Reading Reviews From Member: Lululuna
  
755 Reviews Found

Review #1, by LululunaMadly Smitten: Last Minute Surprises

28th February 2015:
Back again! :) I really enjoyed reading this story!

I think that Rose's encounter with Ezra really brought up some serious issues with the way that boys so often treat girls. I'm so glad she had the strength to stand up for herself, not everyone would have the courage to do that especially with a boy they had idealized to that extent. I thought you wrote that whole scene so nicely with Rose feeling uncomfortable and telling Ezra off.

I think that the story's ending with the promise of a date and something of a future was just perfect. It ended on a positive note but without them moving too fast, just slowly realizing that they liked each other. With the stressful experience with Ezra just behind her, Rose wouldn't be ready to jump into Scorpius' arms, but I loved the sweet and friendly ending with the kiss on the cheek.

This was such an unconventional Valentine's Day story, but that was what I liked about it. The characters felt really real and likeable (well, except for Ezra...) and I really connected with them. Great work! :)

 Report Review

Review #2, by LululunaMadly Smitten: Unexpected Conversations

28th February 2015:
Hi again! :)

Well, there goes my sweatpants suggestion out the window. :P I don't really blame Rose, though.

Honestly her sending Ezra those secret notes is pretty brave. I can definitely see how she fits into Gryffindor and tries to get out there and do what she wants without worrying about the consequences, which is something to be admired.

Hehe, Scorpius definitely likes her, but just has no clue how to talk to her nicely. Poor kid.

I loved the dancing scene! I've never been to that sort of dance but you make it sound so exciting here, if slightly awkward for Rose since she doesn't know how.

Ugh, Ezra. So much happened in this chapter, from showing how Rose doesn't really know him at all and has just idealized him, to how blind-sided she is by his offer. I really hope that she sees the flaw in the plan in that he's a jerk and tells him off. She's so outspoken and brave anyway so I feel like she'd do a good job of it.

Another great chapter! :D

 Report Review

Review #3, by LululunaMadly Smitten: Slips of Parchment

28th February 2015:
Hello! :) Here for the Slytherin review exchange!

Hehe, I love the situation with the teacher setting them up on dates. It has the potential to be really entertaining and I suspect Professor Murphy is excited about the chaos and drama that will ensue.

Rose is a really great main character so far. I like how she's quite cynical, but also has that slightly shallow side where she thinks that Ezra is attractive and therefore likes him despite him being a bit of a jerk. I think that's definitely relatable but I'm suspecting that as the story goes on she'll begin to notice Ezra's true colours a little more. I loved how sassy she was with Scorpius and how she stood up for herself.

Ah, Scorpius. Hmm, I wasn't too impressed with his comments about Rose needing to look good as it was quite condescending, but I'm thinking that he might be a bit shy and awkward himself and is maybe trying to compensate by being rude in order to get the upper hand? That was the kind of vibe I got from him, that he knows how to push Rose's buttons and is doing so as a sort of defence mechanism and to get a rise out of her, which definitely works. I kinda hope she wears sweatpants to the dance just to spite him, hehe. :P

This was a really fun first chapter and I'm looking forward to see how it all unrolls! Onto the next chapter!

 Report Review

Review #4, by LululunaGetting Out Alive: Daddy Dearest (An Example of Desperation)

15th February 2015:
Hey Mae! This is actually for your hot seat tenure, and Iím sorry for being so late! The last few weeks have been the worst and I never have time to check HPFF, bleergh. :P Anyway, I really like this story and since the later chapters have fewer reviews I felt it might be helpful to keep reading and give a big review at the end.

First of all, I really like the relationship between Jaylen and Hudson and how goofy they are together. Hudson seems like heís so easy to laugh at too, which are the funnest people to have around.

I also love Jaylenís family dynamics, and they do seem quite unique for the regular fanfic-verse. Somehow I never seem to read about single-parent families and itís really refreshing to see a story that reflects real life quite nicely. The counter-part creator does sound like a bit of a jerk though, especially with not warning her about being a wizard. I also love how Jaylen is Jewish! Yay! Itís so true how people keep forgetting that she doesnít celebrate Christmas, Iím sure Iíve done that before with my Jewish friends and then felt silly after for failing to remember.

I feel like Ash and Hudson not really being friends with each other but being friends with Jaylen is quite realistic as well. Actually this is something I notice a lot in your stories: the characters are really relatable and always seem to reflect true life, hehe. Definitely makes me connect to them! But, Iím also thinking that maybe Ash and Hudson get along better than Jay thinks, and they just get a kick out of the bickering.

Also, Circe is a great name for a wizardís cat!

Hudsonís line about Dalton taking six hours to find Jay made me laugh. After all itís not as if the train is that large or deceptive, hehe.

Ooh, so Hermione divorced Ron? Very interesting, Iím curious about who her new husband is. I also like how she kept her last name as that feels very Hermione-ish to me.

Aw, I felt bad for Sara when Jaylen wrote that mean note to her. It reminds me a bit of how people treated Hermione when she was at Hogwarts. The scene with Professor Binns was really interesting as Iíve always wondered about him and been curious to read more stories involving him.

Hmm, interesting that thereís only one openly gay student at Hogwarts! Seems kind of regressive for modern times, but I suppose that Hogwarts can be a little behind. It made me sad too how Jaylen thought that being queer is such a bad thing to have said about Joleen, but I guess the way that they all seem so wary of being gay could explain why people might not be comfortable coming out.

It was great getting to know Jo a bit better in the fourth chapter. She definitely seems like a really vibrant character and a lot of fun to read about, especially since she puts Jay out of her comfort zone a little bit.

Itís interesting how Jay doesnít really seem interested in kissing Dalton. I wonder if itís mainly nerves and doubts since she hasnít seen her mother in a healthy relationship, or if sheís honestly just not physically interested in him. Itís definitely an original take on a relationship and itís interesting seeing her negotiate those feelings.

I feel like there have been some hints that Jay's father might be Ron, especially with the mentions of Hermione being divorced and how Jo compared her to Rose. Hmm, very curious.

Iím really enjoying this story, Mae! Great job! :)

 Report Review

Review #5, by LululunaThe Worst: Settling

4th February 2015:
Hi again! :)

Ooh, off topic but that chapter image is amazing!

The beginning passage was so well written. I really liked how the scene was set externally from Dom originally, it really made it suspenseful and even more tragic at how isolated she is in her pain. I think that turning into another creature would really be such a strange, disturbing experience and you really did a good job of showing that here.

I also thought the descriptions of the morning after her transformation were great and showed what a horrific situation it is. In the HP books Lupin really clearly shows the physical affects and I liked how it affected Dom so much as well, it felt very true to canon.

It's nice that Dom's family and friends are there to support her, though. I think she has very good points about how her and Teddy have grown apart, and while perhaps they still have a chance at making things work since they still love one another, I still think he needs to see that her rejection of the proposal is about where she is in life more than anything. While I can sort of see where he's coming from, he still definitely owes her an apology, in my book. :P

Ah, I'm trying to remember who Dale is but I'm not positive. Hmm. Potentially he's linked to journalism, or some sort of werewolf research?

I didn't think this was a filler chapter at all, particularly with the first section. I really enjoyed it! :)

Author's Response: Hey there! Aha all credit goes to the lovely TDA artist who made the fabulous image, but thank you!

I am happy you liked the way I started the scene externally - it was something I decided on after a little debate with myself.

I added in the descriptions of the aftermath later (after writing the first draft) so it's a huge relief to know they work well with the plot and Dom.

Dom's family and friends are always by her and the main point of this story is to show that she can overcome "the worst" with her loved ones by her side, so I'm happy you liked that bit too. Teddy definitely owes her an apology, and Dom owes him an explanation. Both have stuff to talk about!

As for Dale, we'll see in the next chapter =) Thank you!


 Report Review

Review #6, by LululunaThe Worst: It Is Time

4th February 2015:
Hello!! :) Here for your Hot Seat review, and it's great to get back to Dom's story!

I was so intrigued about this chapter and the moment when she would finally turn into a werewolf. After all, these transformations are going to really affect her life and the first one of those is so important. It was really interesting seeing her prepare mentally and physically - I'm glad Hermione was organized to help take care of her!

I agree with Dom that Teddy is being very selfish. Gah, he annoyed me so much in this chapter. :P He's making it completely about him when she's about to go through a further trauma, it really doesn't seem fair. He's acting like a brat. :P

I really liked the description at the end, and how vivid and ominous it was. Poor Dom, I really do connect with her and feel bad for what she has to go through. I think you did a great job of highlighting the isolation and loneliness of her transformation: it's really something that she's been forced to face on her own.

This was a really interesting chapter! :D Great job!

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing! I am pleased you liked this chapter. Aha Hermione is always the rational person!

Teddy is being a bit selfish, that's true. We'll explore more of his attitude in the next chapters.

I am pleased you liked the descriptions too and that you can connect with Dom. Thank you!


 Report Review

Review #7, by LululunaSomebody to Die For: I Will Let the Devil Know

1st February 2015:
Hey Sam! :D Sorry for being so late with your review, I started it last night but got called away. :(

Whoa, so this story is so exciting and really beautifully written. I was confused, but in a good way: even if I didn't understand exactly what was going on at all points, I got the gist enough to understand. The method of having a non-chronological story worked quite nicely for this one since Theo's life itself has become almost cyclical since he's trapped as a vampire, so it fit to have all the memories blurring together.

I think you did an impressive job of showing-not-telling here. Especially with the first scene: we're launched right into the action without any explanation, but it all makes sense and is all the more mysterious for that fact. Throughout the story things were revealed so naturally while still making the reader work a bit to figure things out. For example, I'm not sure you ever said explicitly that Theo was a vampire, but it was really clear throughout. There were so many facts that were alluded to instead of outright explained, and that was a really neat reading experience.

I really loved the first section and how powerfully it was written. I loved this line: The heady scent of sweat, blood and other bodily fluids intoxicate him. The concentration on bodily fluids was so effective in conveying how conscious Theo is of bodies and his interaction with them, gruesome as it may be. Also the line about looks many would kill for made me laugh because it seemed to be foreshadowing the guy's fate. :P

Theo/Harry is such an interesting pairing, even though it was more alluded to here than outright explained. I liked how Harry was portrayed as this faithful, stoic figure whom many people trust, it fits well with people's perception of him from the books. Also, the mention of the invisibility cloak was great in showing how well Theo knew Harry, as well as showing off his vampiric abilities.:P

The last two lines were perfect. I loved the symbolism of the posters as representing Theo's true immortality, and it also dehumanized Theo a bit. At least, it showed how Theo doesn't really think of himself as a human anymore. Another factor in showing how Theo has changed from his human identity is how during his POV sections, his name was never really mentioned. It was a neat stylistic choice in showing how his old identity with a name is removed from his new, nameless, lonely one as a vampire.

Amazing story, Sam! ♥

Author's Response: Hello!

Yes! I'm so happy that that was how you saw it. Since Theo is stuck as a vampire, it's like his life can't move forward and everything is just blurred together as one. It's harder to explain it than it was to right it, actually; I just wrote the scenes down as they came to me and ended up keeping them as they were. :P

Yeah, while I mentioned vampires a lot, and I did mention Theo being turned, I didn't outright put his name and vampire together, not even when I referred to Harry telling the others what Theo was. It's like he knows what he is, but he doesn't want to admit it out loud.

Foreshadowing for the win. ;) But it was more irony, I think; it's Theo who has looks many would kill for, and yet he's the one not-quite-killing.

Theo/Harry is my OTP. I just love them. In my headcanon, Theo is in love with Harry, and then they meet. But in this he's turned, so just when he's getting to know Harry as a person rather than someone he watches from a distance he's ripped from it and has to send Harry away. You can imagine how I felt about that. :P

He definitely doesn't consider himself human anymore and his name was apart of his human life. That's why it's never said in his PoVs.

Thank you so much for choosing this story to leave a review on. I was beginning to think no one liked it. :P

Sam.


 Report Review

Review #8, by LululunaChai, Zebras, and a Friend in the Wee Hours of the Morning: Chai, Zebras, and a Surprise

29th January 2015:
Hey 800! :D Sorry for being so late with your Hot Seat review! :) I was so excited to get back to this series though, and hopefully I'll get to read the next two stories soon!

I love how you continued to focus on Neville and Hannah in different circumstances, but similar situations. It's a really neat way to frame the story in how it happens in such an enclosed amount of time, yet we learn so much about the characters and their relationship.

Something very clear here is how nicely the two of them get along. They clearly have this natural companionship which makes me think that they'd get along so well as life partners. Not that there's anything wrong with the classic love/hate relationships that I read so often, but it's nice to see people genuinely getting along and showing how compatible they are and setting the foundations for a great longterm relationship.

I really liked the story about Atticus and how important he was to Neville. It felt like he was a bit of a father figure for Neville, and although he had his grandmother I'm sure the loss of his parents would have left him feeling like he didn't have good role models like his other friends. I found that his feelings of self-doubt were so realistic with the Neville from canon, but also showed how much he's grown as a person and in his own self-confidence. It was lovely how Hannah was able to comfort him.

The description of how she makes chai tea was so neat! I'm a big fan of descriptions like that, it almost felt like a recipe, and it's a real sign of good writing. The zebra cake sounded delicious as well.

I thought the last lines were a really great way to round off the story and make it feel complete, while still promising more in the future. This was such a great instalment, this series is just lovely! :)

Author's Response: No worries! I'm slow in my replies so I guess that evens out ^.^

That was an interesting aspect of this series actually. I didn't initially intend to set them all in kitchens, but then I wrote this one, and it ended up being in a kitchen. So I kind of rolled with it. But I'm glad it worked out, haha!

These two are the most compatible couple I've ever written. Every aspect about which I've written about concerning these two complements each other. It's strange. The two characters are so separate in my head, but they magically work with each other despite that. They were meant to be :P And love/hate relationships are great too but I've written SO MANY of them.

Yeah... I never explicitly state what kind of Neville and Atticus shared. I imagine it's somewhere between father figure, mentor, and friend. I'm pleased that it comes across. My writing is not known for its subtlety! You're absolutely right in saying that Neville lacked those role models that other characters had, especially his greatest comparison: Harry. It was part of the reason that I wanted to show that Neville now surrounds himself with people who understand and support him in his adult life.

This is only the second time I've written descriptions like this - basically recipes masquerading as descriptive prose... like edible descriptive ninjas. I'm pleased it worked for you :)

Thanks so much for your lovely review, Jenna :)


 Report Review

Review #9, by LululunaThe Ides of March: A star riding through clouds.

26th January 2015:
Hi Kiana! :D Woohoo I'm so excited to read and review this story because it has so much of what I love best - history, founders, drama, lurve and your beautiful writing!!

And wow, the writing here is truly spectacular, Kiana. It's both ornate yet natural for Helena and I really felt like I was soaking up every word. I think the use of "you" throughout really enhanced that because it made it feel like reading a love poem and reminded me of the way poetry was written so often back in the day.

I like how right away, Helena uses the word "sickening." In some ways I feel like she says it because she feels that she is sinning, but more importantly it shows the unhealthy nature of her obsessive love. Her emotions are so strong that they make her sick and that definitely has dangerous potential and even hints to her eventual bloody end.

I love the focus on religion as well, it definitely makes sense that wizards would have been interested in religion at the time. Also, I liked how religion was an issue of contempt between Helena and her mother, since it tends to be so divisive even today. It was neat how she bonded with religion originally because it reminded her of her father, and I liked how she romanticized these ideas about him and how her life might be different if her father was alive. I felt so bad though when she thought that even her father must have liked Eleanor better because it shows how she really has no sense of self worth.

This is such an interesting take on Helena with how she feels like an outcast and like she's not good enough. It fits really well with her ghostly portrayal in canon and I'm excited to see it get to that point.

I do feel like Eleanor seems a bit manipulative of Helena, and I'm worried about how it will play-out because the relationship is in danger of being one-sided: especially considering how obsessed Helena is. I'm sure that either way, the story is going to end tragically.

This was so beautifully written, Kiana, and I'm so excited to keep reading! :D

Author's Response: Hey Jenna! :D

Aw, thank you so much! I really enjoyed writing this because the story meant I could be all elaborate with my descriptions without it being weird, so I'm so glad that you liked it too!

Helena definitely does have a very negative view towards her love in this chapter but I guess as she's the only one who knows about it, and has no one to confide about it with, it becomes all-consuming so she doesn't know if it's right or wrong anymore.

I'm glad that you liked it as I always did think that the Founders era characters would be more religiously inclined than other ones. I know, Helena really doesn't have any confidence and it does make me wonder what she would have been like if her father was still alive, I think probably a lot more sure of herself as she wouldn't just be under Rowena's control.

I'm glad that you liked the whole outcast take, as Ravenclaws always do seem to be quite odd and more prone to the loner stereotype than other houses.

Hmm, hmm, hmm, I can't really comment about how Eleanor will be in the rest of the story but you definitely are right about it being tragic but I suppose that's quite natural given how Helena is a ghost in the books. :P

Thanks for this amazing review, Jenna! ♥

-Kiana


 Report Review

Review #10, by LululunaJigsaw: Piece #8

23rd January 2015:
Hey Sian! :D (Aw, thanks for the shout out! I will pester you to update any time you wish :P)

It was really great to get to meet Fred properly and to see more of the family dynamics between them. I think your portrayal of him is so unique, he's often portrayed in fanfic as this joker sidekick prankster guy so seeing him more uptight and sensitive is really interesting. I also loved the interaction between all the family members, from George getting involving when he means business, to the way that Roxy is trying to keep the peace and not get visibly upset even though she is. Fred really is being so unfair and almost slandering her to her parents when they should hear the story of the breakup from her is just a low blow.

I'm glad Angelina and George stood up for Rox, however! They do seem like really good parents. I also liked the detail about George being the cook in the family, I always imagine all of Molly Weasley's kids knowing their way around a kitchen. :P

(Sidebar: I've been binge-watching Downton Abbey and just wrote that last paragraph in Mrs. Patmore's voice for some reason. Ahem. Anyway...)

I also thought it was really poignant when Rox mentioned how her father cared a lot about family, especially after the losses during the war. It shows how empathetic she is in understanding what her dad might be thinking. She really is such a thoughtful and observant person.

I still have no new ideas about the disappearances, but it's interesting how Roxy is re-visiting the blood status argument. It makes me think that although it felt wrong to even consider those prejudices still exist, sometimes they do have to face them. I still think it has something at least to do with the technology business, though. Sort of because from what we've seen of the criminals, they seem more politically/economically motivated than ideology-motivated.

For the last scene, I'm kind of suspecting right now that the dark-haired man is Fred. If he's dealing some strange drug it might explain why he was in Knockturn Alley, and maybe he's taking it too which could explain why he's been acting so angry and emotional.

As for the green eyed girl... hmm, I feel like that should be a clue. Miranda? I'll have to go back and investigate who has green eyes. Unless it's Harry or Albus disguised as a woman or something, haha, since they have green eyes.

Another superbly written chapter, Sian! :D I'm excited for the next one!! ♥

 Report Review

Review #11, by LululunaJigsaw: Piece #7

15th January 2015:
Hello! :D Finally caught up, yay!! :)

This was such an eventful chapter! I'm so curious about what happened with Armstrong and why he was killed since we didn't get insight into the kidnappers this time. The scene at the end was so tantalizing. Hmm, I'm wondering if maybe they're attacking and kidnapping powerful wizards for the sake of possibly impersonating them, but maybe Armstrong's disappearance got too public before they could replace him with an impersonator or something. Then the reason why Miss Abbott wasn't supposed to say that he was missing could be because his co-workers were behind it or something, I'm not sure. :P This theory probably makes no sense, haha. I don't know what to make about the T on his hand.

I liked meeting Dom, she seems very down to earth and likable. The news about Victoire being a bridezilla made me laugh. :P

It was cute how Roxy and Daniel got to go to work together, even though their careers are separate. :P I also liked how predatory the press are with getting their stories and how clearly irritated the Hit Wizards get. I liked how you mentioned needing to Obliviate the Muggles and how they feel a bit uneasy about having to do it because it definitely is invasive and a bit unfair for the Muggles.

At first I wondered if Richard might actually be a vampire, but now he seems to be showing more werewolf symptoms. I'll have to wait and see on that one, haha.

So excited to finally say: can't wait until the next update! :D I'm really loving this story, Sian! ♥

 Report Review

Review #12, by LululunaKaleidoscope Love: Oh Comely

15th January 2015:
Hey Joey! :) Here for the Hot Seat and I'm so glad I get the chance to review some of your work after all the love you showered on mine during Secret Santa! :D

I liked how the use of the song was really subtle here and really fit in with dividing up the sections of the story. I listened to it while reading and it made me feel a little bittersweet, but also happy about being bittersweet, if that makes sense? It fit the mood of the story so nicely and I thought placement of the lyrics that you chose were just perfect for the pairing.

Both Anthony and Ernie were so perfectly characterized here and so much fun to read about. I liked how at first Anthony has this idealized idea of Ernie, which seems realistic for when we have crushes and don't really know the person yet. It was neat too how the DA kind of brings him out of this Ravenclaw-centric world to make connections with the other houses and I feel like he grows up and widens his perspective on life and his place in the world throughout the story. His voice, with all the complex sentences and elongated thoughts, was very formal and yet easy for me to connect with because it felt like he really enjoyed just playing with words and phrases.

(Also this makes me want to ship Anthony/Ernie in The Girl from Slytherin but I already have a boyfriend in mind for him grrr :P)

ďAh, but donít we all?Ē he mused. ďWhat else are we to make of our convenient house system that totally wasnít designed to help us prematurely judge people more efficiently?Ē This made me laugh out loud because he's just so pompous and annoying that it's endearing. At least, I'm glad Anthony finds him endearing, and Anthony himself is kind of wordy and analytical in a way and it's great how they kind of connect through that. It was fun hearing them talk about house stereotypes, especially about the free hugs, hehe.

I was certain at the end that you were going to break my heart by having one of them die in the Battle of Hogwarts but I'm so happy that wasn't the case and they lived happily ever after. The word kaleidoscope was so perfect and really tied the whole story together as a whole, giving it this finished finesse that really made it feel complete and satisfying.

This was a really great one-shot, and I'm so glad I got to read it! :D Really lovely job! ♥

Author's Response: Hi Jenna! It's so awesome seeing your name pop up in my unanswered reviews because obviously I'm a huge fan of yours. In fact, I'm not sure I would have even attempted to write in this era if I wouldn't have read TGFS and realized how interesting this part of canon can be from a minor character's point of view.

I'm really glad you noticed how I used the song in the place of what would have been a page break! I definitely wanted to use the song in a meaningful way, rather than just kind of throwing it into the story at random. And you listened to the song while reading!! That actually means a lot to me because I spent way too long (like, weeks) into choosing it and making sure that it made sense with the story. So, it's cool that someone opted to go for the 'full experience' so to speak.

I always thought that the DA was such a cool idea just because there's really not enough cross-house friendships in canon until that point for me. I think that all of a sudden spending so much time with people outside of the little bubble of your house would definitely lead to some unexpected friendships.

And can I tell you, I am so glad that the language doesn't come off as pretentious or annoying. It makes me really happy that you felt you could connect with him, even with all of the formal speak.

That would have been so awesome if you shipped this ship, but I'm pretty sure whatever you have in mind will be great and I can't wait to find out who it is!

That is exactly the balance I was trying to strike. Pompous, but endearing isn't too far from what my friends say about me, so maybe it wasn't all that difficult for me :P

I thought about having one of them die, but I wasn't sure I could do justice to that kind of sadness in words. Also, dying at the end of my stories is sort of a recurring theme, so I wanted to throw a curveball where everyone actually survives.

Thank you so much for this review!


 Report Review

Review #13, by LululunaJigsaw: Piece #6

12th January 2015:
Hiii!! :D

The technology is still so new that itís extremely expensive, with prices that Daniel could hardly believe when he compared them to those in the Muggle world. If it wasnít for my job at the Prophet, which comes with a company phone, I wouldnít be able to afford one either. Ooh does this have something to do with the mystery? Maybe the kidnappers are against the Muggle technology, or want to take over the company or something since itís so wealthy? The way that Roxy keeps pointing out how much Muggle culture influences wizarding culture makes me think increasingly that it must be significant.

Aggie is so funny, but I feel bad for Jane that she has to work for her. :P

Okay I just have to mention this because it made me laugh but Chapters is the name of the largest bookstore chain here in Canada. Like, itís the Starbucks of Canadian bookstores in terms of the frequency with which it appears (ironically a lot of them actually have Starbucks in them). So when I read Chapters here where she said it was a ďMuggle cafťĒ I was like ďlol sweet little wizards, think Chapters is a little local cafť.Ē AND THEN I REALIZED that they must not have Chapters in England, which I never explicitly noticed when I was living there but it makes sense. :P So Iím not confused anymore, but I am still amused.

Ahem, anyway back to Daniel. I like how there are all the details about how awkward it is, like how theyíre awkward about not knowing who should pay. I feel like thatís such a common thing that couples do and to have to adjust to it after breaking up would be really disorienting.

Iím so glad Roxy got the chance to explain herself to Daniel! Itís good that theyíre taking things slow and seeing where they can go from there. I donít ship them too forcefully, because I feel like I donít quite trust him yet, but I do ship them tentatively for now, hehe.

This is such a minor detail but I loved the image of the old lady blushing through her powdered cheeks. It was just so neat and vibrant, I could really see it in my head.

Somehow Iím not sure the body is Armstrong, but luckily for me thereís one more chapter to read and find out! :D Yet another amazing chapter, Sian! :)

 Report Review

Review #14, by LululunaJigsaw: Piece #5

12th January 2015:
Bonjour my belle!

Okay so you already know I loved the first few lines because they described my most beloved London. :P I like how the man calls the London eye a ďstrange Muggle wheelĒ too. It must be pretty odd for wizards.

I liked how the chapter began with Roxyís article! I didnít really suspect Upton anyway, but the fact that the kidnappers are going after the publicist, and not after Roxy, makes me think that they might not mind the press leading the public on a false trail. But now Iím worried that Upton himself will come after Roxy and try to curse her or sue her or something for publishing against him!

Ahh, we get to find out what happened with Daniel! Hearing Roxy tell the story Ė and knowing how honest she is Ė makes me angry with James and Fred for being so mean to her. Why should she stay in a relationship where her partner is being unexplicably rude and making her miserable? Although it does sound like perhaps he was going through something external from their relationship and was taking it out on Roxy. Hmm, I wonder if it has something to do with the case and these kidnappers going around Imperius-ing people?

Iím glad Lucy pointed out what I was thinking, how they were being unreasonable, and also decided to set things straight with their family as it is unfair of them not to at least listen to Roxyís side of the story. Lucy seems so great and supportive, itís awesome to see her in Roxyís corner while also helping Roxy understand their cousinsí behaviour.

Another awesome chapter and I'm so glad my curiosity has been satiated for now! ♥

 Report Review

Review #15, by LululunaJigsaw: Piece #4

12th January 2015:
Hey hey!! (Itís hard finding a new exciting way to start each review without being too much of a broken record, haha).

Ah, poor Roxy, trying to get a good interview. Archie seems really sweet though, I like how Roxy was able to convince him to speak with her by being sneaky and saying her full name. Itís probably a good thing she said she was a journalist too because she could possibly get in trouble for libel or something if she lied and put it in a story. I also like how both Archie and Marius really fit their names somehow, where Archie seems like a bouncy, happy name and Marius is more mysterious and moody, haha.

Using a Pensieve for interviews is brilliant! Iím so mad that the equivalent doesnít exist in the Muggle world! :P (though I guess we do have tape recordersÖ). Oh, a quick note about Roxy not revealing her sources though, I know in my journalism classes at least theyíre really iffy about anonymous sources, i.e. if we use one in even an assignment we get marks taken off because theyíre not as credible and are supposed to have a really good reason for being anonymous. So maybe if Roxy gave a specific reason (like the fact that Armstrong was murdered), and cited in her interview that the sources preferred not to be named it would be super realistic? Just a thought because she might have gotten some trouble from the boss about promising not to use her sourcesí names. :P

Aw, poor captive. Iím assuming the captive is Armstrong, though for all I know he wasnít named, so he could even be one of the kidnappers potentially. That scene was so intense and exciting. I also noticed how the first time he appeared, they cast the first Unforgivable curse, and the second time, the second UnforgivableÖ does Roxy have to help find him before they cast the third one?! Am I reading too much into this pattern?!

Haha, I can totally imagine Ron making fun of George for going a bit bald. :P Although Iím sure George would return the favour. I giggled at how he was ďthreateningĒ the poor sales boy. And Verity got a mention!!! YAY!!!

Iím glad that George can talk about Fred and laugh. It definitely seems like the best way to honour Fredís memory is by remembering how fun he was.

Hmm. My suspects so far areÖStephen, because this nervous thing could be all an actÖthe garden gnomes from the frist chapterÖand Fred, because heís being shady. Clearly you can tell that I really have no good suspects right now and I should not be an Auror, ever. :P

Awesome chapter, Sian!

Oh! I just realized something else! What if the chapter titles mean that there is a "piece" of the puzzle inside each chapter, like one specific detail that will lead to the truth? I really have no clue yet what those could be, though. Hmm. Maybe not such a great theory after all. :P

 Report Review

Review #16, by LululunaJigsaw: Piece #3

12th January 2015:
Hola!! ☺

Iím glad Andy told Miranda off for being mean to Roxy, and he did it in a really sneaky way too by bringing up actual facts and using them against her. Definitely a sign that heís another good journalist. :P

Iím liking Violet more and more. Itís really neat how she uses Muggle comparisons to explain things, and I liked learning about her take on press conferences.

I love how even though Roxy herself is a journalist, she still sees some journalists as feeding on gossip, like her and Lily not speaking. Ah, Iím still so curious about Daniel and what happened to have so many of Roxyís own family turn against her! I like how Lily can still be happy for Roxanne, though, and itís really relatable for whne people are in arguments with their family members but still love them. This story just feels so real!

Ugh, Jensen. I hate him already, especially with how heís trying to manipulate Roxy by acting interested in her. Although I do think his theory, though not phrased with sensitivity, is probably something that people would think of in the wake of the war. Iím wondering if the dismissal of his theory of the motive involving blood status is maybe a red herring to get the reader off that track, hmm.

My tentative theory at this point in the story is that it has something to do with his job and Muggle technology coming into the wizarding world, but Iím not sure yet. :P

I'm really excited to learn more about Fred and what he's up to! He seems a little too oblivious right now...possibly under the Imperius Curse since he doesn't hear Roxy calling him? Just more speculating, I really have no clue. :P

This was another really great chapter, Sian! :D

 Report Review

Review #17, by LululunaJigsaw: Piece #2

12th January 2015:
Hello again! :D

I have a talent for remembering names and faces that my family cannot comprehend, and there have been multiple awkward occasions when Iíve spoken to someone who doesnít have a clue who I am. Oh my, THIS. I can totally relate so much, hehe. Although it's also happened to me where I'm not wearing my glasses and legitimately mistake a stranger for a friend. :P But this is also a great example of her journalism skills showing through!

Richard seems interesting! I like how he's kind of set up to be a bit of a shady character, between being a Parkinson, drinking heavily and having yellow teeth (for some reason this reminds me of bad character traits). But the fact that he's a friendly acquaintance who Roxy enjoys speaking with makes him very unique and curious.

I really like Andy's case about the smallest detail making a story stand out, and it's so true. The descriptions of the elite journalists is really realistic, but also shows how as an outsider Roxanne might have a leg up in finding an angle that goes against the mainstream.

Speaking of details, there are many here which I found really effective in making Roxy's job really believable and relatable. For example, the point about questioning the family and how it's both sensitive, but also something that journalists are supposed to do. I thought Roxy's conflict over that was really relatable, and loved how she mentioned her parents and how they would feel.

Hmm, so Malcolm worked at Conjuring Communications? And the Aurors are unusually interested even though he hasn't been gone for long? Already there are many seeds of clues which I am trying desperately to piece together. :P I love how you mentioned the phones and Conjuring Communications in the last chapter too, and how it resurfaces in this chapter. Hmm.

I already don't really like Daniel, because he seems really angry and bitter. But then again, there are two sides to every story. I wonder if maybe Roxy cheated on him, or maybe she used him to try and get a story, even if she didn't realize it at the time? Neither really seems like something she would do but it does seem like she did something to make him feel justified in being angry with her. I'm so curious! You've done an amazing job with already building this whole complex world with a full cast of characters in only a couple chapters.

This was another exciting chapter, and the plot is moving along at a really well-written pace! :) I'm excited to keep reading!

 Report Review

Review #18, by LululunaJigsaw: Piece #1

12th January 2015:
Hey Sian! :D I read this chapter so long ago but kept getting distracted when I started to review, ugh. But I really love this story and can't wait to catch up with it and review all the chapters, woohoo! :)

The beginning was so exciting and I love how you jumped right into the action of the mystery. It's also really interesting how the expectation is reversed. I expected the spell to be "Avada Kedavra" because that's what tends to happen when dark wizards come calling, but the fact that it was "Imperio" means that I'll be second-guessing all the characters in trying to figure out who it could be and who is actually acting in their right mind.

Can I just say that Violet Toots is an excellent name? :P And haha, so true that Muggles have way more sports than wizards do, seriously. I love how yoga was mentioned as one of those sports too, because yoga is awesome!

I really love Roxy already. She's very relatable, with how she feels like she isn't accomplishing everything she wants to, and is both bored and embarrassed with her articles. Although I will say that garden gnomes invading a town does seem quite amusing. :PI also liked how she's very down-to-earth, like not being tempted into gossiping about Miranda because she suspects that they gossip about her. It shows her character really well in how she can see the bigger picture that way and not want to engage in mean behaviour, even though she doesn't like Miranda. She feels very mature and observant.

It's really interesting how the wizards have adapted Muggle phones and are making use of them. That's very creative but also makes sense, as they would be a lot more convenient than owls or Patronuses (Patroni?).

Aw, Bob! He's so sweet! I'm glad Roxanne is his friend. :)

I loved the description of the pub and the way the girls make time to meet up every week. It's definitely relatable that it's tricky to stay in touch sometimes, even when friends live in the same city.

You did a great job stirring up suspense about Daniel here and what happened, and why Fred might be taking his side. I love how the family dynamics are already being mentioned as they really round Roxy out as a character and make me want to know everything about her!

It takes less than a second for the warm combination of alcohol and friendship to dissolve into an icy fear that takes hold of my insides and twists them, making me feel sick. This line was so amazing because it made me feel exactly the way Roxanne was feeling! I hate getting in trouble of any sort too so it was really relatable, I felt like I was right there with her. :P

Yay for Roxy! I love how she's a journalist who will be investigating the mystery, instead of an Auror or detective. It's a really neat perspective for solving a mystery, and I'm really excited to keep reading and find out what on earth is going on!

Great first chapter, Sian!! :D

 Report Review

Review #19, by LululunaDull Ache: Oblivion

4th January 2015:
Hi Rose! ♥

Wow, I just wanted to drop by and say that I read this and am sending so much love your way. I'm so sorry for your loss. This story was beautiful and powerful and heartbreaking, and I felt myself even more immersed in Andromeda's ordeal here because of your experience.

This story really made my heart hurt. It was really strong and immersive and I couldn't tear my eyes away. The structure of going back and forth between the past and present added a new layer of how her mind must be working.

I loved the name Elvis here and how the name was tied in with Ted's Muggle heritage. Throughout the story, the characters of both of them really shone through: the humour, the anger, the grief and the way they both face it in different ways. I felt like Andromeda's body being a constant physical reminder of her loss was very relatable and uniquely feminine.

Wow, that last line. It was such a unique contrast. I feel like when many people experience grief or trauma we wish we could have it removed from our memories, and the way that her body remembers even if her brain has been coaxed into forgetting was just beautiful. It gave a really interesting dimension to the first section as well, revealing how she had been Obliviated and while her brain didn't remember, her body tells her that something isn't right. The word "barren" to describe the room really emphasized that and shows how somehow, she still remembers. It was an amazing and heartbreaking twist.

Thank you so much for sharing this. ♥

Author's Response: Jenna!!

Thank you so much for stpping by and for the lovely review. I had the idea for this before my loss but I got the power to write it because I could so freshly relive those emotions and experiences.

I'm glad you liked them picking that name. I had to change a standing joke in Epitaph/HIKLM to make Tonks' body pillow named Elvis (because I had a living person's name before). I wanted that tie in with Tonks and her life. I was worried that their characterization was flat so it's nice to hear that their personalities came through with their experiences. I do find Andromeda's experience to be a piece of what is uniquely feminine and something a man could never experience or fully get.

One reason I'm glad you read this is that you connected the first and last sections. You really hit the nail on the head with how I hoped people would read the end/beginning.

thank you so much for reading and reviewing

xoxo


 Report Review

Review #20, by LululunaValentine's Day: Valentine's Day

4th January 2015:
Hello! :) I saw your post on the forums and read that ridiculous flame review. Geez, some people really need to get a life if all they have to do is troll and be mean on the internet. Ugh, it makes me mad that somebody left that nasty review. Hopefully you don't let it get to you!! ♥ Your writing is amazing!

Anyway I refused to let that be the only review on this story so once you report it this can be the first review instead. :D

This was such a neat take on a Valentines day and it really kept me guessing. I love the non-linear style of the story as well, it's so unique but I feel like it made the story all the stronger. The last section was so bittersweet because I already knew that it wouldn't be working out for them.

I loved the surprise line at the end of the first section, as well as the shock when it said that Ginny had been staying with Dean. I think you did a great job explaining how Ginny might be compelled to leave Harry: they were having problems before, and the trauma of the war would quite likely fracture their relationship in the long term as well. It was a really original take on their relationship and fit really nicely with the story.

I loved the writing in the last section. The intimacy between them was so beautifully written and I especially loved the line about their bare legs beneath the sheets. Lovely!

This was a great story and I really enjoyed how original and well-written it was! ♥

Author's Response: Aww! Thank you so much for coming to read my story! It was totally unnecessary but I really appreciate it.

I'm glad you liked the non-linear aspect of the story! That was the challenge, and I wanted to try to work it to my advantage so I am glad it worked!

I'm so glad that you understood what I was trying to do with their relationship. I am happy that it is apparent why Ginny would end up leaving Harry. I wanted to portray them as real as possible; sometimes these things just happen, you know? You are totally in love with someone one day and then as things progress you could fall out of love. Unfortunately that happens all the time. So I wanted to bring that realness to the HP universe. I'm glad you liked it!

Thank you so much for reading my story. You are so kind :)


 Report Review

Review #21, by LululunaDeath Eaters: Death Eaters

1st January 2015:
Hello! :) Here for your second of three prize reviews! :D

I couldn't resist this story, the summary and promise of darkness caught my eye. I'm always so impressed by micro fiction because I myself am awful at it so I'm really impressed with what you've accomplished here!

I'll go through for each character!

Regulus: Wow, I love how much emotion and foreshadowing was in his section. It really showed his self-loathing and doubt as rationale for his eventual betrayal of Voldemort, and the last line was just chilling as we all know what happens to him. It was so interesting to refer to him as "exploding" and made it seem like his sacrifice wasn't necessarily rational, but an inevitable build-up of guilt and hate.

Narcissa: I loved the line about Ted having the "kindest of eyes" &hearts. The connections between the Black sisters always fascinated me and I liked how you showed Andromeda as Narcissi's protector, but Narcissa as inherently selfish and not being able to see beyond her own limitations. It seemed like Narcissa wasn't strong enough to shift into that role of protector which causes her to retract into that babyish role. Very interesting considering how she eventually becomes the protector for Draco and is such a strong maternal character. This got me thinking how perhaps her fierce protection for Draco stems from her memories of Andromeda, and a desire to prove that she, too, can protect her loved ones. Very cool! :) I love stories that really get me thinking.

Rosier: Wow. That line about the children was really difficult to read. It was beautifully written, but heart wrenching and made me so angry for those poor unnamed victims. That's a real sign of powerful writing!

Greyback: This section was so interesting in showing how Greenback is motivated by revenge and wants to achieve self-worth. I felt that perhaps he himself is insecure and so he even needs to prove to himself that he is great, even if he knows that he is being evil or at least breaking the rules of the society. That was a really interesting interpretation in making him more sympathetic while still hating him.

Snape: This section was both creepy and sweet, but perhaps I'm a bit prejudiced against Snape already. :P I think you did a really good job with having his voice be distinct from the others. The form and language seemed to shift a little bit to show how he was unique among them. I really loved the image of Lily with a flower, and how she's associated with light. :)

Rabastan: Ah! Emmeline makes an appearance!! I loved this section and getting Rabastan's POV and really showing what a jerk he is. This section was mysterious, but kind of seemed like it was suggesting that he was using Legilimency on Emmeline to impress Voldemort, or at least showing off how he could manipulate Emmeline and perhaps other people in the future. It was such an interesting way to show their relationship from his view. It made me sad how he called her stupid and selfish but also excited at how she managed to break free from him. Really shows what a manipulative, patronizing man he is and adds some new insight into the Emmeline series.

This was a really great series that I loved reading and analyzing, as you can probably see. :P Sometimes I get a little carried away, hehe. Great job! :)

 Report Review

Review #22, by LululunaNow You've Seen: Now You've Seen

1st January 2015:
Hello there! :) I'm (finally) here for your first of three prize reviews for placing in the Beatles Challenge. I'm so sorry for taking this long to deliver your prize!

I actually read this story ages ago but didn't get around to reviewing. It's exciting to see how you took the song from the challenge and made another story out of it as well, and I love how this story built off of the first one and really took Emmeline further in her journey of self-discovery.

I love how the whole story reads almost like a song. I feel like Emmeline really is talking to me, but in a really soft, elegant way, and it gives a truly strong feeling of her character, like she's the sort who wants to explain herself both in her own mind and to others. She really evolved over the course of this story and it was beautiful to read about.

Peter, with his small words, that meant so much. I loved this line so much because it seemed to capture a pre-evil Peter perfectly. I love it when authors account for him and show that he was a valued member of the group, and the diction of "small words" fit him so well. It was such a great line and one that really was lovely to read.

My wand had collected an inch of dust, untouched in the back of my sock drawer. I thought this was a really strong, yet subtle way of showing to the reader how she separated herself from the magical world and was trying to put away a part of herself. Showing-not-telling is tricky to do in writing and you really nailed it with that line. :)

I would never change the world. But I had changed myself. This was such a great message for the story to end on. It shows, I think, how the idealistic way we think about changing the world isn't necessarily the way to go about it. Instead, changing our own position in that world and turning it into something positive is the way to enact good. It's a very wise idea, in a way, kind of like advocating for small change which will lead to bigger change in the long run. I don't know if that made any sense but I really liked the way Emmeline had evolved into this view of herself. :)

This was a wonderful sequel, and I really enjoyed reading it! :)

 Report Review

Review #23, by LululunaDivided: The Tale of the Hogwarts Founders: Chapter VII

1st January 2015:
Hi Kristin!! :D So excited to see this was updated!

I think you did a really great job here showing Salazar's descent into hatred and bitterness. It felt very authentic how he went from sort of an emotional resentment which, when triggered by his grief, turned into all-out manic hatred. At the same time, after the deaths he still preserves his image by hiding his hate and biding his time, and I think that trait is really emblematic of the ways that Slytherins can be sneaky in tucking away different parts of their lives and really succeeding through secrecy. As the founder of a whole house of people who exhibit and are even socialized to have certain traits, I think you've done an amazing job in creating a character who is both archetypal and yet absolutely unique and three-dimensional.

I feel like Salazar here is honestly become mad, or is so possessed by grief that he is mad in his single-mindedness. It's a little terrifying to read about actually because in a way, even though I know better, I could relate to his anger in wanting revenge because he's so heartbroken. I think it's a very human emotion we all border on sometimes, but he's enabled by his power and authority as well as his skills in secrecy.

It was interesting reading about his logic in deciding on the Basilisk, and I did giggle a moment at the image of Salazar crouching down and encouraging a toad to sit on a chicken egg and getting all excited when a little snake comes out. It's an amusing image for some reason.

As usual, the attention to historical detail here is so impressive. Including the stocks was so brilliant while also showing the general ignorance of people of the time. I felt really sad for Elaine and Morgan, they were innocent and reasonable people and deserved better, poor things. It was interesting to think to that even though people died young in those days all the time, the grief of the loss is still as poignant as ever. :(

Amazing chapter, Kristin! I'm excited for the next one! ♥

Author's Response: Eeep! It was so exciting to see this lovely review from you!! ♥

Gah, thank you so much! I'm so thrilled that you liked the portrayal of Salazar here and his descent into hatred/bitterness/madness, and that it felt authentic. It means so much to me that you see him as unique and three-dimensional here, and that you appreciate his tucking away his feelings in secret to present an image to the others.

I think there is an element of madness in him, yeah. And yes I'm so glad you said that about relating to him - that is exactly what I was hoping for - to explain his descent, not making excuses for him, but just to put people in his shoes for a bit as his grief and anger are very real, even if his coping mechanisms are flawed. So I'm really glad you could understand him in this, even though he was becoming fixated on his hatred.

Ahaha, that is a hilarious image to think of and I'm glad you shared it with me :D

Thank you! Your compliment about historical detail is so wonderful especially because I know you are particular about this sort of thing as well, what with all of your historical details in Play the Devil! :) I did feel bad killing off those two, but considering the era, as you mentioned, people dying young was pretty common. Not that that would have made it any easier. :(

I'm so glad you're excited for the last chapter! I can tell you already that it will definitely be up on or before the 20th of January, because that marks exactly two years from when I began writing this fic, and I have a weird obsession with numbers lining up perfectly like that :p

Thanks so much for your review, Jenna! ♥


 Report Review

Review #24, by LululunaViolet Hill: an iridescent colour.

19th December 2014:
Hey hey!! :)

Ooh, I really liked how while the first two chapters were about Astoria's death and this one about Lily, there were still links between the two of them. Like how Lily was the one who helped him come to terms with Astoria dying. I particularly liked this line:

she was the one who allowed the light to seep in. Beam by beam, she wiped away your melancholic edges. It was just such a neat image and I could really picture Scorpius' emotions here.

I like how much Lily's character was flushed out, with her interest in history and how she seems very clever and logical. I liked how they were just good friends, not necessarily in a relationship. I suppose thinking back that fits with the HC prompt and it felt really unique as usually I might expect a story like this to be about a spouse, but it was all the more meaningful that they were friends in a way. It's lovely to see how Scorpius sees Death as not limiting, but that Lily will live on forever. It was a really nice ending to the story and tied it all together so well.

Great job with these, Kiana, I really loved reading them!! :) Sorry again for taking forever! ♥

Author's Response: Hi hi!

I'm glad you liked the link as I wanted to make the final chapter a little more positive and less negative than the previous had been as it couldn't be all dark and gloomy.

I'm so glad that you liked it, as we usually see Scorpius in a relationship with one of the Weasley/Potter girls, I wanted to change it here and make them friends instead as it's quite different for him, plus that's what the prompt was! I'm glad you liked the idea that death wasn't limiting as I think it's something we should all remember as it will make life a lot easier that way.

No problem Jenna, and thanks again for the great reviews! ♥

-Kiana


 Report Review

Review #25, by LululunaViolet Hill: the land of delusions.

19th December 2014:
Hello again, my dear! ♥

Ooh, this chapter was so creepy. Even more so than the last one, I'd thought that Scorpius had accepted his mother's death but this shows that the grieving stages are a process, and perhaps something that he will never quite come to terms with.

The windís soft tongue wraps itself around you, drawing you into its hushed words, making you think its blurred syllables, obscured vowels, are the truth, that it doesnít possess an ounce of lies. I really loved this line, it was such a cool personification of the wind and really effective. Scorpius' idea of Death as an essence or presence also really felt powerful and reminded me of Death in the Tale of the Three Brothers.

I like Draco's idea of Death and how he sort of brings Scorpius out of this eerie world and back into reality. It felt like Scorpius' grief had sort of gone beyond his simply missing his mother and become a more psychological fear that affected his own idea of his own identity, and that he needs Draco's words to bring him back to reality.

Another great story! :) I liked how it expanded on the first story but also brought something new and a different angle in understanding his mother's death. Well done! :)

Author's Response: Hey again Jenna! ♥

Haha, I know, as this is perhaps the more reflective stage of the grieving process where he really has to confront all the horrors of death.

Aw, thank you so much, it was so much fun making Death more of a character as he's so intricate and complex when you do personify him it's so much fun to write.

He does, and I think him being an only child and having a sort of recluse father doesn't help much with the grieving process as he's doesn't have anyway to confide until Draco finally got his act together and looked after him.

Thank you so much for this fab review, Jenna! ♥

-Kiana


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>