but I think that you wrote Saleena very well here. She was still headstrong and still determined but there was a bit of vulnerability there that I thought was a nice touch. It made her feel more real to me and I'm curious to see if you'll explore that side of her more. I also enjoyed your introduction of Tonks and Remus, I think that you did a very good job with them--they're two characters that I've never written before but they seem very in character here. This mysterious girl from America sounds interesting so I'm hoping that I'll hear about that a bit more, there's something fishy about it!

So, Voldemort is looking for the Gypsies? That is not good news. I was really horrified to read that! I wonder though, how he learned about them and what his real motives are. I hope you go into more detail there because I was a bit confused me that he would suddenly be interested in a throne that not too many people know about. I'm sure you'll explain that in another chapter!

As usual, your characters are excellent and your pacing, flow and take on familiar faces was very spot on.

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: OMGosh, IDK how I missed this one!! So sorry, Gabbie. I really thought that I had already replied to this a while ago now...

Not to worry about Draco's withholding information, lol. This shall all be revealed soon, as I'm sure you know now, lol! Everything about Saleena will all be made known soon as well. I mean, secrets this big cannot possibly stay hidden forever, can they? ;)

Sorry fir the confusion about Voldemort and the Gypsies. He's really only interested in them because he wants to be in control of everything, lol. But there is a ton more information to be revealed about the Gypsies and their history in the next chapter. Sorry fir making you wait so long to find out about this stuff, but I couldn't reveal ALL my secrets right at the beginning, haha! =P

Thanks so much for the comments on my characterization and pacing/flow. I have been working very hard to get that last thing right especially!! I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your reviews, Gabbie!! You are Awesome!! Thank you SO MUCH!!! =D


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Review #20, by pointless_proclamations A Drop of Veritaserum

11th September 2014:
Dear Deana,

Never have I been more motivated to follow through with a story more than I have with yours right now. This is the result of your genius plot, your empathisable characters amongst the ones you know I love to hate ([cough] Percy [cough]), and the lovely way you write.

It is very nice to see Ron in a better mood. Although I think that has to do with his infatuation for Hermione, if I am not mistaken. It still very nice nonetheless. That scene proved that he is not, in fact, all bad. I really can't hate him now.

I still love the Gypsy concept. Even more so now. Zirconium? Hmm. What will you be doing with that idea, Deana? You've got me thinking. I am doubting the presence of a nuclear reactor in this story, so what have you thought up in that brilliant mind of yours that happens to contain Zirconium? Jewelry? A television screen? Surgical tools? I cannot wait to read on and find out! You have me rather frightened because it's not a very rare element, is it? Why couldn't it have been Astatine (I understand why, but Deana, Saleena is such a great character and I don't want to see anything bad happen to her, but it will and I know it, but. . . Do you see what you're doing to me with your characters?!)?

That whole interview is so well written! I followed every single word because that's what your writing does to me! That's how awesome you are. I've never seen an interview that can be emotionally likened to a roller coaster before this chapter.

You worried me, for a second, I was so sure that Minerva was going to kick her out. And what she said about Gypsies and Malfoys really supports Draco and Salenna's familial relationship. Again, I love the way you reinforce that brother-sister bond between them. I imagine they relate to each other on so many levels and I've told you this before, but I must tell you again how much I love what's going on between the two. I am a big sucker for family bonds like that, lack of blood relation notwithstanding. It's just beautiful! [incomprehensible 'GAHH's]

If there is a better way to write this chapter, I wouldn't know how. Deana, this one is perfect. You keep pushing the boundary on my definition of perfect. It blows my mind.

Your fan and still very enthusiastic reviewer,
Em :D

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Review #21, by crestwood A Drop of Veritaserum

8th September 2014:
I am so happy to get all of this new information about your Gypsys in this chapter! The history that you've built with the Gypsy wars is mindblowing. We already knew from Saleena's conversation with her mother that Gypsys disliked males, but this is the first we hear of their disagreement with Statute of Secrecy. You even incorporated the witch-hunts! And the zirconium weakness seems as though it may come back later in the story. And it seems I was also correct in my assumption that Gypsys age differently than Wizards!

For some reason, I loved what the locket did to Hermione in this chapter. I wonder what the Weasley's are going to do once they find out that Percy is the Death Eater spy. I assume that it can only be a matter of time before the Order finds out now that Scrimgeour knows.

McGonagall's interview with Saleena was so amazingly well written! It didn't drag on. It lasted just long enough so that she could make sure that she was on their side and no longer. I'm glad she's going to be accepted into the Order.

I wasn't expecting anyone to find out that Saleena is a Gypsy so soon in the story! I'm kind of glad that she refused to go back and lead them because that would totally blow her cover as a non-Gypsy and also because I'm not sure what would stop the pro-Voldemort Gypsys from kidnapping her and bringer her to him. At the same time, I'm extremely excited to see her go and learn to perfect her gift with her mother and even meet some and covert some other Gypsys to the Order's cause. I have really been wanting to see what they're like and how far Saleena's gift can be stretched. I'm so happy McGonagall understands how badly they need her in the Order and didn't stop trusting her or kick her out of the order for refusing to become the leader of the Gypsys. Their agreement seems like a reasonable compromise and hopefully it'll work out for everyone.

We didn't get a huge cast of characters in this chapter, as it was fairly centered upon only a few events, but I for one think that it can be a good thing to take an entire chapter to cover important events like this interview and not write past it and clutter the chapter with too much new information and too much happening. I think you're giving us information at a really spot-on speed and I am enjoying being here to read it as it happens. Excellent work Deana, really excellent work. I can't wait for the next chapter! This story is just impossibly good!

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Review #22, by crestwood Trustworthy

8th September 2014:
Okay, so I have already read this and I have just re-read just to refresh my memory in order to leave a detailed enough review and it honestly effected me just as much as the first time. I will tell you that you always surprise me. Every. single. time. I don't know how that is possible. You'd think a fellow would get used to this flawless prose, having read so much of it.

Saleena is here at the beginning being just about as all around wonderful as usual. She's really so intelligent and caring, it's impossible not to like her. I'm glad that Draco didn't tell her about Percy yet though. He's right, it wouldn't be right to tell her before telling the Weasleys.
Of course Saleena is considering joining the Order. It only makes sense with her bravery and good heart to fight for good, especially in a war that she is already irreversibly in the middle of, not only because of her work with the Malfoys, but because of what we find out at the end of this chapter. But, that can be saved for later in the review, I believe.

I'm so glad Remus and Tonks have now shown up in this story! And even more excited that Roxi is going to make her grand entrance soon as well!
I almost forgot that Remus and Saleena would know each other! Does she look so young because Gypsys have some kind of magic that causes them to age slower? It's so great that she and Tonks seem to get along in their short conversation! McGonagall and Molly's hug made me so happy because I did always picture them as people that could be friends, if they weren't already.

I really enjoy seeing McGonagall as the leader of the Order. She commands such respect, that woman.

It's so sad seeing Saleena mention Sirius now.. I can't really stomach it.

Moody always seems to die protecting someone, even in AU stories. I suppose that's just in his nature.

The fact that Voldemort is searching for Gypsys was HUGE news! It officially means that Saleena isn't just implicated in the war from a distance any longer. She is hopelessly entangled just the same as any of the Order members. She's right to be afraid. It's actually a very good thing that she is (almost) an order member now, because she's going to need some help avoiding Voldemort now that he's made it his mission to find her.

This chapter was just as exhilarating as the rest of this story! You find a way to enthrall me even in chapters that mostly consist of exposition and conversation. Everything in this story unravels at the perfect pace and everything is connected. I'm so glad there's another chapter waiting for me, honestly. I don't know what I'd do if there wasn't. Again, this was such a great job!

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Review #23, by Gabriella Hunter Under Arrest

6th September 2014:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums dumping this review on you and I'm back a bit early this time around so that's cause for a celebration! Whoo!

I was really anxious about what was going to happen with the gang from the last chapter and my goodness, what a rollercoaster! My heart was pounding and I seriously thought that this was going to be the end of something that I am falling in love with. Luckily, things didn't go the way that I thought, which was a great surprise and awesome writing on your part! The beginning of this chapter with Molly and Hermione was such a peaceful way to start the chapter and actually a bit ironic considering all the turmoil and anger the boys were going through upstairs, including what happened shortly afterward. I never expected what the Minister would have done at the end of this but it was a rough ride for me, I'm telling you. I think that you wrote the Minister really well (I shall not even attempt to spell his name right now) though! He's unforgiving, thoughtful and fierce and it really showed that he was an Auror in the past, though he was so unwilling to bend that it made me really scared for the group. Oh, and would it be all right if I punched Percy? Ugh, he made me so angry! I can't believe him! I do like that you kept his character so close to canon though and I honestly don't think that he would give up his position in the Ministry for his own parents and there is the tragedy. But really?! He let Molly get arrested and used an Unforgivable curse on his own father? Okay, I might have to stop being in love with him at this point. Hahahah. I wonder how you're going to have them reconcile later or if you even will--I wouldn't blame you, I feel so badly for Arthur and Molly.

Molly of course was brave and a surprise here, I never thought that she would have given up Draco but I figured that she had another plan. It was frightening of course and I was really worried but I think that you wrote that beautifully and of course, the scene with Draco and the Minister himself was just...fantastic. I have no other way of explaining it. I'm in awe of what you did with these two characters and the deal that they made of course had my jaw dropping! Draco certainly wasn't expecting that and his life is quickly turning into something that he can't control, which I find so delicious, he's going to have to change in order to become someone new. Ah, I love it.

Anyhoo, Saleena of course was a welcome surprise and she can really talk some sense into people, can't she? I'm glad that she managed to get there in time and I hope we learn a bit more about what was going on in her mind during all of this, I was so blown away by the others that I didn't give her the justice she deserved!

I only spotted a few grammar things in the beginning but otherwise, great work! I hope to see you again! Since I am a Percy enthusiast, I was wondering if you'd like to try out his story on my author's page? Its called "This is Audrey Tang: The Bad Taste" and it won't be what you expect. ;)

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hello again Gabbie!! You saying that you are falling in love with this story just made my day. Seriously, nothing makes me more happy than to see that all the work I have put into rewriting this story over the summer is finally paying off. I mean, I knew that the plot and the ideas and everything in the original version were all good, it was just a bit poorly executed because my writing was, well, not on par back in 2009 with what it is now in 2014, lol. I was working on chapter 37 for this back in June, and then I decided to go back and reread over the first 10-15 chapters. I was so shocked to see first-hand just how much my writing has actually changed over the past 6 years!! And I knew right then that if I redid the beginning of this, to get it to match the quality of the ending chapters, then this story could probly be something really special once more. So I made it my goal to bring this back from the dead, so-to-speak, and I just LOVE how much people are enjoying it. Seeing reviews like this make me so proud that I decided to return to HPFF (after my 1.5 year hiatus) and make a comeback with this Novel, haha!

I'm glad you liked my take on Scrimgeour. (And I can never spell his name right either. I had to add it into the auto-correct on my computer to make sure that I always got it right, lol!) And thanks for commenting on the scene between Molly & Hermione. I'm glad somebody picked up on that, lol. Besides, I couldn't just cut Hermione out altogether. So this was the best way I could think of to show what she is doing with her time at the Burrow. Sorry I made you so nervous, but it was necessary, lol. See, in the original version of the story, I skipped over this part entirely because Scrimgeour's character was rather intimidating to write, and I just couldn't really get this scene to work for me. But when I rewrote everything, I made it a point to MAKE it work and this (as well as the one-shot the precedes this) was the end result. I am quite satisfied with the way that everything has turned out, so I'm glad that others seem to be happy with it too. I was ecstatic when I saw that you thought the scene between Draco & Scrimgeour was so FANTASTIC!

I was really nervous to see how you would react to Percy's role in this one, lol. And honestly, if you keep reading, I am anxious to hear your thoughts on him in the future chapters as well. I won't go into much detail, cuz I don't wanna ruin the surprise if you haven't guessed it yet, but I can tell you now that there will be no reconciliation between them at any time in the near future. Percy has chosen his path, and the road he is going down is leading him farther and farther away from his family, I'm afraid. Hopefully you will continue to read and see what surprises I have in store for Percy Weasley's character and the rest of his family. It's gonna be a pretty bumpy ride, lol! ;)

I'm glad Molly's actions were received so well. She really was caught between a rock and a hard place there, and when the Minister asked them if they had anything they would like to confess; she spoke up and did what it took to protect her family. At that point, it wasn't even about Draco – it was about her husband and his job. And then she reached out to Saleena in a desperate attempt to get them out of the situation. Molly may have acted brave, but she was terrified on the inside... Im glad you like Saleena's character so much too. You will be seeing more of her, and learning about her history and mysterious past here within the next two chapters. So please stay tuned!!

Thanks so much for this wonderful review, Gabbie. You have just made my day!! And of course I will check out your story for you!! It's the least I can do after you have been so awesome! I gotta work the next few days tho, so it may take me a few to get to it. But I would be happy to give it a read & review just for you! Thanks again for everything, Gabbie!! I will be back to re-request shortly!

~Deana~


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Review #24, by Gabriella Hunter Same Side Now

5th September 2014:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums dumping this review on you and can you believe that I was really sick these past two days? I was so under the weather that I could barely even roll over and that, my friend, was a nasty bit of grossness that we shall not discuss. Hahahah.

Anyhoo, on to this! I think that you covered a lot of ground in this chapter and I'm not sure at all how you managed to get through it all without combusting on the spot. Draco really showed a lot of himself in this chapter though, this vulnerable and weak side of him is far more interesting to me than the one that is usually portrayed and you did an excellent job. I thought that his conversation with Harry was very intense and I really love that you showed both of their opinions in this. It wasn't just Harry blaming Draco for being a prat and it wasn't just Draco blaming Harry for all of his problems, they actually managed to meet in the middle and work through their issues to some degree. There was something so wonderful and bitter about that part of the chapter and once Draco realized that he was not, in fact, being made fun of and was actually being shown genuine concern, I sort of felt my heart clench for him. It seems like Draco is always on edge, he's never quite sure what's real and what isn't and I think Harry gave him something that he had never had before--trust--and I wonder what might happen in the future.

Now, Ron on the other hand showed all the signs of someone who will NEVER be able to tolerate an enemy. I like the contrast that you did there with the three boys, their varying POVs and opinions really got me into their heads better and while I can understand why Ron feels the way he does, there really isn't any time for it. I enjoyed his bantering with Draco, however. Hahah.

That last little bit has me SO nervous! Voldemort knows where Draco is--The MINISTRY knows where Draco is and now there's a looming threat hanging over their heads in the form of the Minister himself! What?! I can't wait to see what happens next so don't be shy about re-requesting, I'm really anxious!

Another great chapter, I didn't spot any CC's, your pacing is great and your characters have compelling depth. :D

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Aww, I am so sorry to hear that you are still not feeling well, Gabbie. I hope you get better soon! I hate being sick. It is the absolute worst. =/

This chapter and the next one are my favorites out of all the ones that I have re-written so far. I'm glad you have found this "new side" of Draco to be so interesting. Hopefully this impression shall continue, haha!

I was a little nervous at writing Harry, I'll be honest. (I mean, he's HARRY POTTER, lol!!) But since this is AU, the trio have been thru alot in the past year and a half out on their own, and Harry has really had to step it up as a leader. It is for that reason that I see Harry as taking a "bigger-picture" approach on things. He's tired of fighting, and he sees potential in Draco as an ally. They all know that Draco can give them inside information on Voldemort, and everyone is craving for said info. I'm really glad to see that you liked the Harry/Draco side of the conversation so well. You analyzed everything rather well, and I especially liked what you had to say about Draco being on edge and unsure of what is real. He certainly does have a LOT of trust issues to work thru here, lol.

Ron is stubborn and bull-headed, and I imagine that he will always be so. Much like the Gryffindor/Slytherin rivalry, I cannot see Ron (or the twins, for that matter) letting up so easily on the Malfoy/Weasley rivalry. Add to that the fact that he is already in a PO'd mood from wearing the Horcrux all day & night, and you have one angry Weasley, lol. He may come around one of these days tho. Who knows? ;)

I enjoyed writing the banter between Ron and Draco a lot too, but not nearly as much as I liked doing the beginning scene with him and Harry. I tried hard to explore all three of the boys in this though, and get each of their opinions across well. And I am particularly glad to see that you caught on to the contrast between all three of the boys in this. (:

Yep. The secret is out. Everyone knows where Draco is now! Dun-dun-dun!!! I cannot wait to see what you think of the next chapter. I have already re-requested, haha!! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review this, Gabbie, I really appreciate it! You are such a star reviewer, my dear. Hope you are feeling much better now. See ya in the next chapter!! =)

~Deana~


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Review #25, by pointless_proclamations Trustworthy

5th September 2014:
Deana, this story is so addicting that I really can't stay away. Every chapter becomes my new favourite. :D

I love this moment between Draco and Saleena. You've shown
their dynamic beautifully. I felt my heart almost physically warm. Now that they've both made themselves uninvolved with the remaining members of their biological family, they're turning to each other, aren't they?! It's so sweet! Bahh! I love it. And they were already close before I guess.

You can't imagine how much excitement you introduced into my system when you mentioned Tonks and Remus. And it only increased when you mentioned a particular girl from America. Roxi! Roxi and Draco! I can't wait! Only more awesomeness will ensue knowing your writing.

Your ability to maintain interest at this level is figuratively mind-blowing.

No, Tonks. We do want Roxi here!

The moments that followed: the mention of Mad-Eye, Remus greeting Saleena, it was all so full bittersweetness. It's beautiful, Deana! :D

I found Minerva's reaction to Molly, the hug, so endearing. It shows their really close friendship well. And it introduces the role Minerva will play here just as well. She'll be more intimately involved with the characters. This is no longer Hogwarts and with that hug you've reminded us of that. Ingenious.

Minerva! She really is very worried. Enough to forget that Saleena's not being part of the Order. It is evident that she has so much on her mind. You've thought this through magnificently well!

Little brother! So they are like family! And they'll only get closer
because of this won't they? I love this familial dynamic between the two. I just really do. :D You've written their relationship out so well.

Something happened to Mad-Eye in the warehouse? Is that
how he died here? You never seem to run out of things to
increase my interest in LNW and inspire even more questions. The result of this is my inability to stop reading.

And there's the answer! Wow you made my heart metaphorically drop with that anecdote. I love how you keep stressing the seriousness of this war.

The plot is so thick that even gamma rays cannot pass through it. Gypsies are being taken in?!

There is something so attractive about your writing. So undeniably captivating and magnificent! You have magical writing capabilities.

And, as ever, your last sentence has me impatiently awaiting the next chapter.

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