Hey there! :) I'm in with your review :D
First of all: I'm a sucker for descriptions, adjectives and metaphors, so everything embodying this is thumbs up from me. And since yours is in abundance, there are two big thumbs up for you :D
My favorite line: "Leaving her alone in a dark room to watch herself waste away as slowly and painfully as the paint peeling from the bare walls that surrounded her." Amazing, touching and very real. Great job!
The only thing I really can think about is that the road from Narcissa's Manor to Rodolphus' home is dragging on a bit, so you might want to trim that part down a few paragraphs.
And I do not know if I approve of the nickname "Dolphus" :P Haha!
Yeah, personally I'm not really into Narcissa and the rest of the senior death eaters, so if I had seen this story randomly at HPFF I wouldn't have clicked on it.
But this wasn't bad at all!!! Your flow of words is really good, and I like your writing style. I like the way you describe the emotions.
Keep up the good work!!Author's Response: Thanks for the review!
I love that you are one for the whole descriptive metaphors and all - it puts us in the same boat.
As you said, that kind of is my style, and I am quite proud of it.
I love that you commented on the paint line. That is one that I had somewhat forgotten, but really kind of sums up a lot of things. Thinking about it, it is also one that I considered taking out altogether out of fear that it would be too much over the top, but I am glad that you like it.
And yes, I am a sucker for messed up nicknames... Don't worry, I'm getting better!
I am also very glad that I got you to read something that you wouldn't normally have considered, and especially glad that you did like it.
Thanks again! Report Review
This story has a lot of things that I like. It has an uncommon ship so it makes it original which I believe is essential to a good fic. The descriptions of Narcissa's deepest feelings at the beginning are very good and revealing about the battle that is going on inside her head and heart. This was a very interesting read and something that I believe I will remember for a long time. Good job!Author's Response: Yay! That means a lot to me.
I love to think that my fics are somewhat a cut above the average, and if somebody remembers one of them when thinking of unique and interesting stories... so much the better.
I absolutley love uncommon ships (that aren't to unrealistic), and I try my best to get more origonal stuff out there.
Thanks for reading and reviewing! Report Review
interestringAuthor's Response: Thank you.
I suppose it would be asking quite a bit to see what you actually thought about it... but never mind that.
Thank you for reading it, at least. Report Review
That was amazing... Really really good
TessAuthor's Response: Thank you very much - I am glad that you liked it! Report Review
This isn't a commonly written ship, but the way you've written it is absolutely amazing. I was completely expect Cissa and Rodolphus to end up together... and the ending was just so heart-wrenching and brilliant... 10/10Author's Response: Thank you very much...
I like it when I can manage towrite a story that can somewhat surprise people with the ending. I'm glad you liked it so much! Report Review
Hello there! I've come to leave my promised review. :)
This is quite unlike anything I've ever read before. I like the twist you've put on Narcissa and her life at the Malfoy Manor. I've always kind of assumed that she wasn't loved and valued (though recently I've kind of changed my mind a little bit), and so this story was interesting to read.
I like the pairing of Narcissa and Rudolphus. I've never read a story with that coupling. Even though I know Bellatrix was married, it always surprises me. Every time, lol!
I liked your ending. The only thing I would suggest as far as this story goes is that you cut down on your use of ... s. It took away from the story because you used them SO much. Other than that, I didn't see anything that you should change.
Overall lovely story. :)
8/10Author's Response: Thank you for coming by to review.
I am glad that it was quite differeant from other stories, for I know how toresome it can get to read the same story over and over again.
I chose to put Narcissa and Rodolphus together because it was a pairing that was very rare, and because of the fact that Rodolphus was married to her sister, it would provide a lot of interesting conflict.
And yes, I realilze that I do use '...' way to often. I think I have some sort of addiction. I don't know why, but I can hardly write a paragraph without using them. I'll do my best to cut down on it in the future, and hopefully I'll be able to fix that problem.
Again, thanks for the review. Report Review
Oh, that was so sad! I thought that was very incredibly written as well because they all seemed to be in character. I also loved the fact that there was too much conflict within the story and that these two characters appeared to be in a state of conundrum, confused and not really knowing what to do... It was very realistic, given their situation. :)Author's Response: Thank you, I am glad that you felt it was so realistic and that they were not out of character.
Conundrum... good word.
Thanks for the review! Report Review
gah. I loved ittt. it was wonderful. and you wrote this pre-dh when I was at your house. Ican't believe it. gah.Author's Response: Yay! I've been waiting for you to ead it... And I love your use of the word "gah." Which, I am fairly certain, is not a word. And about those commas... Report Review
Okay well I think that you wrote the characters way out of Canon I mean Narcissa loves Lucius not her sisters husband. I just think that you were out of this world when you wrote this. I mean you made Bella nice if you reread the 6th book you will see that she is a devil filled with hate and loyalty to the dark lord. This fic needs work. Author's Response: Thank you for taking time to review, and to a certain point I can say that I can actually agree with you. But I don't think it was quite as bad as you say...
What you have to keep in mind is that this all happened years and years ago (back in the first battle). We already know very little about Narcissa, but I believe that it is very possible for her to be as I presented her in this fic, and to have changed over the years.
It very rarely says in the books that Narcissa and Lucius have always (or ever) had a passionate and loving relationship. They are close in DH, brought together by fear for their dear son, but we have no idea how their relationship started out. I do not believe that Lucius is at all a pleasant man to have as a husband, and could be close to unbearable at times. For a young girl (she was only just out of school when she married him) it would be extremely difficult to get through life with him as a husband, especcially when there is somebody else who once loved her so dearly.
True, Narcissa/Rodolphus never happened in the books, and I am not saying that it did. I hve always loved small, improbable (and yet possible) parings, and I tyhink that this one fitted wrather well. I am not trying to go by the history that was presented to us in the books, but more fill in the lengthy gaps.
And I am not sure what you are saying about Bella. I don't believe that I made her "nice." She is Narcissa's sister, and so she sees something in her that nobody else can ever see, but throughout the story Narcissa is angry and jealous towards her sister, and full of resentful thoughts. Bella stole Rodolphus from Narcissa, and then drove him to become a Death Eater... I don't find many things that she did to be "nice" at all (although she is one of my favorite characters). Report Review
Tiffany here to review!
I really did love this story, the personification of Narcissa was perfect to the tete.
The affair between Narcissa and Rudolphus was something I'd never even expect, which was a great turning point in this. You characterized him well.
I did see a couple grammar errors, but none that would really get in the way of the story, so I think you've done a great job. :)Author's Response: Thank you for a great review.
I was afraid that Narcissa was a bit to out of character in this fic, but as she was much younger, I suppose I was pretty free to let her be however I wanted, and I'm glad it worked out.
Before writing this story I would never have thought of a Narcissa/Rodolphus pairing either, but I am quite drawn to it now. I really love those kinds of pairings, and am deveolping a certain fondness for Cissa.
I'll keep trying to keep an eye out for my grammer though, thanks! Report Review
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