Reading Reviews From Member: MadiMalfoy
  
445 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MadiMalfoyHarbor: Harbor

1st August 2014:
And once more. :)

Hinny is probably one of the few canon ships I actively write about (unlike Molly/Arthur & Lucius/Narcissa who I simply know are always together). Songfics are not usually my cup of tea (although I have written one...) but this one is great because you don't focus heavily on the lyrics; rather you just have them in there to inspire the characters and scenes there.

Your characterization of Ginny is fabulous, and don't let anyone ever tell you differently! The movies-in my opinion at least-really took away her don't-take-no-for-an-answer and strong, independent attitude and you've brought it back. I think that because you glossed over the stuff typically seen in Harry's POV, you were really able to focus and pinpoint exactly how Ginny felt towards Harry and how it affected her and also him.

Really, I couldn't wish for a better Head of Ravenclaw house, and definitely not someone with so much writing skill and talent and love for the Weasleys! Thank you, WeasleyTwinMom. :) ♥
~MadiMalfoy x

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Review #2, by MadiMalfoyTwins!: Twins!

1st August 2014:
Hello again! :D

This little one-shot about Molly finding out she’s having twins is so cute! Already mother of three, I think she’s got it down pat. Charlie, Bill, and Percy are so adorable!! Causing Molly so much trouble at such young ages, no wonder she’s so good at handling mayhem later on! I can just imagine her telling Arthur the news and getting angry with him for somehow providing her two more boys instead of just one!

It really highlights how much of a mother she truly is, and I love that about this piece. Her relationship with Healer Whitlock is great too! Internally, I feel like Molly is excited to have two more children, even if they are both boys and not the girl she wants, because they are two more things that her and Arthur created together and she’ll love them just the same. :)

Your love of all things Weasley has really made me want to not only read more Weasley-centered fics but also try my hand at writing them. Thanks for being amazing!! :) ♥

~MadiMalfoy x

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Review #3, by MadiMalfoyCharlie the Dragon Hunter: Crikey!

1st August 2014:
Surprise! :D I decided as my way of participating in Thank You WTM Day I would review some of your old stories!

Even though Charlie isn’t mentioned much in the books, I’m so glad I found this fic!! I love minor characters but have yet to find a good Charlie-centered one—until now! And Tonks! It’s great you put her in there as his classmate and still her usual self with brightly colored hair. :)

The Dragon Hunter! What a laugh! This silly magical representation of Steve Irwin is amazing and really is a tribute to his memory as the Crocodile Hunter. The parallels are flawless and you couldn’t have done it any better! I think that Charlie typically gets overlooked most of the time in a lot of fan fictions, but he’s an important part of the Weasley clan too, just like Fred and Ron and Ginny and the rest! Really though, your talent amazes and inspires me to improve greatly!

Thank you for being such a wonderful head of Ravenclaw house. :) ♥
~MadiMalfoy x

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Review #4, by MadiMalfoySomething to Live For: Interviewing a Foreigner

31st July 2014:
Well hello there! Welcome to HPFF! :)

Contrary to your opinion, this is actually quite intriguing right off the bat! You've introduced your OC to both Draco and George already and made her unforgettable to them both. She's quite the character, I do admit! An American, in England, in the early 2000s? *Astonishing!* :P I think the fact you made her American gives you great opportunities to use language barriers as fun situations (i.e. "biscuits" meaning two different things) for Rosalind and Draco/George.

With your descriptions, here's my biggest tip: if it's not working, then just scrap it and start over. Also, try to describe something without actually using that word in it. For example: "Brisk autumn air tangled in her hair, the cobblestones uneven beneath her feet; meandering down the alley, a bright violet building piqued her interest." I hope that helps! My final tip is to use more contractions; it makes things more casual and relaxed-sounding.

As a whole, though, this was a great opening chapter! I can't wait to see how you develop it further! Please come back anytime you'd like. :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hi there! :)

That's a relief, I felt like my pace was a little too fast haha. I decided to add a prologue that's still waiting to be validated and I tried to add a lot more description. I really like your tip and think that will help me a lot, I tend to use too many adjectives and come off as repetitive. So I will definitely keep that in mind :) I also plan on using small language barriers and there's a lot of action coming soon! Thank you so much for your kind review I'll make sure to come back again :)


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Review #5, by MadiMalfoySacrifices: Of Beginnings, Aurors, and Torn Photographs

31st July 2014:
Hi there! Here with your requested review :)

Since you didn't have complete specifics, I'll just kind of hit everything!

I'll start off with characterization! Obviously, I can't exactly nitpick with your OCs but I will say I do like them so far! And I love that all of their names start with A; it's cute! You've really got Harry and Dean down well; I think that even though they are Aurors, they still have that need to make sure everyone is okay and safe, and you showed that in them being assigned to the Schrechovitz siblings and really caring about them. I'm excited to meet Dean's son Vincent, as he seems like a love interest for AJ, or at least her best friend or something of the sort! Great characters so far in general!

As far as plot goes, I think you've got a great setup already! Although we don't exactly know why their parents are gone (and/or dead?) you hint at their mother's issues a little bit and there is some obvious dislike towards their father. I feel like you are wanting to create tension and build to a reveal of why the kids are living without their parents. Really, even though there isn't technically a lot going on in this chapter, you've really fleshed out your characters well enough to develop a plot through their interactions with Harry and Dean and each other. The only little detail that bugged me was what the youngest, Adam, would do when the other four went to Hogwarts. I mean, that's more back-story detail than anything, but if it becomes relevant in later chapters, I'd say touch on it briefly simply because the four younger ones COULD get taken away at any moment, so why wouldn't Adam have been taken while the other four were away at school?

Overall, a great opening chapter with lots of good description! Feel free to re-request whenever you like! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: MadiMalfoy!

Thanks for the great feedback on my characters! I was afraid they were confusing--some people found them that way, but i'm glad you didn't :) And we'll just have to see about Vinny ;)

I do want to fill the readers with suspense. I won't actually tell the whole story for a while, but some people I'm sure will piece it together!

And I fixed this for the update I'm about to submit into the queue about Adam's situation: the 'incident' that left them by themselves, had just happened over that past summer. AJ was already seventeen, and therefore capable of taking them all in. So there had not been school yet, therefore there was no need to take Adam away. But now, they're all in school, so no worries about Adam.

I'll definitely be back. Thanks for a wonderful response! :)

-Leigh xxx


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Review #6, by MadiMalfoyTrixangela Snape: Year 1: Chapter 1: All Aboard the Hogwarts Express

31st July 2014:
Hi again! :)

Aw, Trixi on her first trip on the Hogwarts Express! So cute. :)

You were mainly concerned about the plot so I'll touch on that first. It's very straightforward but works well because that's how Severus himself is and sort of how Trixi is also. The only thing I would say that would improve it is to add more description of the scene to balance out the large amounts of dialogue you have. Just describe the train in greater detail or what Draco looks like, or Platform 9 3/4. That makes it less difficult to try and remember everything that's being said because describing things still helps to move plot along but also assists in setting the tone of the current scene. Other than that though, I really enjoyed how you had Trixi just forging along and talking to Luna and Ginny! She doesn't yet understand the whole prejudice thing because Snape has sheltered her from most everything.

Just two small CCs I have for you; I do believe Harry is only 13 years old in POA, so he should be 13 here too, as he's one of the youngest in his class. Also, with the dialogue, it's very formal and stiff-sounding because the characters aren't using contractions like "I'm" or "You're" and instead use the full "I am" or "You are". This makes Trixi's lines age her more than her 11 years. They're all just 11, 12, or 13 years old; they don't use sophisticated language very often yet. And just for fun, I suggest putting in a line for Draco of "My father will hear about this!" after Harry Potter faints 'cause you know it's a great line and place to say it. :P

Great chapter, come back anytime! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Thanks for your excellent advice! I have been told I have quite a lot of dialog, and I have been fixing that (you should love Chapter 6 when it's validated) only thing I noticed is now my chapters are 5-6k words! 0.0 takes a lot time to get that beta-ed and validated.

And yes, I did notice the "stiff" speech myself, I have changed that up in the later chapters, and in the future, I will go through and fix my current ones. There are still a few characters that will have that though. Namely, Franilda Wildnox who is a stiff girl to begin with.



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Review #7, by MadiMalfoyMaternity Woes: Changing World

30th July 2014:
Hello there! MadiMalfoy here with your requested review from a couple weeks ago! :)

First of all, congrats Hannah and Neville!! :) I haven't read much of them (considering I ship Nuna, but even so) but minor characters make me happy so this is great! You were really worried about how the 99% dialogue works with this piece, but you needn't have been! Only having the one line of dialogue allows for greater character exploration within Neville's mind and how the current situation affects his thought process and what he reflects on.

I was so gunning for him to just slam the doors open and go straight to Hannah like the BAMF he is, but you not allowing that to happen just heightens the sense of urgency he feels. Even though he's worried something catastrophic could happen whenever he's around the baby, I think he ultimately knows deep down he'll be just fine and his instincts will guide him. You've got his characterization down to a tee, so kudos to you for writing Neville perfectly!! I loved the little snippets with Harry, and Ron, and Mr. Abbott also--it highlights how Neville thinks of his friends still in rather school-age terms but that's just because he's not necessarily ready to change how everything is yet. But of course babies just have to do their own thing and be all *demanding*...

As a whole, I truly enjoyed this piece! The description was perfect, and the single line of dialogue epitomized all of the feelings Neville was having. Fantastic job, come back anytime! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

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Review #8, by MadiMalfoyRose-Coloured Glasses: Real beaches have sand

21st July 2014:
Hi! MadiMalfoy here with your requested review! :)

Well, isn't this just intriguing? :D I love your addition to the Fleur/Bill clan, Jeanette! She's a great new dynamic piece on the playing field inside of all of the canon stuff, so great job! Wonderful characterization of Victoire and Dominique too, I really enjoyed their characters!

Oh Teddy Lupin, you little scamp! Obviously he's marrying Victoire, but he doesn't mind a little peek at her half-Veela sister, does he? Such a naughty boy! I think you have a great relationship developing so far already with him and Jean, considering he did see her naked for a solid five minutes. The fact she just goes swimming naked all the time makes me laugh because that's such a no-no if you're not in France!

Really, I think you've got a great story lined up just with this opening chapter! Will Teddy continue talking to Jean more than he should? Will Victoire find out what happened at the beach? WILL THE WEDDING STILL BE ON?? In essence, you've hooked me, now reel me in! You're welcome to re-request anytime. :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hi there!!

Aaaahhh, you're so kind! Thank you for this lovely review :3 I'm so glad you like Jean and Teddy and that you're intrigued with their relationship potential :P I had heaps of fun writing the naked scene, and I'm glad you see it in a humourous light, because a lot of people haven't hahaha.

Thanks again for this review, it totally made me smile :D I will certainly be re-requesting another for the next chapter :P

Cheers,
Jo xo


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Review #9, by MadiMalfoyTraitorous Hearts: A Changing Tide

20th July 2014:
Well well well, some things really did happen, didn't they!?

This was quite the chapter, I must say. It was on the long end, but it was necessary I think to have everything in there that you did. Who knew Draco Malfoy had a good heart? *scoffs* And Astoria! Ugh, have I told you how much I love her characterization?! She's so strong and determined not to go down without a fight! Because you have her almost saying Voldemort's name three times, that alone conveys just how unafraid she is of him, something which Draco supports with his statements.

And their little dynamic is so great in the middle! When Astoria has dropped all fronts and is just begging Draco, showing how desperate she really is, and she picks up on his scent, that just makes me want more! Keeping them a few inches apart and then separating them instantly because of a visitor is so frustrating! Draco being unable to comprehend why he says she's innocent foreshadows something for the future!

I'm so excited to find out what happens next!! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hey there!

Well, some things really DID, I suppose! ;)

I know it was a little long--I was worried about that--but I'm very glad that you agree that it was necessary. I couldn't find any good place to cut it that wouldn't ruin all that built up tension.

I see your scoff and I raise you a doubtful snort ;) Haha. I, too, wouldn't really trust the idea of Draco's "good heart" at this juncture. He's done a good thing, but *he* doesn't even know his reasons yet, and we can only guess. I agree that saying Draco has a good heart doesn't sound quite right. It would be premature, and would gloss over too much. I *would* say that I think he is capable of good, but has been deeply entrenched in cowardice for a long time. This, at least, was a non-cowardly act. It's growth, but the poor dear has a rather long way to go before I'll be calling him a paragon of any sort.

:D I am beaming! There is no other word to describe it. I always appreciate some Astoria love! She's like my child--my lying, mistrustful baby. Thank you so much. I am so, so happy to hear that you like her :D

Astoria is definitely brave--much braver than she realizes. And she's defiant. I think that Astoria has a little better handle than a lot of people on the fact that Voldemort is, ultimately, a person. He's a horrible, powerful person, but still ultimately a man. But also, she's a Pureblood. She knows a lot of Death Eater families and has known them all her life. For her, the Death Eaters aren't this distant, malevolent force, nor is Voldemort. As she says, she would be terrified if she actually had to face him. But, as Draco points out, she still wouldn't just curl up into a heap and wait to die. And, being that kind of person, I don't think she'd put much stock in the whole avoiding-the-name taboo. She wouldn't find it sensible.

Heehee! Thank you. I am SO glad that you liked it. That part took a lot of tweaking, but I was happy with the way it turned out.

Muahahahaha. Sorry. But never fear, there *will* certainly be something in the future. All sorts of character growth and plot twists and--possibly--romance, ahead ;)

Thank you so, so much for the review! I really appreciate your thoughts, and I'll be sure to re-request when I see an opening!

--Penny


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Review #10, by MadiMalfoyTrixangela Snape: Year 1: The Prologue

14th July 2014:
Hi there! Sorry about the ridiculous wait on this, you probably forgot about requesting this!

Since you only wanted me to focus on plot, I'll go in depth with it! First off, what a different take on Voldemort's attack on the Potters! And Harry getting his wand and bringing Lily back! I think it is really mysterious and adds a sense of foreboding to the story because Albus and Snape can't figure out what it is that Harry did. Snape offering his home for Lily & Harry is very touching! Lily and Snape having a daughter (and being together in general) is not something I ship, but you make her bring out the good in him, so thank you for that!

Perfect characterization of both of them I think! Lily is so kind, loving, and caring, so she takes care of the kids and gives them all the love she can. Severus is the awkward, rather indifferent father figure and is sort of helpless with the children. It's very in-character for him to not want Harry once Lily is gone because he reminds him all too much of her and the whole situation they went through. Poor Harry though! Thank goodness for Dumbledore! I'm glad you gave Snape a scene with his daughter crying, it really shows he actually does love his daughter, he's just not the best with feelings or how to deal with a crying baby. The house elf Riffer is so cute!

Great opening chapter so far, I think you've got quite the story set up here! :) Feel free to re-request if you'd like!
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Thanks for your review, I don't mind the long wait, I know people get busy! :)

Snape actually lightens up a bit with Harry (in chapters that look back during Snape/Lily time together, but due to the lost of his love, it's inevitable for him to just hate the boy). There will be touching moments with Snape when Lily is around (as you have mentioned). Snape can be caring when he's not hauled up in sorrow, regret, and self-pity.

The next chapter I update for this story will go back in the past. I am really looking forward to it's posting.


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Review #11, by MadiMalfoyDon't Mean a Thing: Not the One to Stay Around

10th July 2014:
Hey I'm here with your review from a few weeks ago! Sorry for the huge delay, I went on vacation for a week with no wifi and then was workin ga lot and had a bit of a binge writing session so reviewing kinda went down the drain haha. :)

Anyway, this is a great piece! I must say, this is my first ever Sirius/Lily fic! I've seen it getting more popular but never had the chance to read it until now! So thank you for that! :)

As far as characterizations go, I think you have a very believable Sirius and Lily. Sirius is all dark, brooding, hotness who really does care about his friends. And Lily! Lily, whose had her heart broken so many times, who can't seem to shake Potter, who caves into Sirius because he supposedly understands her feelings. Flawless to both of them!

The flow is very nice and smooth! I think the end could've been drawn out just a teny bit more, but that's just my personal opinion. It's very like Sirius to just drop things and leave so that's totally characteristic. Great job on this one-shot, I just might have to look into some more Sirius/Lily! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hi!!

Thanks so much for the helpful review! I hope your vacation was wonderful!!!

This was the very first Sirius/Lily piece I've written which is why I wanted extra feedback on it.

It means so much to me that Sirius and lily felt genuine! Sirius felt very close to canon here but I wasn't sure if I took Lily too far - but it doesn't sound like I did!

Yeah, I did write this in a rush so I could have stopped and slowed down a few sections. It was one of those "ah, i have this idea and have to get it out" and then posted right away. I'm so glad you liked this and that you're interested in more Sirius/Lily (Sily?!). You should read A Cold Heaven by forsakenphoneix - it's great.

anyway, thank you so much for a wonderful review!!
-Rose


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Review #12, by MadiMalfoyHow to Become Minister of Magic: A Guide: Whispers

10th July 2014:
Hi! Here with your review from a few weeks ago! :)

Ah yes, Louis Weasley, lawyer extraordinare and hottie to boot. I enjoyed this chapter, as you were able to develop Laney and Louis as characters and in relation to each other as they worked together every day. It flows very well, especially through the scene changes from the office to the courtroom and then the time jump. I laughed at Mr. Garvey's character--such a typical politician!

The only CC I have for you is at the very end, the language gets sort of confusing less descriptive. I think if you use a term other than the big F it would still have enough surprise and shock factor but be a little more appropriate for the story. So far you haven't really used much vulgar language so that seems out of place. Other than that little thing though, this chapter was fabulous!

You can re-request at any time. :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hello! Ah, yes, Louis. He sure is something isn't he? I'm glad you are liking the relationship between them, its good to know that they work together :P Haha! Yes, Mr. Garvey is definitely your stereotypical politician. Ok, I'll look back through the ending and see if I can make things more clear. And I understand what you are saying but I just like it because it is really the only word that describes that act taken with no emotion behind it whatsoever and that is what it was. It was *insert f word here*, not having sex. Sex implies more, or at least to me it does :P Thanks again!

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Review #13, by MadiMalfoyA Chronicle of Wasted Time: Vindication

9th July 2014:
No! Not Jeremiah's portrait! :(( How dare you take my heart and rip it to shreds! I loved your integration of the muggle world and magical world outside of Hogwarts; it flowed seamlessly with the Fat Lady's life inside the safety of the castle.

Professor Dumbledore's kindness is spot-on with his canonical characterization! Offering the Fat Lady the post of Gryffindor House's entrance portrait illustrates this trait seen so often in him throughout the books. It's so sweet how you wrote her as remembering her husband so much and doing things the way she thinks he would to keep his memory alive. But oh, Tom Riddle, you sneaky little turd! The Fat Lady handled the different situations thrown at her very well and only regretted not giving out her words of wisdom; but thank you for having them in there as sort of a pick-me-up from the sadness of the story so far.

Wonderful wonderful story, I'm glad you continue to write beautiful things such as this! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hi again! :)

Aw, I'm sorry!! I felt quite bad about Jeremiah but it was the right choice for the story even if quite cruel. Writing the magical world and history was one of my favourite parts of this story so I'm so glad you liked it!

Aw, good, I'm glad you liked Dumbledore. I imagined him noticing the people who usually don't get much attention and giving them a second chance and an important position, like with Hagrid.

Tom Riddle is so sneaky! I'm glad you liked this story, thanks so much for the really lovely reviews - I really appreciate it! :)


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Review #14, by MadiMalfoyA Chronicle of Wasted Time: Sensation

9th July 2014:
Hi again! :)

Well, isn't this just the coolest story ever!! A multi-chaptered piece about the portrait of the Fat Lady and her existence?! It almost seems too good to be true! (So naturally I favorited it to make sure I remembered it).

Your portrayal of the way magical portraits come to life awed me and was truly quite elegant. You have a way of using words and turning them into the exact kind of descriptors the scene needed. All of your literature references made me smile--I like when the author adds a personal touch as part of the story! :)

I shall continue reading :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hello there! :)

Aw, thank you!! I had so much fun writing this - it's one of my favourite stories I've posted up here - so I'm so pleased you liked it.

Wow, thanks so much! Your comments about my writing style really is so lovely, and I'm honoured you liked the descriptions. I wrote this right after writing a couple English exams so those literary references were a little inevitable.

Thanks so much for another great review and for choosing this story to review! :)


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Review #15, by MadiMalfoyCollateral : Collateral

9th July 2014:
Hey there!:)

You have a tendency to write the dark and tragic, don't you? :P Don't worry, I thoroughly enjoy the dark and tragic! And, a bonus is that it's quite the obscure character, so yay!

As you mentioned, you did try a new form of storytelling, and I really liked it! It gave the story more depth without overdoing it obviously. Keeping the names out of it mostly made it easier for the reader to become each of the characters as it switched between points of view with each scene.

Rather than a fragmented and shallow description we get of the Death Eaters invading the Quidditch World Cup, you really expanded on the preceding events and how it felt to be the muggle sacrifices. The whole idea of linking the muggle family through Clover with the Dursleys through Dudley made me smile! Finally he's thinking for himself and realizing he was not living a healthy lifestyle and got himself fit instead. Good job on his characterization, I really loved it!

Overall, a great one-shot, and I'll continue reading some of your stories! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hello! :)

Hehe, I do enjoy the dark and tragic! I had a lot of fun experimenting with this story so I'm very pleased you liked it and it helped you connect to the characters.

Yes, the Roberts were such a small part of the books but once I remembered about them I couldn't help but write about them. I'm glad you liked Dudley as well, I thought perhaps he seemed a little too nice but he was fun to write for sure.

Thanks so much for the lovely review! :)


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Review #16, by MadiMalfoyHero: Hero

8th July 2014:
Hey there! Here's one of your reviews for your Merlin challenge prizes! :)

I chose to review this piece (and favorite it) because your single-sentence summary intrigued me instantly! Such a heartbreaking one-shot, though it was written very, very well; a truly beautiful piece.

Your way of describing the dementia is unique in that you didn't simply list the disease and what it did; you artfully portrayed it as something not to be taken lightly with family or in general, and that it takes great strength to deal with it as an immediate family member. I love the liberty you took with Lily II and who she married and had kids, it really works well with the plot as a whole. Poor Harry! I think it's really great you have not diminished him as a character, but really just shown how a disease can hit anyone at all, it doesn't care what that person's accomplished in life.

Great job, and I'll be around soon to finish up your review prizes! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hello! :)

I'm glad you liked the summary!! I wasn't really sure what to put there originally but ended up liking its simplicity. I'm so honoured that you liked this - thank you!!

I'm pleased you liked how the dementia was introduced: I really wanted to "show" what it is like to love somebody with the disease and how pain and joy alternate. This is really based on an interaction I had with my own grandfather, except for some reason it felt right to write it from my "mother's" POV - Lily's - and with Harry in the place of my grandmother. It's very true: dementia is the sort of thing which can affect anybody, and no family is ever truly ready for it.

Thanks so much for the truly lovely review, my dear!! :)


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Review #17, by MadiMalfoyWait: Gabrielle

8th July 2014:
WOW. Fleur centered fic about the triwizard tournament, and the second task? Well golly gee I didn't realize how much I wanted this until I read it! And written in second person POV! Emily, you amaze me with your range of writing skills!

Everything, from the French to the descriptions, are wonderful! Truly, truly amazing work with this piece! We don't really get much from Fleur's point of view, ever, in GoF so this was a really nice one-shot to give her some backstory and sort of flesh out her character a little more. The repetition of time passing helped give the story a more frenzied feel (when in the present) but wasn't too dominating over the plot. I loved the memories Fleur has of her and Gabrielle--so cute and sisterly and ugh it makes me love her more! Great job once again Emily! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

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Review #18, by MadiMalfoydarkness, rise: pretty silver butterflies

8th July 2014:
Hello hello! Here's your last review for your merlin challenge prizes! :)

Well, isn't that just some of the trippiest writing ever!! It's such a different way of writing a character that it is truly unique. You really have me guessing on who the women are! The mistress tip makes me lean towards Astoria Greengrass and Pansy Parkinson, Draco Malfoy's flames/wife canonically.

The Voice in Lily's head is so seamless I had to believe it really was just a voice in her head until the scene with the two women. Honestly, that is probably the most chilling part about the whole piece--we as readers don't know the full story as to why they chose Lily or why she even has a voice in her head in the first place. The fact it drove her to suicide speaks wonders for those dealing with issues like Lily has here (although obviously of a non-magical occurence) and how difficult it can be on a day-to-day basis to continue being strong and put on a brave face. You really captured that well, especially with the library scene. Just well done, all around!
~MadiMalfoy x

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Review #19, by MadiMalfoyTo Endure: the Blast

25th June 2014:
Well that really was quite the cliffhanger! I often find myself wanting to use one but then I realize I can't use one every chapter so I force myself to just keep writing instead. :P

I like how the GROWN men are so childish and beg the CHILD to make them food! It makes for quite the amusing scene because no one wants to make food but everyone is hungry, much like teenagers are all the time. It's no great secret that George would probably break something if he had to do it the muggle way, so that's a nice little touch you put in there with the tent poles.

A fabulous start to what I'm sure will be a wonderfully mysterious and dark story! I can't wait to read more later on! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

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Review #20, by MadiMalfoyTo Endure: Uncle Charlie

24th June 2014:
Hi there! :)

Well golly gee do I love me a good next-gen obscure character fic! There's very little out there centering around Roxanne Weasley, so shoutout to you for writing something!

Oh Winston Purrchill is a cute cat and I love his stubbornness with all of his actions! Pets really can make a difference in how people act and I feel like he influences many things in George & Angelina's household. ;)

And CHARLIE WEASLEY! I think I've only read one other fic where he played a larger role other than just the distant Weasley brother who trains dragons. So yay! I'm excited to see where you go with him, especially during the camping trip. With George's characterization, you nailed it. His eyes "always slightly shadowed" concisely describes how George is still grieving over Fred's death, even around 20 years later because he was his other half, etc. But he's also been able to move on with his life and whatnot.

Your author's note has me wondering about a lot of things in the next chapter! On I go! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

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Review #21, by MadiMalfoyStorm: I'm Not An Angel

21st June 2014:
Wow. Just wow. Emily, you never cease to amaze me with your writing skills! I always love your stories and how you're able to put a different twist on usually glossed-over characteristics of the characters.

You've done a fabulous job of characterizing all of the Fleur/Bill clan! The once close, now somewhat strained relationship Dominique and Victoire have is really quite realistic even without the magical elements. I'm glad you didn't have her end up with Teddy--that's a little cliche and wouldn't fit right with the tone of the story.

Your OC muggle Jack! He's so kindhearted and trusting and caring and I wish I had a guy like that!! His blind trust in Victoire to tell him her major secret (magic) in her own time speaks volumes for his character. However, Victoire's distrust in her own self ultimately leads to her decision to leave him for his own safety, and I think that displays just how much she is afraid of her power and that she still has trouble controlling it after so many years.

So really REALLY well done with this, I can't wait to see just how amazing your others are! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

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Review #22, by MadiMalfoyBecause of James Potter: Because of James Potter

20th June 2014:
Hiya! :) Here's your review from the Merlin challenge prize!

Let me first say that I'm not a shipper of Snape/Lily but you wrote it well enough that it doesn't try and force Snape/Lily onto the reader. I LOVED the second person POV--it's really different and I'm glad that there was a challenge that focused on this point of view because it's so underused!

Anwyho, I actually quite liked the plot; it's so cute! Sev being a cute nervous 15-year-old asking the girl he's had a crush on forever out on a date and her actually agreeing to go with him. A lot of times people write them as so much older than they really are. James being all immature is spot-on! I definitely really enjoyed this unconventional one-shot because it shows how Snape realized that Lily didn't love him like he loved her and that she was in love with James Potter and would always be. Great job, I liked it a lot!! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hi there! Thank you :)

I loved the second person POV challenge. It's quite hard to write sometimes but this challenge made me want to write it more.

Thank you! In my headcanon, this is really the point where Sev turns completely to the Dark Arts - and as we know, later on in the year Sev does something he regrets very much.

Thanks for reviewing!

-Karou


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Review #23, by MadiMalfoyGetting Out of the Cold: Chapter One

13th June 2014:
Hey, MadiMalfoy here with your requested review from a few weeks ago! :)

Well, let me just say: wow. This was a phenomenal opening chapter. Your descriptions are so concise yet illustrative it fits the relationship Amelia has with her parents. I was immediately drawn in by how you described Amelia's feelings towards being called downstairs. I don't even know what to say about it all because it's all so great! So rather than leave you with a very incoherent, rambling mess of a review, I'll sum up my thoughts as best I can. :P

Essentially, your main concerns were level of interest and creating a dark atmosphere. This opening chapter is very interesting in that we get to see how the family members all act in relation to one another but we aren't told why it is that way, except for the children already at Hogwarts (i.e. Amelia's explanation of why their sorting was the correct placement for them). The mystery of the parents' cold indifference towards their children and lives in general creates the mysterious air, although it's not really "dark" yet simply because nothing bad or scary has happened yet--you're just setting up for that to happen.

So to answer your areas of concern, you have a fantastic start and it definitely gives a different perspective on life. Please re-request at your conveniece! I'd love to continue reading this. :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Thank you for your review!
I'm glad you found my descriptions, as you put it, "concise yet illustrative." I'm trying to work on my descriptive writing, so I'm happy you feel that way.
I think you also made a good point about how it's not really "dark" because nothing bad has happened yet.You helped me to realize that is was more of a mysterious atmosphere I was trying to do, so I could provide a set up for something dark that may happen.
Thank you for reading and reviewing!


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Review #24, by MadiMalfoyQuelques ans après-A few years later: La surprise de famille

13th June 2014:
Hi there! Here with your requested review! :)

Your main concerns were characterization, flow, and descriptions, so I'll go in that order!

Now, since Dramione is obviously OOC, you have to work around that while maintaining the characters how you want them to be. Harry & Ginny are perfect, if only the dialogue a little awkward, but that's totally okay since English is not your first language it seems like. Ron and Lavender together are cute and very much like they are canonically. The Weasley clan in general are well-written and the memories Harry and Ron are experiencing about Hermione and their Hogwarts years flow very well with how the plot is moving along.

The only real CC I have for you is to elaborate a little bit more on your descriptions; a few places are a bit lacking in setting detail or just what someone is wearing that could expand the reader's visualization of the story. Other than that, you have decent descriptions and a really great cliffhanger (great plot device!) with Hermione's letter and present!

Feel free to re-request at your convenience for future chapters! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hi!

Thanks for the helpful review!

You're right about English not being my first language, so I'm trying to be as authentic as I can when I'm writing... I love Harry/Ginny and the Weasleys in general so I'm glad you think they sounded good enough.

Ah...descriptions. I've been working on them for quite some time now and I hope I get better as I go on. Thanks for reminding me again!

Thanks again for the review!
Kinnu


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Review #25, by MadiMalfoyActions Speak Louder than Words: Broken: Rose POV

13th June 2014:
Hi there! MadiMalfoy here with your requested review :)

Yay for next-gen fics! And yay for not all happy-go-lucky-fics! Mystery and angst are my favorite types of story to read (which probably should suggest something about my character but I'm a good person I swear) and you've really got me hooked immediately!

Starting it off with the day's itinerary expressed in such simple terms lets the reader know immediately that something is off about what should be a normal day. It prepares us for information on what happened in the past to make her react this way to waking up every day. Your descriptions are so eloquent without being too presumptuous and exaggerated. That's very hard to do, but you've captured how Rose is feeling perfectly! Her daily struggle just to get out of bed and fight through the panic attacks exhibit her strength since that awful kidnapping.

The background information all the way from being sorted helped lighten the mood and explain your OC Selenia somewhat and how the friendships formed differently than usually depicted in fics.

Overall you've set them up for a great dynamic and I'm excited to see where you go with it! Don't be afraid of just plunging in and digging deep into the characters--this is your fic and you have all the creative liberties in the world to do as you please! So yeah, definitely come back for the next chapter, I really want to see how you do this! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hello!

Wow! Thank you so much for this great review! I was very concerned that it did not come across as realistic about Rose's panic attack and general anxiety, but you have put my fears to rest.

I was also concerned that fitting in the background information was awkward within the context of the panic attack. Thanks again for the vote of confidence.

I really do enjoy writing some humor here and there and there is always the worry that it doesn't fit with the story, or worse yet... *covers eyes* isn't funny!

Thanks again, and I will definitely re-request. I can't wait to hear what you think about the next chapter!


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