The whole title, theme and plot for this is genius and very original. The description of love being "quiet and fragile" is beautiful and lovely - a perfect description for someone like Narcissa who can easily come across as quite icy. The innocence in which you portray her - living in memories - contrasts with the her bitterness towards Lucius and the dark lord, in which you balanced perfectly - making her naive and experienced at the same time. The whiteness of her wedding dress also adding the purity and innocence of her. The description is beautiful - very vivid. I love the use of temperatures and imagery throughout the piece, and also the dark and light imagery. It describes her life in and out of the darkness - misery darkness with the dark lord, finding light apart - and Lucius both of them. The quote from John Green is extremely relevant, and set a tragic tone to the piece.
Overall, a fascinating and creative chapter that's gripping with exquisite detail :D Report Review
This is such a beautiful, gripping and intense one shot!! :)
You created tension brilliantly by vivid description, with lots of relevant figurative language that gave the reader imagery of angsty images, e.g "Each stream felt like bloody slices down his cheeks." So many emotive words behind the similes, that helped create that bitter angry atmosphere and really helped us empathaise with Sirius.
I love how much depth you added to Sirius - a very thoughtful one shot too - leaves you wondering about how much Sirius was left to deal with, and how much trauma he's had to deal with. You described the emotional and physical burdens of the grief, injustice and imprisonment fantastically, making it so realsitic and believable.
Another awesome thing, was the symbolisation of the smoke - like the trail left over from the angry hot fire being set free. The flash back added to the whole scarred effect of it too - and it makes you realise finally just how effected Sirius is.
A fascinating and awesome one shot - an original idea with fabulous description :DAuthor's Response: Wow, I am incredibly happy you enjoyed my story so much! Bitter anger describes Sirius's feelings perfectly during the scene at Godric's Hollow. I am so glad you felt the depth that I tried to put into Sirius's character and that you could see how much grief he was burdened with after the death of Lily and James.
I'm glad you liked the symbolism of the smoke! That's one of my favorite parts of the story so I'm glad I was able to describe that part of the story well enough that readers could connect with it. Thank you so much for your incredibly kind review!
Alli Report Review
This is an awesome, gripping chapter! You teased out the bits of information, bit by bit, which made us carry on hungrily reading. You didn't give the plot away, and her name, and stuff too quickly, making it quite tense, and unpredictible.
I like the whole idea of her knowing the boys, and being introduced to them freshly - it's very original - and shows us a different perspective on each of the characters; a new portrayal of each of them.
This story is fascinating - I loved the bits about tea in it and her comments were hilarious! I already love the character Chandler, and you managed to add depth to her just by adding little details in to her thoughts. I also love her character in contrast to the boys - their sheltered life in comparison to hers. It will be interesting to see how this turns out.
A really awesome, creative and humourous story :D Report Review
This is such a funny, awesome one shot! The whole idea is totally original and creative, and we saw more of a relaxed Harry and as a caring dad too!
Not only do I love the POV and the portrayal of each of the children. The whole plot is comical as it is so common and realistic to muggles, yet interesting how it's interpreted in a wizard situation. The character's are very easy to relate and empathaise too, and it's brilliant seeing Ginny and Harry as parents and how they handle the stress, the children and their work, e.t.c.
Overall, an awesome, thoroughly enjoyable story with lots of humour and loveellyy caring bits too, showing a stage in parenthood that we can all sympathaise for!! :DAuthor's Response: I'm so glad that you think its original :D I really wanted to try and write a comedy story that was different from others that I had read before.
You've made my day with your kind words, It means a lot for you to say that the characters are relatable.
I hope that you continue reading the story :D Thank you for reading and reviewing! Report Review
This is such an awesome story!! I love reading about Al and Lexi - they are such funny, witty characters and their story is that of pure orginality and humour.
You make the characters so loveable and genuine - I can really feel for Tasha, Al and Lexi - even though you manage to make me feel frustrated or happy each chapter. This story has a really inventive yet unpredictible plot - no idea how the characters will react to each other - and no idea what's going to happen next. You manage to tease out the story line bit by bit, in such a gripping way.
The style in which you write in makes the story really flow well, and the different relationships Al and Lexi have to maintain through all their situations are both funny and gripping at the same time, which I know doesn't really make sense, but you manage it really well!!
The title is really creative too, I just thought I'd say, ditto the awesome chapter names. An overall great story! :D Report Review
This is a brilliant chapter - scary, tense and totally awesome! The details of Rose's thoughts and observations makes this chapter so realistic and quirky - as well as the different settings which help keep the chapter exciting.
You build the suspense brilliantly through the range of sentences, Rose's thoughts drifting to snippets about the past and her dreams, and the contrast to the action and motion. It was lovely the way you wrote them as younger rather than sixteen or whatever - everybody can empathise with them then, and it makes them much more adventurous and innocent.
Overall, a fabulous read which I enjoyed thoroughly, and an awesome cliff hanger at the end :DAuthor's Response: Thanks for your review! I'm not used to writing this genre so it means a lot :) Report Review
This is such a daunting story - it stays with you long after you've read it. I had to read it twice because it was so good!
The delivery of the punching lines is so merciless it really captivates the reader. The description of Azkaban is so eerie, and the whole story has this spooky unpredictable theme that makes it so gripping.
The whole title and description is very clever - it leaves you totally unprepared and having a lot of questions - it still leaves you lingering at the end too, I suppose, and the bleak blunt style you've written this in makes it so memorable.
The character you've managed to develop over very little words, which makes it so remarkable. At first we like Georgie, and then it turns around for her to murder her dad (by purpose we are not sure) and our opinion is changed so deftly. The description in the flash back is harrowing, with such powerful emotive language it wants me to start crying next to her. It also makes us question the crime and punishment system.
This chapter is brilliant, haunting and gripping - however it could be a little bit longer - but that's just me being selfish because I want more of it! :) Report Review
This is a brilliant, engrossing and funny chapter! The characters are relatable and humourous, the whole plot is original and well played out - giving some, but not all the information away to keep the reader reading - and the lovely thoughts and rambles that make this such a unique and funny story. The characters are well developed, witty and likable - I love the character of Adele as she seems feisty, clever and funny. The whole idea of the debt and stuff is original and inventive too.The structure is neat and very easy to follow, and the clever style you write in is easy to read and humorous.
I'm looking forward to reading the rest, as it's hilarious! Well done :) Report Review
This is such an awesome story! It was cute, thoughtful and absolutely brilliant! I loved your description of Lily, and you made James and Lily so sweet together - not the arrogant cocky James some people portray him as. The sarcasm in their dialogue makes it so funny, and even sadder to think their lives were lost with such a full life. I love how it's just a small, humorous,perfectly sized one shot thats very thoughtful and an insight in to what Lily and James were like as parents. This is a unique one shot, DEFINITELY not pointless because it totally cheered me up reading this. From the light cat rambles, to the heavier emotions of exhaustion, this one shot is pure genius and shows both innocence of their adult hood, and the realism of new parenthood. The quirky bits of honour (like the swear word) and James' sarcasm made it even more enjoyable.
I loved it! :DAuthor's Response: Hi there darling!!
I'm so happy you liked this story! It was really fun to just get to explore these two as young parents. I'm really excited to write book two of my marauders series and get to go through everything with them, because it's just such a crazy time for these two! And the rest of the friends, of course ;).
I really didn't want to make it seem like they were anything close to perfect parents. No one is. Especially not two people so young dealing with so much already.
Thank you so, so much for stopping by to review ♥ it made my night! Report Review
This is a truly fascinating story! It contains brilliant description of the in depth thoughts of Snape, and more outer depth thoughts - leaving the reader satisfied yet unsatisfied with still some questions that was very artfully balanced by the writer.
This chapter gave us a useful sight in to the depth of Snape's character, and it's good you touched down that earlier one - bringing Lily in and him meeting her so early on in the book when this is a life-long desire. However, you handled it very well and it is appropriate for this story. I love the dialogue - it's very realistic and believable and really makes us grow affectionate towards the characters. The language you use and the style in which is you write is very readable and grips the reader.
An altogether interesting and awesome piece. Well done :DAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! you made my day with this! :) This is my first experience with writing FanFic so I am understandably nervous about it. You feedback helps a ton!! Hope you continue to read on! :) Report Review
The title immediately grabbed my attention, and I am very glad it did, because this story is brilliant!
I can't believe it's your first go at humour - because it's really funny and quirky. The dialogue is sharp and witty - I love the way you portray Fred and George - just as Rowling did.
Not only is it such an awesome imaginative idea - it's written with a unique style - that's really gripping. The tension that's built up as McGonagall realizes is comical, and absolutely hilarious. The cliff hanger at the end with the speech is so effective, and leaves the reader laughing and wanting more.
The way Fred says "“They’re everywhere,”" certainly had me cracking up ;)
It's just the right, perfect length as well - that keeps the reader fascinated right from the top to the bottom of the page. The way you describe facial expressions, the admirable range of sentences and the dialogue makes this such a funny, awesome and gripping story! :DAuthor's Response: Well, hello there, nice name by the way before I begin my gushing.
This was a lovely surprise to randomly check my page and see my review count just a little bit higher when I'm not expecting it. Thank you! I am so happy that you liked it. I mean, it's not like I don't include humor in my other stories but they are all more drama based, and this is the first one that was just meant to be fluffy and fun and random and I wasn't trying to be perfect, I was just writing along thinking "I hope people find this funny because I'm not sure if it is or not!"
I'm glad you like the portrayal of Fred and George, although even I have to admit, they were a bit naive throughout the whole thing... I do still love the scenes with the muggles though. A year later it cracks me up more than it did when I wrote it.
Anyway I'm so super ecstatic that you liked it and thanks again for taking the time to review! You're awesome!
xxEnigmaticEyes16 Report Review
This is such a sweet lovely chapter! You created a loving family atmosphere, that describes Molly and the burrow perfectly. I love your portrayal of Audrey - much more friendly and nicer than the nasty cliches.
Percy's very generous, and loveable - quite a big jump from when we last saw him, but you managed to smooth that over and tell us that he progressed and Audrey brough out the side of him - that normally wouldn't be very believable but you made it so by making Audrey such a gentle thoughtful person.
The chapter title is very inventive and imaginative - I love how much it applies to the context of Audrey's child blossoming, and Percy blossoming as a good person, e.t.c. I can't really think of a much more appropriate title ;) I like the way you showed the pros and cons of having so many children - not just the negative parts, but you've shown both sides to having a large family.
Another quirky thing about this story is the nickname Mop - which I think is very helpful to create affection for a character and help build on that relationship between the toddler and the rest of the family. I like the way you made the cake "freddie" instead of fred - to show that there are both similarities and differences between the two characters - and also how affected everyone is - even people that didn't know him like Audrey.
Overall, a really detailed, descriptive thoughtful chapter that was a pleasure to read! :DAuthor's Response: Hi! Thanks so much for stopping by to read and review, I really appreciate it. I'm so very sorry I've taken ages to respond!
I do love the atmosphere at the Burrow - it's partly why I started writing the story! As for Audrey, I'd never really read anything with her in it, so I had no idea what the cliches were! But I just thought that she'd have to be someone patient, and kind, and probably a little bit no-nonsense, to be Percy's wife!
Thank you for your comment on Percy - I didn't want it to seem that he had changed as if by magic (!), but I did want him to have developed significantly. I think fatherhood would also have made him see the world a little differently, and have a different appreciation of his parents. I actually think he was never 'bad', as such - just somewhat lost and easily led in his desire to prove himself. Ron had that same desire, but luckily he was influenced by good friends, not power.
I love big, rambling families! I want one of my own, pros and cons included. I'm very glad that you pointed out the story title - it's actually not the original title, but once I changed it to 'The Blossoming', it just fit perfectly. I'm glad you thought so too! It works for many other characters as well :)
Haha well, Mop and Freddie were originally born of necessity, as I didn't want confusion - and having 'Jr.' or 'II' is not very Weasleyish! But I really like the nickname 'Mop' for the toddler, and it's good to know you found it established a relationship with her family.
Thank you so much, again, for reading and reviewing!
xo Report Review
This is an absolutely brilliant story!! It has you hooked right from the very begginning, and just doesn't let go. I love the way Remus refers to the Wolf as "we" - that's very clever and original - as well as calling the wolf "Wolf" and describing it as another thing entirely, just trapped inside his body.
You put in a perfect balance of description - it really sets the scene and makes it realistic. The way you describe the wolf's actions, and the dynamics of the fight through real dog terms is very effective at gripping the reader - e.g. "being submissive and accepting Wolf as its leader." That's brilliant and makes it even more engrossing and enchanting.
I love the description as he turns in to a wolf - you portrayed his helplessness and hatred so well, especially including how he argued with the wolf, playing even more on the idea that he's being possessed, and can't control the beats inside him, e.t.c. The POV change does make it even more genius - the way you make Lupin have his very human thoughts and worries, and then we see the wolf's thoughts and how different they are.I don't have any criticism - this piece was brilliant!
Overall, an absolutely thrilling and unique read that I enjoyed immensely. Very perceptive of Dumbledore's position, Lupin's friends, and of course Lupin himself. Awesome! :DAuthor's Response: Heya!! :D
I'm glad that you liked this story and that it hooked you from the very beginning. That's what I was aiming for.
I honestly had to do a lot of research when it came to wolf/dog mannerisms. Even watched a bit of dog trainer shows to get some ideas! My goal was to make Wolf believable so I'm glad that you thought he felt realistic.
Glad that you really enjoyed this! However, I really do apologize for taking forever to give you an answer. It's been months! Life is crazy sometimes.
Thank you for taking your time to read and review!
Hope to see you around again,
--Rosie Report Review
AHHH!! Extreme awesomeness!! I wish she was actually the transfiguration teacher, that would be awesome. Grace is so cute and awesome - the straddle bit is hilarious!!
I love the french bits, again Val, I think it adds that extra touch of uniqueness and quirkiness to the story.
Awkward situations - ove them - though I'm hating Oliver so much right now!! How can he just expect to go back in to Grace and Kiwi's life when he leaves them for five years?! He's acting jerk-ish as well and cocky. Gr. More Cat as well! Yayayayay she's getting married, though what about Maia? I hope she comes back in!! I like the way Grace starts screaming as well, that was very funny! And the way Cat calls her grapes, a very cool nickname.
Overall, awesome piece and I loved it!! :DAuthor's Response: YOU AGAIN!
Oliver is a cocky idiot, yes, but that's why we love him, right? And he wasn't the only one who left -- it was Kiwi's choice to run away to Canada. They're both as stupid as one another!
Maya does come back in, no worries :) More Cat, more Grace, more Kiwiver soon!
THANK YOU FOR YOUR FAMBUBBLYBUMSHUS REVIEW :) Report Review
Uno: Fern - I love the way she is friends with Peeves - totally original, inventive and so awesome!!
Dos: The unbeatable duelling team!! Hell Yeah! It made the twins seem so more realistic and their relationship so much more strong. I love the way their defense and attack positions reflect their characters.
Treiz: Louis and Autumn huh? I love the way it's Louis and not James, or Al. I love this relationship even more than...wait for it...even more than KIWI AND OLIVER!!
Quattro: The bits of humour you put in it is just amazing and make it so funny!! The Uncle George bits had me falling about laughing, you portrayed him so well and humorously.
Cinqo: AWESOME CHAPTER!! Overall brilliance and Hirrandipops!! (New word)
100,237.674 out of ten! :3Author's Response: Uno: You're awesome.
Dos: Unbeatable duelling team indeed! There will probably be some Muggle fighting too in further chapters.
Tres: ME TOO EVEN MORE THAN KIWOOD -- which is why it'll take even more time!
Quattro: More George in chapter 4, you'll see :)
Cinqo: YOU ARE HIRRANDIPOPS AND YOU MAKE MY DAY EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. &hearts Report Review
Hello! This is your gryffie present review!! :)
This story is absolutely beautiful, unique and definitely mesmerising. It grips you - the suspense you build is brilliant with the repetition at the beginning and the fleeting and subtle smile. This adds more a childlike theme to it, creating an innocent and adventurous atmosphere.
You built the foundations of such an amazing story - it's totally unpredictable and original - which is quite hard to achieve. I love the short sentences - just the way a child thinks in short sharp bursts of thought that really give that realistic child feel to it. I love the cliffhanger all the way through - you constantly have the reader asking questions the whole way through - leaving us half satisfied.
I think you've picked a creative and interesting perspective - from Narcissa as a child. You wrote her very well, making her come across as quite a naive and curious person which is lovely to see in comparison to some other nasty protrayals. I love how at first she is scared - which then develops in to trust - and then in to fear again. You transformed the emotions very smoothly, all the while keeping up the certain reptition. the way you simply phrase 'I was scared' is very effective - it certainly made me scared for her!
Also, I love how the smile (fleeting and subtle) reflects his personality. I don't know if you deliberately did this, but it definitely reminds me of Peter Pan. The characteristics are similar and the nature - I think it's very clever if you did base Peter on Peter Pan.
Overall, a fascinating, unputdownable and throughly enjoyable read - with great character development just through short sentences. The way you repeat things works really well with this piece and it is extremely awesome!
Happy Birthday for the 23rd!!! :D Report Review
AWESOME!!! I loved it - especially the way you describe every fine detail in this amazing story!! The dramatic irony when the initials came out.I was like screaming at the computer by then. I completely empathaise with the complete school pile on, I never achieved that sadly, though I would've very much liked that to happen ;) The sadness in this chapter, but it's such a memorable story with such complex, interesting and awesome plot lines. I don't have any idea how you wrote so much about the Welsh Holiday...the legend about the Merlin thing was extremely cool and very believable - is it actually true? I love the way you write their innocence and complete seriousness as they talk about the grand plan. It's very cute, and I shall be sad to see this story go, like I'm sure many others will be too! FAVOURITE WORD: smushing - "smushing my face on his shoulder". Awesome! :D Report Review
I lovveee this!! It's so pretty and amazing! The way you describe it it's really detailed, and gripping, and awesome!! The setting is true to the romantic theme, Paris is an awesome setting, and the way you write makes it feel like we are right beside Molly :) Ahhh the last sentence is kind of a good cliffhanger, leaves the reader savouring it, hanging on to every word. The way you describe the receptionist as "snake-like" is so clever, pure genius, as the metaphors keep rolling and it's extremely creative.
So far, you've balanced out the soppy boring predictable romance that everyone pretends to hate and actually loves, with an element of tension, suspense and mystery. This chapter was extrodinarily fascinating, and you've already got me in love with Molly (not literally). The way you've mordernized a song that's meant to be old is original too, and very cool. I am so excited for the next chapter!! :) Report Review
I just love love love this story!! It's very capturing, and the characters are so awesome, funny and original!! I love the way you don't stereotype Al, and it's really interesting to see him portrayed a different way. It's such a funny story, with haliarious character traits and a brilliantly quirky and cool plot line. It kind of adds a twist to all the cliches. So yeah, complete and utter awesomeness! Really creative and cool beans!! :DAuthor's Response: Wow. Thank you so much. I'm really glad you like it and that you like this version of Albus. :)
Sam. Report Review
So so moving and touching - completely new and not what I was expecting at all. You build up the suspense very well - the tension just slowly creeps up on you - and I had to read it twice to let it sink in! When you started, you had a very good idea of keeping it brief and mysterious but still keeping the reader interested. I was gripped from start to finnish. I love how descriptive and intense this is, but not too sad. It's hard to explain!! Basically you balanced the thoughtfulness of the story with the sadness, and it's such a beautifully daunting piece!! Write more please, because this is fantastic!! :D Report Review
Yes, of course I love the christmas theme! You got across how poor they were brilliantly without over doing it cheesily, it was a fine balance but you managed to get it just right! The presents were lovely and creative - I loved the idea of the tree pendants! I also love the way you made each sister so unique, their characterisitics and quirks make them easy to remember and tell apart, yet still they're so similar at the same time! You made Dom not stereotypical and cloche to! Woo! I love all the characters in this book, especially the gay uncles ;)
It made me laugh so much - from the witty banter and halirious dialogue, to the bra-hanging on the tree. It was gripping, and extremely humourous. Val, this is a master piece. I will be recommending this world wide, goddamnit, with plenty of drama and a fantabulous chapter title and summary.
I love how real you make it seem, with all the lovely extra clauses you add - it gives me a whole new perspective on hogwarts. You showed by a new light on Hogwarts in a way I've never seen before, and you made all the relationships so scrummy and belivable. You've learnt Rowling's trick of all the different characters, lots and lots, and it's the minor characters and detail along with the fambubblybumshus plots that make this the most amazing story ever.
Ellen is motherly, with such a recognisable trait of care that you captured beautifully - we can all empathise with her.
Roxy is cheeky ad awesome, and you divided the houses up so so so well, along with making slytherin not the cliched evil house.
From Dom studying Wandlore to the name Yuna, the detail is extraordinary and completely and utterly confradgiliant! It certainly got me all christmassy, and excited! Perfect for all styles of writing, all genres and all ages (aside form the swearing..) this chapter is relatable, and un-put-downable with a thrilling cliff hanger at the end.
Just beautiful Val, beautiful. :DAuthor's Response: Oh, Sophie. YOU ARE THE MOST FAMBUBBLYBUMSHUS PERSON ON THIS PLANET &hearts
(And I should go die in a corner for taking so long to respond)
Hooray for gay uncles! Noah is one of my favourite characters, so you can expect quite a lot of him in the coming chapters :)
Stereotypical, blonde, prim Dom irritates me, and I'm really, really happy you think I manage to more or less steer her from cliches!
As for the rest of your compliments, can I just respond by saying that I love you much and that you have made my entire month with this review? &hearts &hearts
If you proclaim that you love this, it is nothing in comparison to the profession of my undying love for you (in a purely platonic sense of course, but I think you get my point).
&hearts Report Review
Ohhh, I am kind of surprised about Tim/Cat - I
thought they were good couple material at the
beginning, having pranking competitions and such at
the start, but then there was Ben, and that got me
But yes! Overall a brilliant outcome, with a brilliant
balance of not too much gore but yet still having the
reader gripped. I liked the last sentence or rather
disliked it because it's sad :( Man, you know how to
tug at the good ol' heart strings.
It was quite fast paced, but the description slotted in
nicely with it, and we saw a more vunerable side to
each of the girls, adding a more realistic depth to
I kind of hate Oliver right now, he wasn't even there
to see his own daughter be born!!! NOOO!!!
I love how brave Cat and Kim are - Cat being all
supportive through the hospital, and Kim being so
courageous and trying to not show her feelings about
Wood, who frankly, I'm hating on at the moment.
Oh the tension at that cliffhanger. How is either of
them going to live without each other for 5 years?
The suspense is too much to bear!! (almost, I can
handle it pretty well :P)
To conclude a fambubblybumshus chapter indeed,
with a sincerely crumdiddlyfrumpshus ending. Go
Grace Helen Willows!! :DAuthor's Response: I THROW MYSELF AT YOUR FEET FOR FORGIVENESS AT TAKING SO LONG.
Ben was there on purpose to mix you up, I'm glad that worked ;) For me, he's like Cat's older brother; it was always Tim.
I'm furious at Oliver, yet I didn't imagine him turning up, because he's so stubborn. But he'll be back soon of course, otherwise the title of this story wouldn't make sense!
(They won't manage to live without each other, of course, but they won't admit it, which makes their meeting even more fun and full of URST!)
GO GRACE HELEN WILLOWS AND GO YOU TOO, FAMBUBBLYBUMSHUS YOURSELF :) Report Review
Here for the November Review Swap for Gryffindor!! :D
Firstly, I thought the way the war affected him was extremely realistic, and you really developed his character, showing his soft side that we haven't seen before, but you wrote it with a touch of harshness that made it still believable - anymore description or love emotions and it would've been cheesy and unrealistic.
I love the way Astoria flirts with him, and he's taken by her, but I think you could've made him resist a tiny bit more, be a bit more defiant towards falling in love at first. When it says "The concern in her eyes snapped him out of it" you could've builded a bit more on it, just a sentence of how he tried to regain composure or something, because I don't think Malfoy would willingly let someone help him that easily, even if he was drunk - I think you did reflect that well but just a tiny bit more would really get the idea across.
The way the touch of her hand and the repetition playing across his mind is brilliantly done - absolutely perfect like he's savouring the moments in his darkened life. In addition to that, you fed the guilt and horror with his past well in to this story, creating the perfect balance of remorse through drinking and trying to forget by it.
The description and detail is to be admired greatly, "It filled the irregular, empty spaces between the pain and resentment that defined his daily life." I thought that summed up what his life would be like amazingly well, very believable and really sets the scene.
Overall, I cannot easily find faults with this chapter, the whole idea is completely original and not overdone with soppy romance. It has you gripped from start to finish with outstanding emotion and detail weaved in to this piece. The chapter title is very clever and a fab play on words. Absolutely awesome! :)Author's Response: Hi, there! Thanks for stopping by!
I've always felt like the war took a lot of the malice and arrogance out of Draco, because he had a front-row seat for so many terrible things when Voldemort took over Malfoy Manor. That said, he's still Draco Malfoy, and he was raised to believe in certain things. Starting with book 6, he became a very complex character to me and I simply can't abide fics where he's portrayed as either a one-dimensional villain or a glowing story of redemption. Neither does his character justice.
In my mind, Draco's life was at such a low point when Astoria walked into it that there wasn't much fight left in him. He was drunk and he'd just finished being thrown out of two bars and throwing up in Knockturn Alley. She must have seemed like a gift from the gods. but perhaps it is a bit abrupt. I'll think on it.
I really tried hard to emphasize the impact she had on his emotional state, which wasn't good at the time. I think her presence, the physical feelings of her touching his hand and the way she makes him feel all would have taken on a very heightened importance to him.
I'm really glad that you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Man, you handled the emotion with Oliver and Kiwi well - too well - and I don't know who's side i'm on!! I'm angry at both of them!! Oliver for abandoning her, and Kiwi for not telling him in the first place!
Kiwi's mum is awesome, almost as much as me and Cat ;) I think it's really clever about the bucket and the water broken bit, very inventive, and the suspense is nicely built up.
Brilliant use of languages, and fave quote: "I still felt like a piece of shit."
I also liked the rather witty kitchen comment :)
I think it would be easier to tell it from Cat's point of View, because she can add details and perceptions that Kiwi wouldn't admit to herself, minus the gory bits.
I think.hmm, a girl, called Gwenog like from the Harpies!! If not, you can call it Sophie because that is such a cool name :D
I like the bit about the stretch grow presents, that bit was funny and inventive.
Well handled emotion - you weaved anger, sadness, confusion and shock in to this chapter, with a different side to Kiwi we haven't seen before. Awesome :DAuthor's Response: You shouldn't be taking sides, the pair of them are idiots.
Nah, you're more awesome than either Cat or Kiwi's mum (though they're pretty awesome too)!
You're awesome &hearts Report Review
Amazing again, Val ;)
Brilliant tension build up towards the end, delivery of cliffhanger was purrrfecto!!
Sweet, awesome and totally gripping - my eyes were stuck to the screen!! Cat and Ben - aw!! The structure of chapters, the slow build ups to the climax is brilliant -another awesome chapter full of joy, shock and more Cat awesomeness!! :DAuthor's Response: Ah, but is it Cat and Ben? You'll find out soon, I promise!
Cat awesomeness. Enough said.
Thank you for this wonderful review. I solemnly swear I will update soon.
&hearts Report Review
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