Reading Reviews From Member: Lululuna
  
726 Reviews Found

Review #1, by LululunaOhana: Scum

8th September 2014:
Well hello!! I am so excited to read this, the whole story is so amazing and dedicated to me??! Ahh, I just want to hug you right now!! ♥ :D

First of all can I say I'm so honoured to have such a lovely story dedicated to me. You're an amazing writer and I love your interpretation of Kreacher: it's funny, because he's one of those minor characters I've always wanted to read about and so this is simply perfect. :)

I really liked the unique interpretation of Walburga and her portrait. The paragraph about how her portrait produced scum and the repulsion Kreacher felt towards her was so inspiring and original, I loved it. It's also such a unique portrayal in how it seems like he clung to that portrait only because it was all he had left, not because he really worshipped her. The dedication Kreacher had towards Regulus and the empty feeling he had when he died, however, was really heartbreaking. I especially liked how Regulus made it seem like he and Kreacher were equals: that was a really neat parallel and made me think of their relationship in a new way. Not only from a characterization point of view, but from a literary one: both Regulus and Kreacher had literary links in the story.

Another original thing I noticed was how you showed Kreacher still caring about Bellatrix and Narcissa even when they were grown up and technically on the other side of the war. It's like he sees Voldemort as being the ultimate nemesis, who took his family away from him, instead of all of the others who supported the Dark Lord. I loved how he evolved towards wanting to protect scum and those considered lowly, it was a really neat theme.

I thought the use of second person was perfect and flowed really naturally. The whole story was beautifully written. :)

Thank you so much for dedicating this to me, I'm so excited and honoured and excited that my beta-reading helped you gain confidence in your wonderful writing. It really means a lot! ♥ :)

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Review #2, by LululunaYou Are Part of Everything : Dear Prudence

4th September 2014:
Hello! :) I'm here to review your story for the Beatles challenge - thanks for the wonderful entry! :D

Firstly, I really liked how you kept Sirius' identity secret until the end, and in doing so showed a completely different take on his womanizing ways. It took his handsome charm and the attractions girls felt for him to a darker, less innocent place while still fitting in with his character. He comes across as so selfish and manipulating instead of romantic, and I felt so sad for Prudence and seeing the effect that Sirius' betrayal had on her.

I like how although the beginning feels like a nice, sweet love story with the popular crush noticing the quiet girl, there were still hints that all was not as good as it seems. I was pretty suspicious that Sirius might hurt Prudence and that just became stronger and more foreboding, building throughout the story. One way this was done was how Prudence's feelings of attraction and excited nervousness around Sirius were also symptoms of fear, like her heart beating fast and her stomach being in knots. It parallels the attraction with fear.

Something interesting about the story which I liked was how it was told in the form of Prudence directly addressing Sirius, almost in an accusatory way by the end of the story. It was a cool parallel to the Beatles song where the singer is directly addressing Prudence, so I liked how you kind of told the other side of the story with an interpretation of the song. I'm so glad you picked this song as it fit so nicely with the story, both in terms of plot and language.

I liked the use of the word "play": instead of it being a word indicating Prudence's freedom from her stifled, indoor life, it was a word used for Sirius playing with and discarding Prudence's heart. Sadly, I'm sure there are many girls who have been similarly treated by boys, and I really like how you tied that into the story here to show both a tragic but realistic interpretation of teen romance.

Great job, thanks so much for the lovely entry! :D

Author's Response: Hi there! Thank you for making this awesome challenge! :)

I really wanted to make this story more about Prudence, and not just another Sirius story, although, ultimately it *is* another Sirius story. That was why I kind of kept him hinted at, but not flat out acknowledged until the very end. Yeah, we always hear about what a "playboy" Sirius was - at least in our collective head-cannon haha - so I thought it would be, not fun, but interesting to focus on the aftermath of his carelessness with women.

It's definitely your typical toxic, for lack of a better word, relationship. It starts out all sweet and roses and then slowly disintegrates into something awful. But when you look back, you see that the slight awfulness was always there in a way. Prudence was scared because, she knew what he was like with other girls. She may have hoped it would be different with her, but I think deep down she would have known it would not have been. But at the same time, she was a teenage girl, who was just ecstatic that her long time crush had finally noticed her. Ugh... boys.

The way Prudence told the story was not planned out. It just kind of happened. It felt right to tell it this way, you know? I'm really happy you liked how it all came together and how it did end up paralleling the song. XD

This story was a little personal to me. I've had a similar experience when I was younger. Not *quite* as bad, I definitely embellished a little. I put a lot of myself into Prudence, so posting this has left me feeling quite vulnerable. I was actually terrified to post it, at first. So I'm glad that this did end up feeling authentic.

Again, thank you for the challenge! I really enjoyed doing it. And thank you so, so much for such a lovely review!! I'm thrilled you enjoyed this!

xoxo Meg


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Review #3, by LululunaEverto Trucido: Halloween 1976 -- Part Two

2nd September 2014:
Hi again!!

Ahh, so the vampire was unexpected! Well, sort of, but I had kind of forgotten about it, so it was quite scary. You write the battle scenes really well: they're suspenseful without being too gory which I really like.

The idea that Sirius thinks Regulus is her soulmate made me laugh. If only he knew... well, he did suspect, and I feel like Snape being her soulmate is probably even worse for the Marauders.

I thought Sirius was sweet here, even though he was extremely drunk. It's nice to see him opening up to Grace and showing the pain he has experienced regardless of the circumstances.

it was interesting how you addressed Grace's addiction to cigarettes and how she recognizes that she has a dependent personality. It fits with her character, not only that she would be dependent but also that she notices that and tries to prevent a new addiction from forming. It was a little detail but something that really was powerful to me.

Another great chapter, I'm already excited for the next one!! :D

Author's Response: Hello round two!

Bahah, so I may have let the vampire thing go on for a bit too long...but I wanted to save it for the Halloween chapters!

I think that, despite everything, that discovering that Snape is her soulmate would be worse for the Marauders than if Regulus was... they just don't like Snape...

Oh the budding friendships ^.^. Drunk Sirius is a little more open than sober Sirius.

Thanks for the lovely reviews!! :D

-Rumpel


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Review #4, by LululunaPlaying for Keeps: Mint Chocolate Chip Memories

2nd September 2014:
Yay, she has a name!! Well, she's gone by a few different names, by the sounds of things. It makes me so sad that she was bullied to the extent that she hates and is ashamed of something as genuine as her name - it's just awful. Right now I'm hoping that she never forgives James and just gets some solid revenge on him, frankly. He seems horrible, though I suppose that people do grow up and change.

I liked all the backstory with Hattie and the roots of their friendship, though one detail I thought was great was how Hattie did have other friends and how Annie felt neglected and jealous when she did. It fits well with Hattie's personality that she could have multiple friends at once, and I thought Annie's feelings of jealousy made her more relatable. As confident as she is when playing pool, she clearly has a lot of faults, like not being good at magic and being so shy and closed off from others.

I love mint chocolate chip ice cream as well! It's the best flavour other than MAYBE blueberry.

I'm still loving this, and even though you've answered some questions I'm still longing for answers. What happened with her sister? What exactly did James do and why doesn't he recognize her? What's the wager with Freddy? Guess I'll have to just keep reading!! :D

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Review #5, by LululunaPlaying for Keeps: A Face From the Past

2nd September 2014:
Back again! :D

Ahh, I knew it was James since you mentioned his hazel eyes. :P Hehe. Gah, he seems like such a fascinating character but I dislike him because the main character (what's HER name?!!) hates him and has clearly held a grudge which I don't blame her for. At first I thought that he maybe physically abused her while at Hogwarts and felt really sad, but emotional bullying is still quite awful as well.

I liked how much emphasis was put on the power of names in this chapter. The impact of James' name and how much it defines him, to the extent that he'll do anything to protect it. The narrator's name and how it could be turned against her and how if he knew it, it would turn the power back to him: it's fascinating, and reminds me a bit of fairy tales where knowing somebody's name gives power.

I love, once again, how there's a contrast between her body and her spirit. I loved the line about her spirit not being able to break like glass in contrast to her body being only the surface: it seems like her body protects her spirit, guarding her false exterior from her true interior. She's so interesting, and I love all the literary contrasts of her character.

So it sounds like James and Freddy made some sort of wager? Sneaky underworld casino Freddy is really exciting to me as well, I hope we get to meet him at some point. :P

Another great chapter, Mallory!! :D I'll for sure be back sooner rather than later.

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Review #6, by LululunaPlaying for Keeps: Shooting Star, After Midnight

2nd September 2014:
Hi Mallory!!! :)

Wow, this story is so unique and cool! First of all, I completely fell in love with the first paragraph. The writing and the descriptions of the casino are both beautiful and poetic but also have this... almost tough, gritty quality to it, as if there's darkness and decay lurking underneath all the glitz and glamour.

At first I wasn't sure how I felt about the main character not being named, but I think it worked in building up the mystery and really making me want to read the next chapter. Although I have no clue who she is and what her story is I love what we've got of her so far: how clever and sly she is, how she manipulates men while being disgusted by their need to subordinate her even though this allows her to dupe them. She seems to both lean on and resent her sensuality and sexual power over him, which carries some really interesting messages about gender roles in society and how women function and confront these gender roles. I'm excited to read more about this and how the character both uses and abuses her gendered sexuality.

This positioning of the next gen characters like Freddy gives a new maturity and dark side to the wizarding world and their regular portrayals in fanfiction. Coupled with your beautiful writing, I'm looking forward to reading more of this story and learning more about the casino and the mysterious characters! :) Great job, lovely!! :)

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Review #7, by LululunaEverto Trucido: Halloween, 1976 -- Part One

2nd September 2014:
Hey hey!!

Ooh, great chapter! I've really missed this story and Grace's insane life. I thought the beginning section was really haunting and beautifully written what with the oddness of Grace wandering through the future and the horror of seeing James' body. It's a good reminder of how awful her gift of knowing the future is, and I wish there was something she could do to help. After all, this is an AU... right?! I thought her throwing up after seeing it was Halloween was effective as well.

One thing I noticed that you could think about was this description: with its white siding and picket fence, which I just thought sounded quite American. A British cottage, especially in historic Godric's Hollow, might have a stone wall in front of it instead of a picket fence - they're pretty big on those over there. :P And maybe stone walls covered in vines or something instead of siding, but again I'm not sure how exactly the Potter cottage was described in the books.

I hope Grace does go to the party! Lily was so funny with how nerdy she was. She's a lot like Hermione and I'm glad you've emphasized the goody-two-shoes part of her character.

Hmm, I wonder if perhaps Grace didn't mind looking her best in front of Severus, even though she denied it? :P Regulus was really rude and I wanted to smack him, and I like how you've made him a truly nasty character. He just feels like a little spoiled brat. I was on the edge of my seat throughout the potion exploding, ahh I can't believe that happened!! Grace and Sev's little tumble on the floor was sweet, though. :P It's fun to see her getting a break from all her crazy responsibilities.

I think business is going to go down at this party, and I'm guessing Grace might find her way there!! Awesome chapter, Rumpel! :D

Author's Response: TWO reviews? How did I get so lucky?

I'm SO not telling what's going to happen *evil grin*.

Oh yes, that's probably a very good idea. I didn't even think about the difference between what a typical American household would look like versus a typical British household. Duh, Rumpel...

She is a bit like Hermione in this, isn't she? ;)

I'm sure there was something brewing along those lines in the back of her teenage mind :p. Regulus, Regulus, Regulus... well, he'll be more important later. Yay, I'm glad that you like the potion-explosion, as that was particularly fun to write.

Business is going down, but not so much at the party ;).

Thanks for the wonderful review!

-Rumpel


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Review #8, by LululunaBeat It: The morning after

31st August 2014:
Hi Tammi!! :) I'm here for the TGS review exchange, and decided to leave a review on the second chapter since the first one was shorter.

I really like Roxy so far! She seems very down to earth and I like how she is so relatable, between being silly with her friends and coping with a hangover by going back to her parents and hoping for mac and cheese. The dynamics in the Qudditch teams seem fun as well and I'm curious to know more about the rivalry between the two teams and how it plays out. The dynamics between all the different Quidditch teams and how they are a little community was really well described as well.

Personally I actually found Jason Turner pretty creepy! It seems like Roxy is sort of interested or at least attracted to him though, so I'll give him a second chance. :P His comments about getting married were a bit of a red flag, though, haha. It would be interesting to see her team's reaction if she actually started something up with him and if that would actually affect her place on the team as well.

It's really interesting how Roxy is a Beater and I'm curious to learn more about why she chose Beating. She must have to be pretty strong to carry around the bats, but even though Beaters tended to be guys in the books I like how she's breaking the mould a little bit while still following in her father's footsteps.

Violet is a great character, I liked her and Roxy's interactions and also her comment about not even being able to see the snitch made me laugh. I also thought George and Angelina seemed very in character and the dynamic between the two of them made me smile. George's hat was just classic, and I like how you mentioned his ear as well, it was a great detail.

A great start, Tammi! :) I really enjoyed the first two chapters!

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Review #9, by LululunaHermione Granger and the Dead Man's Mark: Chapter One

31st August 2014:
Hi Hori! :) I'm finally here for your review from the Slytherin review exchange!

Wow, so this story is really intriguing and I'm excited that I got to discover it. It's quite different, both in content and in the mature, elaborate quality of the writing style from a lot of novels I've read on here. It's funny how you mentioned that our stories started off similarly with the descriptions of post-war Azkaban, and I love how you focused on the politics surrounding the changes at the prison as well.

One detail I really liked was how Azkaban was filled with talking and chatter. It's the sort of characterization which really brings the setting to life and helped me to really picture what it might be like there through sensory detail.

I also enjoyed how Weston was characterized: I'm not sure if he's going to be a continuing character in the story or was just a pair of eyes through which to describe Skerbetz's death, but I liked how you showed the motivations behind wizards who become guards there and how they're not necessarily driven by the most noble intentions. It's a funny balance, because while the prisoners are dangerous criminals, the conditions they are kept under are pretty inhumane and I could see the hints that the guards have let the power go to their heads and enjoy having that power over the inmates.

One thing I did find a little odd was how Weston was so shocked that the prisoner could be dead. I think it fit well with how he was afraid of the prisoners and of his own safety being threatened, but wouldn't they have people dying quite often, from the squalid conditions or even from taking their own lives? Just a thought there, though you did a good job of showing how Weston might not be completely rational when faced with fear.

I liked the vagueness of the discovery of Skerbetz's body, and how there wasn't a lot of detail in that section compared to the rest of the story. It did a good job of raising the mystery and intrigue surrounding him and made me want to know if there was something wrong with his body. I also love the background surrounding him: how you've taken the Dark Mark's powers as a tattoo and turned it into this whole culture of magical tattoos. It's such an original, amazing idea, and I really want to keep reading and learn more about it.

It's interesting how Imogen has the same skill and passion for tattoos as her father, but resents and fears him to the point of being glad he's dead. I like her as a character so far and really loved the scene with the cat tattoo and how it went to hide. That tattoo seemed pretty sweet and harmless but you've hinted at the more dark uses for these tattoos as well. I'm curious too about Imogen's tattoos and the unique powers they have. I can tell you've put a lot of creativity and effort into creating this sect of the wizarding world.

I really liked this, and will definitely be back to read and review the rest of the chapters when I have a chance! :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review! I'm very happy you enjoyed it so far, and I do hope you make it back to read on further.
The questions you have about Weston's surprise and Imogen's complex relationship to her father's vocation are precisely what I wanted readers to be curious about, so I thank you for confirming that I'm doing that at least passably. ;)
Thank you again for your thoughts and compliments!


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Review #10, by LululunaAlright, Alright: Alright, Alright

27th August 2014:
Hi there! :) I'm (finally) here to review your entry for the Beatles challenge - thanks so much for giving me this awesome story to read!

One thing that stood out to me was how you managed to tell a really complete story without too many words or dwelling on every detail. There were many clues and details which were very subtle but said so much about the characters' situation while still letting the reader imagine it for themselves, such as not explaining who exactly Emmeline is or how she and Rabastan became close, or not going into full detail about the end and how he hurt her. I like how instead of describing that scene where he assaulted her in detail, you explained it with a simple sentence which showed the horror of the moment in a subtle way.

I thought it was quite believable how Emmeline could be influenced by Rabastan into believing that he was trying to make a better world, even if their visions of that world were actually so different. It wasn't only that she was in love with him, but also that he portrayed the revolution in such a way to appeal to her values and beliefs. I imagine a lot of people would have initially been won over to the Death Eaters by this sort of manipulation into thinking the revolution was a good thing, and you did a good job of showing Emmeline's journey and awakening from being brainwashed by him.

I really liked the style of the story, including the addressing the reader through lines like "you see" in the first line. It gave the whole story a lyrical quality and echoed the original Beatles song in a really lovely and unique way. I liked the echoing of "Alright, alright" as well, it fit so well with the tone of the story and the song.

The listing of thoughts and ideas in sentences was stylistically unusual and fit so nicely with the whole story. I felt like I knew Emmeline and she was speaking to me directly, trying to both defend herself and to atone for the fact that she used to believe in the dream.

I really loved this section especially, when Emmeline confronts Rabastan:

I told him not to worry, about the world, about himself, about me. Because now, I could see. I could see how he wanted the world to be, and I could see how I wanted something so much more different. And, that it was going to be alright.

It was really beautiful to read: the language is simple, but the rhyming sentences with "see," "me" and "be" fit really nicely.

I really loved this story, thanks so much for writing and giving me such a wonderful entry! :)

Author's Response: Hi!

I'm so so so grateful that you loved this story! I loved writing it, and was so nervous posting it that no one else would share my love of it. And to hear that you enjoyed it? I'm so grateful. I'm also relieved that you found Emmeline's brainwashing believable. I was scared that it was a little too much. But knowing that you believe it, relieves me.

Thanks for the wonderful compliments on the plot, the language, and the style. It was a new tone for me, and knowing that I did well puts a smile on my face. Thanks so so much, for all the kind words!

-Leigh


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Review #11, by LululunaTrue Romance: The Long Day of Vengeance

19th August 2014:
Hi Rose!!

Oh no, Scorpius!! :( It makes me so sad to see him leaning back into that cycle of abuse and violence, but it's a common narrative for people to accept abuse and forgive it until it happens again and again. I hope he can understand that his relationship with Corbin clearly isn't healthy, but considering how Scorpius was sort of emotionally stunted for his whole life and didn't really believe in himself or think himself worthy of love it fits with his insecurities that he would want to take Corbin back and forgive the abuse.

While I was sort of cheering for Lily to let out her feelings with Archie as well as the boys, I do feel a bit uneasy about the whole thing especially in the wake of Scorpius being hit by Corbin. Violence is never the answer really and Lily hitting Archie when he can't even run away, no matter how he hurt her, is a bit inappropriate as well. I wonder if the boys are going to face any trouble for abducting Archie? No matter what the guy did that would be pretty terrifying (I'm sorry for empathizing with the bad guy here :P).

Oh no, poor Brandon! From the way she treated him I suspected that she might be homophobic or at least convinced that heterosexual norms are the only way to properly raise a baby, nevermind, oh, love and care and support and all that. It reminds me of a fight I had with a friend a few months ago where he was saying that he doesn't think that gay couples should be allowed to adopt because "if you were a boy, Jenna, you would understand how much a son needs a father figure" or something ridiculous along those lines. And of course I put him in his place through obvious arguments like "in that vein, single mothers shouldn't be allowed to raise children" and such but he's not even a bad or homophobic guy in the slightest, so it goes to show how even educated people are still prejudiced against things which contradict gender norms. So that reminded me a lot of what Brandon is facing, even from his mother if I recall correctly.

Ahem. Tangent (what else is new?). Anyway this was an excellent chapter and I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next!! :D Also, love the last line. Hehe. Harry is pretty humble but he does deserve his mighty moments sometimes.

Oh and before I forget, I loved the Ginny line about "that lecherous little toad's timing." It was such a Ginny thing to say and made me smirk, hehe.



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Review #12, by LululunaI'll Never Let You Have Her: She Returns

10th August 2014:
Hi Tammi!!

Wow, I think Louis' panicked thoughts in reaction to Freya's return really showed how hard she hurt him and made it sink in. Although I'm curious to hear what Freya has to say to explain herself and why she's been gone for so long I also am glad that Louis has the support system he needs in order to protect himself from being hurt again and to get him through whatever Freya might attempt to do.

Sam and Rachel were so cute here and I loved their little domestic breakfast date. Rachel's point of view at the beginning was nice to and made me like her more. She comes across as very down to earth and easy going, and I liked all the scenes with the dragons and how central they were to Sam's day. You do a really good job of writing Sam and her actions!!

Great chapter, Tammi!! :D I'm so excited for the next one already!! ♥

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Review #13, by LululunaTrue Romance: I don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You

9th August 2014:
All caught up!!! :D

Woah, so much happened in this chapter!! I thought you wrote the funeral scene really well and the grief came through: though it's awful, I'm glad there were so many people who loved Arthur and were there to honour him, and that all the Weasleys have each other for support. It was nice to see Charlie as well even if he was being a bit bitter about his lack of a love life, I think that sort of attitude might encourage Rose to stop being depressed about her non-relationships.

Hmm, well looks like Corbin's possessiveness has come to a breaking point. This definitely made me not like him and I hope Scorpius leaves him as domestic violence is not okay, whether it's between a heterosexual or homosexual couple, or happens once or everyday. It's not alright, and I hope Scorpius can see through that and not forgive Corbin. I was proud of him when he told him to leave as it shows how he's grown up and doesn't let people walk all over him anymore.

Aw, poor Lily! Can't say I didn't see it coming but it's sad that she didn't. Rose was right about the silver lining but of course that's not going to make Lily feel any better for the time being. :(

A great chapter, and yay I'm all caught up. Now I can firmly say that I'm excited for the next udpate! :)

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Review #14, by LululunaTrue Romance: A Satisfied Mind

9th August 2014:
Woohoo I'm almost caught up!

Aw, poor Rose. It does make sense that she would lose confidence and be more self-consious after her post-relationship rejection from Scorpius, I can completely see where she's coming from.

Gah, I do think that Lily is rushing things with Archie. Not only that she's young - though that is a big part of it - but I don't really see what the rush is especially since they haven't known one another that long. I thought the family's reaction was very realistic though I have my doubts about whether this engagement will actually make it to marriage.

It's so sweet how much Arthur and Molly still cared about one another and how well they get along, I just loved them together. ♥ Especially just in front of what was about to happen next. It is a natural part of life and Arthur had a wonderful one, but his death is of course so sad to read about. At least he died at home after just having a lovely moment with his wife and grandson, and he didn't suffer.

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Review #15, by LululunaTrue Romance: There Goes the Fear

9th August 2014:
Aw, poor James!! I hope he's okay!!

I liked seeing the Scamanders and Lysander's crush on Lily was cute, especially with how he would not only look at the paper to just see her name, but also admit to doing so. You did a good job of writing their family dynamics and it was fun to see them appear in this story!

I think it might be good for Rose to move abroad semi-permanently and sort of start over there. It would be good for her business as well as get her out of the same old routines. It was fun reading the banter with her and her friends however, especially when she wanted to use magic on Eliza.

Ooh, raunchy times with Corbin and Scorpius. :P That was a cute moment, and I love all the sneaky innuendos, hehe.

Poor Lily - I'm glad she stood up for herself and her family, and hopefully she'll be able to find a way to fight back against the way the Prophet was handling cases and show how corrupt they are and have always been. I have noticed a theme of independent businesses and entrepreneurs in this story so it would be interesting to see if Lily goes in that direction too.

Another great chapter - I really hope James is okay!!

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Review #16, by LululunaTrue Romance: Hold Tight

9th August 2014:
Hello!!

I need to find more creative ways to begin and end reviews, haha.

Yay, James is still seeing Cindy!! I quite like what I've seen of both of them, especially James since he's so different from his regular portrayals in fanfiction with how he's more shy and insecure. Actually all of your Potter/Weasley characters are quite distinct and original.

I loved the line about needing the high chair in the first paragraph!

Hahaha, I can't believe Lily made the comment about having babies in front of her whole family! So funny. I liked seeing all the family dynamics and how Cindy was getting such positive attention even if Archie didn't quite fit in the same way. Also, Albus was really sweet in his cluelessness with Cora and I like how he's learning.

Corbin's a sneaky one, isn't he? With how he figured out the dinner with the Malfoys, and how Draco agreed with him about the planning for the books to have aphrodisiacs in them. I loved how Draco thought he was intelligent because of his sneakiness, hehe. it's nice to see the Malfoys sort of getting along, however.

I'm glad things get better for Rose soon!! *cough Pedro cough*



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Review #17, by LululunaTrue Romance: Don't You Want Me

9th August 2014:
Hi Rose!!

Ahahaha, I knew it would only be a matter of time before a lustful insinuation popped up in this story!! :P (referring to Al's inappropriate thoughts in front of Brandon's mum).

Backtracking a bit, aw I'm glad Al and Scorpius can be so mature with one another even though I do want them to be together in a way like I said in the last review.

It was sweet how Albus freaked out over Cora possibly being injured - maybe a bit like a new parent himself? It was nice seeing that real moment between Al and Brandon and how their everyday life might be together with Cora. I liked the interactions with Beatrice as well. I'm still more of a Scorbus shipper if I had to choose but Brandon is great as well and I do want him to be happy.

Poor Rose, well she really should be celebrating her single life while she still can since she has gotten to kiss a few pretty boys lately! Hopefully she crosses paths with Pedro again soon or some other awesome boy who hasn't already snogged Albus. :P

Another great chapter, Rose!! :)

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Review #18, by LululunaTrue Romance: Ice Cream

9th August 2014:
Aw, Remus was so cute. You do a really good job of writing kids, both he and Cora always seem so realistic. I thought it was a great moment of irony when Teddy said that Al had a lot to learn about kids without realizing how much that would sting due to what's going on in Al's personal life: it was a really good example of how it's easy to say the wrong thing and also how much this issue is affecting Albus.

Hmm poor Rose. She was pretty inappropriate going behind Al's back that way even though he doesn't quite deserve Brandon either in my opinion. I almost find myself shipping more Rose/Brandon and Albus/Scorpius in some ways though because I do think that Al and Scorpius have a lot in common and are both a bit sneaky in similar ways, but if Brandon doesn't feel that way about Rose then I'm sure it can't be helped.

I think it would be so cool for Scorpius to move to Paris, though I think he'd have to do it also for the sake of his own career and happiness, not just to keep Corbin happy and secure. I really liked hearing about his family history and I'd be even more curious about what the months hiding out in Paris were like for him as a child and whether it maybe explains why Corbin is a bit insecure and protective. It definitely adds an interesting side to his character.

:)

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Review #19, by LululunaTrue Romance: Only Myself to Blame

9th August 2014:
Hola!!

I think Brandon and Al's conversation was pretty realistic. I know Brandon was disappointed but if he wants Albus to commit to both him and Cora then that's a decision that shouldn't be rushed into, and of course Al is still keeping secrets from Brandon like what he was really doing the weekend they were supposed to go on that date. I almost feel like Albus just isn't mature enough to be with Brandon right now.

I loved Rose's scene! Well, felt uncomfortable because of Henrik being creepy and rude to her but the part with Pedro was cute. I think that clients making advances like that on her would be the sort of thing Rose will unfortunately have to deal with since she's young and attractive: it's not fair, but not unexpected that Henrik would find her helpfulness as a sign that she was interested. Though it was a bit crude Pedro had wise words about being careful about what she's "selling."

Yay for Lily! I know she didn't fully appreciate it but I liked how Archie took her there to tell her that he loved her. Cheesy, but kind of cool. I'm looking forward to seeing how meeting the family will go!! :)

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Review #20, by LululunaTrue Romance: The Wolves and The Ravens

9th August 2014:
Hi again Rose!!

Uh oh, sounds like Rose might have a bit of a thing for Brandon - clearly her and Albus have similar taste in guys which could be problematic. The moment where Albus showed up and Rose was there felt quite awkward and I was cringing a bit for her, and I don't blame her for feeling a bit embarrassed and not really knowing why she went there. I'm excited to read more about Rose's trip to Spain and how everything goes as it sounds so fun and fascinating.

The party was quite eventful, I love James and Cindy having a moment! Derrick was amusing as well though I'm glad Albus didn't go for him as well.

Haha, somehow I suspected that Corbin and Astoria would get along well! I'm glad Scorpius was standing up for himself and his business principles and it shows how important his job is in helping people with the potions they most likely need. I'm still not sure if I see a real future with Scorpius and Corbin as the latter is a bit controlling and condescending at times. But it would be so cool if they went to Paris!!

Another great chapter!! :D

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Review #21, by LululunaTrue Romance: Where the Wind Blows

9th August 2014:
Curse you and your speedy updates, making me all behind on reviewing! :P (But not really because ♥)

I can definitely relate to Rose's feelings about her friend getting married and having a baby. I'm at a similar age where a couple people are doing that and it's just so weird because I still feel like a kid! :P I thought you wrote her in contrast to her friends really well: even though Eliza's the one doing "grown-up" things Rose actually is a lot more mature.

And what?!! She got pregnant to keep her man?! Do people actually do that??!! :P

I think Scorpius is right to be a little wary around his mother. He doesn't want to get hurt again by her and letting her into his trust again might lead to more pain. She also isn't exacrly the best at communicating either though it is nice that she's making an effort. Typical Draco, too stubborn to admit he acted poorly as well.

The scene with Al and Brandon was sweet, and I liked how Brandon was so happy about their teamwork in doing ordinary household things, like cleaning and eating and feeding the baby. That's clearly the sort of stability and support that he needs right now, and I hope Albus understands that and isn't going to play around too much.

Great chapter, Rose!! Hopefully I'll be more caught up soon and I'll have to check out the one-shot!! :D

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Review #22, by LululunaStarfall: Prologue

4th August 2014:
Hi Isobel! ♥

Ooh, I'm so excited about this! The whole prologue was just deliciously, darkly written and chilling. I'm definitely intrigued to find out what could lead Lily to sacrifice her own child like this. It ties in a really interesting way with the summary, and I'm wondering if the loss of Harry is like the loss of innocence and love for Lily. I can't imagine her being selfish enough to sacrifice her son without a great deal of pain and if she believed it was the only thing that could be done to keep Voldy from continuing to destroy.

At first I hoped that there might be some way that Harry could still survive this: perhaps, because he is an innocent soul dying to save others, he could be spared like he was in DH? That would fit with the Jesus/saviour background of Harry's death in DH, but here Harry isn't willingly giving consent to sacrifice himself for others, so I'm not so sure.

Another line I found really interesting was about "the man she loves." I'm not sure if that refers to Snape or James here, since it wasn't actually specified. I'm sort of thinking Snape might have convinced her since James could either be dead (since I can't imagine him agreeing with Lily to give up Harry and because he wouldn't come with her) or she could be in love with Snape. He was pretty secretive in this chapter so I'm not sure.

Wow, you really packed so much into a short prologue! This was amazing, and I'm excited for the next chapter! :D

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Review #23, by LululunaWhen The Storm Breaks: What Might Have Been Lost

3rd August 2014:
Hi Lia! I'm finally here with your review from TGS, I'm so sorry for taking this long! Usually I do a lot better with being punctual with these things but RL has been awful this month.

I read Sense and Sensibility years ago when I was too young to really appreciate Austen, but reading this and tying in all the characters to their inspirations is really cool. I wish there were more fanfics like this that adapt classical novels because the concept is really fascinating and it's amazing seeing how things can tie together in the HP world. Of course the story can't be exactly like the original Austen but I think the manipulations of the canon characters works quite well here.

I like how you keep that classical Austen feel: of country houses, inheritance, propriety, while blending it into the pre-Marauders era. It fits well with the strict structures of the traditional pureblood society, even though there are differences: like Lucius' mother insisting he get a job, which would be quite modern for a rich young aristocrat. I also liked how the story tied into the First Wizarding War timeline, particularly in the early chapters with the mention of Benjy Fenwick dying and the Death Eater attacks. Voldy seems more like a rising terrorist force than an actual threat to society, and I'm curious to see if Lucius joining up would become a further theme.

I love how you tied in the Black sisters with the girls from S&S. Bellatrix fits so well as being wild and spiritied, and her HP character is someone who entirely lacks sense and follows her wills and emotions. Andromeda is wonderful as well and I'm quite curious to see if Ted Tonks will appear as a suitor and whether he will be the Willoughby or Colonel Brandon figure.

I can already tell that Lucius and Narcissa complement one another quite well, with how they're both at the head of the family, have suffered loss of a parent, and have a mature sense of responsibility. Siobhan complicates things too: I quite liked her and how well she understands Lucius, and her sort of lanky, unusual kind of beauty which he is attracted to. I can imagine her as the Lucy Steele character in that Lucius honouring his commitment to her (even if he doesn't love her anymore) and marrying her would be grounds for him to be disowned by his family if her blood status isn't good enough.

With regards to this individual chapter, I loved how you described the Black women waiting for their new guests to arrive. It was so ominous and tense, and showed how not only were they waiting for guests but also for their lives to change and to be driven out of the lives they thought they had. It's quite tragic in a way. The decadence and need to show off possessions and wealth came across as well in the concentration of how they would be presented.

I really enjoyed reading this, and will add it to my favourites to keep an eye out for updates. It's a really neat story, and your writing does an excellent job of bringing the AU world to life and making it engrossing. Great work! :)

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Review #24, by LululunaI'll Never Let You Have Her: Things Could Have Been Different

29th July 2014:
Hi Tammi! :) Here for the Slytherin Review Exchange!!

So I enjoyed this so much and kept reading until the latest chapter, and now I'm super excited for the next one! :) I haven't read the first novel in this series (yet) but I have this odd love for reading sequels before I read the first book. It's interesting because the characters are already developed and then I can look forward to seeing the pieces come together when reading the prequel! :P

Ahem...anyway. :P So I really love this. I think, first of all, that you're writing a teen pregnancy story from the male point of view and showing how the mother, not the father, was the one to abandon the child is such an original idea. In one of my classes last year we were looking at how female abandonment of children is far more taboo and socially rejected - as if because women are "natural caregivers" they are criticized if they abandon their children. Meanwhile, stats show how more often than not fathers abandon their children and are not held accountable in the same way as women. It's quite interesting, and here you're showing an alternative and non-stereotypical family and I really like how you've developed Louis as a father and a single caregiver.

I can't wait for Freya to come back and how she'll confront Louis. I'm not sure how I feel about her, I mean in some ways she seems like the bad guy but I also feel like she just wasn't ready to have being a mother forced upon her when there were other options available. It's really sensitive what she should have done and I'm not even really sure how I feel about it. I know that if I was in her situation I would want the choice of whether to be a mother or not but Louis keeping Sam and raising her complicated that as opposed to if they had given her up for adoption. And I can see Louis' perspective as well with regards to being protective over Sam and not wanting Freya to be able to hurt them again.

Another unique aspect to the story is the Louis/Horatio romance, especially in this chapter. I guess when I read the prequel I'll find out how far the romance went then but they're so cute so far. It's great to see bisexual characters in fanfic as well and adding the secret love/best friend dynamic towards them. Horatio is a really fun character but I don't really approve of how he's playing Louis and Molly a bit right now - Louis doesn't need to have his heart toyed with at the moment with all his other responsibilities.

Rachel and Louis were so cute, I liked her excuse to sneak him away from the party and how quickly things escalated from former chapters. I'm not sure whether I want Louis to be with her or Horatio - or someone else - yet but I really like seeing how romance blends in and mixes with Louis' responsibilities as a father, especially in the last chapter. I'm looking forward to finding out more about Sam and her current anxieties, and of course Freya's return. In the meantime I'm putting ILHEFTBOU on my to-read list and can't wait! :D

One more thing to compliment you on: I feel like you have a strong talent for writing ordinary, everyday situations and making them both believable but incredibly interesting. I just mention this because I think it can be a rare talent and shows your skills as a storyteller and at creating characters.

Amazing story, Tammi!! I'm so excited to read more!! ♥

Author's Response: Hello!!

I'm so glad that you enjoyed my story, and wow! I'm hoping you can keep up with what's been happening. It's great that you read sequels first and it makes sense to read about already developed characters. :P

Haha, I'm so glad that you loved this. I'd never seen one from the fathers POV so I really wanted to write it, especially having the dad as the one who has to look after the baby. You're right, it's a taboo, but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen. My poor little Louis, I put him through so much.

Oh she's going to come back and bring a big change with her, she's about to rock Louis' entire world. *hugs him because I'm so mean to him* It's ok to not know how you feel about her, there's been a lot of hate for her so far. There's a lot of emotion between them all and they're trying to deal with it as best as they can.

Louis and Horatio wasn't even meant to be happening in the story, it wasn't until the readers started shipping them together that I became convinced that it was a good direction to go in. They were so close to each other and so fond/protective of each other that it wasn't even a massive leap to do. Horatio is playing a very dangerous game, and acting like his brother at the moment, Louis needs someone who's going to be there for him and Sam, which Horatio definitely will be. It's just whether or not he stays with Molly or Louis.

Sam is dealing with a lot of anxieties at the moment as though she can sense something coming.

Oh thank you so so much! You've seriously made my entire life! You're so kind and so amazing to me. I think I might cry in happiness. *hugs you so tight and never lets go*


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Review #25, by LululunaHouse of Cards: King of Hearts

12th July 2014:
Hola! :)

Honestly, these people need to hire some bodyguards or something because clearly this house is not safe and there is one, if not several, traitors in their midst. I'm not sure about the ending: if Alphard attacked Regulus, or if perhaps the potion he gave him just induced nightmares or pain or something which might cause him to scream. It seemed quite carefully worded so could go either way really.

Ah, so frustrating how Regulus couldn't explain what was going on in time! I'm so curious about who is committing all these murders and whether or not they will be brought to justice. Bella's accusation of Barty seems pretty far-fetched especially because Barty doesn't really have much motive to hurt his boyfriend other than being a bit mad.

And Sirius finally realizes about Barty and Reg! I liked how protective he was, just like any older sibling over a younger one, and I'm curious to see whether he'd be accepting of the relationship or not since I don't think he's the greatest fan of Barty. I wonder if perhaps Alphard is also gay which could lead to the distancing from the family - I really don't know how I feel about him since he's quite manipulative but also seems like he has good intentions -he's just as slimy as the rest of the really, but shows it in different ways.

Another suspenseful and exciting chapter! :D

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Hey Jenna! Thanks so much for dropping by! This was such a lovely surprise to get! :)

Haha, yeah, bodyguards would be a seriously good idea for them all! Though I think they'd rather they all died before that happened :P Sorry about that - it is meant to be confusing! Though Alphard didn't actually give Regulus the potion, just went towards him - sorry if that was unclear (I'll look over it again!).

Yeah, poor Regulus! He really does want to say something, and it really is important... he will eventually, don't worry! ;) Barty... depends on what you think of Barty, I guess, haha, but yeah, Bella may or may not be on the right track with that accusation :P

I have to admit, it was quite a difficult scene to write. One of my sisters is bi, which helped a bit, but it was just getting the right tone, you know, which was hard... haha, and yeah, he is more protective than he thinks he is and definitely wants to be - it's a shame because it kinda shows how rough their relationship is. Alphard... ooh, interesting theory ;) He is just as slimy, but his intentions.. well, they're not quite so bad as the rest of them, perhaps! :)

Thank you so so much for the great review - it was so so lovely to get, and such a great surprise! :)

Aph xx


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