A very good chapter. There were no mistakes at all.
I like how you described his recent past. That's an element that's often missing from stories. Readers want to find out about the past.
I like how you said she was a Lycan, like Remus, and that somewhat drew them together. How else could he have known where she was all the time?
One thing you could have added was her name. I always provide the names of all my characters so readers find out one of the basic elements that make up a character's personality. I know she had white hair, but what else? Her eyes? Her skin tone? What was she wearing on the parchment?
All in all, a fantastic chapter, with few things that need to be added. I rate this 10/10.Author's Response: Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
sorry for the late reply. ^^
i thought best to let her character description out rather than explain what she looked like completely. either way, thank you for reviewing!! Report Review
Hmm, I like it. Very insightful. Poor Remus. To have a girl he loves missingAuthor's Response: thank you! Report Review
You know what, this story is perfect pertaining to Remus's character. I feel like he regretted a lot of things in his life, Marrying tonks, being a teacher, having a kid. Sometimes a story is okay if it's short, short makes a point. Good job!Author's Response: >.< thank you so much! Report Review
Hmm, nice work. This was well written, but it left me a little confused. I thought she was dead at first, but that changed as I neared the end. I don't know - maybe you could expand on his feeling of regret a little more, and drop some more on how she went missing, why she went missing ... why she was pretending to be a human pretending to be a werewolf. This piece has great scope for a good plot, you just need to expand a little more.
Grammar, punctuation and flow were all great :).Author's Response: thank you so much for the review!
i keep forgetting that just because i know who or what she is or was doing doesn't mean others will ^^;
i was planning on fixing it up with my editor later.
thank you again! XD Report Review
This story was so sad! But I still liked it.
I love unhappy endings so I enjoyed this story a lot. You got Remus' characterization perfectly and the feelings were written well too.
There were a few questions left unanswered though? Like what exactly is a Lycan? She was actually a Lycan pretending to be human pretending to be a Lycan right? so why was she even pretending to be human?
Also, you should make your paragraphs smaller.
-limelight1816Author's Response: Thank you and I'm glad you liked it.
As the response box just erased my entire explanation for some reason I can't answer. So it's might be best to ask that question on my meet the author thread. ^^; Report Review
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