Reading Reviews From Member: MadiMalfoy
472 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MadiMalfoyThe second stage of grief: Anger: Chocolate Frogs

17th July 2015:
Hello there! :)

I was just browsing through the recently added stories and came upon yours! The summary drew me in instantly so I just had to see what it was all about.

To be honest, this near about had me in tears. (Granted, it is one in the morning as I'm typing this, but I digress.) The way you've written this is beautiful. Your choice of words is remarkable and your descriptions of the scene and body movements is so fine, I can clearly picture exactly what is going on in my head. I felt Harry's surprise when Teddy metamorphed into Remus. I felt Teddy's anger at Tonks and Remus for leaving him. Really, I just want to continue gushing on and on about how beautifully you've captured this scene. There is clearly a very close relationship between Teddy and Harry here, and you've got that down so wonderfully. Teddy's ability with language as a ten-year-old is amazing as well, and you pulling in Lupin's intelligence as a trait Teddy inherited only furthers the sadness but also goodness of this tale.

Truly, a stunning piece! Wonderful job, dear. :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hello!
Wow that's so nice to hear!! And I see I'm not the only one with a (quite unhealthy) addiction of reading fanfics in the middle of the night!
I'm always very conscious of descriptions because I know that I have a tendency to over describe things. A lot of editing was required to achieve a description I was pleased with, so it's lovely to hear that you think it's good!
I always felt like Teddy would be quite a lot like his father in terms of intelligence and emotions, so I'm glad you caught the fact that it's an inheritance!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

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Review #2, by MadiMalfoyBetrayal: Chapter 1: Dear Remus

16th July 2015:
Hi! MadiMalfoy here with the review you asked for about a month ago. :)

I don't think I've every read a fic focused around Sirius and Remus before, so this is definitely a first for me, so thank you! As far as your concerns go, you have nothing to worry about!

You pulled me in immediately with the letter from this mysterious woman Meredith. It made me ask questions like who is she, how is she important to Sirius versus Remus, why is she in the US, etc. From what I gathered from your story info, I'm assuming she'll be a love interest for Sirius or Remus? You've managed quite nicely in a short intro to capture my interest and keep the attention there to want to continue reading on. You used enticing language to describe the scenes and characters which exhibits your high skill level when it comes to that sort of thing.

I think you've got a great premise here and I'd be happy to come back again to help you improve! :) Feel free at any time to re-request.
~MadiMalfoy x

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Review #3, by MadiMalfoyThe Shadows Within: Prologue

15th July 2015:
Hi! I'm over from the forums with the review you asked for about six weeks ago! :)

Since you asked for just a general review, I'll touch on everything briefly.

You've done a great job setting up what I'm sure is going to be quite the dark story with this prologue! It's a nice length as well--it's not too short so we feel like something is missing, but it's also not too long so we feel like there's too much information given already. I really like your premise for this, I can already tell it's going to be quite the mystery and adventure.

With Voldemort's characterization, you've got him down pretty well so far. The intimidation factor is SO there and I love it! His movements and words and thoughts are so logical and straightforward and you capture that perfectly! His reasoning is sound and the way the other characters react to him give the reader the right perception of his persona. Voldemort's got this sort of eerie super calm demeanor and with the dialogue and body movements you give him it is apparent and there and that is a very cool thing!

Overall, a great start to what I'm sure is going to be a great First War fic. However you pull in the Marauders will be very well done, I'm sure of it! Please feel free to come back for more at any time! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

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Review #4, by MadiMalfoyBroken Memories: The Velvet Box

15th July 2015:
Hello, here with your long-awaited requested review from the forums! :)

Yay for Fred/Angelina & George/Angelina! Although obviously not in a very happy way right now...But anyway, onto the review! You were concerned with characterization, pacing, language, and formatting so I'll briefly touch on each of those things.

You've done a wonderful job so far with keeping close to canon for George and Angelina's characterization. Obviously they're both grieving so they can't be as happy-go-lucky and upbeat as usual, but you haven't made them seem way too down and dark. The way you had George talk about reopening Weasley's Wizard Wheezes is a great example of a coping mechanism for grieving and I'm glad you have it in some detail and we see it from Angelina's side as well.

The pace for an introductory chapter is actually quite nice--you break it up with the flashbacks at relevant points so it doesn't break up the flow, but rather assists it in moving the plot along because you get that background information you need to understand what is going on in present time. To be honest, I quite enjoy the format you've got this in because of what I just mentioned and also because it makes the story more interesting and seem a little less depressing for the whole thing.

Your use of language is great! You have great descriptions and utilize character traits to express their emotions and body language even better! I caught a few grammar errors here and there but nothing major enough to interrupt story flow.

I really think you've got a great story here and I'd be more than happy to help you get your muse back for this! You're welcome to come back and request more at any time! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hi Madi!

Thank you so much for the review!

I've actually sort of got back on my feet with this story. Chapter five is in the queue now! So hopefully it won't take me another two and a half months to knock out chapter six. Reviews like this really help my process. It's nice to know what's working and that people are actually reading what I've written.

I'm happy you actually liked the time jumps. It's an idea that I had for a while before finally writing it all down. I've tried to make it so the memories make sense with the present events and as you say, provide background and also off-set the saddness of present day.

I'll definitely be going back through it to catch those grammar errors also. Thanks for mentioning that!

I hope to see you in my reviews again soon!

Thanks again!


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Review #5, by MadiMalfoyBaby Blanket: Confusion

10th June 2015:
Hello! :) I've popped over from the forums for your requested review :)

Firstly, FRANK AND ALICE!!! I remember when I first read the books I wanted to know what had happened to them and what kind of people they were before they lost their lucidity. Plus, I haven't seen a whole lot with them being the focus of the story and what it's like to be inside their minds.

You were concerned with the plausibility of the scenario and Alice's characterization. With Alice, I think you've done a beautiful job in capturing how her train of thought and her perception of the world around her works after being tortured so extensively by Bellatrix. Her confusion as to why Neville continuously calls her mum is a great example showing the effects of her memory loss.

As far as this being a believable scene, I would say it is one hundred percent plausible. The fact that Alice still has some memories--if faint and slightly altered than reality--and utilizes them to do something in the present speaks to her fight to interact with this young man in the only way she knows how. You clearly did your research for this piece, and your talent in turning a phrase elevates what could have been just a simple story about just another day in Alice's unchanging world.

A truly thought provoking read! Great job on this! Please feel free to request another review in the future! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hi Madi!

Thanks for dropping in!

Frank and Alice have always been really interesting to me. I've actually written a couple of stories about them now, but this might be my favorite.

I'm glad that you think my portrayal of Alice seems realistic. Insanity can work in funny ways and her story is always portrayed in such a depressing light. I just wanted to sort of make her happy.

It's a relief to hear that this seems plausible. I was so worried that it would be too happily ever after and I wanted it to retain at least an element of reality. I'm ecstatic that you like where I went with it.

Thank you so much again for your time and your kind words! I definitely will.


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Review #6, by MadiMalfoyDestiny Beckons: 1. An Unexpected Delivery

24th May 2015:
Hello there! Tis I, MadiMalfoy, from the forums with your requested review from about a month and a half ago! :)

Getting right down to it, time travel is something I kind of forgot existed in the HP world?? Like I just managed to forget time turners were a thing for a little while there and was wondering how this was going to work without a TARDIS (Thanks, Doctor Who)? But now that I've recovered my faculties, I think this is an interesting idea! Obviously, as this is only the prologue--and therefore very brief--it doesn't do much plot-wise except set up for what will surely be a wild ride into the past. But the coherency is pretty great, although I am somewhat confused as to why Hermione would be in a dormitory that technically was never hers since she didn't attend for her final year. and since the Battle concluded a mere several hours prior, I don't think that adults would have wanted anyone wandering around alone in the castle until they were positive all of the Death Eaters and sympathizers were rounded up.

However, your impeccable grammar and flowing sentence structure adds to the plot and makes the reader feel like they're experiencing the scene with Hermione. This goes hand in hand with the descriptors you used, and used well. A lot of times I encounter people who throw too many description-type words and sentences so the plot and the story gets bogged down (like Tolkien writes basically) in that and not the storyline. You have a great balance of description versus action, which can be tricky to do in first person POV. I'm curious to see how you manage to pull Snape as a student(?) into Dumbledore's plot for all of this to happen, so reader interest is definitely there.

Great job on an opening chapter to what I'm sure is a great fic! Please feel free to re-request for this story or any other of yours anytime! :)

~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing. Glad you enjoyed the story.

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Review #7, by MadiMalfoyUntouchable: Prologue: Afflicted

24th May 2015:
Hiya! :) I'm here with the review you requested a little over a month ago!

So firstly, I'm just so ecstatic that 2/3 of the slots in my thread were Dramione, and that they were both super unique. With yours, I'm VERY intrigued as to how you came up with the premise and the logistics of the curse! It sounds similar to what Rogue is like in the X-Men comics/movies, so I am very curious about whether or not you'll end up having her discover a cure or something of the sort. The narrative really helped move the story along actually--it wasn't too descriptive but hearing Hermione's train of thought and the way she was seeing the battle in the department of mysterious is a fresh perspective on the chilling events. Also! Killing Malfoy senior accidentally because he touched her should totally cause more friction than usual between Hermione and Draco, yes? Considering it is technically her fault he's now dead (even though he is the one who cursed her but I digress).

What a fantastic start to what I'm sure is going to be a great novel! Please don't hesitate to re-request once you've updated this with another chapter! :)

~MadiMalfoy x

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Review #8, by MadiMalfoyUpper Class: Chapter One

24th May 2015:
Hello! This is me (inexcusably) here for your requested review from so long ago you most likely completely forgot about it!

Okay so first of all, I was somewhat confused by the summary due to your use of the word "teacher" to describe Draco but now I get it! I think if you changed that to "mentor" or something similar it would work better. The summary did draw me in though, so no worries about that! :)

I have yet to read a fic where Hermione is actually a pureblood (somehow!) and then gets involved with Draco due to that. Basically, this is good because while it is a cliche of Dramione, it's not so common (at least on HPFF) where it gets boring. I think you've got quite the interesting premise here--I've seen lots of stories where Hermione is actually Blaise Zabini's long-lost twin and then falls in love with Draco that way, or she was adopted by the Grangers and finds out her biological parents were rich purebloods. I like that you're keeping her with her parents and how that dynamic will play out. It's also quite interesting that Ron & Harry would have a flat together even though I'm sure Ron knows Harry & Ginny are totally together (If you're sticking with that bit of canon) and that would cause tension like no other.

The only CC I really have for you would be to add more description in. Describe the scene; are Hermione's hands shaking? What about her voice, what does that sound like? Do the couch cushions squeak as the boys sit down beside her? Things like that really pull the reader into the story and helps them visualize what it is you see perfectly clear in your head.

Anywho I really enjoyed this introductory chapter--if a bit short--and I would be happy to continue reviewing this at your request. :)
~MadiMalfoy x

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Review #9, by MadiMalfoyRabbit Heart: 4. Hearts and Minds

30th March 2015:
Hello hello! It's been a good 2 and a half months since you requested this review, and severely apologize!

Anywho, I decided to read a few chapters to really get into the plot a little bit more as per your request, and boy did it get interesting! The point of view change between Wren & Albus really helps to thicken the plot somewhat and explains how both of them are nervous for tow different things but they can't tell the other (or won't tell) about it, which is killing the other. I am very curious to see where you go with Wren's bunny--I have an inkling you've pulled stuff in from the first chapter with the bunny and that it will be a subplot/plot device later on. Also I am excited to see how you work with Albus's crush on Wren and his increasing awkwardness as he grows taller, and also Wren's understanding of the feelings she might possibly be developing for Albus too.

I am very very interested to see what Albus manages to do with getting back at James for all the pranks this summer! Eep, I'll definitely be back to read more of this when I have more time! Please feel free to re-request again! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hello to you!

I'm so glad you came over to read, and thanks so much for reading ahead a few chapters. It's really the only way I can get people to comment on plot arcs. Not that I mind the chapter-by-chapter reviews, but I hardly ever get crit on overall arcs, so thanks.

Ah, the rabbit is very integral to the plot. He's in there, all the way. I'm not sure if I handled Albus' prolonged awkwardness enough, but I definitely followed through with the pranking issue. In fact, it's about to wrap up in a chapter or two, which I'm excited about.

Thanks so much for the read-through. I'll definitely rerequest again!


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Review #10, by MadiMalfoyThe Internal Monologue of Annett Sinclaire Kluge: Yang’s Audacity

30th March 2015:
Hello there! You've probably forgotten about this requested review since it was from 2 and a half months ago, but I've returned! :)

Anywho, I decided to read a couple of chapters instead of just one to make up for the ridiculous time frame. :3 I forgot how much I enjoyed Annette's characterization and thought process. The detail with which she thinks/you write is amazing and really puts it in her perspective so it's like the reader is actually in the scene as Annette. I loved that she was able to work magic and science together so beautifully! The whole premise of being a muggleborn with a heavy science background and thirst for knowledge concerning magic and science together really makes the plot of these last two chapters work very well together! SCIENCE.

Ahem, anyway, more to the point of this chapter. I think it's absolutely hilarious how many people are involved in this bet and the fact this many are involved only after being on the train for a few hours. It's somewhat ridiculous and preposterous but I can't wait to see what you do with it in the coming chapters! As you touched on how others perceive Annette as a "lonely cat-lady needing human affection" i think that you could totally go the route of aromantic/asexual (if you haven't already) if it's not an important plot point later on, or even if it is. Some people are simply more interested in doing sciency things than getting laid even as teenagers.

Overall, a great two chapters, and I'll do my best to read further along once I have more time! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Madi!

Thank you so much for yet another review. :D I am super happy to see you continue to enjoy Annett's characterisation. She's amazing fun to write. That you feel that you're in the scene with Annett makes me even more happy! Thank you. And yes! SCIENCE!

I guess that's what happens when a Potter or a Weasley gets involved and when the Potters and the Weasleys have a relatively strong familial connection. :P Ridiculous and preposterous was very much what I was going for to further alarm Annett. She is! She is certainly more interested in doing sciency things than getting laid. Absolutely. But more than that, you may find that she is more interested in doing sciency things than perhaps even hanging around friends.

Again, thank you for this spectacular review!


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Review #11, by MadiMalfoyEverything About You: Everything About You

24th March 2015:
Hello! :)

I decided to procrastinate longer on my essay and read this lovely one-shot of yours! :)

I've read my fair share of Draco/Hermione one-shots (OTP oops) that take place during Hogwarts at some point where Draco's feelings are either unrequited or hers are simply unknown or left up to the reader to decide, but yours doesn't do that. It's actually quite a sweet one-shot, and the song lyrics fit in so subtly (if you had any in there) it's truly wonderful! Your characterization of Draco is definitely something I'd hope he'd turn out to be like in future canon (even though we really have no way of truly knowing) with his wife. He's retained his brooding nature and all those good Slytherin qualities, but he's become a better man through his observing of Hermione throughout the years. The ending is so cute I nearly squished my own cheeks at how adorable it was!

A remarkable piece, I'll definitely have to come back and read some of your other pieces later! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time out to give this a read! I put a lot of pressure on myself with this oneshot, because I don't have a lot of experience with Draco as a character or Draco/Hermione as a pairing. I started a multi-chapter with them, but it hasn't gotten to their interactions yet so this was a bit of a trial run for me! :) It means a lot that you enjoyed the characterization of him. I didn't want him to lose the Draco-ness that we love, which I feel sometimes happens. Thank you again!


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Review #12, by MadiMalfoy2% Cotton, 98% Boyfriend Material: Puns

17th February 2015:
Hello! I thought I'd just stop by once I took a break from homework! :)

Jily is something I've been meaning to read more of but of course, RL gets in the way so I remain horribly behind on stuff I actually have to read on here :P Anywho, I quite enjoyed this one-shot! It's very lighthearted and full of puns--loved all of them, especially the last one with Remus & Sirius! Sometimes writers can go a bit overboard with puns and the humor seems forced, but this flows so well and has just the right amount of boyish charm and failure at being suave. A wonderful quick read, and I will have to take a look at your author page later on! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Oh my goodness hello! I did not expect a review on this today!

I can completely understand being really busy with life. Sometimes you just want to read fanfiction but literally everything else is trying to get into your way. I'm so glad to hear that you enjoyed the one-shot! My favourite pun to write was the one between Remus and Sirius, it hit me a few moments before I finished writing it and I just had to put it in.

I understand what you mean by the humour going overboard and seeming a bit forced so I'm glad to hear that I got it just right. Thank you so much for reviewing!

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Review #13, by MadiMalfoyDaydreaming: Daydreaming

2nd February 2015:
Hiya! Here with your review :)

Eep yay I love Dramione (as you probably noticed) and have read quite the wide variety, but nothing like this! It's unique in that it's a daydream and not some fantasy being played out--it's a somewhat innocent dream. Although of course with Draco involved, nothing is ever innocent ;) Speaking of Draco, I enjoyed his characterization! I think you nailed it with his suave nature and ease with which he seduces Hermione, and straight dismissal of her once he wakes up from his dream. It's very true to his character, so great job with him! Hermione is good as well--when Draco is observing her and describing her facial expressions, that is spot-on with how I feel she reads books as well!

As far as flow and plot go, I think it works out well! Seeing as you did have to cut it down to 1000 words, you managed pretty well to keep the beef of the story intact while still finding room to describe everything necessary too, which can be a difficult task sometimes! So far as the ending, I think it's hilariously funny and totally fits the characters! Typical of Draco to doze off and have a fantastical dream and Hermione to be studying like usual but still being a decent human being and waking him up to save him further embarrassment (or just to save the integrity of the book, but who really knows).

Great job with this, I really liked it! Feel free to come back any time! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Aww, thank you. It's so nice to hear you think this Dramionie is different from other stories. I very much enjoyed writing the dream scene, although I wouldn't call it or anything involving Draco exactly innocent, lol. And I'm so glad you thought the characterization of Draco and Hermione was spot on, I tried very had to keep it that way, even with the dream in the middle of it. The ending is definitely my favorite part! I'm so glad you and other readers have responded so well to it, it was fun writing a more humorous moment after that intense dream.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing this story. I may come back for more reviews if/when I finally post something new.


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Review #14, by MadiMalfoyThe Internal Monologue of Annett Sinclaire Kluge: Spontaneous Combustion of Dairy Products: A Prologue

13th January 2015:
Hiya! Here with your requested review! :)

Eep yay my thread has just been hit with obscure character and original character stories and I just love it! But you know what I love more? SCIENCE. I seriously just added this to my reading list because SCIENCE. I have yet to read basically any book where the main character was interested/invested in science, let alone a girl! I'm so very happy you've written this fic!

Putting my fangirling aside, your concerns were about flow, characterization, humor, and level of interest. I'll hit them in that order! :) As far as plot goes, I really quite enjoy it already! There's not many fics out there that focus on a muggleborn's adjustment to going to a magical school and how it would affect their personalities and entire lives. It has a great interest level just for that aspect, in my opinion! You move it along at a pace where we're still able to gather information about your OC and her family while her life advances until she's eleven. At first, I was unsure of the era (because I forgot to read it oops) when Annett read "Mr. Lupin" I thought it was Lupin as in Remus, not Teddy, but I'm glad it was Teddy because it makes a lot more sense :P I'm glad you used the settings you did--the train ride, the sorting ceremony, and the brief time before bed--because those can all be really mind-blowing for a muggle-born to see for the first time ever.

As far as characterization goes, I think you've done a splendid job so far! With as many characters as you're throwing in, I'm proud of you for just managing to juggle everyone and remember whose talking and where they're at in each scene, so kudos for you on that! I think it's quite humorous so far, and I tend to have a very sarcastic/dry sense of humour, so don't worry about that part at all. The Wotters just naturally have a sort of humor about them, simply because there's so many of them and they always seem to be together! So in conclusion, I would definitely read on and find out how Annett deals with realizing she has magic and goes to a magic school and how she comes to terms with all that is implicated with that. Great job, please feel free to re-request anytime! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hi Madi!

Thank you so much for this review [hug]. You're so sweet!

AND I'M SO EXCITED THAT YOU LOVE SCIENCE BECAUSE, as you might have figured, I LOVE SCIENCE, TOO! DOES THAT MAKE US BEST BUDDIES, NOW? Although, I may have stalked your profile and read that you like science and that may have been why I requested a review specifically from you, but you. . . ahem. . . you didn't read that. ;)

Phew! and YAY! I so glad that you think it all worked out. Wow, again, thank you! I really appreciate you taking the time to read and review. The flow was what I had trouble with most before some serious editing, I'm thrilled to hear that it's better now. That may be precisely why I chose those settings, actually. Haha. This chapter was certainly an exploration on some kind of logical/more realistic Muggle reactions to the peculiarities of the Wizarding World. It's super bizarre and foreign so I really tried to show that.

Eep! Thank you! That one I tried to accomplish by mentally playing out the scene. And I'M SO GLAD YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY because my biggest worry is that it may only be funny in my head. Plus, making readers laugh is my ultimate goal with most of my writing. :D

Well, if you insist. ;) Thank you again for such a helpful review, you've eased so many worries of mine at the same time. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Madi!


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Review #15, by MadiMalfoyRabbit Heart: 1. Have a Heart

13th January 2015:
Hello! MadiMalfoy here with your requested review from a couple weeks ago! :)

Yay for obscure characters/original characters! These kinds of stories are my favorite :) Okay so you were mainly worried about plot flow and interest level, and also if your subplots were dragging or you were using too many characters.

Since this is just the first chapter and you have to introduce your OC Wren Longbottom, I don't think you have to worry about it dragging just yet, or using too many characters. It's the opening chapter so it's meant to set up the story and reel the reader in--which it does. Even with an OC, your opening lines intrigued me and made me want to read further in the story and figure out what this bright light was and why it had such a negative connotation to Wren. As far as the flow of the plot, I think you've got it moving along quite nicely, and your descriptions of the scenes are absolutely stunning and really help us as readers imagine the world you're seeing in your head as you write. Your spare usage of passive voice also helps as well as it keeps us from trudging along with "was helping" and "were running" etc. You cut straight to the point but still retain the necessary elements of a story and embellish it well.

Great opening chapter, feel free to request again! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hi!

I'm glad you liked my choice of characters from canon. The story concept came way before the character selection, and I thought that Wren was a good choice for it. She has the background that I found intriguing, and it seemed to mesh nicely with what I had in mind.

I try hard not to slip into passive voice, unless it's absolutely necessary. The scene should have forward momentum, and I don't want it to start dragging. That's not to say that passive voice doesn't have a place. But I like to use it as sparingly as possible.

Thanks for the feedback. I will definitely re-request!

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Review #16, by MadiMalfoyBewildered: Prologue

12th January 2015:
Hi there! I'm here with your requested review! :)

First of all, yay for Game of Thrones! (I just finished watching the TV show this morning!!) Second of all, yay Scorose! I haven't read much Scorose in a long time so this was a great refresher of why I love the ship! :) Anywho, in your areas of concern you wrote that you were worried you rushed the relationship between Rose & Scorpius, characterization & carbon copying their parents, and general plot and tenses. I will hit them in opposite order of this list, so here we go!

I didn't notice any tense slip-ups, so you're perfect on that! However, I did notice some extra commas in places; a quick fix for that is to read it out loud and stop where all the commas are, then if anything feels awkward, get rid of the comma! As far as plot goes, it's definitely different than the usual! Scorpius being a bad guy and following some guy named Stark (I see the GoT reference there!) whose got similar ideals to Voldemort (although hopefully not as violent).

With characterization, Scorpius is your typical bad-boy Slytherin while Rose is the Golden Girl of Gryffindor. While those are sort of archetypal and make them seem very much like carbon copies of their parents, I think you can twist it so that they make their roles & places in Hogwarts/general society work for them better than Draco and Hermione were able to do. I'd love to see some parental interaction, actually! I think that would help lessen your worry of making them carbon copies of their parents as well. And finally, I don't think you rushed their relationship at all yet! I mean, you could have possibly given them some interaction before this year/opening scene, etc, but you didn't push anything. He's just being a gentleman--like he was raised to be--and walking her back to her dormitory in the middle of the night for her safety. Nothing out of the ordinary there. ;)

Really, a wonderful prologue and I'd be happy to do the second chapter for you if you re-request! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Yay!

I know I love GoT! I'm in the middle of the book series right now, but it's so looong! Ha ha!

Awesome, I'm always worried about my tense!

I'll try that with the commas thank you!

Oh yes, Stark is far different from Voldemort in getting what he wants and it's a bit ironic about what they both actually want...

In the next chapter actually both sets of parents are introduced so there you go! Ha ha!

And thank you! I'm so worried that they seem to be going too fast in their relationship, but the novella spans a pretty big chunk of time so hopefully readers will understand!

Thank you so much!!


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Review #17, by MadiMalfoySympathy, Tenderness: Offer Me Your Embrace

7th January 2015:
Hi Ilia! :)

Okay so I'm glad you decided to end it where we discussed it--it's a much more natural ending than if you had decided to throw a kiss or more in at the end. I do enjoy Hermione kissing Draco's forehead though! Such an innocent gesture contradicts the loss of innocence of Draco perfectly. I think Erica will absolutely love this for its dark theme and topic, and also for the bond Draco and Hermione form in his apartment after their argument. It's not cliched whatsoever, in my opinion, because it doesn't take things a step further with them. You actually write Dramione beautifully, and I think you could definitely write more of them! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Madi! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I am so thankful for your help. You're right, it feels more natural to stop where I did. I'm glad I didn't spin it wildly out of control and turn it into trash! Oh my gosh, thank you. I actually really enjoyed writing this pair so I may write more of them to be honest :P thank you so much!

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Review #18, by MadiMalfoyYour Life, Your Love: Sink or Swim

6th January 2015:
Hi Joey! :)

This is right up my alley because it's got obscure characters (I consider next gen relatively obscure because we're given hardly any canonical information about them) and angst! I will say, I usually don't read stories that are formatted like this (perhaps it's just because I love long stories) but I really enjoyed this piece and it made me sad at the same time! Such a sorrowful yet beautiful love story you created here, I could empathize with Albus at the end. My only question is whether or not Destiny died or divorced him. From the tone and progression of time through the story, I want to go with she died because that makes slightly more sense. Either way, it's a heartbreaking end and wrenches your gut when you realize Albus only has himself to relive his memories with now.

A truly magnificent piece, Joey! Thanks for doing the swap! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hi there! (let's pretend this response isn't horribly late)

I'm glad you took the time to read this even though one-shots aren't your thing! I'm so glad you liked this, I had a lot of fun writing it! I'd say that Destiny died, just because this reads more like a celebration of her life than someone who has just been dumped by their wife. I did leave it ambiguous purposefully though.

Thank you so much for the review!

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Review #19, by MadiMalfoyTurning the Tables: Turning the Tables

31st December 2014:
Hello! MadiMalfoy here with your requested review! :)

I'm not a fan of Snape/Lily usually, but this one isn't so bad :P As far as plot flow goes, I think it flows very smoothly and transitions into each scene quite well! The plot itself seems plausible enough, considering what canon Marauders seem to be like and how they treated Snape, even if this is supposed to be AU. I love your characterization of Lily as well! Many people seem to forget that she is a caring person (I mean she did die for Harry and everything) so I'm glad you expanded on that part of her personality, and use it to get back at the Marauders for hurting Snape so bad.

This is quite the fun piece, I will admit! Great job with it, and congrats on first place with it! Feel free to re-request anytime! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for reviewing this! I don't know if I'm a fan of Snape/Lily, but it was something I wanted to write. I'm glad you don't think it's bad, lol. And I'm glad you think it flows very well, too. It is AU, because I wrote it for a challenge that wanted AU and specified the characters had to be meeting for the first time, but I wanted to keep them in character as much as possible. James and Sirius did a lot of mean, immature things to Severus, and Lily is a very caring person, these are things I wanted to keep in my story. I'm glad you thought it was a fun piece, too.

Thanks so much for agreeing to review this and maybe I'll re-request soon with something a little more to your preference!


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Review #20, by MadiMalfoyMonster: Monster

31st December 2014:
Hello hello! I'm here with your requested review from...2 months ago...oops. :]

Anywho, onto the actual review! You voiced concerns about writing style, theme, and overall darkness. As far as writing style goes, this is the first piece I've read in second person, and it's done really well. Writing in second person is tricky at best, but you execute it wonderfully! It really pulls the reader is because, without mention of the character's name whose POV it's sort of in right away, it makes us think it's happening to us. The writing style is great, and as far as I can see, you didn't have any grammatical or spelling errors either!

With theme and overall darkness, I think the theme just makes it dark anyway :P The theme is really great though--it's a much different take on a story with vampires (and monsters in general). The way you've made it so it's different scenes from Rose's life at the family vacation home helps to draw the darkness even more as she ages because the darkness is also aging, watching, and waiting. What a twist that I just knew was coming at the end too!

Really, a remarkable piece! Please feel free to come back for more whenever you'd feel like it! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I am pleased you found the second person okay and the writing style good. Thank you =)
The theme is supposed to be dark so I am glad it worked. Thank you!

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Review #21, by MadiMalfoyLife As We Know It: chapter seventeen

30th December 2014:
Well it has been a mighty long time since I read this last! But I had some free time so I decided to catch up on this and see where you were going with it! :)

They kissed!!! And it wasn't overly done or anything! It fit the situation and its purpose well. (And it just made me happy because yay Dramione) :) You write without adding unnecessary prose or description. First person can sometimes be a little tricky, but you write Hermione very well! Sometimes wielding canon characters in different situations (namely Dramione in this case) can be difficult and come across as extremely OOC, but you handled the information given to Hermione very well and adapted canon events to fit with everything. And I liked the little bit with Bill--helps to flesh out his character and how he actually got the scars from Fenrir (since I seem to be forgetting how he canonically gets them; I must need to reread the books again).

Overall, these last couple of chapters were splendid and I'm excited for more! Although I'll most likely be late on them, I'll still do my best to get around to upcoming stuff as soon as I find free time! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

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Review #22, by MadiMalfoyLove, Not War: Prolouge: Blessed With a Son

30th December 2014:
Hi there! MadiMalfoy here with your quite overdue review! :)

Wow. This is quite the opening-ish chapter! What a thing to be put on poor infant Draco! Seeing as he is basically my favorite character ever, I'm very curious to see where you go with this! Wonderful characterization of Lucius and Narcissa as well! I despise Voldemort even more than I usually do in fics because you've made him more sick and twisted than canon has him. Having to sign Draco over to the Dark Lord literally minutes after he's born has got to be a wake-up call, and plant the seeds of doubt about Voldemort's ways into Lucius and Narcissa's heads, don't you think? ;)

There was one thing that stuck out to me, however. Lucius and Narcissa's dialogue seems somewhat too colloquial for two purebloods of their standing. They typically are much more formal in speaking, even in intimate situations; it's just how purebloods are--much like royalty/nobility way back when. Other than that, however, it was a great prologue and definitely grabbed my attention and kept me interested all throughout. Great job! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

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Review #23, by MadiMalfoyAt Midnight: Mirage

30th December 2014:
Hi there! I am really really very sorry for not getting to this sooner! Once I got caught up in NaNo and that finished, then it was time for finals and my review thread just sort of slipped my mind! But anyway, here I am with your ridiculously late review! :)

Your area of concern said that you thought it was one of your weaker stories. I haven't had the pleasure of reading any of your other pieces, but if you think this is isn't one of your stronger stories, then you must write some really amazing stuff! *Instantly peruses author page* Hmmm...yes it seems that you write wonderfully with literally anything you do, especially angst!

I've always been intrigued with minor characters and other people's interpretations of them and how they deviate from canon or continue with the little we're given from good ol' JK.

Your characterization of Teddy is quite frustrating! He's so rude to Molly simply because he's ignorant of how to deal with her. Yes, he's had to let girls down before, but he is incapable of doing it properly with Molly because they are so closely "related." And Molly! She is truly a wonderful character, I think. Many people write her off as just the daughter of Percy and Audrey, as no one worth mentioning a whole lot. But you took her in and gave her own story, and I really quite enjoy that! Now, this mystery man, I want to say it's Scorpius Malfoy, but I honestly have no clue! It could be any old blond-haired, green-eyed teenage boy of your own imagination. Either way, I truly enjoyed his moments with Molly. Almost like a fantasy...

I think the length of this chapter was perfect for the setup, even if longer than the average. Some things just can't be cut in half. This was a great opener and I'd be happy to do the second as well, if you feel like re-requesting! Marvelous story :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: HELLO!

Thanks for stopping by and I'm sorry for waiting so long to get back to you. Hahaha.

For some reason, we don't see a lot of stories featuring Molly II and I think that's a shame. She's a really good character to mold and I enjoyed writing her.

Teddy is frustrating and not at all pleasant but that was on purpose. I wasn't able to really get him the way I wanted here but you see much more of him in the story, "Transparent" if you want to check that out.

The mystery man is NOT Scorpius Malfoy, who is about nine or ten in my universe. So that is NOT happening. Hahahhaha. I'm glad that you liked the chapter and I hoped to see you again!

Thanks again!

Much love,


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Review #24, by MadiMalfoyThe Diagon Alley Gentlemen's Club: Prologue

26th December 2014:
Hello hello, here for our little swap! I wanted to experience some of your writing style before we collaborated so that way i could relatively match mine to yours!

Anywho, I think this is quite the introduction! It quickly and effectively introducing and describing characters. It's quite the premise, especially with the title and your OCs job. Im very intrigued as to where you go with this and who you pull in from canon! Great start, I'm excited for our collab! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hi Madi!

Unfortunately this is not my normal writing style, but even so - I'm so glad you liked it! I'm excited for our collab too and thanks so much for this wonderful review!

Lo :)

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Review #25, by MadiMalfoyA Man Barely Breathing: Until I take my last breath.

30th November 2014:
Hello hello!!

You know how much I love a good Dramione, and yours even more so!

Anywho, I needed a break from scrambling to finish up NaNo so I just happened upon this little thing and decided I had to read it! Considering the wide variety of Dramione stories I've read, I had yet to read one that involved divorce until now, which is surprising to me!

Draco's despair and desperate love for Hermione gets me every time. The fact that the divorce even came about because of miscommunication about miscommunication says something about marriage itself. The judge is so kind and insightful, and that really speaks volumes about people involved in the lower judicial systems and how they can change clients' lives by thinking about the situation a little more thoroughly than they usually would care to do.

As always, a truly splendid piece! :) ♥
~MadiMalfoy x

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