Reading Reviews From Member: ShadowRose
  
167 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ShadowRoseJourney to the Centre of (Molly’s) World in (Less than) 80 Days: Take It Easy

16th March 2014:
Hello again!

So I don't quite know what you're talking about when you say this chapter wasn't funny, because I thought it was really hilarious!

Poor Heath, breaking his arm and then passing out in front of Molly. I felt bad for him as he tried to be manly but was almost beaten at that by Molly, who's trained in all these situations and remained perfectly calm about everything while Heath is freaking out. I love how this kind of flips the cliche - usually the guy rescues the girl, whereas here it's pretty much the exact opposite.

I love Molly and Heath's banter, since it's gotten a lot friendlier as the story has progressed. They have totally different personalities, yet they get along so well and play off of one another perfectly.

When Heath asked "what's worse than dying," I wanted noting more than for Hermione to pop out and say "expelled!" because that scene came into my mind and I couldn't get it to go away. Of course, it's probably a good thing that didn't happen, because it really wouldn't have fit with the story, but it stuck in my mind nonetheless.

Of course, my favourite line hands down was "If you Americans hadn't thrown yours in the harbour, you'd know." That was so perfect and Molly's just so sassy and smart, and it's just really great.

I've really enjoyed reading this so far, and I hope you update it soon, as I'll have to come back for the next chapter!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 20/20 on opposite house)

Author's Response: I'm glad you found it funny!

I loved writing Heath at the beginning of this chapter. He's just trying to maintain his reputation, but Molly just doesn't have time for that kind of stuff. She's too efficient by half :P I couldn't really see the "typical" scenario happening, simply because the main reason Molly is along is for stuff like this. She's trained. He isn't.

The banter was a lot friendlier in this one! I was worried about progressing their relationship too fast, but there's going to be plenty of opportunities for antagonism! *cackles evilly*

Writing that scene where Heath asks what's worse than dying, I actually wrote down Hermione instead of Molly in my first draft - the importance of editing!

Molly is just lovely to write. She's everything I aspire to be in terms of sass. If only I could say some of the things she says...

Thanks so much for the reviews! And congratulations for winning the Blackout Battle!


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Review #2, by ShadowRoseJourney to the Centre of (Molly’s) World in (Less than) 80 Days: Uncharted

16th March 2014:
And I'm back again for another chapter!

I completely sympathise with Molly in the start of this chapter. People who are running late are absolutely the death of me, and even more so when they're in their own house! Well, at least she got to appreciate Raj's off-key singing while she waited. :P he's adorable and I really like him - I know they're leaving and all but I really hope he still shows up later in the story. "Raj the wannabe soprano" - that's great.

It's good that Molly at least recognises that Heath doesn't deserve the anger she's directed at him, but can't help but dislike him nonetheless. I still can't believe they had to go through training camp in a skirt and heels - I definitely wouldn't have enough grace for that!

Their tour guide is so weird, but so entertaining. He seems a bit like Trelawney, but replacing all of her phrases about death and despair with words like "rad" and "awesome." I feel so embarrassed for Molly, having this strange guy talk about her "aura" as she's surrounded by other people, and even bringing up her partner in this journey, which I'm assuming is a reference to Heath, in both the travel way and ... maybe something more?

This method of travel is really strange, and I have the feeling that because they said, "what else could go wrong," they'll end up in Antarctica or something completely off the wall like that. Oh well, I guess I'll have to wait for the next chapter to find out!

This was another really great chapter, and I'm looking forward to reading the next one!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 19/20 on opposite house)

Author's Response: Back again! *throws confetti*

I hate late people too! Once or twice is understandable, but you know the people who are late all the time - one of the reasons I go insane. Raj is adorable. He's such a dork sometimes. I don't really know if we'll get to see him again here - the chances are very high, though! I love him too much to abandon him.

Her dislike stems from the fact that they're still practically strangers. They just don't know each other. However time will tell if she ever gets over her dislike for him... I don't know how she managed to navigate an obstacle course in a short skirt and heels. She's obviously top Auror material!

Haha! I'd never really thought of Socks and Sandals like Trelawney, but now that you mention it, I can see the similarities. He'd be like her happier hippie twin or something! I'd be pretty embarrassed with someone talking about my aura too. She handles herself well though, in typical Molly style. And we'll just have to wait and see if Heath ever becomes something more than a travel buddy... It's early days yet :P

Whenever someone says "what could possibly go wrong?" Always expect the world to end. Molly seems to have the right idea with being a little distrustful of the rocks. I'd run screaming in the opposite direction personally.

Thanks for the lovely review!


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Review #3, by ShadowRoseJourney to the Centre of (Molly’s) World in (Less than) 80 Days: Counting Stars

16th March 2014:
Hello! I'm back again for chapter 2!

I love the switch in point-of-view - I wasn't expecting it, but it's great to see the story from a second pair of eyes. I do like Heath as well, he seems similar to Molly, in that they're both in the pursuit of happiness, but they've also got some different traits as well. I feel like Heath is much better at adapting to situations and taking life as it comes, and Molly's a little better with self-control. This trip should be good for them - maybe they'll rub off on one another.

I still really like Molly - she's definitely a powerful force and she's got a lot of passion and fire, but she also knows that maybe Dennis Creevey isn't the best person to fight with on the matter.

Speaking of which, your characterization of Dennis Creevey is probably the best thing ever. He was such a tiny little thing in the series, so the fact that he grew up into a monstrous man with a voice that resembles an avalanche is just too funny. I can definitely see why both Molly and Heath were intimidated by him, though.

Raj is a great character too - he cracks me up! He's got a bit of a motherly streak, but he also let's Heath make some of his own mistakes - although I guess in this case there wasn't too much of a mistake since Heath ended up finishing his article.

Overall, another really great chapter and I enjoyed reading it!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 18/20 on opposite house)

Author's Response: Woohoo! Chapter two!

I try to try something different with each WIP I write, and switching POVs every chapter was one of those things for this one. I'm glad you thought it worked - and also that it was unexpected. I'm not really used to writing "unexpected" things! You're right in saying that Heat and Molly come from the same sort of place, but yes, they do go about it in different ways. It makes for an interesting dynamic, for sure.

Haha! Maybe Molly doesn't realise how tactful she can be - backing off from a fight with Dennis Creevey seemed like a pretty tactful move to me!

Puberty is funny like that. I really wanted t write Dennis in a way that we might not expect to see him. It made sense that he'd go into the Auror office, and enough time has passed that it was plausible that he was in charge of training new Aurors. Making him a talking mountain was just too good an opportunity to pass up!

Raj probably has a little story to tell, I think. He's been surprisingly popular, and so there's an idea or two floating around in my head now!

Thanks for reading!


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Review #4, by ShadowRoseJourney to the Centre of (Molly’s) World in (Less than) 80 Days: King of Anything

16th March 2014:
Hi! This story caught my eye so I figured is swing by and review it for Blackout Battle!

I really like that this story is Molly II-centric. Of all the next-gen characters, I feel like she's the least written about, but she has so much potential. I really love how you've written her too - she doesn't want to fall into that rut of a "perfect life" and wants to experience life fully instead of going through it checking off little tasks along the way, when if that means breaking out of the shell she's lived in for her whole life. She's also emotional and emphatic, which definitely shows she's inherited something from her mother, but she's not always tactful, as illustrated by the dinner, which really makes her a believable character who's fun to read about. She's by no means perfect, and that's what makes her so great.

I'm go glad she got away from her boyfriend - he sounds like a bore! Actually, he sounds a bit like a pre-Deathly Hallows Percy (read, pompous and obnoxious), but I guess they equate to the same thing! Her parents are great too - they're still obsessed with this idea of Molly having a "perfect life," but at least Percy's a little more laid back about it, which shows he's changed a bit for the better since the series ended. I also love the little tidbit about them eloping - it's so funny and completely against Percy's personality, which makes it so much better! I'd love to see a story about that *hint hint one-shot maybe?*. Also, you win for best last name -
Paisley-Bumbershuffle is hilarious!

I think you've incorporated the quite really well into this story - it's definitely a strong theme in this chapter, and I think it makes a great point about Molly needing to love herself and follow her heart.

I'm excited to see where this story goes - it's off to a great start!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 17/20 on opposite house)

Author's Response: Hello!

She really is not written that often, and I find that really strange because being Percy's daughter allows you to take her in so many different directions. I wanted to write her as "normal", which is a refreshing change from my other OCs. She has normal pressures to succeed and be a certain way, and she doesn't want that. And I loved writing that dinner scene! She doesn't quite realise how much like her mother she can be, and her tactlessness is almost definitely from Percy! It's kind of scary how much like our parents we can be!

Her boyfriend is a bore. And yeah, he is a lot like Percy pre-Deathly Hallows. Definitely another reason to get away from him! Percy and Audrey are a lot of fun to write, because is think they're a lot like other parents who want the best for their child but things get lost in translation between parent and child. And there's definitely a story in Percy and Audrey's past! Maybe someday...

Thanks so much for this wonderful review!


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Review #5, by ShadowRoseTraitorous Hearts: The Stolen Truth

16th March 2014:
Hello!

Oh gosh, I think this chapter is my favourite so far. We see such a different side of Astoria - she loses her calm, cool, collected demeanour, and finally lets her emotions show. It really speaks volumes about her character in that the only time she really gets emotional is when talking about her family. When her father comes up in conversation, her reaction is so beautifully strong, and it really shows how Astoria is struggling with h er father's condition.

I still really like your portrayal of Draco, as bad of a person as he may be. Like Astoria, he's remarkably good at reading people, and knows exactly how to find Astoria's weak spot. He's a bit ruthless, but there's also a hint of something else there - a touch of sympathy maybe? Let's just hope that stays there with all that he's just found out. I really love the detail of Draco being a Legilimens, because it's something I don't think I've ever seen anyone else do before, but it certainly seems like something the Dark Lord would require of his interrogators.

What a cruel twist of fate, that the Weasleys were spied on by a twisted version of their own invention. I love that little detail that ends up incriminating Astoria, because I think there's a whole lot of irony in that.

There are little buds, mostly on Draco's side, of some sort of attraction, and I can only hope that that'll develop more as the story goes along. Regardless, thats about the only way Astoria will be saved from being reported to the Dark Lord - if Draco somehow finds his heart in all of this.

I've absolutely adored reading this story so far. You've created such an intricate storyline in only five chapters, and I can't wait to see where it goes from here!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 16/20 on opposite house)

Author's Response: Hey Taylor!

Oh! I'm so excited that you enjoyed the chapter :D

I really do love the section where Astoria sort of loses it. It was fun to have a small break in the midst of all that tension. You're absolutely correct--it says a lot about Astoria that the only thing that can make her show vulnerability is her family. They are a really big driving force for her actions.

Draco's definitely ruthless--much like Astoria. But she, at least, definitely has a softer side, even if it's fairly well hidden. As for his sympathy, there does seem to be a touch of it there. Whether that actually has an effect on his actions at this point, well...I suppose the next chapter would tell that. I'm glad you liked the Legilimency detail. I figured that we knew that Draco was particularly good at Occlumency, so it made sense that he would have learned how to read minds as well. And it really would be a pretty key piece of criteria for a Death Eater interrogator.

Yep. The Extendable Ear bit was kind of cruelly ironic, huh? I guess I have a fairly dark sense of humor, because I did like that little ring of irony. It's sad. But hey, the twins really made it! Even Voldemort appreciates their craftmanship.
...Not an endorsement that you'd include in the brochure? Well, fair enough.

Buds of attraction are definitely there, particularly for Draco, as you say. But will those buds come to fruition IS the question. As far as that goes, well, a large part of that question might be answered in the new chapter, which is up now, if you're interested.

Thank you so much for reading, and for your sweet, thoughtful reviews. I really appreciate hearing what you have to say about the story, and the time you've taken to write thorough responses! Thanks again!

--Penny



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Review #6, by ShadowRoseTraitorous Hearts: The Malediction Perfidious

16th March 2014:
Hi Penelope!

I've actually noticed as I've been reading that you actually switch up your writing style a little bit as you write - your flashbacks, which aren't all that tense, have a more flowing style, while the present conversation with Draco has a shorter, choppier style. It's actually really great because it captures the current mood of each situation and helps the reader feel the environment of the story.

The way Draco's written in this story is great - he's constantly acting like he's so far above Astoria, because he's a Death Eater and older than her, and so acts in a way to make her feel smaller. For example, when he's commenting on his Dark Mark, and you compare him to an old man, and then he makes the "hideous" comment, both of which make it seem like he's trying to sound so much older and wiser than he is. But Astoria knows how to stand her own and combat that, as shown in her comment at the end of that section "I'd not concern yourself with it. We all have scars, Mr. Malfoy."

I can't believe that Astoria's mother would put a curse that horrible on her own daughter - but I guess in the secret business one must do anything to keep their identity a secret. I definitely see where her conflicted feelings stem from - her mother's always been so close to her, but yet, her mother pit this horrible curse on her as well.

Gosh, and I really love how you've written Ginny. She's strong-willed and powerful, but also caring. She's smart enough to communicate secretly, and I love the fact that she's sneaking WWW products into the school - carrying on the Weasley tradition now that she's the only one of ten left at Hogwarts.

This was another really great chapter, and I really enjoyed reading it!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 15/20 on opposite house)

Author's Response: Hey Taylor!

Working on answering all these! Sorry it's taken me so long. I've never had so many reviews--the blackout bingo left me with several, and my computer had been broken, so when I finally got it fixed I checked my review count and was just like, woah! And I was also working on finishing the edits for chapter 6, which I just put in the queue last night. But please forgive me for taking so long in answering your lovely reviews. I really, truly appreciate them!

Oh hey! I've definitely been trying to create different moods for the different parts of the story. I don't think I ever consciously adjusted the structure, but I did try to create a different feeling with the way I wrote, and I'm really, really excited that that has apparently come across!

You're absolutely right about Draco. He does try to project a more mature, worldly persona. And, to a certain extent, it's real. He has been through more than most people his age. In truth, he's seen more horrors than Astoria. But she holds her own, too, as you point out, because she's been through far more than he knows. And you're right--she definitely uses that comment, and her own sort of jadedness, to beat him at his own game.

I was sort of nervous when writing the bit about Lavinia's curse. I was surprised by how much readers took to her character, and was like, "Oh boy..." because I knew this was coming. However, she's a complicated woman, for sure. And she didn't do anything without reasons. Of course, there's always the possibility that it wasn't Lavinia at all. Astoria thinks it was. It looks like it was. But I won't make any promises. Basically, I'm trying to say it's good that you're considering the various possible background factors, because whether or not she did it, and if she did, why--well, those facts could all make a big difference, couldn't they? But you're right about how it's made Astoria feel. The important thing right now is the truth as she knows and suspects it, and she's been betrayed. That definitely makes her feel very conflicted in regards to Lavinia, which is hard because, as you say, she looked up to her mother so much.

Yay! Thank you! I love Ginny, and I really wanted to get her right here. I'm glad that you liked how she came across.

Thanks so much for your kind words. I really enjoy hearing your thoughts on the story!

--Penny


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Review #7, by ShadowRoseTraitorous Hearts: A Dangerous Revelation

15th March 2014:
Hello, I'm back again!

Astoria's definitely got a lot to deal with - what with Draco interviewing her heavily in order to clear her whole family. That's a whole lot of pressure on her shoulders, but I feel like she'll at least be able to handle herself and come up with relatively decent answers, despite her "traitorous" behaviors.

I like how you've portrayed Ginny here - you've certainly captured her personality in that seventh book, showing how much she's hardened because of the war. She's definitely suspicious of Astoria, and she has absolutely no reason not to. But she's got a level head on her shoulders and is much more willing to listen than most people, but still thinks through the proposition before making any action, which shows that she definitely knows what she's doing. Props for Astoria for knowing who to go to.

This is another great chapter - I love learning more about Astoria and I think you're doing a wonderful job writing her!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 14/20 on opposite house)

Author's Response: Thank you! I had a lot of fun writing Ginny. And that spin on her--how she's hardened by her circumstances--was something I really wanted to capture. It means a lot that you think I did!

Plus, writing those two together is just so fun!

Thank you again!

--Penny


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Review #8, by ShadowRoseTraitorous Hearts: The Lady of Greengrass Hall

15th March 2014:
Hi, I'm back again for the next chapter!

I really love Lavinia's backstory that you have going here. She's definitely a woman that seems stuck in her situation, with the pureblood descent and expectations that she stay in the house and not get involved in the workforce, but she makes the most out of it and guarantees that she is still doing something useful, despite her position. And she proves to be very good at it, too. I'd be intrigued to know who killed her and why they wanted to do so - she certainly would have a lot of enemies, but I'd love to know exactly why.

Astoria continues to be a great character as well - she's so sneaky and doesn't show much of herself to Draco, as she should. She's great at keeping a secret and putting up a front, much like her mother did. She keeps her own interests at heart, but doesn't like to let people know what she's thinking either - she's definitely a closed book. She's such a strong character, and I really like her so far.

I really like the combination of both points of view - it really shows just how much Astoria is like her mother since they're presented side by side. I love how loyal Astoria is too, in that she's turning agains the Death Eaters because of what happened to her mother - I can't wait to see exactly how that turns out.

This was another really enjoyable chapter - great job!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 13/20 on opposite house)

Author's Response: Yay! I really enjoy seeing Lavinia get some love. I'm surprised by how much people have taken to her. I'm glad that people have been able to sympathize with her, even though she was on the wrong side. Would you like to know who killed her? Hmmm...perhaps you shall. ;)

I'm also glad that you like Astoria, even though she is a "closed book". That's been one of the harder parts about writing this story--coming up with a way to make Astoria complicated and likable, despite the fact that, what with all her secret keeping, it takes a while to learn much about her.

Astoria is VERY loyal to family. It's a motivating factor for her in most of her decisions, for sure. And she is very like her mother. Lavinia groomed her for that. But it's also good to think about how she's different, as the story goes on. Astoria's spent a long time trying to live up to her mother's example. Can she find it within herself to do something different?

Thanks for the R&R and your kind words! It's very encouraging!

--Penny


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Review #9, by ShadowRoseTraitorous Hearts: An Unwelcome Visitor

15th March 2014:
Hello Penelope! I've been meaning to check out something of yours, and this Blackout Bingo seems like the perfect opportunity for that!

I really love that you've started this story with a flashback, because it really helps set the scene and show some influences on Astoria's life before we even meet Astoria herself. Her mother seems like an interesting character, so now I'm intrigued to know what happened to her, the incident Astoria refers to throughout the chapter.

I like Astoria's character - she's very attentive to detail and manipulative when she needs to be, but she also has a softer side that she hides as well, like her conflicting opinion of the Death Eaters and her natural kindness to Filly that she has to repress in front of Draco. I really love the line "As far as she was concerned, it was green for Greengrass--that was where her loyalties lay. The rest of it could go straight to -," because it clearly shows her values, which are her family above anything else.

I also like your portrayal of Draco. You've showed how his Death Eater activities have taken a toll on him through physical description but through his dialogue he's definitely trying to maintain a semblance of coolness and cynicism known for the Death Eaters, and more specifically, the Malfoys. I'm actually really intrigued to know what he's hiding - obviously there's something big that he's trying to hide, since he had to set up this formal meeting.

I also really like your writing style - it's very detailed and shows clear thoughts on both your part and Astoria's, and the reader can really picture the scene fully. And with a plot as intriguing as this one is shaping up to be, that's definitely something I'm grateful for.

Overall, this was a really great start and I'm excited to see where you godwits this story - it already has so much potential!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 12/20 for opposite house)

Author's Response: Hi Taylor! I'm really glad that you stopped by to check out Traitorous Hearts!

I'm really glad that you like the opening flashback. I was really nervous about that when I posted the chapter, because I hadn't tried anything like it before, but the past is very important to this story, so it seemed like a good place to begin.

You've really caught on to a lot of Astoria's character traits in the first chapter. Maybe more than anyone else, at least from what I've seen in reviews. Bravo! And I'm glad you like how Draco is portrayed here. If you keep reading, you'll definitely see some cracks in his plaster. Everyone's got weaknesses, and everyone has secrets.

Thank you very much! You're very kind.

I really appreciate your taking time to Read and Review. Thanks!

--Penny


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Review #10, by ShadowRoseThe Sea Serpent of Cromer : End

15th March 2014:
Hi, I'm back again for this last chapter!

I really love the historical excerpts you've included in this whole story, because I feel like it gives so much more factual basis to the story (even though it is fiction of course) and firmly roots it in magical history by providing all of this context.

This chapter in particular features much more conversation with the children than the previous ones have, which provides a great deal of information about the current scenario. It's horrible that the childrens' parents were killed, but at least they show a greater sympathy for Muggles than the Gaunts did, despite past relations. Plus, this allows Flamel to provide so much more wisdom, which is fitting since he's seen so much of the world.

The conclusion to the story itself was dramatic yet straight-forward, but the part that came after was definitely my favourite. I love how all these different plot points begin to connect to show just how involved this whole plot was, and prove that history is rarely ever exactly the way it's portrayed in the books. There's always something no one's telling us.

I really like the conversation between Perenelle and Nicholas, because it shows the combined wisdom between the two of them. I also love that they switch between English and French as they speak, in order to best express themselves. I love when fluent people do that, it's so entertaining.

Finally, I love the parallel at the end, when the children, fully grown, are standing in the same place Flamel once stood, and everything's changed, yet they still have a deep appreciation for their grandfather and all of the things that he did.

Overall, this was just a joy to read and have such a great insight into a little tidbit of magical history. Great job!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 11/20 for opposite house)

Author's Response: Hi again! :)

I'm glad you like the historical parts! I had fun incorporating them into the story and imagining how the Muggle and wizarding worlds might intersect.

Yes, I was saving it a little bit for the end. I know, I feel so sorry for them, and I imagine it was a typical situation for so many families during the war. :( And yes, it gave Flamel a reason for being there and needing to distract them with the old story and help them forget about their parents for a little while.

I'm glad you liked the ending! It was one of my favourite parts as well, and I wanted to play with how the act itself wasn't the most colourful part of the story, but all the things that went on behind the scenes. The whole thing kind of being rigged and planned was definitely something that the historians wouldn't know about, so I enjoyed putting that into the story.

I'm pleased you liked Nellie and Flamel! :) They seemed cute in my head-canon, I'm quite impressed they've been married for all these years yet still aren't sick of one another. And the French was fun to write!

I'm so glad you liked this - thank you so much for all the reviews! It was really wonderful to get your thoughtful feedback on the story. :)


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Review #11, by ShadowRoseThe Sea Serpent of Cromer : Middle

15th March 2014:
Hello, I'm back again for this second chapter!

Aha, so I was right about it being Flamel! That really does explain so much, and now we know why he's still alive to tell the tale. You've done a great job showing all his wisdom that accompanies his age, and his commentary suggests that he's definitely been around for a long time in order to fully understand how the world works.

Looks like the Ministry's just as corrupt then as it was during the series! Actually, Bode's automatic suspicion of the serpent seemed just like the way the Ministry was with the de mentors in Order of the Phoenix, but at least this time the serpent showed himself to prove that Flamel's story was true.

I always love when little canon details are thrown into stories, so I love that you've mentioned the Gaunts here. You've definitely summarised their family's strangeness well, and captured the character traits we already know about them from the books in your description.

I find it interesting that Peake actually broke into Hogwarts, because that definitely seems like quite a feat. But then again, I'm used to Dumbledore's Hogwarts, so there's probably a wide gap there.

Once again, I really love the style of this story, because it creates two different scenes at once and creates a really great dual nature to the story. I'm intrigued to see ho we defeats the serpent, so I'll be heading on to the next chapter as soon as I get the chance!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 10/20 for opposite house)

Author's Response: Hi again! :) Thanks for coming back!

Haha yes! :P I'm glad you liked him, and his portrayal of the world. He's quite negative in some ways but he has seen a lot, and I hoped that would come through even though he was speaking to little children.

Haha yes, I felt the Ministry would be very corrupt for most of its history since it was pretty bad by the time Harry came along. I'm pleased you liked Bode's suspicion and how it tied in with the typical Ministry disbelief. It felt very frustrating for Flamel but realistic for the times.

I love little canon details too! The Gaunts, well I just couldn't resist, they are quite fascinating to me and of course have the connection to Slytherin. At this point in time they're more respected, but still have that slightly wild hatred and suspicion that we see in the books.

Yeah, I imagined Hogwarts would be very different, and he had a bit of... assistance. Plus I was too lazy to find a whole story for him to get the sword, to be fair. :P

I'm glad you like the dual nature of the story and the style! It's quite difficult to write and I'm not sure I would attempt it again, but it's lovely that you liked it.

Thanks so much for the lovely review! :)


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Review #12, by ShadowRoseThe Sea Serpent of Cromer : Beginning

15th March 2014:
Hi! I was browsing your author's page for Blackout Bingo and decided this story needed a little love!

Okay, so this centers around the Aged Stranger... This may be off, but I get the feeling he's Nicholas Flamel, since he's so old and able to tell the story to his great times eight grandchildren. Plus, he doesn't seem to be afraid of death or think he's going to die anytime soon, so it sounds like he's in possession of something that makes him immortal, so that's even more like Flamel. And Nellie sounds like a nickname for Perenelle. And if I'm wrong that's gonna be really awkward because I thought really far into this. :P

I really like the premise for this story, with slaying the sea serpent as the main story. I think that's definitely something unique, and it'll be really entertaining to read about. And Peakes is trying to find the Sword of Gryffindor? Well, we know that doesn't exactly come easily, so I have to wonder if he'll actually be successful or not.

Your writing style here is totally different from your usual, but I really like it. It does give the illusion that he's telling the story to his descendants, with all the little parenthetical observations. It's great because it creates two different scenes at once - the scene of the story, and the scene in which he's telling the story - which is so much fun to read.

Overall, the was a really great start to the story, and I can't wait to see where you take it from here!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 9/20 for opposite house)

Author's Response: Hi Taylor! :)

Thank you so much for reviewing this story! :D I really appreciate all the feedback on it as it is rather strange. I've really loved your reviews.

Hehe, well you know by now that you were right about him being Flamel. :P I love how people were able to figure that out from the clues.

I'm glad you like the idea for the story! I found the information on the Lexicon and thought it sounded quite interesting. Yes, Peakes is quite crafty, and as you'll know by now he might use some unorthodox methods to get it.

Ah, I know! This writing style was so weird at first, but I'm pleased that I got the chance to try something new and experiment a bit. :) I'm glad you found it fun!

Thank you so much for the lovely review, Taylor! ♥


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Review #13, by ShadowRoseNot Normal: {Chapter the Fifth}

14th March 2014:
Hi, I'm back again for the last chapter (so far)!

I totally connect with Ellie's desire for a perfect and regular morning routine. I'm completely thrown off when I do things in the wrong order, so I totally know where she's coming from. As usual, her narration is perfectly dry and witty (which is so funny, because she's so much better with comebacks in her head than she is verbally, but then again, who isn't?). It cracks me up how much she and Scorpius hate Herbology, because it creates such funny narration throughout that whole scene. And her last line of the chapter is just perfect - I was giggling like an idiot in my empty hotel room when the room service person knocked, so I'm sure she thinks I'm as crazy as Al thinks Ellie is. :P

Ahh, there was a ton of ScoRose in this chapter! They're so cute in the morning when Rose is freaking out and he manages to calm her down so easily - you'd think they had been together for ages! It cracks me up that Rose didn't even notice Ellie sitting across from her because she was so caught up in Scorpius. And aww yay, Scorpius is going to ask out Rose! I can't imagine that she wouldn't say yes, given her behaviour that morning - they're so great together! And wow, look at Elle, giving relationship advice! It's actually all really good advice too, so maybe she should apply it to her own life? Haha, she's so much better with theoretical relationships than actual ones.

Overall, another really great chapter! I really hope you post the next chapter soon - I'd love to read and review it!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 8/20 for opposite house)

Author's Response: My morning is totally dependent on how well I execute my morning routine. It really sets the way you look on your day! Her comebacks are great - she'd have like zero friends though if she said everything that went through her head. People would think her either crazy or rude or both - but let's be real, who isn't crazy and rude in their heads?

ScoRose... Everyone knows they're meant to be in this story... Except them, of course. It's sort of adorable, the way they're just so dense! The thing about Ellie's advice is that it's always great - except she never practises what she preaches. It makes for an interesting sort of dichotomy. She's way better with people in her head, for sure!

Thanks so much for this lovely set of reviews!


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Review #14, by ShadowRoseNot Normal: {Chapter the Fourth}

14th March 2014:
Hello, I'm back again!

Oh gosh, this was such an entertaining chapter. I love Ellie, as usual, and I relate to her so much in this chapter. I'm always spending time by myself, despite my friends' efforts to do something. I love the library, so I see why Ellie likes to spend her free time there. And I love that she got a blank slip signed - what a clever girl!

Oh dear, and then Regulus shows up again! I really like him - he's witty and sarcastic and definitely enjoys bugging Ellie whenever possible. His comments throughout this whole chapter had me giggling like crazy - Sexual Tension Saga was probably the funniest thing I've read all day. And then he goes into Victorian language and I just love him so much because he's so hilarious and makes a pretty darn good ghost. Gosh, he just MAKES this scene.

And Al... his behavior's certainly interesting here. He seems a bit pushy, particularly for someone who claims to dislike Ellie, but I guess he could just be being nosy for the sake of being nosy. It's kinda funny that he keeps trying to figure out what he's doing, just to make her squirm. And he's really interested in this boyfriend... hmmm, I wonder why? ;)

This was such a hilarious and entertaining chapter - great job with it, it kept me laughing the whole time!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 7/20 for opposite house)

Author's Response: I totally understand where you're coming from! Sometimes you just want to be alone with yourself and your thoughts. And libraries are basically the best places on earth, except for maybe museums and planetariums.

I love writing Regulus. He's the first ghost that really gets under Ellie's skin and just doesn't want to leave her alone, which is oddly adorable in its own way. He basically makes any scene he decides to grace!

Gosh! Albus is just a really nosy person in this chapter. It's so weird writing him this way, trying to hide his need to know about other people's lives behind his cool, suave facade!

Thanks for the review!


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Review #15, by ShadowRoseThe Worst: At The Burrow

14th March 2014:
WHAT. NO. YOU CAN'T END A CHAPTER LIKE THAT I AM NOT OK.

*takes a deep breath* I should probably settle myself before I attempt to write a review in all caps. :P

Aww, I love Teddy in this chapter. He's so in love with Dominique, and he shows it in so many ways throughout the chapter - by telling her to let her scar show, insinuating that it's a special night and accidentally almost telling her his plan (I guessed what was going to happen almost immediately at that point and I felt so proud of myself), helping her through her family's weird looks and overconcernedness, and then proposing to her at the end. Gah, that was such a cute proposal and I just want to hug him but I know that's Dominique's job. I can't believe she's saying "no," but I know that'll probably be an important plot point and she has her reasoning, even if it's not the best logic.

I'm so glad that Hermione's stepping in to help! She's so great, and I love that she's going back to her rule-breaking Hogwarts days in order to get this potion for Dominique. "Let’s just say that Voldemort wouldn’t have died if we had all stayed true to rules and laws" was a beautifully perfect line. It's so true and just made me laugh.

Overall, this was a really great chapter, but you really need to update soon because this cliffhanger might just be the death of me!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 6/20 for opposite house)

heard about Jones been taken away

Author's Response: Haha I am so flattered that you've read your way to the end of this, THANK YOU!

I am glad you liked Teddy here, along with the whole family discomfort thing. The proposal was adorable yes, and her reasoning/logic is definitely flawed and stupid in my opinion but we'll know it later xP

It's nice that you liked the bit with Hermione too, and that line xD

Thanks again! I'll try to update as soon as uni gives me some breathing room!


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Review #16, by ShadowRoseThe Worst: A Ray of Light

14th March 2014:
Hey Aditi, I'm back again!

Wow, this is definitely a dramatic chapter. I love how she tries to deny it all at first in order to preserve her innocence, but gradually gets more and more crazy as she realises all the evidence against her. It's so dramatic at by the end as she completely loses it - I love it! She starts off just casually cynical, making a few disparaging comments and accurisng her of being sick and threatening to fire her, but she eventually starts yelling and screaming and trying to make a getaway, which was a really great way to show her descent into madness. Her reasoning, however horrible, definitely seems like something she would view as logical, and I'm glad she got caught for her craziness and everyone knows she's nuts now.

Dominique's gotten so strong as this story has gone on - she's so ruthless here and really lets her anger play a role in intimidating Delilah and getting a confession out of her. I like that she had Teddy ready for back-up - she's definitely done her homework here.

The moment at the end was a great way to wrap it up. After all of the crazy drama, she has a moment of relief to relax with her boyfriend and her best friend, and she almost forgets all of her troubles. After all she's been through, goodness knows she deserved a moment like that.

This was another really great chapter - it was action-packed but came with an immensely satisfying conclusion. I can't wait to see what comes next!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 5/20 for opposite house)

Author's Response: Hey again!

Thanks once more for your lovely review. I am pleased you liked Delilah's evolution of attitude here, or descent into madness as you so aptly described it.

I am pleased you liked Dominique too - she has gotten strong yes. The vulnerable side is still there, but she is pulling herself together.

I am happy you liked the chapter over all along with the conclusion of it. Thanks!


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Review #17, by ShadowRoseThe Worst: Meetings and more.

14th March 2014:
Hi Aditi!

I really love Dom's change in attitude in this chapter. While it's horrible that someone plotted to hurt her, it's definitely put a new fire under her belt and brought her back from the self-pity she's been wallowing in for the past few days. She's got a lot of anger to take out, and she definitely does a good job of intimidating Young into giving her what she wants, even if it means pulling the Harry Potter card.

Wilson Young is definitely an interesting character - he seems like a bit of a wreck, and he doesn't have much of a moral compass, now does he? It seems he was just trying to find a way to get by, and he happened to chose something that was a really immoral and horrible idea. His comment to Dominique, however innocent it may have been, definitely shows how prevalent werewolf prejudice is in their society.

It's also really obvious as she's walking into the office, and everyone's kind of scared of her and wants to keep her at arm's length. It's good that Julia, at least, doesn't feel that way, because at least Dominique has someone to turn to in the office. The dynamic between the two of them is great, and their friendship seems really natural and friendly.

I love Dom and Teddy's relationship in this chapter. They're both so protective of one another but also know when to hold down the other one. They work really well as a couple, because they constantly read one another so well.

Ooh, and a confrontation is about to go down. I love the way you've ended this - it's so dramatic! I hope Delilah Jones goes down, because goodness knows she deserves it.

Another really great chapter!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 4/20 for opposite house)

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing again! Apologies for late response!

I am glad you like Dom's attitude here. She's still hurting inside but she has decided to distract herself from that at the moment and receive justice. I also enjoyed putting in the Harry Potter card - after all the next-gen should have some advantage of that xP

Young is definitely a wreck. He's lost in life and will do anything to get by. He is someone to be pitied really.

I believe true friends and people who truly love you don't abandon you no matter what and Julia is one of them =)

I am glad you like the relationship of Dom/Teddy too, as well as the dramatic ending.

Thanks!


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Review #18, by ShadowRoseNot Normal: {Chapter the Third}

14th March 2014:
Hello! I figured I'd finally come back and review these later chapters for Blackout Bingo! I really like that you start all these chapters with the same phrase - it really ties the whole thing together and it's a really unique element of this story.

I love Ellie's behaviour in the morning - mostly because I'm the exact same way. If you talk to me before I've had my coffee, it's not going to be a pretty situation. Not to mention she has to deal with three shirtless boys sitting in her kitchen. Actually, I just really love Ellie in general. Her commentary is perfect and she always has a snarky thing to say for any situation. Oh gosh, and when she snaps at Potter, I was positively dying - I've totally said the exact same thing before to someone who insinuated I had a small vocabulary. High five to Ellie!

The little story about her old crush on James because he "saved her life" was adorable, and I loved tier little brief interaction with him - it was just awkward enough to be funny yet natural at the same time.

I like her friends so far - Ben seems really cool and funny, and I can wait to get to know him better as the story progresses. And yikes, what's this about the Sorting Hat and something sinister? That Hat's always more insightful than it lets on, so that's definitely not a good sign. I wonder what sinister things are going on - I guess I'll have to keep reading to find out!

I really enjoyed this chapter, so now I'm on to the next one!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 3/20 for opposite house)

Author's Response: I just love how people love the opening phrases! Often they're one of the hardest things to write in the chapter, so it's so great that people appreciate what is literally one sentence out of a bajillion in each chapter.

I'm glad you still like Ellie! She hasn't really started being annoying yet though, so that might have something to do with it! She gets on my nerves sometimes because she just refuses to be written! So. Frustrating. LET ME WRITE YOU.

-end rant-

Ben is a boss - more on him later on in the story. Everyone should be more like Ben! And the Sorting Hat is sinister on the best of days - it's downright creepy when it's a plot device!

Thanks for reading!


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Review #19, by ShadowRoseThe Worst: Decisions and Discoveries

14th March 2014:
Hi Aditi, I'm back again for the next chapter!

There are so many good interactions throughout this chapter. I love the relationship between Dominique and Fleur and Victoire - they seem so close-knit and loving, and it's so great to see a family like that. The decision she had to make was heartbreaking, and I think you did a great job of capturing all the numbness associated with it. I love how supportive her family is being, and how they're all there to be with her as she goes through with the procedure.

I actually really like the little spat between her and Teddy, because it definitely makes their relationship seem more realistic. Teddy's a great guy, but I can see why he'd get fed up with Dominique's behaviour eventually. It's nice that they get over it and Teddy tells her he still loves her even if she can't have children.

Oh wow, this was sabotage? That's dramatic! And Delilah Jones? Wow, I can't believe she'd do something like that! Although, in hindsight it does seem a bit odd that she so suddenly developed this human-interest piece idea, so I wonder if that was part of the motive? I guess I'll have to wait and see!

This was a really great chapter, and a great way for me to get back into this story after such a long time! Good work!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 2/20 on opposite house)

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks again for reading and reviewing! I am pleased you liked the interactions in this chapter between the mother and her two daughters. It was a little out-of-the-comfort-zone thing for me to write as I don't do families but it's good to know you liked it =) As for her decision, it is of course hard but yes her family will be there with her through it all.

Yes, I felt like Teddy is human after all and he can't possibly take Dom's behaviour without reacting. Nonetheless, he still loves her and that is one thing which is a constant in Dom's life.

As for Delilah's motive, yes you'll have to wait and see =) I am glad you're enjoying the story, thanks!


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Review #20, by ShadowRoseThe Worst: More Bad News

14th March 2014:
Hey Aditi - I've been meaning to read and review this story for ages, so what better time than Blackout Bingo?

Wow, Dominique is just having one heck of a day. First her boss comes by, now this bomb? Yikes, I can see why she'd be freaking out - her whole life is falling apart before her eyes.

Teddy's so sweet here, he's so understanding of everything and he's able to finally get her to open up to people, which is something that no one else has been able to successfully do yet. I mean, he's definitely struggling on his own, but he's able to put on a strong face for Dominique and be there for her as all of this is happening. I love how defensive he gets of her when she tells him what happened with her boss - it's so adorable that he cares for her so much!

Wow, that's so heartbreaking for Dominique. I mean, I can definitely see why having a child would be hard as a werewolf, but I'd never really thought about that before. Poor Dominique keeps having all these different opportunities ripped away from her, all because of this one werewolf bite. It's a shame she'll never be able to have kids - I feel like Teddy/Dom kids would be absolutely adorable! I can't imagine what state I'd be in if I had to stomach that kind of news, so I'm definitely proud of her for keeping herself somewhat together as she learns all of this.

Gahh, why'd you have to end it on a cliffhanger? I guess it's not that bad, considering I can just flip to the next chapter, but I can't imagine having to wait to figure out what this decision is referring to - I have to know now! With that, I'm on to the next chapter! :)

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 1/20 on other house)

Author's Response: Hey! I am glad you got a chance to read this story =)

Yes, the story is called The Worst for a reason xP

I am glad you like my Teddy. He definitely knows how to be strong for his loved ones. Harry and Andromeda's upbringing has led to that =)

I always pondered what happens to a female werewolf's child if she's pregnant, and it just didn't make sense for the child inside to survive the transformations. She has kept it together on the outside but it's eating away at her inside, poor Dom.

I do love cliffhangers xD I am glad you're liking the story, thanks!


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Review #21, by ShadowRoseIn My Dying Breath: In My Dying Breath

14th March 2014:
Alli. *breathes heavily* I have no words. Seriously. I don't know how I'm supposed to review this when you've left me so incredibly speechless.

This piece goes so deeply into Snape's character. While you don't talk about his Death Eater days, you instead focus on his "good" traits - in situations where he proves his goodness and almost makes up for some of his cruel behavior throughout his life. But at the same time, you don't try to defend the bad things he's done - there's no denying that he did some horrible things throughout his life, and you don't attempt to gloss over that, yet you still manage to draw out those things that make him so incredibly human. It's all so richly woven with emotion that I can't help but automatically sympathize with Snape - he's gone through so much, and all he cares about is Lily, through everything that's happened to him.

I love the memories you've tied in - while they're not canon memories, they definitely fit with canon and seem like real interactions that could have happened between Snape and Lily. It's nice to see their friendship without the focus on his Death Eater activities, because they're so genuine with one another and it's just so fun to read childhood flashbacks. It's kind of interesting - I feel like all the memories you've chosen focus on different scenarios where Lily could get mad at Snape or be embarrassed to be friends with him - like when he brushes off Muggle inventions, or there's mention of his family life, or he's humiliated in Defence, or he interrupts her while working. It shows that, for a while, Lily really did care for Snape, despite some of the things he did that weren't all that "desirable."

The inclusion of those two Deathly Hallows moments at the very end were absolutely perfect, and really tied the whole piece together. Also, I love the focus on his physical body as he's dying - I can't say I've seen a lot of writers focus on what it feels like, anatomically, to die, as the body shuts down, but you've done that here, and it really gives the story more depth because while Snape's mentally dealing with death, we also see his body physically dealing with it too.

Overall, this piece was beautiful and I'm actually shocked that I managed to create a review that didn't turn into mindless babbling because this piece was just so incredibly amazing that I was pretty sure I was going to lose all sensible thought as I was reviewing this.

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 6/6 on staffer stories)

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Review #22, by ShadowRoseThe Spider's Web: Dipping Toes

14th March 2014:
Hello Jenny! I just couldn't resist coming back for chapter 5!

This chapter consisted of a lot of interactions and not as much mystery, but it was still a really great chapter nonetheless - the conversations between the characters are really great and show quite a bit about them.

Oh my gosh, I felt so much secondhand embarrassment for both Scorpius and Lily when Ernie came in that I actually had to stop reading for a moment to get it out of my system! Wow, to say all of those private matters and occurrences so loudly? Geez, I really want to whack him on the head and remind him that there's a certain thing called privacy and speaking quietly. Poor Scorpius and Lily - they were already so awkward, and now even more so! Plus, Ernie's behavior seems a bit sketchy… Letting the two of them go alone on a mission that should require a team? Giving them odd Muggle tools and forcing them to learn how to use it on the job? Forcing them to leave almost immediately? You mentioned something about an odd look in his eyes, and I get the feeling he's up to something, although I could just be reading too far into things - I do that a lot, actually! :P

Ooh, and Rose comes in too! I find it funny that she tries to pretend she's there to see Lily, when it's blatantly obvious that she's there for Scorpius. She seems a bit jealous, especially after walking in the two of them laughing so hard at something completely ridiculous. Her behavior seems a bit derogatory towards her cousin, but then again, she's Hermione's daughter, so I can't say I'm surprised. Now I'm just interesting to find out exactly what's going on between her and Scorpius!

Lily and Clive - that'll be a fun date. I love that she just blurted that out, almost to make sure she didn't seem like a third wheel in the conversation. She's so adorable, blushing red like that and having to defend herself from a cheeky Scorpius. And aww, she's starting to like him a little bit, even if she doesn't think she does! I love that little twinge of hurt when she sees the two of them together - it's so sad! On a really random note, I keep reading Clive as Chive, so I'm picturing an herb instead of a person - silly me!

Overall, another really great chapter! I loved all the interactions here, but I can't wait to see what happens with Malfoy Manor in the future!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 5/6 on staffer stories)

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Review #23, by ShadowRoseThe Spider's Web: Malfoy Place

14th March 2014:
Hello Jenny! I'm back again for the next chapter!

Wow, this was definitely a dramatic chapter - there's a ton of tension and emotion woven throughout it and it was so much fun to read!

Okay, I think I like Scorpius again (my opinion of him keeps fluctuating and I feel kind of bipolar but he's definitely much better in this chapter than he was in the last). He's definitely softened to Lily, and while he does snap at her at the start of the chapter, he's much softer when they're actually at the Manor, despite the way he may be acting with his parents. Speaking of which, you do a great job showing the disconnect between Scorpius and his parents (well, mostly Draco) in this chapter - it's loaded with tension. I can definitely see why Scorpius is so against Death Eaters now, given his father's behavior.

I do like your characterization of Draco - most next-gen stories have Draco softening up quite a bit, but here, he's definitely just as hardened here as he was in the books, maybe even more so. I do like that you've included little details though, about Draco keeping the biscuits and things like that, to show that Draco still loves his son, despite the estrangement between them. Astoria's an interesting character as well, purely because she's almost the opposite of Draco, and keeps trying to keep them from fighting the entire time and is genuinely kind to both of them.

Lily's determination is just fantastic in this chapter; despite her complete inability to lie, she tries anyway and goes through with interviewing the Malfoys. She's also really good at keeping a level head, but then when the moment's just right, she snaps and makes me love her all that much more. I love that, despite her dislike of being know for her last name, she isn't afraid to pull the Harry Potter card when the situation calls for it. She definitely puts Draco in his place on that one.

Wow, so Malfoy Manor is haunted? That's definitely creepy! It seems like the Manor's a bit like the Shrieking Shack would have been if it were actually haunted. I can't wait to see how that plays into things.

Overall, this was another really great chapter! You've definitely created some great drama, both within individual family relationships, the dynamic between Lily and Scorpius, and the upcoming mystery involving Malfoy Manor. I've really loved this story so far - keep up the good work!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 4/6 on staffer stories)

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Review #24, by ShadowRoseThe Spider's Web: Secrets

14th March 2014:
Hi Jenny, I'm back again!

I think it's kind of funny that I'm always thinking of how independent Lily is, meanwhile she sees herself as such a pushover - but then again, people tend to see themselves differently than how other people see them. She definitely does let people treat her how they want, but she stands up for herself in situations where it really matters, so I respect her for having that kind of discretion between what's worth fighting against and what isn't.

I'm really interested in this enmity (although it's really just one-sided enmity, to be honest) between Lily and Hermione. I'd think Hermione and Lily would get along great - they have such similar traits, both hardworking, more focused on books than appearances, and working in Magical Law Enforcement - so there's gotta be something major that happened that makes Hermione dislike Lily. I hope you'll go into greater detail about that later into the story - it's definitely a very unique element of the story.

Speaking of this scenario, I really like that you only mentioned that Hermione dislikes Lily once, but showed it through actions for the rest of the scene. It really drives home her distaste without having to constantly bring it up in narration. It's always better to show, not tell, and you do just that here.

I like that even through the little snippets of dialogue that each Weasley or Potter has, we see a lot about their character. When working with so many people in one scene, that's definitely a struggle, so it's impressive that you managed to work all of those in there.

Ooh, I'm not sure I like Scorpius as much in this chapter. He got demoted for being rude, and now he's flirting with Bridget? I can't imagine he genuinely likes her, as she seems a bit of a cow, like Lily said, so I guess he's just doing it to get a step towards getting back into the Auror field. That's definitely his inner Malfoy making an appearance.

I'm so intrigued with this Malfoy Manor thing. Looks like Scorpius has a few skeletons in his closet, given his reaction to all of this. That'll be fun to see unfold, for sure. :)

Overall, this was another really entertaining chapter! I was actually intending to only do two chapters of this story today, but you ended with a bit of a cliffhanger, so now I need a resolution. So now I'm heading on to the next chapter!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 3/6 on staffer stories)

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Review #25, by ShadowRoseThe Spider's Web: The Field

14th March 2014:
Hello Jenny!

Please tell me you're joking when you say you hope this wasn't too boring. The entire second half was completely action packed, and even the first part had plenty of character interactions to keep in interesting. If that was a concern, be assured that this chapter was far from boring.

I still absolutely adore Lily. She's so good at standing her own, and while we still see her freak out on occasion, like with Bridget and her probation review, and when she meets Scorpius for the first time, she's very good at keeping her cool, at least on the outside. She's very good at handling herself, especially around Ernie, who's really just kind of creepy at times, and she's got just enough of an independent streak. I love how she completely proves Scorpius wrong and ends up being really useful in the mission! Go Lily! I love Scorpius's comment at the end, because yes, Lily's definitely her father's daughter.

Scorpius seems like a really interesting character as well, through what little we've learned about him. He seemed like he was definitely a bit of a troublemaker and a bully at Hogwarts, but he's not really like that anymore, since he's involved in Magical Law Enforcement. He definitely has an air of superiority that's typical of the Malfoys, but I think it's really interesting that he dislikes Death Eaters so much, considering both his father and grandfather have history with that. I hope you'll elaborate on that one. I like the relationship between him and Lily - it's not a clear like or dislike, just a relationship only cordial enough to get along with one another, which is a dynamic that's surprisingly unique in fanfiction.

Your narration is great - it has just enough description to keep the story flowing without detracting from all the action that's going on in this chapter. I think you managed the whole action scene at the end of the chapter quite well - I know personally those are the hardest types of scenes to write for me, so I definitely have respect for someone who can write a scene like that and do a really good job with it. The pace definitely kept me on my toes, and I liked the dramatics of it all, particularly with the explosion at the end.

Overall, I really enjoyed this chapter - I'm really excited to see what happens next!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 2/6 on staffer stories)

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