Reading Reviews From Member: MadiMalfoy
  
438 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MadiMalfoyRose-Coloured Glasses: Real beaches have sand

21st July 2014:
Hi! MadiMalfoy here with your requested review! :)

Well, isn't this just intriguing? :D I love your addition to the Fleur/Bill clan, Jeanette! She's a great new dynamic piece on the playing field inside of all of the canon stuff, so great job! Wonderful characterization of Victoire and Dominique too, I really enjoyed their characters!

Oh Teddy Lupin, you little scamp! Obviously he's marrying Victoire, but he doesn't mind a little peek at her half-Veela sister, does he? Such a naughty boy! I think you have a great relationship developing so far already with him and Jean, considering he did see her naked for a solid five minutes. The fact she just goes swimming naked all the time makes me laugh because that's such a no-no if you're not in France!

Really, I think you've got a great story lined up just with this opening chapter! Will Teddy continue talking to Jean more than he should? Will Victoire find out what happened at the beach? WILL THE WEDDING STILL BE ON?? In essence, you've hooked me, now reel me in! You're welcome to re-request anytime. :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hi there!!

Aaaahhh, you're so kind! Thank you for this lovely review :3 I'm so glad you like Jean and Teddy and that you're intrigued with their relationship potential :P I had heaps of fun writing the naked scene, and I'm glad you see it in a humourous light, because a lot of people haven't hahaha.

Thanks again for this review, it totally made me smile :D I will certainly be re-requesting another for the next chapter :P

Cheers,
Jo xo


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Review #2, by MadiMalfoyTraitorous Hearts: A Changing Tide

20th July 2014:
Well well well, some things really did happen, didn't they!?

This was quite the chapter, I must say. It was on the long end, but it was necessary I think to have everything in there that you did. Who knew Draco Malfoy had a good heart? *scoffs* And Astoria! Ugh, have I told you how much I love her characterization?! She's so strong and determined not to go down without a fight! Because you have her almost saying Voldemort's name three times, that alone conveys just how unafraid she is of him, something which Draco supports with his statements.

And their little dynamic is so great in the middle! When Astoria has dropped all fronts and is just begging Draco, showing how desperate she really is, and she picks up on his scent, that just makes me want more! Keeping them a few inches apart and then separating them instantly because of a visitor is so frustrating! Draco being unable to comprehend why he says she's innocent foreshadows something for the future!

I'm so excited to find out what happens next!! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hey there!

Well, some things really DID, I suppose! ;)

I know it was a little long--I was worried about that--but I'm very glad that you agree that it was necessary. I couldn't find any good place to cut it that wouldn't ruin all that built up tension.

I see your scoff and I raise you a doubtful snort ;) Haha. I, too, wouldn't really trust the idea of Draco's "good heart" at this juncture. He's done a good thing, but *he* doesn't even know his reasons yet, and we can only guess. I agree that saying Draco has a good heart doesn't sound quite right. It would be premature, and would gloss over too much. I *would* say that I think he is capable of good, but has been deeply entrenched in cowardice for a long time. This, at least, was a non-cowardly act. It's growth, but the poor dear has a rather long way to go before I'll be calling him a paragon of any sort.

:D I am beaming! There is no other word to describe it. I always appreciate some Astoria love! She's like my child--my lying, mistrustful baby. Thank you so much. I am so, so happy to hear that you like her :D

Astoria is definitely brave--much braver than she realizes. And she's defiant. I think that Astoria has a little better handle than a lot of people on the fact that Voldemort is, ultimately, a person. He's a horrible, powerful person, but still ultimately a man. But also, she's a Pureblood. She knows a lot of Death Eater families and has known them all her life. For her, the Death Eaters aren't this distant, malevolent force, nor is Voldemort. As she says, she would be terrified if she actually had to face him. But, as Draco points out, she still wouldn't just curl up into a heap and wait to die. And, being that kind of person, I don't think she'd put much stock in the whole avoiding-the-name taboo. She wouldn't find it sensible.

Heehee! Thank you. I am SO glad that you liked it. That part took a lot of tweaking, but I was happy with the way it turned out.

Muahahahaha. Sorry. But never fear, there *will* certainly be something in the future. All sorts of character growth and plot twists and--possibly--romance, ahead ;)

Thank you so, so much for the review! I really appreciate your thoughts, and I'll be sure to re-request when I see an opening!

--Penny


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Review #3, by MadiMalfoyTrixangela Snape: Year 1: The Prologue

14th July 2014:
Hi there! Sorry about the ridiculous wait on this, you probably forgot about requesting this!

Since you only wanted me to focus on plot, I'll go in depth with it! First off, what a different take on Voldemort's attack on the Potters! And Harry getting his wand and bringing Lily back! I think it is really mysterious and adds a sense of foreboding to the story because Albus and Snape can't figure out what it is that Harry did. Snape offering his home for Lily & Harry is very touching! Lily and Snape having a daughter (and being together in general) is not something I ship, but you make her bring out the good in him, so thank you for that!

Perfect characterization of both of them I think! Lily is so kind, loving, and caring, so she takes care of the kids and gives them all the love she can. Severus is the awkward, rather indifferent father figure and is sort of helpless with the children. It's very in-character for him to not want Harry once Lily is gone because he reminds him all too much of her and the whole situation they went through. Poor Harry though! Thank goodness for Dumbledore! I'm glad you gave Snape a scene with his daughter crying, it really shows he actually does love his daughter, he's just not the best with feelings or how to deal with a crying baby. The house elf Riffer is so cute!

Great opening chapter so far, I think you've got quite the story set up here! :) Feel free to re-request if you'd like!
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Thanks for your review, I don't mind the long wait, I know people get busy! :)

Snape actually lightens up a bit with Harry (in chapters that look back during Snape/Lily time together, but due to the lost of his love, it's inevitable for him to just hate the boy). There will be touching moments with Snape when Lily is around (as you have mentioned). Snape can be caring when he's not hauled up in sorrow, regret, and self-pity.

The next chapter I update for this story will go back in the past. I am really looking forward to it's posting.


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Review #4, by MadiMalfoyDon't Mean a Thing: Not the One to Stay Around

10th July 2014:
Hey I'm here with your review from a few weeks ago! Sorry for the huge delay, I went on vacation for a week with no wifi and then was workin ga lot and had a bit of a binge writing session so reviewing kinda went down the drain haha. :)

Anyway, this is a great piece! I must say, this is my first ever Sirius/Lily fic! I've seen it getting more popular but never had the chance to read it until now! So thank you for that! :)

As far as characterizations go, I think you have a very believable Sirius and Lily. Sirius is all dark, brooding, hotness who really does care about his friends. And Lily! Lily, whose had her heart broken so many times, who can't seem to shake Potter, who caves into Sirius because he supposedly understands her feelings. Flawless to both of them!

The flow is very nice and smooth! I think the end could've been drawn out just a teny bit more, but that's just my personal opinion. It's very like Sirius to just drop things and leave so that's totally characteristic. Great job on this one-shot, I just might have to look into some more Sirius/Lily! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

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Review #5, by MadiMalfoyHow to Become Minister of Magic: A Guide: Whispers

10th July 2014:
Hi! Here with your review from a few weeks ago! :)

Ah yes, Louis Weasley, lawyer extraordinare and hottie to boot. I enjoyed this chapter, as you were able to develop Laney and Louis as characters and in relation to each other as they worked together every day. It flows very well, especially through the scene changes from the office to the courtroom and then the time jump. I laughed at Mr. Garvey's character--such a typical politician!

The only CC I have for you is at the very end, the language gets sort of confusing less descriptive. I think if you use a term other than the big F it would still have enough surprise and shock factor but be a little more appropriate for the story. So far you haven't really used much vulgar language so that seems out of place. Other than that little thing though, this chapter was fabulous!

You can re-request at any time. :)
~MadiMalfoy x

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Review #6, by MadiMalfoyA Chronicle of Wasted Time: Vindication

9th July 2014:
No! Not Jeremiah's portrait! :(( How dare you take my heart and rip it to shreds! I loved your integration of the muggle world and magical world outside of Hogwarts; it flowed seamlessly with the Fat Lady's life inside the safety of the castle.

Professor Dumbledore's kindness is spot-on with his canonical characterization! Offering the Fat Lady the post of Gryffindor House's entrance portrait illustrates this trait seen so often in him throughout the books. It's so sweet how you wrote her as remembering her husband so much and doing things the way she thinks he would to keep his memory alive. But oh, Tom Riddle, you sneaky little turd! The Fat Lady handled the different situations thrown at her very well and only regretted not giving out her words of wisdom; but thank you for having them in there as sort of a pick-me-up from the sadness of the story so far.

Wonderful wonderful story, I'm glad you continue to write beautiful things such as this! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

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Review #7, by MadiMalfoyA Chronicle of Wasted Time: Sensation

9th July 2014:
Hi again! :)

Well, isn't this just the coolest story ever!! A multi-chaptered piece about the portrait of the Fat Lady and her existence?! It almost seems too good to be true! (So naturally I favorited it to make sure I remembered it).

Your portrayal of the way magical portraits come to life awed me and was truly quite elegant. You have a way of using words and turning them into the exact kind of descriptors the scene needed. All of your literature references made me smile--I like when the author adds a personal touch as part of the story! :)

I shall continue reading :)
~MadiMalfoy x

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Review #8, by MadiMalfoyCollateral : Collateral

9th July 2014:
Hey there!:)

You have a tendency to write the dark and tragic, don't you? :P Don't worry, I thoroughly enjoy the dark and tragic! And, a bonus is that it's quite the obscure character, so yay!

As you mentioned, you did try a new form of storytelling, and I really liked it! It gave the story more depth without overdoing it obviously. Keeping the names out of it mostly made it easier for the reader to become each of the characters as it switched between points of view with each scene.

Rather than a fragmented and shallow description we get of the Death Eaters invading the Quidditch World Cup, you really expanded on the preceding events and how it felt to be the muggle sacrifices. The whole idea of linking the muggle family through Clover with the Dursleys through Dudley made me smile! Finally he's thinking for himself and realizing he was not living a healthy lifestyle and got himself fit instead. Good job on his characterization, I really loved it!

Overall, a great one-shot, and I'll continue reading some of your stories! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

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Review #9, by MadiMalfoyHero: Hero

8th July 2014:
Hey there! Here's one of your reviews for your Merlin challenge prizes! :)

I chose to review this piece (and favorite it) because your single-sentence summary intrigued me instantly! Such a heartbreaking one-shot, though it was written very, very well; a truly beautiful piece.

Your way of describing the dementia is unique in that you didn't simply list the disease and what it did; you artfully portrayed it as something not to be taken lightly with family or in general, and that it takes great strength to deal with it as an immediate family member. I love the liberty you took with Lily II and who she married and had kids, it really works well with the plot as a whole. Poor Harry! I think it's really great you have not diminished him as a character, but really just shown how a disease can hit anyone at all, it doesn't care what that person's accomplished in life.

Great job, and I'll be around soon to finish up your review prizes! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

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Review #10, by MadiMalfoyWait: Gabrielle

8th July 2014:
WOW. Fleur centered fic about the triwizard tournament, and the second task? Well golly gee I didn't realize how much I wanted this until I read it! And written in second person POV! Emily, you amaze me with your range of writing skills!

Everything, from the French to the descriptions, are wonderful! Truly, truly amazing work with this piece! We don't really get much from Fleur's point of view, ever, in GoF so this was a really nice one-shot to give her some backstory and sort of flesh out her character a little more. The repetition of time passing helped give the story a more frenzied feel (when in the present) but wasn't too dominating over the plot. I loved the memories Fleur has of her and Gabrielle--so cute and sisterly and ugh it makes me love her more! Great job once again Emily! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

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Review #11, by MadiMalfoydarkness, rise: pretty silver butterflies

8th July 2014:
Hello hello! Here's your last review for your merlin challenge prizes! :)

Well, isn't that just some of the trippiest writing ever!! It's such a different way of writing a character that it is truly unique. You really have me guessing on who the women are! The mistress tip makes me lean towards Astoria Greengrass and Pansy Parkinson, Draco Malfoy's flames/wife canonically.

The Voice in Lily's head is so seamless I had to believe it really was just a voice in her head until the scene with the two women. Honestly, that is probably the most chilling part about the whole piece--we as readers don't know the full story as to why they chose Lily or why she even has a voice in her head in the first place. The fact it drove her to suicide speaks wonders for those dealing with issues like Lily has here (although obviously of a non-magical occurence) and how difficult it can be on a day-to-day basis to continue being strong and put on a brave face. You really captured that well, especially with the library scene. Just well done, all around!
~MadiMalfoy x

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Review #12, by MadiMalfoyTo Endure: the Blast

25th June 2014:
Well that really was quite the cliffhanger! I often find myself wanting to use one but then I realize I can't use one every chapter so I force myself to just keep writing instead. :P

I like how the GROWN men are so childish and beg the CHILD to make them food! It makes for quite the amusing scene because no one wants to make food but everyone is hungry, much like teenagers are all the time. It's no great secret that George would probably break something if he had to do it the muggle way, so that's a nice little touch you put in there with the tent poles.

A fabulous start to what I'm sure will be a wonderfully mysterious and dark story! I can't wait to read more later on! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

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Review #13, by MadiMalfoyTo Endure: Uncle Charlie

24th June 2014:
Hi there! :)

Well golly gee do I love me a good next-gen obscure character fic! There's very little out there centering around Roxanne Weasley, so shoutout to you for writing something!

Oh Winston Purrchill is a cute cat and I love his stubbornness with all of his actions! Pets really can make a difference in how people act and I feel like he influences many things in George & Angelina's household. ;)

And CHARLIE WEASLEY! I think I've only read one other fic where he played a larger role other than just the distant Weasley brother who trains dragons. So yay! I'm excited to see where you go with him, especially during the camping trip. With George's characterization, you nailed it. His eyes "always slightly shadowed" concisely describes how George is still grieving over Fred's death, even around 20 years later because he was his other half, etc. But he's also been able to move on with his life and whatnot.

Your author's note has me wondering about a lot of things in the next chapter! On I go! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

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Review #14, by MadiMalfoyStorm: I'm Not An Angel

21st June 2014:
Wow. Just wow. Emily, you never cease to amaze me with your writing skills! I always love your stories and how you're able to put a different twist on usually glossed-over characteristics of the characters.

You've done a fabulous job of characterizing all of the Fleur/Bill clan! The once close, now somewhat strained relationship Dominique and Victoire have is really quite realistic even without the magical elements. I'm glad you didn't have her end up with Teddy--that's a little cliche and wouldn't fit right with the tone of the story.

Your OC muggle Jack! He's so kindhearted and trusting and caring and I wish I had a guy like that!! His blind trust in Victoire to tell him her major secret (magic) in her own time speaks volumes for his character. However, Victoire's distrust in her own self ultimately leads to her decision to leave him for his own safety, and I think that displays just how much she is afraid of her power and that she still has trouble controlling it after so many years.

So really REALLY well done with this, I can't wait to see just how amazing your others are! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

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Review #15, by MadiMalfoyBecause of James Potter: Because of James Potter

20th June 2014:
Hiya! :) Here's your review from the Merlin challenge prize!

Let me first say that I'm not a shipper of Snape/Lily but you wrote it well enough that it doesn't try and force Snape/Lily onto the reader. I LOVED the second person POV--it's really different and I'm glad that there was a challenge that focused on this point of view because it's so underused!

Anwyho, I actually quite liked the plot; it's so cute! Sev being a cute nervous 15-year-old asking the girl he's had a crush on forever out on a date and her actually agreeing to go with him. A lot of times people write them as so much older than they really are. James being all immature is spot-on! I definitely really enjoyed this unconventional one-shot because it shows how Snape realized that Lily didn't love him like he loved her and that she was in love with James Potter and would always be. Great job, I liked it a lot!! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hi there! Thank you :)

I loved the second person POV challenge. It's quite hard to write sometimes but this challenge made me want to write it more.

Thank you! In my headcanon, this is really the point where Sev turns completely to the Dark Arts - and as we know, later on in the year Sev does something he regrets very much.

Thanks for reviewing!

-Karou


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Review #16, by MadiMalfoyGetting Out of the Cold: Chapter One

13th June 2014:
Hey, MadiMalfoy here with your requested review from a few weeks ago! :)

Well, let me just say: wow. This was a phenomenal opening chapter. Your descriptions are so concise yet illustrative it fits the relationship Amelia has with her parents. I was immediately drawn in by how you described Amelia's feelings towards being called downstairs. I don't even know what to say about it all because it's all so great! So rather than leave you with a very incoherent, rambling mess of a review, I'll sum up my thoughts as best I can. :P

Essentially, your main concerns were level of interest and creating a dark atmosphere. This opening chapter is very interesting in that we get to see how the family members all act in relation to one another but we aren't told why it is that way, except for the children already at Hogwarts (i.e. Amelia's explanation of why their sorting was the correct placement for them). The mystery of the parents' cold indifference towards their children and lives in general creates the mysterious air, although it's not really "dark" yet simply because nothing bad or scary has happened yet--you're just setting up for that to happen.

So to answer your areas of concern, you have a fantastic start and it definitely gives a different perspective on life. Please re-request at your conveniece! I'd love to continue reading this. :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Thank you for your review!
I'm glad you found my descriptions, as you put it, "concise yet illustrative." I'm trying to work on my descriptive writing, so I'm happy you feel that way.
I think you also made a good point about how it's not really "dark" because nothing bad has happened yet.You helped me to realize that is was more of a mysterious atmosphere I was trying to do, so I could provide a set up for something dark that may happen.
Thank you for reading and reviewing!


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Review #17, by MadiMalfoyQuelques ans après-A few years later: La surprise de famille

13th June 2014:
Hi there! Here with your requested review! :)

Your main concerns were characterization, flow, and descriptions, so I'll go in that order!

Now, since Dramione is obviously OOC, you have to work around that while maintaining the characters how you want them to be. Harry & Ginny are perfect, if only the dialogue a little awkward, but that's totally okay since English is not your first language it seems like. Ron and Lavender together are cute and very much like they are canonically. The Weasley clan in general are well-written and the memories Harry and Ron are experiencing about Hermione and their Hogwarts years flow very well with how the plot is moving along.

The only real CC I have for you is to elaborate a little bit more on your descriptions; a few places are a bit lacking in setting detail or just what someone is wearing that could expand the reader's visualization of the story. Other than that, you have decent descriptions and a really great cliffhanger (great plot device!) with Hermione's letter and present!

Feel free to re-request at your convenience for future chapters! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hi!

Thanks for the helpful review!

You're right about English not being my first language, so I'm trying to be as authentic as I can when I'm writing... I love Harry/Ginny and the Weasleys in general so I'm glad you think they sounded good enough.

Ah...descriptions. I've been working on them for quite some time now and I hope I get better as I go on. Thanks for reminding me again!

Thanks again for the review!
Kinnu


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Review #18, by MadiMalfoyActions Speak Louder than Words: Broken: Rose POV

13th June 2014:
Hi there! MadiMalfoy here with your requested review :)

Yay for next-gen fics! And yay for not all happy-go-lucky-fics! Mystery and angst are my favorite types of story to read (which probably should suggest something about my character but I'm a good person I swear) and you've really got me hooked immediately!

Starting it off with the day's itinerary expressed in such simple terms lets the reader know immediately that something is off about what should be a normal day. It prepares us for information on what happened in the past to make her react this way to waking up every day. Your descriptions are so eloquent without being too presumptuous and exaggerated. That's very hard to do, but you've captured how Rose is feeling perfectly! Her daily struggle just to get out of bed and fight through the panic attacks exhibit her strength since that awful kidnapping.

The background information all the way from being sorted helped lighten the mood and explain your OC Selenia somewhat and how the friendships formed differently than usually depicted in fics.

Overall you've set them up for a great dynamic and I'm excited to see where you go with it! Don't be afraid of just plunging in and digging deep into the characters--this is your fic and you have all the creative liberties in the world to do as you please! So yeah, definitely come back for the next chapter, I really want to see how you do this! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hello!

Wow! Thank you so much for this great review! I was very concerned that it did not come across as realistic about Rose's panic attack and general anxiety, but you have put my fears to rest.

I was also concerned that fitting in the background information was awkward within the context of the panic attack. Thanks again for the vote of confidence.

I really do enjoy writing some humor here and there and there is always the worry that it doesn't fit with the story, or worse yet... *covers eyes* isn't funny!

Thanks again, and I will definitely re-request. I can't wait to hear what you think about the next chapter!


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Review #19, by MadiMalfoyThe Barolmeschus Society: Three

4th June 2014:
Hi there! :) I'm here for the Merlin Challenge.

First of all, I'd like to thank you for entering into my challenge and putting the time and effort you did into it! It's greatly appreciated and doesn't go unnoticed. :)

Anywho, here's my actual review!

Well, Kilgarrah as a half-human, half-dragon certainly caught my attention! I was curious how you were going to work him in as a character and whether or not you were going to keep him in dragon form! Needless to say, you didn't disappoint! It's a really interesting take on him not only as a dragon but also as a person, so good job! I LOVE the sci-fi aspect with the whole demon thing--it's pretty neat and I lurve me some demons (you can thank Supernatural for that).

Speaking of, your OC Tekka is quite mysterious and obviously powerful enough to summon a demon. I'm curious to know what exactly she is and how she can do what she can do.

Now, you don't have the quote in here yet but I think I have a good idea of how you'll use it so don't worry; I won't hold that against you in judging all of the entries. Kilgarrah is great and I'm excited to see how you do in the challenge! I'll post results soon! Thanks again for entering! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hi there! Thank you for hosting the challenge, it was a lot of fun, especially getting Kilgarrah's character.

Thank you! I was also wondering how I would do it...I considered making up some caves below Hogwarts, but then I put the sci-fi in and got this half-human half-dragon boy.

Erin, who's judging the sci-fi part of it, said that about Supernatural as well. I think it's interesting that so many people (not including me!) watch that... I might have to take a look.

It's interesting how you've classed her as not entirely human...we shall see. All will be revealed...

No, I don't have the quote yet but IT IS COMING!! I PROMISE!! And Kilgarrah will use it, because it's a quote from Kilgarrah.

Thanks for the honourable mention! All the other entries are amazing, I'm so glad you picked me for that :)

Thanks!

Karou


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Review #20, by MadiMalfoyUnlucky Uther : Unlucky Uther

4th June 2014:
Hi there! :) I'm here for the Merlin Challenge!

Firstly, thank you so much for entering! It means a lot to me and I greatly appreciate the time and effort you put into this! :)

And now, onto the actual review!

Let me just say, hats off to you for attempting one of the harder crossovers and doing it well! When you told me you wanted Uther, I was very intrigued as to how you would incorporate a character such as he. You didn't disappoint! I loved all of the fandom references and how you threw in the modern age stuff like Percy Jackson and LOTR, etc. Just the way you described limbo between Heaven and downstairs was perfect for the tone of the story and the ridiculousness of it all was hilarious!

I really liked how you did the crossover--it's not too out there not to seem plausible, although having a picture of Uther in Hogwarts is somewhat peculiar. I loved how you characterized him (Sorcery!); ah just like in the show. You made a difficult character fit right in with the HP universe and so good job on that!

Overall, a fun, lighthearted and magical entry! I'm excited to see how you do in the challenge. :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hello! :)

Thank you for hosting the challenge! It was so fun, and gave me the chance to write a crazy crossover which I'd been thinking about in the back of my mind but would have never had the inspiration to write if it weren't for you. This was so fun to work on, so thanks!

Haha, looking back over this story it's just so strange but such is the nature of crossovers I guess. I would say this borders on parody as well. It was fun thinking of all the different fandoms to tie in there as well and just playing with the words and being goofy.

Haha, well they did want the "real" Uther and accidentally got this one - not that the "real" Uther seemed like all that great of a guy either, though I think he'd be a little more down with sorcery! :P I'm glad you liked his character as well, he's so irritating but was quite amusing to work on.

Thanks so much for the lovely review! :D


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Review #21, by MadiMalfoy(i must be dreaming): fear and nightmares

3rd June 2014:
Hi there! :) I'm here for the Merlin Challenge!

First of all, thank you for entering into my second challenge! It is greatly appreciated. :)

Anyway, onto the actual review. Well, this really was quite depressing, wasn't it? No worries, I still really enjoyed it! You really elaborated on two characters that are only mentioned offhandedly in the books and their encounter with Tom Riddle and how it affected their futures.

The quote was incorporated flawlessly--I loved its usage! The torture that Dennis and Amy go through at the hands of merciless Tom Riddle really exhibited his power and just how much control he had over it as a ten-year-old; it's really frightening when you think about it. The quote speaks volumes for not only those who've suffered from abuse, but also those with magic (obviously) so to have it come from the adopting mother's mouth is truly great.

Overall, your characters of Dennis and Amy were written very very well and with a nice depth we usually don't see with OCs or just minor characters. The plot was fantastically chosen--I'd always wanted more on that first fateful cave scene, and you gave it to me! I'm excited to see how you do in the Merlin challenge! :)

Thanks again for entering into my challenge, results will be up soon! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

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Review #22, by MadiMalfoyWhat Are You Doing Here?: What Are You Doing Here?

3rd June 2014:
Hi there! :) I'm here for the Merlin challenge!

Well, what a fabulous way to incorporate the non-magical challenge with my Merlin challenge--bravo to you! Thank you for entering into my challenge, also! :)

So anyway, onto my actual review! I think you wrote this very well; it had a nice pace, if a bit rushed in a few parts. I like that you had Scorpius befriending Rose (I'm a Scorose shipper myself) but not pushing it after having only known her for a few hours. Very good characterization of the next-generation kids, especially with the non-typical House sortings! It makes your story more unique.

And poor little Jacob Smith! I really liked your OC; you wrote him very well considering the situation he was thrown into and then swept along to. Maybe a little bit more description would have been nice to allow the reader to understand just how Jacob was feeling about everything from the train to the sorting and the crazy fantastical food.

Anywho, a great piece and I'm excited to see how you do in this challenge and your other challenge! Thanks again for entering! :)
~MsdiMalfoy x

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Review #23, by MadiMalfoyTraitorous Hearts: The Stolen Truth

23rd May 2014:
Hi again! :)

Well, wasn't this chapter just exciting?! Draco finally cracked Astoria and now her secret is out in the open...dun dun dun! Anywho, a great chapter!

I really enjoyed how developed you made Draco's dig into Astoria's psyche--if it had happened very quickly it wouldn't have fit very well with the pace of the story so far, so good job on keeping it until the end of the chapter! Slowly revealing all of the chinks and cracks in Astoria's armor was a brilliant idea and gives us even more background information on her!

Essentially, quite the mentally fatiguing chapter that ended with discord. I love it! Re-request for the next chapter whenever you'd feel like. :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: SO sorry for taking so long to respond! I really didn't realize how long this review had been sitting here without an answer!!

I'm SO glad that you found the chapter exciting. And thank you for your comment on the pacing. It was tricky, and I worked hard on pulling it together in a way that worked. I love the moments where I do get to peel aside Astoria's "armor", like you say. She's spent so much of the story with who she really is hidden that it excites me when I get to reveal the things that are true.

I feel like "mentally fatiguing" is an excellent way to describe this chapter. I'm sure Astoria would wholeheartedly agree. I must admit, the following chapter is probably much more *emotionally* fatiguing, but hopefully equally as exciting. My sincerest apologies for taking so long in responding. I am absolutely delighted--just sooo happy--to hear that you loved it, and I will certainly re-request when I see an opening in your review thread. Your thoughts are truly appreciated!

Thank you again,

--Penny


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Review #24, by MadiMalfoyWe Are One: It begins with pink

22nd May 2014:
Hi there! MadiMalfoy here with your review as requested! :)

Ugh, mystery stories are my FAVORITE! I haven't really had a good one recently that was actually relatively canon-so thank you! I really like that you used second person POV--it's different and makes the reader feel bad about killing Umbridge/torturing her because we don't understand why we're doing it.

Harry and Ginny are just perfect, I love it! :) Spot-on characterization with them as a couple, and with one child and another on the way! Ron and Harry's friendship is flawless as well! They flow very seamlessly together so good job on that!

The plot so far has greatly intrigued me--who really is the murderer and why did they find it important to kill her even though Voldemort is already dead? You raise great questions in the opening chapter that drags us in and makes us want to keep reading! It's very interesting so far, so keep up the good work and twist the plot even more, keep thickening it!

A fabulous start to a mystery I'm sure will eventually be solved by the great duo of Harry and Ron. Please re-request whenever you'd feel like! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hello!

You must have read a lot of mystery stories then, so I'm glad I requested a review from you. :D I'm trying to make this as realistic and twisted as possible, so I'd love your thoughts on it as it progresses!

I wasn't completely sure about the second person PoV, so your comment is really encouraging!

Aw, thank you! I'm quite bad at writing those little bits of fluff, so I'm happy you think the characterizations are good!

Yes, there will definitely be a lot of plot twists! Thank you for such a detailed review, and I most certainly will be re-requesting. :)


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Review #25, by MadiMalfoyHow to Become Minister of Magic: A Guide: Let's Make a Deal

22nd May 2014:
Hey there, MadiMalfoy with your requested review! :)

Right off the bat you pulled me in with a very proud, snobby OC! She intrigued me--who is she and who is she going to be connected with? What is her real goal here as Mr. Truman's assistant? All good questions to have your reader asking immediately!

Laney is a go-getter who wants to move up in the world and has a great idea of how to do it, thanks to growing up in France. I really hope you can pull some of those experiences in later chapters, just to throw Louis for a loop! Speaking of Louis, I LOVE your characterization of him! It's different than how he usually gets characterized so it's very refreshing!

As a whole, I didn't notice and interruption in the flow of the plot or rushing either. There were just a few spelling mistakes but those can be fixed with a quick proofreading no problem! I really liked how you started this story, I can't wait to read more!

Feel free to re-request for the next chapter at your own convenience. :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hey, terribly sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you.

Thanks for the great review! I like Laney's more intriguing and unique view on life and what it owes her and what she will get from it. Laney will definitely be throwing Louis some curveballs. I can't have Louis be the only super cool person, now can I? ;) Thanks! Gotta say that I quite like Louis myself ;) I feel like as a younger child of a less prominent part of the Wealsey family, he would be dying to make a name of his own. Thanks again and I will definitely be re-requesting ;)

Thanks
Mary


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