Reading Reviews From Member: patronus_charm
1,467 Reviews Found

Review #1, by patronus_charmMean: The One Where Lucy Eavesdrops

6th May 2015:
Hey Kayla! I have a gap in my exams so I couldnít help but read more of Mean :D

Haha, it was so funny listening them talking about girlfriend troubles and how to get them as you usually think itís just guys who have that discussion, but it was nice to see that Lucy was able to join in with this conversation too. Another thing I really liked was how accepting they were of her sexuality and just made jokes about it, as I wish there were more people who were just like that. :) Haha, the reaction to when that girl asked if Ben and Lucy were a couple was the best though and it really did make me laugh! ♥

Bahahah this line - ďName three people that arenít related to us,Ē Al said in exasperation.

I really liked this chapter was it was interesting to see more of the Potter/Weasley clan together as they all just have crazy personalities and they make me laugh a ton. I think Lilyís possible my favourite (other than Lucy of course) as sheís just got this rebel attitude I was brave enough to have and even though she can be annoying at times, itís quite a nice annoying as it makes me smile. Though I have a feeling my feelings regarding this will change at some point!

Ew, ew, ew to Cara and saying those things and poor, poor, poor Lucy for having to overhear them! Okay, even if Lucy did prefer to spend time with her family they didnít need to get so offended. Sometimes, I donít see my friends for the whole of the summer but they donít get angry with me, they just know I have anti-social tendencies. :P

Hahaha, that ending made me laugh a lot and I will have to admit that Iím not too surprised that Lucy ended up in that state! I canít wait to read on though as this chapter was great!


 Report Review

Review #2, by patronus_charmetc. etc. (and life goes on): A Kingdom For My Name

2nd May 2015:
Whoo new chapter ! :D

Ooh the first scene with Albus was interesting shall we say ;) It does make me wonder how their relationship will ever really function as Clemence is such a complicated character with the way sheís never truly sure of what she wants. It almost seems as if sheís quite insecure about the whole idea of being an in a relationship whereas Albus is much more up for it, so it will be interesting to see what the endgame is with these two.

One thing I noticed in the chapter was the increased use of italics and I thought it worked really well, like it added another layer to the chapter almost? I donít know, but I liked it!

Hahaha, Iíve forgotten how much I loved seeing all the girls in Hogwarts fight over which side they were on and who supported who. Itís just so funny to watch as they get so hysterical about everything, and you write all their emotions and reactions really well so itís just so funny to read! Hmm, Sandra is an interesting one to watch as I think sheís got no limits when it comes to this kind of stuff so it will be interesting to see what she gets up to in later chapters!

Whoo a sort of cameo from Rita! That letter was just so her and it was so funny to see the way she sees an opportunity in everything! I really wish we could meet her in the story as thatís bound to be hilarious, especially if she tries to gain publicity from the whole Clemence/Albus thing!

Ooh, wow, I didnít realise we were so close to the end but Iím excited to see how this winds up as this has been a really funny and excellent read, and donít worry about the gap in the updates life has that annoying tendency to take priority over fanfiction. :P ♥


Author's Response: KIANA! ♥

I was wondering about what kind of reaction I'd receive coming back with a scene like that ;) Wouldn't have been as in your face if I didn't have a year long hiatus before that, but that's on me. I'm like that ghost baroness, tittering behind a fan.

I think you're definitely right that Albus is much more up for the relationship than Clemence. And why not? He actively pursued her, while Clemence never really wanted this relationship; she more or less stumbles into it and doesn't care enough to try nor leave.


And the girls c: the fangirls are everything to me. Fangirl at heart forever.

♥ thank you so much for coming back and reading! ^__^ I'll try to make this next update soon.

 Report Review

Review #3, by patronus_charmJigsaw: Piece #11

1st May 2015:
Hey Sian! ♥

Okay, woah, that was dramatic! You wrote that scene so well though and I think thatís what made it so dramatic and kept the suspense going with the way your description kept on changing pace (Iím not sure if that makes sense but whatever :P) to match what was happening, and the way Dom jumped into action made it more suspenseful too. Another thing I liked was how Roxanne had a bit of crisis in the way she couldnít cope with seeing the body. I think itís only now that Iíve realised sheís quite a doubter as it only creeps up now and then but I hope she gets more confident as she really is fab!

I liked the brief description of Tinworth and how Louis still lives with his parents too as it was nice to build up the backstory more as it really helped me visualise what his life was like there. Poor Roxanne though, she must have been really bad if she had to leave like that and it makes me wonder if thereís something more to it or notÖ

Bahaha Louis made me laugh so much with the way he was asking about Jane and being an award winning broadcaster! I hope we get to see more of him as his humour and sort of big-headedness work really well together and balance out well too so itís not too much of anything if that makes sense.

Gah, Miranda, gah, I hate her so much. Sheís just so rude, mean, vile, horrible, everything really. I just canít stand her and if I was Roxy I would have challenged her to a duel as thatís what she deserves! Boo to Miranda again for trying to get her off the story with Andy when he was just trying to be nice and help her out. I do wonder if there is something deeper with this case with Rihannon and Roxyís going to solve it. That would be quite good revenge!

Oooh, another mystery with Jane! It might just be me being a conspiracy theorist but maybe all these things are linked together? Hmm, anyway this was a fab chapter and congrats on this passing 50,000 words! :D


 Report Review

Review #4, by patronus_charmMean: The One Where they Return to Classes

18th April 2015:
I thought Iíd try and squeeze another chapter in before going to bed as this is really addictive!

Aw, Lucy again is just so lovely and genuine and warm and kind and I donít see how she can be friends with Eleanor and Cara as they have this horrible, superficial quality about them which just pushes you away from them. I really like Ben, Carter and James though as theyíre just so funny and much more like Lucy so I can see why the four of them are good friends. Iím still on the fence about whether romance will develop between Lucy and either Ben or Carter, but I guess Iíll just have to read on and find out that way.

Well, Iíll take it as a good sign that Declan considers Lucy as Caraís friend because that means she hasnít been dismissed by them completely. Even though itís nice that Lucy and Declan were able to talk and Lucy was helping him out with Cara related issues, I have a feeling this is going to backfire and backfire in a big way, like Cara thinks Lucyís out to get Declan. I donít know why but to me Cara and Eleanor have this very paranoid nature about them.

Okay, I should have carried on reading before wondering whether romance was going to happen between Lucy and one of the guys, because if I had read on I would have discovered she was lesbian. And whoo, for all the diversity in this story Iím loving it ♥ But, back to the story, because all I can say about Declan is ew, ew, ew, as he seems like such a narrow-minded guy with the way he reacted to Lucy saying she was gay, and I have a feeling heís going to make this entire situation very uncomfortable.

Omg, Aalia is adorable ♥ Sheís just so cute and sweet and the way she already likes Lucy means sheís in my good books. She also has some of the best lines as sheís so true about how awkward it must be because youíre going to live with these people for 7 years so itís quite a big thing to deal with.

Whoo for even more diversity with James being bi! ♥ I donít think Iíve ever read him being bi before, so thatís another reason to get excited. Haha, I can just imagine James getting very poetic in his descriptions about Parker, and drunk James sounds like something you donít want to miss out on so I hope he appears again soon!

This was great! ♥


 Report Review

Review #5, by patronus_charmMean: The One with the Feast

18th April 2015:
Hey again Kayla!

Ooh, I really like the idea of people talking to different houses. Weíve already seen Lucy talk to Ravenclaws and Slytherins and itís so nice as they usually just tend to stick to their own house so this makes it much more interesting. Hahah, Zara made me laugh a lot and it does make me wonder what on earth Al did to her as she seemed very touchy about it. Ooh, and a quick note about Al but Iím already liking his characterisation as it seems as if James and Albus have swapped their stereotypical characteristics which is cool as it always makes it more interesting to read.

Okay, two things I really liked about the welcoming feast scene. One McGonagallís still there and being a babe and so whoo go her and it also made me crack up that they still called her Minnie. :P Secondly, the fact you tackled religious diversity too as itís never ever mentioned, but Britain in the 21st century is very multicultural so it makes sense there are Asians, Africans, Europeans, Muslims, Jews, Sikhs, etc. at Hogwarts so Iím glad you broached that subject. Aalia seemed like such a sweet and genuine girl too, and I really hope Lucy becomes friends with her as it will be interesting to see the topic of religion and magic explored more.

Quickly, ew to Eleanor and Cara they are not nice people at all! Hmm, I am interested to see why theyíre being so weird towards Lucy, as itís just not nice at all.

Oooh, itís sad to hear that news about McGonagall just after I was partying about her still being there as I guess it does make sense as she must be rather old now and she deserves to enjoy her retirement after everythingís sheís had to go through there. Haha, I loved how cheeky the Potter/Weasley children were towards her though, it really made me laugh.

I really love Lucyís character her and I think youíve done a great job at developing it. She just has this really warm character which just draws you in and you want to get her know more and more. Another thing I liked was that she didnít take herself too seriously and sheís able to have a joke a lot of the time as that makes it much more fun to read.

Great chapter and Iím intrigued to see how this develops! ♥


 Report Review

Review #6, by patronus_charmMean: The First One

17th April 2015:
Hey there Kayla!

Omg, I am in love with Audrey/Percy and itís one of my OTPs so I loved how you wrote them here as they really made me laugh. Percy was the serious parent as usual, not liking the fact that James had a bad influence over his daughter and wanting her to work hard and just focus on her NEWTs. Audrey was hilarious with the way she just couldnít control her emotions and this line - ďIíve been crying too! I need her with me so we can cry together!Ē really did make me crack up and I canít wait to see more of her.

In fact, I really love the whole family dynamic youíve built up as itís so interesting. I never usually see Lucy and James together so I really liked seeing the two of them here. Then the way Percyís still boring everyone with his endless talks was so funny, and poor Harry having to deal with that. Again, I liked how Lucy was comfortable with Harry too, as usually Percyís side of the family are a bit distant from the others so I liked seeing them closer here.

Okay, I know I should not be dissing my own house but those Ravenclaw guys were creepy and Iím definitely with Lucy on that front and would keep well away from them because ew. Aw, poor Lucy though, my heart broke for her when she realised her friends had done stuff without telling her, Iíve been in that situation before and itís always so horrible :( I really like Jamesí friends though as they seem nice and genuine and I canít wait to see how this story develops!


 Report Review

Review #7, by patronus_charmJigsaw: Piece #10

16th April 2015:
Hey Sian! ♥

Ooh, you really wrote the beginning section really well as I really could sense the excitement of The Prophet staff and I really wanted to join in with the buzz of energy and write stories for them too. :P Haha, Violet never fails to make me laugh, you just write her cold character really well and the Morning Dear really did make me laugh as it would be quite funny to see her meet Molly Weasley as I have a feeling she would have a few words to say about Violetís coldness.

Hmm, I donít trust Miranda at all. Sheís just got something very Rita Skeetery about her. I have a feeling she might use Daniel against Roxanne or just do something generally horrible against her. I think especially with the way she suggested re-working old information and suddenly wanting to work with Roxanne is whatís making me extra suspicious. Ah, I hope Roxanne doesnít end up doing anything she might regret. No!!! I should have carried on reading before saying that as I was right. Ah, Miranda is horrible, I bet she knew that would happen to Roxanne. Ah, I hope Roxanne manages to work on the story again as she really was doing a great job of it.

Aw, I really love Louis ♥ Thereís just something so kind and genuine about him and I just want to hug him every time he appears as he really does seem to boost Roxanneís spirits. I really like how you wrote Dom and Louis together too as I thought you got their sibling dynamic spot on, and I would not want to be on the wrong side of the two of them as I can imagine there would be quite formidable when together. :P

I really enjoyed reading the Quidditch match which isnít something I say all that often! You really caught the energy of the match and all the drama that went with it, especially at the end as the whole thing with Rhiannon Griffiths does some rather odd. I wonder if someone hexed or something like that?

Anyhow, that was a great chapter and I canít wait for the next! :D


 Report Review

Review #8, by patronus_charmA Single Point In Time: 1984

16th April 2015:
Hey there Laura!

Yay you wrote Narcissa! Sheís one of my favourite characters as sheís just so intriguing as we never know what sheís thinking and I thought that you captured that side to her really well, and yeah, I just loved the way you wrote her! ♥ I really liked how you showed her maternal at the beginning with the way she was holding Draco as itís a side that you often forget about her but itís so often the key to her character if that makes sense? Anyhow, she really does show her kind side when sheís with Draco so itís always cute to see that, especially the way she was putting him to bed, it was just cute! ♥

Ooh, I really liked how you explored the power structures of the wizarding society and how Lucius was always trying to get to the top of it. Heís so cunning courting all these foreign officials and it really shows how heís quite slimy because heíll do anything to ensure he has influence over things. You could almost sense that Narcissa was fed up with this charade of being the perfect family and having to impress everyone and that she just wanted to be with her family, and thatís a feeling I got from her throughout the whole book so yay for including it here.

It was interesting to see how much Harry Potter had stuck in Narcissaís mind, in a way it does make sense because of the similarities he had with Draco, but I donít often think of Narcissa having such strong views and opinions of things, so it was nice to see that here. It almost felt as if she was jealous of Harry because he had already achieved so much whereas Draco hadnít.

This was probably one of my favourite stories so far and I canít wait to read more! :D


(oooh, also, thank you for the shout-out! ♥)

Author's Response: Yay! Hey Kiana!

I'm so glad you liked Narcissa here as I really enjoyed writing her, even if she's super sarky and mean here. It was somewhat liberating haha! I think she's interesting because she does still have a maternal side to her, even if she does resent it. It was fun to explore that.

I'm glad the comparison between Harry and Draco worked, as I think it was an element that I wasn't quite clear enough with and it might be seen as quite tenuous. But thank you thank you for your really lovely review - I'm so excited to get started on the next one! :D

Laura xxx ♥

 Report Review

Review #9, by patronus_charmUnexploded Bombs: The Question

16th April 2015:
Hey Vicki, sorry it took me a while to review this!

Oooh this is such an intriguing story! I always love it when stories catch up with Harry and Dudley later on in life as I would like to think that they could have been sort of friends, so Iím glad to see that this was sort of the case. Itís just quite touching that they were able to get over what happened and managed to go to each otherís weddings and Dudley came to him now in a time of need. Gah, it just makes me so happy when people make up! ♥

I have to say in terms of your characterisation of both Dudley and Harry I thought it was excellent as you noted how they would have changed over time and took that into account when writing them. I think Dudley was my favourite here, as the nice glimmers we saw of him in the DH came through here with the way he drove to find Harry and waited and waited for him to come out. I also liked the maturity of his character and how he was old enough to recognise that his dad wasnít wholly good and there were reasons for why Harry didnít like him.

The letter by Vernon was typical of him and I guess there was never going to be any hope that he would change his character. I did like how you included all his mannerisms into the letter such as moaning about the garden and the business, as you really made his character shine through in that. Hmm, it is very intriguing about whatís gone on in Harryís bedroom, I canít quite imagine what it could be but it does sound very interesting nevertheless.

This chapter has really caught my interest, so when I have time Iíll come back for the next! :)


Author's Response: Hi, Kiana. No need to say sorry; overnight is quite fast enough! I'm so glad to know that you thought the characterization was good, because perhaps it is always a little risky to know how much your characters have changed over time, especially in an emotionally charged relationship such as the one between Harry and the Dursleys.

When I wrote Vernon's letter, I was not consciously thinking about what he was probably like, at the end of his life; I just wrote what seemed natural to me, and I guess my unconscious told me that he would never change his opinions, unlike Dudley, who was young enough to learn, grow and change.

By now I hope you have read chapter two, so that you know what was in Harry's bedroom. The story is partly action and partly reflective, a description of how I hope things did turn out between them.

Thank you so much for doing this review swap with me.


 Report Review

Review #10, by patronus_charmBlackwater Side: Blackwater Side

15th April 2015:
Hey there!

I really liked how you built up the Auror world if that makes sense. The idea of them having a Quidditch team is a perfect one as I canít imagine Harry or Ron wanting to give it up all that easily, and I almost wish there was a spin-off of that as I can imagine it would be pretty funny. I like how seriously they took it too as that was funny. Plus, the general banter with the other Auror wizards was written really well too so yay for that.

You wrote Ron and Harry really well as we could see that they had grown and matured since their time at Hogwarts, yet their friendship was still the same in a way and I really liked that. Haha, the fact Ronís still being a very over-protective older brother made me laugh a lot as I can imagine heíll always be like that even when theyíre in the 80s and very old. :P

I really liked how you merged the song lyrics in so itís an actual person singing them as Iíve never seen that done before and I have to say it was very original and really helped with the transition from the lyrics to the story so yay for that.

The last paragraph was really touching to see how much Ginny meant to Harry and all they had been through together. My only suggestion with that is that you break it up into 2-3 smaller paragraphs as itís just quite a big chunk of writing at the moment which is a little daunting and hard to read, so if you broke it up it would be much easier to read and the reader would get a better feel for what Harry and Ginny had been through :)

Great one-shot!:D


Author's Response: Thank you, Kiana for your suggestion. Actually, two beta readers helped me with this but the opinions from readers are always welcomed.

I'm really glad to hear you enjoyed this. I like Ron with Harry, like their working as Aurors, and Quidditch.

It's easier for me to think of magical adventure than to write romance, so writing this one-shot was a bit of challenge. Without reading HappyMollyWeasley's story and the songfic challenge by BookDinosaur, I didn't write this. Yours was awesome, too. I'm lucky to have you as a fellow who writes stories, plays Site-Wide quidditch.

 Report Review

Review #11, by patronus_charmBreathe: i. Consequence

15th April 2015:
Hey there! I was so glad you linked me to this as itís been aeons since I read a Remus/Sirius story and they used to be my guilty pleasure so Iím so glad I can read them again :D

I thought this was a really good prologue and again Iím happy about that as I donít often come across good ones as they ramble on too much whereas this one got to the point quickly and established the story and the main characters so yayay for that! I think the most important thing though was that it kept me reading and wah I have so many questions like has a Remus/Sirius moment already happened hence why Snape called him queer and was there something else which made James and Remus angry at Sirius or was it just the Whomping Willow stunt? I hope theyíre answered soon.

I thought you wrote Sirius really well and kudos again for that as he is a rather tricky character to pin down. I think it was the way he was finding it so hard to find the correct words he needed in the letter. I always imagine him being a secret perfectionist when it comes to things like making it up with your friends, so Iím glad it went with my headcanon. Also, that stubbornness of his came through because even though he felt immensely guilty about the prank, it makes you wonder whether he regrets it completely, like he doesnít want to betray his prank if that makes sense? Either way, I thought you characterised him really well.

Also, I really liked the italics in the story. I know itís a minor part but I thought you did them really well and didnít over do them either so whooo for that. I am intrigued by this story though especially why Snape called Sirius queer, because it only suggests that Sirius has done certain things so I need answers. I canít wait to see how James responds too, as I hate it when the two of them arenít friends.

Great first chapter! :D


Author's Response: Hi Kiana! Thanks for the review!

I'm glad you thought that this worked well as a prologue and that I managed to characterize Sirius in a way that worked for you! You're right, he's very tricky to pin down.

I think that the next chapter answers a lot of questions, and hopefully you find that you understand what's going on better and your questions have been answered.

Thanks again for the great review!!


 Report Review

Review #12, by patronus_charmBruises: Terror

15th April 2015:
Hey there Kaitlin!

Ooh this was an interesting read both in terms of its subject matter and the fact it was so detached from the HP world as Iíve never really come across that many stories which do that so well done for doing so as I know it can sometimes be a little scary doing that.

I know itís probably different from everyone else as itís quite odd, but what struck me the most whilst reading this was your stylistic choices in the story and I thought they really added something to it. The little segments meant we really got to see how Caroline progressed over her time there which was interesting to observe. Then the use of Day whatever made it read like it was almost a medical experiment and Caroline was noting down the effects it had upon her. I thought that was quite cool as it tied in with the overall story really well.

I thought you wrote Caroline really well and you balanced the confusion, fear and desire for wanting the knowledge really well which I can imagine isnít the easiest thing to do. I think what really worked was how even though they would ask her these questions which were attempting to draw her out, she still refused to speak and would only shake her head or whatever, because those little movements conveyed so much in a really great way.

Ah those doctors were so creepy. I was not a fan of them in the slightest. I think it was the way you focused on their white coats which helped a lot as they always give off a scary doctor vibe to me and the way they spoke to Caroline was so patronising I really wanted to throw stuff at them as I really canít stand patronising people. :P

I liked how you incorporated the idea of her doing magic hence thatís why she ended up in there as I can see it would be quite a touchy thing for certain people. However, one thing I would have perhaps liked a little more is more cultural context if that makes sense? Like where exactly was this, and the year, I know itís quite hard to do as sheís meant to be suffering from amnesia, but I think it would help the reader orientate themselves a little more if that makes sense? I think if it was only a line or two that would be fine. :)

Overall, I really did like this story as it was such a powerful topic to write about and one rarely chosen so well done for that as you handled it really well. :)


Author's Response: Hi Kiana!

Thank you for swapping with me!

I'm so glad that you found my story interesting even though it was like you said quite a bit removed from the HP world. It was a little scary doing it, but I felt like it made sense within the confines of this story.

I was a bit worried about the segments in the beginning, thinking that they might get too redundant for the reader, but I'm glad it worked out okay.

Caroline seemed to come pretty naturally for me. For some reason, I never really had any question of who she would be or how she would react.

Doctors and white coats are absolutely creepy and your right about the patronization! It's infuriating.

Originally, I imagined this happening around 1950 in the deep south of the United States. I've traveled all through that area and even to this day have found very ultra religious families who hold these types of beliefs in regards to other subjects. I thought the magic issue being scary to someone from there would fit well. The only issue was trying to find a way to smoothly transition it in.

Thank you again for taking the time to read and review this! I appreciate your feedback!


 Report Review

Review #13, by patronus_charmCuriosity Is Not a Sin: An Encounter in the Library

15th April 2015:
Hey again Branwen!

Okay, this is getting interesting, very interesting indeed. So the whole Scorpius dilemma has been playing on Roseís mind more than usual and the whole starting in the mirror too. I canít wait to see her next confrontation with Scorpius, because I feel that since her chat with James a lotís been cleared up in Roseís mind, so it will be interesting to see if the dynamics between her and Scorpius have changed at all.

Hmm, Iím liking Noah a lot and it was nice that we finally got to see him rather than hearing about him through other people. He has just has a nice character and I like the fact heís studious, as I think we need more of those characters in FF instead of the token one in each story. :) Hmm, there did seem to be some interesting chemistry between him and Rose, and I have a feeling he doesnít know about Scorpius liking Rose as he just seemed too relaxed when speaking with her. Iíll keep a close eye on developments between the two of themÖ

Okay, wow, that was an interesting talk with Scorpius. So much tension, so many emotions and wah you wrote it so well and it kept me hooked throughout. I can see Scorpius is getting very antsy about the whole thing between Rose and Noah so maybe itís not just me whoís seen the chemistry between them, and adding the family dynamic does make it a little more awkward. I have a feeling heís getting suspicious with Rose and perhaps heís thinking she did overhear some of his and Albusí conversationÖ

Great chapter!


Author's Response: Hi, Kiana!

I'm glad you like Noah! He's a lot of fun to write, too, and he's a lot better at calling Scorpius on his nonsense than Albus is. (Probably because he's, you know, a Slytherin, and a little more calculating that poor Albus, who's kind of an innocent soul surrounded by lots of liars :P). I shouldn't say *too* much yet, but Rose does a little more eavesdropping in chapter 12 that makes Noah's position on the entire thing very clear. ;)

And yeah, Scorpius has definitely figured out that Rose probably overheard some of what he said to Albus. I feel so bad for him early on in this story - if it was me, I'd be so mortified I'd want to sink into the ground. :P

Thank you so much for the review!

 Report Review

Review #14, by patronus_charmCuriosity Is Not a Sin: Conversations with the Potter Boys

14th April 2015:
Hey there Branwen, wah this story is very addictive!

The start of this chapter was so awkward and I could really sense Roseís pain, just poor her because I donít even know how I would have been able to handle it. Having someone like you so much but then have them sort of hate you too, but you just hate them. Wow, this situation is confusing but I just hope that the hate turns to love soon. :P

Aw, James is so sweet and I love him! Itís so funny to see him and Rose together as they have this strange chemistry of almost being each otherís siblings and friends too. I guess strange is the wrong word, cool is probably better. Anyhow, this chapter was great as James had so many good one liners but I think is the one which cracked me up the most - ďThinking about you at night when heís all alone?Ē Ė poor Rose, itís just so weird!

ďHe has nice eyes, doesnít he?Ē Ė ooh, ooh, ooh, is all I can say about this line because perhaps times are changing and Rose is developing warm feelings for him. If she does just wah. Iím glad that James is quite accepting of this in a way because heís usually portrayed as having irrational prejudices so itís nice to see a change here. I canít help but wonder what Roxanneís reactionís going to be.

Hmm, the talk with Albus didnít go too well. I guess itís a bit early to expect Rose to say positive things about Scorpius, but the ominous warning at the end suggests itís going to take even longer. Hmm, this is getting exciting though and I canít wait to read more! :D


Author's Response: Hey, Kiana! I'm glad you're addicted - I really did have so much fun writing/editing it, and it's nice to know that people are, you know, enjoying it. :P

James is so much fun to write. He clearly takes after his namesakes in a lot of ways, but I definitely wanted to give him a serious and contemplative side, too. He's got depths that I think it's not always easy for people to see, but they're definitely there. Of course, he really does have to put things in fairly crass language sometimes - otherwise he wouldn't be James!

This is actually funny, because a scene I wrote for the sequel just the other day referenced the conversation between Rose and James in this chapter. (That scene was *weird.* It was between James and Scorpius. I just. How, guys? How?

Anyway. Yes, Scorpius really does have very nice eyes. I don't know if you know the football player Jesus Navas, but I think of Scorpius as having similar eyes to his, except a little more grey than green. (But oh, Rose.)

Thank you so much for the review! ♥

 Report Review

Review #15, by patronus_charmBetween the Lines: Any-way-what-how

14th April 2015:
Hey Beth!

I liked how you examined the negative effects of being so smart, because most people only show it as a good thing, but it was good that you gave it a balanced approach. It made me sad to see how she had to deal with it though as theyíre all so stupid and even though it was just name calling you could see how much it had hurt Minerva and how she had to fight back with all the Scottish pride that she had.

Aw, I really liked Amelia. She had this measured approach and how she always wanted to get justice in the world and that reminded me of how she was one of the few people who was kind to Harry. I found it quite funny that Minerva was actually in awe of someoneís magical abilities though, and I can see why they would get along because they can probably relate to how it feels to be more intelligent than the others. I can see this being a really cute ship!

Amelia-orate is such a cute nickname, it just seems to suggest someone very, very wise so itís very fitting for Amelia! Aw, these two are very cute so I hope moreís up soon!


Author's Response: Hi Kiana,

Thanks so much for this! Yeah, I thought Hogwarts would be a little difficult for Minerva, socially. I really, really wanted to write this pairing, so I had to give Amelia some serious talent as well. I also thought that Minerva would need a friend who was a bit on the silly side - to sort of balance her out.

I'm glad you like the nickname! It was the word that gave me the push to write the story!

Thanks again!

♥ Beth

 Report Review

Review #16, by patronus_charmFalling Out: Not About Love

13th April 2015:
I actually love Draco/Rose so much and I thought I was the only one to write a one-shot about them, so when I saw you had too I had to read this because there has to be more love for this pairing! ♥ And congrats on winning the Songfic challenge as I can see why after reading this :D

I have to quickly comment on the lyrics to the song because you presented them really nicely if that makes sense? :P I also thought they were so fitting for the overall story and added so much to it and I really enjoyed it :D

I really liked the little segments to the story because even though the actual story itself was very short once you took away the song lyrics, you built up such a strong story and I felt as if I really knew all the context to their relationship and the dynamic to it too, so that was really great and an impressive bit of writing!

Iím not sure quite how to describe the mood of the story Ė sombre, melancholy, bittersweet? Well, whatever it was I really loved it as it had this beautiful yet sad to it and that was really carried through in your description because you chose it very carefully and each bit of it had a purpose and meaning and showed a different aspect to Draco and Roseís relationship. I feel as if Iím not explaining it properly, but either way I loved it!

This was quite a sad portrayal of these two but a fitting one too. I suppose Draco would always find it hard to get over the Pureblood ideal of a woman if that makes sense hence why he had to mould Rose into his version of her, and she was the typical independent woman and fought against it. Even though I really, really love this pairing, in a way, Iím glad that it came to an end as you did a great job of showing how even though they had this almost toxic, passionate form of love, it wouldnít work as they were too different.

Great story! ♥


Author's Response: YOU!!! You are the one who wrote that amazing Rose/Draco story! I read it forever ago and LOVED it but couldn't find it again! That story was totally the inspiration for this :) I've been telling every reviewer that I read an amazing Rose/Draco and now I'll totally be putting in a shout-out in my A/N :)

The formatting on the lyrics was a weird necessity that I ended up really liking :P Like, because they're lyrics, the grammar is a bit odd ("The early cars already are" instead of "are already"), and I wanted to try and present the rhythm with the formatting. Then Crestwood suggested using the line "falling out" as a title and I realized that fit the way the lines kind of fall off the page!

Your comments about the mood make me really happy :) I wanted this whole story to really flow out of the song, rather than just have the lyrics enhance the text. That's also why it's so short--I tried to time it out so someone could listen to the song while reading and it would take about as long. This song has a really complex tone (beautiful, bittersweet, hopeful, exhausted, sad) and goes through a lot of key changes, and I wanted to mirror that here. It was weirdly fun to sort all that out :P

This was also partly inspired by JKR's recent comments about Draco/her distress over him being romanticized. I wanted to write a story that included Draco in a romantic situation that ALSO corresponded with her comments about him, if that makes sense? Like, I was SO stoked to see you'd written Draco/Rose, because it's such an inherently interesting pairing--it sort of harkens to Dramione or ScoRose in a weird way, but then also subverts it? Like, it would have all the interesting problems of either of those pairings, with the addition of a massive age-gap.

I also kept this short because I think this pairing could be interpreted a lot of different ways, so I thought if I left enough of it open that people might write their own!

Thank you SO much for the review, I'm SO happy to have found your story again!


 Report Review

Review #17, by patronus_charmCuriosity Is Not a Sin: Eavesdropping in the Corridor

10th April 2015:
Iím back again! :P

Hmm, this was a very intriguing chapter and I have to admit whilst I was reading I was trying to hold back my squees because I had all sorts of feels about Scorose and yeah, it was exciting as stuff is happening! ♥

You really have built up a great dynamic between the family because thereís Roxanne, Rose and James the sort of cool, joker crew who do what they please and they sort of remind me of the Marauders. Then thereís Scorpius who hates them but has the hots for one of them and is just generally a little bit conflicted and then thereís Albus whoís probably even more conflicted playing the peacemaker between them all and doing quite a funny job at it. :P

That talk though!! At first, I guessed what they were going to say the usual of course it was your cousin, who else hates me so much and that was quite funny to read because I canít wait to see the next time Scorpius tries to get Rose to admit to it. Then there was that revelation. Hmm, I didnít see that coming and in a way itís reminding me of the Marauders again but this time Scorpius as he doesnít want to admit to liking Rose as heís meant to be hating her but he canít help but do it.

Haha, I wish we could have seen what that summer was like as it does sound very funny and poor Albus having to deal with Scorpius just staring at his cousin. :P I wonder how this will change Roseís opinion of Scorpius? I have a feeling sheís going to play with this advantage and maybe make his life hell, but hmm, weíll see!

Great chapter! :D


Author's Response: I actually have vague plans to write a couple of the missing scenes I allude to in my Scoroses - I have pieces of them first properly meeting each other's families written, which I'll probably start posting once I finish it, and I think a one-shot of Albus and Scorpius over the summer could be really entertaining, if I can find the time to do it. Albus and Scorpius *do* both talk about about it a little more throughout this story, though, so hopefully that's equally entertaining. They were both definitely understating the summer a little in this particular conversation!

There's definitely a little bit of a Marauders vibe to those three - I was worried that it would be overdone, but at the end of the day, I just felt like it wasn't necessarily a bad thing to have a bit of that dynamic, especially since I can't see those three *not* portraying it a little. :P

Thank you so much for the wonderful review! ♥

 Report Review

Review #18, by patronus_charmCuriosity Is Not a Sin: Plausible Deniability

10th April 2015:
Hey again Branwen!

So far, Iím really enjoying it when James and Rose are together as they get along really well and itís a change from how I usually see them as I never tend to seem creating plots together so Iím liking this. Also, yay, for making Roxanne a major character I feel as if sometimes people deliberately forget she exists and rarely ever appears in any next gen story, so well done for giving her some more love as she really does deserve it!

Hahaha, I really enjoyed Rose in this chapter as we could see her two parents in her so much. First there was Ron with the natural hate for Slytherins and the need to plot against them which made me laugh a lot. Then there was Hermione later as she cared about her schoolwork and though she loved Quidditch she didnít want to sacrifice it for that.

Haha, poor Scorpius having his blonde locks turned red. That will make him stop teasing Rose so much then. Though I have a feeling that he isnít going to take this lying down and will probably end up retaliating a little, so the next few chapters will certainly be interesting.

Great chapter again! ♥


Author's Response: Hey! Thank you so much for the nomination for SotM - I was so thrilled when I saw that. ♥

I'm glad you're enjoying James and Rose's dynamic - I definitely delve into that a lot in this story and the sequel, because while Rose is very close to Albus, there are certain things that James is just plain better at giving advice about, and I think that she often relies on his insight. Albus isn't sneaky enough to have the same kind of insight on a regular basis. :P

And yes! Roxanne gets left out so much. When I see her, she's often 1) portrayed by a white actress (which drives me nuts) and 2) just Rose/Dominique's sidekick with no real personality of her own. Come on, people, Roxanne deserves so much better than that! (Unfortunately, she doesn't feature much in the sequel, because her career is not really in line with those Rose/Albus/James pursue, but that just means I need to write a Roxanne centric fic at some point. ... there are lots of things I need to write, though.)

And oh yes - Scorpius is not going to take that kind of jinx lightly, though his retaliation doesn't necessarily go as even he intends it to. :P

Thank you for the review! ♥

 Report Review

Review #19, by patronus_charmRace Against Time : Chapter 1

9th April 2015:
Oooh, when I first read this I was like gimme more, gimme more as it just sounded so intriguing and then I saw it was longer and was like whoo, because you donít often get novels based in this era/on these characters, so I canít wait to see where this leads!

I felt so sorry for Emmeline! There she was, finally getting over what had happened and having a normal morning and bam her entire life changes. She actually reacted rather well to it because if it was me I would have gone for a full on panic and probably started screaming/crying/throwing stuff, so kudos to Emmeline. I really liked how you used italics to explain her reaction more though as that was really useful and added another element to the story.

Ooh, I love her owl! The name is cool and it already has a funny character and I know I should probably be commenting on more serious things, but I couldnít resist leaving this.

Iím really glad that sheís still friends with Remus because there have been so many cases when the Order just forget about each other after it disbands, but I think after going through something as emotional and scary as they did that just wouldnít happen, so Iím glad that you made them still be friends. I liked how you showed how he was now in life even though it was really sad but I guess heíll be meeting Tonks in a few years and it will all be going up from there.

Hmm, it will be interesting to see what they do after this as I canít imagine whatís going through their minds. I also canít help but wonder if this is Dumbledoreís reasoning for hiring Remus that year. Hmm, Iíll guess weíll see. Good start to the story!


 Report Review

Review #20, by patronus_charmCuriosity Is Not a Sin: Albus's Guilt Trip

9th April 2015:
Hey there Branwen!

Oooh, Iím already loving your Rose! I think it was just the way she was so determined about her beliefs about the Slytherins which is what made me laugh, because they seemed so rational to her, whereas everyone knows there will always be contradictions and there could be a Slytherin who hates plotting and planning. I think youíve got the mix of serious Hermione and stubborn Ron spot on here, and I canít wait to read more of her.

So thereís some family tensions with the pro-Slytherins on one side and the anti-Slytherins on the other. Hmm, I have a feeling that Rose will be changing her side soon. :P I really like how Albus is all open and trying to unite the other houses as I always imagined him to be a peace maker like that so itís cool that it matches up with my head canon. I also canít wait to see what Scorpius is like as I imagine he must be fairly nice for Albus to be friends with him.

Okay, Iím a fan of Scorpius! Firstly, he does like Neville itís just the subject he doesnít like which is a relief as I was worried it would be the other way around. Then secondly that cute bromance he has going on with Albus is adorable, and I almost wish they were ending up together rather than he and Rose. Also, the fact heís already given Rose a nickname! Iím just squeeing away right now and Iím already shipping these two so much even though itís only chapter one!

This was a great first chapter and hopefully I can come back for some more!


Author's Response: Yes, Rose will definitely be changing her side soon, as least a little. ;) You're right, she definitely oversimplifies things in a lot of ways - I kind of try to get at what it really means to be a Slytherin throughout CINAS (and the sequel, to a lesser extent) - I hope that's successful. To me, I actually think Rose *needs* someone who's more pragmatic and has a bit of an edge to them, because she'd trample all over someone who was really nice and come to jinxes/hexes quickly with someone who was more hot-headed and impulsive like her.

(Which isn't to say that Scorpius isn't at all nice - as you said, he's friends with Albus for a reason! But he's got a bit of an edge to him.)

I'm glad you like Scorpius! Yeah, he's perfectly fine with Neville, but he's *miserable* at Herbology, at least in comparison with everything else. I actually didn't really intend for there to be Albus/Scorpius undertones the first time I wrote this, but as I was editing/adding new scenes, I realized that there totally is a little chemistry there, which intrigues me a little. (But which I'm 96% certain I'm not going to develop into something more, at least in this universe. In another... Hmm.)

Thank you so much for your review! I'm glad you liked it so far! ♥

 Report Review

Review #21, by patronus_charmJigsaw: Piece #9

4th April 2015:
Hey Sian ♥ Iím so, so, so sorry for how long itís taken me to get here, so I hope this review makes up for it!

As I usually say in every review, I really love how much youíve developed the wizarding world so there are rival newspapers with different slants and different readers as it makes it so much more exciting, and echoes the Muggle world far much more. One thing that struck me was that both Roxanne and all the other journalists were trying to do the Aurors and Hit Wizards jobs of solving the crime. It makes me wonder that if they had combined forces, they would have been able to solve crimes much more easily, because journalists can get facts out of people like no else can. :P

Anyhow, I did love seeing Roxanne trying to solve the crime as there are so many different elements to it and you managed to include them all from interviewing sources, getting into the psychological of the killer and trying to trace the victimís backstory. Itís just all so intriguing and youíre doing a really great job of keeping up the mystery and tension of it all!

Oooh so she met Daniel! I loved her thoughts beforehand with the whole date vs. just friends thing because it added a nice comedic to the story, and you are really good at slipping them in now and then because the story does benefit from the odd bit of light relief now and then. Haha, yes, I am right about my theory of journalists and hit wizards joining forces because even Danielís been reading the articles about the murders so to gain extra information it seems.

Wow that was turn of events, because it seems as if Danielís ready to move their relationship on with moving back into the flat, and it will be interesting to see if the dynamic of their relationship changes after he does that. But ooh I did sense a lot of tension when Paul Jordan came in and if I hadnít felt so bad for Roxanne, I would have probably ended up laughing because that was possibly the worst thing which could have happened.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, a body has been found! I really hope this gives Roxy her big break as she really does deserve it as life for her hasnít been all that great recently. Great chapter, Sian, and I canít wait for the next :D


 Report Review

Review #22, by patronus_charmTurning Page: Misguided Ghosts

4th April 2015:
Hey there!

I really enjoyed the first section as it revealed a lot about Dracoís current state of affairs. Astoriaís impact on him is beginning to be revealed which is excited to say the least. Secondly, getting that insight into how the Ministry functions is another interesting aspect of the story I enjoyed a lot. Thirdly, it did make me feel sorry for Narcissa as I always have liked her and believed she never really went along with the Pureblood stuff and the impact of her lack of social life is really shown here.

Hmm, Perry, Astoriaís father is interesting I must say. I quite liked the idea of the family connection as it does give even more reason for him and Astoria to get together. It was also quite nice to see that even though he was disappointed by Astoriaís chosen profession, he supported nonetheless which isnít always something which happens with pureblood families. However, I do have a strange feeling about him, like he isnít always what he seems and he may have a nasty side so weíll see about that.

I really loved the last scene with Astoria as it revealed a lot about her character as a generally warm and reflective person. She really does quite pondering about the world for someone of such a young age and I like that aspect of her as it makes her more interesting with all the different facets to her. Iím excited to see how her and Dracoís relationship develops now as youíve started it off so well!

Great chapter ♥


Author's Response: Hello again! :)

I'm really glad you enjoyed it! Haha it's exciting for me to write as well so I have to be careful not to get carried away! Yeah I want to explore how the Wizarding World views mental illness and that kind of ties the Ministry in with it too. Should be pretty interesting to write (and to read hopefully). Yeah I know what you mean, I kind of feel sorry for her too because while she was a snob she wasn't a terrible person or anything, she was kind of dragged into everything because of the people who surrounded her.

I find Perry interesting too. I'm still exploring his character and I'm really looking forward to writing more about him in later chapters. Maybe he has a nasty side, maybe he doesn't, who knows?! :P

Ah I'm so glad you enjoyed that scene! As I've probably said before, I've had this really clear idea of who Astoria is for a very long time now and I'm very fond of her so it means so much to know she's interesting to read about! That's great to hear, I'm looking forward to writing it!

Thanks so much for another awesome review! :D

 Report Review

Review #23, by patronus_charmStardust: Stardust

3rd April 2015:
Hey there Mallory! First of all, ofherogherg you wrote this ship! ♥ I adore it so much but there are never enough stories about the two of them so whoo for you adding to the collection!

Secondly, I agree that Lavender didnít die for two reasons. Firstly, JK never said she definitely did and her word is final in regards to deaths, and secondly writing post-war Lavender is really interesting and so much fun so she has to live.

Your description in this was all so goerfperg ♥ It was just so beautiful with all the analogies to space and the stars and it really blew me away. I thought this was really feeling for the pairing because I guess they are abstract in a way, and a little hard to understand at first because no romantic feelings between the two were suggested in the books, which is why the description you used was so fitting for the pair of them.

I adored this: ĎOf being a creator goddess in your own right, spawning children of stardust, with eyes like galaxies.í It was just so pretty!

Parvati was wonderful in this too because you could sense how much she loved Lavender and how much she was cheering her along for every step of the way and it really made my heart warm as it was just so adorable. I think another thing I liked about it was that you managed to show that Parvati had this accepting nature and no matter what happened to Lavender she would always be there for her and I really liked that aspect of it.

Ending it on I love you was really excellent as it sort of gave it a bam, and the way you included and made it feel like a side note in a good way mind, because her description already confirmed how much she felt for Lavender so this felt like it was just for clarity. It was almost lightened the story in a way too, and left the reader feeling positive and hopeful for the future.

Excellent story, Mallory! ♥


 Report Review

Review #24, by patronus_charmA Single Point In Time: 1983

23rd March 2015:
Woaaah, it took me a long time to get here! ♥

One thing I really loved in this chapter was how Sirius viewed Padfoot, as I always thought of them as one and being the same, whereas here it was almost as if there were two distinct beings so that was quite interesting to read. Another thing I liked was how tightly linked his sanity was with the dog, and it felt as if Sirius could never get over how glad he was of that.

The descriptions of Azkaban were so subtle but still there with the stone walls, the horror of it all and the dementors. You really merged those into his thoughts really well and how it had almost become normal to him, the horror of it was numb to him now.

Ah, I'm sorry this review is short, but time is lacking for me, I can't wait for the next chapter though! This was beautiful ♥


Author's Response: Ahh Kiana it has taken me forever to respond, too!

Thank you for stopping by to see how this story is getting on ♥ and thank you for the lovely review too! I'm still working on the next chapter (darn uni work) but hopefully it should be up mid-April when deadlines are out of the way.

Thank you so much and I'm so glad you liked this! Laura xxx

 Report Review

Review #25, by patronus_charmThe Awful Sound of Nothing: The Awful Sound of Nothing

19th March 2015:
Hey Olivia, reviewing for the HPFF Fundraiser challenge over at the forums!

Ooh, I really liked the fact you wrote a sequel to this as so much has changed in the past few years, it was interesting to see how they were now. Rudolphusí attitude to being back in Azkaban did make me laugh as it was almost as if he was saying here we go again, back to the same old drudgery of being in prison as the main issue was Bella rather than the prison itself.

I really liked finding out about their earlier relationship and how they both ended up being Death Eaters as it humanised them and made me understand them a little more than before. I did end up feeling so sorry for him because Bella only married him because Voldy didnít want her. Bahaha, sorry but it was the word seduce which got me giggling because itís so weird that someone would want to seduce Voldy, but anyhow I should probably get back to the review. It really does show how much he loved her though if he was willing to take her back even after she left him for Voldy.

That aspect was interesting too for another reason because it seemed as if Bella was marrying him so to preserve her reputation meaning she actually cared about things like that, as I didnít think she did. He really was feeling sorry for himself at the end of this though which made me chuckle because the worst thing in his life was that he might not get a blanket whereas he had done much worse himself.

Great story! :D


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>