Hello! I absolutely loved this :) I think that, in an alternate version of Deathly Hallows, this is exactly like what it would be like, or something really close. The characterizations were just so spot on! I loved the way Hermione melted into Ron, and the way they fell asleep together. Although I wish he'd said I love you, I guess we can't have everything in life, and besides, this is probably more realistic. I think Neville was the most spot on, the bit about the candy wrappers was just so depressing and perfect for what he might be thinking. I can't imagine how these characters would have felt going to sleep at night and knowing that they were going to be going into battle in a few hours' time... I wouldn't be able to do it, and I suspect they'd all go mad. Favorite line? “I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’ll have you know that I will die before I let anyone near you on that battle field.” SQUEAAALSSS! Yay :) Second favorite line: You promised you wouldn’t leave me, Ron.” Hermione said timidly, “So don’t.” The whole paragraph after that was just awesome. God, I'm such a Romione freak :D Thanks for writing! ~writergirl8 Report Review
Cool story, its realli sweet. Plz read & review mine, its not gettin much attention! xxxAuthor's Response: Thank you very much, I shall get to it when I have a bit more time! =) Report Review
That was great! You wrote Hermione perfectly, that's how she would react to everything around her; be strong for as long as she can, and then just crumble. The Spwatlers definition made me laugh as well. Great fic.Author's Response: Thanks a tonne! I'm glad you enjoyed my Spwatlers. hehe, sometimes I myself am like Luna. Hehe. Report Review
'The students that were in this castle were in groups.' The were is repetitive. 'Ron was there not a moment later, he gathered the smaller girl into his arms. â€śHermione.â€ť Is Ron a girl too? Just joking, but when you put the smaller it makes it seem as if Ron is a girl too! 'Ron canâ€™t remember what time they fell asleep that night. And Hermione doesnâ€™t know if she had ever stopped shaking. Not from being cold, mind you.' This is a nicely worded exerpt but there is a need for a tense change.Besides those very minor errors I found your one shot to be particularly nice and sweet to read. I thought it might continue on to the battle because you said it was a 'last battle tale'. Maybe something like 'Before Lightening Strikes'? No, that really is a horrid title. Now, where was I?
Rightt... your story. ;) Okay, so I thought that it was interesting. When I saw there was a bit of romance in it, according to the genre, I was sort of skeptical because for some reason I thought it was a battle story. I wished for it to be H/G but R/Hr works well enough.
All in all it was a lovely read. I think I might go check out one of your other stories (Even though I have work to do...).Author's Response: You have no idea how much I appreciate your grammar tips. I write so eratically that I can't keep a beta, so this helps so much!!
And, I actually have half of a second chapter for this, H/G. And it sorta starts going into the battle. You've probably motivated me to finish it. Not until after NaNoWriMo, O'course. :)
Thanks for taking the time to read and review!!! Report Review
oh, that's really sweet. i liked it. i can just imagine Hermione like that, you wrote her really good. xx addi.Author's Response: Thank you a million times over! And I'm so glad that my Hermione turned out alright....it takes me forever for me to be satisfied with how I write her. :) Report Review
I loved it! You kept everyone in canon! I loved it! This is going on the favorites!Author's Response: Thanks! I tried hard to keep them in check, so I'm glad it worked! Woo-Hoo! It's going on your favourites? I'm psyched! Report Review
i liked this a lot, one of my fav r/hr one shots. i think you should follow it up though, i think there's definatly room to expand and do a second one. i'd read it. i love the way you write, you write so...well, i guess. "This pretty much encompassed the past two years, so for Ron to not know where Hermioneâ€™d goneâ€¦well, never mind, thatâ€™s Ron." oh that made me laugh so hard, i got strange looks from my parents lol. it was nice that you included that little bit of humour in an otherwise depressing and angsty story. good job!Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing this! I left all that room for a continuation so that if I ever felt inspired again, I could just go off this. And I remember actually writing that little part about Ron not knowing where Hermione'd gone. I was going to put something like 'it wasn't like Ron' or whatever and then I was just like--Whoa. And then I realized that this was RON I was writing about....I love Ron. I'm so glad you liked it. Report Review
really good story. if you're still looking for a better title I think you could probably use "How can you be sure?" since that seems to be said a lot. if you want me to, I'll make you a banner, too.Author's Response: Thanks for reading and enjoying! And thank you so much for the suggestion and offer to help. I think that the title it has now has grownd on me, actually. I may still change it though, and if I decide to, I'll find you to make me a banner, deal? lol. Thanks. Report Review
this is it? you got to write a 2nd one.
Author's Response: We'll see. I'm leaning towards something more, but it's not for sure yet. Report Review
Interesting. I noticed that the ending to this one-shot and your other one (Confessions, I think?) end almost the same. It's a nice ending, but for the people who read all your works, it might get repetitive. Other than that, it was great, I really enjoyed reading it. Poor kids. Well done.Author's Response: Thanks so much for pointing that out. I spent so much time worrying about the rest of it that I just wanted to finish it...I'm going to change it up a bit once my computer stops being slow. lol Glad you liked it! Report Review
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