this was great juney! :)Author's Response: Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it!^^ Report Review
PERFECT ENDING OF PERFECT STORY IS PERFECT.
I know there's still the epilogue to go but still. Report Review
This wasn't rubbish! It was really well written, although I think it could do with a little more description. I saw a couple of mistakes, nothing too major, just 'resteraunt' should be 'restaurant', and here: 'it was bond to happen sometime.' it should be 'bound', not 'bond'.
Other than those small typos, which didn't disrupt the flow of the story or anything, it was great. I really like the way you characterized Luna, and showed how the war had changed her, that she became more down-to-earth after what she had experienced.
Looking forward to the next chapter! :) xAuthor's Response: Yeah, I know. My word processor didn't show any options so I'm planning on getting a beta xD.
Thanks! That's really sweet of you to say! :) And I was thinking that Luna couldn't really be the same after the war. The fact that she saw so much probably changed her, even if it was the littlest bit. Thanks for reviewing again :D Report Review
hey! I'm reviewing this because I saw it was short and homework is boring. so yeah. Anyways, I liked this. I saw quite a few grammatical mistakes/weird wording but other than that it was great, even though a little short. Hope it's updated soon! :)Author's Response: Thanks! You know how grammar plagues me... And I hope it's updated soon too! ;)
Mike. :D Report Review
HI JUNEY :D
Sorry it took me so long to review this, I got distracted trying to write stuff. So yeah.
Anyway I really liked this :D Having a character called the name of my favourite sweet is awesome.
This sentence really confused me though:
'Well, let me describe it to all you mentally challenged legilimens:'
It just... didn't make sense. Well it might do, I just don't know what the plural form of legilimens is. And why are the audience legilimenses in the first place?
Also you should just read it through, 'cause I spotted quite a few spelling and grammar mistakes.
Other than that though, this was great! You could add a little more description, and using the cruciatus curse was a little drastic, but oh well (it's evil, who cares? :D)
Kali's characterization was really clear, and I thought that this was a great introductory chapter :D xxAuthor's Response: The audience are legilimens because it's happening in her head and who else could read this in her head? :P Dunno, it made sense when I wrote it xD
Yeah I know it was drastic, it'll make sense in a few chapters :P
Ps: What's your favorite sweet? Report Review
I thought that this was a nice introductory chapter, but I think think to improve it you could add more detail and expand upon it, to give the reader a better picture and feel of her character and friends. Also, I spotted a couple of grammatical mistakes, so I'd suggest just reading it over quickly to fix those. Overall though, I enjoyed reading it, and I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes. (I'll read the rest later/tomorrow, as I have to go now) =D xAuthor's Response: Thank you so much!
Thanks for the criticism I do need it, and i shall try to look back on the errors when I have time :)
As for the detail, I totally agree but I'm a lazy person so I'm not gonna add any more of that, I'm trying with my other story though...
I hope you enjoy it! :)) xx
Ooohh this was a good chapter! It was well written, like the first, although there were a couple of grammatical mistakes. =) I love the idea of the competition, and THAT WAS AN EVIL CLIFFHANGER YOU ENDED ON! I WANT TO KNOW WHO GETS CHOSEN! So... You could update soon? Please? =DAuthor's Response: I will!! Thank you for reviewing! I'll talk to you on the forums soon! :) Report Review
Hi K! This was awesome! I really like the idea of a part of Azkaban that is nicer than where the Death Eaters are kept. =) I'm looking forawrd to the next chapter, and thanks so much for doing my challenge! =D
- Amy xAuthor's Response: Ur very welcome my Amington!
This chapter was great! You expanded on all the characters' personalities really nicely, and their relationships with the marauders are quite different to in usual fanfics, which I really like and makes your story really interesting. =)
Like the previous chapter, this was really well written. I didn't spot any mistakes, and I especially liked the part about injections. I'm really wondering where you are going to take this story, because it's so good so far! =D
The whole story has a really nice feel to it, and I hope you update soon! 10/10! =D xxAuthor's Response: Hey! thanks so much =D
I'm trying to make the relationships as original as possible, so I'm happy you said that *grins*
Hmm...the injections bit...I'm not 100% sure why I put it in there! I might take it somewhere else... :)
Thanks so much! LWG xxx Report Review
This was brilliant, I loved it! It was really well written, and funny as well. =) I loved the starting line/paragraph especially, all about wishes, with the rhetorical questions. And the last line: Unicorns are nice and sparkly. That made me laugh. =D
I spotted one small mistake here: ' I never knew you found Biccie! I thought you just bought her.” ' There should be an opening speech mark at the start. Apart from that it was perfect! =)
The characterisation here is brilliant - all the characters seem different enough to be interesting, but not so different that they wouldn't get along. You've really well given each character a clear personality, especially Marlene (as it is told from her point of view, so you would probably expect that).
Overall, this was a great introductory chapter, and I really enjoyed reading it. =D
- Amy xAuthor's Response: Hi! Thanks so much for the amazing review. This is really helpful to me as I actually don't really like this first chapter and am thinking about changing/editing it.
I hope my characters are different and not Mary-Sues! I am trying to make Marlene kind of sarcastic/funny and Lily Pretty in Pink but with a fun streak.
Thanks again, LWG xx Report Review
HELLO! LOOK AT ME READING AND REVIEWING YOUR FIRST CHAPTER! I'm really scared, 'cause NaNo starts in half an hour, but I'm still reviewing, because I'm lovely like that =)
THIS WAS AWESOME! Seriously, like, funny and that, and the hatred of pygmy puffs really amused me. I don't know why though, 'cause I love pygmy puffs... Anywaaay I don't know why (actually, I explained why...) but Alyssa reminded me of me a bit, 'cause in the summary you said she loves chocolate and evil, and she got excited by the prospect of killing something... Not that that ever happens of course...
So yeah, awesome chapter introduction thing... Amy likes... And Amy wants chocolate... Omnomnomnom... DO I GET SOME FOR REVIEWING? PLEAAASSSE?
~AMY (THE AWESOME) =D XxxAuthor's Response: YOU GET SYMBOLIC CHOCOLATE!!! :D
Thanks so much for reviewing!! I'm happy you like it!! Oh and Alyssa doesn't like evil. she likes E.V.I.L.
(It stands for something. You'll see what in a few chapters! ;) )
-June Report Review
Helloo! (Yes, I am aware that I still owe you a review for Greyback's story, but I'm reviewing this now too =P)
THIS WAS REALLY GOOD! You portrayed the emotions of the character really well, and the descrption was great. I'm sad now. Which I suppose is a good thing, as it is meant to be sad? Maybe? Hopefully? I don't know.
ANYWAY THIS WAS AWESOME! =D 10/10
-Amy =DAuthor's Response: Well I forgot about this! XD I was just thinking that I don't get many reviews and POOF! Here you are!
:D Thanks! Yep you are supposed to be sad :P It's the point.
Mike. THHHAAANANKKKSSS Report Review
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!... It's only a couple of hours late...
I loved this. So, so much. The imagery is beautiful, and the description was amazing throughout. Just... Wow. SUCH A GOOD ONE SHOT! I just wish it was longer. =)
I can't believe I'm saying this, but I actually quite like this pairing now...
Amy =)Author's Response: Thank you dear! And no one cares about being late, in the US of A, I'm still birthdayish x)
And ahh, me and my short one shots... why does everyone complain! xD Nah, kiddin'
Yay! More Pius/Rufus shippers... it's so believable isn't it? x)
^^ Report Review
AW! THAT WAS SO CUTE! *fangirlish squeal*
...Sorry, I love Harry/Ginny.
This was so well written, and the different moments in their relationship all fitted together well which gave a really nice picture. It all flowed really nicely, and there were no grammatical or spelling errors at all that I could see =). Overall this was a brilliant, brilliant one shot that I loved! =D
~Amy xAuthor's Response: AW THANK YOU!
Never be sorry for the love of Harry and Ginny! Harry and Ginny stories bring world peace!
I'm so thrilled that you liked it :)
Lizzie Report Review
LOOK! IT'S ME! AND I'M REVIEWING! AND IT TOOK ME AGES! 'CAUSE I SAID I'D REVIEW LIKE 30 MINUTES AGO! BUT I DON'T CARE 'CAUSE NOW I'M REVIEWING! ARE YOU HAPPY THAT I'M REVIEWING? YOU BETTER BE HAPPY. OR I WILL CRY. AND SEND YOU VIRTUAL AVADA KEDAVRA VIBES. Okay maybe that's a bit mean. We'll go with rictusempra instead =D
SO A REVIEW! AND IT WILL BE CONSTRUCTIVE, I PROMISE.
I LIKED THIS CHAPTER. I DID. IT MADE ME LAUGH WHICH IS FUNNY BECAUSE IT IS SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME LAUGH. HEHEHEHEHE GET IT? No, I don't either. =P
PLEASE UPDATE SOON. SIRIUSLY. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS! I CAN TELL THAT THE NEXT CHAPTER IS GOING TO BE AWESOME BECAUSE IT WILL HOPEFULLY INCLUDE THE APRIL DRESS-UP-NESS AND IF IT DOESN'T Then I will be sad. And no-one wants Amy to be sad.
So yeah, I liked this chapter, but I think I spotted a spelling mistake somewhere. LOOK AT THAT CONSTRUCTIVENESS! VIEW IT! OBSERVE IT! EAT IT IF YOU WANT! (It probably tastes of chocolate)
Now I think that this review was very reviewish and meant a lot to you. 'Cause you love my random reviews in your heart DON'T YOU? Yes, you do.
LOVING THE CHAPTER! BYE! =D X
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAuthor's Response: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REVIEWING IN AWESOME CAP-LOCKS!!! :P
And for being so amazingly constructive!! :P
That's okay because I don't like CC, I like love, happiness and hyperness and it's even better when in cap-locks!! :D
I'm super glad you liked it and it made you laugh!! :D Report Review
YAY! This was awesome. Seriously, amazing. Most definitely the strangest fic I have ever read, which makes it more awesome. I loved the constant use of "Roar" through it as well - YAY FOR SORTING HAT/LUNA'S LION HAT BRILLIANCE! =DAuthor's Response: Lol! Thank you, and for you I'm writing the sequel: 'Lion's Hat First Word Is..' make an educated guess? Ghaha, no, don't guess, it's too tiring!
THANK YOU DEAR! Report Review
OOHHH WOW THIS WAS RATHER FUN WASN'T IT?
As I am a nice and good reviewer I will give some constructive criticism because I am less hyper now. Well, me thinks that this was an awesome chapter (yay for epic werewolves!) but it just seemed a little... Rushed. Though that may have been the desired effect, as it was a fast moving plot bit at the end. I think that when he was being put in Azkaban though, there could have been more description, so we get a better feel as to what it was like (even though he wasn't there for long). *is trying to sound clever but probably failing*
I really liked the beginning though, with the introduction to all the memories, giving a nice introduction to the story. I also really like the tone and style of writing, though there were a couple of grammatical errors (which are easy to edit!), but they didn't really detract from the story.
Gosh, I'm sounding all proper and reviewey, aren't I? THIS HARDLY EVER HAPPENS! Oohh look, some nice caps lock to make it sound more like me again XD You can probably tell my hyperness has worn off...
GREAT STORY THOUGH MIKE! 'CAUSE IT WAS WEREWOLVES, AND WEREWOLVES ARE COOL, AND IT WAS AZKABAN, AND THAT'S ALSO COOL, AND YAY!
... Mostly worn off...Author's Response: Werewolves are amazing :P Chapter 3 is when this get's better grammatically. I grow a lot in the process of writing this, like... A LOT. Anyways, glad you liked it! :D *ForeShadowing, there's death later... Like chapter 10 later... I haven't even written ch 5*
Oh yeah, my writing style was rushed-like when I started writing (As this is one of my first 5 chapters) sooo It slows down (After the super fast next chapter >. Report Review
This chapter was brilliant. Mental, insane, and completely random. So brillianter. Just like me. Meheheh.
OH LOOK! It says in the A/N that I get cookies for reviewing this mighty-fine-spiffulant-absolutely-top-hole-a-ding-dang chapter! YAY! *happy dance for cookies* Did you like my new adjective there? It is rather splendiferous, if I do say so myself =P.
So the actual story! Though why anyone would say anything about the actual STORY in a review is completely beyond me. Oh well.
I LIKE THE SPONTANEOUS DYING OF THE HAIR. SUCH FUN!
I LIKE THE LIST. THE LIST IS OFFICIALLY AWESOME.
I LIKE THE FUNNYNESS OF IT. THE FUNNYNESS MADE ME LAUGH.
I LIKE THE LACK OF CHOCOLATE IN THIS CHAPTER. THE LACK OF CHOCOLATE MEANS THERE IS MORE CHOCOLATE IN THE WORLD FOR ME.
I think this was a very constructive review, don't you? Yes, it was.
BYE =D xxAuthor's Response: That was the most supercalifragilisticexpialidocious review EVER!! (not that I know what supercalifragilisticexpialidocious actually means BUt it is a cool word!)
Here are your *virtual* cookies. Did I mention they were virtual? SORRY!! :P I'm so glad you like it!! :D
THANK YOU! :D Report Review
Well well well look at this! It seems we are rather good at humour after all! Meheheh. Lysander is truly epic in this story. Seriously, he is epic. I like Lysander, 'cause Lysander is evil and awesome. Yeah. So this story is also awesome, and I will R&R the next chapter tomorrow. Probably. Remind me if I forget? What if you forget? THEN THERE WILL BE NO ONE TO REMIND ME AND THIS STORY WILL DIE BECAUSE IT IS LACKING THE CHOCOLATE AND AMY LOVE IT NEEDS TO SURVIVE!Author's Response: YAY!!!
I thought you were going to say Jack Black was always right and that quote wasn't an exception! (In probably nicer terms though :P)
I love that you love Lys!! I love him too!!
Thank you for giving chocolate and Amy love to this story! :D Report Review
WOW THAT WAS AMAZING! And for non-slash as well... I'm very impressed (and still in shock that it was not slash!) XD.
BUT IT WAS SO GOOD! It was so beautifully written and it was all second person and YAY! I love second person.
This is a very... Reviewish review isn't it? Amazing one shot though... =D 10/10! =DAuthor's Response: Thank you, dear! ^^ And yeah, non-slash, do you get that? I don't... XD
You love 2nd person? You're one of the few.
And reviews should be reviewish, shouldn't they? WOOT! Report Review
Hey K! This was awesome. Loving the last scentence there as well =). I just wish there was more! Bye =) xxAuthor's Response: Awww thanks A iz really nice of you to review unlike some people *cough May *cough Even though *cough I *cough wrote this *cough story for *cough her! (sorry sore throat;) Report Review
Wow Katy that was really really really good!
Now because it was so awesome (and long! I like long stories...) I'm going to give it a big proper review! =D
There were a few mistakes with speech marks, you have to remember to start all bits of speech with a capital letter and make sure you end with a punctuation mark before you close off the speech, like so: '“who’s afraid of the big bad wolf?”' needs a capital letter for 'Who's', and '“When I change I’ll recognise you if you’re wearing it”' there should be a comma after the it, so just remember to check all your punctuation. =D
'Her pale ice-blue darted across the paper.' I'm assuming should be ice-blue eyes. Also I think it might sound better if in this bit near the end: '“Right come here”', there was a comma, so it read as: “Right, come here,”. Then again, that might just be me!
I hope you find this helpful, I am giving hopefully constructive and not mean sounding criticism to my lovely K.
I just loved it, 'cause I love Tedtoire and YAY! (And I'm sorry it took me so long to review =/, so very sorry...) So yeah. The story fitted in with the song really well and YAY! I'm happy. =D BYE! XAuthor's Response: aw thank you thats really nice, but I mean come on It's me! no matter what you do I will always be terrible at english! X
P.S. I'm gonna go cheack if you've updated ur story. x Report Review
This was brilliant! There aren't many fics about a fan-girl, so this was really great to read! Your characterizations so far are perfect, exactly as I would expect people of that nature to be like. What you have so far is a really good introduction, and it seems like whatever the plot will be it will be very interesting. Also this was really well written, and flowed brilliantly. Awesome start! =DAuthor's Response: Thank you for your review! :D (again :P) Thank you , thank you! This review basically made my day! I'm glad you liked it! :) Report Review
This was really good, and gave Michael lots of character development. =)Author's Response: Thanks :D All reviews make me happy!
Mike. Report Review
I must admit, I'm not too fond of Sirius and Lily as pairing (I love J/L too much, and am a stickler for canon), but this was really good! Your writing style is very good, and I like Sirius' personality: it was very clear throughout. Just one thing, in the second chapter I think Tonks was sharing a dorm with Lily, but Tonks is supposed to be a few years younger. Then again, if it is essential to the plot, it's not that important :). Oh, and I think to make it even better, you could write longer chapters (I lurrve long chapters!). Really good story, looking forward to an update! =DAuthor's Response: Aww thanks so much!!
I wasn't sure exactly how to portray Sirius but I'm glad you like it anyway :D
I had no idea that Tonks was younger, whoops. Hopefully it doesn't count too much!
Thanks sooo much for your time in writing this review! :D Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection