Oh Harry...*grabs-shakes-chucks water-slaps face*
After all this bloody time you still need it spelled out for you? Really.
*groans* I am a broken morsel of sadness. My feels after reading this. *sighs* Beautifully written melancholy in my soul. Report Review
this was well, intense. i liked it. if possible make it into a short story with a happy ending for H/Hr!!
ADAuthor's Response: Thank you! I will not, however, be making a happy ending. I wrote this ending for a reason, and I remain satisfied with my choice. =) Report Review
Who ever said this would make a good multi-chapter was right. or at least a wonderful two-shot.Author's Response: Thank you! Maybe one day. =) Report Review
Erg, I've been trying to review this story for about six months. It seems like every time I try submit a review, HPFF decides to hate me or I don't have time or I just can't remember what I'd been wanting to say...
I really like this story. It makes me sad and angry, but I guess that's the definition of angst, right?
MERLINS PANTS; I wish the both of them would get a freaking clue. Hermione, may she rot in Azkaban, needs to let go of her pride for a few choice seconds and let loose the verbal diarrhea that will change her life for eternity. Harry, who may suffer the same fate for all I care, needs to open his eyes and pay attention to his "best mate," for the sake of all that is magical and... er... delicious!
Of course, I'm talking about the characters and not your story. The way you have written it is perfect and I wouldn't dare ask you to change it. That's like trying to petition JKR to re-write the books in favor of the HHR fandom. It's entirely your creation and while we may have the right to spin off of it if we wish, we can't ask you to do something like that.
That would be sort of like going up to the mother of a brown-eyed child and saying, "Excuse me, ma'am; we all love your child to death, but we would really prefer he have blue eyes instead of brown. Would you mind hacking his eyes out and replacing them with these blue marbles? They're really pretty."
NO! You can name your child after hers, and hope they have blue eyes and grow up to be similar, but you don't try to force someone to change what they love.
Sorry about my little tangent, I just felt like it was something that needed to be said. While I would love a continuation, I know what it's like to be forced to do something like that. (I wrote an original story with an open-ending and my mother FORCED me to write more so that she knew what the hell was going on. I was so pissed!!)
So, I say brava for a job well done. I love lonely girl stories. ;)
Erg, and if you reply, please remind me to review The List and I'm Not Neurotic!, because I've read those and been avoiding reviewing them, too. ;P Report Review
OMG! I LOVE IT!
Ok, normally I hate things written in the present tense, but that was absolutely fan-tas-tic! In fact, I swear you're the only person I know who can make a story written in the present tense interesting at all.
I love your writing so much, but i'm still out of superlatives. :P
Amazing job!Author's Response: Thank you! To be perfectly honest, I\\\'m usually not all that fond of the present tense, but for some reason I just felt this story called for it. I\\\'m glad you liked it!
Thanks very much for reviewing (and the superlatives lol). :-) Report Review
Such a sad one. Excellently written as ever, but very sad. Poor Hermione, pouring her soul to him and he just sits there like he is Ron or something. Complete git. Somebody slap some sense into him please.Author's Response: Of all my fics I\\\'ve written, this one is actually my favorite, so the fact that you like it so much really means a lot. And it isn\\\'t that Harry\\\'s acting like Ron...he\\\'s just a young man who still doesn\\\'t understand the finer nuances of the English language. Clearly his range of emotion is more than a tablespoon - he is there for her, comforts her, and does everything in his power to make her feel better. He\\\'s just so wrapped up in taking care of her that he can\\\'t recognize the truth behind her words. Hopefully that cleared some of it up for you (as well as cleared poor Harry\\\'s name lol).
Thanks very much for reviewing! :-) Report Review
this is an amazing piece!!! I like how you made it so realistic and it does not go for a happy ending like most fics do.
i have also read some of your fics and i absolutely love them. You are one of those authors who made me want to sign up for HPFF. Just to keep track on the updates of stories i love reading! once again, fantastic job on the fic! 10/10Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much! It means a lot that you appreciate the un-happy ending. A lot of people just want happy, and that's just not life, you know?
Thanks so much for your kind words! It means so much that you like my work so much. Thank you so, so, so much! :-) Report Review
Another review for ya. Actually I don usually get tym to review so whenever I get tym I make sure that I do as many as possible.
This piece of urs is great as the others. But why its just a One-shot, I would love to know what happens next. I am not asking you to make a 'happily ever-after romcom' but I would definetly like to know what happens next. I wanna know that if my thinking is matching wid urs or not.Author's Response: Aw, thank you! I really appreciate all of the reviewing you've done, especially as you don't have a lot of time to do so.
It's a one-shot because I feel that all stories don't have a happy ending - this one included. If you want to, you could stretch your mind and pretend that "Smile Like You Mean It" is a sequel, but again, that's a stretch...lol.
In terms of what happens next...who knows. It's life. They could go on forever with Hermione never revealing her true feelings and Harry never recognizing his, or one day everything just might click. There's no way to know, and that's kind of how I want to keep it.
Thanks very much for reviewing! :-) Report Review
it's sad,but great the way he is there for her.Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :-) Report Review
You must expand this! You can't leave us with that cliff hanger! It's so... so... MEAN!! Please, for the love of fanfiction EXPAND!! 10/10 though!Author's Response: I'm so sorry, but there won't be a sequel. It's not that I wish to leave everyone hanging, it's just that the story has ended. This is what I wanted to write, and it ended on exactly the right note. The fact that it's evoked such painful reactions from readers means I succeeded. It's SUPPOSED to be painful. It's unrequited love. My sincerest apologies, however, as I know how frustrating reading a fic like this can be.
Thank you very much for reviewing! :-) Report Review
I loved it! I loved the great mixture of Harry who always wants to help and do the right thing, with the Harry who doesn't really have a clue as to what is going on lol.
Ron was typically Ron, his entrance was great timing as is true to his character lol.
Fantastice one shot. Good job!!Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so pleased that you like it. And Ron's always difficult for me to write, so I'm relieved that you think he was in character.
Thanks very much for reviewing! :-) Report Review
This is one of the few realistic fics I've read in the past few months since it doesn't go for a happy ending like most fics end as.
I've also read many of your other stories and enjoy them well. Please keep writing your wonderful stories.Author's Response: Thank you so, so much! Your comments mean so much to me. I'm so happy that you've enjoyed my fics! Thanks for reviewing. :-) Report Review
Amazing. Oh, wait for it, I'm crying! :) Nice one! :D
You manage to do that with every story - whether from laughing, or from happiness or sadness. I love it, but I think that if Harry found out that it were him that was hurting her, he may never forgive himself, that is, until he finds out he loves her too.
Oh, and as for expanding it - it's seriously up to you. If you were to make it a short story, I think this should remain the last chapter and you should write chapters before, expanding Jonathon's character. But seriously, it's up to you!
:DAuthor's Response: Aw, thank you! I'm sorry for making you cry, though I'm glad you enjoyed it. And yes, he wouldn't - Harry has quite a guilty conscience, doesn't he? And a desire to fix anything, and unless he realizes his own feelings, he can't fix this.
I think that if I were to make it a short story, I'd do exactly as you said, or connect it, somehow, to Smile Like You Mean It.
Thanks very much for reviewing, as always! And sorry for my late reply. :-) Report Review
Oh my God this was trully AMAZING!!! I loved the ending! It was brilliant! I agree you should make this a short story or novel, but I do not wish to force you. Brilliant job on this story.Author's Response: Aw, thank you! And LOL. I really don't think I'll be making it into a longer story, but I'll keep what you said in mind. Thanks for reviewing! :-) Report Review
What a brilliant story, Hermione_Crookshanks! I think that you should personally keep it as a one-shot, as second chapters rarely live up to the first, and you might disappoint people about that ending too. I like the way you've highlighted their personalities- Harry as clueless, but maybe he does suspect a little..
I think he does think it's him, but he's got low self-esteem and doesn't think that she would love him.
Haha, that last sentence that I wrote was hard to understand. :P
Keep it up!Author's Response: Aw, thank you!! And yay, I feel the same way. Glad someone else agrees (makes me feel better about my decision).
Thanks so much for reviewing! :-) Report Review
Okay, i'm positively mad. I just can't understand how the story can just end like this! Please, please tell me you're seriously considering making this a short story, please, please, please!
This is really, really great, everything about it is just... really great. I would love to write more on this review, but honestly there's nothing more i comment other than how great this story is (please forgive my sudden lack of imagination).
Please have some compassion for this poor reader, and i'm sure many other poor readers just like this me, and write more... even if it takes you moths, i don't mind waiting! Just as long as i know that there will be subsequent chapters. After all, if the story ends up like this we'll have stay with the image of a moron, really, really stupid Harry and heartbroken Hermione ingraved in our memories... how sad is that?
Anway, i loved it. 10/10, it's tthe only possible rating. This is so going to my favorites!Author's Response: Aw, I'm sorry! But it is an angst piece, so as sad as I am that the end bothers you so, it's also a relief, as that's what I was trying to accomplish. I've come to the decision that I'm not going to expand on this story, as I feel that it would only ruin it. I might some day (minds always change), but for now I'm sticking by my decision.
And Harry isn't a moron - he's just not clued in. I think it would be rather out of character for Harry to realize it was him - he'd also have to be a bit arrogant, which, when it comes to love, he really isn't (at least not from what we've seen). And Hermione's supposed to be heartbroken...it is angst, after all. And Harry's heartbroken as well, though he doesn't understand why. And that's kind of what I was aiming for, I guess.
I'm glad you still enjoyed it. Sorry I won't be able to fulfill your request, but know that I have my reasons not to (it's not just because I'm lazy or want to torture you, believe me).
Thanks for reviewing! :-) Report Review
Oooh. Lovely. Really very good.Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much!! :-) Report Review
I am so embarrassed. Look at this line from my review (which I usually spend time going over to make sure my grammar and spelling are correct). "It's like something you feel like is obligatory..." I am like speaking like a teenage fangirl and like it's like so embarrassing like I could like totally die! (Well, that might be over-doing it and plus that language was probably going out of style about 12 years ago or more.) Anyway, I just like to see my name up here so it is mostly vanity that I am writing all this junk in the first place. I will use any excuse to pontificate.Author's Response: LOL. No, believe me, like is still used in every other word among teenagers. I'm pretty sure that it's replace "um" lol. So don't worry!
Sorry for not responding to your other review. I'll do it as soon as I can, but it may be a few weeks. Right now I'm in a play, and we're in tech rehearsal, which means insane hours. Rehearsal goes until nine during the weekdays, 12-8 on Saturday, and 12-6 on Sunday...and SOMEHOW I have to find time to do all of my homework, finish applications for summer programs, and study for tests. @_@ I think I may be dying on the inside. LOL. But I WILL get to your review. I promise.
Thanks for reviewing!! :-) Report Review
Holy cow that was some good angst! This genre is hard for most people because they over do the emotions or the dialogue is melodramatic or sometimes both. Sometimes people are just hysterical all the time or crying all the time or throwing things or screaming at each other. Your story has none of those. You do have strong emotions but they seem pretty darn realistic to me.
The fact that Harry knows Hermione better and can read her better than anyone else is, of course, exactly right. He notices every detail and every emotion that flickers across her face or is hidden in her voice. He was doing that at Hogwarts so by now nothing about her would escape his notice. You do such a good job with Ron. The little paragraph that he makes an appearance in is sublime. In and out in a few sentences but you capture his nature better than some stories where he is the main character.
"laughing in that way of hers that breaks Harry's heart everytime"- This is a powerful paragraph. We start to see just how much Harry cares for this woman and pays attention like no one else in her life. "Because "I'm sorry,"as she explained the first time Harry made this mistake, fixes nothing."
Ok. That is very cool and very scary at the same time. Because I always feel guilty and useless when I tell someone "I'm sorry." It's like something you feel like is obligatory but at the same time you can hear the words drop to the floor with a thud for all the good they do. In other words, I have the exact same feelings about saying those two words as Hermione does. You are really tapping into some real life feelings here!
It is interesting that this has happened enough times that the two of them have a little ritual they do when it is over. I am glad you showed us those little details. It really makes the story that much richer. "If you want to talk to me, I'll listen."- Now those are much more effective words to tell someone.
"but I could never make myself love them"- Hermione says a lot in this little section. It creates a nice little conflict. Hermione is trying to talk to the one person in her life that will listen and support and encourage and stand by her no matter what, but at the same time she can't tell him. If she couldn't tell him the first time, it probably is not easier now. But something has changed this time, hasn't it? Maybe she realized who it was that she wants. Or maybe she has known all along and she just can't take it anymore. Thus the breakdown at the sink. This little story is really making me think. Which is, for me, the absolute best stories- the ones that I ponder over long after I read them.
"I love him." Her voice breaks. But she won't tell Harry who it is. As much as it hurts I get the sense that Hermione is comfortable with their respective parts in this play. Yes it has entered a new phase but it will be a very long time until Hermione can be honest with Harry seeing as many men she has tried to find love with.
Now for the subject of a sequel. Bearing in mind the type of story and the feeling I get from the characters I say keep it as a one-shot. You might consider another story in the same universe but I like how this one ends. That last line is what made the decision for me even though I was leaning in that direction anyway. That is my very much uninformed opinion, anyway. I can't tell you how much joy it gives me to see you continuing to increase in skill as a writer by tackling a dramatic story like this. Your ability to create nuanced variations on these characters is really nice to read.Author's Response: I am so sorry! Junior year has just been so incredibly hectic, and I haven’t had the time to sit down and write a response. I’m truly sorry! Now, on to my reply: Thank you! Angst is always the genre about which I feel most awkward, so it’s great that someone enjoyed the fic.
I’m glad you think I captured Ron, as he’s one of the most difficult characters to write (besides Ginny-Sue, but I stay away from her and pretend she never existed - I find it’s better for my health).
I imagined that Hermione’s love life, pre-Harry, is unsuccessful. She unconsciously sabotages the relationships, and because Harry’s a bit blinded by his own emotions, he always blames the males. I can’t see Ron doing too well with a depressed Hermione, but I imagine that Harry, despite his tendency not to understand emotions, would attempt to comfort Hermione. After a few times it would become natural and then a ritual. This story actually stemmed from 1) the first line, which randomly popped into my head, and 2) Hermione cupping a hot mug of tea. Actually, in The List, Harry and Hermione were originally going to have a late night conversation on Christmas Eve, following a hectic day of babysitting the cousins. Harry would find Hermione curled up on the couch, clutching a hot mug of tea. They would discuss her favorite movies, and Hermione would mention, “When Harry Met Sally,” describing the New Year’s kiss scene. This would influence Harry’s attempted kiss. I decided to axe this scene and bring in the cousins later, but I still had the image of Hermione and that tea stuck in my brain. Funny how a scene from a romantic comedy became the basis of an angst fic.
While I’ve never been in love, I have felt strongly about a close friend, who often acted as my confidante, and I found it really difficult to explain why I never dated guys I had crushes on without revealing that I liked him. So I based Hermione’s situation a bit on my own, only her feelings are much stronger and the situation is more tragic (if you can consider it tragic, which I suppose you can). And something has changed. She’s deluded herself for some years now, convincing herself that she doesn’t need Harry to be happy. Now reality’s crashing down.
Hermione isn’t comfortable, but she’d rather keep quiet than risk their friendship – the idea of losing him is probably unbearable, and Hermione’s never been one to take chances.
Yay! That’s how I feel, but for some reason your opinion cemented the one-shot matter. Life isn’t always about happy endings. Everyone’s yelling for them to get together, but that’s not how the world works.
Thank you so much for another review! It means the world to me, and I’m honored you think I’ve grown as a writer. I don’t know when I’ll write another Harry Potter fanfic (I’m currently turning The List into an original story, which is taking a while), but I hope it will be soon.
Thanks for everything, and for waiting so long for a reply! :-) Report Review
Please tell me there is another one-shot that will be a sequel to this one? PLEASE! I just want him to find out!Author's Response: I'm still deciding on the outcome of this story. Please be patient! It's a difficult decision. Sorry for making you all wait...
Thanks for reviewing! :-) Report Review
wow your stories never fail to amaze me.i love them.i wish i could write like that i was working on a story but i got a writers block i dont know what to write next.can you help?Author's Response: Aw, thank you! I really appreciate it. And sure, I'd love to help, though I don't know how much I'll be able to (I'm always bad at overcoming writer's block). Just PM me on the forums (I have the same username) and I'll see what I can do.
Thanks for reviewing! :-) Report Review
Yeah, a sequel or continuation would be so cool! I love this story!Author's Response: LOL. We'll see. Thanks for reviewing! Glad you enjoyed it. :-) Report Review
aww...i luv this story!!! is there going 2 b another??Author's Response: Thank you! I'm still not sure, but I'm considering it. Thanks for reviewing. :-) Report Review
Ahhh, this story is so good! I would really love for you to continue this piece, I want Harry to realize that the bloke is indeed him, but then it would take away from this chapter in all it's amazingness... (Not all stories have the perfect ending, even though we want them to.)
All in all, it was really good, the writing style is fantastic. I really enjoy your work! (Huge H/Hr fan, which gives this story an even bigger plus!) I'm indecisive with what you do with the story, keeping it the way it is or adding more, either way I did/will enjoy it.Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much! I'm glad you see why I might not want to continue...I'm still deciding. Maybe I'd make it a separate story so those who don't want to change the angst wouldn't have to? Eh. I don't know. First I have to decide if I'm even going to write a second part! LOL
Thanks so much for reviewing. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :-) Report Review
Love it love it! I love the ending, heck I love everything about it! You have such a lovely writing style. All of your stories are brilliantly written! I look foward to reading more of your works!!! Keep up the awesome work! :)Author's Response: Thank you so, so much! I'm really glad you enjoyed it, especially the ending. Thanks very much for reviewing. :-) Report Review
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