Aww, well, I think Kaden's right, that's as good as it's gonna get with Vernon :) Great job!
I liked how you did Dudley and Christina, and Kaden's little sister, she was cute :) Report Review
I loved this chapter!! The dueling, and especially the possibility that Alice came up with Mad-eye's name!lolol
It's also funny that Lily, Head Girl, skipped class to talk about boys. James is definitely rubbing off on her lol.
There were a couple spelling errors, but nothing that'd be caught by spell check 'cause they were still words.
I like that you had Alice and Frank get into a fight. It isn't realistic if there aren't any, but I'm glad you ended it with the outlook like this:
“James and you love each other, and if you end up staying together it will take work. Just like everything else. But I bet it’ll be worth it.”
This is the kind of thing I love to hear, it takes it from fiction, to life lesson, just like that.
Really great job!!Author's Response: Hi there! I'm so happy you liked this chapter!
I've been wanting one of them to come up with Mad-Eyes name for so long, and Alice is usually so sweet that the fact that she sort of thought of a funny name that she used in her own head made me giggle. I'm really glad you liked that.
I went through and hopefully got the spelling errors corrected! Thank you!
Awww I'm so happy you liked that line and that it can sort of bring FF into a life lesson. That's such an awesome compliment ♥
Thank you so much for this awesome review!
Jami Report Review
Very cute ending. I'm very sad to see it go, it was really fun! Plus, now I'm like, what kind of cases is she going to get with her cousin?? Will they find a cure/better potion to help his lycanthropy? I do really like the way you ended it with that even with the unknown future, it'll be less scary together.
Congrats on a great story!
Woot, first review on last chappie :) Report Review
Oh boy, I see ridiculousness ensuing throughout this story. Very silly :D
I've never figured out how the whole fantasy league works so it's funny I'll be kind of learning about it through Quidditch :P
I'm loving that Rose just got a great big favor from him just like that, I wonder what that will turn out to be :)
Good job! Report Review
I liked this, I've been wondering what's been going through his head, and even when the character is Lily, I feel like we know both characters pretty well, and it shows us how close they are.
I did really hope this was going to be a continuation.. but I guess not. It does really well as a one shot though :)Author's Response: I'm really glad you liked it! It was really interesting to explore what went on in Matt's head, especially since I'd never done anything from his POV before, despite the fact that so many of my fics have revolved around him. Sorry, it's not a continuation! Thanks for reading and reviewing! :) Report Review
Awww, this one is so sweet :D The fact that he's thinking of kids is a good sign, he must Really love her. I mean if there's any chance she could accidentally get pregnant, he'd want her to know what she's in for.
I didn't think about how they wouldn't live as long as regular wizards.. hmm. It probably would be that much harder to deal with in old age.
Wait wait wait... You're ending the story now?? or is it continuing in Blue Moon??
There's so much more the story can do! I hope you're just continuing it there!
Great job hun :)Author's Response: He does really love her. He's thinking of kids, but he's not sure if he wants any at this point. Lily, of course, does not. But that could change.
I've always imagined turning into a wolf and back again once a month would take its toll on one's body and would definitely be harder in old age. I am ending it after the epilogue, which is next. Blue Moon is just a companion one-shot. Thanks for reading and reviewing! :) Report Review
It does feel like we were waiting as long as it felt Gwen had to wait lol.
That's okay though, 'cause this was a great chapter! I didn't realize that the only one to call her by her full name last was her father. Interesting.
There are definitely things that make me think she still loves James way more than Joshua, just for the fact there are still things she's clamming up talking about, like the full name. That and just how she acts around James even with Joshua there.
Really good job overall!Author's Response: Haha, yeah, I bet it did d: And I'm really sorry about that! But I'm back now!
Yeah, that's right. She has let Joshua a lot closer than anyone else, but she's still not quite there yet with him.
Thank you for your lovely review ♥ Report Review
Well, it sounds like the new keeper will do really well :) There wasn't anything about the seeker though, but maybe no one new tried out for it?
As much as it could happen that a person from another house could try out without being caught, I don't know about twins from gryffindor and slytherin. I mean maybe it could happen, but it just seems a stretch that they would do that for a quidditch team. I know twins can be in different houses, it's just being spies too that made it seem a bit more unlikely.
I would have thought they might use the invisibility cloak.
Anyway, it was still fun to see her starting to get into captain mode :)
good job Report Review
AAArg! not the misunderstandings again!! I understand why and everything but Arg.. Things will get better too, but still Arg.. lol Report Review
:( sad. But I guess this is the point where things are really moving forward with George and moving past all the pain of losing Fred. Fred will always be with him whether he sees him or not. Report Review
Aw jeez, you're too adorable! Talk about fluff!! It definitely reminds me of how my boyfriend and I feel about each other and how much we probably need to be with each other rather than trying to work alone to get there.. I still don't know how that's going to work, but we'll see sometime soon.
The whole thing is just too cute for words, very perfect... maaybe some cute prank might have been a nice touch, I don't know what, but it'd bring a little more of his or even Fred's personality into such a special moment, either way.. Soo cute :D Report Review
I hope she gets the note!! The last thing that needs to happen is for something like that to go wrong lol.
Lovely. Report Review
D'aaaww :D There he goes being adorable again.
Another couple things to point out :)
to insure their safety, but he was more than willing to do them all. But first, he had--- I don't think the 'buts' are needed. The first can be 'and' and the second can just be cut out.
they made a small appear at the corner of his lips--- here you just missed the word 'smile'
Another very sweet chappie :D I'm glad you involved Ron and Ginny, as much as I love Hermione and George I do love seeing the other characters too. It'll be a work in progress though since they're both getting used to being around other people still.
Good job! Report Review
This was so sweet, her finding out about twins.. It's just sad that these nightmares/ real or otherwise are affecting them so much.. At least she has George there for her, and Fred too since he shows up to both of them if I remember right. He'll protect her.
Just a couple typos I found:
on my hands.” Hermione said, so quietly as if it were a secret. --- hands," Hermione
she had fallen of the rocker,-- off
Really good job :) Report Review
This one was a lot better, and now more interesting too, I'm wondering what she's going to have Megan do :)
The conversation with the table was silly lol.
The one typo I did find:
constant starting--- staring
It can only get better from here!
good job :)
Thanks for review swapping, let me know if you want to again :) Report Review
Sooo we have another character :) I like Megan so far, and now we know how Anna can be a little violent lol, at least to pillows.
I noticed you have a tendency to repeat the same words unnecessarily, it'd be good to read through the chapters and make sure the sentences flow too, sometimes they're awkwardly worded. These aren't things that get in the way too much, but there are readers who are very picky about some things so I just thought I'd say so :)
Here's the typos I found
With frustration I f lopped-- flopped
Potters and Wesley’s-- Weasley's
Hmm, a voting could be fun... and a sneaky way to get reviewers lol.
This was a fun chapter to see more of her personality and her friend :) Report Review
Hmm, this was a really different spin on the characters, plus of course adding a Quidditch Professor. I know Madam Hooch taught it to first years, and was referee, but this gives that position something else to do. Plus I think there should be more direction for captains.
There were a few typos:
represent you respective houses-- your
I stayed calm as a picked Malfoy's hand from my shoulder--- I picked
All in all, pretty different plot line, having to make the worst team to the best... she should have a back up plan to get the money though lol. Report Review
That was a really intriguing ending! This could really be a great story with a few little tweaks. For example there are quite a few sentences that are awkwardly worded, their pretty easy to find either a Beta would help or to just go over it yourself. Also there was a mistake with a word "But it was much worst." Worst should be Worse.
I also think there could be a better introduction to what her name is, I personally didn't think it fit right where it was, but that could be me.
I really thought you did a great job with introducing what a mystery this story is, and the flow was really good too.
Good luck with the rest of it, this definitely has the potential for awesomeness :)
Owlpost68 (from review swap convo. sry I took so long).Author's Response: Ah, thank you for the critique. This is a little old to be absolutely honest, and your review will be brilliant to take a look at while I'm trying to rewrite it properly. I do have some... bad typos, don't I? I seem to do that a lot.
Thank you for the brilliant review. I'll have your share of the swap as soon as I can, thank you. Report Review
This was great :D I can't believe it either that he'd want to get married, it is a good thing he didn't tell Rose lol. I'm sorry to see Matt getting "sick" every month... sounds like something we're all familiar with, except Lilly :P I'm so glad she decided not to have Bradley investigate, it would be the easy way, but probably wouldn't end up easy later. Plus, Al, Rose and everyone who knows prolly really wouldn't have let her be with him if she would really object to it.
I honestly love this story, great job hun!Author's Response: I'm glad you liked the chapter! Haha, yeah, Rose would've had a lot to say on the matter if Albus had told her ahead of time.
If Lily had had Bradley investigate it would've been the end of her relationship with Matt, and it would've seriously hurt her relationship with Albus. So she made the right decision there! Thanks for reading and reviewing! :) Report Review
Just "one" spelling error. Instead it should have been "won us control.."
Either way though, this is definitely interesting! I was a little unsure what everyone's ages were but now it's clear.
I'll be favoriting this one, so I hope you continue it :) Report Review
I do love this idea! I had reviewed the 1st chapter a long time ago, but I guess I didn't get to the rest.
The one thing I have a little problem with is the Hat. I think it could have given her a little more choice or maybe brought up some points to get her to make the decision herself, but then again, maybe it does just see what's really inside that person when they don't quite yet. This will be really interesting.
good job! Report Review
wow. This puts Such a different spin on what Hermione goes through now. I personally love the scene where Hermione leaves her home in the movie, and even when I know it's not what happens, I feel like it definitely could have, and that takes talent! I hope you continue this story, 'cause now I'm wondering what other scenes you could make incredible. Report Review
lol, I know, my mind keeps wandering too:P but I did just update my story so hopefully my muse will come back.
This chapter was a little confusing, but it was meant to be, I can definitely imagine what it was like though, I've had some distant relatives that I've met briefly too. So, different circumstances, but similar feeling.
(I found that I had reviewed your other chapters as well, so now I've done them all! I did remember bits of it, but I don't think I've read up to this chapter. Good job.) Report Review
just so you know, if Charlie really had gotten on the quidditch team in first year, it would mean that Harry wasn't the youngest in a century.. also, the game goes by 10 points each so it couldn't have been 55 to 70.
I did like the qudditch match though, it was interesting with charlie getting hurt, and the banter between him and bill, then it was fun to see phoebe realizing how big her family really is now.
A few mistakes, but still, a fun read.Author's Response: Thanks for the review but I researched what you said and Harry Potter was the youngest seeker in a century not the youngest quidditch player. Charlie was one of the chasers. I'll take on your point about the quidditch points though :)
I liked the end bit with Tonks, she reminded me of Ron in the 3rd movie yelling about spiders lol.
Phoebe seems so confused, I think Dumbledore should know that so much uncertainty in a kids life is horrible. Even if it's "honoring the mother's wishes" What about phoebe?? Doesn't she deserve something after the complicated life of living with a family that only seems to like her sometimes?
Anyway, I think this chapter did pretty well at emphasizing what was really important to her. Report Review
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