Reading Reviews From Member: ad astra
  
334 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ad astraIn April: you lie.

23rd July 2015:
erin this hurts so much

it's a really difficult thing to make a reader feel so much in just 500 words but my heart is absolutely breaking and this whole story just hit me so hard. it's that raw desperation which just kills me. you can feel the love in this story, and the grief and the sense of loss, and it's so short but it packs such a punch.

You exist in Spring, in the midst of showers, in the fragrance of petals that carry your very essence. And you resonate within me. i want to marry this line. i don't know what the rest of the context was in the anime you pulled the you exist in spring bit from but there's no doubt in my mind that it would pale in comparison to what you've done with it here. And you resonate within me is just stunning and perfect and an incredible note to leave on.

i can't believe you wrote this so quickly it's incredible and poignant and it hurts so much

 Report Review

Review #2, by ad astraLoving Luna: Loving Luna

19th July 2015:
Georgia dear, here with your requested review (and sorry I took so long getting to it!)

Regarding your area of concern - I think you've done a really good job writing Luna exploring her sexuality, and particularly the passage about queer and how it relates to Luna's identity - it's a lovely piece of characterisation for her as well as capturing an important part of the queer experience. The structure you've chosen works really well with the content, and i love the way you run through each 'relationship' Luna has and build up a rich picture of her romantic and sexual experiences.

As you mentioned, you moved away from the theme of seeing Luna through the eyes of people who fall in love with her - it doesn't detract from the story at all or the overall theme of Luna's self-discovery, but the switch partway through to a more Luna-focused point of view makes the story as a whole seem slightly inconsistent - if you were to revise this story at all, I'd suggest you try and balance each relationship covered in the story with both partners' perspectives. the Stella/Luna segment in particular focuses a lot more on Luna than earlier segments, so balancing it with more of Stella's perspective would really help with the concept you're going for, without losing the "Luna finds herself" theme you've developed alongside it.

a couple of other notes on terminology - transexual in the Layla segment is an outdated term, and you should revise it to transgender. and when Rolf comes out to Luna, it would be better for him to say he's transgender, or "assigned female at birth" (AFAB) rather than that he was born with a female body - these are the terms preferred by the transgender community.

Overall, I think you've done a really admirable job with this story and it fits in so well with what we know of Luna from the canon - you've characterised her flawlessly here, and everything she says and does really rings true. Luna's a difficult character to get right, but you've not only captured her essence but enriched her character and made her far more three-dimensional than she was in the books. This whole piece has a lovely air of self-discovery, openness and acceptance, and it was a real pleasure to read.

 Report Review

Review #3, by ad astrapaper cranes: letters to a (dead) sweetheart

18th July 2015:
emily

i haven't reviewed this?? i don't know what i was thinking?? i read it and cried over it and i'm pretty sure i yelled at you about giving me feels and i didn't review it?? i am trash i'm sorry but you, my dear, you are a goddess for writing this

but anyway, this is some of your best writing and it's just. so. heartbreaking and poignant. Dean's visit absolutely kills me and how Ted gave Dean the chance to lead the life he's leading with Seamus and i just.

i'm overcome

and the cranes why you gotta do this to me emily this was cruel

and the interspersing of ted and andromeda's relationship at hogwarts and the way that developed and andromeda's gradual shift away from her family's values and towards ted with her letters to him after he was gone i'm just. you built up this absolutely beautiful picture of them when they were young and it was the two of them against the world, and then the snapshots of their life together that andromeda remembers in her letters and the melancholy and the wistfulness of her letters to him - it's such a rich relationship and you manage to create and destroy them all at once

can we talk about the way you end this story for a sec because

Instead the sun is shining and there are barely any clouds in the sky, and the dishes are happily washing themselves in the sink, and Andromeda buries her her head in her hands and lets the tears run down her face.

this is just so.perfect?? because it hits her when everything should be going okay, the sun is shining and the world is continuing on like usual and there's nothing special about that moment, but she just breaks because she realises, properly, that he's gone and he's not coming back, and she's left alone

the structure of this is just so good and you have such incredible lines in here and it's just beautiful and melancholic and utterly heartfelt and i need a moment

 Report Review

Review #4, by ad astraFake-Fake-Dating: one.

18th July 2015:
AW YISS. EMILY'S MADCAP NEXT GEN ROMPS. I'M SO EXCITED

He says Louis in the French-affected and vaguely offended way which always makes Louis think of his mother this is a fantastic mental image. i like to think of all the weasley cousins gathered together at christmas or w/e mimicking fleur's accent and then pretending innocence when she glares at them and asks what's going on

“What do I do?” Louis asked, dragging out the last o, feeling as though he was shouting into the void.

A moment later, the void answered through the mortal form of Freddy Weasley.
i love you. that's all i need to say about these lines here. i love you and your humour and just...this *gestures to all of you*

FAKE DATING. BE STILL MY HEART

“You know I was nearly Sorted into Slytherin,” he said, fortifying himself with another drink and then dissolving into mutters of how his moral compass was disintegrating. what are you saying about us snakes and our moral compasses, Feathers

This is a very complicated plan. I'm so proud of us. this sounds like something we have said, to each other, probably more than once. how much have i inspired this madcap romp

am i first? please let me be first by all the gods on olympus

 Report Review

Review #5, by ad astraMorningstar: Watching You Fall

16th July 2015:
ROSE. I AM HERE IT IS TIME god help me

okay i need to take a moment because despite my BEST EFFORTS i have TEARS. THIS WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN. MY SOUL IS A COLD DARK ABYSS. I AM UNTOUCHABLE. except when you sink my OTP in the cruellest of ways, Rose. the cruellest. how dare you go canon on me i am upset

you and i both know why i'm here. it's not for the review. it's not for carefully thought out, coherent feedback. it's for the tears. you wrote this for the tears. you thrive on them. you collect them like bounty. i am simply paying my dues.

I watch in a lonely vigil each wax and wane, knowing that your light will never shine for me again. do you know what this was? this was RUDE.

(real talk for a sec?? this is some of your best writing and you are nailing the imagery and the beautiful poignant lines in this piece but don't for a second think i've forgiven you because you used pretty prose to ruin me.)

i have always pointedly and steadfastedly ignored the fact that Sirius would have watched Remus fall for Tonks and now? i can't unsee it? tragedy is everywhere and my life as i know it is over?

you are a cruel and merciless god.

Author's Response: Lisa!!

*hands chocolate*

I don't know if I can reply to this without flailing about.

I'm sure you can imagine *my* anguish as Remus/Tonks and Sirius/Remus are my two OTPs. My heart and brain have been struggling with this for ages. Anything I did to you, I've done to myself many times over.

Your toll has been accepted.

I BLAME YOU FOR THAT LINE - PUSHING ME TOWARDS THE CELESTIAL THEME.

Okay, I'm really really excited that you liked the imagery and poetic nature of this. While I was writing it I thought it was crap (mainly lacking narrative structure). You'll forgive me eventually. ;)

Just... avoid reading OotP for a while and you'll be okay.

Thank you for your tears and words.

-Rose


 Report Review

Review #6, by ad astraInanimate Objects: where possible salvation reverts back to impossible salvation

15th July 2015:
EMILY.

i feel weird doing a requested review on a story you wrote for me and i should probably point out that i absolutely would have gotten to review this ANYWAY in my customary "quote things back to you and make dumb comments about it" style but i also appreciate your enthusiasm for my review thread. also, how do you Properly Seriously Review a parody?? who knows but this probably won't be a Proper Serious Review

okay so first off your area of concern was levels of crackiness and whether this fic has too much crack, whether it can stand some more crack, and i suppose in general just a positive reading from my Certified Crack-O-Meter.

the Certified Crack-O-Meter says you're sitting at Chipped Porcelain, which is a step up from Slightly Chipped Porcelain and not quite as bad as Cracked Porcelain (see what I did there?) and certainly a long way off from Smashed Porcelain. let's deconstruct the porcelain for a moment

there's kind of a fine line to walk when writing parody that runs along the edges of Funny and Just Ridiculous and you manage to stick to the Funny side without toppling headfirst, limbs windmilling, into Just Ridiculous. it's a difficult balance to strike and you do it admirably - though if i had any crit about the crackiness/ridiculousness levels it would probably be that both 'smashed' and 'porcelain' have stopped looking like real words. also, i'd like to hereby start a petition for a spinoff featuring a heavy metal band called Smashed Porcelain. i think they'd be...wait for it...smashing.

It was June’s required reading two years ago. this is my favourite line in the entire chapter. i hope i'm not doing a disservice to the rest of the fantastic lines in this chapter but this one is just perfect because of the mental images of Candelabra & Co. sitting down in front of a roaring fire at Death Eater Book Club asking each other "so now what did you think of Virgil's characterisation in Canto V? having read the Eclogues I felt it was somewhat OOC." bless you for this imagery gift

i love this and i love you. stay classy

 Report Review

Review #7, by ad astraA Study in Silver: Prologue: The Lodger

15th July 2015:
Hey Roisin! Here for your requested review - and thank you for being my first request, I hope I can live up to expectation!

Firstly, looking at your areas of concern - you're right, this is a long chapter. That's not a problem in itself because your writing is engaging enough that it doesn't drag on, but if you were to split the chapter I would do it after Perry introduces himself as a consulting Auror and make the first chapter a prologue - it's enough to hook the reader into the story and encourage them to keep reading, and making it a prologue instead of a full chapter means you can get away with having a much lower word count without making your chapter lengths too inconsistent, if that makes sense? When it comes to story structure i'm very pro-prologue (that looks terrible written down) so I'm probably coming at this with a bit of a bias, but that's my two cents anyway

as for spelling/grammar derps - this is a pretty polished chapter, but I'll drop off a few that I found:
tennant should be tenant
Twenty eight years old should be hyphenated
victorian roofs Victorian should be capitalised
radiating off of him - should be radiating off him
heavy-footfalls - you don't need this hyphenated

As for general impressions on your writing style: this entire chapter is rich in detail and your writing flows really well. One thing I would suggest watching out for, though, is that you have a slight tendency to overuse descriptors - it's not enough to detract from the story and for the most part your use of language perfectly reflects the tone and atmosphere of the chapter, but in some occasions you let adjectives, adverbs and specific or emotive verbs pile up in a sentence, and these could be better balanced with more common words - stacking up descriptors can lessen the impact of them and weaken the image rather than strengthen it.

Overall, though, this is an excellent first chapter and if I wasn't coming at it with a view to do a full on, crit-heavy review I doubt I'd find any problems with it. Your worldbuilding and attention to detail is absolutely a credit to you as a writer, and I don't come across many stories that have fleshed out wizarding society as thoroughly and believably as you have here. There were so many moments I had reading this of "wow, that's an amazing piece of detail" and I'm particularly impressed by your construction of the luxury, higher-income lifestyle that Roxanne is used to, and the realities of her giving that up - especially when she's considering all the galleons she's thrown away on coffee and other luxuries over the years. I also really appreciated the legislation surrounding Mugglebaiting and its classification as a potential war crime - that shows an incredible depth of perception regarding the impact of the war on society.

You've done an amazing job on this first chapter and you've obviously put a lot of time and thought into it. this story is already a credit to the effort you make with your writing and I'm really looking forward to seeing what you do with it. Feel free to re-request anytime!

P.S i loved the shoutout to The Fred Weasley Memorial Scholarship in here and especially the "Merlin Help Us" addendum, it kinda made my night so thank you!

Author's Response: OH MY GOD LISA WHAT IS THIS SORCERY!?!?! How is it that you got to this SO FAST and wrote a review SO EXCELLENT!

Your idea to split the chapter after Perry introduces himself is BRILLIANT AND PERFECT AND I AM GOING TO DO THAT NOW! LIKE... RIGHT NOW. YES. Way to be a guardian angel and answer to my every prayer! I literally (literally) don't think I can thank you enough!

Also--so much thanks for help with the grammar derps!

I totally see what you mean about descriptors. Writing in a different style, especially humor, was certainly a learning experience. I gave myself a bit more license with adverbs for this genre, but I think you're right that the language would benefit from being reined in--especially when it isn't for comedic effect. (I'm also trying to balance tagging my dialogue better)

As I'm sure I've mentioned at some point, I've worked a lot around social justice issues and things--even working in the office of a legislator and on a political campaign--so I had a crazy amount of fun nerding out about political climes and postwar stuff :D HP is basically a political text to me, and my reading of it is very focused on the sociopolitical aspects (which is why my fics are SUH MUCH COMMENTARY).

And YAY, I'm glad you dug the shout out! With my first fic, a lot of people noticed how much canon and pottermore-side-canon I wove in and nodded to, but that was largely because I wrote it before EVER having read any FF. Now that I have, I can't NOT nod to and meta with other stories (especially when they become my headcanon).

Seriously, Lisa, you are amazing and this review is my everything.

THANK YOU!
xoxo
Roisin




 Report Review

Review #8, by ad astraPain Makes You Beautiful: Rated Mature for themes and content.

12th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

This story absolutely kills me. I've seen a lot of people talking about it on the forums but what you've done here just surpasses all expectations and it's easily the best Wolfstar I've ever read (and I read a lot of Wolfstar so I don't say that lightly)

Your characterisation of both Sirius and Remus is perfect. You've gone into so much more depth with their characters than anything I normally see and it's gutwrenching. I live for this stuff it's amazing

There are two kinds of scars. The ones that bind us together, and the ones that leave a gulf between us. I don’t know what Remus does to me, but I like it. Too much, I think. this line is so perfect and it sums up their entire dynamic so well, because Remus and Sirius are a broken, falling apart mess and I can't get over the characterisation here. I think people have a tendency to skim over how cold and distant Remus can be - I suppose because he's so easily idealised - but you have him down in this story.

And Pete. He uses words that I love, like 'mates' and 'good times' and 'always'. He brings up Remus, and I shake. He asks when we can all be together again, and I break.

He’s eager. Eyes wide. Grinning and nodding like I’m giving him the world.
You manage to solve one of the greatest mysteries of the entire series - why Sirius made him Secret-Keeper, why nobody suspected his duplicity, in only a few key lines and I feel like I'm becoming a stuck record here but your portrayal of these boys at crisis point is so unbelievably well done. You take the canon and you enrich it beyond compare and I am just in awe of this piece.

10/10, phenomenal writing.

 Report Review

Review #9, by ad astraGame On: Wotter Twister - UnluckyStar57 - Ravenclaw

6th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

Mallory i am back and this story is fabulous as per usual (also there needs to be a written short form of 'usual' because it is important for my effortlessly cool online persona)

Wotter Twister with Elasticity Potion is a grand idea i love it and As they were now fourth years, their cousins deemed it “safe enough” for them to drink the potion and participate “without any long-lasting developmental effects.” look at james and the other older lot looking after the wee babies what a responsible young man he is

Molly, in the meantime, was gracefully posing as she perched on her dots. All that yoga really worked to her advantage, as did her preternatural grace (only bestowed by the Wizard Gods on the Hogwarts Head Students). i love this how do you characterise so efficiently in a single one-shot

“I shoplift like a professional,” Molly said immediately. “And I’m not ashamed. I just never bothered to tell anyone.” exhibit b. i love molly

this was a radbuckets read and i will be back to peruse your other HC stuff at my leisure

 Report Review

Review #10, by ad astraGame On: Learning to Fly - BookDinosaur - Ravenclaw

6th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

Ah, Gilderoy. no recollection of anything of any worth but still painfully aware of your alleged attractiveness and your fanclub, bless him and his persistent arrogance

Naturally, this was a very quick time, as Gilderoy was a beautifully fast learner. In no time he could become a professional flyer, he thought happily to himself. some things never change

Gilderoy Lockhart woke up, stretched, and closed his eyes against the sunlight that was falling against his face. It felt warm, and nice and all that, but he’d read somewhere that sunlight wrinkled skin, and that was the last thing that Gilderoy wanted. Really, would his fan club stick around if he had wrinkles in his skin? No, of course they wouldn’t. He tugged the curtain around his bed shut. is it bad that my first thought was that he'd turned into a vampire and closely followed by the thought that maybe vampires are just really aggressive about their anti-ageing skincare regimes and not bloodsucking supernatural beings after all

He hadn’t seen his reflection in a mirror because they wouldn’t let him have one of his own, but that was alright because he knew he looked amazing. is this because the Mungo's staff have realised he's the twentieth century reincarnation of Narcissus and that if he looks at himself in the mirror he'd waste away in front of it bc tbh i will accept no other explanation

“Gladys Gudgeon,” he read off the card, “sends her regards.” good Godric, Gilderoy, that woman is going to get her political allies to kill you at your own wedding

 Report Review

Review #11, by ad astraGame On: Names - BookDinosaur - Ravenclaw

6th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

you've done it you've made me foghorn laugh out of nowhere and i'm not sure if that's a step up from the teary-eyed cackling i was doing earlier but it's a milestone and you wanna know the culprit

“Look, Donald,” he said gently. “Just because you were Puddlemere United doesn’t mean that we can go around naming our team Puddlemere Divided –”


“I know that,” Donald said irritably. “That’s why I suggested Puddlemare Divided, not Puddlemere United.”
ole Donnie's a bit of a hard case i love him

i also like how Donald's the only one who actually has a name. it fits with the nameless motif you've got going on. very artistic. and of course there's the irony because the nameless girl gives the nameless team a name while Donald the Named fails in naming the nameless team

hello i'm lisa and i haven't slept

 Report Review

Review #12, by ad astraGame On: Chess Tournaments - BookDinosaur - Ravenclaw

6th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 - Slytherin

Emily Feathers BookDinosaur

(read this in a stern motherly tone in lieu of your actual full name which is probably only known to god himself and, at a stretch, the australian government)

what is this what is this it was a perfectly normal fic of Ludo Bagman being a bit of a wasp-obsessed loser and chess not being very interesting and then you finish with this

Next year, he thought, I’m going to have them play chess on a table of wasps while the national anthem plays in the background and a tear of patriotic pride runs down the face of the wasp-mascot.

?

i'd like to submit an outsider's vote for this line to win SOTM Best Quote (i can totally do that right i'm like an expat casting a special vote from overseas?? anyway) because like. can we just take a moment to appreciate the sheer aesthetic of this scene and the number of questions it raises, including but not limited to
1) how does one make a table of wasps. are they bound together by some invisible force, is it magic, how much freedom of movement do these wasps have
2) does the wizarding world have their own national anthem and if so, what is it? if not, how much do wizards acknowledge the british monarchy? do they even understand the concept of a monarchy do they know what they are singing
3) is the wasp-mascot ludo and if not, how much would he have to pay someone to dress up as a wasp and cry on cue
4) Bees?

 Report Review

Review #13, by ad astraGame On: Invention - BookDinosaur - Ravenclaw

6th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

okay so i love this?? i love that the person who came up with something as absolutely bonkers as Quidditch makes his dramatic entrance dressed in red and yellow robes with a blue scarf (the man must have been such an eyesore?? i want to take a photo of him and put it on instagram tagged #aesthetic) and is just generally an unapologetic weirdo whose best friend is suitably long-suffering

i would build a shrine to your sense of humour and bring it offerings of...i got nothing i can't even think of what the patron deity of your humour would appreciate but the POINT IS i love this bit: “The answer!” Gerwie exclaimed. After a suitably dramatic pause, he continued. “The answer to all our woes of boredom and cries for entertainment!” His sleeves slid down his arms to reveal pale skin. why do i love it? who knows. maybe its the irreverence, maybe it's the flair for the dramatic that would put one sirius black to shame. maybe it's just the all-important visual of a skinny, pasty fruit cake in joseph's technicolour dream coat with his arms aloft, proclaiming boredom to be Vanquished Forevermore.

“Gerwie,” Wiberon said, “look, you know I appreciate you and your ideas. But that is never going to catch on, okay? Drop it,” he advised, and went back to his scribbling. i love a good dose of dramatic irony don't you

of course you do you wrote it

stay classy

 Report Review

Review #14, by ad astraGame On: Volume II: Envy - BookDinosaur - Ravencalw

6th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

HELLO EMILY

this is golden. this is absolutely fantastic this is draco malfoy at his arrogant preteen best and i lovehim you capture his voice so well i can picture him scowling at the fish outside the common room window having this little internal monologue. draco, my trash son

He’d just been making a little fun of Neville – who was his classmate, and nowhere near as good as him, and therefore fair game i can't fault your logic there dracie but people tend to raise moral objections to picking on hapless classmates

Potter was always stealing the attention. First, he had been lucky enough to be The Chosen One – and it didn’t matter that Draco’s dad, his whole family, were always muttering rebelliously about how without Potter they might have been in the middle of their glory days – and now he had apparently grown Quidditch skills along with a weird personality. Draco still didn’t understand why Potter had turned down his offer of friendship. They were supposed to be best friends. there is so much characterisation going on here and you manage it while still holding on to this whiney-eleven-year-old voice and it's so good??? because it's a really subtle way of pointing out both draco's sense of entitlement - which is impossible to ignore because that kid is the poster boy of entitlement - and the fact that he's lonely and had this expectation of a friend that ended up shattered and he's still too young to understand why

emily you are the bestest

 Report Review

Review #15, by ad astraGame On: Volume II: Hagman - UnluckyStar57 - Ravenclaw

6th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

Hagman

you honestly have the best story ideas and this one is no exception i love it how do you even come up with this stuff

this is so typical of ron i can just picture him bored in the common room one day and deciding to mess with some itsy bitsy gryffindors and just fishing colin out of thin air. and of course he gets away with it because colin's muggleborn and can't actually know for sure that Xaocopate Tlugz aren't actually a real thing (although i love that he still keeps an eye out for them at Honeydukes anyway. bless colin creevey what an adorable wee muppet)

also like. using broken spellchecking quills for a rigged variation of hangman is ingenious??? you are far too creative for the rest of us mere mortals

 Report Review

Review #16, by ad astraGame On: Volume II: Andromeda’s Game - UnluckyStar57 - Ravenclaw

6th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

TEDROMEDA YAS

you probably already know that this is adorable, O Queen of Fluff, but i really love the dynamic you set up between ted and andromeda (and also the continuity with the Blacks not being allowed to play games) and andromeda's characterisation - i think this line says it all: Andromeda tried to be imperious again. “And what makes you think this will become a regular occurrence?”

also you should know that when i opened this story i lost it at classes were really starting to roast her goose and then i went away to do groceries and came back and laughed at it again and i don't know what it is about roasting geese that's so inherently hilarious to me but that's a gem of a line tbh

also speaking of gems of lines this one: He finally answered the redundant question. “Ted Tonks, at your service, Miss Black. Hufflepuff Quidditch Captain and All-Around Great Guy.”


She rolled her eyes. “It does not become a gentleman to brag upon himself.”
this sums up the difference between them so perfectly, it's like they come from different worlds (and they do) or different centuries (they probably don't) and you illustrate that so well a+

 Report Review

Review #17, by ad astraGame On: Volume II: 52-Card Exploding Snap Pick-Up - UnluckyStar57 - Ravenclaw

6th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

this is such an a+ idea i love it so much and also how have i never read a story from Peeves' perspective? clearly i am Missing Out and i'm so glad you have introduced me to this world of poltergeisten hijinks. that's an adjective now i don't make the rules

Hermononucleosis Stranger so like, does the wizarding world have autocorrect and is this what comes out when you plug Hermione Granger into it because that is golden

Herman. Ms Lone Ranger i love everything about this apparently i have such a weakness for hermione being called ridiculous variants of her name

There was no need for her to get sooty before bedtime. this is such a hermione thing to think i can practically see her rolling her eyes and sighing a bit at the lack of imagination and how easy it was to outwit him

mallory for president

 Report Review

Review #18, by ad astraGame On: Volume II: Cat and Mouse - UnluckyStar57 - Ravenclaw

6th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

OH MY GOD MALLORY YOU DIDN'T

also you gave me a shoutout i do love minerva and i'm already crying with laughter because my cat is called minerva and i'm sure that's not news to you but sweet salazar this is fantastic

Minnie the Kitten i am sobbing i don't even know how i'm going to get through this i love it so much you're amazing and ALSO because this is meant to be a review with coherent feedback and stuff (?) i love that you've made Young Minerva transform into a kitten that makes so much sense and is also so adorable (especially because i'm picturing my minnie when she was a kitten and i'm so happy)

also DOUGAL. dougal

she secretly vowed to never play games as a kitten again. She would rather flirt as a human being, after all. can we talk about how this is the cutest thing to ever happen? i proclaim you Queen of Fluff that is your title from here on in

 Report Review

Review #19, by ad astraGame On: Volume II: Irate Owls - UnluckyStar57 - Ravenclaw

6th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

OWLS PLAYING GAMES i am so here for this your entries are an absolute gift bless you

okay so this may be the two-seasons-in-two-days scrubs marathon i'm in the middle of rn but this line Unlike his uptight mentor, Hedwig, Pig was full of pep and vigor reminds me so much of JD and Cox and i actually just tried searching the Cabin to see if you were in the haven't-watched-scrubs camp or the scrubs-is-fab camp (spoiler: i couldn't go back that far) but at any rate i appreciated this line and even without scrubs references Hedwig as an uptight mentor is a such a beautiful mental image

As the owls had done with Hedwig a few years earlier, they summoned Pig on one of the rare occasions that he was sleeping. do these birds have initiation rituals

Pliny the Elder Owl i am SCREECHING

does this make me a.screech owl i need to stop

Birdies and gentleowls i can't

i have tears in my eyes you wrote angry birds/harry potter crossover fanfic and for some reason it's the greatest thing i've ever seen you need a knighthood

 Report Review

Review #20, by ad astraGame On: Volume II: Spot the Nargle - UnlcukyStar57 - Ravenclaw

6th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

mallory have i mentioned recently that i love your ability to turn a phrase because i really do. your humour is deadpan and matter-of-fact and i live for it. exhibit a: (Nargles ate ideas as a light appetizer before their main course of Aimless Thoughts. It was a nasty thing for them to do, really.) i have so many aimless thoughts i could feed a Nargle for the entirety of its natural life tbh. maybe i already have

walrus-mustachioed professor is the best epithet for slughorn i've ever seen

EP

IS THIS A

WAS THAT A

NEVILLE/LUNA THIS IS ADORABLE i'm sorry i have no chill but this is the thing ever “Thanks for, um, saving me from them, Luna.” bless him i love everything

 Report Review

Review #21, by ad astraGame On: Volume II: Dominoes - UnluckyStar57 - Ravenclaw

6th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

mallory you are a gift you really are

there is so much going on here i don't know whether to be touched by the sibling bonding going on here or laugh at sirius being - well - sirius. siriusly. kudos on the characterisation this line was amazing: But Sirius Black did not approve of the disapproval of the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black, so he did as he pleased. He went around in the Muggle world, had very Bad Behavior, and was a General Tomfool. And… he played games.

(it is now my dearest headcanon that Sirius has at least once in his life proclaimed himself as General Tomfool and i get the feeling i'm going to end up with a lot of dearest headcanons going through your entries)

“Are you ready for the dominoes race of a century, little bro?”


“Oh, bring it on!”
doesn't this scene just make you wish that regulus didn't die alone trying to make his big brother proud and that sirius didn't die before he discovered what regulus had done i mean

i'll see myself out

 Report Review

Review #22, by ad astraGame On: Volume II: Photosynthepranks - UnluckyStar57 - Ravenclaw

6th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

Mallory! I have decided to go through all (read: maybe 5-10) of your HC entries for this round because you piqued my interest in them SO MUCH during the writing process. i'm excited to see the finished products

firstly, how have you managed to personify plants?? i mean, i'm pretty sure i will come across weirder things in this collab and there are also weirder things in the wizarding world anyway but let's talk about this bit for a sec: Plants are quite intelligent and they have a lot of time to think while they do photosynthesis all day, but when it comes to revelry and rumpus, they are as mature as five year old children. And magical plants play the simplest game of all and how i want to compliment your characterisation of magical plants. i love it. this is golden

Oliver blinked. “I haven’t done anything to you, Percy. I don’t even want to talk to you right now! I swear to Merlin, you’re so annoying sometimes!” i am going to believe 100% that this is the beginning of a tropetastic hate-to-love percy/oliver and nothing you can say will convince me otherwise

this is going to be such a party thank you for writing this

 Report Review

Review #23, by ad astraOutsider: The Unexpected Visitor

28th June 2015:
Hi Yumna! I saw that you didn't get any reviews during the last HC round and didn't want you to miss out!

First things first - I love the premise of this story. Dudley having a magical child is one of my dearest headcanons and I'm so excited for the rest of this story. Your characterisation of Dudley here is fantastic - how you've identified the things that forced him to grow up and become a better man, and how he slowly but surely overcame his upbringing. And the story of him meeting Preeya and standing up to his family is just perfect - it must have been a real turning point for him to realise, fully, the intolerance of his parents and the issues with his upbringing. I never thought I'd end up admiring Dudley Dursley, but you've given his character a real sense of determination and courage.

He's still far from perfect, of course, with the obvious issues he has with Nora's magic, but you've made it clear he's acting out of concern for his daughter - his experience with magic was overwhelmingly negative, after all, and he doesn't want Nora to get involved in the magical world as he knew it. I really hope he comes around, though, and I'm looking forward to meeting Nora in future chapters.

fantastic start!

Author's Response: First off, it means so much to me that you took the time to review even after the event is over! Thank you so much!
I'm so glad you liked Dudley's development as a character. And you're right, he's still far from perfect. You will certainly meet Nora in the next chapter.
Again, thank you so, so much for the review. I really appreciate it! :)


 Report Review

Review #24, by ad astraDon't Forget Me: My Hero

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

TAMMI.

TAMMI WHAT IS THIS WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WHAT HAPPENED WHYYY

i demand explanations i cannot believe this i thought everyone was exaggerating but no you killed Rose. my precious Rosie and you made James kill her omg why

you should write a 50k novel about this and i will review every single chapter with just "why Tammi why" you know you want to

Don’t forget about me James.

You’re the only one who promised that you wouldn’t.
you took my already shattered heart and stomped on it with this line. Rose is dead and James has blood on his hands and Albus is in Azkaban for it just. waiting on his brother. trusting him. relying on him to save him and get him out. because his entire family has abandoned him and he's innocent but he just wanted to save his brother and oh no

i'm upset. it's 3.17am and i am very very upset

 Report Review

Review #25, by ad astraCold Blood: Broken Pieces

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

sweet salazar whoever this killer is they sure have a thing for harry. i mean like there are definitely better ways to get your crush's attention than systematically murdering all his enemies #voldemortinlove

“Oh, that’s right,” you murmured into his ear. “You need to use the loo.” not gonna lie, i was fully expecting an actual toilet to drop from the ceiling and kill him. that'd be a fitting way for mundungus fletcher to die, don't you think? that was terrible i'm sorry

your killer is a torturer too. warm breath, pearly teeth, clearly an altruist. you've made them almost likeable, except for the penchant for grievous bodily harm

She nodded in response, her face lighting up with a warm smile. She loved it when Ron surprised her with his affectionate gestures, especially when she really needed a distraction from her work. love a bit of romione in the midst of all the murder. cutie patooties

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>