Reading Reviews From Member: HeyMrsPotter
  
370 Reviews Found

Review #1, by HeyMrsPotterRiddikulus: Riddikulus

8th July 2014:
Hello!

This story managed to make me feel so much!

I was absolutely terrified of the Boggart, the descriptions you used to describe each of the dead characters were so vivid I could actually picture them so clearly in my head. Colin's was petrifying!
I was sad for McGonagall, I wanted to scream at her that she DID do everything that she could and that boggart Albus was wrong!
And in the end, I was beyond relieved, and so happy that little Winky was the hero in the story. She's such a loyal elf, and it was nice to see her finally accepting that she had a new master and one that she can look after so well.

The plot for this story was so clever, I could really imagine this being canon. The little details really made it for me, with the need to interview a new DADA Professor, and the castle being repaired and my absolute favourite-Winky having her own name for the Boggart :D

Love, love, LOVED this!

Dee -House Cup 2014 review Educational Decree #4

Author's Response: I actually gave myself goosebumps writing Lavender! I'm glad I wasn't the only one creeped out! Haha.

I'm so happy you thought the characterization was on point. It's always something I worry about.

The Changer!!! Yes! Haha. Aaahhh. I love Winky. Thank you so much for a wonderful review!


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Review #2, by HeyMrsPotterEvent Three - Ginny's Story: Ginny and Arnold

8th July 2014:
Hello!

After the House Cup story event, I now have such a huge fondness for Pygymy Puffs since reading lovely stories like this one!

What I love about yours is that Arnold is the catalyst for an event that we know happens in the books, the DA reuiniting. I think you've got a really accurate portrayal of the castle whilst it was in the hands of the Death Eaters. There's an underlying threat that you subtly hint to, and I really liked how you spoke about the mood of the staff as well as those of the children. Poor Ginny having to deal with all of that on top her her firends and the boy she loves and her brother being absent! I'm so glad that Arnold made her not only feel better but also inspired her to use the Room of Requirement and get the DA back together.

I absolutely thoroughly enjoyed this :D

Dee -House Cup 2014 review Educational Decree #4

Author's Response: Hi Dee - another lovely review from you! This story was my least favorite of the three that I wrote for the house cup, as it did not come out as finished as I would have liked. I'm glad you enjoyed it. My goal was to portray Ginny's side of things. She was very passionate but always told that she was too young to fight alongside the others. That must've caused great frustration, compounded by the fact that she was separated from her family for the first time in her life.

Thanks again - I really appreciated your kind words!


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Review #3, by HeyMrsPotterHC Event 3 - Dancing with Pixies: Not So Bad

8th July 2014:
Hello!

First off, this is absolutely definitely NOT complete and utter garbage! You shouldn't out your writing down :0

I really like that you chose to write about one of the less obvious creatures in the Wizarding World. The Cornish Pixies always seemed like such fun to me, though definitely michevious!

The main character in your story is really interesting, obviously very clever and not so concerned with the rules. I like the almost cocky over-confident attitude he/she (?) has when thinking of the others in the class.

Their idea to enlarge the cage and get in it with the pixies was great, I can't decide if I thought that was a brilliant or terrible idea when I first read it but I'm glad they didn't wreak too much havoc!

This was a great story, lovely plot idea and excellent descriptions throughout :D

Dee- House Cup 2014 review Educational Decree #4

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Review #4, by HeyMrsPotterEvent Three: Hope : Hope

8th July 2014:
Hello!

This was a really great entry for the house cup! I always loved the idea of Pygmy Puffs, even if they do seem like a bit of a naff gift :p

I really like the relationships that you've got in here between the girls, it shows such an accurate portrayal of every day life in Hogwarts- talking about Quidditch, lounging around in the dorms, laughing and taking the mick out of each other.
There's a great balance of the serious and the fluff in here and I loved both sides equally. It was really nice that the girl named the Pygmy Puff hope in the end, and that she saw her dad was really trying just to get her though the days, and probably get through them himself.

A Perfect little one-shot :D

Dee -House Cup 2014 revie Educational Decree #4

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Review #5, by HeyMrsPotterEvent Three - Lament: A Giant and a Phoenix

8th July 2014:
Hi Emily!

This was such a BEAUTIFUL story! I absolutely LOVE the idea that you've written about a giant AND a phoenix, and what a wonderful job you did of writing from Grawp's perspective. I love the line
"Helluh," you attempt as Hagger has taught you painstakingly You make Grawp so cute for a giant :p

The way you've described Fawkes really does the beautiful bird justice. Every word of his appearence and his flight is graceful and magical, just like him. I just adore how gentle Grawp was with him too, and I can picture that mement where Fawkes puts his head in Grawps hand.

Lovely, lovely, lovely story, Emily!

Dee -House Cup 2014 revie Educational Decree #4

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Review #6, by HeyMrsPotterMay Seventeenth: May Seventeenth

8th July 2014:
Hello!

This is the first time I've read a Dean/Ginny story before. I really like missing moments stories from the book so this one looked interesting!

I love that ultimately Harry is the reason Dean and Ginny break up, it's so obvious throughout the books that he was always the one she loved the most, the one she loved truly. I think you've got that across well here. It did make me really want to kick Dean when he was being so awful to her about it though, she's always been the one girl who wasn't after Harry for his fame or money and for him to say that was so harsh.

I think the final sentence was a really effective way to end the story, it had a good tone of finality to it!

All in all, I enjoyed this. Though I would have liked a tad more description.

Dee -House Cup 2014 review Educational Decree #3

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Review #7, by HeyMrsPotterMistletoe: Mistletoe

8th July 2014:
Hello!

Dramione is definitely my favourite pairing and I think you did it justice here. I love missing moments stories so this was right up my stret!

I think you got both Hermione and Draco's characters really well here. Hermione running away from Cormac is hilarious and I like the way that she thinks about the other boys, particularly Ron who was pretty stupid throughout Half Blood Prince.

Her moment with Draco was really heated and you built up the tension so well. I think him swearing at her was so in character for him but I wish they would have kissed :p

This was a really enjoyable story :)

Dee -Hose Cup 2014 review Educational Decree #3

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Review #8, by HeyMrsPotterSleepwalker: Sleepwalker

8th July 2014:
Hello! So, admittedly this is the first time I've ever read a Harry/Draco fic and it's not my favourite pairing at all.

That being said, I can fully appreciate how well this is written. I think you've done a really good job of portraying Harry's heartbreak here, especially in this line:
He was all I thought about, all day and all night. He haunted me.

I also liked the little details that you put in about day to day life in and around Hogwarts, the detail about breakfast and the Care of Magical Creatures class.

Their dialogue really help to emphasise the anger Harry is feeling toward Draco and how heartbroken he's reallt feeling.

Not my favourite pairing, but an intersting one-shot nonetheless.

Dee -Hose Cup 2014 review Educational Decree #3

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Review #9, by HeyMrsPotterViolet Hill: the land of delusions.

8th July 2014:
Hello again :)

I like the continuity that you've got between this story and the last (and presumably the next one too :P)

I think the thing I love most about this story is the interaction between Draco and Scorpius in the ending. Draco is obviously hurting from the loss of the woman he loved, but his son's pain takes priority over that. He says exactly the right thing to Scorpius, not sugar coating anything but still managing to make him feel better. I love the picture you've painted of him as a father :)

Again, you've got that gorgeous description and I like the way you've capitalised Death giving the impression that it's a real being that is causing Scorpius to feel so low.

Another great entry!

Dee -House Cup 2014 review.

Author's Response: Hi Dee!

Thanks! Yes, all of the stories follow the dark and death theme in case you were wondering.

I'm really glad that you liked their interaction because the thing I love most after Scorpius is when Draco and Scorpius are together so this was so much fun to write. Yes, I think after the war he would be more reflective but more truthful too given how he saw all the lies and manipulation then, so it's great that you liked this version of it.

Haha, that was inspired by The Book Thief, so I would really recommend you check it out if you liked it here as you will never see death in the same way after that book!

Thanks for another great review :D

-Kiana


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Review #10, by HeyMrsPotterViolet Hill: a glimpse of infinity.

8th July 2014:
Hi, Kiana!

It always amazes me that people can write such brilliant stories in 500 words, so the fact that you've written 3 (yes, I'm assuming the other two are also brilliant because it's you!) is just wow.

I am so incredibly envious right now of the description you've used in this. It is seriously jaw-dropping. Like this right here:
Its outline is jagged, angular, from the protruding bones which have been weathered away to an argent hue. The translucent film covering the skeleton conceals nothing at all. The thestral seems incomplete, as if something has been lost and can never be retrieved.
How on earth do you do this?! My description of a thestral wouldn't go far beyond black and skeletal :p

I feel so sad for Scorpius seeing the thestral. He's obviously ran away to try and get away from the thoughts of his mother dying and then runs straight into a reminder. I love that he has every right to hate the thing for that but he see's the strange beauty in it and a meaning beyond death.

Brilliant interpretation of the first propmpt, Kiana. I loved this.

Dee -House Cup 2014 review.

Author's Response: Hi Dee!

Wahahaha *blushes so red cheeks may explode* thank you so much, that means so much to me to hear you say that!

Aw, thank you :P I'm not sure really, I just sort of envisaged it in my head and then that burst out from my fingers, I wish I could offer a better explanation but I can't sadly.

Yay for Scorpius! I'm glad that you liked him here as he's always got a soft spot in my heart and I love angsty Scorpius too, so this was just the best thing ever really :P

Thanks so much for the great review, Dee! :D

-Kiana


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Review #11, by HeyMrsPotterEvent Three: Thestrals: Hugo

7th July 2014:
Emily! I'm sad that I've reached the final chapter of this collection of amazing stories. Admittedly, this one had me on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. At first I was all NO MOLLY WEASLY CANNOT BE DEAD BECAUSE JUST NO. I felt so awful for poor Hugo that every time he saw the thestrals he was reminded of having witnessed his grandmother dying. Then he went to the forest and saw the thestral and I could have just cried for him when he thought of Molly. And then the baby took the apple from him and made him realise they weren't so bad and he cried because he was happy and not scared of them anymore! My poor emotions!!

This, and the other two chapters, were so beautifully written. I especially liked the description in the forest part of this one, and of the thestrals too. Perfect!

Dee -House Cup 2014 review

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Review #12, by HeyMrsPotterEvent Three: Thestrals: Neville

7th July 2014:
Hello again!

I truly love Neville Longbottom, and this story just reinforced that completely. I'm completely amazed at how well you understand his character, it's like you were in his head. The whole idea of him constantly berating himself and putting himself down just completely breaks my heart, throughout this whole thing I just wanted to tell him 'but you are brave Neville, all of that shows you that you really are!'

The use of the 'be brave, be strong' mantra throughout was so effective, and I love how you linked it to all of his significant moments in the books. I'm really glad that he finally realised in the end that he is so brave and strong (cutting off a snakes head will do that to a person, I imagine)

Another really brilliant story, Emily.

Dee -House Cup 2014 review

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Review #13, by HeyMrsPotterEvent Three: Thestrals: Sirius

7th July 2014:
Hi Emily :D

I just love the idea that you've combined the House Cup event with the every word counts challenge three times. The idea of Thestrals linking them all is really clever too.

I really feel for Sirius in this, it's so awful that he would have to see something that awful at such a young age. That being said, I think you wrote the scene beautifully. The way that both Bellatrix and Lucius react, or more don't react, to the fact that they've just taken a life away is very in character for both of them.

I like that Sirius had a happy ending (at least in this little snapshot of his life) when he went to the Potter's. Him realising he hadn;t even asked if he could stay was just adorable.

The way you started and ended the story in a similar way made it flow really well and was a really effectivce way to finish the story (I'm rubbish at ending chapters/stories/sentences so this makes me positively green with envy :P)

Dee -House Cup 2014 review

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Review #14, by HeyMrsPotterThe Missing One: The Missing One

7th July 2014:
Hi Jayde! Long time no review, let's fix that, eh?

I think this is a really great snapshot of the Weasley's life after the war.

You've captured Molly perfectly in so few words, I love the idea of her washing the dishes by hand to calm her nerves, it's something I can really imagine her doing. Her referring to Charlie and Fred as 'The Missing One' and 'The Dead One' made me so sad, I can really feel her pain here. And then this line:
Looking at him was like having Fred and not having him at the same time.
Fits with exactly how I'd imagine Molly would feel about George after Fred's death, it's probably how George feels about himself!

This was such an enjoyable read, my dear. I'm so intrigued as to where Charlie is and why he is behaving the way he is, I think I'll add Keeping Secrets to my reading list for after the House Cup is over and I can read without thinking about points the whole time!

Dee -House Cup 2014 review

Author's Response: Dee! Thank you so much for stopping by to read and review this! (And for earning Hufflepuff some points in the process!!)

I was a little worried that washing the dishes might be a little TOO monotonous, so thank you so much for your compliments!

And *Squees*! Thank you, thank you so much! *hugs*


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Review #15, by HeyMrsPotterEvent Three: Can't Keep A Good 'Puff Down: And Lasts Forever

7th July 2014:
Hi again!

Can I just say, I love love LOVED the opening sentence to this :D Every single word after this just broke my heart into a million pieces. I think it's because their frienship reminded me of mine with my best friend and the idea of ever losing her is just heart wrenching.

It's very rare that I actually cry at fanfiction, and I mean full on running nose and sobbing, but you definitely got me with this one. I was teary at first and then this line just pushed me over the edge:
The kind of silence of a friendship that would last for eternity, and when it was eventually time for Hannah to leave, to give Susan's family more time with her, the hug that they shared was one of finality, as if they both knew that this was it, the last station on on a lifelong journey. It was just a beautiful and fitting end to their friendship and Susan's life.

You really did their friendship justice throughout the three stories, even in this really sad ending. Great job!

Dee -House Cup 2014 review

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Review #16, by HeyMrsPotterEvent Three: Can't Keep A Good 'Puff Down: It Comes From Within

7th July 2014:
Hi again!

This was such a good read! I really loved reading about the war from a perspective other than Harry's, and I loved that Hannah and Susan stuck together throughout it all, and it was a true testament to their friendship that Hannah told Susan she would understand if she chose to bow down.

The ending was one of my favourite parts of this, with Susan encouraging Hannah to go and talk to Neville. It was a nice hint of the future relationship between them, so often in fanfiction people put Neville with Luna because of the film and it was never a ship I could get on board with- I like that you stuck with canon.

This was another really great story. I love the continuity that you have with Hannah and Susan's friendship, and I look forward to reading the next installment of their adventures!

Dee -House Cup 2014 review

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Review #17, by HeyMrsPotterEvent Three: Can't Keep A Good 'Puff Down: Adolescent Escapades

7th July 2014:
Hi, Meg :)

This is the first time I've read anything of yours and I was immediately in love just from the title alone :D The super writing and brilliant first part of your entries were just a bonus ;)

I really love that you chose to write about characters from Hufflepuff, and I adore the friendship that you've given Hannah and Susan. They're very typical teenage girls just giggling and having fun and it was so refreshing to read. Choosing the niffler as your magical creature was a brilliant idea, it's one of my favourite magical creature of the series and makes for such a fun story!


There was one thing I picked up on with your punctuation in the speech:
"Well come on then. It's heavy." Hannah muttered The speech should end in a comma, rather than a full stop so that both the speech and the text describing the speech are part of the same sentence. Like this: "Well come on then. It's heavy," Hannah muttered
And if the text ends in a question mark, like this: "You're sure the last time you saw the necklace was in here?" She questioned quietly then the first word after the speech mark should be lowercase (unless it's a name or I etc)
It's a minor thing but it will make your writing look a little more polished :)

I'm really looking forward to reading the other two parts of your entry, Meg!

Dee -House Cup 2014 review

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Review #18, by HeyMrsPotterEvent Three: Dragon Taming: Dragon Taming

7th July 2014:
Hi, Kayla! Me again :)

I think this is my favourite of your three entries (only by a milimetre though, they were all amazing!)

Charlie is obviously the Weasley sibling we know the least about from the books so there is a certain amount of freedom when it comes to writing about him in fanfiction and I think you've written him amazingly. I love that he has the slightly cheeky side to him that's similar to Fred and George:
"You're no fun," he said with a grin. "What could happen?"

I loved everything about seeing Charlie at work, from his fun interactions with his peers; bonding with Sam over their British accents. The way he took on the role of teacher with the other dragon keepers; correcting the spell names. I loved how experienced you made him, knowing the history of dragon keeping as well as the best way to do the job. Most of all I loved his passion for the dragons, always putting their happiness first as much as he could whilst keeping them captive, his indignation at the fact they had to be kept captive in the first place, his love of flying the terrifying creatures and most of all this line here:
When trained correctly, they were just like very large puppies that breathed fire. the sheer blase-ness (yes that's a word) of this comment is just too perfect for words.

This was clever, well written, funny, and a brilliant idea for the magical creatures prompt. I LOVED IT SO MUCH.

Dee -House Cup 2014 review

Author's Response: This is definitely my favourite piece as well, don't worry, ahaha!

I feel like all the Weasley kids (well... maybe with the exception of Percy) would have a bit of that cheekiness in them! I grew up in a big (extended) family and we're all slightly cheeky. It's like it's a part of the rules to be cheeky :P

Yeah, I'm a big "NO CRUELTY TO ANIMALS!" person (which everyone should be tbh) so I wanted to reflect that even in the Wizarding world they have a bit of unfairness.

Haha, but thank you so much for this review! I'm glad you loved it! :D

- Kayla :)


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Review #19, by HeyMrsPotterMistletoe Mishap: Mistletoe Mishap

7th July 2014:
Hello!
I absolutely ADORED this! I love the idea of the Weasley's making a mistletoe that stuck people under it until they kissed, it's definitely something they would find funny. And I love the idea that it's those two who get stuck under it!

Their characterisations are good in this, I understand as a fellow dramione writer that for them to get together they're never going to be perfectly in character but you've got them as close as they can be. This line from Draco was brilliant:
"I'm dancing a bloody ballet, Granger, what does it look like?" I can just HEAR him saying it!

Their conversation is quick witted and funny as I'd imagine it would be and I also thought that Hermione's reasons for not being with Ron anymore made a lot of sense. And of course I loved their kiss! Perfect ending to a perfect story :)


Dee -House Cup 2014 review, Educational Decree number 2.

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Review #20, by HeyMrsPotterScars: Scars

7th July 2014:
Hello!

This is a really sweet story full of my favourite pairing! I liked the conversation between Hermione and Draco in the bathroom, and I definitely think that post-war Draco would seek redemption. Him getting upset over his Dark Mark is something I can really imagine happening so it made for a really realistic interaction between the pair. I like that you write about them becoming friends, and I totally agree that they would challenge each other both emotionally and intellectually.

Their kiss was really well written and full of passion, I would have liked if this had been a little longer though. I think Hermione gave in really quickly at the end, going from stopping the kiss to telling him to kiss her again. Maybe a longer conversation inbetween that would help :)

Dee -House Cup 2014 review, Educational Decree number 2.

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Review #21, by HeyMrsPotterFirst Kiss: First Kiss

7th July 2014:
Wow! This was just the ultimate, perfect, Jily fluff, I loved it!

I think you've absolutely nailed all of the feelings of nerves and excitement and anticipation that come not only with a first kiss, but with any relationship. I love how Lily gets butterflies in her stomach and almost everything James does makes her nervous and excited. It makes me so happy that James got his girl in the end. He was so sweet with her, feeling concerned at her being cold and being a true gentleman by offering her his jacket. And that kiss! Utter perfection. I love nothing more than stories that are pure unadulterated fluff and this definitely fits into that category.

This was well written and totally enjoyable. Thanks for a great read!

Dee -House Cup 2014 review, Educational Decree number 2.

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Review #22, by HeyMrsPotter...Not a Twinkle...: ...Not a Twinkle...

7th July 2014:
So, one of the things I love most about fanfiction are 'missing moments' stories, just like this one! I love that you've taken that one line from the books and turned it into this beautiful one-shot.

I think you've portrayed Harry and Ginny really well, especially with the use of italics to voice Ginny's thoughts. It's so lovely to read how happy she is to finally have Harry after waiting and loving him for so long. I really liked this line:
This is wonderful. This is what I've lived for for so long

The description around their secret place is lovely, and it fits with Hogwarts so well, with it's hidden places that are just so beautiful. It felt really authentically magic and made for a lovely ending to your story.

Dee -House Cup 2014 review, Educational Decree number 2.

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Review #23, by HeyMrsPotterThrough the Rubble : Fifth Floor, Left Wing

7th July 2014:
This was such an adorable one-shot!

I love Luna, and I think she is really difficult to write but you got her absolutely perfect. I loved the line about that part of her castle being her favourite because she'd befriended the portraits, that's such a Luna thing to do! And the way she reacts to Neville, staring at his hand on her shoulder and then saying 'that's nice' in response to his kiss. All total Luna reactions to things!

I also really loved the descriptions you used, particularly those describing how the castle looked after battle and the little details like Neville having dried blood on his hands. Really brilliant fluff story!

Dee -House Cup 2014 review, Educational Decree number 2.

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Review #24, by HeyMrsPotterLove at First Sight: Meet up

7th July 2014:
Hello!

It's a real shame that there isn't more of this story. This is a really interesting opening chapter! I'm a sucker for Dramione and I'd love to know how Draco and Hermione got to this stage where he kisses her in front of the whole school! What a kiss it was though, you described it really well. And I love the chemistry that you have between the two of them, going from kissing to slapping to kissing again. I really wish there had been more of this. I'd have liked to have seen what Ron would have done about it and who Hermione would have chosen in the end.

Dee -House Cup 2014 review, Educational Decree number 2.

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Review #25, by HeyMrsPotterEternal Rose: The eternal rose

7th July 2014:
Hello!

This was a really short and sweet story. I love how cute Ron and Hermione are! It's so sweet that she is in such a hurry to get to him that she trips, and I can really just imagine his little quip about falling into his arms. The idea of the rose that won't ever die is a lovely metaphor for his feelings for her and is reinforced by his proposal.

I would maybe have his letter in italics just to make it stand out a little, but that's the only CC I could offer :) Otherwise this is a perfectly lovely and fluffy one-shot!

Dee -House Cup 2014 review, Educational Decree number 2.

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