Reading Reviews From Member: Ravenclaw333
  
247 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Ravenclaw333How I Saved the Wizarding World with Hair Potions, By Gilderoy Lockhart: Hair-Care Potion Maker Extraordinaire

15th August 2014:
Hiya!

This story is fantastic. It's lighthearted, witty, and perfectly in character for Lockhart - you've brought him to life here and pull off his voice, his arrogance and his absolute self-assurance brilliantly. I like the recurring theme of the hair potions - it ties everything together really well, and is of course a perfect symbol of Gilderoy himself. The introduction of Gladys Gudgeon is an awesome use of the existing canon and really well done, and I enjoyed the cameos of James and Sirius and McGonagall as well.

Regarding the unreliable narration - you really couldn't have done a better job on that front. Lockhart's voice colours the entire story and it's impossible to separate the two. His revelations and 'understandings' of the world around him are all skewed by his inflated ego and self-importance, and you've tied the narration and characterisation together here perfectly. Thanks for entering this in the challenge!

Author's Response: Eeep thank you! It's wonderful to hear that you liked Lockhart's voice and thought he was portrayed well! I love little canon things like that and couldn't resist cameos from those characters through Lockhart's lens. I'm glad you liked the hair potion theme too!

The narration and ridiculous way Gilderoy sees the world was one of the most fun parts of writing this. I'm thriled that you enjoyed the self-important and clueless narration :D Thank you so much for the review, and what a great challenge idea! Thanks!


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Review #2, by Ravenclaw333A Rose by Any Other Name: A Rose by Any Other Name

9th August 2014:
Wow. Just, wow. This is such an incredible story!

You've gone above and beyond for the aspect of unreliable narration here - you've made Ron's voice so strong, so believable, that it comes as a real shock to discover what has actually happened at the end - that it's Rose coming to visit him, with Scorpius - you've brought the reader so perfectly into Ron's mind and psyche, to feel his confusion and panic and steadfast resolution that it is Hermione visiting him. Every little detail and comment is perfectly done, maintaining the illusion Ron is holding to so tightly while painting a clear picture to go back to of a daughter struggling with her father not remembering her. The repetition throughout - comments about Rose's hair, and the nurse who reminds him of Lavender - really bring his confusion to the forefront and frame the piece perfectly. You've done such an incredible moment with his realisation, his questioning what is real, and the line "People don't forget things like daughters," was heartbreaking and so well done.

This is beautifully written and poignant, with a masterful command of unreliable narration. Thank you so much for entering the challenge!

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Review #3, by Ravenclaw333True Romance: I don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You

1st August 2014:
THEY BURIED HIM NEAR THE MUGGLE SECTION OF THE GRAVEYARD OW MY HEART ARTHUR WEASLEY IS SUCH A GIFT I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU KILLED HIM

right okay we're good i have moved on there is forgiveness

nope i'm crying again WHY

"the slow ache of isolation" that is perfect wording

POOR CHARLIE. EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS CHAPTER IS RIPPING MY HEART INTO TINY LITTLE PIECES. HE'S GIVEN UP ON LOVE

WHAT

WHAT JUST HAPPENED

JUST WHEN I WAS STARTING TO LIKE CORBIN HE WENT AND
NOPE

NOPE TIMES ONE THOUSAND

NOPE

KICK HIM OUT SCORPIUS KICK HIM RIGHT TO THE CURB THAT IS SO GROSS AND ABUSIVE AND CONTROLLING AND GROSS GROSS GROSS NOPE

THAT SHIP IS SUNK IT IS SO SUNK I WANT CORBIN GONE GONE GONE

#ARCHIEISCHEATINGTRASH2K14
#CORBINISABUSIVETRASH2K14

BRILLIANT CHAPTER I AM VERY VERY HAPPY WITH ROSE'S CONCLUSIONS AT THE END YOU ARE MY KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR FOR DESTROYING UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS OR BRINGING THEM INTO THE HARSH LIGHT OF DAY

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Review #4, by Ravenclaw333True Romance: A Satisfied Mind

29th July 2014:
OH MAN THE RACE IS ON THE RACE IS SO ON

I'M SO HAPPY FOR ROSE BEING HAPPY FOR SCORPIUS IT'S NOT AWKWARD BETWEEN THEM ANYMORE AH YAY

and their friendship is just beautiful okay it warms my heart and i love how they managed to get to that point AH EVERYTHING IS FAB

"GREAT JOB." HARRY JAMES POTTER, SAVIOUR OF THE WIZARDING WORLD AND SPEECHMAKER EXTRAORDINAIRE.

Oh, James. Asking what we were all thinking.

WEASLEY FAMILY FEELS. POTTER FAMILY FEELS. SAVAGE FAMILY FEELS. DROWNING IN FEELS. MOLLY IS SO PRECIOUS AND SHE DOESN'T LIKE ARCHIE EITHER LOOK AT THAT ROSE. LOOK MOLLY AGREES WITH ME. MOLLY WEASLEY AGREES WITH ME

NO
NO

GFNON

DFOONPO
NO NO NO NO


NOO O0


YOU DID NOPT


NO NO NO NO NO

NO

Author's Response: RACE FOR IT BABY!

Rose and Scorpius are now non-awkward friends!! AND THEIR FRIENDSHIP IS FANTASTIC. yes.

haha, HJP - not known for his speech-making. HE TRIED, OKAY.

James - the voice of the audience.

YOUR REACTION HERE BROUGHT TEARS TO MY FACE.

TEARS OF JOY.

AND SADNESS AT WHAT I DID.

I DID AND... I'M SORRY.


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Review #5, by Ravenclaw333True Romance: There Goes the Fear

28th July 2014:
NO. NO LILY. LILY DON'T DO THE THING. LILY WHAT. LILY STOP

AND EW ARCHIE PROPOSING TO HER WHEN SHE'S OBVIOUSLY UPSET AND JUST LOST HER JOB AND SAYING HOW HE'S GOING TO "LOOK AFTER HER" IT JUST SOUNDS SO SKEEVY AND GROSS WHY IS HE SO KEEN TO MARRY HER HOW OLD IS SHE EVEN ARCHIE IS SO GROSS AND LILY YOU CAN'T CONDITIONALLY MARRY SOMEONE BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU CAN CHANGE HIM HOW UNHEALTHY IS THIS RELATIONSHIP #ARCHIEISTRASH2K14

I feel so bad for Lily poor girl her boss was so horrible to her and it doesn't even sound like she WANTS to marry Archie or at least she's uncertain about it please make her find her purpose in life and be happy omg

And ROSE SOUNDS LIKE SHE'S HAD A BIT OF FUN IN HER TIME WITH THOSE SNOGGING STORIES GOOD ON HER. I hope she sees Pedro again but also I just want her to have fun and travel the world and flirt with as many cute people as she wants

HMS SCORBIN IS UNDER FULL SAIL ON THE HIGH SEAS THAT WAS SO CUTE

Please don't maim James.

Author's Response: I MEAN, THEY'RE JUST ENGAGED - NOT RUSHING TO THE ALTER LIKE ELIZA. PROPOSING TO HER WAS HIS WAY OF MAKING THE DAY BETTER AND YEAH. SHE'S 19. HE'S 21. LILY HASN'T LEARNED YET THAT YOU CAN'T CHANGE THE PERSON YOU'RE WITH. and she misunderstood the love completing people thing.

SHE DEF. WANTS TO MARRY HIM BUT SHE'S PERHAPS A BIT NAIVE ABOUT WHAT MARRIAGE AT HER AGE IS LIKE.

OF COURSE ROSE HAS ENJOYED A BIT OF FUN. It bothers me when girls are portrayed as innocent saints or it's scandalous when they've had their fun. HER FRIENDS WERE RIGHT THERE WITH HER FOR A BUNCH OF THAT FUN. She'll be focused on fun more than love soon.

WHOO WHOO! HMS SCORBIN FTW.

I can't promise that no James were maimed in the making of the chapter.

THANK YOU FOR A WONDERFUL REVIEW.

-Rose


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Review #6, by Ravenclaw333True Romance: Hold Tight

27th July 2014:
HELLO ROSE I'M SORRY THIS REVIEW IS SO LATE BUT MAYEB YOU CAN GET A COHERENT AND SLIGHTLY LESS CAPS-Y REVIEW FROM ME NOW THAT I'VE CONCEDED THE RACE FOR THIS CHAPTER

...the caps-yness of that intro probably doesn't bode well. I digress.

Oh, the uncomfortable breakfast. The Supremely Uncomfortable Breakfast. Poor Harry. And Lily, saying that in front of her parents! I am agog! I am aghast! Am I done with Les Mis quotes at last?

(Do not let Lily reproduce with Archie. I will riot. No.)

I like how you've portrayed Draco - the way he's governed by social rules and his own rigid set of values, and how you haven't just needlessly made him a (insert non-12+ word of your choosing here) as people tend to do with Draco. He's complex. The Malfoys are complex. Aristocracy, darling. I love it.

You've done it. I ship them. All aboard HMS Scorbin. Lord help me, I SHIP IT SO HARD

MOLLLY

MOLLY WEASLEY IS EVERYTHING GOOD IN THIS WORLD

BRAD. THAT WAS CRUEL OF YOU I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE

POOR ROSE I FEEL SO BAD FOR HER I JUST WANT TO HUG HER AND MAYBE TRAVEL THE WORLD WITH HER TOO

...WELL I MANAGED A BIT OF NON-CAPS IN THIS REVIEW. SOLID EFFORT METHINKS

Author's Response: HI LISA! THIS RESPONSE IS LATE. I NEED CAPS TO RESPOND.

NEVER BE DONE WITH YOUR LES MIS QUOTES! It was an uncomfortable brunch to say the least.

(don't worry. there aren't kids in their future)

The aristocratic behavior for Draco is fun to write. He's definitely not easy for him to be away from Scorpius. I couldn't make him hate his son, rather insist on standing firm on some riduclous thing he said in anger.

I'M SO GLAD I GOT YOU TO SHOP SCORBIN FOR A FEW CHAPTERS!

molly is my favorite character. period. no discussion.

I did do that there. Sorry, did that poke hurt?

ROSE NEEDS HUGS AND LOVE (PLATONIC LOVE).

A BIT OF NON-CAPS GOES A LONG WAY.

Thank you for an awesome review!

-Rose


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Review #7, by Ravenclaw333True Romance: Don't You Want Me

24th July 2014:
THE RACE IS ON I'M GONNA BE FIRST AW MAN

SECOND SIGHT PERTAINING TO EXES that is actually such a good way of putting it that's perfect and shows that Scorpius isn't necessarily ACTIVELY seeking out Albus but it just sort of happens so yes good

GOD their relationship is so complex I will never get tired of it like YES I ship Branbus but also there's SOMETHING ABOUT Scorpius and Albus you know

...I'm as bad as Albus

Was that closure? That bETTER HAVE BEEN CLOSURE THEY'VE REACHED AN AGREEMENT THINGS ARE WORKING EVERYTHING'S FINE

THE INAPPROPRIATE THOUGHTS BIT OHH THAT'S PERFECT ALBUS BEHAVE

AH I'M SCREAIM GIN I'M FLAILING HE SAIDF THE THING THEY SAID THE THINGHS OH BE STILL MY BEATING HEART

ROSE/LILY BANTER GIVES ME LIFE

and poor Rose with all these happy couples around her I FEEL YOU ROSE LOOK AT ALL THESE DISGUSTING COUPLES AND THEIR DISGUSTING LOVE THAT IS ANYTHING BUT DISGUSTING except Archie bc #archieistrash2k14

Author's Response: CONGRATS ON WINNING THE RACE!!! It's kind of funny because now other reviews have started mentioning where they're at in the review race.

AH, OH MY GOSH - I THOUGHT THE FIRST SECTION WAS KIND OF IFFY BECAUSE I WROTE HALF OF IT IN MY ANGSTY MOOD DURING THE LAST FEW DAYS. Scorbus will always be complex. YOU DON'T JUST GET OVER YOUR FIRST LOVE.

you might be as bad as Albus :P

I THINK IT WAS CLOSURE FOR NOW.

YOU WANT HIM TO BEHAVE BUT YOU ALSO WANT HIM WITH BRANDON. I DON'T THINK THOSE TWO DESIRES ARE CONGRUENT. Perhaps not appropriate with his mom though.

THEY SAID THE THING AND THEN DID OTHER STUFF. It's a very key chapter for the feels.

ROSE/LILY BANTER IS REALLY FUN TO WRITE.

you and rose can be soul sisters with the #nolove campaign. STAY TUNED FOR MORE ARCHIE NEXT CHAPTER

THANKS FOR THE LOVELY REVIEW!!

-Rose


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Review #8, by Ravenclaw333True Romance: Ice Cream

21st July 2014:
TEDDY HAS A KID CALLED REMUS OH MY HEART AND ALBUS IS BEING ALL PATERNAL AH

ROSE. ROSE WHAT ARE YOU DOING. ROSE NO. ROSE WHAT.

(clarification: i am yelling at Rose Weasley, not you. Though I'm only halfway through the chapter so that could be subject to change)

YOU DID THE THING. IDK HOW YOU DID THE THING BUT CORBIN ISN'T AS ABHORRENT AS HE USED TO BE. THE POWER OF BACKSTORY? I'M ALMOST DISAPPOINTED THE #CORBINISTRASH MOVEMENT WAS SO FUN

oh well there's always Archie

Author's Response: TEDDY AND REMUS WERE MY FEELS MACHINE FOR THIS CHAPTER. IT NEARLY KILLED ME BUT I WROTE IT FOR YOU. I had to show Al with some parenting skillz. he can do the play time and the cute time and all sorts of stuff

SHE WAS MAKING SOME POOR LIFE CHOICES. I like to think you were yelling at both of us. ;)

I DID THE THING!! YES!! THOUGH, I WISH I HAD DONE THE THING A BIT EARLIER ON. OH WELL. #POWEROFBACKSTORY2014

Yes - there is always archie *evil glare*

oops, I mean, ARCHIE IS FAB.

THANK YOU FOR THE WONDERFUL, SHOUTY REVIEW!

-rose


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Review #9, by Ravenclaw333True Romance: Only Myself to Blame

21st July 2014:
HEY ROSE I THINK I'M STILL FIRST FOR THIS THAT'S SO EXCITING

THIS IS A FAB CHAPTER EVERYTHING IS FAB except Archie but hey I'm biased against him and I always will be I'M SORRY IT'S A MATTER OF PRINCIPLE

The conversation between Albus and Brandon just gave me so many shipper feels and I just want to sit Albus down and yell at him like SORT YOUR LIFE OUT ALBUS POTTER FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU WANT I mean I understand where he's coming from because that level of commitment is scary but also BRANDON IS SUCH A GOOD GUY

And Rose! That Henrik dude was creepy but Pedro was a cutie and I hope to see more of him and I totally ship it and maybe Rose can move on from her thing for Brandon because that's going to be bad news for everyone and I feel bad for her because HISTORY SHOULDN'T REPEAT ITSELF YOU KNOW

I CAN SEE THAT YOU'RE TRYING TO REDEEM ARCHIE AND I RESPECT THAT BUT ALSO NO. #ARCHIEISTRASH2K14

Author's Response: YOU'RE THE FIRST! ONE BENEFIT OF FOLLOWING ME ON TWITTER WHILE I'M NOT ON THE FORUMS.

OOOH, I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT!!! I MEAN, I WROTE IT IN A BLUR OF PIZZA AND SODA. Okay, I get your hatred for Archie. He does come 'round a bit soon though. UNTIL THEN, HATE AWAY.

Yes!! I wanted to poke feels with their conversation. BRANDON IS SO AWESOME. I MEAN, HE JUST NEEDS TO BE EVERYONE'S PARTNER WITH USER APPROPRIATE GENDER MODS. Albus Potter is officially on a quest to figure out what he wants.

HENRIK IS JUST AN ENTITLED DUDE WHO MISUNDERSTOOD HIS SITUATION. Pedro is definitely someone I'd like to revisit. I mean, I'd like Rose to revisit. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. ... I have no comment on Rose and Brandon at this juncture.

I'M OKAY WITH THE ARCHIE HATE.

THANK YOU FOR A WONDERFUL REVIEW!!!

-Rose


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Review #10, by Ravenclaw333True Romance: The Wolves and The Ravens

18th July 2014:
AM I FIRST REVIEW I HOPE I AM

You did such a good job with the party scene! You really brought out the atmosphere of it, and the POOR DECISION MAKING, LOOKING AT YOU ALBUS POTTER, and the overwhelming sort of nature of it, and James and Cindy are super cute and I want to see more of them.

Rose! Ahhh. Poor Rosie, I really feel for her and she's stuck in such a difficult position and I like how you've made her confused and uneasy about spending time with Brandon and everything's just subtle enough, and the bit with Corbin and Astoria was really well handled as well and you did a good job illustrating their views and how they differed from Scorpius's and I'M JUST REALLY INTERESTED TO SEE WHERE ALL THIS GOES

Author's Response: YOU'RE THE FIRST!!! *CONFETTI!!**

I'm so relieved that the party scene worked out!! POOR DECISION MAKING AND ALBUS ARE BECOMING BFFS! I thought James needed a bit of progress in his love life. And Cindy needed to have a moment of boldness!!

Rose is trying not to be a bad person in this situation but she does struggle seeing someone she fancies with someone who is kind of meh about their relationship. CORBIN AND ASTORIA TOOK ME AS MUCH TIME TO WRITE AS THE REST OF THE CHAPTER!! o.o so glad that panned out.

You'll see where it goes soon enough!!

THANK YOU FOR A WONDERFUL REVIEW AND FOR RACING TO BE #1!


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Review #11, by Ravenclaw333True Romance: Where the Wind Blows

16th July 2014:
OH MAN THIS CHAPTER JUST HIT ME RIGHT IN THE FEELS IN SO MANY WAYS BUT ESPECIALLY ROSE AND THAT WHOLE THING ABOUT MEETING UP WITH HER OLD SCHOOL FRIENDS AND ONE OF THEM GETTING MARRIED AND THE BABY AND EVERYTHING like everything about that was so firmly rooted in reality and hit home (am I feeling whimsical about being Grown Up? yes I am. Good timing)

I loved the scene with Scorpius and Astoria, and the insights into Astoria and how she's trying to let Scorpius know things she can't quite say out loud and everything about that was just lovely and a brilliant snapshot into a complicated relationship and just all round really really GOOD.

Domestic Branbus! This is so cute my heart hurts.

This line. "as if dancing to a song both had memorized" This line is so perfect and poetic and lovely and ahhh.

"YOU'RE MY ANCHOR" OH GOD ROSE WHY MUST YOU HURT ME SO THIS IS BEAUTIFUL AND NOW I'M SCARED

Author's Response: I WASN'T AIMING FOR YOUR FEELS BUT I'LL TAKE THE POINTS ANYWAYS. I'm glad I'm not that only one who has friends who ran off to do those things right out of school and left me all o.o in the dust.

Astoria will get more play in the next few chapters. She really wants to be involved in Scorpius' life but is also quite constrained by loyalty to her marriage. I'm so happy that I managed to capture what is a quite nuanced and complicated relationship.

THIS WAS MY FAVORITE PART OF THE CHAPTER. It was like playing house. Sexy house. BE SCARED! I mean, I just like it when people are scared. so... yeah.

THANK YOU FOR A WONDERFUL REVIEW!

-Rose


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Review #12, by Ravenclaw333Acanthus: The Web Thickens

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Is it weird that Iím so, super duper relieved that the Weasleys made it to the Egyptian Ministry with Frederic? I was expecting him to escape somehow or try to kill them or something and oh man. Heís captured. Good.

GOOD ON CHARLOTTE FOR HAVING HER SUSPICIONS AND ALERTING THE OTHERS

WAIT IS THERE EVEN A RIVAL FAMILY WAS THAT BIT MADE UP WHERE IS THIS MYSTICAL RIVAL FAMILY WHY HAVENíT THEY SHOWN UP GEORGE MADE THEM UP DIDNíT HE HE MADE THEM UP TO BE A SCAPEGOAT

YES I WAS RIGHT IíM SO EXCITED

WAIT DID GEORGE ESCAPE WHEN DID GEORGE ESCAPE DID I MISS THAT BIT? WHAT HAPPENED TO GEORGE

THE POTION SMASHED DOES THAT MEAN SCORPIUS DOESNíT HAVE TO DIE ANYMORE

Author's Response: Bahahaha, no it's not weird at all because given the way the story does crazy tangents a lot of the time, it wouldn't have been too surprising if that had happened. Ooh Charlotte, ooh Charlotte bahaha is all I have to say.

Erm, as for the rival family more will be explained as the story progresses so don't worry too much about it now but yes you are on the right lines.

About that potion though. :P

Thanks for a great review! :D

-Kiana


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Review #13, by Ravenclaw333Acanthus: Death, the Spectre

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Iíve given up even prefacing my first shouty thoughts in these reviews but ďYouíre a much better Ravenclaw than I am. I often feel they only ever put me in that house because I didnít want to be a Slytherin.Ē OUCH. RIGHT IN THE HOUSE FEELS. SCORPIUS IS SO A RAVENCLAW. SCORPIUS IS A FANTASTIC RAVENCLAW. I WILL DEFEND HIS CLAW-NESS TILL MY DYING BREATH.

I think the House Cupís getting to me.

Oh no what happened to Edward DID YOU KILL HIM WHATíS GOING TO HAPPEN TO ROSE

RASHIDI

George. ITíS HIM WHAT IS HE PLANNING WHAT ARE HIS MOTIVATIONS

OH THOSE ARE HIS MOTIVATIONS THATíS TERRIFYING LIKE I FELT SORRY FOR HIM EARLIER IN THIS STORY THAT WAS SO REMARKABLY WELL DONE I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING OH MY GOD

Author's Response: BAHAHAHA I know, but he's bound to have issues with Ravenclaw because of the whole Malfoys always being Slytherin sort of thing so we do have to pity him a little, but yay for HC craziness, everyone loves it deep down.

Erm, yes, maybe, wait and see and Rashidi does know stuff so watch out for him too. I'm sorry about all this motivations and stuff and keeping it secret but it makes it so much more fun when reading your reaction :P

Thanks for a great review! :D

-Kiana


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Review #14, by Ravenclaw333Acanthus: A Sign of Treachery

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

KIANA YOU HAVE MADE ME SUSPICIOUS OF EVERY CHARACTER IN THIS STORY. WHY IS EVERYONE ACTING CIVIL WHAT ARE THEY PLANNING WHAT HORRIBLE THINGS HAVE THEY GOT UP THEIR SLEEVES

On a completely unrelated note, ďthe Romans have probably beaten us to it. Again.Ē line made me laugh a little too hard. Good old Rome with its pillage and plunder. Imperium sine fine. Moving on.

Oh no. Iím scared. ďMaybe itís a pattern, a sign that weíre in danger.Ē I just got chills. And especially because, as Scorpius pointed out, Lorcanís pretty good at coming up with theories and if heís worried theyíve got due cause to BE worried, and oh man this is gloriously tense.

WHAT IS GEORGE UP TO

What what what oh God that took a dark turn the Cruciatus oh no

Rashidiís story. Iím assuming the vanishing was Rose and Lorcan getting back to their time Ė but Scorpius oh no and people die and IíM TOO INVESTED

Author's Response: Hey Lisa!

Bahaha, I'm sorry but it's usually because you have a reason to be suspicious so it's a good thing that you always are so you're prepared.

Bahaha, I knew you would like it and I couldn't resist including it because they did have to go and ruin places like Acanthus for future explorers :P

Erm, yes, pay attention of that, and the theories because it could point out to future things and foreshadowing and all that jazz so yes I'm not so cruel because even though evil things happen I hint about them.

Yes, it did, I'm sorry but the darkness of George will be explained further later on. Rashidi's story is very interlinked with George's too and I would pay close attention to both for hints about what's to come!

Thanks for a great review!

-Kiana


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Review #15, by Ravenclaw333Acanthus: A Guise

11th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

I love Scorpius. That is all.

Except itís not of course, but I just love this whole beginning of the chapter and how heís hanging back, assessing everyone, their characters and allegiances and motivations and whether theyíre safe or not, and that line about becoming a true Malfoy is just so good and perfect because he is, heís mastering these disguises but heís also looking out for Rose and Lorcan and if thereís anything the Malfoys care about itís their own so that works on so many levels - both the slightly negative way Scorpius sees it and the positive traits as well.

Rose and Lorcan running off to swear is the greatest mental image ever and kind of reminds me of the early days of the Nano cabin.

Hermione and Hasani are perfect, again. I love love love this line: ďÖalternating between the English and Arabic word for him, as if it were some sort of ritual which would bring them closer to them.Ē Itís just so insightful and poignant and such a wonderful line, and Hermioneís empathy just adds to it.

That segment about Islam is beautiful. Iím really glad you added that in there Ė not only is it a wonderful piece of characterisation and worldbuilding, but itís just a really good nod to Egyptian culture as a whole, so well done.

Oh this owl spell is so true to Hermione and the way she was as a teenager and I love it. I love so many things about this chapter that this review is getting horrendously repetitive and Iím sorry.

Oh wow. That line about how Hermione hasnít confronted death since the final battle was incredible and Iím in awe at how many characters youíve managed to capture and how complex they are like wow wow wow.

Author's Response: Yay for Scorpius love, the more he gets the better!

I know, he's such a Slytherin in a way and a Malfoy too as you said because this shows why their traits are useful in these situations because if he was a Gryffie he probably would have gone bursting in, wand raised and possibly attacked them all. It was really interesting to write this side to him though as he was getting closer to his Malfoy roots even if he didn't want to.

Bahahaha, I'm glad that you liked that as I imagine I would have done the same too.

Aw, thank you! I feel as if I should come up with some sort of platonic ship name for them or something as they are rather cutesy but that might be a bit weird, so let's just leave it to the reviews... I'm glad that you liked the note about Islam though as I have always wondered about Islam and magic and given how integrated Islam is into Egyptian culture I felt it was needed.

It's fine, I love this review and it really made my day! I'm so glad that you liked Hermione because in a way she's so easy to write as she's so like me but in another way she's such a major character it's hard to get all her mannerisms into the story too.

Thanks for such a fantastic review! :D

-Kiana


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Review #16, by Ravenclaw333Acanthus: Reunions

11th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Wait so how did Scorpius get from the middle of the desert back to Rose did they find him did he somehow THINK his way back to her oh well Iíll worry about that later because theyíre REUNITED IíM SO HAPPY

HIS ROSE. THIS IS TOO CUTE MY HEART

Oh okay so she found him in the desert. This review is probably going to just be incoherent shipper feels all over the place so bear with me

I like how Rose feels personal responsibility for getting Rashidi and Dalila back to Cairo, sheís really grown up a lot and understands the consequences of being so impulsive.

Ohh does David have feelings for Rose? That expains so much and I feel kind of sorry for him, poor guy

The ancient historian/Classicist in me is yelling that I love the archaeological details youíve thrown in about Acanthus and please keep them coming and I hope hope hope the Roman conquest is going to come up again because Romans, yo.

THEY KISSED AHHH

Author's Response: They will be together don't worry, and as for getting there it has a weird connection thing which confused the hell out of me so don't worry too much about it :P

Yes they found each other!!! I squeeed way too much at that moment so don't worry at all about it, because shipper feels always go a bit cray cray in these moments so I udnerstand.

Ooooh yes a bit more on the relationships is explored here. David turned out to be more of a side note later on but I think the main reason for his feelings for her is that's she's the only woman who isn't his sister and she's nice so it's born from that.

Yay for classics and romance they're the best things ever when thrown together so don't worry there is a lot more of them to come! :D

-Kiana


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Review #17, by Ravenclaw333Acanthus: Bones

11th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Remember how I said a chapter or two ago that ancient cities are all Iím about? Iím going to expand on that and say ancient abandoned cities with a violent past of Roman conquest and terrifying ghosts/enchantments/random bones are DEFINITELY all Iím about and Iím in love with this whole premise and everything about whatís happening in Acanthus right now.

I donít know how much of this is based on your own travels/experiences but the stray animals line made me smile because have you been to Pompeii there are stray dogs EVERYWHERE

Lorcanís theorising. I hope Lorcan theorises something cool/correct/bone-chillingly creepy.

I love the scenes with Hermione and Hasani and the ways they open up to each other and close off again, and the tension between Hermione and the rest of her family is really well done given the environment and everything thatís at stake Ė really well done.

I feel like Iím being a stuck record with everything Iím saying about the Scorpius storyline but I canít wait to find out whatís going on and who Frederic Russell is and I love the little details of characterisation you throw in, like Scorpiusís lack of pity and how itís the first time heís ever felt that, and youíre building this perfect image of a rounded and complex character with those little snippets and details and PLEASE DONíT KILL HIM IíM SO ATTACHED

Iím so excited and so scared for the next chapter

Author's Response: Bahahaha, yes I did remember so I'm so glad that you liked it here because it means so much to me given how you know so much about ancient cities. It's also a good thing that you do like them as they appear a lot more in this story from this point onwards. I have been to Pompeii and it was really sad because they were like don't touch the dogs but I wanted to as they were so cute and adorable and I loved them.

Bahaha, Lorcan's theories should become a thing I swear, but yes pay attention to them. ♥

I'm so glad that you liked them, because I think Hermione always has this strange ability to root out the ones who could be useful to her or need her and she did it with Hasani, so I'll be looking at those two a lot more from now on.

Aw, I'm so glad you're excited about that because that storyline took a back seat in a way compared to the main with Rose, so it's great that you still liked it. As for finding out more about Frederic and whether Scorpius will die or not, the last few chapters should give you all the answers in regards to that ;)

Thanks for a great review :D

-Kiana


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Review #18, by Ravenclaw333Acanthus: Motes of History

11th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

I love this scene with Hermione and Hasani, itís perfect and so important and brilliantly handled, and really shows the effects that Roseís adventure has had on those sheís left behind Ė firstly Hermione and her panic over whatís happened, and Hasani and his anxiety over Rashidi and Dalila and the way he takes that out on Hermione Ė it was so, so well done, especially the comments about rich people and foreigners and how all his bitterness and anger comes out at once Ė itís just perfect, again, and itís fantastic that youíve included that. And that ending with Hermione and Hasani deciding to look for them together Ė I love everything about that whole scene.

Iím so worried about Scorpius and Rashidi and Dalila IíM SO WORRIED SCORPIUS IS RIGHT EVERYTHING HAPPENED TOO EASILY WHATíS GOING TO HAPPEN I DONíT WANT ANYONE TO DIE DONíT LET ANYONE DIE

And the TEMPLE the way you describe it is just perfect and Iím so intrigued by everything and

WHAT JUST HAPPENED OH NO

Author's Response: Hey, hey, hey!

Aw, I'm so glad that you liked it as this relationship was so unexpected and I never intended to explore it but I'm really glad I did as it turned out to be a lot more fun than I ever could have anticipated so yay for that. Whoo, whoo, whoo though whether this expedition will be as dangerous as it was for the original group is the question to be answered I guess :P

Haha, Scorpius really does take too much on board doesn't he? Don't worry too much about him as he is this exceptional ability to pull through things shall I say?

Thanks for an amazing review! :D

-Kiana


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Review #19, by Ravenclaw333Acanthus: Discoveries

11th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

OH MY GOD THEY MADE IT THEYíRE THERE THEYíRE AT ACANTHUS

Oh, Rose, I feel you. This entire bit just feels like it was lifted from my trip to the Acropolis (sweaty gross hike up the hill, check; spontaneous bursting into tears, check and check) and gah Iím just so excited to see how this goes and what Acanthus is like AH ACANTHUS

ÖAncient cities are everything Iím about, tbh.

Ron and Hermione are PERFECT and I love that little quip about Hermione being the brightest witch of her age because people seem to forget/ignore Ronís sense of humour, especially in Next Gen stuff, and itís so good to see it here and their whole interaction/dynamic is just perfect.

That bit about Scorpius finding his own family in Rashidi and Dalila is so sweet and so telling as well, the way he never had moments like that with his own family, and CURSE BREAKER SCORPIUS IN ACTION WITH COPTIC EGYPTIAN HEíS SUCH A RAVENCLAW IT WARMS MY HEART I AM FEELING SO MUCH HOUSE PRIDE RIGHT NOW. CELSA SUB CONVENIANT AQUILA SAPIENTES MENTES.

THE PLOT THICKENS! ONWARD!

Author's Response: YES THEY ARE HERE PARTY IN THE HOUSE #WHOOP#WHOOP

I know, it is such an exciting time to get there I really wanted to explore it even more but I was like wait probs should hold back a little at first so we can ease into it and then go a bit cray cray next chapter because I have to be calm and collected in exciting moments like this.

Bahaha, I'm glad you enjoyed it and writing these two as a minor pairing is something I've always loved to do so it means a lot to me that you liked it ehre too.

I know, it was just so cute as they're so nice and lovely and warm unlike his own family who are a bit creepy if I'm being honest so let's embrace these people!

Thanks for another fantastic review! :D

-Kiana


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Review #20, by Ravenclaw333Acanthus: Cartography

11th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

I AM BACK ON MY MISSION AND THE ACANTHUS GANG ARE BACK ON THEIRS ITíS GO TIME

I love your description. Thereís nothing new in that and I always love it but the way you manage to evoke such perfect images from a few words is fantastic, and even the choice of words reflects the scene and the setting perfectly (like Ďpenmanship,í that just sticks out to me as being perfect for this old map in the 1920s and Iím not sure if itís deliberate or subconscious but there are subtle differences in your vocabulary outside the dialogue between the modern setting and the í20s and oh man IT IS SO COOL)

I am so fascinated by this map how did they get it whatís all the secrecy surrounding it I want to KNOW THINGS

I love Charlotte. Charlotte is so sweet and lovely and I want to keep her forever and Iím glad Rose sort of confided in her and I just want them to be BFFs.

HOLY MOTHER OF CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. THE WAR. WWI AND DAVID AND DESERTION AND THE STIGMA AGAINST IT OH THIS IS PERFECT THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

AND SCORPIUS AND THE OTHERS WITH THEIR ESCAPE IíM SO WORRIED ARE THEY GOING TO GET TO ROSE DID THEY MESS UP THEIR CHANCES BY NOT PLAYING ALONG WITH MYSTERY MANíS GAME OH NO

Author's Response: YES YOU ARE AND YOU GO GIRL.

Aw, thank you lovely! I'm so glad that you liked it as it was a lot of fun! You should definitely try and write a historical novel sort of thing because I think it makes you even more aware of those sorts of things so you really improve because of it which is always a good thing!

Aw, yay for Charlotte, but ahahaha as for Rose and her being BFFs just watch and wait would be my main piece of advice really and don't do too much wishful thinking.

YES YES YES I'M SO GLAD THAT YOU LIKED IT AS IT WAS SO MUCH FUN TO DO AND #HISTORICALNESS.

YES THEY ARE BUT IT MIGHT NOT BE AS BAD AS YOU THINK SO DON'T WORRY TOO MUCH FOR NOW. #EVILLAUGH.

Thanks for a fab review, Lisa!

-Kiana


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Review #21, by Ravenclaw333Shenanigans and Hi-Jinks: The Hogwarts Express

9th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review - Educational Decree #6

This is such a fantastic little story! I love everything about this - the friendship between Fred and Victoire, and the exchange of blame between them about who was responsible for making them late - I don't know why that bit stuck out to me, but it does and it's fantastic - and trying to figure out how to get to school, and the idea of getting Teddy to help them. Your characterisation is lovely, and I definitely want to read more of these two, so I'll be checking out your other stories! And was that a bit of Teddy/Victoire there? That was so sweet and awkward and perfect!

I'm really curious about how they spent their day now. This was a wonderful story, and I'm so keen to read more stories that fit into this universe!

Author's Response: That was definitely a bit of Teddy/Victoire! They're one of my favorite couples - I have a lot of Teddy/Victoire fics, and I think they were the first couple I tackled after my initial Rose/Scorpius story, so I'm quite fond of them.

I'm so glad you liked it, and thank you so much for the review! :)


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Review #22, by Ravenclaw333Pure Intentions: Red Hot

9th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review - Educational Decree #6

I'm glad I have the opportunity to actually reread/review parts of this story individually rather than going through it all in one fell swoop. You've done such a good job here with characterisation and emotions, particularly with Scorpius, and outlining the tensions between him, his family, Rose's family and of course Albus. I loved your line about how Scorpius's love for a man didn't matter to his family, but could be accomodated with a woman - that says it all regarding the Malfoy attitudes to sexuality. The Weasleys are brilliantly done as well - Hugo being the inappropriate little brother, Hermione trying to be polite, Ron being downright hostile.

I forgot how messy the whole Albus/Scorpius/Rose triangle is, and you do such a good job with illustrating it without a big confrontation scene between them. Brilliant job, as always!

Author's Response: Lisaa!!

I'm so thrilled you came back for parts of this. I think red hot is my favorite chapter from PI. Scorpius is a bit complicated here. he's fighting through wanting to meet his parent's expectations but also be as happy as he can be in the situation. I did like pointing out the Malfoy's hypocrisy when it came to love. Hugo is my favorite minor character in this just because he's so snarky.

one difficult thing when I was writing this was that I didn't want some huge knock-out-drag-out fight with this love triangle. It was a challenge.

THANKS FOR A WONDERFUL REVIEW!

-Rose


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Review #23, by Ravenclaw333Waiting on You: Waiting on You

9th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review!

I SAID I WOULD BE THE FIRST TO REVIEW THIS AND EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT I HOPE THE SENTIMENT IS STILL THERE

This is such a cute wee one-shot! You've characterised Albus really nicely here - touching on the pressures he feels because of his family and how Scorpius is a refuge from that. I particularly love the line "It was different and refreshing to ignore last names, rather than dwell on the complexities that came with them," and I think that's a major factor with this ship in particular. The way you dealt with coming out and being ready to do that was really well done and woven nicely in with the romantic aspect - all in all, an excellent first slash story! You should definitely write more :)

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Review #24, by Ravenclaw333Acanthus: Plans and Preparations

9th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Kiana oh my God this line is incredible: ďIt was as if the room was waiting for them to decay so they could become a permanent fixture of it.Ē I have no words for how perfect this is so Iím just going to leave it here. And the line about how Scorpius didnít feel like a Ravenclaw, because all he wanted to do was give up and not solve the problem Ė oh man, I know that feeling. I know that feeling so well and Ravenclaw isnít as much a part of my identity as it is Scorpiusís Ė well, Iím assuming not. The juryís out on that one.

IíM SO WORRIED ABOUT RASHIDI

Roseís self-awareness in this chapter is fantastic. Not going to lie, I was waiting for her to stand back and go ďI done goofed guys,Ē and now it seems she has.

YOU DID THE THING AGAIN. THE THING DESCRIBING CHARACTERS THROUGH THE EYES OF ANOTHER AND I LOVE SEEING HERMIONE THROUGH HUGOíS EYES YES OKAY

HERMIONE GRANGER ON A MISSION. YES. GOOD.

Okay I need to stop throwing your own writing back at you but this line, ďPretending to be brave when it wasnít your natural inclination was a great downfall of many,Ē is just such a good one and I love it and itís perfect and contrasts Scorpius so brilliantly with Rose and Ravenclaw with Gryffindor, and I am ALL ABOUT how those two houses are natural opposites and you show that so well in that one line and Iím getting philosophical so itís time to MOVE ON

Author's Response: Hahaha, aw, I'm glad that you liked it! Yes, it's another we all need to hug Scorpius so he can feel somewhat ok again even though I'm not sure if that's possible. It must suck a lot when you reach that stage of despairing especially when lives depend on it, so poor Scorpius lets go and hug him!

YOU SHOULD BE.

Bahahaha, go Rose, she might do in a bit. :P

YAY I'M GLAD YOU LIKED IT BUT THIS IS HUGO'S ONLY CAMEO. BUT HERMIONE IS GOING TO KICK SOME BOOTY AND MAYBE SOME OF THE OTHERS MIGHT DO IT WITH HER.

Yay I'm glad you liked it because it is strange how much the house stereotypes can be applied to people later on in their lives and it still continues to haunt them. I do think Ravenclaws and Gryffindors are actual opposites too though which is why Scorose is so fab and philosophicalness is great as I study it so I welcome it with open arms!

Thanks for another great review! :D

-Kiana


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Review #25, by Ravenclaw333Acanthus: To Anywhere

9th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review!

Ah, Iím so excited for more details on the 1920s crew! I love the amount of historical detail you throw into this story and how you manage to make them so real and believable and human Ė so often I see characters in historical settings who are written to be almost alien, their personalities buried or entirely dictated by their era Ė but thereís something timeless about a directionless young man wandering around abroad and jumping on expeditions in Egypt for funsies.

Also, I really like that line about Rose wondering if her Ďgoalí is Acanthus or home Ė it shows how the whole thing is taking a toll on her sense of adventure and determination, while making it clear sheís not panicking and eager to get back.

Iím honestly so curious about this whole situation and whether everything is as it seems (probably not, Iím guessing) and what the í20s Crew are keeping from them.

OH. OH ITíS MAGIC. OH THERE ARE WANDS. OH THIS IS AN EXCITING DEVELOPMENT

WAIT SCORPIUS KILLED SOMEONE? OR IS SCORPIUS GOING TO KILL SOMEONE? I GUESS THATíS LINEAR TIME THROWN WELL OUT THE WINDOW

Author's Response: Whoo hi Lisa!

Yay for more details! I'm so glad that you liked it as the 20th century is one of my favourite eras of history even if I was born in it (gah, it makes me feel so old :P) as there were so many discoveries like these in Egypt it really was a lot of fun to write because there's modernity in a way, but then something still classic about this era.

Yeah, it's around this point that Rose begins to feel more and more tied to the 1920s as well as home which is really interesting because it just shows how much you can change.

Yes they are magical which means the developments with the 1920s crew are even more interesting and fun and I hope you liked them! Ooooh, yes the revelation about Scorpius also ties in with the 1920s crew being magical so bear that in mind as it could mean something, something really big so yeah just keep thinking about that!

Thanks for another fab review :D

-Kiana


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