Reading Reviews From Member: harrietm
  
63 Reviews Found

Review #26, by harrietmLucky One: Chapter 9 - Hand Written Apology

7th August 2013:
I really like this story so far :) Well...until that last bit where Hermione left, but I have every hope she will return!

Your writing style's really good, especially your description of things, with not just describing what's being seen but also touch, smell etc. I also particularly like how you've portrayed Draco, as every bit the gentleman. It's a shame Ron has to be portrayed oppositely for the sake of the plot, but it is surprisingly believable that Ron would act that way, and I am more than ok with Draco being swoon-worthy ;)

Just one line I noticed and was like "What?" I think it needs a comma or something, to make it read better:
"I'm not going to make you have to decide I'm deciding for you"

Also I think your dialogue could possibly benefit from strategic pauses, just so it doesn't seem like the characters are rushing through some of the more intense conversations.

But overall, loving it! Keep it up and I look forward to the next update! :)

Author's Response: Firstly, thank you for the wonderful review, constructive criticism is greatly appreciated.

You have every right to hope that she will return, I do too... :P

My description is something I've really been working on especially for the prologue. If he wasn't going to be mean like his dad, he had to be like him somehow and Lucius clearly prided himself on being a gentleman, I like to think that's one good thing he could have passed on to his son.

Ron, yes, he is a bit, but really I've just accentuated the idiocy from the books, he now loves food too much.

Thank you for pointing that sentence out, it really does need a comma. Dialogue is the next thing on my list that I need to work on, I'm too used to writing scripts where I don't have to do that, the actors and director decide that for me.

Next update will come soon! Keep reading!

LR
x


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Review #27, by harrietmShut Up and Kiss Me: An Abundance of Chaos

29th July 2013:
Coulda sworn I'd reviewed this already but alas, no! Just me, having another crazy moment.
So here goes:
- I loved Leo's story so, so much :') I never would've dreamed cultery could be so cute haha!
- Scorp and swear words. Nuff said.
- James has to not be hurt too bad! Although I certainly didn't expect him to get trapped in a greenhouse, so points for the plot twist!
Please update asap :D But I'll totally understand if you don't. I've been a shocking updater in recent months, so I can't really talk!

Author's Response: Hahaha, I'm glad you are! Love your reviews.
Been a bit busy :P I've got to get this next chapter edited and up soon, I'm sure everyone is just appalled by how late the update is :/

Oh well, the story will be finished! Mark my words!


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Review #28, by harrietmThe Invisible Thief : Trouble equals Malfoy

29th July 2013:
I really like this story and where it's going, keep it up! I particularly like Brielle as the protagonist, she's so.sassy! Haha
Just a few typos I noticed: should be persistent not persistence, and Hogsmeade not Hogsemede. But otherwise great writing and I look forward to the next update :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Brielle is one sassy mama! She's a got a very sharp tongue. Thank you for correcting them! I am human so mistakes are bound to happen here and there. Hmph, I guess I've been spelling Hogsmeade wrong this whole time! That's embarrassing.

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Review #29, by harrietmAnd Capers Ensue: Epilogue

27th July 2013:
This story has been really freaking excellent the whole way through, I'm sad it's over but simultaneously cheering...he bought her a cupcake!!!
The humour and creativity of this fanfic ranks it super high in the list of top fanfics I've ever read, and it's so unique - I've never read anything like it, and that's what makes me love it so much.
So thanks for the ride!!! Your effort and brilliance is much appreciated :)
And I have kind of forgiven you for making me think Scorpius was going to die.
...Kind of.

Author's Response: He *baked her a cupcake ;D

Thank you so much! c: It means so much to me that you've enjoyed it (even if Scorpius nearly died, or maybe he can crack the joke like Albus did--Scorpius had died. Once.)


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Review #30, by harrietmThe Silver Lining: While the Muggles Are Away

27th July 2013:
I really really like this story so far! The humour's great (the cats, oh my lord, the cats) and you've also done a great job introducing everyone. The whole idea of a muggle protagonist has me hooked too, especially as Sam's not entirely happy with her muggle life :)
Did not see Albus as a player, but after that is chapter I kinda do haha! This should be interesting! I hope Sam puts him in his place, or someone else does. Or maybe James arrives on the scene...could be a good love triangle ;)
Just watch your use of "your" and "you're", but otherwise great writing and I look forward to the next update (and also the other story you're writing!) :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you like it (and yeah, the cats part was really fun. I was cracking up while I wrote it)!
And don't you worry! Sam will continue to smack Al into place. :D
Thanks for the comment!


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Review #31, by harrietmThis Time With Us: July, 2037 - Epilogue: You, Me and Time

24th July 2013:
Thank you thank you thank you for such a great read :) I could go into details but it would be really long so I'll just say it was fantastically heartfelt and humorous and human, I will miss reading it, but I will look forward to seeing any more of your writing in the future! :)

Author's Response: Thanks for sticking with me till the end! And 'human' was really what I was hoping to go for - a fairytale concept wasn't my thing this time around, so I'm so so happy that you thought so! Thank you for reading and reviewing!

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Review #32, by harrietmBeing the Other Woman: Forgetting James Potter

24th July 2013:
I really like the idea behind this story and your writing style :) You're particularly good at closing the chapters in a way that makes me want to read another one *hint, hint, nudge, nudge*
One slight criticism is that there wasn't really any anger or angst regarding their initial break up, which I guess I figured would be mixed up with all the other feelings James and Vi are feeling, and maybe wasn't expressed :)
P.S I like your review theory. Wish people really did that!

Author's Response: Awh thank you for all the support! I really appreciate it. I know I don't update as much as I should, but in my defense, my computer has been out of commission for two months and I've been having to use my husband's yucky one! Anyways to respond to your constructive criticism, the anger kind of passed already. 8ish years later and neither is quite sure what really happened to break them up so its more confusion when they see each other again than anger, really. But more emotions will stir up, I promise you that!

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Review #33, by harrietmNot Just a Bystander: And then I have a merry Christmas...

5th July 2013:
Thank you so much for writing such a brilliant story!! You had me hooked right from the very beginning, and reading like crazy to the end. A real cyber page-turner! Loved the characters, the pranks, the humour, and of course the romance :) :)
The only thing I would say is that occasionally there would be slip ups with words that sound the same but are different...like there, their and they're; your and you're; and heal and heel. Oh and mixing up anecdote and antidote! But none of these stopped the whole thing from reading very well and overall having very few mistakes :) So thanks again and I look forward to seeing anymore stories you write!

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Review #34, by harrietmShut Up and Kiss Me: The Bent Spoon

27th June 2013:
I haven't reviewed in ages, and for that I am sincerely sorry. Study has had me swamped. But I have read all the most recent chapters and enjoyed them immensely :) The bit about thw spoons was good fun, I often like the flashbacks. Although sometimes I think maybe they're a bit long? I find I want to rush through them a little to get back to the story. ..but that could just be me! Thanks again for writing such a great story to keep coming back and reading, update soon!! :)

Author's Response: Well, I haven't written in ages. We're in the same boat, harrietm. Same, sad boat. Er, right, yeah so I really enjoyed writing these chapters! I'm glad that you're a fan! Oh yeah, I'm finished with flashbacks. I just wanted to make connections. I should stop flashbacking altogether, to be honest. It's become a sort of crutch for my writing. Anyways, expect another chapter soon! I just have to finish with the details of it and upload it

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Review #35, by harrietmNo Ordinary Nutter: Of Nutters and a Last-Name basis

11th April 2013:
Dhkdjjdbdmdkddy! Always get so excited when this story is updated, and I wasn't disappointed :D I don't even really know what to say, I just overall really enjoyed it. Again, just a tinsy bit predictable that she would end up in James's bed! But oh well, I did find it funny when Halle was getting her memory back!
Looking forward to the next update :D
P.s Chocolate + Dr Who = one of THE best combinations ever.

Author's Response: AHAHA THANKS FOR THE REVIEW LOVELY :D i know, i am slightly predictable but its so much fun writing cliches :) i promise to update soon :D
add tea to the combination and you've got the best sunday ever :D


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Review #36, by harrietmShut Up and Kiss Me: No Means Yes

7th April 2013:
Hmmm. Interesting. Actually have mixed feelings about this chapter. Don't get me wrong, I understood the 'James's crazy spiral out of control' idea, but at the beginning it just seemed to me like he was on drugs or something haha I think maybe it might have been lacking a bit of pure anger in there, like getting him to smash something up! I don't really know, maybe I just didn't pick up on the depressed undertones of the craziness in quite the way you probably intended. Although, it was touching to see Albus's and Ellie's reactions in particular, and I liked the idea of Leo and James having a heart to heart. Harry's cameo maybe could've had more impact too, but I did like Leo's pang of jealousy...that was a nice touch of reality. The Remus part was also good to read!
Lily blurting out that she knows Ellie's a werewolf is sure to be interesting! I have liked Lily for a while now, and hopefully she'll push Jellie together ;)
Anyways, don't let any of my minor criticisms get you down. I'm still reading, and the fact that I'm so emotionally attached to your characters in the first place is a credit to you writing :)

Author's Response: Hello harrietm!

Actually...funny story: I originally had him get drunk, but then I thought, "Nah...I don't really want to have James do that. He's like seventeen years old." So, this is an adaptation of that former idea of mine. Great, he should have smashed something! What am I doing with my life?! I'll have him smash something coming on up, I promise!

Harry's cameo? Ha, that made me laugh :P I figured I need to add in Harry or Ginny, because it would have been suspicious, not seeing them at all during the winter break, heh. My lazy writing just comes out, doesn't it?

Someone's gotta push Jellie together. Those kids have just been frustrating everyone, haven't they? We shall see! I don't even know yet, because I'm still working the next chapter out :D

Oh...you're fine with the criticisms. There's always room for improvement, especially here. There's like a whole house that could be improved in this story (that didn't make sense...)

Thank you for this wonderful review!


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Review #37, by harrietmShut Up and Kiss Me: Hope is Rubbish

4th April 2013:
Hello again!! I am in some serious need of conflict resolutoon haha Although I can see how you're setting things up...so excited for the next chapter! Literally fistpumped for Leo, such a kickass moment, and so necessary. And Scorpius, freaking adorable. I can't say I did expect James to get so sad at losing Rachelle, but it does make sense, I mean, he was practically using her as a shield from the pain. But I really hope he gets happy soon :(
Just a few typos in some of the dialogue that I picked up:
- corned instead of cornered
- something big must've happen
- rachelle says fallen apart but james says falling apart
That was all I noticed though so good job again :)

Author's Response: I should really re-read through these things before I put them up, luckily I have you to catch my mistakes :P

Oh...the next chapter won't resolve anything :/, but it will happen :D

I know, right?! He's such a bad A!

I completely agree, it was unexpected, but realistic :) those were my intentions, of course.

Sad James is really awful to write, so you can expect him to be happy soon :)


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Review #38, by harrietmShut Up and Kiss Me: An Unspoken Realization

27th March 2013:
Nawww, a filler but a cute filler. The whole theme of "what is love?", very nice!
Speaking of love, loved the book analysis, how symbolic and deep of you ;) And there's still hope for Jellie! (or at least I like to think there is!) A small criticism, you sometimes use language that's very similar very close together...eg"wince at my stupid answer" and "wince at my stupid response"...just watch it cos it is repetitive and not as smooth to read as it could be :)
Also it will be interesting to see what happens with Leo...hmmm.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to the next chapter, keep it up :D

Author's Response: Hello there!

So...yeah...I wrote this chapter in a couple of hours (don't tell anyone), because I wanted to get something in while I battled with the next chapter :/. I know, I should have just worked out the blasted thing and put it up when I figured it out, but I didn't...

Er, right so...the books are favourites of mine :P they happen to be on my desk right now, so I tweaked them into the story. Jellie is slowly progressing, eh? I'm hoping the plot isn't too slow :/

I think Leo's conclusion will be the most surprising for readers to read. I'm so excited for you to read it! ;D (I'm giggling like a two year old right now)


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Review #39, by harrietmNo Ordinary Nutter: Of Nutters and Unexpected Kisses

19th March 2013:
Whoa whoa whoa! I knew Al would be pissed but I didn't anticipate his violent reaction!! The was an enjoyable chapter, as was the last one, idk why you think the last one was bad :) It fact, although this chapter was more dramatic, I probably enjoyed it less than the last one because the idea of the party was a bit...cliche? But that's just me, reading too many fanfics for my own good :P
That said I still thoroughly enjoyed intro of this chapter (just tickled my funny bone), the kiss (AGJDBDNDKDGTYFFY!) and the mystery of the box has me very intrigued! :)
Keep it up; update, update, update :D
(from the person who is currently not updating haha)

Author's Response: aww, THANKYOU :D tickled your funnybone. i endevaour to tickle everyones funnybone so that was a rewarding compliment.
and it was absolutley cliche, but hey, they're cliches for a reason right? (yeah...that didnt make sense)
DA BOX? THE BOX? THE BALL? MYSTERRRYYY
i shall update soon (: (YESSHH, YOU MUST UPDATE TOO, NON-UPDATING CHILD)
penguin.


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Review #40, by harrietmShut Up and Kiss Me: Make-up and Mayhem

14th March 2013:
This is my favourite chapter by far!!! Jellie overload :D I shall may a list to keep this review as concise and non-waffly as possible:
1. "so I still have money to invest in my future." haha screw you Rachelle!
2. James new career idea, omg, so ideal ;)
3.Scorpius you genius!
4. Make-up confusion, James, I feel you bro.
5. THAT KISS
6. James sticking up for werewolves - Ellie, hurry up and work out he's perfect!
7. Ellie smiling adorably was adorable

The end! Enjoy! (as I clearly enjoyed this chapter) :D

Author's Response: Ohmygorilla! Best.review.ever!

I shall also respond in a concise manner to stay somewhat articulate :P

1. Iknowright?! I didn't think anyone would pick up on that. You, my dear, are the ideal reader.
2. He's certainly figuring out what he wants to do, and he'll be surrounded by werewolves whether Ellie takes him or not.
3. Scorpius is a boss! Although, we do have to give Albus some credit too...nah.
4. Geez, don't even get me started on make-up. For all I know, girls stand in front of the mirror and stare at it until the mirror fairy comes and grants them their make-up wish.
5. Ha, yes...*blushes*
6. Indeed! I agree wholeheartedly.
7. Definitely, and it threw ole' Leo off, didn't it? Poor kid, probably thinks she's insane.

Yay! Thank you :D
soapman333


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Review #41, by harrietmShut Up and Kiss Me: Roles Reversed

14th March 2013:
Oooo I don't like Anthony haha But then it is kinda nice that Leo's showing a more mature side. Scorp's second secret mission! Hooray! Hope it's more successful than the last ;)
Small typo near the end though I've just noticed, should be Charlotte at a 'loss' for words not 'lose' :)
But otherwise...you know I love this story :D

Author's Response: Ha, hello again :D

Ha, Anthony. I've got a soft spot for the bloke, but that's probably because I created him. Eh, mature-ish. He'll grow up a lot more soon enough. Heh, I've got an even softer spot for Scorp and his silly antics.

Oh dear! Thanks for noticing that typo for me :P I'll go fix it now.
soapman333


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Review #42, by harrietmShut Up and Kiss Me: Scorpius' Secret Mission

13th March 2013:
Oh my fudging gobstones!! Jellie! I do love/hate you!! They kissed but but but no happy ending yet! Although I did know it wouldn't be simple...but poor James! The end of this chapter was just so dramatic! Can't write any more because I'm that eager to read the next chapter haha

Author's Response: Oh geez, this chapter was so hard for me to write...I want my characters to be happy :/

They shall be soon, though. I hope the next few chapters are to your liking :D

Thanks for your wonderful feedback :)

soapman333


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Review #43, by harrietmShut Up and Kiss Me: James' Jolt

2nd March 2013:
Oooo I quite liked the cliffy haha! This whole chapter was rather enjoyable and worth the wait, although I'm still seriously shipping Jellie, want them to hurry up and get together :P

Author's Response: Jellie.Jellie.Jellie. That's the funniest pairing name ever! I'm totally stealing it (I'll credit it to you, of course)!

Thanks :D
soapman333


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Review #44, by harrietmShut Up and Kiss Me: The Princess and the Death Eater

9th February 2013:
Hahaha James is hilarious! And Scorpius is so adorable :3 And Leo so nice and comforting. And Ellie's back! But still not going to date James any time soon :( Hopefully something will change her mind.
Loved this chapter :D The ending was good too! "to face a simpler world" I liked that bit a lot, it was very elegant.

Author's Response: Why thank you! I'm glad you're responding well to my characters :D Nah, I don't think she'd be very happy if she tried to date him now, she's got some insecurities to overcome. I liked the ending too ;).

Thanks again for your wonderful feedback,
soapman333


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Review #45, by harrietmShut Up and Kiss Me: I Need New Friends

9th February 2013:
I've been reading this story recently and I'm really enjoying it :) I love the changing viewpoints and all the characters have me somewhat emotionally attached haha
I liked this chapter, it was cute the way Albus knew what Scorpius was going to say. And Charlotte was also pretty cute in her way.
The only thing was the end of the chapter could've maybe been more dramatic if you ended with Leo's more worried pov, a cliffhanger of sorts just to really make people excited for the chapter. Or even just ended with the quote "I need new friends", just to make it cleaner/sharper? Idk.
That said, I'm excited anyway for Ellie's return and more of James :D
Loving it overall, update soon! :)

Author's Response: Thank you for your feedback! I will definitely take your advice. I'm glad you like my character development :) The next chapter should be validated later tonight or tomorrow morning.

Thanks again,
soapman333


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Review #46, by harrietmThe First Letter: Letters Home

4th February 2013:
Nice little one-shot, Albus is quite cute as an ickle first year! :)
Just a few things I noticed though:
"Hello sweat heart"
Gryffindor not Griffendoor, Lily not Lilly, hippogriff bait not Hypogriff bate.
"Lilly looked shocked and appalled..." section needn't be in italics either.
But overall, I enjoyed reading :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for pointing those out! I must have had a massive brain fart when I wrote and posted this lol Thanks again :)

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Review #47, by harrietmNo Ordinary Nutter: Of Nutters and the First Task

4th February 2013:
I legitimately squealed with glee when I saw this was up!
OH MY FUDGING GOBSTONES THAT WAS BRILLIANT!!!
So original, so emotional, so exciting, so unpredictable, so clever!! The boggarts! Omg omg omg omg!!!
LOVED IT.

Author's Response: aww, my favourite reviewer returns :D
im really glad you loved it :) this review just makes me happy. HAPPY I SAY!


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Review #48, by harrietmAnd Capers Ensue: The Great Escape

2nd February 2013:
I could write loads of really nice stuff about your fabulous writing but there really isn't enough space so I'll keep it simple.
LOVE THIS STORY.
SCORPIUS + BEA 5EVA.
KEEP WRITING.
EXCITED.
OVER AND OUT. :)

Author's Response: CONCISENESS WORKS!
LOVE YOU.
WILL KEEP WRITING.
EXCITED TOO!
♥!


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Review #49, by harrietmMissing: Tori

15th January 2013:
Hello I get sad when people don't review my story and this is so fabulous I couldn't not tell you what I thought. This story is brilliant because I'm in love with the concept: the flicking between Charlie and Tori. The contrast between the two characters and the continuing mysyery of why Tori's missing and if she'll come back, and the simple way it means there's always little cliffhangers...I just can't help myself, I have to keep reading. The romance issues also have me completely sucked in, they're described really well. So please update soon!! And thanks for creating such a good story, keep it up :)

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much for the lovely review! And I'm glad you seem to be enjoying both Charlie's and Tori's points of view!
Courtney:)


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Review #50, by harrietmThe Madness That is My Life: The Madness of Not Normal

12th January 2013:
I've just finished reading this story all the way up to where it is...so consider this a mega review for all the chapters thusfare! :) Really enjoying this story! I knew the happiness couldn't last and boy did it all go wrong when it went wrong...but I do actually like that everyone's so flawed, it adds interest and an element of realism. I miss Addie and Albus moments now...either another massive fight or a massive make out session is needed (or both!) haha. My heart just broke when she broke down on the train, and when she fell off her broom, and especially when she made her announcement at the quidditch match to not immediate success (I say immediate in the hope that it may have later success :P). But the fact that you've made them so darn shippable is job well done. I also love a good dose of Scorose, although the virginity storyline was a bit...I don't know, odd. And that's not because I'm a prude. I just thought they would've fought about something different. Also, Addie and Fred...that was plain weird haha! But I see why that happened, poor Fred, so alone :( And as a random sidenote, I liked it when you snuck in song lyrics and a mean girls reference ;) Anyways, overall, many many chapters of awesomeness that have kept me reading and left me wanting more!!! :D So update soon and thanks for creating such a brilliant story :)

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