wow this story's beautiful! you must write more, or is moonlight the continuation?Author's Response: thank you so much! actually this one's kind of the continuation, on some levels, from Harry's point of view. really they work on different timelines that do overlap here and there, but for all intents and purposes...i guess this like the in between in moonlight--as in between Remus and Dora dying and Ted reading the journals years later. Report Review
In your novel "Moonlight" You said that Andromeda was a Slytherin, not a Ravenclaw...so was that an error?Author's Response: yes, that was an error. thank you for pointing that out. it's supposed to be slytherin. :D and thank you for reading of course too. Report Review
you have GOT to continue this! i've never read any fan fiction before but this is on par with the official books.
i want more darnit!Author's Response: i will no worries! just on a bit of a haitus on this one. but more will come soon. :)
thanks for reading and reviewing. Report Review
teddy and harry relationship type fic always made me happy.
each and every line is perfect, but my fave part is where andy asked abt her sisters and that simple line has so much meaning, even though bella was complete opposite of andy, but she was her elder sister.
10/10Author's Response: aw thanks! :) Report Review
I have read all the chapter(some of them several times) in your other story, Moonlight, and this kinda feels like its build up to that story and I like it. For some reason you often write about the people I like to read about especially Remus :) Nice story, you are the best author on this page. 10/10Author's Response: wow, yay, thank you so much, i'm glad you like. :) Report Review
Severus Snape was as cunning as a Slytherin, as intelligent as a Ravenclaw, as faithful as a Hufflepuff and as brave as a Gryffindor.Author's Response: i agree wholeheartedly. and you see, we see again the complications involved with sorting. :)
thanks for the review! Report Review
I recently found this story, and I am really enjoying it! I can't wait until you update again!Author's Response: thanks so much! this story is actually kind of on haitus, but it should be going on within the next few months or so. but i've got a bunch of other stories, including the big one i'm working on, moonlight if you're a fan of remus and tonks! :) Report Review
Really need more I know how long it must take especially with all your stories but please!!! This is goodAuthor's Response: thank you! will try to update soon after i finish with moonlight but for now this one's on haitus for a bit. ;) Report Review
Okay I definitely have to rescind my previous statement about the chapter before this being the best... as this one without a doubt is the best. There are so many good things about this chapter I don't really know where to begin. You know those swoops of excitement you got when you first read the book? I get those all the time in your writing (particularly in this chapter and pretty much all the time in "Moonlight"). You do romance about a thousand times better than Rowling, your Harry and Ginny are perfect together (and they are perfect emulations of Rowling... which is really what any fanfiction writer should be going for), and I am proud to say that your stories have filled that special place that all readers of fanfiction have: Your stories are now my "Potter Reality." Honestly, I don't want anyone else (except maybe Rowling herself) to write, all I want is more of "the Godfather" and more Adoranymph! You are fantastic!!Author's Response: wow, thank you so much! :) Report Review
Great Chapter... the best of the book. They're just too damn short! Please write some more I can't wait!Author's Response: thank you! gosh it's so hard to keep up. :) Report Review
Perhaps a little uninspired as compared to the other funeral scenes you have written as of yet, but I greatly admire your ability to really bring Harry to life, as well as how well you capture the dialogue between Harry, Ron, and Hermione. I continue on!Author's Response: thank you, and thanks for reading or reviewing! :) Report Review
Great chapter! I got so excited when Umbridge got whupped and then she got the sack. Your version of Harry is really spot on too. Bravo! This is really great!Author's Response: thank you! :) Report Review
You've proven once again that you are one of the best writers on the site. Well done!Author's Response: thank you! :) Report Review
I figure the least I can do while I enjoy your writing is to review every chapter, so that's what I'm going to do!
Overall, I feel that the quality of your writing remains very high. For the most part, your rhetorical devices are top notch, and I particularly like "like two children caught in a frightening storm with no one but the other for comfort. However, I think that this simile might have a little more weight if it were a metaphor with a few less words. Maybe: and clasped tight together; two children caught in a storm with only the other for comfort.
I'm always saying stuff about the consistency of writing, and I found that in the first paragraph there wasn't a whole lot of consistency. You have words like "nutter" and "spunk", and these don't really fit with most of your descriptive writing. In fact, it might be easier to reserve more informal words only for dialogue (this is what you normally do, and you do it brilliantly). It takes away from the consistency of your writing, and words like those listed above stick out like sore thumbs to a reader, or at least they do to me.
I also wanted to point out some strange words in the fourth paragraph. You write "George spoke as thought he'd lost half his soul, practically." Why not: "George spoke as though he'd lost half his soul." He almost has lost half of his soul; Fred and George were always a single entity in the books and when Rowling killed Fred she practically killed half of George. You also write (in the same paragraph) "Harry had never seen him more somber, and it virtually pained him to see him that way." Why not: "Harry had never seen him more somber, and it truly pained him to to see George that way" (the pronouns get a smidge confusing).
As I've said before, please don't take my criticism the wrong way. I really love your stories and I can (and do) read them for hours and hours on end. Congrats on another great chapter!Author's Response: that's okay! i love constructive criticism and i'm always working to improve my writing. :) Report Review
A very good beginning... though a bizarre transformation in the point-of-view between Harry and Remus (as just earlier today I was reading more "Moonlight"). The writing is concise and clear, and the dialogue (not that there's all that much, so I'll have to reserve full judgement of that for later) is consistent. However, I found that the emotions were a little strange considering the death that everyone is experiencing. Harry seems to swing back and forth between happiness and sadness, and Andromeda doesn't seem sad enough for long enough. But other than that, a very good start to what I'm sure will be a good book.Author's Response: yeah it was kind of quickly written, but i'm glad you liked it otherwise. thanks! :) Report Review
i need more! what happens to Ginny and Harry? does he feel lonely? What happens at his job? I just love all the stories you write and they go along so well with the books. I especially love moonlight. Keep it up.Author's Response: thank you so much! i will try and get back to this story as soon as possible. :) Report Review
what is wrong with him?!
he shouldnt keep that from teddy!
ugh im so mad at harry right now
great story by the way
i love it
=]Author's Response: thanks!
don't be too mad at harry, he wasn't thinking. and he'll find ways around andromeda. ;) Report Review
I love how you've laid out the plans of the Trio and a few others now that the funerals are over and it's time to move on. The ending of this one was an excellent climax as well!Author's Response: thank you! :) Report Review
A bit too mooshy for me, but I think it was still very good. I think...I can't honestly judge it...
;-)Author's Response: that's okay. thanks for the review anyway! :) Report Review
There's so much good stuff in this chapter that I don't know where to begin. Suffice it to say, Harry's performance at Snape's funeral was beautiful. So very touching, and again, so very well done. I am jealous!Author's Response: why thank you again! :) Report Review
Admittedly, this chapter made me so angry that it's beyond words. That is, I suppose, the mark of excellent writing and the difference between your style and mine. I would have had Harry kill the little Toad right then and there! I guess this comes from personal experience and reignition of boiling rage when I've been in similar situations. Then again, I do have a slight problem with explosive violence! Well done.Author's Response: thank you. :) Report Review
Touching. Again, it sounds like the voice of experience. If not, then still so very well done. A lot of good emotions and corrections to Harry here - and it seems that he needed them! ONward!Author's Response: thank you! :) Report Review
Such a mix of emotions in this chapter, and all well done. I was laughing at:“Of all of the other things Voldemort had to do, he had to go and mess with the flow of the school system too!” Hermione muttered agitatedly. “Practically a whole half a generation is being pushed back a year because of him!”
The funerals were tasteful, as well, and the reunion at the end was perfect. So many try to capture moments like these, and utterly fail. I daresay it sounds like experience talking.Author's Response: thank you. i have a little experience, and for the most part i try to do a funeral justice to the person who died, even when they are characters in a beloved book series. Report Review
This is just beautifully written. A couple of typos, but nothing to mar the perfection of Harry's reaction to the baby. How funny that he was the savior of wizard-kind, and is terrified of holding a baby!Author's Response: thank you! typos you say? i might have to go back and remedy those. :D Report Review
great chapter this one and i'm sorry i took so long to review!^_^
Harry and GinnyAuthor's Response: don't worry about. ;)
thank you! Report Review
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