Reading Reviews From Member: ScorpiusRose17
681 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ScorpiusRose17Damage Control: Choices, choices

10th October 2015:

First of all I want to apologize for the extremely long wait for me to read and review this. I am not someone who normally takes this long, but between real life and well more real life, things just got crazy.


I really liked this. I like that stories that are a bit different and not really "Ordinary". This one definitely fit that bill because it doesn't focus directly on known specific characters. They are there yes, but it is nice to read a strong OC.

I like the tone of the story. I thought you did a great job with the first person aspect. It can be tough to keep it all first person when you are trying to include others and details, but you did great. I think this also ties in well with your character Hero's tone of voice.

I like the characterization that you have here too. You present them in different ways, but I like to see how they will develop over time. It is hard to get a firm idea of a character based on one chapter, but what I see and have read, I like.

I think that the plot is very compelling. You have layed out a pretty good outline here and I am intrigued to find out what will happen next. It has me thinking about how the Potter boys are really going to turn out and how they will play against or with Hero. I agree... Lily seems a bit too good. I have a feeling that she is going to be the one to worry about compared to her brothers, but we shall see!

Again, I apologize for the delay in this. I hope this review has been helpful and worth the wait. I look forward to seeing where this goes!

Keep up the great work! :)


 Report Review

Review #2, by ScorpiusRose17The Kings and Queens of Hogwarts : A Duelling Master Class

1st October 2015:
Hi Katie!

So I saw that you were sort of having a rough day and I thought I would come by and read the latest chapter of Kings and Queens in order to cheer you up some. I also should let you know that this review is special because it is my 700th review! :)

I really enoyed this chapter. I like the dueling scenes mostly because anything can happen and everything goes. I loved seeing Remus get back at Evan for how he treated Doe at the Ball. I also thought you did a great job of injecting their personalities into the way they dueled like Sirius and James for example. Sirius just lazily does what he needs to do with results and James tries to be the gentlemen, but gets fed up when he gets cut. Peter struggles and what is funny about it is that you can see that progression and irony of how he's left to make a choice... accepted or not. He struggles with conflict and is always shielded by those around him, but the sneaky rat shows how he is capable of defending himself when he truly thinks he can.

I loved the descriptions of the duels and the way that I could easily picture everything in my mind without getting confused was spot on awesome!

I really am looking forward to seeing where this goes!

Keep up the brilliant work!!! :)


Author's Response: Hey Jenn!

You are such a sweetheart! Thank you so much for using this huge review on little old me! *blushing* and it really did cheer me up!

Duelling is brilliant fun to write for exactly that reason, a writer can take it anywhere and really shock people!

Yes! Go Remus!!

Thank you! I really tried hard to get their personalities in their dulling techniques, so I'm glad that you got that! :)

Ahh I hadn't actually thought about that with Peter but you're right! I'm working on his character a lot at the moment because he really is so deep and complex!

Ahh its brilliant that you could picture it all!

Than you so much for such a lovely review again!

Much love!

Katie :)

 Report Review

Review #3, by ScorpiusRose17Marry Me: I Knew I Loved you Before I Met you

30th September 2015:
Hi Tasha!!

I have been meaning to read and review this since you mentioned it and have had a crazy few days so please forgive me for being later than intended.

I really like how you connect Sirius and Remus. It seems odd to me that I have never read anything that may have connected them like this before with the amount of Marauder Era I read. It was great and original! That also goes for Snape and James. I almost felt like Lily because I was asking myself how they knew each other too.

I liked the way that you characterized all of them too. Snape is his believable snide self, but really allows his ugly side show in front of Lily, Lily is sort of stuck trying to wrap her mind around everything, James is awestruck, but not lost for making sure his thoughts are known even if he doesn't want them to be, Remus is calm and collected, and Sirius really rounds them out with his humor and clever remarks or thoughts.

I am really looking forward to seeing what else happens and their sorting!! One of my favorite things about Hogwarts is the sortings! :)

Keep up the great work!


 Report Review

Review #4, by ScorpiusRose17The Kings and Queens of Hogwarts : Careers Advice

30th September 2015:
Hi Katie!

I am here again with a review!!

I adored this chapter. I have always really liked all of the possibilities of jobs one could possess not to mention all of the uniqueness in personalities that you have going on here. You did a fabulous job with characterization that includes poor Professor McGonagall and Professor Dumbledore.

It had some sadder undertones to this chapter because while they are planning for these bright futures, little do they know that they are being recruited for something else. Something that is going to change their lives forever. Some not right away, but reading this and knowing the final outcome that all of them die... except Professor McGonagall... difficult! It gives that contrast of light and dark and each of the Professors represents one.

I like how you included McGonagall's notes throughout and Dumbledore's until the end. I have a feeling things are going to be picking up from here on out between life, the order, and the inevitable.

You're doing a super brilliant job with this!! :)


Author's Response: Hey Jenn!

Ahh I'm glad you like it because I was't too sure with the way I wrote it, but I'm so glad you thought it was good! :)

I do work hard on characterisaion, I think that's always important! :) and poor Minnie, she is a total babe though :)

I constantly try to add little reminders about that sort of things because ultimately, though this is a happy and funny story for the moment, we all know that there isn't a happy ending for anyone :(

They will be indeed! ;D

Thank you for another lovely review, they really keep me going! :D

Much Love,

Katie! :)

 Report Review

Review #5, by ScorpiusRose17The Kings and Queens of Hogwarts : Back to Marauder Normality

29th September 2015:
Hi Katie!!

I am here with a review!! :)

I don't know how you continue to amaze me with being able to make connections with your characters as much as you do, but I adore it. I could totally relate to Remus and how he disliked being in a room where people who had something going on could at least take something to help them where as he had to suffer... I know that feeling of despair from anywhere.

Ah and there is Lily catching on to something being up. I love how Doe plays coy with this and Mary... oh my goodness she is so silly sometimes. I especially liked Doe's line about her scaring her sometimes. :)

I loved the way that you described the transformation by the way too. I thought it was well thought out and that you took into account what we know from canon and put in what you think to make it work.

OMG!! What a smelly prank!! Hahahahaha and Peter... "no one's here... and I think it was Sirius or James who said "Well now they know we are" Excellent! I loved this! I hope he doesn't really jump. I know he is terrified of Lily at the moment and let's face it I would be too if I made her mad.

I really enjoyed this and I like how you wrote it to make it really give off the perspective of all of them in what they were doing/going.

Keep up the brilliant work! :)


Author's Response: Hey Jenn!

Awww that's so sweet! Thank you! :D It really means a lot to mean that you think that! :)

Yeah, Remus is a very complex person and my heart really does bleed for him because even though everyone dies to help him, they'll never know what's its truly like to be a werewolf. He must have been so so lonely! :(

Lily is going into inspector mode, and Mary is a spy :') Doe will have a hard time covering things up ;)

Ahh thank you! I wanted to really experiment with the transformation and almost distance the reader from it, by making it so matter of fact, so I hope you liked it and saw that? :')

Haha, it was such a random prank that I just had to add in :') Peter makes me die sometimes :') Don't worry he doesn't jump!

I'm glad you liked this chapter!! :D

Much love!

Katie :)

 Report Review

Review #6, by ScorpiusRose17The Gifts: Harry: The Gifts: Harry

27th September 2015:

I am finally here with your review! I am sorry it has taken me this long. Real life has been busy.

I thought this was a lovely snapshot of Harry's birthday. I liked the fact that they gave him an owl because of how near and dear Hedwig really was to him. I think all of us cried or felt some strong emotions when she died in Deathly Hallows.

I think if it was rushed at all, it would be when they arrive at the Burrow. I guess you could have included some more description like what were the other cousins Rose's age doing as they waited? I don't think they would sit patiently waiting, so a bit of description could have fleshed this out.

One other thing that I found odd, was that Rose had gone to Diagon Alley by herself to purchase the owl. I believe that her parents could trust her and that she would be mature enough to do this at 12, but I wonder if they would be so easy to let their guard down being who they are.

Those a just a couple of things to think about.

I really liked the Owl's name Iah and what it means. I also thought it was great that they blindfolded him before presenting the owl. You did a good job for your first story!! :)

Keep up the good work!


 Report Review

Review #7, by ScorpiusRose17The Kings and Queens of Hogwarts : Odds Socks and Baggy Jumpers

27th September 2015:
Hi Katie!

I am here again with another long awaited review for you!

I really liked this chapter. I thought it was nice and clever way to wrap up the loose ends between Doe and Remus that happened at the ball.

I like that he is filled with worry about how she will respond to his news, but I think her response really takes the cake here. Like I said in the previous chapter... she is such a genuinely good person that really sees things for what they truly are and not what they hide behind or from. I think it really does Remus some good to have someone round him out the way that she does.

I will admit I agreed with Remus about the toddler broom incident and that it was funny. Seriously, cats are some type of crazy ninja's that just want to cause mayhem and destruction and poor Doe fell victim to that.

She always knows more than she should, but she knows that it isn't hers to tell and that is an awesome quality to have!

I look forward to finding out what else is going to happen!! :)

Keep up the brilliant work!


Author's Response: Hey Jenn! :D

Ahh I'm glad you liked that! I thought I'd give them a little fluff filled chapter ;)

She really is the perfect person for him and is so genuinely kind, it's just what he needs!

Yeah that was pretty funny ;) I love cats though! They are crazy little things :')


I'm so glad that you really got this chapter! It was quite a hard write actually, but I'm glad it's all paid off and you like it! :D

Thank you for such a nice review! :D

Katie :)

 Report Review

Review #8, by ScorpiusRose17The Kings and Queens of Hogwarts : Life's a Ball!

27th September 2015:
Hi Katie!!

I am here with another review!! :)

Well what can I say... I LOVED this! It was just so wonderful and in parts not so wonderful!

I really didn't like Walburga, which I know was entirely the point, but I think you went above and beyond my expectations of her. One thing I think you could have added to this would be her equally awful husband to the mix, but it was perfectly repulsive without him too. I can still hear her taunting Sirius with "little black sheep" and cannot fathom having a parent like her at all. I wanted to rip her eyeballs out.

Speaking of ripping eyeballs out... I wanted to do the exact same thing with Evan Rosier... I was so mad at Mr. Potter, but understood that certain things have to be done for traditional purposes. I am just glad that he apologized to Doe and got her the heck out of there before any of it could become worse.

Rabastian was tricky to me. There is more to it then what meets the eye I'm sure, but like Marlene, I cannot pin point what exactly it is unless he is serving the purpose of distraction only.

I am curious as to what will, if anything happen between Mary and Regulus.

Lily and James were so close to finally kissing and what do you go and do... you enter Sirius, which by the way made me laugh...tons, and let the moment slip away, but instill it in their minds to come back to later.

Oh yes, I forgot to mention how much I liked the scene at the bar between Lucius, Snape, James, Sirius and Remus. It irks me that they seek the Marauders out for their hateful pleasure, but I loved how Sirius had the final word.

I said it before and I will say it again... I LOVE Doe and Remus, but I knew people would pick up on their relationship if they weren't careful. I thought it was wonderful for them to talk to Andromeda. I did find it a bit weird though as I was reading to think that Remus was talking to his future mother in-law. I just like how genuine Doe is as a character. She does care, she does have her heart in the right place.

You did a fabulous job with this and I am so excited that I finally have been able to read it! I wasn't disappointed by any means and it was well worth the build up.

Keep up the brilliant work! :)


Author's Response: Hey Jenn! :D

I'm SO glad you liked this chapter!! (it was after all, basically written for you :'))

Walburga is utter foul! But rediculusly fun the right :') I really picture her as Cate Blanchette in the new cinderella film, that's definitely my face claim for her! And I would love to add her husband in at some point! I'll have to think about his character a bit first :) She hardly counts as a parent really, she's just there :') she's done nothing to parent her children, only carry them in her, but other than that... pretty much nothing.

Evan Rosier is disgusting! Mr Potter didn't realise how bad it would be, but he saved her which is the important thing! :) But i don't think this will be the last we see of Evan...

Ahh Rabastan is yet another Slytherin enigma ;)

Hahahaha I loved writing the bit with Sirius interrupting! :') It is 10% something that undoubtable happened on more then one occasion :')

Aww I'm glad you like the Andromeda bit, yeah it is kinda weird isn't it? :') Doe loves Remus with all her heart and she is the most genuine caring person with everyone, she always wants to help! :)

Thank you sososososo much for such a lovely review!

Much Love!

Katie :)

 Report Review

Review #9, by ScorpiusRose17The Kings and Queens of Hogwarts : Getting All Dressed Up

27th September 2015:
Hi Katie!

I am again here with another review for you! :)

I loved this chapter!! I can feel the anticipation to the ball building up!

I loved the descriptions of all what a ball entails since we don't have these things, to my knowledge, in the states among the normal ever day people. They may have it with the richer people, but I don't know. Anyways, I thought it was great to see how each of them entered, did all of the "proper" things that they were expected to do. I was exhausted for them because I didn't really know what goes into one of these.

I loved the moment when the mom's all gave the girls something special. I am a sucker for traditional ritualistic things like these. I adore the sentimental side of it because it is so relatable.

The boys always get life so much easier! They can go ahead and lounge while the girls get plucked, prodded, hair pulled, sprayed down with hair spray, nails done... all that crazy that goes along with something special. Why is it always tougher for us?! Hahahaha :)

I also really loved how they included Cassie!

Poor Lily. If she didn't know that James liked her she really should by now with the way that everyone responded when he went around introducing her to his family. I really want Sirius and Marlene to just go with the feelings that they feel and stop teasing one another. They know they like each other, but it does fit their personalities being this way. If Doe and Remus aren't careful, their secret's going to slip... All I could think of was if one person catches the smouldering looks they were giving one another it would be easy to pick up on more being there then what they will let on. I feel bad for Peter and Mary. Mary is very patient. I wish Peter wasn't so awkward, but again that fits his personality. I hope he doesn't get to the second stage either... I would feel more bad for Mary then I would for Peter if he goes there.

I am really looking forward to the next chapter! It's BALL TIME!! :)

Keep up the brilliant work!


Author's Response: Hey Jenn!

I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter! It's really building up now ;)

We don't have them here either, apart from the highest people in society, but I did a lot of research to make sure that I took the right traditions and so on :) Being wealthy must be very tiring indeed :')

I love stuff like that too! It just makes everything so special and sentimental! :)

Tell me about it! Boys have to way too easy man! :')

Cassie is a little Princess so she had to be involved ;)

Lily felt very awkward in that situation haha :') I don't think she doubts that he likes her, I think she just doesn't understand why and the way he goes about trying to 'court' her pisses her off a lot :') Ahh they are bothe teases through! (Sirius and Marlene that is) They will forever tease each other, even if they were together they would :') Ahh their secret may be slipping sooner rather then later with For and Remus ;) Mary is VERY patient :') Bless little peter :') Tbh I think Mary is oblivious to just how much he likes her, she's very away with the fairies :')

It is ball time! :D

Than you for another great review! :D

Katie :)

 Report Review

Review #10, by ScorpiusRose17The Kings and Queens of Hogwarts : Oh I Wish it Could be Christmas Everyday!

26th September 2015:
Hi Katie!

I am here with another review for you!! I am sorry that things have come up and that I have had to put these on the back burner.

I don't really know where to begin! I loved it all so much!

I thought it was great having the other families attend Christmas with the Potters. Cassie was a scene stealer for me! So stinking cute she is! :)I really liked getting the chance to meet and read about the other family that they had. It really helped create this wonderful scene in my mind of family Christmases long gone in Real Life.

I felt bad that they were interrupted by an attack, but I guess when you consider what is going on outside of this sort of "Bubble" it makes perfect sense that hate never takes a vacation.

I thought the gifts were great! I adored what the girls got the boys and all I could do was laugh with Sirius... I could just picture him speeding out of the house like he had been given the keys to a candy shop... too funny! I definitely wasn't expecting that that would be the way he received his motorbike, but it was a great way to do it!

I loved the secret gifts exchanged between Doe and Remus... It was an adorable scene that truly made me happy and sad to read. I love seeing them so happy, but in the back of my mind I know that the inevitable outcome they will all face, but they will forever have those moments that not even death can steal away from them. Doe and Remus seem to live for the now and not the what could be. They are both very sensible in that sense.

Oh I truly hope this is the turning point for James and Lily with the sweet gift he leaves for her to find. She is kind of a difficult person to get along with or please it seems at times. I guess what they say is true about first impressions. It will either make or break, but I really hope Lily can see past it sooner rather than later.

I really want to see Marlene and Sirius together! They are just meant to be! Also, I like how Peter is exceedingly shy with Mary, but I am curiously thinking back to that walk she shared with Regulus and what could happy in this sort of triangle you've created in my mind with them. I guess I will have to wait and see!

I am really looking forward to reading about the ball!!

Keep up the brilliant work!! :)


Author's Response: Hey Jenn! :D

Who doesn't love Christmas ey?!

And I would love to have a huge family christmas like this! But unfortunately by family is all over the country :') And Cassie is blooming adorable! I think she might be my new favourite character!

Indeed hate never does! I added that bit in because I wanted it to be a reminder that in their bubble its lovely but actually in the real world, it's not

Ahh Sirius is adorable in the presents bit, he's such a little kid, but gets a grown up present, hahaha :')

Doe and Remus are so stinking adorable to write :') but you're right, we know there isn't a happy ending :( Remus will remember moments like that forever I think :)

Lily is definitely softening up to James as I'm sure you will see in the next few chapters! The necklace may have been a stroke of genius and a break through ;)

Marlene andsirius will be getting some more scene time don't worry ;) Did you like the mulled wine bit? It was a personal favourite of mine :')

Ahh the enigma that is Regulus Black indeed... what will happen? Who knows?

Thank you for another lovely review Jenn! :D

Katie :)

 Report Review

Review #11, by ScorpiusRose17The Kings and Queens of Hogwarts : Dresses, Underwear Shops and Old Friends.

24th September 2015:
Hi Katie!

I am finally here with a review! I am so sorry it has taken me this long to finally get around to doing this!

I liked this chapter very much! I liked seeing the girls and boys have special moments with Mr and Mrs Potter and the opportunity to feel pretty and handsome... it is almost a haunting scene of what was knowing what is coming later on. I feel happy, but sad reading this chapter all in a good way of course! You really have me picturing these young, happy, carefree kids being kids and not knowing how dramatically their lives are going to change in a matter of only a handful of years.

It is like when someone passes away and people say that remember them for who they were not what happened to them... it's that moment and this is how I want to remember them! So well done on making a vast contrast there.

I thought it was a fun idea to see the boys having to pick out the gifts for the girls and now I am completely excited and anxious to see what the girls got the boys!

Ah yes, the Order... there they all are standing in one house... Again... this is another one of those happy/sad moments, but for all the right reasons. I liked that this is how you introduced them. It feels like the right time at Christmas time.

I am very excited to see what is going to happen at the ball!!

Keep up the great work!


Author's Response: JEN! :D

Ahh I've missed you reviews, I'm so glad you could come and have another read! :)

Yeah, there has to be some happy moments! And it makes me glad that they will have these memories to look back on even in the darkest times, which they for sure will be doing later on! :)

Aww that's such a lovely way of thinking about it! And I'm glad that you thought about it like that, I can see exactly what you mean :)

They boys trying to pick out girls presents, its an interesting concept hahaha ;)

I'm gradually introducing the order throughout the story, so I hope you think its working? :')

Than you for the lovely review Jenn! :D

Katie :)

 Report Review

Review #12, by ScorpiusRose17What Are You Waiting For: What Are You Waiting For

23rd September 2015:
Hi Frankie!

So I loved Jarvey and since I saw there was a squeal I had to read it! :)

This was intense!

Like I said in the previous review... I don't normally read Scorbus, but now I am really thinking how wonderful this ship is!

They are polar opposites and when they meet they just connect on a level so wonderful that just works in ways that I never thought they could. It is truly inspiring!

I love the way you write! I almost feel like I am lost in the words that I read, eagerly reading as quickly as I can to find out what happens, but enjoying every word. It is just beautiful.

Keep up the superb writing!

I look forward to reading more of your work! :)


Author's Response: Jenn!

Lots of hugs to you :)

This one was a bit more intense. My song was love me like you do. And it sort of is a very intense song when you listen to it.

Your kindness has really brightened my day. I hope these little one shots brightened yours! I am thinking I should write another one of these because I like them so much, I just need some inspiration!

Thanks again,

 Report Review

Review #13, by ScorpiusRose17Jarvey: Jarvey

23rd September 2015:
Hi Frankie!!

I decided that since I am sad, I would come by and read and review some of your stories in order to cheer myself up!

It totally is working! I loved this! I don't normally read Scorbus, but this was awesome! I laughed probably more than was necessary, but it was just too funny! Klaus. :D

I liked how subtle their moment was; it really fit the moment. I thought you did an excellent job with description and really painting a great picture that wasn't hard to believe.

Keep up the great writing!! I look forward to reading more of you work!


Author's Response: Jenn,

You absolutely know how to make my night. I was so excited and humbled by your words that I had to read his review out to my Husb.

I am so sorry that you are sad, but I'm glad my story could bring a smile to your face :)

They are hilarious together and I wanted to write how they aren't always so easily thrown together. They don't click right away and it's not all lovey dovey. I hope I got that across!

Jarvey's are hilarious. You should read up on them in Fantastic Beasts.

But thank you for the kind review


 Report Review

Review #14, by ScorpiusRose17A Second Chance at Life: Chapter 2

23rd September 2015:
This was a wonderful chapter!

I really enjoyed getting to see Hermione visit Robbie and having him say her name... precious! I feel awful that he has gone through what he has, but I like the way that Eowyn explained that you have to keep demanding that he do what he can better then he did the day before. It is so true!

You took a very difficult subject and made it easy to read even though I did have tears in my eyes as I read along. I am happy for Hermione even though the road with Robbie won't be easy... love is love and you can't help who you love. I just hope that Ron is more than willing to give up what he doesn't know he's lost.

I love this story and I am truly looking forward to seeing what happens next between these two! Keep up the superb job!! :)


Author's Response: Thank you once again, Jenn. You'll be pleased to know that the next chapter is in validation and Chapter 4 is under way. Keep reading and reviewing please. It's a real tonic.

 Report Review

Review #15, by ScorpiusRose17Cho : Returning

23rd September 2015:

I saw on the Forums that you had posted something new, so I thought I would stop by and give it a read and a review! :)

I don't normally read a lot of stories about Cho unless she pops up as a minor character, so this was quite a nice change to see her front and center!

This was heartbreaking. I felt so bad for her because I don't think I have ever stopped to really think about how Cedric's death would have affected her. It had to be excruciating to be young and exploring what young love is especially when it is your first real relationship to have that taken away so easily in one night for such a meaningless way... yikes!

I thought you did a spectacular job of conveying the emotions that she felt when Cedric was alive and after he passed away. The characterization of Cho is well done as is Cedric's. I also really liked the way that you portrayed Professor Sprout. She never gets the spotlight either very much, but I had no problem seeing her respond this way or comfort Cho in the way she does. She has some fire to her too.

I did have a laugh out loud moment when Cho's thought she could hear her mother swoon... Even mom's are fan girls! Hahahahaha :)

Your description is wonderful by the way! I loved how you described subtle moments between the two of them.

Some constructive criticism would be this:
*Please note that these are only suggestions of things that I noticed while reading.

~She forced herself to moved forwards heading towards Platform 9 ¾.

* I think you may have meant for this to be move not moved.

~She saw Marietta pushing her way through a group of boisterous seven years throwing a Quaffle to each other.

*This is just missing the th after seven... seventh.

~“Come on lets get your things on the train! It's almost eleven!”

**This is where I felt a bit confused since it jumps from one moment to the next so quickly. I had to reread it because I couldn't figure out why Professor Sprout would be at the train station. I get it now, but it is a bit of an awkward transition here.

~Professor Sprout had planted a tree in the Hufflepuff courtyard, a stone placed at its base with a picture of Cedric and the words ‘In memory of Cedric Diggory. Hogwarts champion.” The two first years were standing by the tree, both of them looking down at the stone to read it. She paused behind them, waiting for them to move on.

~“Come on up you get.”

*This was a bit confusing. I think if you were to add the word now, it would help take some of the confusion out of the sentence. Example: Come on now, up you get.

~People her age went suppose to deal with pain like this,

*With this sentence it was a couple of things here that I think you could change for better flow. The word went and suppose... Example: People her age weren't supposed to deal with pain like this...

These are all just super minor things that I noticed while reading and don't take away from the great story you provided. These are just suggestions on what you could do or change in order to polish this up. It is totally up to you! :)

Keep up the great work!! I look forward to reading more of your writing!


Author's Response: Thanks for your lovely review.

I had to cringe at the stuffed you picked up on, such rookie mistakes lol. I shall correct it all as soon as I get access to my laptop. I did upload this story using my IPad and it got quite frustrating trying to get the layout correct.

I'm so glad you enjoyed it though. I was worried it was a but to much and that I wasn't conveying the emotions correctly.

Thanks once again and I promise to fix my errors ASAP.

Stacey Marie

 Report Review

Review #16, by ScorpiusRose17found wanting: v.

21st September 2015:

I am here with your review!

I feel like a complete dunderhead because I messed up the reviews and wrote part of chapter 5's review in chapter 4, so the part I left out of Chapter 4 will be included in Chapter 5. I hope that wasn't as confusing as it sounded when I was thinking it out. So please forgive me!

Chapter 4 is missing this: I really liked the way that you included subtle things. Like the boxing up of belongings that Mae was doing or even the mention of McGonagall making sure that the preventative measures for the staircases did their job.

Back to Chapter 5:

I LOVED the graduation ceremony! I think I was more excited about Mae getting to participate because McGonagall again made sure that no witch or wizard was left behind. I am sad that she is leaving and I had tears in my eyes when Emily and Teddy were giving their speeches. I don't often tear up, but it was truly moving especially when Teddy talked about his parents.

I love the group of friends and I could totally feel their excitement as they ran out of the Great Hall and into the rain. It was fun, spontaneous and wet. Hahahahaha. I am a complete sucker for all things sentimental so when you mentioned that they were originally supposed to take the boats back that they had taken in first year was something I loved. It was a minor detail that felt so right.

I thought the characterization was well done. Especially since you now have more characters coming along. Each one of them felt real and individual to me and didn't blend in a bunch and lose themselves.

The plot was there, but I don't know if I can say as strongly as the previous chapters. It isn't a bad thing. You added other things to it.

As for how you chose to write this... I think it's great. It really comes across as well planned even if you are just writing it as it comes and not thinking a ton about how this inter works with this and so on. It feels more natural as I read it.

Well I hope my reviews have been helpful. I have sure enjoyed this story and I look forward to reading and reviewing more of it! Keep up the great job!! :)


 Report Review

Review #17, by ScorpiusRose17found wanting: iv.

21st September 2015:
I LOVE this chapter!!

I really enjoyed getting to see the interaction between Holly and other people they went to school with that haven't made their appearance in the story until now except by just the mention of their names.

I liked the way that Professor Sprout talks to all of her graduates before they leave. I felt that it was a nice touch and fit her character well. I so could not say that for the others... well maybe Flitwick and McGonagall, but I would be questioning Slughorn.

Mae is quite the interesting character and I really enjoyed getting to meet her and seeing what her character is like. I really enjoyed her background information and how she has struggled to be who she is despite what other think. I thought that was a very fresh character trait and really look up to Mae for it. I just wish that the stuffy board of Governors would not be so stuffy and catch up with the times... maybe they will?

The characterization is great. As a I mentioned above for Mae and Professor Sprout. I also like getting to see more of who Holly is and what makes her tick. She is insanely uncomfortable with Joe. Holly just feels so real and relatable. It really helps being able to connect to the characters which you do a wonderful job of fleshing them out.

The plot is in full force here with a sort of side line memory thing going on which helps strengthen it. Again, you leave this open at the end to really draw in the readers which is nice because it makes me that more excited to find out what is going on.

Your description, which I didn't mention in my previous review was great in both chapters. You really have done a great job projecting what you see in your mind to words so the readers can picture it just like you have. Maybe with some minor variations.

I look forward to reading the next chapter!!

Keep up the great work! :)


 Report Review

Review #18, by ScorpiusRose17found wanting: iii.

21st September 2015:

I am here with another review for you! :)

Well this is tense... I am curious where this discomfort is coming from. I know that will probably be revealed in chapters to come, but I can feel the tension coming through the screen as I read.

I like that they are sort of challenging to one another. Holly seems really eager to have nothing to do with Liberty and vice versa. The characterization between the both of them is great. Holly seems like she is willing to move on and live. Where Liberty seems more likely to hold a grudge.

The plot is really building here and I like that you leave it open at the end to really draw in the attention of the readers. It's not too little or too much it is done just right.

You mentioned in your concerns that you were worried if this approach of just writing to see what happens works or not. It does. It makes the story seem so much more realistic. You're not over thinking it and you are easily letting the characters speak through you. Something a lot of people force and it doesn't come off well. This is the polar opposite of that and works really well through the three chapters I have read and reviewed.

I am really looking forward to seeing what happens next. I feel like there is so much more yet to be revealed and I am honestly quite excited to know more!! :)

Keep up the great writing!


 Report Review

Review #19, by ScorpiusRose17found wanting: ii.

21st September 2015:

I am here again with another review!

Liberty... She seems like quite the spite fire. I don't know if that is from her background and wanting to distance herself from it or if she is naturally just more feisty. It works, don't get me wrong. It is just nice to see a character with some character. :)

You did a fabulous job of characterization in this chapter. There are still questions about who and what is going on with Liberty which is great because it really leaves me wanting to find out what more could there be to the layers of person she seems to be. I can really understand her a bit better than Holly. Maybe that is because she has a longer opening chapter to her character than Holly has had yet. Her parents are really uptight. I would be just as upset as she is.

The plot is growing throughout this chapter and I am really eager to know more about why they are edgy about this reunion and what possibly could happen.

I really liked this chapter just as much as the first! I can already get a sense that there is some discord between Holly and Liberty here at the end and it has me really wondering what on earth could have caused this. They are cordial to one another, but then again most people who are acquaintances do.

Keep up the great work!! :)


 Report Review

Review #20, by ScorpiusRose17found wanting: i.

21st September 2015:

I am finally here with your review!

This is an interesting opening! I am curious to know what is going to happen at the reunion because lets face it, the magical world does everything better then the Real World does so this is bound to be completely epic! :)

I thought the characterization here is well done even though the chapter is shorter than the others. I am really able to get an idea of who Holly is or is being... if that makes sense. The plot is already present and leaves me wanting more.

I really enjoyed this opening chapter and I look forward to finding out what happens next. LOVE her name by the way! Quirky people are so much more fun! ;)

Keep up the great work!


 Report Review

Review #21, by ScorpiusRose17A Second Chance at Life: Chapter 1

18th September 2015:
Oh My Goodness how do you do this?! Seriously... I LOVED the story about Hermione and Robbie "beautiful when she smiles" so I am sure you can completely understand that I cried my eyes out when Robbie "dies" in that story and now to see him back and there be a chance for Hermione to finally have happiness with the guy she truly loves... EPIC!

I do like that Hermione is still on good terms with Ginny. I know she struggled for quite awhile and I feel bad for Ron, but he can be such a pain sometimes. I really like Robbie!

I am so eager to see where you go with this because you are so very wonderful at writing! :)

Keep up the great job and I look forward to the next chapter!!!


Author's Response: Thank you so much for your kind words. They are much appreciated. Chapter two is in validation as I write.
Thanks again.

 Report Review

Review #22, by ScorpiusRose17Tales of Malfoy: Grandmother

17th September 2015:

I have finally found some time to stop by and give this a read and a review like I'd been wanting to since you posted about it! :)

I really like this. It is interesting to me to see the inter workings of the Malfoy family. It plays well in contrast to life on how we remember certain things much better than we do others. Especially the things we remember when we're younger compared to as we age.

I really think that you do a fantastic job of setting your story up in this chapter and I am really eager to find out more. You've done the hook, line, and sinker here! :)

Keep up the good work and please let me know when Chapter 2 is added!!


Author's Response: Thank you :)

I've been having major writers insecurity but everyone on here has been giving me such good feedback and constructive reviews that I'm determined to carry on with this now. Hoping to do a bit of work on Chapter two today.

Thanks again


 Report Review

Review #23, by ScorpiusRose17Worthy: Rose

17th September 2015:
Hi Renee!

I am here again with another Challenge award review for you! :)

I was honestly unsure of this One-shot when I began reading it. I have read so many ScoRose stories my mind is almost always tainted with exactly what I like and doesn't sway much from that opinion, but with this I was pleasantly surprised. Surprised with the way you took Rose and made her different from what I picture and have read. You made her...Real.

A real girl with real issues and one that I think that all of us can relate to at some point in our lives. I don't think I have ever connected with a character as much as I did with your Rose because I know those feelings. I know those images. I've had this conversation before.

Scorpius bless him sees the true Rose for who she is on the inside instead of the Rose on the outside. He sees the beauty in her that she can't see herself. It is so real and raw and pure.

I have never connected with a character/s like I have right now. I am in awe... I am truly impressed. This story completely parallels with life for me in more ways than one.

Thank you for writing such an awesome story with my favorite pairing and for the ability to take and make this so very original, but with a very relatable subject.

Keep up the awesome work!! :)


P.S: I did see this spot here: "I had never met to cause him any kind of sorrow, and now here I was watching a tear sneak down his cheek."

I think you intended to use the word meant not met. :)

Author's Response: This is going to be a rather long response because I was really moved by your strong reaction to this story. Just a warning ;)

So, a few weeks ago, I was VERY close to removing this story from the archives. Literally the only thing that saved it was that some dear soul had favorited the story and so I left it up purely for their sake.

And then the next week I started getting reviews here, and while there haven't been many, they have all been so kind and positive and I was really pleased, but also baffled. I had always found this story embarrassing (which is why I hadn't requested a banner).

For the past few weeks I have been scratching my head trying to figure out why people like this story and why I was embarrassed by it. And I think I figured it out--

I was embarrassed because in this story I tell the truth about me, not just about Rose. I have been this person - I still am, a lot of the time. And I didn't want people to see that, so I hoped this could just live in anonymity, not being read but making my AP slightly less empty.

There's a quote, one of my all time favorites, from "The History Boys" by Alan Bennett: "The best moments in reading are when you come across something - a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things - which you had thought special and particular to you. Now here it is, set down by someone else, a person you have never met, someone even who is long dead. And it is as if a hand has come out and taken yours."

Even though I was the writer in this case, rather than the reader, I really feel I have had this experience through your review, and others.

So, yes, I am really flattered that you liked the story. The things you said about Rose's character were just so nice! But I am even more grateful and appreciative of your admission that you relate to this so deeply. It really helped me to read that.

Thanks to you and other reviewers, I have finally requested a banner.

Lots of love to you, Jenn, you beautiful and amazing person!
xoxo Renee

 Report Review

Review #24, by ScorpiusRose17The Clock: The Clock

17th September 2015:
Hi Renee!

I am finally here with your challenge award reviews! :)

I really liked this. It is quite dark and depressing, but I think it is great to be able to see how this was able to effect George since that was a huge part of their life being together him and Fred.

I really like how you took the phrase and really twisted it to make it feel real and relatable for anyone who reads it. It isn't always easy to take a phrase, quote or a couple of words and make them fit with your own original ideas and I thought you did a superb job!!

Keep up the great work! :)


Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! I agree it can be hard to write in response to a phrase like that. I had actually dropped out of the challenge, or at least I was considering it, because I couldn't come up with anything to write about except Voldemort, and I really didn't want to write that. And then I sat up in bed at 1:30 in the morning and wrote this story in the space of two hours. Weird how muses work, isn't it??

Thanks again for the review!
:hug: Renee

 Report Review

Review #25, by ScorpiusRose17My Ghost: My Ghost

17th September 2015:

I am finally here with your review! Sorry it has taken me a lot longer than normal to get to this. I had somethings come up in real life that needed my attention.

I really liked this. I thought you did a great job of characterizing Sirius. That longing need to be with James felt so real and pure. James' characterization is more subtle since he is more of the minor one in this One-shot, but I get the sense that he is honest with himself about his feelings.

The flow of this is well done. I don't see anything that slows it down between transitions of departure, flight and landing. The lines in parenthesis really help drive their shared love and remind me of someone whispering in the dark to the one that they love.

The pace is also well done. I didn't feel that this was too fast or too slow. I really like the descriptions too. They are subtle, but work well since this really feels like a more delicate story. I also think that it is coherent and clearly expresses the love they have shared.

You did a great job with this!

I look forward to reading more of your work! :)


Author's Response: Hello Jenn, thank you so much for your review.

This story's been up since before the queue closure, and I am so glad to finally have somebody review it!

This is my first time writing Marauders, so I am really glad to hear that you enjoyed my characterization of James and Sirius.

Whispering in a dark place is definitely a good visual for these two as I wrote them here.

Thanks so much!


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>