Hello my dear, so I know you have a request waiting for Seven Years and Counting, but I couldn't resist coming to check this out and letting you know what I think.
And I really like it! Eun Ae has such a great voice as a character, and I think she comes across as very dynamic and genuine. Her story is so interesting, and the way the introductory chapter progressed was very smooth and had the perfect mix of plot and context. It's interesting to see how this story, and the 1st person POV, differs from your other story! :) I also like how Eun Ae addresses the reader directly, it gives her a lonely feel, though she seems like a positive and likeable person despite all her hardships.
I thought it was so interesting how Eun Ae hates and fears magic because of how it killed her parents: all she's seen is the horrible side of it, and not how it relates to her life. I also enjoyed the detail of the Ministry not wiping her memory and how they handled the situation, it was a really nice touch. I'm very interested to find out who the man with the wand was, and how he'll relate to the rest of the story or not.
She seems really original, being both South Korean (I'm assuming) and deaf. The second is particularly unique, and I'm sure is both challenging and rewarding to write, since pretty much every description and interaction has to be written taking that into account. I was wondering: what's Eun Ae's principle language? If it wasn't English, was it harder for her to learn sign language or not? Where did she learn it, and to lip-read, and did her Gran learn to sign as well? Since she had her hearing in the past, can she speak aloud if she so chooses? How was it for her to learn in school without her hearing? Also, how did her Gran end up living in England, is there a story there?
These are just some questions that popped into my mind while reading, but I'm sure you've already considered and answered them all! :) This is a really great start to a story, and I'm very interested to see where it goes! :)Author's Response: Oh! Hey there! It's really nice to see that you ventured off to another one of my stories! :D I'm really glad that you like it, too! :D I'm really working on my first person pov so I can relate to my character a little easier, and I'm glad to see that it's working so far! :D
You know, you actually just sort of gave me a direction. I mean, it probably should have been an obvious one, but I didn't put much thought into who exactly the man was that killed all those people. I'll have to make that a point at some point ;). Thanks!
Yep! Eun Ae is South Korean! (The only other language and country I know relatively well).
Eun Ae speaks English AND Korean. I'll have to bring a reflection of her parents up at some point soon, but her mother is English and her father is South Korean. Her Gran is her mother's mother, and that's why she's in England. :)
Her Gran (again, through memories or something, I'll bring her past up) did know sign language, but she liked to just speak a lot because her old hands got tired ;).
Yep! Eun does speak English (though very rarely because she finds it weird that something is coming out of her mouth, but she can't hear it).
I think those are all good to answer with for now, since they're not exactly the main focus of my story. I'll try and add it in a future chapter though so everyone can learn ;). I'm really happy that you read it and reviewed! It was a pleasant surprise! :D Report Review
Hello, I'm back! :)
I liked how you started the story off with Noah's perspective, giving us more insight into his family life and his personality. I liked seeing this side of him, and it made him more appealing to me as a character. It's sad that they broke up, and I'm still a little confused as to why! It wasn't very nice of Molly to break up with him in front of her friends either, but I guess those things never really go smoothly. I'm interested to learn more about their relationship in the past!
I liked the contrasts with Noah and his sister as well, and how he feels so seperate from the Muggle world. It was a very unique look into how Muggleborns must feel, and shows how removed those two worlds really are!
Lily and Hugo were so cute with their worrying about the sorting! It was just great. I like the dynamics that exist within the Weasleys, and how close they all are despite having their own individual friends. Looks like there might be something blossoming between James and Addie, as well...
I'm excited to find out what's going on with the kids at Hogwarts, and what mysteries this story holds now that the plot is continuing to unravel. You have some really clear, strong writing here and it complements your characters very well. Good job! :)Author's Response: Noah's a great guy! I love writing in his pov any chance I get! ;) They broke up because of the love situation. It will take a while, but we'll learn exactly why (hopefully) on Molly's part.
I'm glad you liked his sister! I was sort of worried that maybe she wouldn't have enough character for there to be a real relationship there, no matter how brief. Though I'm glad the point of Muggle world/Magical world separation appeared! :D
Ooh James and Addie, while everyone over here is all "Molly and Noah" I can't wait to see how the tables turn when it comes to James-y Pooh and Addie because they're really my favorite pair to mess with ;). You'll see why soon enough.
Thank you for everything! Every word, review, and read so far! It's so nice to come on everyday and see someone enjoying the story now! :) So many thanks to give to you! Shall I re-request? :) Report Review
Hello! I'm back for your next requested review, and sorry about the delay! :)
This is another great chapter, and you captured a really interesting side of Malfoy. I like how you've gone into his fate after the war, and how he actually was at risk of being put into Azkaban. It's refreshing that the wizarding world would be willing to give young people like Malfoy a second chance, despite the mistakes they made. I also really liked how Harry stood up for him, despite their differences, and I definitely think it's something Harry would do.
I liked the line about Malfoy not wanting to be grouped in with the other DE. He always thought he was unique and deserved special treatment, but for once he doesn't want to be part of his father's group and be recognized for fear: he just wants to be free and normal. It suggests that maybe he had doubts before, and sees himself as seperate from that old DE identity.
I liked how Draco felt a little humiliated that Harry had saved his life: it was very in character. I don't think that the war would have changed him entirely, and that he'd for the most part continue being a rather rotten person, but I like the contrasts in his personality and his character growth that we see here. :) I kind of suspect that he won't be too polite and kind in the future, but it was a nice thought of Draco to have! :P
I really like the style of these stories so far, how they focus around one moment and retreat to flashbacks and context. It flows really smoothly, and tells the reader why the characters are the way they are in that particular moment. Your writing is very clear, but packs a lot of emotion through the simple structure. I love it! :)
Feel free to re-request!! :) Report Review
NO!!! How am I going to survive six more days without knowing what happens to Sirius??!?!
This was such a brilliant chapter, however, and not only because of the cliffhanger. I loved the capture of Greyback, and what a close call it was. So much suspense! The perspectives with Snape and Petunia were very interesting as well. I like the way you write Snape and Dumbledore's conversations, and it makes me feel a little resentful towards Dumbledore on Snape's behalf. But I do feel like in the HP books and fan fics Dumbledore tends to swoop in deus ex machina style, so I'm liking how your Dumbledore is still uncertain and potentially not making the right choices. I like how he doesn't know Sirius is innocent, at least for now.
I also enjoyed the little detail Sirius threw in about waking up next to Marlene: it was cute, and just made the fact that she hated him all the more tragic.
I just can't believe the way this ended! I can tell that you love Sirius and wouldn't want to kill him, though granted it would make a very interesting twist to the story. I suspect that either Marlene's curse wouldn't have been strong enough to kill, or someone like Remus will leap in with a Protego charm (after all, he couldn't just do nothing!), or hopefully a miracle will happen and Sirius will be alright *fingers crossed*. However, I suspect you're going to draw this suspense out and possibly not even reveal Sirius' fate until the chapter after next... ahh!! Well, I'll just have to wait and find out!! :D Amazing chapter, as usual! :)Author's Response: Haha, sorry. :S It's only five, now. :)
Thank you! :D Greyback deserved everything he got (and probably more). I found Petunia and Snape absolutely fascinating to write because they've got so much history, but that was so long ago, and the one thing that 'united' them (Lily) is gone (though I suppose Harry's a reasonable substitute). They'll be back soon - if not next chapter, then certainly the one after - and Petunia's plan will be revealed...
I have mixed feelings about Dumbledore; I absolutely love him as a character because he's so quirky and genuinely kind, but at the same time, I don't think he's as flawless as he seems. He's made some questionable decisions - even if they're often the best ones available - and I really enjoyed showing this with his scene with Snape (who often tends to get caught up in these questionable causes, the poor thing :P). My main goal with Dumbledore is to keep him human; he isn't going to always have the answers and - as you so excellently put it - swoop in deus ex machina style, but he is still an brilliantly clever and powerful wizard, and I don't want him to lose that side of his nature. It'll be a very delicate balance, I think, and it's one I'm looking forward to playing with. :)
I couldn't help putting that in - it was so very much like Sirius to say something like that - and I think - as you said - it really did put emphasis on how tragic their situation is. :S
Sorry! :P I do love Sirius, but so did J.K. Rowling and that didn't keep him safe from her either. :S They're interesting theories, but I won't say anything about them, though I will tell you that you'll know Sirius' fate in the next chapter; I think I've been mean enough with all of the cliff hangers and leaving everyone hanging for another week would be downright sadistic. :P
Thank you so much for the review!
MarauderLover7. Report Review
Hi, so I'm glad I got the chance to come back and check out this story since I enjoyed "Ending It." When reading the prequel, I suspected that eventually Victoire would find out and everything would explode, and this story certainly did not disappoint! I felt so sorry for Victoire, and how this will forever taint her love for her sister as well as her fiance (as for Teddy, he doesn't deserve either of them!).
There was so much buildup at the beginning of the chapter, I could really feel the tension in suspecting what was about to happen. When she found the letter, I was just thinking "OH NO!" yet still felt like she deserved to know the truth.
I'm personally not a huge fan of swearing in stories, especially if its not in the dialogue, since I feel like there's always another word to use that holds the eloquence and flow of the writing together, so in terms of CC that's about all I've got. Feel free to ignore it, however!
You should consider writing a sequel one-shot that discusses what the girls' families and parents think about the whole situation, and maybe giving the girls some sort of closure! :)
This was another great story, well done! :) Report Review
Hello, here for your requested review! :)
I quite liked this! The descriptions were very strong, and I particularly liked the one of the clearing at the beginning. It started the story off with a very eerie feel, which was of course completely flipped at the first mention of an "enormous stuffed penguin."
Honestly, I kept laughing every time the penguin was mentioned. It was just so ridiculous, but worked in giving the story a sense of strangeness and keeping the reader on their toes. Otherwise, this is a very tragic story, but the mention of the penguin kept reminding me to look at it in different ways.
To be fair, if I were Gellert and was haunted by an enormous stuffed penguin I'd be quite upset. I wonder what Voldy was haunted by... an enormous stuffed armadillo, perhaps?
I think the descriptions were good, but that you could have used a little bit more. Maybe some more context and memories of Grindelwald's time with the Dumbledores, like his interactions with Ariana before the duel? It would help situate the story and add a little more substance to it, so that could be something to think about. :)
Overall I think the story flows pretty well and bears an important message, despite the obvious humour present. Great job with this! :)Author's Response: Thank you very much!
I had to think a little bit on how to include the penguin and finally settled on its role as the manifestation of his guilt.
I'm certain that at first, Gellert was more than a little annoyed with the penguin, but after being chased around all day and not being able to escape the penguin, he was becoming more alarmed and scared.
I never thought what Voldy could have been haunted by. Giant armadillo or perhaps a opossum?
I've added notes into the story to add memories of Ariana and her innocence (since it seems that even though she was 14 at the time she died, she hadn't been allowed to emotionally grow up).
Thank you very much!
Hi, so I'm here from review tag to check out another of your awesome Voldy series!
I think I said this in the other reviews, but I really like how you play around with pop culture and our obsession with TV and media, and then throw in the added component of Voldemort. The tone of the story is really great in how its so seriously written, and is all the more hilarious for it.
The details about the Monique show were so good, like how she gave out bottles of Amortentia, and the "Molly Weasley demographic." All the mentions of Harry Potter as a succesful celebrity are really funny as well, I can really sense Voldy's resentment through the words!
The Lee Jordan really made me laugh as well, including the rather bad wizard-related jokes he made at the beginning. Does it make me a bad person that I find ginger jokes really amusing? :P I do feel quite bad for Voldy however, he really can't get ahead. The bit between Sirius and Cedric was so silly, and actually a wise point! Molly's apperance was great as well.
Another hilarious and amazing story, I loved it! :)Author's Response: Thanks a lot for the review!
As you probably guessed, Monique is pretty blatantly based on Oprah, while Lee is more of the Jay Leno/Johnathan Ross type.
And I'm sure I'm not the only one who noticed all the similarities between Sirius and Jacob Black...oh don't get me started on twilight haha.
Given the huge exposure that Harry Potter has gotten in pop culture, it really amuses me to think about how the characters might react if they were self-aware of it.
Thanks again! Report Review
Hi! I'm back, and sorry about the late response! I like this chapter as a continuation from the wedding, and I'm quite liking your voice as a writer. You have a very clear way of transitioning between characters, and the style is very reader-friendly and well structured, if that makes sense. It's very appealing to read! :)
I liked the little details that went into characterizing the family, like James' not wanting to be seen as "Potter's boy through and through," and Lily being excited to get her wand. The family dynamics were really intricate, and I could tell how close they all are, like when Hermione and Ginny went to comfort Molly. In a lot of fanfics Percy's lot seem to be a lot more uptight and seperate from the rest of the family, so it's refreshing how Molly is so close with the other Weasleys.
So the plot that Molly and Albus were eavesdropping on sounds very intruiging! I'm excited to find out what's going on, by the sounds of it some students in Slytherin are getting up to some unpleasant business. I was a little confused at first about why they were holding a Ministry meeting at the Potters and why Ginny was included, but since they were discussing a Potter kid it makes more sense. Also, I was a little curious about the urgency in which Percy charged in: did they just find out about these goings on at Hogwarts, or have there been suspicions for a long time? The other thing I wasn't sure about was the age difference between the kids: Albus must be thirteen if Lily is eleven, but he seems more mature. I do like how James is a considerable amount of years the elder, however, as usually he seems to be around the same age as Al. It's refreshing, as well! :) These are just things that popped up when I was reading the chapter, so just little gaps to keep an eye out for!
Anyway, I'm really liking this so far!! Please do feel free to re-request!! :)Author's Response: Aw, I don't feel as if you were late at all! I'm just happy you came! :)
I'm glad you liked the continuation, and it really makes me happy that you like the voice! (Yes, that does make sense ;)) And it makes me really happy! My number one worry is always that my writing is too boring and generic, so I'm glad I'm speaking through!
I always read fics where Molly is uptight and distant, but I don't honestly see why. I always thought that after the Fred incident, Percy, though not perfectly normal like the rest, would try to be a bit more family oriented and try to be with the family a bit more. So yeah, I think Molly would be very close to the rest of her family! :) They are Weasley's after all ;).
I imagine the urgency was more to do with an argument. Percy wants his nephew to step in, and Kingsley doesn't think it is wise, and school is getting ever closer, and they have to start finding out now before it does start to get too late. Just a bit of putting it off for a bit longer than it should have been, yeah?
So, this is going to get really confusing, but after doing a LOT of research with Potter Wikis and such, I don't honestly even have the ages correct in this story, but I'm obviously not changing them for this story. Though, in a future next gen I'm writing it will be more up to date, so I hope no one will get too confused. THOUGH, I always imagined James as a bit older than Al. I didn't think they were too terribly close in the epilogue. That's just not how I saw them. Lily and Al were a lot closer than I thought the brothers were. Al is thirteen, and he is a third year, I just think he's mature because his brother isn't (though he has his fun moments) and he's the oddball. Everyone watches him as if there's something different about him. Harry, after all, was very mature for his age.
Thank you so much for coming by, reading, and reviewing! :D I'm so glad that you are liking it! I've feared that this story wasn't where I actually thought it was with story and characters with it's lack of love on every site I have it on. Your reviews really make my day! :D Thank you so much! Will definitely re-request! Report Review
I was so excited to see that you'd added a new chapter that I went and did other errands for 15 minutes to savour the fact that there was a new chapter to read before actually reading it, and therefore extend the excitement. Hopefully that indicates how much I enjoy this story! :)
I actually think Lisa's worries are very reasonable, and I don't blame her for being nervous! So many things in her life and progressing and changing, and she's certainly entitled to being upset. I do think she'll come around and make a wonderful mum, however!
Also, I think one of the things that makes Edie so appealing as a character is how honestly self-centered she is. She worries about having to move out when the baby arrives, and has to refrain from talking about her own problems over Lisa's. Even though these might seem like bad qualities they make her more dynamic and believable as a character, and the fact that she recognizes that she has faults make me like her more!
Incendio-ing the note from Oliver was just too funny and Edie-ish. I appreciated her sassiness, though definitely wanted to know what the note said (as Edie did). Her attempts to repair the note were so funny, and I liked Oliver's reaction as well. Again, he's one of those characters who is all the more appealing for being imperfect.
Can't wait to read about the break-in! (I'm personally predicting they're going to get caught, because that's just Edie's luck). Another great chapter, good job!! :DAuthor's Response: Whaaat! That's so awesome! What a compliment, thank you so much. :3
Oh man, Lisa is going to be, like, THE best mum in the history of mums. That kid is going to be smart, and eat stupid-healthy, and probably be really pretty. hehe.
Yes, Edie is quite self-centered, isn't she? xD Originally she didn't mention at all that she had to move out, but it didn't feel awkward enough, haha. I'm glad you find her likeable despite all of these faults, though!
The break-in! Yes! It's going to be great. I'm taking my time with it, because it's been so long since I've written an adventure scene and I want to get it right.
Thank you so much! ♥ Report Review
Review tag! :)
I liked this little story! I've never really read anything about Susan Bones but I quite liked her as a main character and felt like she was really relatable. The awkwardness and confusion she felt definitely reminded me of any first day at a new job, although a new job with dragons is certainly more exciting!
I really liked the description of the facility in Romania and how much thought you put into how it was set up and functioned. The description of that nasty Horntail was great as well: you really captured its ferocious nature! :P Good job with smoothly incorporating all of those prompts as well, I thought the story flowed really well. The line about her hair and a Skrewt was one of my favourite lines!
The idea of needing to protect the dragons from people wanting to use their blood was creative as well, but made a lot of sense! I really liked the world you set up here, and I'm wondering where Charlie went! :) Good job!! :D Report Review
Hi! I'm here for your requested review! :)
This was such a lovely, beautifully written one-shot. I'm very impressed that you fit it into 500 words, which is very tricky to do, especially with a story that has so much significance and meaning behind it. The one flaw in having such a short piece is that makes much more sense for readers who know the background and context of the story and what happened with these characters. But then again, the majority of your readers would know the context, so it works! :D
First of all, I am completely enthralled by your use of symbolism in this piece. The idea of shooting the Albatross, or Ariana, symbolizes the slaying of innocence for no particular reason, as well as a burden that Albus must bear for the rest of his life. His Albatross is invisible but something that we know weighs heavy on his shoulders for the rest of his rather long life. I definitely think this was a very strong metaphor to use. It was also interesting how he wondered if it would be easier to have split his soul, because he wouldn't have had to bear with that pain. I think this depicts a very different and younger Albus than the one we see in HP: one who is so grief-stricken and guilt-ridden. The aged Dumbledore would never have considered the option of splitting his soul as being appealing.
I also loved how you tied in the Albatross from RoAM with the story of Icarus, and when I think about it that is such a perfect comparison. The visions of Ariana, of innocent Icarus seeking freedom, and of the curious Albatross "falling" from the heavens is such a poignant one. It's interesting to think of Daedalus (Albus) trying to fly higher and higher and revelling in his own brilliance, which Icarus (Ariana) flies too close to the greatness of the sun and is the one who dies for the leader's pride and mistakes. It reminds me a bit of Paradise Lost and the Fall as well.
Also, I enjoyed your use of the metaphor of the sun, and imagined the sun representing Grindelwald. Albus brings Ariana too close to the sun, and she melts and falls. Albus himself melted at Grindelwald's feet. There was no more light once Grindelwald left.
The portrayal of Ariana's death as being of Grindelwald's planning, to harness and use her power, was very interesting as well. It actually fit very well with my idea of canon, and of that encounter. I loved this bit: "Magic, not tears, fell from her eyes, her every footstep imprinted with wasted power." With a few short words you truly conveyed Ariana's existence, and it was very powerful.
Oh! Going back to RoAM/Icarus, I loved how this story read with the language of being on a ship in the sea. The mentions of the cold, and the mist, and how the paragraph structure seems to rock back and forth, almost imitating waves of thought going through Albus' mind. I suppose it relates to the passing of the old year to the new: going on a journey from which he cannot return.
I am so sorry, I definitely just went all English lit on your story! But as you can tell, I thought it was rather wonderful and a very lovely piece of art. Well done! :) Report Review
Hi, here for your requested review! :) This was such a great story, and a thoughtful insight into Greyback's mind. I think you did a really good job in the way that you didn't deny that he was a villain, but showed me why he was the way he is. It's very tragic that he really just wanted company and to be appreciated!
It's interesting how he recognized that he's a monster, and there's a certain degree of self-loathing that came through the story. The contrast with Lupin was interesting as well, and I sensed a little jealousy on Greyback's part: people love and listen to Lupin, and he can navigate regular wizarding society whereas that option isn't really possible for Greyback, so he has to make the best with what he has.
I liked how you gave the context of Greyback being bitten and then cast out of his house and rejected by the Headmaster, whereas Lupin had a different story and ended up the better for it. I wonder, had Greyback's parents had still loved him and the Headmaster accommodated for him at Hogwarts, if he would have turned out differently and not done all those horrible things. It's a little ironic, because by being unkind and selfish those people sort of created a monster as well, and in a way they're partly responsible for the people that Greyback turns and mauls.
I loved the description of him being an "attack dog" for Voldy. It really complemented the descriptions of him in the HP books: how he wasn't given the dark mark, and wasn't even properly accepted into the DE. Your story really pinpoints his isolation from other humans, which he copes with through violence.
"And then there were the times where he couldn't even be bothered to stop after infecting the child. The crunch of bones under his powerful jaw, the metallic taste of blood, the symphonic sound of their last screams - it was addicting."
This was such a great description! It was really well-written, and gave an image to his beastly and brutish nature. :)
Anyway, you did a really excellent job with this! The characterization was spot-on, and you really succeeded in saying a lot in only a few words. I loved seeing this other side to Greyback, and by the end of this story actually felt quite sorry for him! Nicely written! :)Author's Response: And I die by the awesomeness of this review.
The whole point of this little collection is pointing out that just because someone seems evil doesn't mean that that's all that they are, so I'm glad you picked up on that!
I liked drawing some comparisons between Lupin and Greyback. It's interesting that both were bitten young, and they turned out vastly opposite. I wanted to give a little bit of reason behind that with Greyback's background in comparison to Lupin, who went to Hogwarts and had the Marauders for friends.
Okay, the fact that you picked up on that little bit of irony I threw in there regarding the people's mean behaviours creating the monster in Greyback makes me so happy! :)
Gosh, that sentence was one of my favourites. It just kind of came naturally and I really fell in love with it.
Thanks so much for this review!
-ShadowRose (Taylor) Report Review
Hi, here for your requested review! :)
I really like this chapter as a beginning! I think you set up Molly as a main character very well: she clearly has an outspoken, cynical and slightly moody personality, and I like her already! The descriptions of Molly's dress and Victoire's awful fashion sense made me laugh.
I was a little confused about why she was so angry about Victoire and Teddy's wedding, and now I'm guessing she might have a soft spot for Teddy. Either that, or she's really opposed to getting married young, or maybe she's jealous of the relationship Vic and Teddy have when Molly's own relationship with Noah seems pretty complicated. Hmm...
Noah seems like a sweetheart, and I think he deserves to be treated a little nicer by Molly!
The world of the Weasleys you've set up seems very complete and well-detailed. I like James! :) Though he does seem a little obnoxious, and his intoxicated accent was a little... strange. :P From the few sentences describing Victoire, I felt like I got a good feeling of her personality. She seems like she believes the best in people, like when she thinks Molly is crying for her out of happiness.
The one thing I was confused about was how old Molly was: at first because she was Vic's bridesmaid I assumed she was around Vic's age, but then later we find out she's in sixth year at Hogwarts. Maybe you could say something about why the two of them are so close despite having four years between them, or consider mentioning that Molly's still at Hogwarts a little earlier. :)
In your request you asked about the issue at hand vs. real life. From your summary it seems like the story has something to do with new dark forces rising? I loved this first chapter, but it seemed to be setting the stage for a more romance-oriented story. You might consider hinting or foreshadowing this future action, whether through the use of an ominous narrative voice, or maybe some of the party guests talking about rumours of a new dark force they've heard. Of course I haven't read the rest of the story yet, so I'm not sure exactly how to fit it in, but that could be something to consider! :)
Anyway, great job with this!! Please do feel free to re-request!! :)Author's Response: Aw! Thanks for stopping by so quickly! :) I'm glad you like the beginning chapter! :) I do like Molly. A lot, and I'm beginning to realize she hasn't had much screen (haha, get it? computer screen? ;)) time as I'd like her to here recently. Though, I'm glad the fashion sense made you laugh! Humor isn't my best haha. :)
This comes up a lot, and if I hadn't written this chapter over three years ago, I might find the energy to really change it a bit to add something we see later in the story to this part. However, I think I'll just let you know now. And this goes for all else who like to read Author Responses :). Molly is cynical toward this wedding and Noah's saying he loves her because we get to see a flashback sometime in the future with Molly, Audrey, and Percy. It's not critical or anything, just something we see as to why Molly is the way she is. It's the set up of how she feels in relationships, and seeing as how I want this fic to get a little darker as it goes, it helps us feel for the characters right?
Noah is a sweetheart! Dear Godric I loves him! :3 He deserves a very nice girl indeed!
I'm glad you like my little Weasley family and James. He isn't all that obnoxious really as the story pans out. I think I planned for him to be a prankster, but I tired of reading other stories where he's like that, so I changed him a bit. He just likes a good party every once in a while ;). His accent is sort of based off a movie I saw where when the girl got drunk, she went very cockney (I think that's how you spell it). It was to add to just a bit of the slurring humor. :) I'd like to say Victoire is a sweetheart (she really is), however there really isn't much more of her or Ted in the future. Maybe later. Much later in the story, but I don't really have much planned for them as of now. But yes, family does come first!
Hmm, a lot of people have questions about the bridesmaid thing. Am I the only one who is considerably younger than my aunt who has been a bridesmaid? Lol. Well, maybe I will have something in a Molly POV where we see something with her and Fleur so it can be seen why she would ever be a bridesmaid. I guess it could look a bit random since it doesn't seem like Molly is for this wedding at all.
I actually split chapter one and chapter two from all those three years ago. :) Chapter two goes into the real plot of the story where we see that something is going down. I just wanted to show the oblivion of people as they are having a good/not-so-good time. :)
Thank you so much for reviewing and reading! It makes me so happy! :) I'll definitely re-request! Thanks a heep! Report Review
This was simply beautiful!!! I loved the nostalgic, loving and eloquent tone of Hermione's voice, it reads almost like a lullaby. You have a very lovely style of description that flowed so naturally, and it was a pleasure to read. The use of long, flowing sentences to represent the continuation and drawn out birth mixed with short sentences really pacts impact and sets up the story so nicely.
"The hours I spent holding you, rocking you, singing you to sleep in my arms and yet I still could not decide what name to give you, how to name the mystical rain child that slipped into our lives one dark November day. Your dark blue eyes stared accusingly up at me- what name could be good enough for such a being? What name did justice to the half-moon dimples in your cheeks? To the growing amount of sunlit hair, which I could already tell would one day be just as bushy as mine had always been?"
This, was truly lovely. The adoration and fascination Hermione has with her daughter really comes across, and I loved how she found characteristics of herself-like her hair-in her child. I think that the wonder of the whole experience really seems believable for a parent with their firstborn.
I'm glad that Hermione's mother got to redeem herself as a namer of babies by coming up with the name Rose. ("Hermione?" Really, Mrs. Granger?) The details about Hermione's parents feeling a little out of place in the magical world fit very well with my idea of them in canon, as well. :)
The last two paragraphs were stunning as well. They summed up the whole lovely little story so well, and made me feel rather nostalgic! "The world will take what it can from you, but those moments, Rose, those moments will always be ours." Simply beautiful. You should be really proud of your writing in this story, I absolutely adored it! :)Author's Response: Hello!
Aww thankyou so much for such a fantastic review!
I love your comment about it sounding like a lullaby... I sort of imagine Hermione telling it all to Rose one day and that idea fits beautifully with that :)
Ahh I'm glad you liked that quote, and that Hermione's fascination comes across... I really enjoyed putting in the little similarities between Rose and her parents, so it's good that you picked up on that! It's wonderful to hear that she seems believable as a parent with a firstborn, as I don't have any children (yet!) so bringing across that emotion was something I was quite nervous about!
Haha yeah, I'm not sure Mrs Granger will ever live down naming her daughter Hermione! I'm very glad that you liked the way Hermione's parents were presented, and that their discomfort in the magical world seemed to fit well... They get very sidelined in the books, but I imagined that they would want to be included in their granddaughter's life :)
It's great to hear that you liked the last line (it was probably the bit of this I was happiest with.)
Thankyou, thankyou for such a sweet, lovely review! It made me so happy, and put a great big smile on my face!
-Bethany Report Review
Review tag! :)
So I pretty much loved this from the first paragraph. Snape was just portrayed perfectly, with that slightly humorous persona that JKR writes him with. Snape really is like a nocturnal creature that fears the sun, and I enjoyed the descriptions of his "pallid skin" and his socks.
The snarky tone of this piece really emulates Snape perfectly. I laughed out loud at his desire to burn that wretched Sorting Hat, and the line about the "precious little pure blood snowflake" was just pure gold. Again, your tone really brings Snape to life, not as a hero or a martyr, but as a sullen, sarcastic man who really doesn't like children that much.
Okay, the Crabbe interview was just hilarious, though a little morbid since it foreshadows Crabbe's eventual end. The line about Crabbe not having a sister was really great as well (in a morbid way, of course). Oh, Crabbe...And oh, Goyle...
Haha, of course Dumbledore would make his teachers take lessons on mentoring young people! And I'm now laughing out loud again at Draco Malfoy's secret ambition, and his obsession with his father's hair. "Oh, it's not just something he was born with." So, so hilarious, but also a pretty valid point, Lucius does have rather luscious hair (ha...). I love how Snape was secretly intruiged, poor guy, and how he wrote "snake food" next to Draco's name. Really, you're killing me here! :)
Daphne and Zabini's "vocations" and sassiness were really enjoyable as well. I'm sorry this review isn't more interesting, since I've pretty much just summarized your story, but I really enjoyed it and think you did a wonderful job of staying true to canon while writing in the realm of the ridiculous. Genius, really! :)Author's Response: Hi, there!
I'm really glad you enjoyed the story. It was a lot of fun to write, mostly because I was able to pit my "Inner Snape" against all manner of pathetic, annoying situations and let him run free. He really is a funny guy when he's not killing Dumbledore.
Thanks for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Wait, WHAT?? It's over??!?! No!
Okay, that little tirade over, but I'm sad! I didn't realize it was set to completed! :(
This was a brilliant last chapter, however. You really tied together all the loose ends and summarized the last six months to make sense with the present. I really liked the simplicity of the line "A lot has changed in the last six months. And I really do mean a lot." Not only has Molly's job and relationship status changed, but she's changed as a person. She's happy, and doing something she loves, and finding her own place and identity in the world instead of being swept along by mundane ambition. Even the language of her narration seems a lot more carefree, and less uptight than the language in the first couple of chapters, so well done with that! :)
Another example of that change is how Molly actually approved of the dragon training centre in Britain, whereas uptight Molly would have never understood. Getting Cynthia to approve it was very sneaky of those two! :P
All the details of Molly's work day and her job are really interesting! I love the details, like what kind of dragons are there, and her new co-workers like Shelly, which helps give the piece even more depth and personality. The picking out apprentices made me laugh, but hey, who wouldn't want to be a dragon handler?!? (well other than Molly). Can I be one, please?? :P
Molly and Campbell are just so adorable together, and I like how happy they make each other. It still surprises me a bit how they never fight, but hey, maybe they do but it's so inconsequential and therefore doesn't make it into Molly's narration! This was a wonderful story (and I'm sad it's over already!), and I'm really glad I read it. Amazing job!!! :)Author's Response: Aw I'm sorry you didn't realise it was set to completed - I hope it wasn't too much of a disappointment!
I really wanted to tie up the loose ends with this final chapter, and reveal what has actually changed in her life, because it is a lot. Molly did seem to find her identity in something she would never have looked towards beforehand. That's not to say that her relationship is defining her, but rather it has opened her mind to possibilities she'd never considered before.
Molly was quite surprised at finding out how much she enjoyed working at the centre, and of course, with her organisational skills, she's very good at it! She never really got on with her colleagues at the Ministry, so I wanted her to have a friend at work. Shelly is someone else who she'd probably never have considered that she could be friends with, but again meeting Campbell has changed her outlook.
(Molly wanted me to give you the message that interviews take place next Monday; if you are successful you'll begin training at the start of June. She also says please don't bother if your interests are similar to those listed by other applicants in the story.)
Molly and Campbell are still in the honeymoon period of their relationship, because everything happened so fast. There are some disagreements and arguments, but it's nothing compared to what Molly's experienced in the past, so she doesn't feel it's worth mentioning.
Thank you so much for all the fantastic reviews, and for taking the time to review each chapter! I'll make it back to TGfS soon!
Sian :) Report Review
This was such an exciting chapter, I loved it! First of all, I really enjoyed the descriptions of Muggle travelling, and how secretive they're being about the whole thing. Molly's determination not to tell her family seems a little unfair, but then again she's not that close with them and wants her wedding to be about her and Campbell, not the fuss of her family.
I think one of the funniest parts of your story is how Campbell has so many fangirls, like Mona and Cynthia and the Romanian girls. It's just so funny, and I feel like Molly definitely deserves to be a little smug! :P
I love the thought and detail you've put into the descriptions of the dragon colony, and the effort involved in getting there. It makes the story more realistic (despite the fact that they're visiting dragons and can do magic, but... you know). For some reason I really appreciated that their Apparition licenses don't work in Romania: I find the wizarding world can be way too easy to navigate, and adding these little complications and set-backs makes the story so strong.
Aw, Charlie! I'm really glad he was in on the wedding and offered to give Molly away, it was just so sweet. I feel as if Charlie was probably a little gleeful to go behind Percy's back. :P
I think their wedding was perfect! It suited both Molly and Campbell's relationships, and was all about them and their love for each other, not spending lots of money and making a big fuss and having a designer wedding dress. I loved it, and definitely approve.
I wish I could have some CC for you but this story is just so thought-out and concise, and your writing style is very eloquent and clear, I just can't think of anything!! :P Great job with this, as always!! :DAuthor's Response: I think the reason that Molly was determined not to involve her family in the wedding was because they always steal the limelight. She knows that it's not their fault, but at the same time she can't help wishing it was different. Even though she got her job on her own merit, she's always worried that it was because of her connections at the Ministry. Her wedding and her relationship with Campbell are two of the things that are entirely her own.
Well, Campbell was an international rock star, so he's bound to have fangirls everywhere. I'm pretty sure Molly deserves to be a bit smug about it!
Imagining the dragon colony was one of my favourite parts of this chapter. I was a bit worried that it would seem like I was just inventing problems and setbacks for their journey, but I didn't want it to be easy or simple for them to get away.
Charlie was one of those additions that happened when I was writing the story - I couldn't let Molly get married without any of her family there! I think Charlie probably knew what Percy's reaction would be, and wanted to let Molly do what she wanted, even if it was crazy (for once!).
Thank you so much for a brilliant review! They always make my day because they're so thoughtful and nice to read!
Sian :) Report Review
Review tag! :)
So, I really like this! The descriptions, especially at the beginning, are really beautiful, and you did an excellent job of making the classic kiss in the rain original and your own. I liked the contrasts between Dom and Victoire and how I get a good sense of Victoire without even meeting her, at least through Dom's eyes.
I feel so bad for Dom! Teddy is obviously playing both sisters, and she's too blinded by love to see it. It's really sad how she blames herself for corrupting Teddy, and doesn't see that it's just as much his fault. When he told her that he was proposing to Victoire it just seemed so unfair, that he would expect to keep doing with Dom while planning his proposal to his sister. Not that either of them are completely interested, but poor Dom shouldn't be blaming only herself. Ugh.
Well great job with this, I really loved the characterization and the writing was very beautifully constructed. :)Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing.
I am glad you liked this as this is one of my favourite pieces (though it's in need of some polishing which I'll do when I get time). I am pleased you liked the classic rain scene and dthe contrasts between the sisters.
Yeah, Dom is too much in love with Teddy to see his faults. Well, its good to know that you could connect with the story emotionally, and that you feel for my characters.
Thanks a lot for your lovely review =) Report Review
Well, that escalated quickly!!!
Okay first I'd like to comment on Felicity and how much I like her. She seems to complement Molly really well and be a good base for her, especially considering her crazy family. I liked the hints that being in a relationship had changed Felicity as well: like how her books used to be messy on the floor, but were now properly stacked, and how she's more enthusiastic about relationships. I'm glad, though, that Molly has still retained her cynical attitude and isn't a particularly soppy romantic type, which makes me like her even more! :)
I also like the world of post-Hogwarts life you've portrayed here. So many fanfics focus on the Next Generation kids being at Hogwarts, but I love how Molly is an adult with mobility in the world beyond Hogwarts.
Okay, now this proposal. I actually think it was pretty cute, and fit with the spontaneity that Campbell brings into Molly's life. I think they would work well together, even though it's only been a month, and is there really any rush? I mean, she could follow him to Romania without getting married, right? But it's definitely pretty exciting for them to elope, I will say!
I'm excited to find out her family's reactions (if Molly even tells them!), and what Molly will think of all this, and of course to meet the dragons!!! Great job, again! :)Author's Response: Felicity was the sort of person that I thought Molly would be friends with; they have quite a lot in common, but Felicity has always been more outgoing than Molly. They kind of stuck together through Hogwarts to protect against the more 'girly' girls. I couldn't have Molly changing her cynical attitude because of a relationship, though!
I agree that a lot of fanfics focus on the Next Gen kids at Hogwarts, but I thought that it was pretty unlikely for all of them to find love during their school years, which is one of the reasons I wanted to set this story after that.
I agree about the proposal - there's definitely no real rush and they've only been together a month. But Campbell and Molly insisted and I couldn't break their hearts by splitting them up!
Thanks for another great review!
Sian :) Report Review
Hi! I'm back! :)
Again, Molly is so funny and cute with all her worrying and over-analyzing. I liked seeing her crazy and silly side in the park with Campbell, and how she keeps second-guessing herself by getting self-conscious and even saying that her cousins wouldn't believe she had a silly side.
I really like all the little quirks and stories worked into the narrative, like Molly's memories about being tickled and getting in trouble, and how sarcastic she is even when just talking to herself. It's endearing, and makes her even rounder as a character: I feel like she's very well developed, and you really know her so well.
Campbell and Molly just seem like such an adorable couple, comfortable around each other and clearly crazy about each other. I thought at first that it might have progressed too fast, but that's kind of the nature of the story: one crazy moment, Molly being spontaneous and trusting her feelings without over-analyzing them too much. And I liked how you worked in details of the past few weeks together throughout this one scene, which gave a good picture of how they are together and filled out the relationship. :) I do wonder, though, if they're in the "honeymoon" phase and are going to start seeing flaws and difficulties in their relationship soon!
I laughed at the part about becoming an old cat lady, and how she doesn't like cats. Not liking cats definitely fits with the Molly I've gotten to know so far :P Also, I would like to comment on how perfect the name Cyrus Campbell is for a rock star. Even in the wizarding world, that's pretty smooth! :P
Anyway, great job with this as usual! Definitely my favourite chapter so far!! :DAuthor's Response: Hi! Sorry it's taken me so long to get around to responding, but I'm getting round to it now!
Molly was one of my favourite characters to write - she was definitely one of those who I had conversations with in my head. I did want to get across the two sides to her personality, because nobody is one-dimensional. It's so good to hear that you think she's well developed!
I think that if this was real life, it definitely would be too fast - but that's the beauty of fiction! They are completely crazy about each other here, which is something Molly's never really experienced before, and it's changing her quite quickly.
Haha I love that line! (Is it arrogant to say that about your own story?) It's something my friends and I always joke about.
I had fun choosing Cyrus' name...I wanted something unusual but not completely made up, and it had to be alliterative. It works pretty well for a rock star, I have to say!
Thanks so much for the lovely review!
Sian :) Report Review
Hi! So this is another great chapter. I love how it just hit Harry that Ginny would be going to school without him. I imagine it'd be hard for him, after going for so long without being together and now getting separated. At least, they're wizards with awesome and speedy means of transportation, which must make long distance a lot easier! :P
I love the little details you've put into this, like Ginny's excitement at being made captain. It seems like such a small thing after fighting this war, but it's the little joys that really help people heal and move on. I love Harry's sassiness when talking to McGonagall, like his little quip about visiting students at the end. It was just so in character for Harry, and exactly the type of comment he'd make!
I liked Ginny's line about the book for charming witches! That part was so funny in the HP books, and it fit really well with Ginny's character. She definitely isn't the sappy romantic type, which is what I think Harry loves about her, among other things. Ron's annoyance over Ginny is always hilarious as well! I don't know how you do it, you just know these characters inside and out and write them so well and in character. You also emulate the tone of the books just right, I think JKR would be proud. :)
The paragraph describing Platform 9 and 3/4 was just lovely! "The smell of magic..." It's just so perfect, and reminded me of how wonderful Hogwarts and the magical world still is, even after all the destruction caused by Voldy. The only thing I would change is the use of "you" to address the reader because I thought it disrupted the flow a bit, but that's up to you! :)
Overall, this was just such a wonderful, JKR-esque send-off to Hogwarts that was very well-written and engaging to read. I do have two little things to think about: one, I'm not sure if McGonagall or wizards in general would really think to say "dental clinic" so comfortably, I feel like they would say "those strange places Muggles go to keep their teeth clean" or something along those lines. Although it is McGonagall and she does know everything. :P (And where DO wizards get their teeth cleaned, anyway?! Maybe they have magical toothbrushes with extra cleaning and anti-cavity abilities).
The other thing was just Fleur's accent: it's totally up to you but I always enjoyed associating her with her particular voice in the HP books! :D She could say "Eet is a magnifique dinner, but..." Or what not, it's fun to play around with! :)
Anyway, lovely job with this chapter as usual, and again I'm looking forward to reading and reviewing more!!! :DAuthor's Response: Yay, another review from you! :D
Yes, I feel quite bad for Harry and Ginny for having to separate so soon, but you're right - long distance relationships for Muggles are a lot worse;)
It's so nice to hear that you appreciate those details! I figured, like McGonnagall, that Ginny would the perfect as captain ;) And yes, I love Harry's sarcastic side, and I'm so glad that you think it seemed like something he would say!
I remember laughing a lot when Ron gave that book to Harry, and his not-so-smooth way of using the advice on Hermione! So I thought I'd include it, and I agree that Ginny isn't sappy romantic. That's why I thought she should make a comment like that :) I should know the characters well given how many times I've read the books, but I can't tell you how happy that compliment has made me! JKR would be proud? Even though I'm not sure she would be, those comments made me SO happy! I feel quite silly right now, smiling to myself like an idiot ;) Thank you so, so much for saying something so nice!
That paragraph about 9 and 3/4 was basically and outlet for my love of this magical world, so I'm glad that you liked it! I re-read it and I definitely agree about that "you"-part, and I'll change it as soon as possible!
After your last review, I decided to change Fleur's speech everywhere in the story, so I've actually changed it in this one too, only it hasn't been validated yet. I agree that it adds to the story to write her speech the way JKR did. Thank you so much for pointing it out :)
As for the dental clinic thing, you might be right. But I figured (like you) that this IS McGonnagall, after all. And that they wrote about in the Prophet, and that they explained what a dental clinic it. Had it been Ron, he probably would have referred to it as a "strange place where they clean Muggles' teeth", but I think McGonnagall would know a bit more than him ;) Also, she was in love with a Muggle when she was younger, so she might have learned some things back then.
Thank you so much for this lovely review! Once again, you've been both very helpful and encouraging, and I'm still smiling because I'm so flattered and so happy for those compliments! You are just awesome! :D Report Review
Oh my, such an exciting chapter!!! Ah, first of all the opening of the locket was so heartbreaking. It's so terrible how Voldy manipulates people's emotions and what's most important to them, like conjuring evil images of James and Lily. Harry's wondering if that's how their voices sounded was just so sad, and reminded me of in PoA when he kind of wanted to be near the Dementors to hear his mother's voice.
It's wild that Sirius handed himself in, but in a way not really surprising. They couldn't keep hiding forever, and eventually it was going to become too much for both of them. I really hope Sirius gets a free trial and has his name cleared, though I suspect that won't be happening for many, many chapters. Which is awesome, because the more chapters of this amazing story I have to read, the better! :)
I'm worried about Tonks and Remus! It seems so pointless that all this stuff with Greyback basically happened because Tonks was curious about the camps, and I feel like Greyback isn't going to rest until he catches her. I feel as if going to hide out at Remus' home probably wasn't the best course of action, but I don't blame Tonks for wanting to be around Remus since he's so kind and protective. I wonder how Remus will react when he finds out about Sirius being captured, and if he'll admit that he's been seeing Sirius and Harry! Ah, so much suspense! :)
I'm always so excited when I see you've updated this story. It's definitely one of my top three favourites on this site. Can't wait until next Sunday! :)Author's Response: Yay! I'm so glad you liked it! :D
I felt terrible writing that scene, simply because of what I was putting Harry and Sirius through. :S Voldemort is terrible that way; he's the one that killed Lily and James, and then he brings them back (in locket form) as a sort of emotional blackmail. :( I thought the same thing when I wrote this scene.
I was surprised; I'd intended to have them fight their way out but Sirius dug his heels in and refused to budge. The story isn't anywhere near over yet (you're right about many, many more chapters still to come), but that's all I'll say - I won't say whether Sirius gets his trial or not.
It's valid concern. :S Greyback's an absolute lunatic and you're right that he won't rest until he finds her. :/ It is weird that something as small as Tonks' visit to the camp managed to turn into this, but it's often the little things that have the biggest consequences. No, it probably wasn't, but they really didn't have many places left to hide. :(
You'll see some of Remus' reactions - but probably not as much as you'd hope to see - to the Harry-Sirius situation in the next chapter, so I won't say much about it now...
I'm in the top three?! Yay! Thank you! :D I'm nervously awaiting next Sunday too - I've got big plans for the next chapter. :S
Thank you so much for the review!
MarauderLover7. Report Review
So I think this is another awesome chapter. The dream at the beginning was very interesting: a flashback from Izzy's past? Foreshadowing of the future? I laughed out loud at the descriptions of her wild antics at the beginning: especially the swallowing goldfish bit though I felt a bit bad for laughing. Poor Mr Bubbles. It's funny that Sluggy hates her as well: I'm excited to see them clash in future chapters.
Hermione was sweet in giving Izzy a gift, and it's nice that she has Rose's family there to support her. It reminded me a bit of Harry and the Weasleys! I could tell that it actually did mean a lot to Izzy.
The party was really amusing! Something you did really skillfully there was integrate her characters smoothly into the action while giving a bit of background on them, like Jeremy and Cameron. It fit really nicely!
Hmm, drama does seem to follow Izzy wherever she goes, doesn't it? I'm definitely not a huge fan of Evil-Pants so far, though it was quite funny when he flicked a single speck of dirt from his v-neck. I think that said a lot about him! :P Also, it wasn't very gentlemanly of him to hit a girl, though she did assault him first which isn't OK either. Jeremy and Louis running to Izzy's rescue was sweet, though.
I'm excited to see what chaos ensues when they all return to Hogwarts, and if Izzy really is right about Rose and Scorpius! Great work!! :)Author's Response: I'm glad you liked this chapter! I definitely think we saw a 'slightly' gentler side of Izzy when Hermione gave her the gift, which was nice to write.
I really enjoyed writing the party scene - for a while I was worried it was TOO over the top, but then I realized that this who story is very exaggerated and over the top, so it kinda fit in!
Thank you again!
Courtney:) Report Review
So first of all, I'm really enjoying Molly's voice as a narrator. She's so sassy, but also very cynical, even when only addressing herself. I love how she was constantly contradicting her decision to meet him for the "not a date" lunch. She reminds me a bit of Percy, too, whens she says "I'm a professional Ministry worker," as if trying to reassure herself with the statement of these facts.
I love how she overanalyzes everything, like Campbell showing up later than her, but not too early. And then of course she thinks that she'll "try out" being later next time, like other people do, haha! And she's so cute when she realizes that she likes Campbell, and then tries to analyze why she likes him, and then analyzes why she's thinking about it! And now I'm analyzing her too! Gah!
It's very convincing how Campbell likes Molly because she's not obsessed with the idea of him. They like each other because they treat each other like normal people, and I feel like Campbell's spontaneousness (apparently that's a word!) and Molly's liking for organization will actually play off each other really well and make them more compatible.
This is such an original take on a romance, and I really like it so far!! And, I hope Molly gets to meet some dragons!! :DAuthor's Response: Hi!
I'm so pleased you like Molly as a narrator! I had so much fun writing her character and her thoughts. She does have a tendency to overanalyse absolutely everything, which makes it very difficult for her to do something like have a conversation with someone she doesn't know. There's also the problem that quite often, the filter between her brain and her mouth stops working and she sometimes finds herself saying things that normally would stay in someone's head!
I'm so happy you think it seems convincing for Campbell to like Molly, because even though they're very different they are compatible - in my head, anyway!
Thanks so much for coming back and leaving such a lovely review again! And as for Molly meeting some dragons - well, you'll just have to read on and see :P
Sian :) Report Review
I really like the world you've set up here, like I said in the last review. It's so original, and so dark, but also sadly realistic in a way. I really love Clara as a narrator so far: she seems like such a genuinely good, open-minded person, unlike so many of the power-tripping, bullying Muggleborns. It's really so interesting in your story how the tides have changed! I was wondering how the Muggleborns felt about entering the wizarding world at 11, and how they were so quick to exert their dominance over the "Pures." How did they learn about wizarding history, and when did the tradition of hatred begin? And why doesn't the outside wizarding world do something? But I'm sure you'll explain all those things in later chapters! :)
The romance growing between James and Clara is so adorable, though very tragic in a way. It's so strange to think of the children of Harry Potter being underdogs, but then again that's part of the charm of your story. I can really feel the tension and danger of this Hogwarts. Another intruiging bit is how Margaret and Clara are friends, whereas in the first chapter she was revealed as one of the killers!
Anyway, this is another amazing chapter and I'm so excited to read more of your both disturbing and enthralling story!! :DAuthor's Response: Hi, thanks so much for reviewing! I'm so glad you like the story/plot/darkness, I was admittedly very nervous about how people were going to receive it. Clara definitely isn't perfect but I wanted people to root for her! I will address your questions in future chapters but I will say that little eleven year olds are very...malleable.
This romance has been my favorite one to write out of all the stories I have on my computer even though it really is quite tragic, and I'm so happy you like it! Thanks again for reviewing, an update is coming soon! Report Review
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