Reading Reviews for Death's Kiss
  
50 Reviews Found

Review #1, by UnluckyStar57 Taken

13th November 2013:
Hi! I finished this story just now and I thought I would leave a review on a chapter that didn't have any. :)

This story was very interesting. It isn't the sort of thing that I usually read--I tend to skip over the stories where Harry has a long-lost sister--but this one was unique in that Alli is Harry's cousin.

Her relationship with Malfoy seems to have moved rather quickly! It was quite surprising, especially when she just kept going back to him, even after Ginny's surprising revelation. But it was interesting, and the whole relationship really helped the plot move along.

Her connection with Harry is extremely cool, and I think that you could've explored it a little more before wrapping everything up with the Killing Curse. However, I am sure that I'll see more in the sequel.

I'll review again soon!

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! I'm really glad that you enjoyed it and I hope that you enjoy the sequel as well. Personally, I like the sequel a lot better. I think it has a more intense plot and lots of emotion. Let me know what you think! Thanks!

Shelby


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Review #2, by 227743Weasley The Burrow

23rd September 2012:
I like it, except i think ali is a not so nice word at the moment :p, shes a potter she should not be a slytherin and she should certainly not get so upset about it. what is wrong with this chick. good job so far :)

Author's Response: Just because Alli is a Potter doesn't mean she has to follow in the same steps as Harry and Harry's parents. She's her own person too so just keep that in mind. I'm glad you are enjoying my story though! I enjoy reading reviews so please let me know what you think! Thanks!

Shelby


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Review #3, by titch95 Forever

28th February 2012:
So sad :( But really good!!! Great writing and emotions

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it! And thank you for taking the time to review.

Shelby


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Review #4, by Mona The Burrow

3rd May 2011:
Another good one! Getting very intriguing.

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing!!

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Review #5, by Mona The Only Remaining Witch

3rd May 2011:
Wow! Grabs your attention from the first word and doesn't let go! Great writing, great imagination!

Author's Response: Thank you!

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Review #6, by Chiquita The Burrow

24th March 2011:
Great caption with the readers attention... I was really amazed at how they were so alike..

Author's Response: Thanks again for your review!

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Review #7, by Chiquita The Only Remaining Witch

24th March 2011:
Falling into your mystery story. Its nice how Harry shows up. Keep on and surprise me with more. The beginning just sinks you all into the story..

Author's Response: Yay! I'm so glad you liked the hook. Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #8, by Daniel The Burrow

30th November 2010:
Good overall. However, character behavior seems uncharacteristic in some places. Additionally, Dudley's description of Allison seems unnecessary and showy.

Author's Response: Mmk. I've gotten a lot of people saying that about Dudley's reaction. I kind of just wanted to try and make it humorous but at the same time kind of the way it comes about. But thank you for the review!

Shelby


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Review #9, by Daniel The Only Remaining Witch

30th November 2010:
A good write. Characters act believably and story is original without being over the top. Interested to see where this goes.

Author's Response: :) I'm so glad you liked it. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story!

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Review #10, by Allison Forever

12th August 2010:
this is awesome!
I love this story cause my name is in it, haha.
I hope you are adding more, its a chilling cliffhanger!

Author's Response: Hahaha. Yeah that's funny that you're name is in it. lol. And I am adding more I just have to wait for it to be validated.

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Review #11, by Katie Forever

11th August 2010:
I hope your planning to add on to this story. I like it :)

Author's Response: Haha yes. It's almost finished!

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Review #12, by Jenny Forever

11th August 2010:
this is fucking amazing, keep up the good work.

Author's Response: Hahaha! Thanks. I'm really glad you're enjoying it. I absolutely love writing it. It's so fun and like getting reviews makes me smile. Thanks for taking the time to review. :)

Shelby


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Review #13, by qtbaby88 Draco's Secret Place

14th July 2010:
oh whats gunna happen sry i sound like a freak im eating chocolate and it makes me hyper lol

Author's Response: Haha. It's okay. Chocolate makes me hyper too. And you'll see what's gonna happen I just posted the next chapter so give it a few days and it'll be up. :) Thanks for reading!

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Review #14, by qtbaby88 I Would Never Hurt You

8th July 2010:
aw poor Ginny but i hope something clicks in either Allis head or Dracos head that things need to change but love the story

Author's Response: I'm so glad you like it. I work really hard on my stories and I love getting reviews. So thank you. Haha. I'm posting another chapter right now. So after a couple days it'll be up.

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Review #15, by Potter_Princessx3 The Only Remaining Witch

3rd July 2010:
Ahahaha, i love this story...
So far it is really great!
I love this part:
“This doesn't make any sense,” Harry told her.


“Does anything in your life ever make sense?” Allison reminded him.
hahaha.
Great job,
* I added you and this story to my faveroites...
Im readin gyour next chapters now (:

Author's Response: cool haha. thanks for your review. i'm really glad you like it!

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Review #16, by daydreamingofdraco Ginny's Story

9th June 2010:
Again.I loved it ! keep writing very enetertaining..
x

Author's Response: :) Thank you. I really appreciate your review. Keep reading!

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Review #17, by daydreamingofdraco It's Not Real

9th June 2010:
I abselutly was laughing all the way throuh this, I also loved your previous chapter! VERY humerous and witty...clap clap to you.
x

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you like it.

Shelby


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Review #18, by frodolove12 The Only Remaining Witch

24th January 2010:
really interesting first chapter!!

Author's Response: Merci. I really need to get working on re-writing the rest of the chapters. haha.

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Review #19, by lifyndra Diagon Alley

8th October 2009:
Ah ha! So she's a Slytherin, eh? Nice twist. I like how she and Harry have an almost twin-like connection, even with all of their differences. I also like the witty banter in this chapter when Harry and Alli first arrive at the burrow. :)

Author's Response: Thanks. If you have any further comments just email me and i can revise the chapter. If not, go me!

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Review #20, by muinthil Diagon Alley

6th October 2009:
Great continuation and development of the plot. The chapter is well written and I like the dialogue between the characters. I do find it a little hard to believe that they all seem rather accepting of Alli being Harry's cousin. Typically, I think Hermione would be a bit more suspicious and Draco wouldn't be as attracted to her. He most likely would have been more repulsed once he found out she was a Potter. That would actually add some interesting conflict into your story if Draco starts falling for her despite Alli being related to Harry. Something to consider but overall it was a pretty good chapter.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review and for the time you took out to read this chapter.

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Review #21, by muinthil The Burrow

6th October 2009:
The story is progressing nicely. Your story flow is very good. You don't rush too much with the details. But what kinda has me wondering is how Harry is so accepting of Allison. He just lets her, a stranger, spend the night? I would think Harry would be a bit more suspicious since he doesn't have much proof she is his cousin. It may be something to consider.

Author's Response: I'm actually reworking this entire story right now. So everything should be changing very soon.

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Review #22, by muinthil The Only Remaining Witch

6th October 2009:
Hi there! It's Muinthil from the forum with your review! I like your intro paragraph. It works to grab the reader's attention and to get your plot moving from the start. Keep an eye on Allison though. She seems to be rather Mary Sue and you will find many readers tend to not like that. I think the biggest part that makes her a Mary Sue is how she also has a scar and survived Voldemort. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but you may find some reviewers commenting on the same thing. Also, I noticed some very minor grammar and spelling errors but nothing really big. I suggest getting a beta if you don't already have one!

Author's Response: Thanks. I just got a beta so she's helping me with everything.

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Review #23, by lifyndra The Burrow

1st October 2009:
I like the way you write the Dursleys, haha! I also like that Harry and Alli are developing a sort of temperamental friendship. :)

Author's Response: That's good. And yes they start to build it, but as I am revising I'm going to try and get them to build on it more as the story goes on as Harry starts getting pushed out of the story because of Alli and Draco's relationship.

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Review #24, by lifyndra The Only Remaining Witch

30th September 2009:
Hey! I really like this so far. I've never read a story with any OC relatives of Harry before; I think it's got potential :) I'm checking out the other version right now, heehee...

Author's Response: Thanks so much, lifyndra. I love ur beta-readingness. It's awesome.

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Review #25, by Rose_Weasley123 Diagon Alley

24th September 2009:
Okay second last review

No major problems with spelling and grammar. Pay attention to punctuation.

The one thing you need to focus on is characterization. Harry is far angrier than he is in the book. He does have occasional strops, but he doesn’t get angry at everything. Maybe say his lines to yourself, and then compare them to the books. The thing is, it would be okay if he was an OC, but as he is a Canon character you should try and make him true to the books. Allison is an interesting character to read. The other characters were done better in this chapter.

The plot is picking up now! It’s interesting so far, and it’s not as cliche as it could easily be. However, I’m finding it hard to swallow the fact that Draco Malfoy would immediately kiss Allison on the hand, especially after he finds out who she’s related to. It just doesn’t fit in with his character, and his prejudice towards Harry.

Again, try and add some more description. It really makes a story come to life when it has well-written description, and it gives a good idea of the setting.

The dialogue was still believable for the most part. As I mentioned before, I still don’t totally believe the romance between Allison and Draco.

So, this chapter was fine, but try and work on the things I pointed out.

Author's Response: Yeah that makes sense. Thanks.

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