Reading Reviews From Member: randomwriter
301 Reviews Found

Review #1, by randomwriterYou're Not Alone: Prologue

10th August 2015:
Kate! Hello. I don't know if you remember this, but you left me the most wonderful review on one of my stories, called the earth and the sky, and I've been meaning to return the favour ever since. Aren't surprise reviews the best? ^_^

Onto the story, wow. Just wow. When I clicked on the story shell, I really was not prepared for this. I am a huge fan of this ship and love writing them in many different ways, but this is a take on Rose that I've ever personally attempted. Mental illness is an extremely intriguing and sensitive topic, and I've always been interested in such things. I can't wait to see where you take this.

I think that this was an excellent attempt at a prologue. It was strong, suspenseful and very, very powerful. You introduced depression in a subtle way, enough to get us into it, but not so much that it seems too heavy for a start. Also, length-wise, it made sense to me. You don't want a novel length prologue ;)

Your introduction spoke volumes. You could have easily just said that Ron barely cries. Instead, you employed the show-not-tell technique, and I really appreciated that. It's so much more interesting to me, as a reader. Also, the specific instances you chose played an integral role in giving us a peek into the characters, their lives and their relationships.

The stroke was scary, even though you dealt with it briefly. I was so relieved to see that you didn't kill Arthur off right there. My grandmum's sister has had three pretty severe strokes and I know how much it takes to recover from them. The second instance, where Ron was crying because he was hungry really made me laugh. Genius, that! It's so Ron! It was also a nice burst of comedy, in an an otherwise intense chapter.

Your characterisation of Rose intrigued me a lot. It's clear that she's close to Ron. At this point, we don't know much about her relationship with Hermione or Hugo. We can sort of tell that there's still a great sense of family amongst even the extended family in the Weasley clan. As a person, we haven't had too much of an insight into her life. Just that, I feel like she's a caring person, a little stubborn too, maybe. But what really got me was the last bit of the chapter. What could be so bad as to have pushed her over the edge? I'm curious to know, but at the same time, I'm already feeling quite sorry for her.

Your writing is really nice. It's very simple. It flows smoothly. It's a light read in terms of the language (though emotionally not so much), and I couldn't see any glaring errors. What I did feel could have been improved was your description in certain places. I felt like you could have tried your hand into delving deeper and exploring some of the complex emotions you've brought out here, but just on the surface. Themes like grief and helplessness will probably come into play later. You could describe them in terms of how they make you feel, how they incite you to feel about others, what actions do they prompt, etc. Also, in this chapter, I felt like there were a couple of places where you could have used dialogues rather than just telling us (like when she was told to go upstairs), but that, of course, is a minor complaint from my side.

Since I see nothing else on your page, I must ask. Is this your first fanfic? If it is, it is the most brilliant effort. Kudos on being brave enough to try something this intense on your first go. If it isn't, it's still a damn good story, and I can't wait to see what happens next.

Please update soon. I await eagerly :)

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Review #2, by randomwriterFairytalesque: The Fairy Godmother

19th July 2015:
House Cup 2015!
Gryffindor ♥

This is officially my favourite story of yours so far, Katie. This deserves some serious praise, and it's a shame that I hadn't heard of this earlier!

I love your characterisation of both Snape and Lily in this. What really struck out is how you've used canonical information, but put your own spin on it. we all know Snape's parents fought, we know that Lily befriended Snape, while Petunia didn't, etc. But here, you've also painted Lily in a similar light, and that makes sense. Beyond him telling her that she is a witch and showing her how much they have in common, there's also this compelling reason that pushed her towards him. She needed a friend pretty badly. And you can tell that he's the same Snape we know, but you've evolved their relationship as you pleased by making him less doting than the usual take on child-Snape that we see. I can see these characters growing up to be who they were in the books. I'm excited to see how you develop their relationship as your story moves forward. I'm a little sad that there's only one more chapter up so far.

You're a brilliant writer. You've written a lot of different types of stories with the same level of skill. I enjoy how crisp your writing is despite the amount of information you convey. Your writing is well edited, and the words clearly work well.

I have plenty more to say, but I'm trying to keep it short. Feel free to PM me if you'd like to know anything about anything I've read :) Great work!


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Review #3, by randomwriterFairytalesque: It Inciting Tragedy

19th July 2015:
Gryffindor for the Cup (2015)!

Oh my, Katie. This story is seriously drawing me in. I love how you manage to still keep the dark and mysterious tone alive in this as well.

The first section was simple. I liked David and Ruth. They are, as you point out, average people leading average lives. I also completely got Ruth as she was satisfied, but not overjoyed with the life she was leading. We all, at least I feel, strive to be great. We want to leave an impression. So I understand why Ruth felt that way. Also, I may not be a mother, but I also thought that er desire for her daughters to be something more than her was realistic. I've often seen a lot of parents project their unfulfilled wishes on their offspring. Here, she didn't ask anything of them. Rather, she hoped that they'd be great, and that, I get.

I also thought that, that section was quite sweet. It was nothing extra ordinary. I loved how described David and Ruth's love, and how you portrayed motherhood, and her love for her children. You managed to tell us the story of a whole lifetime in so few words, and you did it so well, without compromising on emotion at all.

When it comes to the second section, the whole thing changed. Of course we know who Lily is, or rather what she is. But I can imagine how Ruth must have felt when her exquisitely talented girl took a turn for what she believes is the worst. It was painful to read about it, almost.

What saddened me the most was how the same mother who loved and doted on her child in the first section deemed her a tragedy in the next. I don't blame her, not yet. She doesn't know what's happening, and it's natural to be worried. I just hope she doesn't do anything cruel.

As for the tone, the second section was as chilling as the first section was sweet and simple. But I loved it. I love that you've written this thing that is slowly becoming consuming in nature, and I like how're ending it in cliffhangers, because I enjoy suspense.

Great job, Katie ♥ I have so much to say, but not enough time, so I shall march on!

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Review #4, by randomwriterFairytalesque: Prolouge: Once Upon a Time

19th July 2015:
I almost forgot to mention after this breathtaking prologue, but this is for the House Cup 2015, and I am from Gryffindor.

Wow, Katie. This took a sudden turn from everything of yours that I've read. But I love dark, mysterious things. So this is a possible favourite. In fact, I've already favourited it ^_^

I had to go back to the story shell to check if this was actually a James/Lily after reading the chapter, and now, I do feel like it may be. And that only makes me more curious to see how you integrate that into this.

My mind is burning with questions. Is Lily the narrator? How does she fall for James? Did she fall out of love with him? Who is this muggle boy? I suppose I'll have to wait for answers, but this was so worth reading.

Your writing here is absolutely perfect. And some lines just caught me, and I actually had to stop and appreciate how great they were. I can't possibly list all of them back to you without feeling as if I'm just quoting the whole chapter. But I'll give you an example:
I miss believing in the possibility of them. This is a seemingly normal sentence in the middle of a paragraph. But I just felt like it help so much weight. The moment someone stops believing in fairy tales is always a big one, in terms of growing up and understanding reality. It's clear the protagonist has lead a difficult life and she repeats on numerous occasions that she has grown up before her time. But to me, that line summed the whole thing up perfectly.

The last sentence too was pretty clever. It left me feeling so much, and while it's definitely not nice being on the receiving end of that, I can appreciate it for how the line serves as a perfect closing for this prologue.

I really, really need to know what happened to this woman, but I'll hold off. I'm upset that I can't stop to give you a whole review, like I noramlly would when I come across something this brilliant, but the House Cup calls for certain things. Let it be known that I thoroughly enjoyed this, and that I have no criticism, only curiosity. In that regard, it was the perfect prologue. But in all, I enjoyed it. Great job ♥

Author's Response: Oh my goodness, I'm so flattered by this!

I stopped writing this story because it didn't get very much praise, and honestly, I don't think I had quite the skill I needed to pull it off the way I wanted to, but I think I'll have to start reviving it :)

Thank you so much for this.

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Review #5, by randomwriterHappiness: The Eye of the Beholder

19th July 2015:
House Cup 2015!

Katiee, I'm back! I'm sorry, but I'm going to keep this one short as well!

Once again, I think I'm going to be a parrot and tell you how much I love James and how caring and sensitive he can be. The fact that he's asking deeper questions beyond what he can see makes me happy. It shows how much he cares for Lily and her actual happiness, and not just the facade she's forced to put up. I also love how you've written Lily. She's strong, but not cold. She still needs James, but she can hold her own. It's very Lily, for me.

One thing that could make it better that it is, in my opinion, is if you included some more details. Lily mentions their kids and grandkids. So maybe you can elaborate a bit?Are they expecting at this stage? If yes, you can add something about that. If not, you can talk about what they'd want for the world to be when their kids live in it or something like that? I'd also love a few more details about the war, their role and things like that. Of course, there's nothing wrong with the story. It's just that details like that would make me happy :p

I love your writing, as usual. The descriptions of Lily in the beginning were excellent and helped me picture her as James was thinking and speaking. Great choice of words too!

All in all, this was just as adorable and lovely as everything you write ♥

Author's Response: WOW You really have made it through the depths of my page! I think this is the oldest story I have up. I'm really glad you like it! Definitely sweet, and it's nice to have some of those fics hanging around when this ship is always so tragic.

Adding a bit of detail is definitely a great idea! I'll have to go through these old stories and edit so I can get them up to scratch with my newer stuff!

Thanks for the review!

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Review #6, by randomwriterFirst Kiss: First Kiss

19th July 2015:
House Cup 2015

Hi Katie, so I'm back to read an alternate version of James and Lily's first kiss. I will try to keep this shorter though. I'm awfully bad at that, but I must learn.

I'm amazed by how you wrote the same situation in two completely different ways. In your previous story, Lily was very vulnerable, and James could have taken control. Here, you flipped the situation on its head and made James the vulnerable one. I was impressed by how different the situations were, and how you managed to write them both so well.

I felt really warm and fuzzy when I read this. It was so sweet, and it made me smile from ear to ear. Even though it was a bit predictable, I still felt like I was reading something new and fresh.

In addition to that, I really enjoyed how you wrote them as co-heads. You took a popular cliche, but gave it your own touch, and that really worked here.

Both James and Lily were incredibly sweet here. The fact that he waited for her, and that she went for it was so perfect. Though I don't get girls and their need to spread rumours either. Also, I don't mean to generdise this, but I rarely find guys waiting for their first times to be special. The fact that James, who is often portrayed as a playboy of sorts did, made it all better.

If I had one piece of advise, I'd say that the opening para could be slightly clearer. It could possible sound like Lily was the one who kissed Frank. :p

All that aside, this was a lovely story, and I'm glad that the HC is giving me the opportunity to actually read so much of your work ♥

Author's Response: If it helps, I wrote them pretty far apart :)

I'm glad you enjoyed this, even though it was a bit cliche and predictable. I feel like I wrote this a lifetime ago, so it's nice to see that my older stuff is standing up!

I will definitely look at that paragraph again. Thanks for pointing it out! :)

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Review #7, by randomwriterYet: Yet

19th July 2015:
Gryffindor for House Cup 2015!

Hi again, Katie! I'm quite intent on marathoning your work by now. I have loved all your stories so far!

This was another cute, little one-shot. And it gave me butterflies. From start to finish, you maintained the tone of the story rather well, and I really loved reading it :)

I love the emotion you've created in both your characters, and your reader, by extension. There's something serene about the whole thing. The setting, the feel, the expressions... everything is so calm and peaceful. This is a side of James Potter that I've never seen before, so it was a refreshing change to see you write him like that :)

I love how neither of them said it, even till the end. But it felt like they were both certainly in love, and had been for a long, long time. It was so strongly present through the entire story, from start to finish.

I love your descriptions of the setting, and of the night. It was almost as if I was right there with James and Lily, on the damp grass, under the stars. I could see it and feel it, and even smell it as I read this, and I think that's the hallmark of great writer!

Finally, your handle on the second person point of view is so smooth. Sometimes, I find that the writing can be rather awkward, but not here. You clearly know what you're doing :)

I'd love to hang around, but I'm trying to write sliightly shorter reviews since it's the House Cup :p So, I'll see you on your page soon! Keep up the good work.

Author's Response: I really appreciate this marathon of yours :)

I'm glad you enjoyed this! it's definitely one of my fluffier pieces, so I was a little afraid it would come off as too much. I'm glad it didn't.

Second person POV is my favorite to write in! I wish I could do it more often...

Thanks again!

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Review #8, by randomwriterStaring: Staring

19th July 2015:
Gryffindor for House Cup 2015!

Hey Katie, toldya I'd be back son!

This was a bit fluffier than everything of your I've read so far, not that I'm complaining, of course! But I do prefer the other ones, I think. Maybe it's my mood. Those were a bit more lighthearted. That being said, I'm falling deeper in love with your characters. One thing I've noticed is that you tend to centre the focus of your story on just the primary characters, and I think that works extremely well for you. Your characterisation is one of your stronger suites, and so when you focus on just a couple of people, it completely shines through.

Your descriptions in this are fantastic. I could feel Lily's anger, her blushing, her feeling won over... and those lines. I would have fallen for then even if I didn't know James! But we all know how much he loves Lily, so it's okay :p But yes, the stuff he says to her are really sweet and intense. You've won both dialogue and description here!

I think this is my favourite in terms of writing. It really showcases how you can balance a multitude of writing styles really well. It's very easy to read despite how strong the emotions are, and that's something I always fail at so, erm. TEACH ME YOUR SKILLS WILL YOU?

All the gushing aside, I really enjoyed this fic. And I've changed my mind about preferring your other stories to it. It's all the same. Lovely work! :)

Author's Response: Yay! I like having you around :)

Thank you for pointing out that bit about using a few characters. It's definitely something I've noticed in my writing, but I always thought it was a bit more of a weakness than anything. I'm glad it works here, at least!

Ahh! And thank you for the compliment about my writing!

This whole review is making me smile so hard. I'm blushing a little.

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Review #9, by randomwriterIf You Want To: If You Want To

19th July 2015:
Hey Katie ♥ For someone who isn't a big fan of writing fluff, I'm really enjoying reading it. Also, James/Lily is one of my weaknesses. I can't stop now that I've found your page :p

Oh, in case I forget in the end. This is for the 2015 House Cup, and I'm here for Gryffindor.

I really enjoyed your take on their first kiss. One of the primary reasons is because you actually wrote about the entire build up and the events leading to it. I often find that when people do this first kiss thing, they describe the kiss in detail, and leave out the part where they actually get to kissing, which seems to defeat the purpose in fiction because I'm interested in knowing the characters and their mindsets and everything.

I love, love, love your James far too much. Is it even possible for someone to be that sweet and understanding anymore? I really like that he didn't take advantage of her, and that he was sweet enough to wait. And I like that Lily recognises that.

As always, I really enjoyed your characterisation. I think it's interesting to see someone write Lily this way. She's always so in control in fic, but I like how you showed a more vulnerable side of her; a side that actually needs a small push to take that big step towards what she wants. James, as I already said, is wonderful. You can clearly tell how much he cares. Can I have a James please? ♥ Also, about their relationship, I love how you wrote them in the morning after. They are so comfortable with each other, and that says a lot about how they are with each other.

Overall, this was another brilliant read. I've had a couple of difficult weeks. I've been extremely busy, and I'be been collapsing from exhaustion a lot. Your stories are exactly what I needed at the end of this hard period :) Thank you!

Author's Response: Ah! I'm very happy you're enjoying my page. It's always so nice to find someone who loves your ship as much as you do!

I'm so glad you enjoyed this story :)

Thank you so much for the review!

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Review #10, by randomwriterUnited We Stand: United

19th July 2015:
Hey Katie! I'm back for more Jily because I enjoyed your last one so much! As always, Gryffindor for the House Cup 2015!

Let me start off by stating that I am very, very bad at this. There are sports I love to death and can watch for hours... and then there's football. I've never understood it. And whatever I do know is because my brother's a die-hard ManUtd fan and this guy I used to date is a Liverpool person through and through. So yeah, I was a bit out of depths. But that didn't get to me one bit. I still enjoyed this story a great deal. I think your Quidditch analogies actually helped, really :p Initially I was confused. But when I read it again, I was like, 'Oh my, why don't people explain it this way?' So yes, clever writing ;)

Again, I enjoyed your characterisation of both James and Lily, and their relationship too. I like how comfortable they are despite coming from such different worlds, and it's also nice to see how they're taking an interest in each others' lives, Lily (with Quidditch), and James (with Football). I knew he'd like it though. He loves quidditch and plays and strategy too much to not appreciate any sport, I think. They're there for each other all the time, and that puts a smile on my face. Their relationship is so easy-going. They joke so much, and that's exactly how I'd picture them being. I also liked seeing how James and Russell got along (at least to whatever extent I could tell). Overall, just enjoyed everything about characterisation here.

That reference to Fleetwood Mac in the beginning... I'll give you points for that, I will. *nods yes* But the ending, oh god did you have to add that tiny bit about not being able to go another match? I will cry, Katie.

Your writing had a nice flow to it, as with the last one. It was simple, and it felt like one, good connected piece. Great job on this! I'm going to dive right back in :)

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Review #11, by randomwriterRemnant of a Muggle Life: Dancing

19th July 2015:
Katie ♥ I've never read any of your stories before, but 2015 House Cup has finally brought me to your page. I'm here from Gryffindor!

Oh my god. Why have I never read anything by you? It makes no sense to me. I love James/Lily. They're one of my OTPs (ignore the fact that you're supposed to have ONE OTP), and I always love reading about them.

Since this is about music, I'll start with that. I love your song/band references. Who doesn't like The Beatles or Queen? *glares at James* And that reference in the end? One the good die young? Smart way to sneak it in ;) But also, ending it on that note made me slightly sad inside because it is so true in the case of James and Lily. two very good people who die far before their time.

I like how you integrated Lily's muggle life into her wizard world. If I were to ever get that Hogwarts Acceptance letter, I know that I will not part with my playlist, so I get where she's coming from!

The way you write their relationship is 100% compliant with my headcanon, and I loved reading about them like that. I think that they're both serious about their work. But at the same time, they're goofy and silly together, and like to unwind. I like that they give each other some space to do their own things. I also like how each of them unwinds. And basically everything else about your characterisation ♥

Your writing is lovely. I struggle a bit with fluff, but for you, it didn't seem like a problem at all. I really enjoyed the flow and everything.

All in all, great job, and I will re-visit your page more often :)

Author's Response: Thank you for your kind words! I'm so glad you enjoyed this, it's definitely one of my favorite pieces. The 70s were SUCH a great time for music and I use any excuse I can to integrate it. :)

And I'm glad they comply with your headcanon! I tend to write them a bit differently than people expect, so I'm glad they came across well in this one.

Thank you for the review!

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Review #12, by randomwriterA Black Christmas: A Black Christmas

19th July 2015:
Hello Chiara :) I don't believe I've ever reviewed your work before, but I'm here for the House Cup 2015 from Gryffindor, and I thought it might be a good time to start.

I really love the idea behind this. A formal dinner between all the Blacks is hardly a possibility in canon (they'd kill each other before they could even get seated), but it's fun to think about what could have happened. It's a really funny thought :p

I loved your characterisation. Sirius, and his wise-quips and blood traitor-y remarks makes your take on him so believable. Regulus is such a goody-two-shoes, but I can see that happening. I love how Andromeda is there despite what people think and say, and I love that she leaves of her own accord. It's very like her. Dora and her purple hair and the engh is just a cute presence in this story. Bella is on-point with her prejudiced remarks, and it's clear that Cissy misses her sister. But despite packing all of these details in, you still managed to maintain the humour in this piece.

Speaking of humour, there were certain instances where I literally laughed out loud. I'd love to cite them, but HC reviews, so I can't spend too much time. But the banker/goblin confusion was certainly one place where that happened. (Your father is a goblin? HAHA)

Your writing was simple and nice. The flow was also pretty good; smooth. I like that you managed to keep it that way despite this being humourous. I see some people struggling with that sort of thing.

Anyway, great work on this ♥ I'll be back to read more of your work later!

Author's Response: Hello!

Oh, thank you so much!!! I'm so glad you enjoyed this story!

I know... Crazy, isn't it? I wanted to see what would happen putting them all together... It was so fun to write! Killing each other, you say? I don't think so. I'm quite sure Walburga would find it inappropriate...

I'm glad you liked the characters. I tried to put in everything that we know from canon. I'm so happy it all worked well!!! And yes, Dora is so cute, isn't she?

The bankers/goblins passage is one of my favourites! Ahahah!

Thank you so much, it's such a relief that the flowing was smooth and that the humour worked as well!

Thank you so much for stopping by, and feel free to visit my AP whenever you want! :)

Many hugs,

PS. Don't you happen to be willing to give a little hint to solve the riddle?
Just a tiny little one? Please? Pretty, pretty please?

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Review #13, by randomwriterHow to Fly: How to Fly

16th July 2015:
Hello Beth ♥ I know I'm here far too late, but in between waiting for Curie and managing my hectic schedule, I've had little time. Still, I know that no excuse is acceptable. Sorry :(

Onto the review... where do I even start? This may be a short one, but it's jampacked with so much meaning and feels... I can't even begin to express how impressed I am that you managed to convey all of this in so few words. It's a skill I envy you for. And yes, it may not be lengthy, but you certainly got all the emotions spot on.

I love that you chose to write about Rose and Hermione. Mother-daughter relationships are so rarely explored in fanfiction, and this made me especially happy. Also, you've chosen a couple of personal favourites ;) So yay!

I love the structure of this. It's so repetitive, but in a unique manner. Each time you repeat that beautiful line (Iíve ridden on the back of a thestral, a hippogriff, a dragon.), there's something different about Rose, and the relationship she and Hermione share. It's almost like this thought enters her mind every time something crucial is happening in a new stage of her daughter's life, if that makes sense. It also shows how their relationship develops.

The premise of the story itself is extremely sweet :) I was smiling throughout. I also enjoyed your characterisation, and your constant references to how Rose is the perfect mix of both her parents.

Your writing in this piece is lovely. It's so simple, and yet you manage to convey every single emotion so well. It's simply beautiful, and I'm still in awe of how you managed that. I also think that the simple nature of the writing fits really well into the context of it being a mother-daughter story.

My favourite parts include the bit where you mentioned how Hermione taught (but really learnt long with) Rose to fly, and the last bit. Those two lines in end are pure genius.

Really, really enjoyed this, Beth ♥ Good work!

Author's Response: Hiya!

Aww, thank soo much for this review! I think the best part of the Gift-It challenge (for me, at least) was that the person I gifted this to was so incredibly honored and surprised by it. Also, I never wrote anything *for* anyone before, so it was special for me too. And if I'm being totally honest, I also wrote this story for my own children a bit as well - at least they were some of the inspiration that I drew from to write it.

I can't tell you what a lovely surprise it was to wake up this morning and see this review! Thank you so much - I really, really enjoyed writing this story and I also love to hear how people feel about it when they read it.


♥ Beth

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Review #14, by randomwriterGame On: Volume II: Cat and Mouse - UnluckyStar57 - Ravenclaw

6th July 2015:
Hello Mallory :)

Wowowow. This is so different from anything I've ever read. Ever. I think you did a great job with it because everything, every word was unexpected.

I love Mcgonagall, but I've never thought of her this way. I've always thought her human personality would colour how she behaves as a cat, which made the contrast you brought out so much more interesting. Also, kittens are rarely playful creatures, which also made this surprising. But in some weird sort of way, yes. It worked. Also, we know what happened with Dougal, and that probably made her more stern than before later, even as a cat?

I like how you cleverly turned a game of the cat chasing the string into a proper game here, and the idea of connecting it with her little crush was absolutely genius. Kuudos for thinking of innovative ways to integrate the plot into the story,

It was a little silly, but that's not a bad thing at all. It made me smile so much :) Great job, Mallory, and I look forward to reading more of your work.

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Review #15, by randomwriterThe New Creative Arts Department: that time when rose weasley smiled at me

27th June 2015:
House Cup 2015

Lisa! As I mentioned in the chapter written by Joey, I've had my eye on this for a good while, and I'm really glad I got to read this (thank you, House Cup!). As I mentioned in my first chapter, I'm already in love with it, and I'm going to favourite it after this review, so please update it soon? :p

I really, really like reading this from Scorpius' point of view. I have a soft spot for Scorpius Malfoy as a character in any role in any story, so I was beyond excited when I saw that this was his chance at a narrative. I also really like this style that you've adopted where you're switching POVs between Rose and Scorpius. I think their inner voices compliment each other well, if that makes sense. If it doesn't, note that it is 5 AM here :p And I'll use that as my excuse.

Speaking of complimentary things, your writing styles (yours and Joey's) match really well too. You've both got this hilarious dialogue thing down, so I love that you're working together on this.

On the dialogue front, you did not disappoint. I think I tell you this every time I leave you a review, but I just love your dialogue writing skills. I wish I could write speech like you do. My favourite bit was that exchange in the beginning (dictator/monarchy whaat). HAHAHA. I totally cracked up at that.

I love how Rose is running her brainchild. She seems efficient. In fact, the whole team had a lot of clarity from the word go considering it didn't take them too much time to decide and assign. I can't wait for more on this front.

Also, Scorpius' little crush on Rose is so incredibly sweet ♥ I love Scorpius/Rose, and I can't wait for developments! Also, I'm really appreciative of how well you've written trans Scorpius. It's very subtle, but it's there. I like that you didn't make it overly obnoxious, because though he is trans, that doesn't have to define him. There's so much more to him, and you showed that clearly.

Your writing is perfect for this sort of stuff really, so there's no point in me elaborating. It's too good.

I can't wait for this to be updated. Please get on it? :p

♥ Thoroughly enjoying it!

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Review #16, by randomwriterThe New Creative Arts Department: that time when i started a newspaper

27th June 2015:
House Cup 2015!

Hello Joey! Another chapter of yours to review :) I've had my eye on this for a while now, and House Cup is a great time to make progress on your R&R goals, so well, here I am!

Oh wow. This is the BEST! I love next gen, and Rose and Scorpius are my favourites, so I was in from the moment she introduced herself. It only got better and better after that.

I loved your characterisation. Rose seems so dry, and that really works with my headcanon. Also, it seems like she has a good sense of humour. I know we haven't seen much of Scorpius yet, but I'm loving the details you've included about him here. Teddy, as the clueless and scatterbrained teacher is rather endearing. I'm sure Rose will continue to take advantage of his lack of a plan :p But I can't be too annoyed about it. I love her idea of the school paper as much as I love her brash, self-assured attitude.

My most favourite thing about this is the dialogue. It's incredibly well written and smooth. And I love how you've included snippets of everyone's conversations. They were all just so funny, but I swear, I just about lost it at that aasthma line! HAHAHA :D So well, 10/10 for dialogue. Plus, I want lessons on how to dialogue. You're hilarious!

I love that this is so well written overall. It reads well, really easy. And I love how you manage to shift scenes (well, not the literal scene here) so easily.

I also completely adore the idea of a creative arts department, as well things like theatre and painting. It looks like Hogwarts is evolving to become more liberal (or to include liberal arts), which I think is great! These things make for great next gen stories, and I can't wait to read more of yours. Great job! Looking forward to this :D

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Review #17, by randomwriterYou: give life to those scathing words and confrontations--the world could use a few more complications

27th June 2015:
House Cup 2015! Gryffindor!

Hello Joey! I've been meaning to read your stories for quite some time now, but I've never actually made it here, so this was the perfect opportunity to chip away at my reading list.

When I began reading this, I was quite surprised. Lysander/Louis isn't something I've seen before, and yet, it made sense on some level, especially with the way you've characterised the two of them. I love how events in their lives, independent of their relationship, actually affects their relationship in the end. It's how real life often plays out.

This was also very relatable. As someone who has been in an on-and-off relationship before, I completely understood where these two were coming from. It's really easy to fall back into old patterns or seek the other person because you're comfortable relying on them. I think you've captured that aspect really well.

I also like how your inclusion of diversity was quite subtle. Sometimes, I find that authors tend to pack a lot of diversity in their stories without giving much thought to how to effectively weave it into the story so that it doesn't stand out in an obvious manner. I didn't see that here. It was well written and was seamlessly connected to the plot and narrative.

I enjoyed how you managed to capture a vast timeline in so few words. It gave us a more complete understanding of their relationship without coming off as too expository.

Your writing is gorgeous. The descriptions are so vivid and I loved how you included mentions of seasons. I love it when writers do that. I think it's a beautiful tool, and works really well as a metaphor. I also liked how you interspersed your narrative with those italicised lines. They were really meaningful too! :)

Rolf's selective mutism was a nice inclusion. It was really heartwarming to see how you included more diversity. While some may say that Lysander was harsh in his dealing with it, I think it's quite natural for him to not fully understand/or to have lived with it so long that he's gotten used to it.

Overall, this was a lovely one-shot. I'm afraid I can't hang around and say more like I'd have liked to. You know, stories to review! But great job :) Especially on the ending. Put a smile on my face!

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Review #18, by randomwriterWorship You: Storm

20th June 2015:
House Cup 2015

Hello there, Sian! :) I've had my eye on this for a while, and I decided that this is the perfect opportunity to read and review it.

I think I'm being a massive parrot, but I'm going to say it again anyway. Your writing is the best thing ever. It's so beautiful, and your descriptions... argh! How can anything be this perfect?!

This piece is so original. I've never read this pairing before, and the idea intrigues me. I love Bellatrix as a villain. She's so dark, strong and powerful, and it's interesting how you conveyed that through your description of her. Also, I love how you just gave us hints, and not actual names. Sinistra and Bellatrix, how interesting!

I'm so impressed with how you managed this. I've never even been able to manage the Every Word Counts challenge, but you did that, and you wrote this without using the letter 'e'. I can't imagine doing that. I mean, you can't even use the simplest of words like 'the'! This must have taken you quite some time, but then again, with talent like yours, I wouldn't be surprised if it didn't.

Sian, I loved this. The last line was an amazing way to end this piece. It is burned into my mind now. Great job, as always. You're the best at this. ♥

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Review #19, by randomwriterFeel Again: Feel Again

20th June 2015:
House Cup 2015

Hello Tanya! I was going to find my way here eventually :p I'm glad I chose this though. I don't really know what to say. It was really, really angsty, and I felt so bad for James. I also felt scared and vulnerable because I didn't know what happened to him, but I knew it must be serious if they had to shift him to Mungo's right away. In all that chaos and fear, I was ready to scream in frustration when the Slytherins started clapping. I thought that was horrible... until the yells of 'Get Well Soon' started. That was such a wonderful moment. It really broke a smile out on my face. I think that you handled it was extremely clever. You didn't diminish how powerful the moment was. And the last part? Where the Weasleys and Potters came into the frame was also a great idea. It actually unified everyone, including the people close to him, even though they had reason to be mad against the Slytherins.

All in all, this was well written. Powerful. Touching. I love how you handled such a complex mix of emotions in so few words. And
your writing was wonderful. Great work, Original Tanya ♥

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Review #20, by randomwriterMy Little Girl: My Little Girl

20th June 2015:
Hello Duckie/Sarah :) I'm here to review for Gryffindor for the House Cup 2015! (I feel like that was worded weirdly :S)

Anyway, I've never heard this song, but when I saw that it was a song fic, I played it as a I read it, and it really worked get me into the mood.

This was really sweet. I'm a huge fan of Teddy/Victoire, but I think what I loved the most was how you kept them in focus without it being about them at all. It was a moment for Bill to share with his daughter. All the emotions and thoughts that were flowing into his head were so touching. It's clear that he cares about her beyond anything else, and would do anything for her happiness.

I love how you showed us pictures and snapshots from her 21 years of life before this day. There weren't too many details, but it was easy to get a sense of how she was raised and how she became who she is.

There were also some funny/cute moments in this. Like, Teddy's hair being the 'something blue' and Bil being certain about going after Teddy with a beaters bat if he hurt his precious little Victoire.

I think these are moments that every father goes through at some time (though I wouldn't know personally how it feels to go through them :p), and it was sweet to read through this. My smile never left my face.

Oh, and it fits the song so perfectly. Great job :)

Author's Response: Hi! I was so surprised to see a review on this since I wrote it so long ago. I've totally forgotten most of what I wrote in it, so your review is a bit of a reminder! This is probably one of the fluffiest fics I've ever written.

I love Teddy/Victoire. As soon as I heard this song I knew it fit them. And Bill, of course. I'm glad you liked the little moments! Thanks for reading and reviewing! :)

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Review #21, by randomwriterkisses-blood-valentine: Ballad of Evvie and Bernie

20th June 2015:
House Cup 2015

Hey Rose! I've heard so much about this story over the last few months, and I'm glad that I finally got a chance to check it out. You're right. It's a bit weird, but weird is so rarely a bad thing, and yours certainly is nowhere close to bad.

I think there's this thing that happens when you read a story like this. At first, you're a bit jumbled and confused and you don't know what exactly just happened. But then, when you think about it, something suddenly clicks, and you sit back and marvel at how beautifully it all fits.

I love how you've used non-linear narration. It just adds to the effect when you finally get it, and I'm honestly so in love with that style right now. It's gorgeous.

This is what I think happened: Benjy was involved with the Order, fighting Dark wizards. Bernie and Evvie were involved and were so in love. The Death Eaters targeted Bernie to get to Benjy and/or because of her involvement with a muggle. They imperiused her into killing Evvie. That would explain all the blood on her hands (see what I did there?). It would also explain why she's in Azkaban, and why they call her 'innocent' in the end.

It took me a while to get all that, but I think I'm decently right?

The love that Bernie and Evvie share is so natural and it's lovely to read about. I'm sure Evvie would have accepted the magic. She seems open minded. I was also surprised to see how she doesn't get along with her twin. We rarely see that. But at the same time, it's evident that he cares for her and is concerned about her safety.

Your writing is so wonderful. I love the imagery and the colours and everything. Gah, you make me jealous with your clever plotlining and gorgeous writing! Great job, Rose ♥

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Review #22, by randomwriterclipped wings: the quickening.

20th June 2015:
House cup 2015

Hello Sian! I'm so glad you updated this in the few hours that have passed. I'm sort of addicted, and I got here as soon as I possible!

This was almost painful to read. Since we see this story through Hepzibah's thoughts and actions, I think, as readers, we can't fail to sympathise with her and feel for her. It's so hard to see someone fall like that. I don't know what exactly she did, but was it just the news that she slept with him? Because she doesn't seem to have done anything else. Maybe rumours spread?

I can't believe Edmund turned out to be such a horrible man. His love for her seemed so genuine. Was it all a trap? Or did he actually believe the rumours? Whatever it is, the whole situation is so unfair to Hepzibah. And her family turning their backs on her was a hard hit too. She had nobody left by the end of it.

I can imagine why she wants cut herself off from the circle. It would probably be embarrassing to attend it if all she's going to hear are remarks about herself.

I need to know what happens next. Poor Hepzibah! And it can't be easy in an overly involved society, especially when the people who ruined your life run in the same circles. I wonder what made Edmund go to Honoria so easily. But maybe because in my mind, Hornoria is a right pig.

I don't think Hepzibah will bring herself to attend the wedding. But I feel like she should. It'd make for a very strong statement.

Once again, your writing is fantastic. It's so smooth flowing, and words are just perfect. I love how each chapter is a short burst of emotion and each is so much more vivid than the last.

Your writing is so, so lovely. Please update soon? ♥

Author's Response: Hi again, Adi! ♥

I'm so pleased that you could sympathise with Hepzibah here, and the situation that she found herself in - this is angst, after all, and I'm so happy that you like Hepzibah enough to feel for her and care for her. She's in such a terrible situation and of course part of it is through her own making, but nevertheless it's so unfair and such a product of the time.

Edmund is... a complicated character. I've had so much fun writing him in this story because it's been really interesting to explore such a different character. He's very cold and manipulative and he's even more responsible for this than she is, leaving her in an awful situation.

Poor Hepzibah is going to suffer so much because of what the society is like at this time - it's so different to life now, for most of us at least. Here she can't help but try and conform to societal expectations, even if she's gone against them already.

Thank you so much for your lovely review, Adi! ♥

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Review #23, by randomwriterTabula Rasa: One

20th June 2015:
House Cup 2015

Hi Sam! I was going through your page looking for something to read when I saw this. The summary caught my eye. I was curious, and at the same time, I wanted to see how you managed a Colin+Albus sort of thing. Plus, I saw the words tabula rasa and there was no way I was going to ignore this.

I will admit that I was slightly confused when I first , but then when I went over it again, things became clearer. Also, I didn't see that it was a WIP, and I was wondering what to make of it, and then I went back to the story shell and felt like an A grade idiot. :p So, there's more to come, which is good.

Your first chapter was very intriguing. Yes, we already know he dies in the war. But you gave us so much about that. The details made it seemed more real. Plus, this actually goes into his emotions as well, and that was an excellent touch. The descriptions of fear and anger were spot on. And when he mentioned Dennis, I just felt so bad for him! You also managed to capture the chaos and activity of the war by just your writing.

This piece was slightly confusing, but it flowed well at the same time. I think it was mainly confusing because I thought it ended there and was feeling unclear. But on my second read, after knowing that it was a WIP, it was much better for me. Also, there were a couple of tiny grammatical errors. I've forgotten them by now :p They didn't obstruct the flow or anything, but a quick read through can help you fix that.

I hope you update soon. This is bound to be interesting :)

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Review #24, by randomwriterDarkness: Darkness

20th June 2015:
Hey there, Gina! I'm here for the 2015 HOUSE CUP for Gryffindor.

I think this is the first time I'm actually reading your writing, and I can't imagine why I haven't before because this piece was absolutely stunning.

I think it's interesting that you chose minor characters who were connected to the war in some way and told their story against the backdrop of the war. I also loved how the story was so rich in emotion. We started off feeling elated and that slowly translated into helplessnesss and despair. Finally, by the end of the whole thing, there's a feeling of renewed hope. The last section where you mention the philosophy behind naming her so, it adds to the feeling to change.

I'm glad she got a second chance at life. It's difficult when someone is not supportive. To top that off, he's rough, rude and really doesn't seem to care about her at all. Plus he's barely there, and yet, she needs to listen to him and keep him in the loop. In the end, I felt like justice was served to her as well when he was killed. She was far too meek and gentle to change her position, but at least, the war did.

I think you handled her progression of emotions in a very clever way. You show exactly how she is at what stage and what's playing an impact on her. I thought it was really well done.

Your writing is impeccable here. I can't find a single word or phrase out of place. You've done extremely well :)

Great job, Gina. It's safe to say that I'll be visiting your page more often. Great work! ♥

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Review #25, by randomwriterStrangers in the End: Where is Home

20th June 2015:
Hey Alishya! I'm here for the House Cup (2015) to represent Gryffindor!

I'm absolutely heartbroken. What an incredibly clever, well-thought out story. It was so touching as well. I don't think ti hit me as hard until I got to the end. Then I had to re-read it once, and I sort of got it. And your Author's Note made it crystal clear.

I really, really felt for all the characters in your story. Hermione, because she can never openly be a part of their lives like she should be. And because she lost her father without him getting a chance to know her again. Her mum, because of Alzheimers and because of the pain of losing her husband.

It's heartbreaking to know that the reverse spell didn't work. Hermione is such a talented witch. If she couldn't achieve it, it truly must be near impossible. But masquerading as their caretaker just to be a part of their lives is sad in a whole different way. But it also shows how much she loves them, and how much she yearns to be around them. I get were she's coming from.

I love that you chose to write about this moment. It was powerful and life-changing, and I think that it's every bit likely that Hermione would have gone back for them and that this could have happened. Doesn't make it any less sad though.

Your descriptions are so good. I love the first para, where you've written about the palpitations and nerves so perfectly. I'm sure everyone could relate to how spot-on that was.

If I had one suggestion, I'd say that this needs to be read through once. Maybe by a beta. It's got quite a few grammatical errors, and that makes it difficult to understand in certain parts. That's why I had to reread it to get it completely.

That apart, your story has touched me deeply. It's extremely unique because I haven't come across so many elements of this. I'm impressed beyond words. Great job ♥

Author's Response: Hey Adi! Whoo! Gryffindor!

Wow, feeling the love from your comment! ♥ ♥ ♥

It's great you were able to feel for the characters. It's sad that Hermione and her parents missed out on the chance to live or be in each other's lives properly like you said. At least Hermione and them could be in each other's lives in a way of caretaker/patient relationship though.

Yeah, I'll definitely rewrite/edit this over, as I am now on the process of getting into writing again.

Thank you so much again! I always love your reviews! ♥ I apologize for the lack of a thick response compared to your review - as I can't think of anything but express how you analyze my writing and the way you use words amazes me!

- Asphodel

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