I stumbled upon this story quite by chance and devoured it all in a couple of hours. I'm pretty sure you're quite fed up with hearing how good this story is and how it has all the right elements, the right balance, basically the right everything, but I must add my own bit of praise: This is truly a remarkable story!
I loved it all, from the neatly built plot to the depressing ending (and that's coming from a firm believer in Happily Ever After, mind that!).
Your characters were all excellently depicted (even the slightly oblivious Sirius, who was very refreshing I must say).
Marta was portrayed perfectly, a believable character. You didn't overly focus on her appearance/clumsiness/angst/name-perfectly-normal-trait-most-OC's-display-so-compulisively-it-gets-annoying, but instead built her as a character. You gave her a history, which gave her motives, and not a pleasant history at that, and yet you managed to make her cope with her life like any real person would: in her own way. In short, you made her human.
Benjamin. It goes without saying that he is also another excellently painted character. What I particularly loved about this character was your skill in giving him an evil nature without it seeming artificial or predictable. From his slightly mercurial nature that made him almost normal (I won't go so far as to call him human) and even likeable, to the evil he is, when at last he shows his true colours, how he apparently changes, grows even through the story to it all being revealed as deception, all of it made him an amazing and unique character. I must admit I understood this story was not going to have a happy ending the second he showed his sadistic nature (I think it was ch.18 if I'm not mistaken).
And you earn some more praise for that too. You prepared the reader for a dramatic ending. By the end of the story you made us hate Benjamin and empathise with Marta's helplessness. And the way she accepted her fate, sacrificing herself for the lives of her friends and the lives of people she barely spoke to, well it speaks volumes on your maturity as a writer. You gave Marta a horrible life, but did so with philosophy. You wrote a story that said something to the reader and left said reader with something to think upon. And that I believe is what every writer aspire to.
Well, I hope my review was not too long. I shall embark upon the sequel now. :)Author's Response: Rest assured, I could never get tired of positive feedback! :) I simply do my best!
I always like going into a story with a good idea on where I'm going to end up. I develop the middle part of the story as I go, but I wanted this story to be different in many ways, including this tragic ending. It's fantastic hearing how you like it despite your fondness for happy endings!
Thank you so much for your praise on Marta and Benjamin! You've pretty much summed up how I write characters- I treat them like people that could actually exist. Well, except Benjamin. I wouldn't want him to really exist in real life.
I hope you don't think I'm mean or cruel, but I enjoyed writing the ending. I had many people like Benjamin at the beginning, but as I got closer to finishing the story the Benjamin fans started falling out of love with him. But I knew after a while that Marta's character didn't have the strength to be rid of Benjamin for good. It wouldn't be realistic for her. I'm glad to hear that you understand her sacrifice and the reasons behind it.
Thank you so very much for leaving a review with your wonderful thoughts! It certainly wasn't too long! I hope you enjoy the sequel! Report Review
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