I just wanted to drop this review really quickly-
I LOVE your writing. Very few people write as you do. I'm not sure how to describe it, but your writing evokes images of the older, classic stories, (think the Bronte sisters, Austen, Doyle, Shelley, etc), with the imagery and descriptive language. The not quite archaic stylistic writing is beautiful, and I really noted it in the previous chapter: Discover.
The scene you wrote starting with the below paragraph, reminded me so strongly of such romances, and seemed to belong alongside the writings that detailed Cathy and Heathcliff's torrid affair, Jane and Mr. Rochester's tumultuous relationship, and the likes of such.
"“Because without you my life is not worth living!” I cried, my expressionless facade shattered in an instant with everything that I had been keeping bottled up deep inside myself in that moment tearing free, tears and rain cascading down my cheeks, with all the emotion and need that I could put into those simple words that were so immeasurably difficult for me to utter."
The rest of the chapter from thereon most certainly did not disappoint, and the story as a whole, was rather fantastic.
Thank you for sharing their tale with us, and I hope you continue to write more!
~CS Report Review
God, way to make me cry (well, really, leak a few tears) there at the end. I didn't think I would either-but really, up until the end of chapter 16, I was still holding out hope that Ellie would maybe, perhaps, still be able to survive fully-mentally, and physically, even though that would have not been quite realistic.
I do have to ask about the fight-Ellie was rather good at dueling, wasn't she? She was at least loads better than Lily, as I recall you writing in the beginning. Why then, would she not have been able to hold off Carrow better than she did? Even if she, a 5th year was able to attempt a Patronus, a decent shield charm should have been possible. Or hell, even some well placed jinxes and hexes at the fragile and mentally unstable Alecto.
I also have to wonder about Al's sudden fit of complete rage when he realized who the girl he snogged and thought he raped was, since the way you've written Al would be that he would be more likely to exhibit his anger and horror with furious, horrible, despairing silence, instead of extreme vocal and physical rage. Yes, he directed it at Ellie, but it just seemed so out of character for him, that even while reading and being immersed in the story, it took me by surprise.
Points to you (or really, Ellie) on how you wrote the previous chapter, and this final one. I heard her voice coming through very clearly, as she was going to meet her fate, and to sacrifice herself for her adoptive family. I admired the way you showed with almost alarming clarity, how she defied Carrow without even really trying, just by being herself (with a bit of Lily and that inherited Bell mouth thrown in!), and the points at which she started losing her mind. It was interesting, and very well done.
Good Job Ginger! :)
-CS.Author's Response: Phew! I didn't completely destroy your emotions :) And I guess that's sort of my style... I tried to inject hope, despite the ominous inevitability of some of the foreshadowing/circumstances. I liked that no one really knew how it was going to end until it happened.
Okay, so Ellie was... moderate. She's average in all her classes- that was simply a comparison to Lily, who's absolutely RUBBISH at dueling and that was more an inference of Lily's ability rather than Ellie. And to be honest, she'd sort of already given up. She believed that fighting back would/could endanger her family and quite simply, she wanted to just be dead, or be alive, not in an odd state of in between. And have you ever noticed that the mentally unstable are the most dangerous, to themselves and others? Ellie would have fought back, but she knew it would have just angered Carrow.
That all came out in a huge rush- he remembered who it was before he thought he remembered what he had done- and it wasn't at all what he was expecting. And I think, had Al discovered it at a different time, perhaps alone, he would have remained introvert in directing his anger and fully blamed himself, avoiding Ellie constantly. Unfortunately, she was there to blame.
Thank you. These where the easiest chapters to write- I just knew what she was going to think and do the whole time. It was just so simple to me, really.
And the sarcasm? Yep, that's Ellie through and through. You're about to die, so why not make fun of your killer? ;) she's a silly girl.
Thank you for such a lovely and interesting review.
Ginger Report Review
Well. Dang. (I used a different D word, before deciding that the mods might report and remove this review. So I played it safe, haha.)
Throughout that last scene, those few paragraphs, I'm going, "oh god, oh god, oh crap. Oh KAT!", and you WROTE IT SO PERFECTLY TOO.
These lines: "I've been waiting for this moment for years. And it's so oddly perfect, but so imperfect and wet and slimy, but so desperate and we need it and I can't let go."
"I don't know how long we're kissing, but I know it's for a long time. I don't care, I don't care. I just want him. I just want Albus. And I'm crying, and the tears and mixing with the rain but I don't care because Albus is kissing me and he wants me and I don't know why I'm crying anymore."
The run ons, the multiple ands, Kat's desperation and singlemindedness, the descriptions? It worked. It was beautiful, and I felt it.
Loved it.Author's Response: Haha! Good one you- I get you ;)
THANK YOU! This chapter was really quite hard to write for some reason- I knew exactly what I wanted to put, but it was impossible to put it into words D: But I've got really positive feeback, so thank you so much- your comments really mean a lot to me.
I wanted those run-ons because I think it sort of encapsulates the moment- it's not short and snappy, it's long and confusing. I'm really glad they worked- I was worried about them :D
Anyways, thank you so much for reading and reviewing! It means a lot :) Report Review
Haha. Mr. Rubbish indeed. :)
Lucy and Scorpius are two of the most unusual characters that I have ever met, and their lives and friends entertain me to no end! I loved Starving Artists, and I did like Weather for Ducks, however, I feel like Weather didn't end as strongly as it could have, especially with Lucy getting pregnant, and then the story ends a chapter after that revelation.
Lucy and Scorpius just don't feel finished to me. It's not that I want you to write up to the birth of their child or wedding-I'd rather you didn't, unless they insisted otherwise, actually. I'm trying to fully explain this without insulting this, because it is a fairly good story, but it's just not there, or up to par with Starving Artists. Sorry. :/Author's Response: I have a backlog of about 74 reviews to respond to but I wanted to answer this one straight away...nah, it's totally not up to par with the original fic, I'll admit that. I actually hated writing these chapters. The story felt like so much of a chore towards the end that I wanted to finish it and just get it out the way. I'd planned to write a sequel as early as 2010, before starving artists kind of got 'famous' or was even finished, so although I didn't really start writing this until september of last year, I feel like it's dragged on too long and I wanted it out the way. To be honest, this was nothing like the way I originally wanted to end it either, but I eventually realised I had to change the ending based on the sort of feedback I was getting from readers (not just in reviews, but through a ton of different channels). So if the ending feels a little abrupt, it's probably because I tacked it onto the end of a story that was going in a very different direction. But, um, if I'd written my original ending people would probably be madder. And going on to write about ~the wedding~ and such would probably make people mad too.
I'm not entirely sure how I could have made this ending a bit stronger - you comment about it ending a bit suddenly after the ~revelation~, but I feel like stretching it out a bit longer wouldn't have been good for the story. For starters, I can't write romance without it being awkward, haha! I really couldn't bring myself to go into any more detail beyond what's here. I wanted to end it by at least giving the vague outline of what happened to them, without necessarily fleshing it out too much - that way, more's left open for you readers to interpret how you like. I tried to tie up loose ends without completely 'finishing it' with a 'they all lived happily ever after' or something. So whilst I agree with you that, as stories go, it wasn't quite up to par with the original, but I feel I have to disagree when you suggest the ending was abrupt.
So thank you for your constructive criticism, and, don't worry, you didn't insult this - I'm actually pleased to get feedback that makes me think a bit more and gives me some pointers for improvement! Thank you for reviewing and I'm sorry it didn't live up to your expectations :(
♥ Report Review
First of all: props to you for writing this beast of a novel! :) This was absolutely fantastic! And I love how you portrayed Amy throughout the story, and how she slowly grew up to see everything that was going on and happening with her family.
I read this before everything else, so I'm excited to see how the rest of the story goes! Report Review
Okay- just had to do a shout out for Sabriel! :)
Love this so far!Author's Response: Oh, I'm glad you like it, too! I'm actually considering a Sabriel crossover at some point - I love those books so much. Report Review
I loved this.
You have such a talent for writing, and showing us the characters in such a way, that lets the reader into their world, while still retaining their enigmatic qualities. Neville, as the understanding, exasperated, friendly professor that was once where Hugo was, and Scorpius-with the Malfoy name that will follow him all of his life, betwixt and between the two, and Hugo.
I believe this is the first story that I've read that displays Hugo as the believable, unusual, very quirky, young, and searching son of two of the Golden Trio.
Hugo is the outcast we all know, still searching for their place in the world, perhaps under pressure from their families, and others who expect them to be something, even though they have no clue where, how, and what that will be.
You showed us a small part of Hugo's journey to finding his place. Hugo didn't grow up in this story, and he didn't find his perfect niche in the world, but you know what? He was most certainly on the way there. :) Report Review
I died laughing while reading this! (Think crying, gaspng for air due to not being able to breathe, etc.) I loved all the puns and obscure references to muggle literature (Come on. Who remembers James Herriot?! Only you. So you're awesome!), and the interesting characters and takes that you have on Hogwart's next gen. Love love love.
Please finish the last few chapters, and post the spin off please! :)Author's Response: Awh, so glad you liked it Coolsilver! I had a blast writing this story on my mini little holiday and it was just so much fun,r eally, to write it. I LOVE JAMES HERRIOT! My childhood! Ack, loved it.
Thanks for a lovely review and the spin off is up! :)
-AC Report Review
A.C.-this was beautiful. It really was.
I found this story about a week ago, decided it'd be worth reading (Oh, how right I was!), and decided to save it for a day where I would do nothing but read.
Yes, the writing was a tad rough in the beginning, but it honestly wasn't bad. Along the way, I fell in love with Mary, Sirius, Lily, Johnny, and the others. I laughed, I cheered, and I cried. The lovely cast of characters grew within the story, and I was along with them on the ride.
Thank you for writing this-it's one of the few stories that have really made me cry, and honestly FEEL for the characters. It's also very well written, (except for a few minor flaws, but every rose has its thorn) and for that, I thank you.Author's Response: Hey there coolsilver! Thank you for such an honestly lovely review. You've really touched my heart with this. I'm very very glad you decided to read this.
I'm acutely aware of those minor flaws and I so very want to attack it with some pruning sheers one day soon. People have to restrain me as i think I'd probably cut too much. But, thank you so much :D Report Review
Interesting perspective on the next gen. I like how the characters were portrayed, although they did change a bit too fast for it to be realistic.
Altogether, a fresh new story, and I liked it! :)Author's Response: They did...that was through laziness and a lack of effort on my part. There is a slightly bigger time jump than you might think but it's still very quick and that was just my desire to get this finished.
I'm glad that you liked it in spite of its fatal flaw though! Thanks for the review! Report Review
Whoa. Just... Whoa. :)
When I got to the end, I hit the up button, and read the story once more, and the pieces finally fit perfectly. I like that-how it doesn't quite fit or come together until you've read it a second time.
The first time, I noticed the beauty of the writing, the intensity, and tried to make sense of the characters' pain, without all of the details coming together until the end. The writing is beautiful, and to be commended. I like how the storyline was stitched, a piece here, a piece there, instead of writing the separate scenes, and then the main scene of Dominique's glory. The way it was done had more impact, and perspective.
The second time, I noted each character, and then with my previous knowledge, was able to appreciate the nuances of each better, and forgive me if I'm incorrect, but I believe it was Dom, Bill, Dom, Victoire, Dom, Fleur, Dom, Louis, Dom, and then finally, Lysander?
Thank you for writing this-I really enjoyed it, and look forward to reading your other works! :)Author's Response: Aw, thank you.
I think this definitely needs to be read again because there are bits that will probably make little sense the first time you read it and then a re-read makes them a little clearer.
I took the idea of the structure from a much longer piece of work I read for uni, using lots of voices in one story to get to a finished product (even if it doesn't feel quite finished). I'm glad that you liked that because I'm not sure a lot of people really get the style :P
Yep, that's right. I didn't want to put too many names in there because that would disrupt it a bit but obviously we know this family, we know it's Dominique and it's quite obvious to go back and piece it all together later.
Thank you so much for such a lovely review. I really appreciate it. Report Review
An interesting take on the Founders:
-I question where Salazar and Helga are in this tale, and there are questions unanswered about the founding of Hogwarts, but I assume your intention was only to spotlight this one moment in the history of.
-Helena was not a founder, although she very well could have been involved, and it is that I wonder how she came to mind for the tale.
-your writing style is to be praised, I was able to read at a good pace, and appreciate the portrayal of Helena and Rowena. Report Review
Ahhh! I'm so glad I decided to read this! The storyline and plot are very intriguing, and so VERY well written. Rose and Scorpius are well fleshed out, and naturally written, and I really like that.
The story moves quite well, ebbing and flowing up to the climatic moments, and I can tell that the tournament oriented scenes had a LOT of thought put into them, which I appreciate greatly.
Thank you for writing this, and I look forward to seeing how this tale ends! Report Review
I loved being able to take part of the day today and just read this. I was intrigued by the plot idea, and I liked being able to see how both you and Rose matured and changed throughout the story. Your writing style did change as the story went on, and Rose really grew as a character in a believable way.
I feel like this should probably be left as a stand alone story, with no sequel, but if you wanted to explore some of the events in the story and flesh them out, (E.g., Ron's accident, back stories about Tony and Anna, and other characters), that'd be a great starting point. :)
Thank you for writing this, this story was definitely a high point in my day! Report Review
Quick note: I wanted to ask-if Fleur is perfectly French, wouldn't she have had her children call her Maman?
Otherwise, go on, I'm loving this story so far! Report Review
Please update soon! I love the new development between Victoire and Grant.Author's Response: I'm working on it. Glad you like Grant/Vic :).
Thanks for the review!
~Ty Report Review
Thank you for FINALLY updating! :D
I danced around for a solid 5 minutes when I logged on and saw that Ch. 19 and 20 had been added! So yes, Chrysta deserves many thanks from me. :)
I eagerly wait in anticipation for the next installation in this thrilling story, so don't disappoint! Report Review
The ending was cute. I liked "Her Decision", and I know that yes, it's definitely out of canon, but the storyline and some things could have been adjusted to seem to fit into the canon world better without changing the story's essentials.
It was nicely written, and for that, you deserve recognition. My taste is normally a little different, but I do like your work, and I'm glad I read this.Author's Response: thank you. im pleased you enjoyed it!
i will defend my non-canonness by saying i wrote this before I had read HBP and DH, lol. plus, it was always going to be AU cause dramione would never exist in RL ^_^
thank you again!! Report Review
This is truly amazing. This is written with a depth that is rarely seen, and that not many bother to find. I'm rather glad that I found this story, and I would appreciate a sequel-I'm rather curious to know how the rest of the tale would turn out. Report Review
sheesh. I cried.
After so long, and waiting for forever, reading these last two chapters was amazing. The poignancy and depth of the writing still astounds me beyond belief.
"Maybe there really was a perfect Arabesque."
goodness. I seriously just started crying. This was the perfect ending-something that writers almost never get.
But you did. Congratulations. Report Review
OMG! You finally FINALLY got out of your hole and wrote another chapter!!! Are you kidding me? I'm estastic! Don't ever, EVER, EVER take that long to update again!
Still good so far, the story is progressing nicely. Keep going! Report Review
this is amazing absurd and fantastic. hahaha!Author's Response: Why, thanks!!! Report Review
interesting. Report Review
This is Terrific. Nearly worthy for the 7th book. Author's Response: wow, thanks! Report Review
lol...very nice one shot. sorry. I live in America by the way..Author's Response: cool, thnx for reviewing. America's really cool, i'd like to live there one day.
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