Loved this chapter, and the story in general! Update soon! Report Review
I have read this story from start to finish over the past couple days and have loved every minute of it! Amazing character development that made me truly appreciate and love the characters that you have created and built upon. I really do hope that you are able to post the epilogue soon! Report Review
oh please post the epilogue! Report Review
Ohmygod, I can't believe Amy's dead. I wasn't expecting that, ever. Even at the start of this chapter, when she was conscious for a bit, I thought, Sirius is going to find her. And he did, but she's deaaad! Their relationship didn't even get to develop fully yet, they don't even know each others feelings, it can't just end here! I hope you update with the epilogue soon, so at least all the ends will be tied up, I want to finish it, as much as I hate that Amy's dead :( Report Review
Fantastic, amazing. I can't wait for the epilogue! :) Report Review
I actually liked the "ice princess" you should keep her :) Report Review
Please update soon! Only one more chapter to go!! Report Review
I hope you update soon! Report Review
PLEASE UPDATE! I cannot wait for the epilogue! Report Review
Please update soon!!! Report Review
I know I didn't write reviews in the beginning, but I've followed your story since you first wrote it. Thank you so much for seeing it through to the end. can't wait for the last chapter!Author's Response: I'm so glad you've stuck through with the story this long and enjoyed it. Hopefully the last chapter won't disappoint! :) x Report Review
Ohmygoodness! I am literally on the edge of my seat. My heart is breaking for Sirius!!!
Can't wait for the epilogue. You're so talented, and I've enjoyed reading this story since you first posted it! :) xoxAuthor's Response: Hello WitchyCloudpine, nice to see you again! Thanks so much for your lovely comment, and for enjoying the story all the way through. Much love to you. xx Report Review
YES. Thank you. I have been begging of the last chapter. Please please please post the epilogue soon. This has been such an amazing journey for the past couple years.Author's Response: Thank-you Kayla for sticking by Diamond. this long, and for your constant reviews. Appreciate it so much. I have exams til the end of the month, but I will try to post the epilogue as soon as possible after they're done.
xxx Report Review
I'm French so for your eyes I'm not going to write a lot. ^^'
I really like your fanfiction, I'm just at the first chapter but I'll read all your story during my holidays.
Ah, yes your French is really good but they're some errors:
Tu sais qu’on l’interdit de les gens de sangs purs se frappent
-> Tu sais qu'on interdit aux sangs purs de se frapper
-> Tu sais que c'est interdit que les gens de sangs purs se frappent
It's kinda the same
Je suis très déçu dans toi
-> Je suis très déçue de toi
I understand your sentences but it's better with those bellow
Great Job and see you next chapter.
Bien joué, j'aime beaucoup ton histoire et je suis impatiente de découvrir la suite, j'aime également ton style d'écriture ( ah ah désolée je ne sais pas le dire en anglais )
Valentine, XoXoAuthor's Response: Merci beaucoup, Valentine! Je suis ravie de recevoir un 'reviewÃ‚Â™' francais ! Je me sens comme un vrai ecrivain internationalement connu ! Haha.
Merci pour les corrections linguistiques - il y a plus de 5 ans que j'ai ecrit le premier chapitre, et je sais qu'Ã‚Â™il y en a des erreurs terribles francaises.
Encore une fois, je te remercie pour tes commentaires aimables, et j'Ã‚Â™espere que trouves la suite aussi interessant que ce chapitre-ci.
Hello there! So here I am, after days of being such a slack, I am so sorry about that.
This is one of the most fantastic chapters I have ever read, I know out of 90+ reviews many people would've told you that, but its just too wonderful.
I loved the way you gave us a lot of background information about Amelie and her parents. At the start I thought she was a rich muggle, but then things did seem a bit off so I just registered that she was a pureblood.
Amelie's mother is a nasty woman, so is the rest of the family. No one even came up to her and comforted her, she had to comfort herself! What kind of family lets an eight-year-old do that? I think of her as the kind of mother Bellatrix would be, just on another higher level.
I'm very intrigue on how Amelie's dad became a blood traitor and what he did, though I wasn't surprised. The way Amelie described him...I kinda had doubts that he was going to be a nasty pureblood.
Anywho, I don't think you should worry too much about the chapter. The story is nicely written, the chapter is well-done and I loved every single bit of it! 10/10
CloakAuror9 xxAuthor's Response: Hello! Nice to have you round :) Haha.
I am so glad you enjoy it! Yes it does seem that my first chapter has been very well-loved. I'm glad that you enjoyed it too as well, and have joined the glorious hate fest we have against Amelie's Mum. It's more my later chapters that I'm worried about, because the story has been written in stops and starts and my final chapters have very few reviews. I understand the story is long and probably will tire you before you get to the end, but feel free to read on and let me know what you think of the last few chapters as well. Would love to hear from you :)
This was a very well done chapter!
I was thrilled to see Amelie or Amy growing up and seeing her placed in Gryffindor! =)
I really liked seeing all of the characters being introduced and getting to see each of their individual personalities come to life. I loved seeing how she interacted betweeen her friends.
I really enjoyed the choice of words that you used in and throughout the chapter...encumbered. It's such an under used word that I thought it was great to see it and others pop up throughout. You're wonderful at describing scenes in a subtle way that doesn't overwhelm what it is that you are trying to describe.
You do a great job bring Amelie's emotions to life especially when Sirius is around. I think you did a great job showing all of their mannerisms and quirks.
The flow and pace of this chapter was well done and smooth. It was a super long chapter, but I thought that you used the length of this to get the points you wanted to make come to life clearly rather than if you would have split it up.
Overall, you are a brilliant writer and you have done such a great job bringing your characters to life in a way that makes me see how much you actually love your OC and writing the characters you are wrting about. You have a great way describing your scenes and bring the emotions of all of these wonderful characters to life. The flow and pace is well balanced and I loved that you used words that I don't normally see in stories. I love that because it gives it its own feel to it.
Brilliant job! Keep it up!! =)
-SR17Author's Response: Thank you!
Yes, finally Amelie is grown up (somewhat - though not quite)!
I try to add words that are a bit more precise than the usual every day ones. Sometimes the words we use aren't really enough to explain a feeling properly, you know?
I really do love my characters, even now after so many years. I love that you are enjoying them too :) Looking forward to see how you react to the rest of the story!
Thanks again for taking time to review in so much detail!
x Report Review
Well I must say that I really liked this chapter.
I enjoyed reading about little Amelie. I thought she was a great character and I can't wait to see how she grows into her older character from here on out. I loved all of the emotion you brought through in this chapter with her. She is a force to be reckoned with and I love how she is trying to change from being the ice queen to the person she really wants to be. I really love how witty she is!
I also liked how you introduced the Marauders...they are quite the handful of a bunch. You did a great job with it and I found it totally believable that they would do something like that. It is almost like they thrive on it. I am glad that she is friends with Lily. I also liked how you included the difference in wording like muggle and Lily asking who? =)
I thought that the flow and pace of the chapter were both smooth and well balanced together. I didn't get the impression that I was being rushed through it at all. I thought you did a wonderful job with description. I didn't see anything else that jumped out typo wise or weirdly worded sentence wise.
Overall, I thought you did a wonderful job holding my attention and I am excited to see what else happens as the story continues and I am excited to see what house Amelie gets sorted into!
Keep up the great work! =)
-SR17Author's Response: Hey!
Once again, thank you for the amazing review! Amelie and her story took up a large part of my mid-late teens so it's always amazing to find people who are still so appreciative of the effort that went into her.
Of course, the Marauders had to be introduced with a bang ;)
Thanks again for taking the time to give your opinions on all the different sections of the story so far. Means so much!
x Report Review
I am here with your next review!
The two cousins kind of remind me of the step sisters in Cinderella. I loved how you portrayed them and showed the haughty demeanor of the Pureblood status. I think you did a wonderful job bringing it out and showing Amelie's dislike towards it.
I liked how you described the perfect person she had become in order to hide herself away from the awful feelings she harbored. I loved it when you put in Amelie's thoughts, especially with Walburga's name. =)
I also liked how she shocked Sirius by giving him a swift punch. He reminded me of the Cheshire cat sitting in the tree and watching the scene unfold beneath him. You brough out his astute side very well when he tells her exactly what she's been doing.
I did see a couple of confusing sentences because of a few typos, but nothing that was major to take away from the chapter itself. I also had a hard time understanding the French, but I thought it was beautiful to include it. It's a lovely language.
Overall, I thought you did an amazing job. I was happy to see what and how Amelie did and felt. I loved the interactions between her and the Black's. I love the plot that you have created and I am exicted to read more.
Keep up the great work! =)
-SR17Author's Response: Hello again!
Yeah, I'm not going to lie, they did inspire me a bit during writing. They're such good stock characters.
Sirius, in my mind, has always been too clever for his own good. Any misdemeanours of his are just a result of thrill-seeking. I really wanted to establish this relationship of anger and insight right from the beginning, almost to make the ensuing drama inevitable.
i.e. punching him in front of all those purebloods. Disgraceful.
Haha, it's so funny; I wrote all of this so long ago, you're reminding me of my own story. Walburga :')
Again, I'll try and look for those typos soon to tidy up the writing. Thank you for sharing your opinions, it's very helpful to know what readers think.
I hope you enjoyed reading and me asking you to review again won't be too much of a chore!
x Report Review
I am finally here with your review. Sorry for it taking this long. I am usually faster so my apologies for that.
First of all I want to say that you have done a wonderful job capturing my attention with this first chapter. I really enjoyed reading it and enjoyed the characters. I really thought you did a wonderful job making Amelie stand out with her feelings towards her dad. Those connections are something that readers can relate to because they are exsistant all the time. I also enjoyed how you made me feel towards her mother. At first I thought, 'Oh, is she going to be like Narcissa?' but you have gone above and beyond that and made her truly vile. I like having a character that I can love to hate.
I am interested to know what he did to become a blood traitor. I am also interested in this clever little Amelie and what she is going to do. I love the mysterious feel that this chapter has.
I did notice some typos and confusing sentences that could be spruced up to make it work a bit better. I was also a little confused at who Sasha was. Is it her teddy bear or another doll that she had?
Overall, I loved this first chapter. I really enjoyed all the emotion and tense situation between her parents. I think everyone can relate to seeing their parents argue and know how unpleasant that is to see and hear it going on. I thought you did a wonderful job describing all of the emotions and lack there of for her mom in the chapter as well.
Keep up the great work! =)
-SR17Author's Response: Why hello! :) It's not a problem, I know reviewing can be a long job, and obviously what with life and everything, sometimes it's difficult to be efficient.
Her mother's a serious piece of work. If you love to hate her, you're going to get the opportunity to hate her loads in this story. I'm glad I managed to get all those various elements through :)
Her father's story is hinted at at various points. It's not a major part of the plot but it definitely has a role to play.
I'll try look for those typos. Thanks for bringing that to my attention. Yes, Sasha was her doll at the beginning.
And thank you for the review! I hope you enjoy the rest of the story just as much :)
x Report Review
My heart is literally breaking for Sirius right now :'( I was close to tears reading the last 2 chapters. You write beautifully by the way and I loved the whole story; can't wait for the epilogue now :) xAuthor's Response: :( I know, I feel bad for what I'm putting him through - as if he didn't have enough on his plate already. Thank you so much though for your lovely comments and kind words. They mean a lot, and I'm glad that you enjoyed the story :) x Report Review
Omg no way you killed her !!! :'(( amazing chapterAuthor's Response: It had to be done :( Thanks for the review. x Report Review
OH. MY. GOD. This story is amazing! She can't be dead! Please, she has to be alive! Even if she's insane, don't let her be dead!! I love this story, you're such an amazing writer! Please, please, please update again soon, I HAVE to see what happens now. 10/10!Author's Response: Thank-you so much for taking the time to write a review, and for your kind words! :)
She really is dead now, though. Nothing can bring her back. :( Very sad times.
The story should be wrapped up within the next month or two (I have exams coming up so writing time will be very few and far between). Only the epilogue left!
PLEASE give us the ending! :) It's killing me to wait!Author's Response: Not too much longer now, I should think. Thanks for reviewing. x Report Review
Please don't keep the final chapter hostage any longer!!!Author's Response: It's still being written, believe it or not! Getting quite a bit into it though, so hopefully by mid-late summer this should all be done and dusted. Thanks so much for leaving a review! x Report Review
SO GLAD you have not deleted this. It would have been torture if you did. I've been dying to know the end of this story! Please post soon. It's been months since you posted this and I can't wait for the end!Author's Response: I'm almost finished with chapter 25. Which in my world means that it should be up by the end of the summer. I'm terrible, aren't I? Thank you so much for staying with the story for so long. x Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection