Reading Reviews From Member: Beeezie
615 Reviews Found

Review #26, by BeeezieKnight Takes Queen: Bishop

20th June 2015:
This is fascinating. Initially, I was really confused, because I guess I was seeing the previous chapter as being Rowena later in life - but it wasn't, was it? She was still a very young woman, one who didn't understand and necessarily really believe in magic.

(Or maybe it was and she did and I'm missing something because I'm not taking my time the way I usually would, because of TAR.)

Regardless: Aph, your prose is so pretty. As with the last chapter, I could see this scene in my mind as though I was watching a movie. I was glad to see that even in the beginning, she was in a better space emotionally than she was last chapter, despite her continued conflict about her magic throughout the chapter (though given her despair last chapter, I guess that's not particularly surprising - a person can really only handle that kind of acute pain for so long before they crack, I think).

When I think about the Founders, I assume that they grew up knowing that they were witches and wizards, accepting it and happy with it. But it makes sense that that wouldn't necessarily be the case - after all, their founding Hogwarts probably wouldn't have been such a big deal if Hogwarts hadn't been desperately needed. The idea that she'd really made her own way - including living in the wildnerness! - is one that I hadn't really considered, but which is now making its way into my head canon.

This was lovely.

House Cup 2015 - Ravenclaw!

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Review #27, by BeeezieKnight Takes Queen: Rook

20th June 2015:
Hey, Aph! I'm so glad I have an excuse to review some of your stories, because you're such a wonderful writer.

And this is no exception. I loved the life you brought to this scene with your vivid prose. I could feel the wind whipping at her face and her clothes, and even more importantly, I felt the depths of her despair. I thought the religious angle was a really great touch, because while it takes a lot of pain to get to the point she was at in the first place, the feeling that damnation was worse than what she was facing just then was heartbreaking. I wondered what had happened to bring her to this point, especially since it seemed to me like she'd been in the depths of despair for awhile.

The appearance of the merman at that point was brilliant, and I understood why he had such an effect on Rowena - it didn't make her happy, but seeing the merman seemed to pull her out of herself a little, which was particularly in keeping for someone who loved discovery, and the symbolism at the end was beautiful. This was such an amazing piece.

House Cup 2015 - Ravenclaw!

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Review #28, by BeeezieFanged Revolution: Chapter the First

11th June 2015:
Oooh, Olivia, this was so good. So good.

I love the worldbuilding you did here! Drawing Septimus Malfoy in was wonderful - I love little references to canon like that - and the mention of werewolves and garlic was perfect. The tension between the vampire community and the wizarding community is completely believable, too. We saw plenty of examples of prejudice from the wizarding community throughout the series, and that was aimed mostly at people who were far less dangerous than vampires. I can totally understand why the vampires would keep the fact that some of them retained the ability to do magic quiet.

At the same time, though, I do wonder whether the wizards don't have a point here. I get that they (presumably) didn't choose to be vampires, but while werewolves are only dangerous three nights a month and can be subdued for the duration of that time, it seems to me that vampires are pretty dangerous most of the time - Ignatius certainly didn't hesitate to kill that woman, and while I get that the horror on her face might have been what decided him, it takes someone with a pretty short fuse to jump from "You're scared of me" to "Let me eat you now."

I don't know - I don't feel like there are any simple answers, at least not from what I saw in this chapter, and I'm beginning to feel like you excel at making everything murky and complicated! :P

And that cliffhanger - ughhh, you destroy me. Onward!

House Cup 2015 - Ravenclaw

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Review #29, by BeeezieThe Brothers Three: The Pale Steed

11th June 2015:
Huh. I don't think I'd processed that Death was actively watching the Peverells last chapter, certainly not so closely that she'd continue to do so over the course of several years. That's interesting!

I loved the way you characterized each of the brothers several years on; I could see how both Antioch and Cadmus were continuing to head down dark paths that you'd already started to show in the first chapter, and while it was sad to see Cadmus in particular fall further into despair, it's not particularly suprising. They're not just caricatures of bad people, though - I can definitely see a little more complexity in Antioch in particular, which I like.

Ignotus, on the other hand - I was a little surprised by how you dealt with him. I guess I was kind of expecting him to just get The Good Brother treatment in juxtaposition to The Bad Brothers, but you didn't really do that. You exposed his flaws, too, and made him look petty - but still redeemable, which I'm not sure is true of the other brothers, at least not from Death's point of view.

As with the last chapter, though, I was surprised at the strength of my dislike for Cadmus, which grew exponentially in this episode. I'm not sure whether it's intentional on your part to present him as the most unsympathetic of all of them or if it's just my interpretation (which wouldn't shock me, actually, as the stone was by far my least favorite of the Deathly Hallows), but either way, he creeps me out more than Antioch, who at least seems to be a little more honest about not being a great person.

House Cup 2015 - Ravenclaw

Author's Response: She kinda got obsessed because they share the seven sins between them, collectively in one family. (Maybe I should make that clearer??)

I don't think of Antioch or Cadmus as villians. I mean, I think that most 'bad guys' don't see themselves as such, and I kinda hoped to show that. Just like Ignotus isn't just 'good'. Everyone has thier faults, which of course Death knows.

Cadmus is certinaly my least favorite, and the catalyst for all this deathly hallow stuff, as we'll (hopefully) see in the next chapter (if I can ever get away from Stand Tall long enough to write it...)

Thank you again for these great reviews, so gald that you enjoyed the piece!

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Review #30, by BeeezieThe Brothers Three: Introduction

11th June 2015:
I read this for the Diadems and thought it was brilliant, but didn't have a chance to review it. But TAR is giving me a great excuse, so here I am! ♥

I love the way you characterized each of the sins in the beginning. I don't think it's always particularly fair, but that fits really well - she's Death, and empathy isn't really part of her nature. And, in fairness, she probably sees the very worst of humanity, not the best, particularly if she's hanging around taverns focusing on sins. Confirmation bias, Death. Confirmation bias.

And I like the way you characterize the Peverell brothers, too. I could see already how they would come to make the choices they did when confronted with Death, though I feel like their motivations are likely going to turn out to be a little different than they were presented in the story we heard in canon. (Which makes sense - it would be a little unrealistic for subtleties of personality to all manage to make their way through centuries to end up being perfect in the late twentieth century!)

Antioch was thoroughly unpleasant, of course - but I found Cadmus more interesting. I actually expected to feel really bad for him once I heard his backstory... but as I read on, I realized that I didn't, not really. It was sad, certainly, and I did sympathize to some extent, but mostly I was just a little disgusted, particularly at his lack of concern for his remaining children and especially when he seemed to be saying that it "should" have been Antioch's wife to die, not his. I mean, come on - it's not her fault her husband is scum.

Amazing chapter.

House Cup 2015 - Ravenclaw

Author's Response: Bahaha! Confirmation bias. You get me.

I'm glad that you enjoy it, I am definitely utilizing the fact that their characters have been simplified over decades into one dimensional character of a legend, and I'm trying to expound upon that.

I'm so glad that you enjoyed it, and proud that it even was nominated for a diadem!

Thank you for the lovely review!

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Review #31, by Beeezieto the end of time: Should Have Said

11th June 2015:
Yesss, excuse to come back to this story! I love this story.

This was an incredibly upsetting chapter because of the content, but it was always going to be, and you really did execute it perfectly. I felt Parvati's hesitation, and I could absolutely see how the moment before the battle got lost - I totally understand why Parvati hasn't said anything and what she's going through, but at the same time... Parvati, the time to say something is before an enormous battle - and by before, I mean days/weeks/months before, not five minutes before.

It's just really wretched, though, because again, I get why she didn't say anything.

I really loved her frantic attempts to get to Lavender, and it was nice to see Padma and Seamus pulling her away - I know that the focus of the story is on Parvati and Lavender, which is how it should be, but I feel like you work in a lot of offhanded details about their friends and Padma that hint at a much stronger relationship and history that happens to be most off-page. It's subtle and really beautifully done... like everything in this story, really!

I would have liked to see a chapter or two from the school year preceeding the battle, though - I'm curious about how Parvati experienced her feelings for Lavender given everything else that was going on.

Otherwise, though, this was wonderful. I'm sorry it took me so long to get back to it, and I can't wait for the next chapter!

House Cup 2015 - Ravenclaw

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Review #32, by BeeezieForest: Forest

11th June 2015:
Wow. This was so beyond adorable.

Personally, I'm a huge fan of both magizoology and queer girls/women, so I knew I was going to love this as soon as I started reading - and did I ever.

I loved the way you characterized Lily - the way she tripped over her own tongue in the beginning and ended up feeling super embarassed for asking Elia what year she was in felt so realistic to me - it was really a bit of an overreaction, which kids and teens tend to be known for. And, her ignorance about unicorns/unicorn foals was really endearing, especially since she'd snuck off to the Forbidden Forest in the first place.

And I understand the claustrophobia she hints at, too - I feel like the next-gen Wotter clan often gets portrayed as a big happy family, but I can absolutely see how it could get a little overbearing, and I'm glad you touched on that. It felt like a perfect justification for why rule-abiding Lily would wander into the Forbidden Forest.

And she was so taken with Elia so immediately - it was beyond adorable, and it seemed like Lily only got more enamored as the story went on. I could understand why, especially seeing Elia through Lily's eyes - she came across to me as someone who's got a really distinct view of the world and is happy to explore and experience the world on her own - which I think is really, really good for Lily, particularly given how big and loud her family can be.

I love that Elia made the first move - I was so hoping when you brought them back to the clearing and Lily was wondering why that this would be the result! This was so adorable and fluffy - I loved it. ♥

House Cup 2015 - Ravenclaw

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Review #33, by BeeezieWhen It Matters: When It Matters

11th June 2015:
Carla. ♥

I've been staying away from Scoroses while I work on mine, but I figured that a one-shot wouldn't hurt my focus too much. And oh my god, I'm so glad I clicked on this.

There are so many things I really liked about this - while it's a one-shot, there were so many hints of the broader context than just this one day, and that really brought the world to life for me.

The brief mention of just a tiny bit of tension between James and Albus over Al's sorting worked perfectly - it wasn't overdone, but it did give me some idea of their relationship. I also loved that Rose described Scorpius as really kind - it's kind of a trope to make Slytherins a little irredeemable, I think, which is annoying because I don't think that's the core of Slytherin at all. I loved the way you acknowledged that - subtly, but it made me smile.

I also loved the way you described winter - it made me wish it was winter outside now, when it's only just starting to hit summer. Rose thinking about liking the way the biting cold feels hit me really close to home, because I totally understand the sentiment.

And their feelings for each other. Omg, this was the cutest thing ever. I wanted to hug them both and giggle a lot, because aw.

Loved this!

Btw, you are unfair. You're an amazing artist and I'm discovering that you're also a wonderful writer and I am being eaten alive by envy now. (The good kind, of course. :P)

House Cup 2015 - Ravenclaw

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Review #34, by BeeezieThe Man With the Twisted Face: Outsider

3rd June 2015:
Hey! I'm here for BvB!

I'm happy to get in right after you, because I've been wanting to get back to this story - I really enjoyed the first two chapters, and I liked this one, too!

One of the things that's really wonderful about this story is how much you muddy the waters. There's nothing clear cut here - yes, the Death Eaters are awful, but that doesn't mean that people on the right side conduct themselves well all the time. And, in fact, Fabian conducted himself very, very poorly here.

I actually liked that a lot, because I think it gets at the darker side of Gryffindor. We see the best of them (overall, anyway) in the series, but the same qualities that make them brave and inspiring can also make them bullies, and Fabian is without a doubt acting like a bully here. There's nothing noble about baiting a kid you don't know, but it is rash and impulsive. Those are two very Gryffindor traits, and Antonin clearly reacts to them - and from the end of the chapter, it's pretty clear that he identifies them as such.

But, even though this is from Antonin's point of view and I really sympathize with him here, I can kind of see this from Fabian's side of it, too. On one hand, it's a nasty thing to do to go after a kid you don't know - but on the other, as I think about it, there's also only so much "benefit of the doubt" to go around before you get tired of it. And, from what we see of Antonin's encounters (or lack thereof) with his housemates, the vast majority of Slytherins really do buy into the blood purity thing.

It's really fascinating, and there aren't any easy answers - and I can totally see how, after a tough day where his beliefs are shaken, Antonin would fall in with the first people to show him kindness, even if they are future Death Eaters. And, I think that you've really showed the dangers in placing people on pedestals rather than just seeing them as people - Antonin was idealizing Muggles and Gryffindors, when what he really needed to do was just see them as equally deserving of respect.

This is so intriguing. I can't wait for the next update!

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Review #35, by BeeezieCalculus: 11:57

2nd June 2015:
Hey! No worries about leaving it to the 31st - I got caught up in things and waited even longer!

I really enjoyed this chapter. Your prose brought the scene to life for me - I could practically see the park and the dark hotel room, and hear the rain pouring down. (Well, it helps that it was pouring until recently outside my house, but even if it hadn't been, I'd have felt like I could hear it.)

There were a lot of little deft touches that helped make the story, too - I liked the way Tobias Hughes was reflecting on the case and the current political situation, both because it helped to set the stage of the story for me and because it seemed incredibly realistic. I also loved his caution with using magic in a Muggle area, even though it was quiet and nearing midnight - that helped me get a sense of what kind of person he is, and it made sense in the context you've given - it's not surprising that an elderly wizard on the Wizangamot would be strictly by-the-book, and it makes me wonder what way he was going to side.

Because he's clearly not going to side with anyone now. That scene was horrible (but very well done!) - again, I could practically see it in my mind, and I could absolutely feel how frantic he was to get through this. It was so sad and brutal.

And let me talk about the case for a second, because that's super intriguing to me. It sounds like a boring, finicky legal case on the surface, but (as with many such cases) it's something with enormous repercussions. And, not to deviate too heavily from the content of the chapter itself, but as someone who's interested in employment law and legal matters in general, the case itself was really thought-provoking to me.

On one hand, yes - prejudice is wrong, and the system you describe sounds like it's discriminating rather than making a sound business argument in the first place. However, I have to wonder what ramifications a broad judgment would have on other, similar policies that are less clear cut - an example from our world might be charging higher car insurance rates for young men, who (IIRC) are more likely to get into accidents.

Hmm. It's a really interesting backdrop, and I'm totally adding this to my reading list so I can come back during the HC! :) Amazing, amazing job!

Author's Response: Thanks for this wonderful review! It seems just about everyone's lives got crazy during May, so no worries for you either.

I'm glad you enjoyed the setting and characterization for the chapter. I wrestled for quite some time with how to make this chapter work because given the challenge, I didn't want to drag the story on too long (at least initially). Obviously that meant using Hughes's introspective nature to flesh out the political motive rather than doing loads of heavy lifting in terms of chapters to make it crystal clear.

With that said, one of the weaknesses of that approach was the gray area you mentioned in your second-to-last paragraph. The vision for me with this legislation is to create a wizarding version of the Civil Rights Act (from the United States - I don't know any British or European equivalent). How the change would work in practice is someone would have to demonstrate they were discriminated against to even get any shot at relief, but then the business would have a chance to prove that its decision was either: (1) not based on blood purity or (2) fits exceptions that the Wizengamot deems appropriate to create in its final ruling.

Anyway, I've gotten off on a meandering legal track now, but I'm really glad you enjoyed the beginning. Hopefully if you do get a chance to read it through to the end you'll enjoy the remainder as well.

Thanks again!

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Review #36, by BeeezieAesthetic Alterations: Library Aesthetic

23rd May 2015:

Oh my god. I'm finally getting around to reading everything so I can make an informed vote for the Diadems, and this is absolutely wonderful. I love it beyond all reason, and if it hasn't been recommended in the Jily thread, it will be five minutes after I've finished this review!

Because wow.

I just - I love this. It's so sweet. I wasn't sure what a modern Muggle Jily AU would look like, but it was wonderful. You completely captured both of the characters and found perfect stand-ins for all the important aspects of their lives and personalities. Remus having lupus was perfect instead of being a werewolf in particular - though I do wish you hadn't dismissed it quite so quickly. I get that it wasn't the point, but even with medical care, lupus can be a really big deal, and I wish some of James's worry had remained. (Not all, but some.)

I also loved that Lily admitted that she was behaving according to her idea of what a librarian should be than what a librarian actually is - as someone in the field myself, I've absolutely met people like her, and it occasionally drives me crazy because "internet" is not a dirty word! (Argh.) But she was adorable here, as was James - I can totally see the appeal of him, especially for someone who's cultivated this persona of being reserved and controlled.

Loved this so, so much. ♥


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Review #37, by Beeezieslowly: and then all at once

16th May 2015:
I'm going to choose to believe that this is Alastair. (Please let it be Alastair?)

This is so lovely. As always, I could see the picture of it in my mind, and you really brought what Lily was feeling as she descended the stairs and walked down the aisle to life. This was utterly, beautifully realistic, and the little details you threw in really helped take the story from lovely to extraordinary - Lily almost tripping in particular made me smile, because I am literally one of the klutziest people I've ever met. (I can literally bruise myself just walking down a hallway. It's pathetic.)

I love this story. Omg. ♥

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Review #38, by Beeezieheaven: can't help me now

16th May 2015:
Ooooh are some of your next gens in the same overarching universe? I don't think I knew that!

Or maybe just these two are. Either way, why haven't I stalked your author page before? I've loved both fics that I've read so far, and oh I love this song so much. So this is all kinds of win, really.

(Now I'm listening to 1989. I suspect that I will continue to do so for the rest of the day. HOW DARE YOU. Wow, I love this CD so much.)


This was such a wonderful fic on so many levels. Your description was absolutely perfect - I felt like I was watching a movie, and I could totally see the draw of Alastair. By the time I was halfway through, I kind of wanted to get into a passionate secret romance with him! You just made their relationship so lovely and real and secret without being... well, illicit? If that makes sense?

It also gave a lot of new meaning to Cherish, and now I'm going to have to go back and reread it knowing that this was how their relationship began and how fleeting she'd assumed it would be.

On that topic: I actually really liked that Lily was so convinced that their relationship was fleeting, and he seemed to be... not pushing for something more, exactly, because I didn't feel any pressure there, but have faith in something more? Maybe? Sort of? And I loved that in the end, she was kind of proven wrong.

Loved this so much. ♥

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Review #39, by Beeeziecherish: all these simple things

16th May 2015:
Hi, Sarah!

This was such a cute story - I really enjoyed it! I feel like often, people who are a little introverted and not in the middle of all the excitement and festivities are painted as being depressed and/or not enjoying themselves, but IME that's often not at all the case, and I think you showed that with Lily perfectly. She came across to me as totally peaceful and enjoying herself, which is wonderful. :)

Speaking of wonderful, I loved your depiction of the Weasleys in general. It was just such a wonderful depiction of their Christmas - so frantic but so, so loving.

And YAY queer Weasleys - I'm a Rose/Scorpius fan, but Albus/Scorpius is definitely growing on me, and my Roxanne is also definitely queer. (Actually, most of my next-gen Weasley women are queer - not sure how that happened, but hey. :P)

This was lovely. ♥ (And it kind of makes me wish it was Christmas. :P)

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Review #40, by Beeeziefelt: Chapter 1: In Which Harry Interferes

15th May 2015:
Hi, Carla! Back for BvB! ♥

I really enjoy what you did with this chapter. I think that you're a little evil for not taking us off the hook for what exactly the law says, but I guess wanting to know so bad is the mark of a good chapter (and a good writer, of course!).

Your portrayal of Hermione was perfect. The way she's approaching the law is so reminiscent of the way we saw Hermione approach pretty much any much problem in the series: with rapt attention and significant anxiety, sometimes to the exclusion of everything else.

Though - the bit at the end about her and Ron also made me wonder whether a rough patch in her relationship was contributing to her focus on the law. I mean, it sounds like she'd be focusing regardless, but it's not at all uncommon for people to use work to hide from trouble in their relationships.

I also appreciated the way that she was a little more hesitant about trusting Draco than Harry was. That makes sense to me, as they've moved forward - I think that Harry saw a little more of Draco in HBP and DH that helped lay the groundwork for getting past the hard feelings to some extent and giving Draco a chance to change, where Hermione (and Ron, of course) weren't privy to the same information.

I did initially wonder why you had her focus on the punch rather than some of their other encounters (most notably when she was tortured by Bellatrix in DH), but as I thought about it, I realized that the punch is probably much easier to talk about, and I can see why she'd focus on it instead.

Regardless, though, I really enjoyed your portrayal-through-Harry of Draco after the war in its own right, too. I tend to think that Draco did reform to some extent, but while you alluded to that, you also didn't skim over his very troubling background - it was a wonderful balancing act, and I'd excited to see Draco show up!

One tiny bit of CC. While I really enjoyed the content of the chapter and thought that you captured Harry, Hermione, and their relationship perfectly, there were a few points where I felt like the dialogue itself was a tiny bit stilted. For example, phrases like "mark my words" or "get off your high horse" didn't really sound like Harry or Hermione (respectively - though they could fit if the speaker was reversed), and there was sometimes a little too much formality in Harry's dialogue in particular.

I also feel like you overused adjectives/adverbs a little. For example,

She rolled her eyes at what he was doing to her notes but gave him a sincere smile as well.

"Sincere" just felt like overkill to me, especially since from the context, we can surmise that her smile was probably genuine.

Other than that, though, I really enjoyed this chapter, and I wish there was more to read! ♥


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Review #41, by Beeeziefelt: Prologue

14th May 2015:
Hey, Carla! I'm here for BvB! :)

Wow. This is a really intriguing start, and I'm dying to know exactly what that law says! I love the way that you pulled Cassandra (I'm assuming Cassandra Trelawney?) into this and that you made her Muggleborn - it was a really cool way to tie in a little bit of what we know from canon and give it new depth and meaning. If this is Cassandra Trelawney, I particularly like the way you continued the portrayal in the books of Muggleborns being perfectly capable of being immensely talented and powerful witches and wizards, since we know that she was such a celebrated Seer.

(Ugh, I hope this is Cassandra Trelawney - otherwise, I'm going to feel like an idiot!)

I also really loved your portrayal of Hermione. I can absolutely see her fleeing noise and celebration (particularly noise and celebration that she isn't really a part of) for dusty archives and books, and the way she's using the time came off as absolutely genuine to me. Of course she's working on research to push for werewolf equality. Hermione was always someone who cared deeply about that stuff in the first place and wouldn't let it slip away, and it makes perfect sense to me that even though it's been about six years since the Battle of Hogwarts, all of the problems with blood status and prejudice haven't been solved yet - not on a societal level, and not on a legal level. (And I do want to mention that her caution before touching the parchment and your reason behind it? Perfect.)

This was so wonderful. I cannot wait to read more.


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Review #42, by BeeezieL'optimisme: Silence

8th May 2015:
Hey, here for BvB! :)

This was so beautifully written - I can completely understand why so many people nominated it for the diadems, because your prose is just breathtaking. It's lovely on its own merits and would be no matter what the content of the story was, but when combined with a character as laden with emotion and sadness and regret as Albus is, the story jumped to a completely different level.

And is now on my favorites and currently reading list, and I have a feeling that I'm not going to sleep tonight because OMG MUST READ. Why, Aph. Why do you do this to me. (Because obviously this is directed purely at me. :P)


You showed so many facets of Albus, Gellert, and their relationship. One of the things I particularly adored was that in some ways, I felt like you humanized Gellert at least a little - outside of Albus's commentary about the future, he mostly came off as just a typical teenager to me - while simultaneously making Albus look worse. I mean, not worse like "you irredeemable monster," but you didn't pull any punches, either. I felt like he was a self-centered and selfish jerk who was so consumed by his first love that he acted very, very poorly.

That's so realistic, because 1) that's so typical of teenagers, particularly teenagers in love and 2) it really gives so much depth to his insistence throughout the books to give people second chances. Some of the second chances he gave always kind of bothered me, to be honest - I thought that he was blind to keep Hagrid as a teacher when he was so clearly pretty incompetent at it (kind-hearted, but incompetent) and to not set Snape in line when it came to bullying students... but as I read through this, I kept thinking back to those little things from the books and started to interpret them in a bit of a different light. In some ways, Albus overcompensated, didn't he?

(At least that's my take!)

The end of this was absolutely heartbreaking. The way you described it more through Albus's feelings than the setting itself made me sympathize more with him, and I could feel his anguish and pain when he realized what he had done.

This was lovely. I can't wait to


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Review #43, by BeeezieHurricane Luna: They Fall in a Cave

27th April 2015:
Aww, this was so much fun!

I really liked your choice to jump ahead six months here. Showing the very, very slow progression of their relationship would be interesting, too, but it would be a different story. The way the past six months are summarized in the first few paragraphs is perfectly done. It flowed perfectly and didn't leave me confused about the evolution of their relationship and Rolf's feelings toward her.

And, as far as the latter goes - you actually addressed this at a lot of points in a lot of really subtle ways, which I loved.

For example, his insistence that he's just tolerating her and is expecting her to disappoint him spoke volumes. My heart went out to him that that's been his experience to such an extent that it's at the forefront of his mind, and it also indicated to me that he liked her more than he was admitting.

Or his focus on her hair - even though it's initially couched in his being annoyed at her, it's pretty easy to see through him, particularly since just a couple paragraphs later he's looking at it again without any of that.

And can I just say: it is so like Luna to basically invite herself along, anthropomorphize all his subjects, and then come up with a really useful way to get what he wants. Combined with his noticing that Luna wasn't complaining, it also helped set up their romance. They're tangible, useful things she does that 1) show some compatibility with Rolf and 2) show that she cares about his passion.

I would like to see a little more of an explanation for what Luna's getting out of this - it's not necessary yet, but while I can guess at some potential reasons, it would be nice to see it addressed more directly at some point.

Loved this chapter, though, and the kiss was so wonderful. I got this ridiculous smile on my face as I read it - it was so cute!

This is wonderful. I can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Hi again!

Wow - thanks again. You picked up on every little detail that I tried to tie into their love story. I didn't want to rush it and I'm glad that came across. And yeah, he's not being entirely honest with himself about his feelings for her :D

I actually never considered what Luna's intentions or motivations were for this. I think that Luna is so complex and such a free spirit that she was just following her heart - to see the interesting animals AND be with Rolf. She is just going with the flow and seeing where life takes her.

hee hee - I wrote the kiss part first and then backtracked and set it up with the rest of the chapter.

Thanks again! I loved these reviews!

♥ Beth

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Review #44, by BeeezieHurricane Luna: They Meet in a Tree

27th April 2015:
I'm finally here! Sorry for the delay. ♥

I am so excited to get into this story - I find Luna to be such a fascinating character (and so difficult to get right, but I'll get to that in a minute!), and I love seeing Rolf - from what little we know about him, he must be a fascinating guy in his own right.

You had me hooked from the first paragraph. I loved the way you described Rolf and his surroundings for two reasons: first, the picture you painted was just so incredibly vivid, and second, I could see so much depth and promise in what you said about fkejjows - it was just wonderful world-building.

I also loved the way you showed part of Rolf's motivation as being based around a desire to make a name for himself, rather than just building on his grandfather's fame. It was perfectly done - I can totally see why he'd feel that way, and while I don't know quite how old he is, if he's at all close in age to Luna I'm assuming he's probably in his mid-late 20s or early 30s. That time frame makes perfect sense for this evolution in his career and perspective, which made the character feel realistic and rich from the start.

I wasn't sure how you'd choose to depict Rolf and Luna's initial meaning. Sometimes he's shown as being immediately enchanted by her, and while I've seen that work, I think this is my favorite take on it so far. You got Luna so right (which is a feat in itself! She's so tough to write in so many ways), and his reaction to her... perfect.

His reaction actually brought something important that often gets overlooked, because Luna is such a popular character among fans: she's really quite annoying sometimes! Hermione's irritation in OotP in particular is not unreasonable, and neither is Rolf's here. Luna marches to the beat of her own drummer, and while that's a lot of fun, it can be infuriating when you encounter it in an actual person, especially if they're mucking something that you worked hard for up.

I love the quote at the end - I can't wait to read on! Amazing job!

Author's Response: Hi there Branwen!

Gah - two totally wonderful reviews :D I'm totally grinning right now.

Hmmm... this is a complete failure on my part as an author, but I never really considered how old Rolf was. I'm thinking that he is a few years older than Luna - (perhaps five or six) and that would explain why he's not mentioned as being at Hogwarts.

Wow. Thanks so much for your compliment about Luna. She IS a bit intimidating to write - because people love her so much. I'm just squeeing over this review so much.

Thanks again!

♥ Beth

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Review #45, by Beeezieto the end of time: My Sweetheart

14th April 2015:
Here again for BvB! (And aww, the shout-out in your A/N was so sweet and very appreciated!)

As soon as I saw the summary, I was even more excited than I usually am to read the chapter (and Iím usually pretty excited, because have I mentioned that I am loving this story? Probably).

Thereís just so much about it thatís wonderful. I love the spin youíre putting on things that we remember from the books in some chapters - seeing them through Parvatiís eyes is interesting enough on its own merits, but itís especially fascinating because weíre also seeing them through the lens of what is quickly becoming one of my favorite ships (to the extent that my head canon for my next-gen universe has rearranged a lot to make them be together after all).

There are ways in which Parvatiís reaction to the necklace and Lavenderís relationship with Ron actually mirrors Harryís, which I really liked. It made me think of a line in HBP where Harry and Parvati have a moment of being embarrassed together of their best friends in particular, as well as of Harryís being completely bemused by a lot of what they were doing. Thereís clearly also some jealousy there for Parvati, which makes perfect sense, but you didnít go overboard with it, which was perfect - sheís not just pretending to be Lavenderís friend because she wants to be with her, sheís genuinely Lavenderís friend, and for friends as close as they are, portraying everything through a lens of ďsheís so jealous!Ē would cheapen it for me. Youíre walking that line beautifully.

This was an amazing chapter. Again. I love this fic. ♥

Author's Response: Hey Branwen!

Hehe, I love that you love this story so much! It's slowly becoming one of my favorite ones to write!

Normally I shy away from anything Hogwarts-era related, just because there's so much canon already in place, but this story is just so much fun and I'm loving interpreting everything through Parvati's eyes because we only ever see Harry's perspective. It's really good for me as a writer and so much fun to write these characters.

Yes, I'm so glad that you felt like Parvati is genuinely Lavender's friend. I think that's the most important part of their relationship. Sure, there's some romantic feelings on Parvati's part, but she still genuinely cares for Lavender on a deeper level than that.

I'm so glad that you still like this story so much, it really makes my day when I get to read your reviews! Thank you so much!


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Review #46, by BeeezieThe Ides of March: Melancholy were the sounds.

14th April 2015:
Hi, Kiana! Iím back for BvB. :)

Oh, yikes. Helenaís relationship with her mother really is so fraught. I canít say I blame her, really, but itís a really thought-provoking view of Rowena that I donít think Iíve run across before. I like it a lot, though, because I think itís actually really effective at showing a darker side to a lot of the traits that are really characteristic of Ravenclaw as a house. I can see how, taken to its logical conclusion, an analytical and intellectual nature could lead to being cold and distant. Itís really thought-provoking, and it makes me wonder whether sheís like this with everyone or just her daughter.

My heart really goes out to Helena and Eleanor, because I just canít see this story having a happy ending - since, as you mention in your A/N, we know that the baron kills her, and it seems like she was still fairly young at the time.

I am wondering whether Helena and Eleanor run away after the baron arrives. Helena seems so focused on Eleanor that I canít see her falling for the baron, really (although I guess itís possible that sheíll initially be intrigued and question whether it would really be so bad, since thereís no denying that it would be easier). Itís been interesting, though, to see Eleanor voicing the same concerns Helena was in previous chapters. I wonder if sheís trying to distance herself from Helena, a little - maybe even subconsciously rather than consciously.

This was another great chapter. :) I can't wait to see what happens next!

Author's Response: Hey Branwen!

I know, it really isn't good at all, but it does change a lot later on so keep yours eye out for that. Yes, I thought it would be interesting to focus on how Ravenclaws could be just as bad as Slytherins could be, as the pursuit of intelligence and perfection can be a bad thing if taken too far, and I think that's the case with Rowena. I think with Rowena she finds her to deal with complex emotions, hence why her relationship is worse with Helena than with other people.

I know, I'm sorry but it has to happen, but there are few more things which happen before we reach that point.

Hmmm, I can't answer that as that would be giving away the rest of the story, but I will say that Helena is guided by her own will at the end of it and she does what she thinks is right. Hmm, as for the case of Eleanor, there will be more twists and turns for regarding her, but I can't say more than that.

Thanks for this fab review! ♥


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Review #47, by BeeezieThe Ides of March: Nothing thicker than a knife's blade.

14th April 2015:
Here again for BvB!

This was really heartbreaking. I hate (hate, hate) the beliefs that Helena is buying into, but I think that theyíre (unfortunately) very realistic for the time period, particularly since Helena is Rowenaís only child and thereís some stake in carrying on the family name.

And speaking of Rowena - ooh, I love the way youíve set up their relationship! Given what little we know about it, it seems likely that it was strained at best - she didnít just steal her motherís diadem and run away out of nowhere. I feel like youíve introduced a lot of nuance and room for tension in their relationship, which I really love. And, in giving Helena a good relationship with Helga, youíre making it so that she does have some adult council that she trusts, which I think is important for the story - otherwise, sheíd only be thinking about this to herself!

But the best part of the chapter was (of course) Helenaís interactions with Eleanor. I love how Helena is pulled toward Eleanor like a moth to a flame, even while sheís struggling against it - so much so, in fact, that sheís congratulating herself on managing to stay away from her for a few hours. Thatís pretty significant, and it makes the fact that by the end of the chapter sheís decided to pursue Eleanor anyway very believable.

One little bit of CC, though: while the dialogue usually comes across as being a lovely feature of the very different era, there are occasionally moments where I feel like it got a little stilted. Iím not sure if part of it is that you donít always describe people during conversations (which I think would really help convey the anguish and pain during the scenes with Helena in particular) or if itís the language itself, but either way, it might be something to look at. :)

Overall, though, this was a wonderful story. ♥ I can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Hey there Branwen!

I know, it's so sad as I really wish I could change and go back and tell them how stupid they are, but their entire belief is so, so, so rigid it took centuries to see the slightest bit of progression in it.

Aw, thank you, I was a little worried about portraying her in such a negative light especially as I'm in a Claw and all so I did feel quite bad doing it but I'm glad that you liked it. I was always interested in way Helena stole the Diadem as it seems like quite a strange thing to do, so I put a little spin on it here and I hope you like it. Yes, I always imagine Helga being a sort of guardian angel to all the Founders children so at least Helena can count on her.

Aw, thank you! I know, they have a very odd relationship but I think the reason why they need each other so much is because they're the only ones who understand what it is to be a lesbian and how they had to fight with society for who they love, but at least with one another they can be who they truly are.

Oooh, I'll definitely look into that as the dialogue is always a rather tricky to think to conquer, especially making it time appropriate so it could probably do with some reviewing, thanks for pointing that out!

Thanks for this great review Branwen ♥


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Review #48, by Beeezieto the end of time: The Yule Ball

12th April 2015:
Back for BvB! (Aw, Iím on the last chapter - please reassure me and say youíll be putting more up soon? No pressure, of course. :P)

Huh - what you did here is really interesting! Iíd always kind of wondered when Lavender developed her crush on Ron, and I like this interpretation of it. I can see Lavender only getting the confidence in her sixth year to act on it, especially since Lavender-as-a-teenager seems like she might have been the sort to enjoy mooning over someone for years. I donít know about you, but the melodrama was strong with me when I was that age! :P Itís funny, though, because sheís so confident about pretty much everything that isnít super personal.

Which in some ways is also true of Parvati herself. There are a million and one reasons a fourteen year old wouldnít want to tell her (female) best friend she has feelings for her, particularly when said friend is trying to set her up with other people and mooning over Ron Weasley. (Oh, Lavender. Why??) But it also feels like part of Parvati is... not enjoying, exactly, but invested in? this unrequited love. Iím not sure sheíd know quite what to do if Lavender did tell her she had feelings for her.

But thatís what makes this so realistic. Teenagers, especially young teenagers, really do tend to be so unsure of themselves even when they arenít queer. When they are, that just adds a new layer of complication to an already complicated equation.

Quick nitpick - Parvati went to the Ball with Harry, and Padma went with Ron. I think that the conflict between Parvati and Lavender could have just as easily come because Parvati set Ron up with someone else, of course, but I thought Iíd mention it.

Overall, though, this was wonderful. I wish there was another chapter for me to read! ♥

Author's Response: To answer your question: yes, I have the next chapter written and everything and I'll post it later this week :)

I know the books and everything make it seem like she only started to like him when he started to get "interesting," but I feel like Lavender would be the kind of girl who did exactly what you described and drag out the crush, much to her friends' (mostly Parvati's) annoyance. She had to have had some sort of attraction to him before sixth year or else I don't think her sudden infatuation would have made any sense.

Yeah, you're definitely right. I think Paravti has been attracted to Lavender for so long without any reciprocation that she'd be lost if Lavender actually returned the feelings. And I think that also has something to do with the fact that she realized that she liked Lavender quite early and hasn't actually had any experience with people liking her back.

So after you said that, I went back and realized that when I first wrote this, I looked up that Parvati went with Harry but that was about a month ago and when I went back to edit before I uploaded it, I completely forgot and wrote that in. But I just changed it, so hopefully that's fixed soon haha.

I love seeing your reviews on this and I'm so happy you enjoy it so much! Don't worry, the wait shouldn't be too long!


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Review #49, by BeeezieSilent Rumors: A Kidnapping

12th April 2015:
Wow. Yeah, these people really could use a reality check, unless theyíre just using this ďrevenge on the purebloodsĒ as a smokescreen for another motivation. Ernie is so far from an enemy to the Muggleborns and halfbloods that this actually offends me on his behalf.

But I think people who kidnap small children and threaten people who havenít done anything probably arenít usually the most reasonable, and there are certainly plenty of people in the world who do things that I will never be able to understand.

What Iím still not clear about is what they want, which I like - youíre definitely unravelling this story little by little, which is cool (though a little maddening, since itís not all up yet!). I mean, why kidnap Lydia, Max, and Cara if they were just going to go after Ernie immediately anyway? And if they donít want the Aurors involved, why on earth would they cover his yard red and and write ďAtonement Is ComingĒ on his door? Ernie wouldnít need to tell the Aurors anything at this point - theyíre not blind, and it seems likely that someone will notice this!

This is all so intriguing - I feel like we havenít even scratched the surface of what these people really want, yet.

One tiny thing, though: at the beginning of the chapter, you say that Ernie is careful not to wake Lydia when he gets up... but when he gets downstairs, sheís there feeding their kids. I know that thereís a shower in between his getting up and going downstairs, but even so, showers usually donít take very long, and for her to go from fast asleep to feeding their kids seemed a little quick.

That aside, though, this was wonderful, and I really wish there was more to read!

Author's Response: Hello again!

The "revenge on purebloods" thing is the main motivation, but it becomes apparent quickly that it is a very warped view of this. I imagine this group being quite radical in their views.

As far as the kidnapping and flashy graffiti, it gets explained eventually in Atonement Is Coming. It definitely continues to unravel little bit by little bit.

Your point about the timing is noted and I will make some adjustments to it when I go through and edit. You're right, she'd have to be flash to wake the kids, make breakfast, etc. before Ernie got out of the shower.

Thank you again for your lovely reviews!


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Review #50, by BeeezieSilent Rumors: A Letter

12th April 2015:
Hey, here for our swap! Iím not sure how much time Iím going to have, but both this and Atonement Is Coming look super intriguing, so hopefully Iíll be able to get caught up on both. :P

I really enjoy that you opened this story with Ernie MacMillan getting a threatening letter. In the books, we saw that not all purebloods or pureblood families are created equal, and we know that Ernie is accepting and actively invested in equal rights for Muggleborns - since, you know, as he says, he was on the right side in the war. It makes it clear that what weíre dealing with here is probably essentially a hate crime rather than simple revenge (whatever the letter writer wants to believe).

I also thought that you did an excellent job of working a lot of little details into the narrative rather than leaving them either unclear or explicitly stating them in an awkward way. Ernie is married and has multiple children, which means itís probably safe to say that the war has been over for awhile - Iím thinking that either one of the trials for the Death Eaters was super prolonged or they had to be hunted down after Voldemort fell because they fled. Itís a really nice touch, and it also makes me wonder about why people looking for revenge on all purebloods, any purebloods... well, are choosing now.

I also think the war has probably been over, actually, because Ernieís making some choices that I think could really come back to haunt him. I can see that happening if heís lapsed into a sense of security (not sure whether Iíd call it false, but itís definitely not honed) that I donít think would have happened with the war still at the forefront of his mind. While I wanted to leap through the screen and into the story to yell at him, I can totally see why heíd feel like this, and you made this reaction make a lot of sense.

You also really left me wondering whether that shadow was indeed a cat. In a movie, it would definitely not be a cat, but in real life, sometimes your eyes and ears really do just play tricks on you when youíre afraid... so basically, I need to read on immediately, because I need to know!

This is really intriguing - amazing job! I canít wait to read the next chapter! (So Iím going to go do that. Now. :P)

Author's Response: Hey Beeezie!

Thank you for swapping with me!

So this story is supposed to be taking place a little under 5 years after the war ended. I imagine that it would've taken a very long time to round up and have trials for all of the Death Eaters. In real life, post war trials can take a decade or more, so I thought this time frame seemed realistic.

It is also, as you pointed out, enough time for Ernie to start becoming complacent again. All of the criminals are being locked up, so he feels he has nothing left to fear.

The plot will only develop so far in this little short story because it's the prequel. Atonement Is Coming is where we really start to understand why Purebloods are being attacked and who is doing it!

Thank you so much for swapping with me! I'm glad you enjoyed it!


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