oh my goodness, this is completely amazing! I was so sucked in almost from the beginning, and I love how you showed her gradual fall from normality into insanity; how her innocent hopes twisted and transformed. Gah! It was just so scary by the end - I ended up getting shivers all down my spine - and you ended it on such a terrifying note!
I loved it so much because you've managed to show us how Bellatrix managed it, rationalising it. When you had her describing her happiness at torturing it was just so nasty and I hated being put in her place because it was so effective. You've done such a wonderful(ly scary) job characterising everyone!Author's Response: Thank you so much!! I was a bit worried about what people would think because I thought a lot of time passed very quickly. But I'm really glad you thought it was good!! xx :) Report Review
aargh I am SO sorry that it's taken me this long to review! I am a terrible gifter (& I also apologise for the incorrect gifting name, I apparently can't sign out?)
anyhoo, I absolutely LOVED this chapter! The developments with Sirius and the Marauders kept me grinning all the way through, as I do love however you write your Sirius and Remus. Remus is such a strong character the way you've written him, with secrets but a big heart, and I am very excited to find out what has happened/will happen to him!
Similarly, I LOVED James' development at the end of the chapter. Since he was best friends with Sirius in canon (I think?) I've been wondering how exactly they would bond in this. I think you brought them together wonderfully, as Sirius begins to be accepted more - although the tension from the issue of magic keeps us from getting too relaxed!
I loved the development of Sirius' world with his trip to the village, as the poor village opened his eyes a lot and it contrasted nicely with the values and living of the other Blacks up at the castle. Sirius being worried about Regulus really made me feel for him, though! It was a massive relief when he heard that all was okay, even though we already knew that... oops.
I do like hearing about the rest of the Black family - well, Cissy in particular, but it sort of keeps the soap-opera element without it becoming too absorbed with drama. Cissy's scenes reminded me quite a lot of the feasts in the Song of Ice and Fire series, actually! Your interpretations of refined Lucius and less-refined Lestranges were really fun to read, and I always get far too caught up in your storytelling!
I do hope it won't be too long before the next chapter is up - I am enjoying the development of characters & the world immensely!
~Yolanda Yaxley the Yuletide YakAuthor's Response: Haha, it's okay, Lottie! I knew it was you at this point, so I'm not to concerned about the name. :)
Aw, the Marauders are my favorite to write. I'm excited for their next chapter and I hope you continue to follow this story for when I eventually update. Remus is definitely a strong character and we'll find out more about his past (as we will find out about the rest of their pasts as well).
James can be a little rough around the edges, but he obviously has a reason for it. They will definitely bond more in future chapters. I cannot write a Marauder story without bromance. Hopefully the magic issue won't be too much of an issue soon, but it will be brought up in various parts of the story, not necessarily related to the Marauders.
The poor village is definitely a key point and it will definitely be brought up again (the whole contrast between the royalty and the villagers will play a huge role in this story).
It's a bit hard with rotating POVs because we learn things earlier than the other characters so hopefully that isn't too off-putting for some people.
I actually was watching Game of Thrones, which sparked the inspiration for this chapter, so I find it funny you got that vibe from the feast. I'm excited to play more with the inhabitants and the castle and to write more of the Lestranges and Lucius to broaden my horizons a little bit with different characters.
I'm going to really try to get a chapter written this week while I'm on break, so keep your eyes peeled! Report Review
I CANNOT TAKE THIS OVERLOAD OF AWESOMENESS
IT'S JUST THAT I LOVE IT SO MUCH
AND IT'S PERFECT
AND I LOVE YOU TOO,
THIS IS MY BREAD FOR DUCK-LOTTIE
SCORPIUS WAS SO PERFECT AND THE WJALISYCUU!!! IT HAS ITS OWN FANFICTION! WE RUUULE!
ALL THE BLONDENESS WAS SO PERFECT
AND THE BALLET LESSONS
AND I HAVE SO MANY FEELS RIGHT NOW IT'S UNREAL THANK YOU SO SO SO SO MUCH!!!
(ALSO WE SHOULD SO HAVE MULTIPLE UNDER-UNDER-UNDER-UNDER-SECRETARIES OF WJALISYCUU!)
In slightly more sanity now, I really love you man. All the redhead-bashing was fab and this little triumph for blondeness was just the best thing evaa :3 and all the fake blondes! It's just... so unbelievably perfect and flawless and I LOVE IT. ♥
AAAHH I'M JUST GOING TO COLLAPSE IN A PIT OF LOVE NOW IF THAT'S COOL.
xoxoxoxoxAuthor's Response: WELL HURRO YOU
SO I'M JUST GOING TO PRINT OFF THIS REVIEW AND FRAME IT ON MY WALL :3
I'M SO HAPPY THAT YOU LIKE IT â¥ THERE ISN'T MUCH ELSE TO SAY I GUESS *jumps into pit of love to rescue the collapsed lottie*
xoxoxoxox Report Review
N'aww Helen, you've gone and done it again - made me cry in so few words, but they're so beautifully crafted and gorgeous and I love it so much ♥ lots of tribute-to-the-dead type one-shots can drag, or feel like they're resurrecting demons they don't need to, but this was short and sweet and while each of the four people had their tribute paid well, it was simple and effective and a lot more enjoyable than I'd have thought.
Your emotions conjured by the clever sky imagery was just so perf asdfghjkl, they represented each loss and their pain and their grief and healing so amazingly! and I just loved your structure, with Harry's toast, the person's thoughts on their loved one, and then revealing who it was and what they were doing to heal. It gave us a snapshot into each life and almost put it back together again in one quick blow.
Also, I love how you chose Remus for Harry's lost one, since he's so often forgotten in the light of Sirius :( loved it all so much, Helen! Report Review
SO MUCH DELICIOUS EVILNESS. This will be a rubbishy review because I'm heading over to your lovely PM to give proper feedback there but I do love Lila's creepiness. Such hate in a character is unusual - the only people who I feel come close are Pippa Nott and etc.etc.'s Albus - but I really enjoy it :D
It was nice to meet Roxanne! She's very enigmatic, I hope we see more of her (although the ending was slightly WTH?!-y... eh what) and she seems nicely evil too >:D and more Albus!! HE'S SO DELICIOUSLY ANTI-EVIL, I hope Lila brings him down with maximum sexual tension and minimum cliche.
I am clearly getting far too into this evil business, but I do like reading a less fiesty Lily II; it's nice and original!!
BACKSTORAY, WOOHOO~ It was awesome to know more about Lila's evil ways and why she's such a sun-sucker (fine, I made that weird word up) because all I want to do now is KNOW MOAR 8D
so FANTASTIC JOB ANNON!!
~Lottie xoxAuthor's Response: HEY THERE. Gaww this isn't a rubbish review, this is a very lovely review indeed!! Thank you. :3
Hmm yes SDF's Pippa is pretty similiar... but nicer... and less insane. There is something sort of refreshing about reading (and writing) about "evil" characters.
Yeah, Roxanne and Lila huh? It's not really a slash and it wasn't originally going to have any mention of slash but ... err ... it wrote itself? :P
Roxanne's a bit of a weirdo too - what with the whole gothic style and the tattoo.
Maximum sexual tension and minimal cliche! I like it! (but may need some help with it :3)
sun-sucker describes Lila so well omg! YAY FOR BACKSTORIES. There will be more backstory. Soon. Maybe.
xoxoxox Report Review
I may or may not have arrived for an R&R-spree :D Several things have contributed - I was rereading TAOB for, like, the fifth time and was halfway through when you won not one but TWO SHINY DOBBIES and suddenly couldn't bear not continuing to read this lovely part of the Marauders' story, and then just as I was on my way to your author page, I saw your fabulous blog! And since I was having fun debating which story to shower with your QTR riddles/SOTM reviews, this was perfect. So, in other words, HELLO HELEN.
Oooh it's such a lovely first chapter, especially with all the amaze parallels to TAOB! September 1st, Sirius, James, carriage things... asdfghjkl it's just so beautiful and made we want to cry ALREADY :'( it was refreshing to see how things had changed, though; some of our characters are so similar, some are so different, and most in the middle somewhere :P
Lily was characterised so brilliantly! From seeing her from Mary's POV to 1st-person post-Mary and post-Dad it's just fabulous how you've managed to cover that large a gap in such a relatively small word count.
It's nice to watch such drama brewing too :O feels like coming home haha! and you've laid down so many foundations for big, blow-up-type issues that suddenly feel as though they need addressing. especially now we can have another byotch-Brocklehurst (I FEEL MARY SO MUCH IN THIS). And though you're not overdoing the 'Mary's dead' thing, her presence is strong without Lily walking around with a sign over her head saying "I AM ANGSTY ABOUT THIS". It's just demonstrated nicely, and the camaraderie already coming is LUSH 8D
Yup, this cliffie officially kills me (minor one though it is) and sadly these reviews will be weirdly spaced because there's stuff I have to do now :( BUT I'LL BE BACK. xoxox Report Review
Ahh this was so, so lovely! This tiny chapter was a perfect introduction for what you're going to write, and the length was a bite-sized opener that I loved since you managed to slip in so many little details that the scene felt very rich and full anyway :3
Your characterisation of Lydia was just adorable! I find her so relatable already, with all the little details of how she can't get into real relationships and loves autumn, really helping us to identify with her. I hope you carry on putting the little things in there, because they're brilliant and I'd love to find out more about her books and high heels and butterbeer love next chapter (which I'm already excited for!!) :D
I loved the little snippet of James at the end, because he was very REAL and NORMAL and also NICE :) It was great that you didn't have Lydia immediately realising - I wonder if it'll be funny when she does - and his giving up the seat was very chivalrous and lovely :3 I'm guess-hoping that we'll see more of him, so it was great to have this quick glance through Lydia's eyes at him already!
I really hope that there'll be a longer chapter next, with a bit more of Lydia/James and her seeing him again :D I loved it all, great job!Author's Response: Thank you so much! I really appreciate your review! :) I'm glad you like James, that was my goal, for him to be normal. Thanks again for your lovely review, it certainly made my day :)
Ahh it's been too long since I (re)read TDON, but your writing has always been wonderfully easy to slip back into and all the characterisations are easy to take on after we've learnt so much in the previous chapters. Also, I love how each little section devoted to the main characters reveal a little more about the expectations and history of that person. They feel more like real, fluid people who it's easier to connect with.
Rose and her plan! I adored reading her entrance to the class from all four points of view, because it gave us delicious character insight and more Elorpius (bad ship name but hey) history. Finding out the root of the Dom/Rose hate has been something I've wanted to do for a while, and it's great to read it and be able to compare how they've changed.
It was even more interesting to see the two compared by Scorpius, who is pretty much unaffected (and thus the reason for each cousin's annoyance). Actually, another great contrast that was enjoyable - because I like the contrasts, A LOT - was Albus' point on Elodie and Scorpius together and apart. His strange watching has become something that I root for and enjoy, because he's got such a different outlook and I can't help but feel sorry for the poor guy all the time :(
I'm very excited for finding out auror-related secrets and reactions to Rose - please update soon (despite rather rambling review)! :DAuthor's Response: Hey Lottie! Thank you so much for your review - you're really too nice! :D I initially had qualms about this chapter - most specifically about the whole multiple POV things - maybe it was too confusing, too repetitive etc. I'm glad you think it worked, though! :)
Elorpius has been used before, if you can believe it. And yes, Dom and Rose hate each other massively, and that's the main reason for all of Rose's actions. She just wants to get back at her, really. And it doesn't really work...
I LOVE ALBUS HE'S SO FUN TO WRITE BECAUSE HE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO ISN'T IN LOVE OR INTERESTED IN SCORPIUS (although technically you could say that Albus is in love with Elorpius because he's obsessed with them) AND HE'S LIKE ABED OR SHERLOCK OR I DON'T KNOW I JUST LIKE HIM.
Thank you so much for your wonderful review; thank you, thank you, thank you! :D Report Review
N'aww this is just so sweet already! So sweet, and so deeply emotional and full of feeling already. I love how you've brought this scene about, how it's Astoria before she went through this hinted-at emotional transformation. And it's very, very addictive - I definitely want to come back to this story and read the next chapter!
Your descriptions were just brilliant and I adored them; it really made me feel in touch with Astoria, and made me want to find out more about the world she's living in as she describes the people around her. You've already given her a backstory, an environment, and in so few words - it's just magical, how quickly you've captured the atmosphere for us.
Astoria's characterisation is already so well-fleshed-out; it seems silly that we could get a handle on her so easily already, but you've written her voice as so clear that it just snatches your attention immediately. The way she's recounting her difficult, traumatic memories of how she's helped to heal people; how she's making these painful observations about post-war life that have all this evidence; how she's not delving into pretentious metaphors (not that they're always pretentious but you know what I mean!) but stating it all so simply - you've just laid her out for us so simply and easily that it's impossible not to already love and connect with her :3
So, to summarise: I completely love this already, and you've done absolutely amazingly with so few words! :D
~TGKAuthor's Response: Ahhh! You are absolutely amazing. This review makes me smile and makes me just want to dance around every time I read it. Seriously, Iâm so happy that you enjoyed the read and it seems as though you caught everything I was trying to put into this first look into Astoriaâs mind. Iâm totally awed that I wrote something that was so well perceived!
And I think what truly helped me develop Astoriaâs character so quickly was the time I set aside before I started writing. I just sat down in front of my computer and closed my eyes. I imagined what sort of pains come from loss and from a war that everyone you know has been hurt by. I took the time to explore what sort of feelings would come from it and then I thought about how one would perceive it. I put that into Astoria, let it flow through my mind and then just went for it.
I will admit, though, I was concerned that the flashes of different people she helped, of her sufferings since the war ended were going to be a bit too much to throw into 500 words but it seems as though it worked out. But it seems to have made her character more real and easier to relate to, in a way. And Iâm justâ¦Iâm glad it was simple and easy to get into and left you craving moreâ¦It really is good to hear!
Thank you so much for the review! It was really lovely and I apologize for being a scatter brain with this response, but reallyâ¦Thank you so much! I hope to see you back for more chapters! :D
~Grimmerz Report Review
Hee I did like this bit of fun! There wasn't much plot but it still felt fulfilling and like I'd been taken on a journey (perhaps one of discovery, that Lee Jordan was about! I loved not seeing that coming). It feels like the calm before the storm that Umbridge and then her demise brings.
All your description was so lovely, it really set the scene perfectly and made the reader feel right at home there beside Hogwarts. It also reinforced the falsely calm feeling, and loved how you described the beauties of the day - nothing felt like it was dragging, but you had the dialogue/description balance down so well :D
I loved your characterisations of the four (three?) characters so much, too! Fred and George were so in-canon-ly portrayed, with their sentence-finishing and not giving away all their pranking plans. My favourite line was Sometimes one had to wonder whether these two even knew themselves separately because it rings so true!
I loved your Lee and the mysterious girl, too - they were happy enough to give a hopeful air to your scene and it was a nice snapshot into their lives :DAuthor's Response: Thank you!!! I'm glad you enjoyed it :D Report Review
NO0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0OO IT CAN'T BE OVER NO PLEASE NO BUT BUT
MY DENIAL WILL BE SHOWN THROUGH A 6000-CHARACTER REVIEW. Possibly a little OTT. But hey ho, these are desperate times and I have concussion from this lemon. IT CAN'T JUST END... RIGHT?!?
THIS WAS SUCH A PERFECT ENDING AND SO MUCH CUTENESS BUT I AM STILL MASSIVELY IN DENIAL ABOUT THIS ENDING; What will HPFF do without its routine dose of metaphor?! OMFG IT'S THE ONLY THING KEEPING US AFLOAT. The world is a drizzlier place without Weather for Ducks updates *sobs*
but i am totally and extremely and massively in love with all the parallels and repetitions and everything that made this epilogue like the other epilogue, i just feel like lucy and scorpius' love has been tried and come through the other side with all the trials and tribulations they've been through together - like Rose, and lack of money, and Burns Night (although there was never the Caber-Tossing I had been so psyched up for... or Irn Bru. Can we please have a sober-cause-preggers Irn-Bru-drinking Lucy watching Scorpius be taught the Scots national sport?!)
but yes, all the lovely bus stop and raining and Scorpius confessions and talking about buses and stuff... it made it all so beautiful and Scorpius-Lucy and was just the CUTEST THING EVER. :3 :3 :3 and it was sooo lovely to find out exactly what happened after they got together on that fateful night so long ago because FEELS ~~~
AND THEIR VISION OF THE FUTURE. IT'S JUST THE LOVELIEST THING, and it made me cry more than a bit, BECAUSE IT'S SO PERFECT. The fact that they grew up and were just shaking off the last of the studentiness may or may not have contributed to that sad gloominess and (mild) hysteria...
Scorpius can become a famous comic artist turned teacher turned still-life gardener painter, with his garden peas (is this a second-generation Drapple I see coming on, with Scorpeas instead? OMG fanfanfic with Lucy having sequins thrown over her instead of confetti at the wedding, Mr Andrew Socks carries the rings, Lettuce marries them, and ALL THE WEDDING FOOD IS GARDEN PEA-BASED.)
But getting hitched really cheaply? it's what Lucy wanted all along, right from the beginning where she was wishing they'd gone to get sozzled and hitched in Ibiza :')
I can't help adoring everything they said they were going to do, from the new jobs to garden peas. i hope the kid grows up to be happy and paint-covered and performance-arteestic with belled and sequinned cabers. it would truly be the duck on the pond if that was the case.
Favourite line was quite possibly 'I promise I'll get you a real ring someday,' he said.
'Nah,' I said. 'I like my foil.' because it's so Scorpius/Lucy and they've been in the foil not the gold for so long, it's like... their thing. They're just scrubby and grubby together. and that's why it's so lush.
and SO MANY METAPHORICAL BUSES ahha i do love how you write Lucy as coming up with so many strange metaphors :')
I still dislike Mary-Susannah so much, but then, I guess that's just the problem with Mary-Sues. I still wish her well, and that Rose will produce tartan-wearing babies soon too.
Ahha it just felt like the "All was well." in DH epilogue; "all was well in New New Elgin". and i got the sense that it was such a bittersweet ending even as you wrote it long ago, although maybe that was just me? :( whatever it was, you ended it as perfectly as possible, and we know that Lucy and Scorpius will be very happy in their life... with Abraxus/Arthur/Narcissa/Audrey (and hopefully more) and Albus will drop in with his crazy wife from time to time and they will attend Scottish evenings with PRose at Albus' big house and Molly and her husband will give Scorpius gardening tips.
Amen, sistah. it's wonderful and you're wonderful and i love it all.
this wasn't quite hitting the 6,000 mark, unfortunately, but i do like to think that my appreciation (aka. love&tears) were shown through the squees and randomness.
THANKYOU FOR STARVING ARTISTS. It will forever be my favourite HPFF series. :')
Over and out :3Author's Response: your 'no' is so epic it encompasses both letters and numbers w o w
'they said i must write so many lemons, cause i am so bitter' except lemon means something else in the fanfiction universe so oo-er
hpff will continue because, in the words of those great philosophers noah and the whale, l.i.f.e.g.o.e.s.o.n.
caber tossing at a burns night?!? WHAT EVEN okay this fic is kind of cracky enough to make that work.
don't be ridiculous. scorpius is far too weak to toss a caber. more like tossing the twig for him.
awhh! YES YOU PICKED UP ON THE SCORPEAS AHAHAHA. in the mad 3am land of skype chats we have collected a large list of variations on 'scorpius', one of which includes scorpeas. and yeah they're so poor their wedding food would really be all garden pea-based.
the child grows up to be happy. you know why? THAT CHILD WAS ME okay no but you get the idea.
HMS grubby foil, yeah that's a good ship name. although I think HMS grubby foil would be a bit prone to sinking if it really was made out of grubby foil.
it was pretty bittersweet. I felt I had to make it that way to counterbalance all the OVERWHELMING CLICHE of propsals and sprogs and whatnot.
psst. you want to know? it's Arthur. he grows up to be the pointman in a little film called inception, you've probably never heard of it.
thank you for what is definitely one of the nicest reviews I've had in a very long time ♥ ♥ ♥ Report Review
...I don't even know how to react (other than WOOOHOO HEY AL PLEASE STAY I LOVE YOU, GOOD TO SEE YOU BACK IN THEIR LIVES NOW DON'T LEAVE K).
It feels so lovely and fluffy that everything is getting sorted out that I can't help but squeee :3 I love that Gwen and Tarks ran off to the circus and how New New Elgin is calming down (though a bit sad that it was Prose in the end - OMG THAT SHIP NAME - and Lettary but hey ho, Rose would've ended up chucking his sequins out the window).
And Lucy's pregnant?! I don't think anyone saw it coming, and there are mucho squees over here at the thought of a paint-covered toddler wandering after Scorpius :D I absolutely can't wait to see how Scorpius reacts, especially since they've got a bit more of an income now and everyone except Lucy - :( - is happy :)
TO THE SECILOGUE!Author's Response: haha! I only realised /at this point/ that Al practically vanished from existence after the end of starving artists and he's AL so I had to bring him back. which is a shame because it meant I never got space to write my albus-is-actually-gay subplot :c
Prose is a brill ship name! heh. and whether Mary ends up with Lettuce is really open to interpretation...
TO THE BATCAVE!
♥ Report Review
AASDFGHJKL;'# WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?! LOCY SCORPO THERE'S NO CHAPTERS (for legit reasons) AND THEN THIS HORRIBLE I CAN'T EVEN
Ahem. I swear I've calmed down now. I DID love all the Roseness and mentions of Lettuce and how Lucy's sort of making peace with poor Rose. It feels natural and nice. Plus with all the brilliant trademark one-liners that have me in stitches were brill.
I can see why events would have built up to this crappy!Lucy bit and I feel sorry for Lucy and Scorpius and why it was needed :'( although Scorpius' speech was just the cutest thing EVER :3
Aaaand I should get a medal for self-control in writing a rubbishy commenty thing which is a pathetic excuse for reviewing when THERE'S TWO EPILOGUES STILL 8D *congas with hope*Author's Response: HA HA HA I'M JUST EVIL LIKE THAT
eee, thank you. I wanted to bring Rose back and try to repair the damage I'd done to her character! and I sort of hope I was successful.
*joins your conga line*
♥ Report Review
N'aww this was so lovely and brave and just asdfghjkl NEVILLE!! I have always wondered how he made the transition to Hogwarts Rebel Leader and you laid it out so nicely :D
Your storytelling of how he thought out the change was simple and effective; there were no over-complications, bringing OCs into it, just brilliant strong words which felt so true and noble when you put them together in such a clever way.
Neville's characterisation was fantastic, I really thought you had his rebellious thoughts and concealed pain written subtly at times and cleverly too. His transition from underdog to Leader was made so much better by his constant comparisons to Harry; it constantly reminded us of how Harry and Neville were both boys in the prophecy, and how he was almost Harry too, although Neville doesn't know it.
It was just really great, and I wish there was more, to show how Neville started the rebellion fully! :)
~TGKAuthor's Response: Thank you!! I definitely felt like Neville's transition was missing something. I really just wanted to capture the moment he decided to stand up for himself. Im glad you enjoyed it. I dont think I will ever write more. I think extending this piece would lose some of its impact. Thank you for reviewing :) Report Review
Eep I love this so much already! :3 You've done such a brilliant job of showing the differences between the two girls in all that they do, and mixed feelings are already showing up concerning both their lives. It's a brilliant beginning.
Max seems so happy-go-lucky, and you've really made her such a 3D character with her family relationships and dislikes of mornings without going over the top about it. She really contrasts with Elizabeth, who's perhaps slightly less well-fleshed-out with her annoying parents but even though they've not even hinted at the other's presence, there's already this undercurrent of how much Beth will be disliking Max.
Your characterisation of them and their families was portrayed really nicely, too; just watching them about their daily morning routines, their thoughts and memories, showed us a lot more than I would have expected. It was nice to be shown a lot of it instead of a whole chapter of explanations with no action :D
I'm really excited to see where this goes, too! There's interesting little tidbits that catch my attention about both of them so it does definitely make me want to read on.
~TGKAuthor's Response: Thank you!! Hopefully the next chapter will be up soon. I really enjoyed writing the differences between these two characters. Dont worry, Elizabeth does get more fleshed out as the story progresses. Thank you so much for your review :) Report Review
AH SO EVIL, AND HOW DO I ALREADY LOVE HER SO MUCH?! Your writing is so fabaroo and exquisite, Annon; I'm already in love with the evil Lila and her nasty, violent ways. All the description was so perfectly balanced to make her feel evil but not overdone as that's just uncomfortable ;) I can't wait to read more about Miss Unhinged and Potter, they've got a thing already, and you've given this Thing such an air of mystery that it's impossibly exciting already :3 MORE SOON PLEASE OKAY, although I realise I say this about all your stories... xoxoxoxAuthor's Response: YAY LOTTIE YOU ARE TOO AMAZING TO ME WHAT DID I DO IN ANOTHER LIFE TO DESERVE THIS REVIEW?!?!
yay I'm glad it wasn't uncomfortable! that'd be awks ;D I was wondering just how far to go with it and whether to give Lila at least ONE redeeming quality but then I thought I'd just post this first chapter and see how it went!
Miss Unhinged lol, GAH THAT'S GUNNA STICK NOW :P
yay i love you
xoxoxoxox Report Review
aargh Lily, how is it that you make even a 7000+ chapter feel like no more than a... something a lot shorter? Your style of writing is so addictive and I thought that the slightly choppier, more bitty and less intense-but-more-explained style fit in with Rose's mood on this date perfectly. Her high and low emotions were portrayed the best yet, and it felt as though I could almost reach out and touch Rose in her cracked and vulnerable state.
The way you've unravelled this part of the mystery is just amazing, because it feels like another part of the shell being peeled away; we can see the motivations for Rose's ice queen persona and connect with her even more now. I liked the more obvious hints about her family in this chapter, too, because it seemed to emphasise Rose's loss since we can compare this to the usual cliche of happy Weasley families.
And while the mystery concerning the absence of Rose's family has been partially uncovered, I feel like you've managed to develop the plot by another step again, frustratingly so! Rose needed Scorpius but pushed him away, and she now plots with her Uncle to bring down his father in the campaign for Minister... and meanwhile, her family's strange deaths have gone uninvestigated. Everything feels laden with suspicion and you have me searching for meaning in everything, which adds another layer to being able to climb into Rose's defensive skin.
I also adore meeting new characters that you bring in; your characterisation is just so wonderfully real and interesting, and every new person we meet makes me get really excited that they will be relevant to the plot soon. It's just all so wonderful, and while I'm sure I've used that word more than is strictly necessary in the past 25 reviews, I use with all my heart because you are so very talented and my vocabulary is downsized somewhat when I'm trying to squee coherently :D I am so glad I've been privileged enough to have the chance to read these stories, and will most certainly coming back for more! Report Review
I feel like every chapter brings more questions than answers, so intriguing is every turn of events. There were so many brilliant scenes in this which got me questioning exactly what we know about Rose thus far, and it's all so very addictive, not least because of how the mundane and emotional and remembrance and action-packed scenes are all woven between each other to create this constant level of tension.
Scorpius just became a whole lot more enigmatic here; your cleverly dropped hints did not prepare me for such high levels of intruiging past and sexual tension! It does feel as though part of Rose's reasons for creating her harsh shell have been uncovered, and I lovedlovedloved how you wrote the scene where she was desperate for him to listen to her and to communicate with him. It felt truer and less jagged than the other Ice Queen Rose moments, and the way you wrote it with a smoother flow and more doubts was more telling than all of Rose's coherent worries about him.
I'm ever so excited about discovering their past, though, not least because of the strange impact that it has on Percy and his career - and Molly, too, who knows some secrets and not others, who I can't help but wonder if she will end up creating some devastating destruction with her partial knowledge. I love how you write her as alternating between needy and at odds with Rose, because they have noticeable similarities and differences that only family can have.
It was surprising to discover that Hermione was dead, and I wonder if this will tie into later plot. I do love the poetic theme this has, though, especially the poetic references and how Rose knows her poetry too. It adds a layer of closeness to the reader, if that makes sense, because it's something that we both have in common. Eep cannot wait to read the next chapter! Report Review
If it's possible, I loved the poetic style of this chapter even more than the last; everything slips along so smoothly yet with such jagged emotions running through that the 6000 words feel so liquid and easy to fit yourself into since the emotion all feels a lot less... pretentious than other emotion-packed stories do. Favourite paragraph was definitely the one about Rose burning, I love it!
And SO MUCH AMAZING MYSTERY. Everything feels so splintered, and I love trying to put together all the pieces to make out what's happened with Percy and Scorpius and the Minister battle... it's so intriguing how there's this calm-before-the-storm sort of tension that Rose keeps referencing, and it's so completely enthralling.
And more indirect Scorpius! The way Rose's thoughts are all directed at him - or how they seem that way, at least - automatically make me desperate to claw closer to him, find out why they're involved, why Molly is disapproving of the connection. (And how Addae Jordan is involved in all of this too!)
Your characterisation is all so wonderful and brilliant; it's even easier to see how the icy weather reflects Rose's attitude, how she wears a mask and considers each move; it accompanies the chilling sensation of the reader realising what skin they wear, too. You have the Al-Rose-Molly group working so realistically, showing Rose's thoughts on them compared to her moments of connection to each. It strengthens the feeling I'm getting that they're splintering apart.
Also I totally recognised those poetic references ;) 'Invictus' is such a perfect poem to reflect Rose's walls and well, Shakespeare's just a vaguely famous dood, no idea what for... ;) Report Review
I really love this already -- it's very different style to what I usually read, but was almost immediately very easy to slip into and forget I was processing words and not in Rose's skin, fighting to get out.
Your characterisation is already very pulling and compelling, and I want to read on to find out what could happen to these people. I love how you showed Rose's uncomfortableness in her own skin but also in what she wants and should want; how unsatisfied she is with herself. It was easy to relate to, and she seemed a lot more real than other angsty characters who are simply angry at everything without any depth.
I like how you slotted together the different scenes -- or rather, the snippets of scenes that got a bit longer towards the end, so that at first we felt uncomfortable along with Rose trying to work out who was who and what was going on, getting a feel for her character. The slices of emotion and scenes were very telling because you didn't have awkward between-scene fillers to patch it together; it was more of a clean break, and so was more raw and precise (if that makes sense).
And your description and imagery - the cracking of her knuckle, the "cold hands, warm heart", the mundaneness twisting with the strange pull to Scorpius - it was all so beautiful and fit together in such a perfect flow! It was so easy to see yourself in those scenes because of that, and I loved it.
Your Rose was also very original -- no small feat when she's probably the most-written next-gen character -- and I can't wait to see more of her, and see what will happen to her; after all, nothing can remain this 'calm' for long, and I want to see more of Scorpius too! It's brilliant and I'm already desperate for more :D Report Review
Oooh this was such a perfect and lovely last chapter :3 I thought that you tied everything up very nicely, because there's a sense of peace and finality all through the chapter and it feels as though Astoria has made peace with herself and her metaphors of life. It feels right to leave them here on the bus :)
The metaphors are back! (I am very glad you didn't abandon them in this last chapter, seeing as they've been built upon for the other eight and it would be a shame to leave them out now). It was so nice to have them reach fullness, and the ideas to be lain out in their now-developed forms. I really do feel as though I've been on an enlightening journey with Astoria (and Draco, to an extent), and you've done such a brilliant job of including the reader in all of this! :D
I have such faith in Drastoria after just 15k, which seems a little strange as I've never really been able to get along with Draco before, yet the way you've developed him feels natural and strangely /normal/ after all we know he's been through. Their relationship is strong, and I love how you left them as a pair discovering it all together - also, the cleverness of how it all tied in to the beginning with HOGWARTS BUILDING and HOME was just so beyond-words fabulous 8D 83
This has been such a wonderful reading experience, Lily - you're amazing at what you do as a wordsmith, and I just hope that one day I can write something that makes me think a tenth of what EPW has made me think :) Report Review
THEY KISSED! AFTER 8 CHAPTERS. MY SHIPPY FEELS ARE GOING CRAZY 83 Meeep the reunion was just so lovely and brilliant and you've really brought them together so well! The feeling of final realisation and enlightenment was so strong, through all the metaphors, and you've brought them together so fabulously :)
It was so lovely to read it and muddle through Draco's words and Astoria's questions with them, because it really did feel like the climax of their understanding of each other. I just hope Draco's concept of 'home' is expanded upon more, because you've portrayed his journey so well and I don't want Astoria to lose him :(
Also I'm ridiculously happy that the title made it in! I was so wondering if/how "electric pow-wow" would come up, and it was so perfect that I couldn't help squeeing, A LOT. It's just so... Drastoria, certainly after the big enlightenment, and the phrasing is just so beautiful in its strange clunkiness, if that makes sense!
(Although interestingly if you google image "electic pow-wow" there are a lot of band/club posters. AIF comes up with play shots and invictus comes up with Morgan Freeman. Imma stop the creepiness now). I almost can't believe there's only one more chapter left D: Report Review
This was a beautifully contrasting chapter! :3 The change of style seemed to perfectly fit drunk Astoria, because the words were so much less structured and far more over the place, and it was so much like landing in her muddled thoughts.
It was strange at first to have all Astoria's ideas so muddled, because we don't really know why she's upset and what's happened to Draco - just that he's gone, and she can't take it quite yet. It was a different kind of effective and it does make me extremely curious about what will happen to them now, since they've seemed so inseparable, but now...
Your last paragraphs were so lovely, the phrase which originally pulled me in -"goodness is a seed, it starts in the heart and spreads its leaves through the body like electricity - appearing, and all the subtle similies used throughout (such as Astoria being like her fan) made me smile so much. All the theories on life and relationships you write make me think a lot, and it's good to be able to engage so much with your lovely story :) Report Review
This has got to be my favourite chapter so far :3 There was just such an air of peace and contentment that almost seemed to emanate from the words, as Astoria's friendship with Draco had found its place and it had helped her to /do/ things.
I loved the descriptions of their outings together, how they're learning lessons at college - you've shown their process of learning to become 'real' people and gain a 'normal' understanding so clearly, and their camaraderie seems so much more bonding because they're going out into the world together. I love how both their lives are better with the other in it, and how they just slot in nicely with the other, because it feels like a simple and true sort of romance that's been forgotten.
And Hannah - the little ways in which you show Astoria noticing things about people where before she saw very little, such as Hannah's age, is subtly telling. I do love how you show hints and let us work it out for ourselves, because I feel a lot more involved in their lives than otherwise.
Ooh I do so love the ending, too - Hannah's words wouldn't be so profound if Astoria didn't pay so much heed to her words, but as it is, I love how we can see that she's dropped the perfect idea of how to be in Astoria's head. It's all so lovely and I can't wait to see what Draco's been doing, either :D Report Review
Aww, there was so much progress in so few words in this chapter! I just love how you've written Astoria's revelations to herself, because they're tied closely to Draco's words and as she peels back layers of beliefs, we can see her values getting closer to Draco's. It's gradual, though, and the time to get there feels natural and easy.
I do like Draco and Astoria talking more. You write his words in a poetic style, but because they are so similar to the style of Astoria's thought train, it is easy to see how they fit together in this way that nobody else does.
It's difficult to look back and see the moment when this closeness was established because you've written the progression to this stage of honest talking and hand-holding so neatly - it feels real enough to imagine yourself in their places, but not so normal as to lose interest at all. They're both unique, and I love that :)
I like the little reminders of real life, too, though - how they need to get jobs, since Draco hasn't any money. How they're still battling other people's views and morals of parents. It sort of brings Astoria's flyaway thoughts back around in a circle to earth, relating it back to the solid events we know of. This was a generally lovely chapter, and I do look forward to reading more :D Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection