What is happening to Peter? I like that you've made his quest for something 'more' a sort of animalistic urge (strange as that sounds, as it's coming in the form of a rat!). Is his downward spiral due to a woman - Luciana?
It's refreshing to see your Lily putting an end to James' incessant pestering, rather than just tolerating it fairly passively (even though his pestering sends her up the wall).
Can't wait 'til your next update :-)Author's Response: At first I dreaded writing Peter because a lot of stories have him as this stagnant character - you know, blindly following his friends around while the other Marauders take up most of the plot. But then I put myself in his shoes and was like, crap that must have sucked for him. I certainly wouldn't like people glossing over me all the time. My lips are sealed about Luciana though. You'll just have to wait and see ;)
As for Lily and James ... I'm glad you like 'evil' Lily. My first impression of her was that she was a raving be-hotch but I guess I would be too if some guy kept asking me out every second of every day. You'll learn more about her in the upcoming chapters!
Thanks for the review dear! Report Review
Ohmigod, Rose's situation just became that much more precarious - if Edie tells Blakeslee who really wrote the Wood article, her accepting the award will make it so much worse.
I'd like to think Edie would tell the truth, but I'm sort of hoping that something will get in the way - she's just lost her bartending job, and can't afford to lose her share of the profit if Blakeslee decides to let her go. Although... Edie could do with some revenge.
:-)Author's Response: Yeah, Edie kind of reacted before she could really think it through. (Weird, right? hehe) I'm spending a lot of time on the conversation between she and Blakeslee because I really want to get it right... it's kind of stressful, really! haha. But I'm so glad you like my story.
And yes, Edie really could do with some revenge. ;D Report Review
So I clicked on this one because of the summary - a mature account of the Marauder's final year at Hogwarts. There's so many Marauder's era fics out there which can be a bit light on detail and heavy on the teen-ish aspect.
I like that you seem to be fleshing out all of the marauders and their respective love interests. The scene with James and Lily discussing the Prefect's duties was fantastic (I have read a few fics where James just gallops in on a white horse and is awesome at being Head Boy.) Lily's digs at James were brilliant - the comment about leaving him with children (heh heh). And that you touched on the potential issue of Remus/James and the Head Boyship (love). I wonder if that will be cropping up?
I'm interested to see where you're going to be taking Peter - the comment about him being like Peter Campbell from Madman (love Madmen!) has me curious.
Ah, Sirius. He's one of my favourite characters and I love what you're doing with him.
(Your bell-bottoms, flower and jumpsuit references - Ah! I haven't actually read any Marauder- based fics that are authentically set in the 70s!)Author's Response: Yay for a review!!
Well as I said in the the third chapter, this fic was originally going to be MUCH darker - lots of severe substance abuse. I didn't want to change the plot because I felt it was a very authentic chain of events considering how wild the 1970s were. However, I wanted to comply with HPFF rules so I toned it down ... and I'm glad I did. I'll still get to flesh out the boys' characters the way I want to. And I'm glad you like the bell-bottom and jumpsuit references! I wanted this fic to mirror Mad Men in that respect - if it's authentic enough, sometimes the humor comes from the cultural differences. Man, sometimes I wish I was born in the 60s/70s, I'm more than obsessed with those decades :)
While this fic is mostly centered around romance, it's still going to be a drama ... a touch of adventure but mostly a drama. The boys' romances are going to change them forever (some for better, some for worse). And that's all I'm going to say! Don't want to ruin things.
Thanks again for the review!! Report Review
Teeheehee... poor, well-meaning Arthur trying to deal with six unruly children! The way you had Arthur tiptoeing around, trying not to shout at the children while they run amok, I thought was spot-on.
"Jabba buboka wabble fwog," Ron told his teddy bear seriously. Ha - did you have Ron saying some actual words here that he's just mangled, or was Ron winging it?
Arthur's surprise is cleaning - I can absolutely imagine Arthur enthusiastically announcing that cleaning would be a fantastic way for his children to spend the day.
Gosh, poor Arthur. Things are going from bad to worse! I thought Ron losing the teddy-bear would put an end to it but the Weasley boys clearly have a lot more mischief in them yet.
I think my favourite part of this is when Molly comes in and sets everything to rights - in a couple of paragraphs she's proved that she's a very capable woman. Arthur seems to have been running around like a (well-intentioned) headless chicken, but Molly's all business.
Ahh... the mayhem of the Weasley family :-)Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much for the sweet review! I had a lot of fun writing this one shot, especially Arthur's character, so I'm glad you enjoyed it! And the Weasley family are just awesome!
Courtney:) Report Review
Ollivander's loyalty to Harry is touching, and Bella's treatment of him in this first section is sad to say the least. Poor Ollivander, when he passes out muttering about Harry and his mother's eyes I did feel terrible for him.
I adore your description in this part - It had been so hot that Ollivander had abandoned his usual waistcoat and necktie, instead he was slumming it in his shirtsleeves . I do like Ollivander in his interaction with Lily, and his comment about the heat addling his brain.
Lily is just... cute in this. Her innocently pointing the wand at her father and then Ollivander's lecture at her to do only good was lovely. And his comment about her charm work (reminds me of Slughorn's comments and the fishbowl Lily enchanted).
ERMAGHERD I can't believe you just brought James in! All of the happy! Ha - Awful first impression!
What you've done with this is great and I can't believe this fic hasn't gotten more attention. I eagerly await your next update :-)Author's Response: Thanks so much for your kind reviews, they really mean a lot. I am not very good at updating promptly but I'll do my best. Report Review
I like the history of the war that you're adding in - that the Death Eaters required disposable wands, and that the 'good' side had been deprived of his skill.
I can easily imagine Ollivander having such professional pride that he wouldn't make a bad wand, even knowing what the wands are being used for. This is the man who can remember every wand, after all.
I'm so enjoying all the wandlore you've put in here - you've clearly done a lot of research and put a lot of thought into it. Your characterisation of Bella is, I think, spot on. Her dialogue is just-that-right mix of babyish/horror. I love that she's not just going for the physical torment, she's also in for the psychological battering.
Bellatrix as a child was great - she's appropriately polite but there's still something strange about her (I think it's that she is so polite and because you've specifically mentioned the Slytherin colours).
Such an inversion to hear Walburga say that Bella will choose the wand, not the wand her!
Bella's tiny rebellion after Voldemort's said not to harm Ollivander was chilling - "I will tell them you tried to run."Author's Response: Thanks again, I really appreciate the praise you're giving here. I really enjoy writing Bellatrix, she is as much a delight to write as she is evil. Report Review
Ollivander crawling across the floor to Peter and refusing to stop telling his tale was just so... pathetic and sad, like he's been locked up so long with only himself for company that he will cling onto any breathing thing that comes through the door.
It's so strange to think of Peter as a scared little boy needing mothering. And his mother seems very loving, maybe to the point of over-mothering, but I may be mixing that up with her concern for her distressed child and the memory of her husband. And oh gosh, his father was killed by Death Eaters? Nice touch.
It's interesting that Peter's wand didn't shoot out sparks or make an obvious sign when it chose him, but that it calmed him. This bit - the nervous boy who seemed scared of his own shadow and even more scared of the notion of growing up to become a wizard and the man before him, his emotions out of control, unable to get an unarmed old man to do what he was told. - I loved it. It just sums up what a pitiful creature Peter has become (what Voldemort's turned him into) but I can still feel sympathy for him as that scared little boy.Author's Response: I have never liked representations of Peter's mother that I have read as she has always been nasty - and that has been used as an excuse for Peter turning out the way he did. I always imagined her like she is in this chapter. Report Review
I really enjoyed this chapter.
You get right into the thick of it. I like how you've written the Death Eaters in and their wanton destruction. This bit here - Satisfied, he then shouted "Morsmordre!" releasing the Dark Mark into the night sky. - I think it was the inclusion of the Death Eater being 'satisfied', but it makes me think that the Death Eater is indeed proud of what they've done here, which I thought was a nice touch.
I loved Ollivander's grand understatement - "You could have knocked." Author's Response: Thanks! Its obviously a very different chapter from the rest, it was fun to write some action. I hope you like the rest Report Review
I'm so glad I clicked on this (who could honestly not click on a banner with a giant squid, I ask you!)
Frank the Giant Squid is hilarious. And Kenny the Sponge. Oh my gosh. That's just done me.
:DAuthor's Response: Hi!! I'm glad you clicked on it too :D Thanks for reviewing and finding my weird sense of humor somewhat funny :0) Report Review
This was a brilliant read! I love it when fics are based on older characters (not in Hogwarts).
Grace has really gone on a journey in this fic and grown and learnt something.
The James/Grace interaction was fantastic.
I loved it and thank you for the read :-)Author's Response: Huulllo badname! Thank you very much for your custom (that sounded a lot less weird in my head - sorry) and I've loved writing Gracie's journey and I'm so glad you liked reading it!
Thank you :) Report Review
Ahh, finished (for now).
I think you have a bit of a knack for humour. There's some ridiculously funny sections in here. Seamus watching through the pocket mirror while Edie did her lipstick brought tears to my eyes, I was laughing that hard.
Looking forward to your next update :-)Author's Response: WHOA! You read the whole thing! That is so... so... wow! I can't believe that you liked it so much. And I'm so glad you think it's funny; it's a bit like trying to do stand-up or tell a joke in front of a crowd, I think. Lots of potential to fall flat on your face, hehe. Thank you! Report Review
I've been buggering around in the recent updates for ages looking for something to read. So glad I found this!
The bit about Justin and the coffee killed me.
Cheers for this diamond and I'll just be popping on over to your next chaps :-)Author's Response: Woo! So excited to have a new reader on board! Thank you very much. :3 Report Review
I don't read much next gen, but I clicked on this one because I found the quote on your banner very funny.
I like that you've made Albus a bit nutty. I think Dumbledore and Al would get along famously :-)
I see your genre is humour, but you also have little touches of it that are entirely unexpected. This bit had me laughing out loud:
"Lemoning my toast?" He answered, shooting me a bewildered look from behind his glasses.
"And do you... do that often?"
I'm loving Ivy as the MC and I'm keen to read more :-)Author's Response: Thank you!! This review made me smile, and I agree on the dumbledore/albus friendship. I'm glad you decided to read this (: Report Review
I just loved this one. I saw it as a sort of exploration of Narcissa's honor v. love. Your writing was lovely and seeing Andromeda through Narcissa's eyes made me feel so desperately sad for her.
I particularly liked this section here - "Some people felt sympathy for her, they might even say that she had seen the light and redeemed herself at the end. They were fools." The haughty, slightly hostile way that she explains why the family broke from Voldemort - because she loves her son - seemed especially fitting.
I think you've realistically written how Narcissa and Andromeda could be brought back together. Narcissa has lost so many, but she still has her husband and son. As you go on, Narcissa slowly begins to see that her sister has no one left but her grandson. I get the feeling that Narcissa knew this before the funeral, but now that she is actually seeing it, it begins to affect her.
10/10! Report Review
Ah, Jack. I love this guy. He seems immediately to be a devilish, self-effacing character, revelling in all the the shouting and conflict that comes along with a protest - he's in fact grinning at it. Seems like he's not so much there for his rights, but because he sees it as a situation with all sorts of fun possibilities.
Your placards and the house-elf's button are hilarious.
When Jack started roaring and making a spectacle of himself I half expected your story to turn into something similar to the last scenes of 'The Cabin in the Woods', but I see he's winging it off to live (unlive?) another day.
I have thought about vampires in the HP world sort of offhandedly, but only along the lines that they exist. Now you put out the question, I'm not sure what they'd be like? Hopefully not old and boring.
Overall loved it, and I can't find any criticism :-)Author's Response: Wow, you picked up on Jack's insane streak pretty early on! I wasn't going to bring it in until later in the story, but looks like I just couldn't hold back :P
The way I imagined it was that, for now, he is actually more the serious, nerdy type. He gets an episode of the vampire shouts at the end due to pent up frustration. But the way I conceive him,Jack is an intelligent, reflective type...which means that you are correct to say that he wasn't really at the protest for the "right" reasons...he is simply too jaded to believe in something as trivial as a protest. And I tried to show through my descriptions of his surroundings how he prefers to see the ugly and unpleasant over the good in things.
Thank you for leaving this review, it has helped me see the story in a slightly different way and got me inspired to add a few things into later chapters that I would have otherwize not thought of :D Report Review
James is angry :o Loved your description here - "And that stupid puppy dog look in your eyes is only making me even angrier at you." Poor Sirius.
I'm wondering right along with Peter about what Remus is going to think of Sirius' actions, and how you're going to resolve the rift in Sirius and James' friendship. Poor Sirius again, because he is in an extremely awkward situation with having to share a dormitory with the both of them, one of who fervently wishes to give him a good punch.
I did find this one sentence beginning "Lily Evans watched the stairs leading to the dormitory..." a bit distracting, because it goes on for a bit too long and could maybe do with breaking up in your next edit.
Otherwise, I'm extremely glad that you haven't made Peter out to be an unlikable little sod because of what will happen in the future - because it would just be unrealistic for the rest of the Marauders to friends with him if he's acting like a cowardly, disloyal git!
:-)Author's Response: Oh yes, James is very angry. I do feel slightly sorry for Sirius although it made sense for him to try and use his puppy dog look to get sympathy.
Remus's reaction to everything will be in the next chapter, which I hope you read as well :D
Ah thank you for pointing that out :D I shall edit that.
I hate when people make out Peter to be unlikeable, I wanted to portray him as how I assumed James, Sirius and Remus would see him and why they were friends with him, so you liking it has made me really happy.
Thank you once again for reading and reviewing my story :D Report Review
Firstly, I love that you've gone straight into the action with this first chap - "James Potter was running as though his life depended on it." Yep, got my attention.
There's not a lot of speech in this first section, which I actually didn't mind because you've included so much of James' thoughts. I like way you've portrayed James and Sirius' friendship here, even though Sirius is not in this chapter. Putting aside James' thought that Sirius is responsible for the resulting shenanigans and all of his scrapes and bruises, he still "fixes his mistake", because that's what friends do. James describing a situation that could easily get someone killed as Sirius' "act of stupidity" seemed a little funny to me, because rather than condemn Sirius he has pulled out a massive understatement, which I can easily imagine is a language the two mischievous friends are fully conversant in.
I particularly liked this sentence - "This was meant to be a secret until Sirius started blabbing his mouth off to Severus Snape who was once again sticking his big nose into things that weren't his concern." - because it was the moment that I realised that you were writing about the time Sirius sent Snape down to the Shrieking Shack, and because it reminded me of Mr Moony's insult of Snape on the Marauder's Map :-)
There's just a couple of sentence structure things I noticed that could be fixed in your next edit. This one - "The Whomping Willow was aptly named as it hit anything that came anywhere near it with its long swinging branches, was planted in the school grounds when James had begun school." - may read better if you begin 'The Whomping Willow, aptly named...' etc and 'life's' in the second sentence would read better as 'lives'.
Just heading on over to your next chap :-)Author's Response: Thank you :D I'm glad that you liked that part, I was hoping that the sentence would capture people's attention so I'm happy that it worked.
Wow, I don't even know how to reply to this wonderful review haha. I'm so happy that you like James's reactions and think that he's behaving like a friend would.
I'm so excited that you picked up on that, I was worried that noone would but I'm so happy that you did :D
Thank you for pointing them out, I was going to go back and edit it over, I took a read of it the other day and made a note of what to change so I'll add those to my list :D
I'm so glad that you're enjoying this story and thank you so much for the wonderful review! Report Review
You've managed to portray Sirius as a mischievous little thing with just his actions and a few words in this first section. The thought of little Sirius "scurrying" about is adorable, as is his interest in investigating that hole in the wall.
I like how you've switched into Lexi's POV to show how the notes initiate. Leaving the leadup on Sirius' side of the wall to the readers imagination makes me wonder what sort of explorations the hole went under before Sirius decided to pop a note through. Imagine if Lexi had caught Sirius' buggy eye peering through :o
(There's one random "Laura" in under Sirius and Lexi's notes section.)
It was bit of a shock to go into the section where Sirius is crying, because in my headcanon he is not the crying sort and more into raging quietly, but then you reveal that he's around 13 at this point and has just lost his friend, the poor little bugger.
I think you've kept Sirius' reasons for continuing to correspond with Lexi appropriately childish and believable. Muggles must be clean because their ink doesn't blot - ahhh too cute.
I want to know what happens next! :-)Author's Response: Thank you for your review! This had me laughing all the way through, especially the second paragraph, so thanks for the entertainment too! ;)
Yes, I wanted to explain why Lexi would reply to Sirius instead of just ignoring the note. :)
(Aaargh! I found it; I'll fix it when I re-validate for a chapter update! It's there because I changed Laura's name to Lexi. Whoops)
Technically he's 12, but since his birthday's in November which is two months away, I'll let you off for that. ;)
HAHAHAHA! I re-read and re-read that prologue so much that I ended up not feeling anything for the funny bits and laughing at the angst, so I'm glad that you found some cheer in that prologue! XD
I'll do my best to update before the queue closure, but I can't make any promises! Thanks again! Report Review
Adventure-Obstacle team-building and the Banquet Committee! Teehee...
I was reading through this, generally amused, until coming to "I remembered that fiasco" and I lol'd. Unsure what it was in particular about that part *shrugs*
Anyways, I loved reading the sorting hat's antics and your well-meaning (spirited) OC.
Cheers for the read :-) Report Review
I feel sorry for Slytherin after reading this- I think they would certainly find themselves the scapegoats after the war. I can see how kids having lost friends and relatives at Hogwarts wouldn't be feeling too friendly toward them...
I love the idea of the sorting hat taking a hand in Slytherin's redemption. Makes me wonder what the hat would say in his welcome songs after the war :-) Report Review
I have never read this pairing before and clicked out of interest's sake. The murder mystery line you're taking has me wanting to read more :3Author's Response: I'm so glad you clicked, I've never read a male Dom either :) Hope to see you again soon! Report Review
It's depressing to think that Hermione's been living in this dysfunctional world for so many years - what was it that caused Draco to snap? Was it sudden or a slow, insidious change that crept up on her?
I'm interested to read on and see if or when this will be revealed (and I too love the Cassiopeia name!) :-)Author's Response: I will elaborate on her feelings of the marriage when I get a good idea. It is kind of depressing. Thanks for the review. Report Review
I've been looking for some more chaptered Sirius fics - I love this story already! Shall be reading on.Author's Response: Thank you! Glad you liked it! I'll try to update this soon! Right after my other WIP (: Report Review
Wow, I think your writing here was beautiful. It wasn't until you mentioned Albania that I got where this one was going (which I think was your intention?) and I enjoyed the slow unfolding of events.
Thanks for the read.Author's Response: Thank you ^^ Yeah, that's exactly what I was going for. I didn't want to make it clear until the end. I'm glad you liked it (:
Thanks for the review! Report Review
Hi there :-)
Just wanted to let you know that I found this chap. well written & easy to follow, and that I will certainly be reading on.
Cheers for the read. Report Review
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