Reading Reviews From Member: potterfan310
  
566 Reviews Found

Review #26, by potterfan310Define Me: Options

28th July 2014:
HI,

I really love Lottie and Taylor, especially the dynamics between them. HA! I can't believe it was old Mr Jenkins who caught on to Taylor being pregnant.

I'm probably being stupid but what's an ATV? Is it an America term? Also Taylor says 'Lottie's mom' rather than mum.

I definitely one hundred per cent think Lottie is totally going to stick by Taylor through the whole pregnancy. Hopefully Taylor will take the option of living with her too, she's so lucky having a best friend like Lottie. She's certainly wise too, knowing that Taylor has to tell James since it's his kid too.

I am so glad that her boss is understanding at least and will let her have a job afterwards. Maybe he isn't such a meanie after all.

I'm guessing you're American? Forgive me if I'm wrong but in the UK you legally cannot drive at sixteen, you can start learning to drive at seventeen but most people don't pass until they're eighteen. Unless Lottie is 18 I would suggest changing it to make it seem more real.

Taylor is just brilliant! I love her character and now I know she's definitely a muggle I'm really intrigued as to what will happen because I'm guessing James will be going back to Hogwarts soon for his sixth or seventh year. I'm also excited for his reaction, providing Taylor does tell him and he doesn't find out the summer after when he comes back or something :p

Apart from the odd letter/mix up with a comma and full stop. I think my only CC might be to split the paragraph at the very start up into two smaller ones.
This sentence "He said he wants to make sure you still have all "yer limbs and things." I don't know, just please go out there. I feel like he's about to have a mental episode or something." Rather than using speech marks in the middle of her sentence just use a ' as it looks neater and doesn't differ from what she is actually saying, if that makes sense. And again when Taylor mention pregnancy as a 'good' thing, try sticking to speech marks for speech and use ' instead.

And that you change from writing the numbers out but then going back to numbers. E.g sixteen years old and 16-18 weeks. With that Gender scan are more between 18 and 20 weeks.

Hope that doesn't seem too harsh? But it's the little things which can make a big difference in a story. Looking forward to the next one!

-Potterfan310

Author's Response: Hi again! :)

I love writing Lottie and Taylor scenes! I try to make them realistic and yet still different so I'm glad you like them!

I liked the idea of Ole Mr. Jenkins learning first! I actually like him and plan to have him make some more appearances. I have some ideas that he'll play an important role to Taylor later on, but it's undecided.

Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot that wasn't a universal term. It's a four wheeler, if that's a term used universally. Oops, I missed the mom/mum thing. I try and make sure I use the English terms, but I miss things sometimes.

Lottie is a good friend and she genuinely cares about Taylor and wants to stick by her. Taylor's living arrangements are discussed after she tells her dad, which won't be much farther away.

Her boss isn't evil, we'll see more of him later on though and you'll be able to get a better feel for him.

I am American. I wasn't aware of those laws! Huh. Well, I had planned on Lottie being older, so I think her being 18 is fine. She was just going to be 17, but 18 works just as well and that solves that problem. :p

Thank you for the grammar help! I struggle with that. But I will definitely remember that for coming chapters!

You aren't being harsh at all, you're helping me! Thank you so much!

I'm glad you're liking the story! I promise it'll start picking up soon! James comes back in chapter four, and soon she will tell her father. So we will finally meet the dreaded dad!


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Review #27, by potterfan310Statue of Us: Autumn, 1978 (Part II)

18th July 2014:
Heyyy,

SIRIUS AND REMUS ARE MEETING IN SECRET :O le gasp! Hehe

So I think I just squealed rather loudly because OH MY GOD THEY KISSED! :O
"Sirius kissed him." - I think I just exploded with happiness. :D

How have I not lived without more Remus/Sirius in my life. Bless Sirius, but I sort of get why he left him there. But Remus dreams of him, awww.

Oh Sirius. I love seeing and reading about those who were also in the order because there is sort of a brief mention of them in the books. So adding them in marauders fics is always nice and I do really like Marlene McKinnon and I've shipped her with Sirius at one point. I honestly hope there is more Marlean/Dorcus as the story goes on!

HA! She knew straight away, I love it. He calls her Marly of course he does. I kind of hope there's gonna more of the two of them as well. Sirius has snogged James as well whilst drunk, I can't, I just can't. XD

Aww no, poor Remus. At least Sirius is there to confort him though. In more ways than one hopefully. I wanna hug Remus so bad, bless him. He's got a lot to deal with haven't he. As for his dad, hmm I'm not fussed on him. I just hope that he'll accept Remus if he ever tells him he's gay. I feel for Remus so bad, it's horrible being told that a close family member had past away when the day before they were fine. He needs all the hugs, especially ones from Sirius.

"The anti-werewolf legislator and his lycanthropic son." Kind of ironic, since the guy is practically called moon moon :p

Ha, Gilderoy Lockhart. Worse that Sirius, he could very be.

I have way too many favourite lines for this chapter. I adore the banter between them all even though they aren't all in this one, but Remus and Sirius are my favourite.

AH, THE END PARAGRAPHS! THEY KISSED AGAIN! :O I am so excited, I really hope they get together now properly, rather than just kissing.

Somehow if they tell James and Peter, I can honestly see the pair exchanging galleons due to having a bet on how long it would take them to get together or something.
They got caught, ha, ha.

Can't wait for the next one!
-Potterfan310

P.s Yes it was the codependency one!

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Review #28, by potterfan310Hormones: Not Alone

18th July 2014:
OH. MY. GOD!!!

FRYAN! ♥ I still don't think I'm over their moment at the ned of the last chapter because it was such a huge turning point for them!

THIS CHAPTER, OH MY GOD, *HEAVY BREATHING* IS THE BEST. IT'S SO INTENSE, THERE'S LIKE A HUNDRED THINGS HAPPENING BUT I STILL CAN'T GET OVER FRYAN! ♥

Urgh, I had a feeling it could have been Ollie. I used to like her a lot, but now not so much. She's evil! What the hell is her problem with Ryan? I AM IMPRESSED AT RYAN, SHE JUMPED A BAR WHILST FIVE TO SIX MONTHS PREGNANT AND MAN THAT MUST BE INCREDIBLY HARD!!

Andrew Parise HAS TO GO, HE IS UP TO NO GOOD WHISPERING IN OLLIE'S EAR, TRYING TO STEAL HER FROM JAMES.

James is always my favourite (after Freddie) ♥ Love how he's so worried about Freddie and where he's been, their relationship is fab!

I feel like yelling at James, you complete idiot for taking Ollie back after what she did. Urgh.

George will forever be my favourite because he is such an awesome parent!

If Ryan flirted with Scorpius, I think I would die laughing. The thought is so ridiculous but I kind of wish it would happen too.

OH MY GOD!! FRYAN ♥ AGAIN! THEY WENT AT IT AGAIN IN A CUPBOARD AND I AM DYING HERE BECAUSE FRYAN ♥ Technically they have a friends with benefits going on but they aren't technically friends but still, this information I cannot take it because they SO LOVE each other, or at least Fred loves Ryan and ASDFGHJKL ♥

Roxy is talking to Fred again! Yay, Happy days, I just hope she keeps it up. Scorpius trying to be okay with Freddie is too funny. Lets play golf, HA!

OH CRAP, WHAT? PARISE IS HITTING ON RYAN!?! She's pregnant for a start, I can't believe he said that to her face? Is he waiting to be punched to the moon and back? I love that Roxy sort of held him back but Parise deserves it for hitting on his girl. But at least Gemma got in with throwing the plate and Ryan kicked him, I bet that brought her some satisfaction.

Freddie's response to Parise about the Quidditch spot, that is some quick thinking! Gotta hand it to Freddie, aye. Zonko is almost as bad as Parise, urgh.

Freddie winked and Ryan winked back! ♥ They are perfect for one another I swear.

Every time there's a new chapter I get a new favourite chapter but this tops it all, especially with the ending of the last one ♥

Can't wait for the next one!

-Potterfan310
Soph :D

P.s I realise that is a lot of caps but I am extremely happy because Fryan feels.

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Review #29, by potterfan310Hotel Artemis: four

18th July 2014:
Hey!

I love this, so I was really glad to see it got updated :D

I still can't get over that Louis was going to propose! Or that he blurted it out to Jo whilst she was working. Drunk Louis is kind of brilliant.

Poor Jo having to take a drunken Mrs Barnwell to bed, but at least it wasn't a drunk Louis :p Their little chat was sweet, I think in more ways than one that Jo will warm to Mrs Barnwell as they a little similar in ways.

I love your descriptions of the hotel and the hotel itself because it's such a different concept to normal fics but I LOVE it!

Squee, I'm excited for Jo's date!

Can't wait for the next chapter :D

-Potterfan310

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Review #30, by potterfan310Expecting: Chapter 34: Breathing Easy

18th July 2014:
Hi!

It makes me so happy that they got together, since I've been waiting forever for them!! :D

I kind of get the feeling maybe, Becky was with Albus. Hmmm...

I love Rose, she's just brilliant. I can't believe she blurted it out to Sarah and James :p

Hugo is adorable! Him and Rose together are just perfect the way you've written them and I can see Hugo as to being like Ron a lot.

"Cheer up, chicks. I'm going to marry her and then I'm going to put a baby in her and then you'll both be fatties together!" James said happily," - THIS IS WHY I LOVE JAMES! HE IS SO FABULOUS AND I WANT HIM.

Normally when giving birth, your only two people in the delivery room with you, not four.

I'm so glad Ron has finally accepted it now. But I kind of wish Scorpius was there with her. I means he's an idiot, he wanted Rose at first and now he doesn't. I want to shake him and tell him to make up his mind!!

Can't wait for the next one!

-Potterfan310

Author's Response: Yes Rose has a tendency to just blurt things out as and when she can get a word in! I'm glad you like Hugo's character!

Oh James, what a dull world it would be without him.

I realise that there's only two people in the delivery room usually, but I wanted to imply Rose's special treatment due to her unique circumstances (i.e. being 17) and who really wants to say no to the daughter of the people who literally saved the world?! hahaha :)

Scorpius is an idiot, but he does care. It will become more and more obvious from this chapter on that his feelings for her are real.

Thanks as ever!

-Sarita x


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Review #31, by potterfan310Collision: November 10th 2029

13th July 2014:
Me again!

Again with the descriptions, like I am in love already! They are just beautiful and so visual!! :D

I adore unusual or less common names (mainly because my own is sooo common) but Neha's name is so pretty but how do you say it? Is is like Nia? :p

Ahh so she has a sister!! I'd love to hear more about her family, but I'm guessing that's probably in upcoming chapters. Haha I love Neha's jibe that Freya and James may spend a night being preoccupied, although I think me and my friends have the same sort of humour and love to whined one another up.

James is an utter cutie and he is so sweet and I need one of him! Maybe you can Albus if I can have James :p

Oooh I love that Lily's at a muggle university studying, so unusual but original and I LOVE IT.

BUT OH MY GOD, JAMES!! HE IS SERIOUSLY ADORABLE AND JUST PERFECT AND FREYA IS SO LUCKY TO BE HAVING COFFEE WITH HIM! But I definitely ship them already. They're banter is just perfect and I love how the mother inside of Freya wanted to tell him off for swearing.

I feel for Freya, because she's sort of in the same situation as Cassie from my story 'Love At St. Mungo's' because they both battle their inner demons about whether to tell James they've got a child! I kind of feel she should have just got on with it and told him, but her cover was so smooth :p I'm thinking maybe James might guess he's her son not nephew.

Noah is cute even if he was just a minor character, bless James for getting all embarrassed. I'm guessing he does know Freya is muggle or maybe he has his doubts, because of him lying but then again if someone said to me 'I play Quidditch' and I was not part of the fandom I'd think them insane. *Cough*Rugby's better*Cough*

Birthdays get sucky as you get older, so I kind of agree in one sense why he didn't want to celebrate, getting old is no fun. But I can imagine his family would be all crazy for birthdays and celebrations.

BUT MAN GET THEM TOGETHER ALREADY! ♥ I honestly don't think James will have a problem with Freya having a son but if he does, he better run away fast :p

Kind of sad now there isn't another chapter. Any who can't wait for the next update!! ♥

-Potterfan310
Soph x

P.s ABR Update may be a while but there shall be more Albus/Alyssa!

Author's Response: Howdy partner :p

Literally same on the name front. With a name like Jessica, you tend to resent the fact 50 other people in your classes also share the same name. That's why I usually stick with - not uncommon - just not WOW EVERYONE IS CALLED THIS names. I'm not sure how common Neha is in India (she is Indian, it's not really touched on yet but probably will be soon) but, to the best of my knowledge, it's pronounced nay-ha (though I say it like nia in my head so do what you like :p)

Freya's sister is going to feature in more ways than you can imagine!! I'm actually really excited about introducing her to the story because I can't wait to write those bits :D

JAMES IS THE CUTEST I KNOW. IT ACTUALLY PAINED ME TO WRITE HIM LIKE THIS BECAUSE I THINK I'M IN LOVE WITH HIM AND IS IT OKAY TO BE IN LOVE WITH YOUR OWN VERSION OF A CHARACTER? I don't think so... (gosh, I'm glad my friends don't know I write ff)

Alas, not to worry, the big 'I-have-a-son-reveal' is coming at the end of chapter 3/beginning of chapter 4 (coinciding with another big reveal!) -- I don't want to drag it out for too long. Mostly because James and Spencer are going to have such a bromance, even if there is like a 20 year age difference.

Thanks so much again and again for reading and reviewing!! Ily

xo


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Review #32, by potterfan310Collision: November 6th 2029

13th July 2014:
Hey!!

So I said I would review but then things got busy and then you said you were editing, so now I'm glad I have a chance! :D

ASDFGHJKL, You're descriptions are just perfect okay. Especially the starting few lines.

Spencer is adorable and I love his name since it's kind of unusual!

Aww bless Freya, I feel so bad for her. Especially when she said/thought that by the New Year they could be in cardboard box. It definitely can't be easy if she had him young (I'm assuming she was 17 or 18 maybe?) so she's a struggling young mum in her twenties. I take it her parents aren't around much either? or Spencer's dad?

Sean seems like a good guy, have he and Freya ever got it on in the past? I'm curious, lol.

Bobby pins!! I totally agree, I always lose them no matter what. I love Freya and her character and I think the fact that she is muggle, makes it a whole lot more original and interesting because there's always going to be the two world differences. I can't wait for James to try to explain everything to her (That's if her does) and her reaction.

I adore the shop, Freya works for and it's nice for a change to see such a different job.

I'm either taking it the opposite way, but oh my god Lily has a girlfriend!?! I never normally picture her as the one, more Lucy but me like :D I hope Freya gets to meet her at point, assuming James introduces her to the family.

I can't help wonder whether Freya has a bad past with men, because of what she said/though when she saw James in the shop. Guessing her dating history/Spencer's dad was not the nicest.

Bless James, he cute and gawky and just oh my god I want him.

I'm excited now to read the second and that there will be 13/14 chapters :D

-Potterfan310

P.S THANK YOU for the reviews on ABR :) I will reply asap.

Author's Response: Hey chika

Thanks for taking the time out to review! Aw, it means a lot. Also, no problem with the reviews for ABR, I hope you update it soon because WOAH!

I've not worked out the exact ageings but yeah, Freya was about 17/18 when she had Spencer, in her last year of college/sixth form. Nope her own parents are almost completely out of the picture (more on that later!) and so is Spencer's dad (again, more MAJOR PLOT on that one later :p).

Well, I'm glad you asked ;) Sean was originally Albus (as in I wrote him as Albus Potter but then changed my mind and switched his name) but I felt like I was intertwining James and Freya's lives too much. However, yes, there has been a drunken kiss or two between them before ;) a few years ago on new years, specifically.

Bobby pins are the bane of my existence!! I can NEVER find them. EVER. I have a special box for them and I still manage to lose them ALL! James is definitely going to explain some things to her VERY SOON, he has no choice in the end :p and when I say soon, I mean soon! As in the end of chapter 3/beginning of chapter 4 :O

It all sounds a little hokey in my head but I've always seen Lucy as not being heterosexual too! :O And my little head canons are also that Dom is pansexual and James bisexual (though he isn't actually bisexual in this). Lily's girlfriend is going to be introduced by chapter six in a rather big way :p it's actually going to be a surprising turn of events.

Wow oh my gosh I'm sooo glad you picked up on the fact Freya has had bad history with men!! I didn't want to outright say it because it's going to feature more heavily later but I've been leaving little hints in this chapter and the next indicating that she is a little wary about men because of her relationship with Spencer's dad (which wasn't good, to put it lightly).

If you find where they're selling any James Sirius Potters fill me in because I want one too!! Hehee

Thanks again for reading and reviewing! Also don't worry, no rush on replying on the ABR revies. You don't even have to respond at all if you want :P

xo


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Review #33, by potterfan310Event Three -- The Firework-Maker's Daughter: Legacy

11th July 2014:
Me again!

The way you've written each chapter has definitely got me hooked. Especially the second person POV. I like all three of them and how you did it not just from one person but the Fwooper, George and now Hugo. Who again is underloved compared to other Next-Gen kids so I like you put him in.

The bit about Hugo and Ron's tie, when he's wondering how he managed in his school days made me laugh.

And now I'm crying again :'( Poor Roxanne, not too mention George. I can't believe you killed him off, meanie :p Her looking at the photographs breaks my heart, I know the feeling of looking at pictures of those who have passed and wanted nothing more to ask them a certain question.

"When I was born, Dad was disappointed that I missed the New Year fireworks, so he set a bunch off inside St Mungo's. " - THIS LINE, IT GIVE ME ALL THE FEELS!! I love this idea and it has George written all over it, who else would think to do that. But of course Roxy was born on New Year's Eve (I'm assuming) perfect for the fireworks. ♥ Trust Ron though to think of trying to do it. But I'm not surprised Hermione said that, it's such a good judge and show of their characteristics which are spot on.

The fact that despite the age difference Hugo is there for Roxanne and it's adorable,especially the memory and their closeness. He's suddenly the older one in this chapter and I would say he definitely looks up to Roxanne. It's nice to see that Rose follows Ron in that snippet about them being unhelpful when it comes to emotional. We know where Ron stands, teaspoon anyone?

Aww the thought of George giving Fred a send off with fireworks make me teary (again!) but it's absolutely perfect and somehow I don't think George would have let his brother go without a having some sort of prank or firework at his funeral. Roxanne correcting herself in the shop, is heartbreaking to read. And those last lines finished it off perfectly, especially about George being her best friend and that Hugo despite knowing he won't fill those shoes will be there for her ♥

One teeny thing is that this didn't quite make sense? "They being in Uncle George's coffin and hymns"

I really hope that you might expand on these stories after the House Cup because they are beautiful and I'd love to read more of Roxanne! The way you used the three POV's to point out and show all of her best bits is just fab, especially considering none of them were her point of view.

House Cup Review 2014 - Gryffindor
-Potterfan310

P.s I'm curious as to what George died of?

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Review #34, by potterfan310Event Three -- The Firework-Maker's Daughter: Bonfire

11th July 2014:
Hi!

Again I really like the second person POV, it flows effortlessly like a river. I LOVE the idea of Roxanne adding the Instant Peruvian Darkness Powder to the fireworks, it's so creative.

Roxanne and George are so perfect and I adore the father-daughter bonding over their love of fireworks and explosive things. It's adorable! George is ultimately proud of her there's no denying it and of course you can tell he loves her. I definitely think their relationship is made stronger by their love of pranks and Weasley's Wizard Wheezes items.

Dom is one of my favourite characters and I love the idea of her being a rebel! I think maybe her and Roxanne deserve their own story :p so we can see all the mayhem they cause. I love the idea of them being best friends even though I always picture Roxanne as one of the younger children but I like it.

I actually panicked then, reading the second half. Is it any wonder George is in a panic and emotional hospitals are horrid places. George and Angelina, divorced? :O

Aww I feel so bad for Roxanne, and I am literally crying right now. She just wanted to good, to help them yet she got hurt. It was heartbreaking to read when George took all the fireworks our of his shop, what used to be his and his daughters love and has turned into pain and destruction for him.

Aww the end! ♥ These are not tears in my eyes, I swear. The ending is just perfect, she stood up to those bullies. I think George tell her she was beautiful was the last straw for me ♥

I adore this and I can't wait to read the third chapter. Roxanne is definitely headstrong and whilst she is a Ravenclaw I love how she's got that side to her which loves pranking. This chapter is so beautiful and probably my favourite.

House Cup Review 2014 - Gryffindor
-Potterfan310

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Review #35, by potterfan310Event Three -- The Firework-Maker's Daughter: Songbird

11th July 2014:
Hi!

I had no idea what a fwooper was until I looked it up but they sound amazing and now I may or may not want one :p

I've read two stories before in second person and I'm warming to them more and more. It too me a while to get that it's from the birds point of view, I was a tad confused at first but after reading that she bit the owners finger I got it :)

I LOVE the thoughts of the fwooper and you did them justice, considering it must of been hard what with him being a creature. Also the fact you chose Roxanne over the others is nice to see and read too, since she is generally underloved/written.

The poor Fwooper haven't been stolen from it's family and home to be put in a cage, is awful. And having to be a silencing charm on it, so mean :(

George and Angelina' characterisations are fabulous as is Freddie and Roxanne's. Especially Roxanne, she's as innocent as the child she is but she had definitely got traits off both her parents. Her stubbornness I like to think from Angelina and definitely her mischievousness and sneaking in to free the bird from George. She id definitely a strong character with her own mind!

The ending is beautiful and I love the interaction between Roxanne and the Fwooper because she flies away. The last line is perfect ♥

This is so unique and I love it! :D

House Cup Review 2014 - Gryffindor
-Potterfan310

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Review #36, by potterfan310Maternity Woes: Changing World

11th July 2014:
Hi!

Oooh I love Neville, he's one of my favourite characters and I am really glad you've wrote about him. Especially since we don't know for sure whether he and Hannah have children, but in my personal headcanon they do. So yay!

I adore the way you've characterised him! And I especially loved when he mentioned he had probably seen worse sights than childbirth in the war.

The fact his grandmother is still around makes me incredibly happy, because I always picture her there and living until she's over 100, I mean look at Dumbledore. The fact she is making him sit outside despite him being a grown man makes me laugh. I love that she still has authority over him even now.

Your descriptions are perfect! Especially those of when Neville is waiting outside the room. The little bit about Ron probably going to get food made me laugh, I love that bit and that Harry was there for him too. Their friendship really shows!

Your missed a comma here I think - "should have been between himself and Hannah(,) Neville put his head in his..."

I feel so bad for Neville, I mean he wants to be inside there with Hannah comforting her. Yet he's stuck outside waiting, pacing as well most likely. It's sweet that he's so worried about him being a parent such as what if he lost him or her. It definitely shows the Neville we knew from the books he didn't think he was brave enough.

Again your descriptions are crazily perfect! I can definitely see it all playing out in my head, especially Neville as he slipped down the door, landing on the floor. I like that you had Susan Bones there too, and that she was with Hannah when Neville couldn't be.

This one-shot is gorgeous and it made me tear up at the end because it was perfect! I'm definitely adding this to my favourites regardless of it being completed.

House Cup Review 2014 - Gryffindor
-Potterfan310

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Review #37, by potterfan310Define Me: How It All Began

10th July 2014:
Hi!

Me again.

I really like the start, especially with Mr Jenkins. I've seen a few posts on tumblr about an old man who continued going to the diner he and his wife went too, even though she had passed. It breaks my heart a little to see he's all alone after all those years, but at least he's found comfort in coming to the restaurant where Taylor works. Is a cafe or restaurant? As in the first chapter you said restaurant but in this cafe?

Ahh and so James arrives :D Of course he's with Fred! I adore those two as best friends as well as pranksters like their name sakes!!

I'm definitely curious about Taylor's background especially as in the summary it says James called her a muggle? Which brings me to the question is Taylor a witch or is she a muggle?

I like James so far! He's definitely a gentlemen offering to walk Taylor home, but he's definitely cocky which I also like

Few little mistakes, again with missing capital letters and mixing up a comma and full stop. Again looking over will help. Also this sentence: "He was a seventy two year old war vet." - It took me a few seconds to realise you meant war veteran, rather than a animal vet :p Maybe stick to using the full word to avoid confusion.

"I'm a might spot more comfortable than that log," he gestured to said log" - This didn't quite make sense?

I think that despite everything Taylor has a good head on her shoulders. I feel bad for her because she knows that she's in a crappy situation to bring a baby into.

Definitely adding this to my favourites and I'm looking forward tot he next one.

House Cup Review 2014 - Gryffindor

-Potterfan310
Soph

Author's Response: Hi again! Thank you once more for the lovely review, I love reading reviews and promise to always respond when I get the chance. (:

Mr. Jenkins is a fairly gruff man, but I surprisingly do like writing him and am considering him making a few more reappearances before the end of the story. I'd read something (perhaps on tumblr, I'm not sure) about basically the same thing, so I thought it would be a neat idea to have him in there. Oops, I didn't realize I had changed it. :p I think I want it to be a cafe, so I will fix chapter 1. Thank you for pointing that out to me.

Yes, James is here, accompanied by Fred! James will obviously be in a lot of the story, but I don't want to make Fred a stranger, he'll be there too. :)

Taylor's background gets explained more and more as the story goes on, I just didn't really want to bore anyone with a long biography about her past. Ha. And she is a muggle! I had never seen a pregnancy story with a muggle being the one who got pregnant and thought it would be different. I think it opens more doors as it's something different. And we know it does happen as children like Seamus will point out. Lol

I enjoy writing James a lot actually! So yay, I'm glad you liked him! I stick with the James stereotype of him being a little cocky, but he is a good guy. And I don't think Harry and Ginny would raise their boys not to be gentleman, so that's where my thinking on that came from.

Grammar is my biggest struggle. I apologize about the vet. issue, I will change that and use the full words now, I didn't think about how it could cause confusion, but I see it now.

I worded that very weirdly..lol I apologize

I think you're right about Taylor. She is a smart girl and she tries to do the right thing, and she is now indeed in a bad situation. She will struggle with the keeping it vs. adoption storyline later on. (I'll already eliminate the other option because if she did that there would be no story :p lol)

I'm so happy you're liking it and added it to your favorites! I look forward to your next review, I'll try to update as quickly as I can. :)


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Review #38, by potterfan310Define Me: Prologue: Positive

10th July 2014:
Hi!

I'm a complete sucker for pregnancy stories as well as James/OC and I'm exited to read this!

The flow of this is really good and her boss definitely seems like such an unsympathetic person. Somehow I don't think he's going to appreciate that Taylor got pregnant when she's like eight months a long and he needs her to work.

Taylor is definitely interesting so far and I cannot wait to find out more about her home life and family, because it is a hundred per cent different to the normal OC girl in these type of stories.

Her friend Lottie, is a great character not too mention friend. I already thinks that you've made the premise that she will stick by Taylor throughout the pregnancy providing she goes on with it.

I think it's nice that Taylor is a little in denial, and that it either is baby or as she said some weird disease. I love your description of when Taylor is crying just after Lottie's looked at the test and pulled her into a hug.

There are a few little spelling/grammar mistakes such as missed capital letters and using a comma rather than full stop. But it's nothing that a read over won't sort and if this is going to be a novel if you feel like you'll need it, maybe a beta will be better in the long run.(PM me maybe? if you do want one?)

House Cup Review 2014 - Gryffindor

-Potterfan310

Author's Response: Hi there! :)

Thank you so much for the lovely review! This made me happy!

I'm such a sucker for pregnancy stories and James/OC stories as well, it's kind of my guilty pleasure.

I'm glad it flowed well! That's one of the things I really worry about. You're right about her boss, he is not going to be pleased, but that plays out a little bit later.

I'm so glad you like Taylor! I would be really upset if everyone hated her bc it's really her story. Lol. I really wanted to make her different from typical OCs. I feel often that I read about the exact same OC in different stories and the only things that really change are the name. I wanted to give her more depth, I guess.

I love writing Lottie! I definitely plan to have her stick around, she's a great friend and Taylor needs her.

I thought finding out you're pregnant would be a bit of a shock and that she would have a lot of emotions, so I'm glad you liked that.

I'll def. re-read for errors and I would love if you'd like to beta! I don't have the next chapter ready just yet, but I have about a third or so of the chapters completely plotted, so it won't be long.

Thank you!!


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Review #39, by potterfan310Thestrals: Hugo

7th July 2014:
Hi!

I hadn't noticed it before, but I like that you've picked three characters from each of the generations! It works very nicely. I also really like that you connected the three HC prompts all with the use of thestrals.

I'm intrigued as to which grandmother passed away, because if it was Molly, then there will be tears! Both are sad of course, but I think if it was Molly there would be a lot of fuss because of her loving nature and of course the hoards of children/grandchildren she had. I like that you mentioned she passed with a smile on her lips.

The idea that like many other he was scared of them is a good one, I especially loved how he approached the baby one and gave it an apple. A nice touch to show that they are misunderstood creatures.

I think you've characterised quite like Ron, such as his stubbornness but I do think he like hermione as well. Hugo is definitely a brave one for entering the forest on his own.

The last three lines were extremely touching ♥

House Cup 2014 Review - Gryffindor
-Potterfan310

Author's Response: Hey!

Yes! I did! And thestrals are cool ;)

I wrote this with Molly in mind, but I didn't mention which one specifically, letting the readers decide. It would be sad either way, but sadder since we, as readers, know Molly.

Baby animals are a great way to get over misunderstood creatures. Baby animals are too cute, and thestral babies are no exception.

Hugo is definitely characterised with Ron in mind. And Hugo's too brave and Gryffindor to pay attention to why the Forbidden Forest is forbidden!

Thanks for reading and reviewing :)


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Review #40, by potterfan310Thestrals: Neville

7th July 2014:
Hi!

Oooh I think this is only the second fic that I've read in second person's POV. I think you've written it very well. Neville is one of my absolute favourite characters so I'm glad you chose him for this prompt.

How you managed to span his life into just 500 words is beyond me, because this was perfect. If this could have been extended into a longer fic I would love to read about all his experiences :D

The words 'Be brave, Be strong' are a nice touch to the whole story and to me it feels like a mantra, that he's willing himself be just that.

I feel for Neville I really do. I can't believe how he could think that people would think he was a fraud but he truly is strong and brave! Look at everything he did, not only the little snippets you added as he grew up but all the stuff he conquered at Hogwarts.

I love this chapter so much, especially Neville who you wrote very well ♥ The last two lines gave me chills as it was the perfect way to end this is my eyes ♥

House Cup 2014 Review - Gryffindor
-Potterfan310

Author's Response: Hello!

This is, incidentally, only the second fic I've written in second person. How's that for weird coincidences? And thank you! That means a lot!

Neville's fic was the one with which I had the most trouble keeping it to 500 words. But I'd promised myself...

And yeah! The repetition was supposed to be like a mantra, although one he hates hearing at the beginning.

Neville is just such a great character. He's tragic, but also really normal. His problems could be anyone's problems. It's one of things I love about him most!

Thanks for the lovely review :) Glad you enjoyed it!


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Review #41, by potterfan310Thestrals: Sirius

7th July 2014:
Hi!

Whilst this is short and sweet you have managed to put a good amount of description in it and I love how you described his aunt's house and a few other little bits.

It's a bit surprising they would let a Muggle into their for fear of tarnishing their blood and reputation but it doesn't surprise me that Bella and Lucius like to torture muggles, Bella especially. I'm almost glad that Narcissa was not there, or if she was that she chose not to participate.

I mean is it any wonder Sirius left, beside the obvious!

My only CC is the word knapsack, I'm not sure if it is an American word or not but in the UK the term tends to be backpack instead.

The Potter's are pretty fantastic, not to mention supportive. It is incredibly sweet that Sirius has his own chair at their dining table, I love it so much and it made me smile :) The whole little bit at the end I adore, especially when Sirius asks if he can stay but he can't get the words and they are like yes you can stay!!

House Cup 2014 Review - Gryffindor
-Potterfan310

Author's Response: Heya!

I'm glad that you like the description that is there. There isn't much though, because description takes up too many words :P

I was a little torn about this point. But I chose the house for practical reasons in the end. Realistically, where can one do such things without being disturbed/getting caught? Also, they're hypocrites so there's always that.

Yeah, it was time for Sirius to leave - this was just the last straw :(

Haha, I've never really heard the word knapsack used. But after you mentioned this, I was curious. So it turns out it was used in 1603 first, but it's an old-fashioned sort of word now. I think I used it because I have a vague recollection of reading it in Enid Blyton books. Apparently, I think that Sirius is an Enid Blyton kind of guy. I've written a note down about it :D

The POtters are great. People who give other people seats at their dining table usually are.

Thanks so much for the review :)


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Review #42, by potterfan310Event 3 ~~ Sunlight, Moonlight: Sunlight, Moonlight

7th July 2014:
Hi!

Wow! I love the start of this, Especially the baby Unicorn's I mean how cute are they!! :D I often forget that Ollivander has a first name since he is normally called via his second one but I am glad you incorporated it into the fic.

I really like how that Garrick is doing such a simple task such as getting wood and yet he gets to witness this beautiful moment between the baby Unicorn and its mama. Your descriptions are so beautiful!! And they flow so well together. I was able to picture the whole scene in my head as it played out.

Aww the poor bowtruckles, but it's no wonder they're suspicious of him :p

Just one teeny thing that I was was a little repetitive was when the two paragraphs one after each other which both started with 'The foal..." Same with the sentences in the first of those paragraphs.

The baby unicorn is adorable and I think I am in love with the magical-ness of it :D

The ending is really fitting, and just like Garrick wonders, I can't help but think that the Unicorn is the one he saw being born! So sweet.

House Cup 2014 Review - Gryffindor
-Potterfan310

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Review #43, by potterfan310Life and Love: James

7th July 2014:
I adore Harry/Ginny but I think I have yet to read one where she is in labour with James.

I really like how you've got Ron and Hermione as a newlywed couple whilst Harry and Ginny are already married I'm assuming. It's part of my headcanon that Hermione and Ron don't marry straight away like Harry and Ginny :D

Harry's assignment sounds rather found! I feel so bad that he isn't there, and I swear my heart was racing for the fear that he wouldn't make it.

I think your Harry/Ginny characterisation is spot on! And I love the whole scene where they are asking Ron and Hermione to be godparents, it's so cute! The Potter children's name are a little weird but then again Ginny did name Ron's owl Pigwidegeon! :p

The end is adorable and I love it, how it's just the three of them. That and they're already thinking of baby number two.

My only CC is a few typo's and your Americanisms which can be easily spotted/changed after a read through. It may just be personal opinion but I think writing a number flows better than using the number, e.g two rather than 2. I also spotted at the very start you said 'Aurora' instead of 'Aurors' when speaking of where Harry was.

Maybe do a continue piece for Albus and Lily? As this was fun and fluffy to read.

House Cup 2014 Review - Gryffindor

-Potterfan310

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review. I will eventually get around to editing but I just haven't had the time yet. I appreciate the feedback.

LM


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Review #44, by potterfan310Last Summer: Truth

6th July 2014:
HI!

Uh-oh, I get that Claire is so worried but resigning on the day of the match, man that is not good news.

HA! Oh Albus, you idiot. Of course Claire does not want to snog you senseless :p

There are a few bits where certain things should be on a new line, such as where Claire says something but then you having Albus smiling at the end.

I feel for Dom, since she isn't currently in the loop about you know what. I love the names for the Quidditch moves, very creative and original! Especially the Gryffindor Weave :D

Try and keep consistency with the numbers as you've switch from writing ten minutes to 10 points and little things like that.

Bless Claire for struggling on with a broken leg, man can that girl even feel pain? Such a trooper. Not gonna lie my heart was racing through the whole chapter, mainly due to the title. Aww James, the idiot snogging miss terrible in public, urgh.

Not to mention go Claire for getting getting spotted for the professional teams!!

Kind of surprised Madame Pomfrey didn't lecture Claire about playing whilst pregnant but hey ho, she did give her that potion after all.

HE CAME TO SEE HER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, HE LOVES HER I SWEAR, OTHERWISE HE WOULDN'T HAVE DONE IT!! I'm excited can you tell :p BUT OH MY GOD!

I feel for James the way he got all worked up and not understanding, but damn SHUT UP AND LISTEN FOR ONCE JAMES!

WAIT WHAT? NO! I THOUGHT THAT WAS REAL AND OH MY GOD I GOT MY HOPES UP, THAT'S EVIL!

BUT NO CLAIRE WHY DID YOU NOT TELL HIM WOMAN, YOU HAD THE PERFECT TIMING AND I'M STARTING TO THINK YOU ARE A TAD EVIL FOR DRAGGING IT OUT THIS LONG (Then again I'm guilty of doing exactly the same, oops). BUT OH MY GOD!

Dying for the next chapter now, oh my god *heavy breathing*

-Potterfan310
Soph x

Author's Response: Hi! Sorry it took so long for me to reply! Busy busy :O

I'm sorry for being so evil this chapter! There is a perfectly good reason for dragging it out like this, I promise. She will tell soon, so don't worry ;) it'll be great!

The next chapter will come sometime this week!

Thanks for the great review :)


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Review #45, by potterfan310Statue of Us: Autumn, 1978

5th July 2014:
HEY!!

Second chapter, squee! :D

Aww James is adorable and his sort of nervous-ness about being Head Boy is so cute! Is it possible to love him even more? Ha! Oh the irony, "you can't have a werewolf teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts." I LOVE IT. Not too mention he's all nervous that Lily will think he's an idiot, well more of an idiot.

Of course they've broke half the rules! I can't help but wonder what the Prefects Code of Conduct rules were :p

OMG, JAMES! I CAN'T HE IS SO ADORABLE AND DORKY WHEN HE'S AROUND LILY! I love how all he takes from their conversation is that Lily may or may not have a things for head boys :D He is so smitten, JILY 4 EVER !

OOO Peter has a brother, le gasp. I kind of wish we got to know more about him, it'd be interesting to see if he does have siblings.

WOLFSTAR! I can't contain myself with those two and their flirting, the way you write them makes me so happy.

JILY BONDING! IT GETS BETTER!

I swear to god I am on love with Remus and Sirius and James' relationship especially after the first chapter.

YOU SHOULD TOTALLY JUST WRITE 50K OF REMUS/SIRIUS BANTER FOR THE NEXT NANO, I WOULD READ IT!

I WISH I COULD PUT MY FAVOURITE LINE IN THIS REVIEW BUT ALAS I CANNOT BUT YOU ALREADY SAID IT IN THE CABIN XD They are just fabulous human beings with one another and you write them so well! This is why I don't think I could write Marauders or Hogwarts Era, for the fear of getting them right.

I think secretly Dumbledore ships James and Lily.

Can't wait for the next one! See you in the crazy cabin :D You guys have rubbed off on me with the talking in caps :p

-Potterfan310

Author's Response: Heya!

I KNOW RIGHT James is an adorable dork and I like the idea of him actually being worried about his role as Head Boy like, he tends to be characterised as this arrogant dude who swans through Hogwarts without a care in the world but the Marauders are actually just giant DORKS the lot of them

I loved slipping that irony in there. You can't, Remus? Say that again in fifteen years.

I should really get round to writing a Prefects Code of Conduct (just for funsies) because it's featured in every story I've had prefects in, and it's about time I cemented it in my personal and expansively detailed headcanons.

I've never been much of a Jily shipper before now but I swear it took me like, twenty minutes of writing them and I was sold (probably because my James is adorkable and my Lily is a total babe. Bias? What bias)

We know so little about Peter because he's the Big Bad Traitor of the Marauders and we all loathe him and how can he possibly be a normal character, but I'm actually enjoying fleshing him out a bit and giving him a brother and a girlfriend and other normal things.

WOLFSTAR I KNOW RIGHT THERE'S A LOT OF WOLFSTAR IN CHAPTER THREE LOOK FORWARD TO IT AND YEAH JILY BONDING LOOK AT THESE SHIPS MARCHING ON NONE OF THAT PINING FROM AFAR BUSINESS IT'S GO TIME

I SHOULD WRITE 50K OF REMUS/SIRIUS BANTER AND TENSION FOR THE NEXT NANO. YOU ARE RIGHT. I WILL DO THIS. DIALOGUE ALONE. THAT SOUNDS LIKE A FUN CHALLENGE ACTUALLY.

I TOOK A MOMENT TO THINK ABOUT THAT LINE WAS IT THE CODEPENDENCY ONE BECAUSE I WAS VERY HAPPY WITH IT I'M GLAD YOU ARE TOO

Dumbledore is the biggest Jily shipper at Hogwarts he's not even trying to hide it

SEE YOU IN THE CABIN!


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Review #46, by potterfan310Statue of Us: Summer, 1978

2nd July 2014:
Hi!!

Where to begin because oh my god, this is fab!

Both James and Sirius are fabulous, I actually think your characterisation of them is spot on. Some of the things Sirius, I can't help but laugh. Remus is perfect too, bless him for getting worried when he first arrived I guess hanging around with those two can make you a bit nervous of getting pranked.

Half the time Peter is over-looked in fics and whilst he's not my favourite person I am super glad you've included him! Not only that you've given him a girlfriend too which is rather unusual but I like it.

Either it's my dirty mind or I'm reading way too much into think but there are certainly some lines which have made me snigger a lot, gotta love wolfstar.

Their friendship is beyond perfect in my eyes and it's so nice that whilst James does still love Lily and wants to woo her, that he doesn't go on about it constantly and is all 'woe is me I can't get the girl'.

The romantic/sexual tension between them!! It makes me so happy and when Sirius was on about Remus shedding his hair and how as a dog Sirius sleeps on us pillow, que me with a sappy look on my face going 'aw' about a million times. So I'm flailing everywhere as I read this, their snark and wit is just spot on. "I've slept naked in your bed, Remus Lupin." - HA! I love it :D James is a hundred per cent right, those two are certainly flirting.

I mean I know I can be lazy at times, but charming his socks on his feet, well I never thought I'd read someone as lazy as Sirius! But maybe he should just do some washing. There are keepign an eye on important and then there's putting them in your flat, why does it surprise Sirius is keeping his motorbike in his flat.

Remus wants Sirius to live him just asdfghjkl, hold me now. They are seriously perfect for each other and I mean I shipped wolfstar before but reading this I am seriously shipper them even harder. No no, Moony your heart was racing because of Padfoot, not because of werewolf monthly.

Bad dorky Remus is very appealing, I want to pick him up and run away with him. Naughty naughty, but I suppose he is helping Sirius so he can be let off for the shoplifting. This is probably because of tumblr but I now have images of James, Sirius and Remus in flared trousers and fancy shirts, but of course Remus has one of those sweater vest things on top and I can't stop laughing now XD

YES! The forty line stare, well close enough.

I am so excited to read more now!! And I am totally adding this to my favourites.

-Potterfan310

Author's Response: Heya! Thank you so much for this review, for starters - it was so exciting to recieve!

OH MAN I AM HONESTLY SO RELIEVED TO HEAR THAT, the Marauders are held as nothing short of sacred in the fandom and taking on their characters and the entire dynamic is incredibly daunting, especially James and Sirius, so managing to be true to them is my #1 priority.

Peter is not my favourite either, but at the end of the day he WAS a Marauder and he was their friend - close enough that James did trust him as Secret-Keeper, and hindsight is 20/20 but at this point anyway the boys are all pretty close.

EVERY LINE IS SO DELIBERATE I PROMISE YOU. THEY WILL NOT STOP FLIRTING.

James is a difficult balance to strike because yes he is in love with Lily but they're not exactly close, so at this point he's sort of worshipping her from afar, if that makes sense? Once they're back at Hogwarts though he may as well have hearts for eyes.

GOD YES WOLFSTAR IS KILLING ME THERE'S SO MUCH TENSION BETWEEN THEM AND IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT AND AT THE SAME TIME THEY'RE JUST SO SARCASTIC AND WITTY I COULD WRITE 50K OF JUST REMUS/SIRIUS BANTER I SWEAR I COULD LIKE SOMETIMES I WANT TO FASTFORWARD THEM GETTING TOGETHER BUT ALSO I LOVE HOW THEY ARE HERE

Oh MAN that means so much to me that even this chapter full of dorky dorks being awkward has made you ship them even more than before (It's had the same effect on me though - I didn't think I COULD ship them harder but hey, here we are)

Remus DEFINITELY wears sweater vests.

THE FORTY LINE STARE AKA THE WOLFSTAR SHIPPER'S BIBLE YES

Thank you so, so much for this review and I hope you continue to enjoy! See you 'round the cabin!


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Review #47, by potterfan310Last Summer: Realizations

1st July 2014:
OH. MY. GOD. WHAT!?!

The start, oh my!! :D I got so excited then but of course Claire was dreaming. Hmm.. (maybe put it in italics so it stands out more, just a suggestion)

I just want to hug Claire so much!! Man I have all the feels. Her hormones are definitely all over the place, bless her. First the dream, then snapping at Dom and James.

I am super glad she's keeping the baby. I think because of the stupid situation is why she was choosing to go through with it. But deep down she can do this!! It's either a mini her or a mini James :D At least she made the decision herself too, which makes me glad.

I normally hate the fact in teen pregnancy stories that the mother keeps playing Quidditch, because it's just not possible. But I do kind of like your take on it. Maybe I'm warming to the matter...

I kind of want to know more about Claire's life and her parents, whether she has any siblings or not?

Give the girl a medal, Rose is our very own Sherlock! HA! I love Rose so much, I'm glad you put her in here!! Oh and is Claire a 7th year like James or 6th year like Al?

Claire do as Rose says!! Listen for once!

Looking forward to the next one :)

-Potterfan310

Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked this chapter! For some reason I am not the biggest fan of it so I made the next chapter extra dramatic and exciting :)

I agree with you on the moms continuing to play Quidditch. I feel it is highly irresponsible. However, I have a reason for her continuing to play so I made it safe :)

It's funny you bring up her parents and siblings because there is a little explanation in the next chapter.

Rose is amazing!! More of her to come too :) And Claire is in her 7th year. Her birthday is in the summer.

I put the next chapter in last night so hopefully it is validated soon!

You are seriously amazing for always reviewing :)


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Review #48, by potterfan310Last Summer: Help

29th June 2014:
Me again.

Well hell, Claire's going to do it, isn't she. I feel so bad for her and she needs all the hugs *hugs for Claire* She's so confused and I mean, is it any wonder? She's got Miss not so angelic on her back, James hates her and thinks she's with Al and well Al is partly to blame for things.

At least James is trying to talk to Claire. She has to tell him she's never dated Al for real, that it was all a hoax. I think if James knew that at least he might feel better and even more sorry about acting the way he did with not only Claire, but his brother.

Moaning Myrtle, ha! Oh the drama, she's a bit of a gossip isn't she? :p

Nooo, Claire had the perfect moment to tell him the truth both about her and Al fake dating and the baby. Is she okay though, considering he knocked her to the floor? "I know that if it was us, thatís what I would do." - THIS!!! CLAIRE TELL HIM FOR GODS SAKE! The perfect opportunity and Claire blew it.

Is Scorpius jealous of Emily and Fred? What he likes Emily!?! Nooo ScoRose must forever happen.

It isn't a major thing thing, but personally I think that writing out numbers makes things flow better than actually putting the number. Eg - It was 8:05 to It was five past eight..

I'm thinking that Claire doesn't go through with the abortion, plus even if she did I wouldn't think she would be a good state to play Quidditch three days afterwards. So I'm thinking she doesn't go through with it and then something happens during the match and she gets hurt. It comes out she's pregnant and everyone instantly thinks Al. Claire's in the hospital wing and James comes to see her so she blurts out that it's his.?

Anywho, can't wait for the next chapter. I'm really excited now! :D

-Potterfan310

Author's Response: Claire is conflicted with the whole situation. She doesn't know that James still has feelings for her and she doesn't know her own true feelings even though we all do. She thinks the abortion is her only way to solve the problem. But with James saying "us" it kind of opens her eyes (which will play into the next chapter and impact her decision).

Isn't Myrtle wonderful?

Your reaction made me laugh out loud. She really did blow it! But she was a bit overwhelmed with her feelings and what to do, she couldn't say it. Plus I have planned the perfect time for her to actually tell him. Just wait ;)

I'm twisting things up for Scorpius. He is about to go for an interesting ride.

I will keep that in mind when I write times again. Thanks!

The abortion and Quidditch match are the next two chapters so you shall see soon. Chapter 8 is waiting to be validated and I'm nearly finished with Chapter 9.

Thanks for reading and reviewing :)


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Review #49, by potterfan310Last Summer: Deal

29th June 2014:
How did I miss two updates, man I've been so busy but I'm finally here!

Poor Claire and her morning sickness, I don't think she'll be sticking with Quidditch much longer now either.

Angeline is definitely dragging things out me thinks, she's probably waiting until Claire lets her guard down to tell James and then all hell will be let loose.

Urgh, James I dislike you right now. Stop being so full of yourself and hating on Claire. But good for her in telling him she had something important to say. I honestly don't think Claire will go through with the abortion, even if she thinks it will stop Angeline from telling James.

James POV, how interesting. I'm glad he feels bad, so he bloody well should. I feel weirdly bad for James now, I mean I think he likes Claire a lot but now the both of them have messed it all up.

So it's official, I hate Angeline with a passion, the back stabbing horrible witch. Thank god James saw sense, well kind of and dumped her sorry arse. He loves Claire, I'm sure of it now. He can't stand the thought of Angeline's comments or that Claire has supposedly been with Albus. He loves her, I swear.

Angeline needs a good old slap, preferably hard. She's clearly the one who wants him for his last name and of course the fame.

Off to read the next one.

-Potterfan310

Author's Response: I was wondering where you were! Thanks for continuing to read and review!

Don't hate too much on James. He is a tad heartbroken at the moment. He really shouldn't have said what he did, but he will redeem himself somehow.

Angeline is a terrible person. You're right, she does need a slap in the face. I'm excited for you to see how Angeline's role will play out in this story. It will only get more dramatic and intense from here ;)


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Review #50, by potterfan310I'll Never Let You Have Her: Tickle Monster

29th June 2014:
Finally getting around to read this!

Sam is literally the cutest kid, I'm still wondering whether her being upset and out of sorts is prior to Freya's (urgh) return.

Aww I love the little snippet of how Al wouldn't leave Harry alone. Too cute.♥

Yep after Victoire's words I definitely like something big is coming. Namely a big old evil monster called Freya.

Bless Sam going all shy, I can't help but laugh though when she told Rachel that her dress was for babies. Kids are smarter than you think :D Rachel is definitely good with her, and whilst I like her and Louis as friends (for now maybe?) there's still a part of me that thinks Loratio ♥ should still happen.

Colin calls her Tiny Weasley, that's so cute! He definitely has good timing! Louis and Rachel on a sort of date, sounds promising as does the fact he has to repay her with chocolates and flower.

Can't wait for the next one.

-Potterfan310

Author's Response: Wooo yay!!! *hugs you tightly because you're so awesome*

Aww, I'm glad that you think so, and it may be, maybe she has a power that makes her see that something bad is on its way?. o plot idea!! :P

I love having little snippets of what the characters used to be like back when they were younger, I'm tempted to write a short story on it?

Oh yes, something has to be coming... and you're right, a massive monster like Freya!

Haha, I'm glad that you liked that part. :D They really are smarter than people think, and Sam really likes Rachel, she just needed to open up to her. Awww the Loratio love, it's there, don't you worry!

Colin has such good timing, it's like he can sense it!

Thank you so so much for your amazing reviews Soph! You're so awesome!! :D And if I knew how to do those little heart icons I would put so many on here!


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