Reading Reviews From Member: MrsJaydeMalfoy
  
696 Reviews Found

Review #26, by MrsJaydeMalfoyThe Ultimate Betrayal: The Ultimate Decision

19th April 2016:
YAY, first review!! ♥

You already know a lot about what I think about this chapter, but I'm going to leave a review anyway because YES.

First off, I can't remember if I said this in the review of the first chapter or not, but I'm really happy that you chose to take Percy's story and make a spin-off about it - it definitely provides some insight into WHY he is the way he is in LNW. And I think you've shown a really logical progression in him so far - you're definitely making it easy to see how he wound up that way in your story!

I LOVE the playing around you did with Percy and Wormtail - Peter knows who he is, but Percy can't seem to place him - it's hilarious. I can't help but wonder what will happen if and when Percy does find out and/or realize!

Percy's characterization is, again, spot-on! You have this amazing way of getting in to your character's heads, and we can see that even more clearly here - his thirst for recognition, his uncertainty, his shame of being on the wrong side, and, although he doesn't like to admit it, his hesitance for betraying his family.

And speaking of characterization... Voldemort. I mean, he's just perfect. Again, you really get into his head and show us that, while he's evil, he's also very manipulative, and that's how he's managed to get so many followers, get so much information - he definitely takes on many more characteristics in your stories that make him a much more round character, and it's amazing. And you've just got the perfect combination of manipulation and evil here!!

I'm really interested to see what happens next, and how/if Percy manages to get this information! Let me know when you've got it ready to go! :D

Great job!! ♥ *squish*

 Report Review

Review #27, by MrsJaydeMalfoyThe Ultimate Betrayal: The Ultimate Encounter

31st March 2016:
I got beaten to the first review! :( Oh well, I'll get it next time! :D

This is SO GOOD!!! Your description is absolutely incredible, I could picture everything here as it was happening SO clearly in my mind!

And I think you did a FANTASTIC job of getting into Percy's head. We really only see him once he's turned in LNW, so this is definitely a wonderful opportunity to explore WHY that happened, and I think you did a great job with it! I LOVE that you included his love of order and rules, and recognition - that is SO TRUE of Percy and so very in-character! You've shown us the natural progression of how Percy from the books could have turned into Percy from LNW!

I also think you did a great job of portraying just how convincing Voldemort can be - he's basically using logic to convince people who have different beliefs that his way is the best - and he's doing an excellent job at it. If even Percy can be persuaded to join his side, that's really saying something!

I know you weren't planning on this being any longer, but I'm super-thrilled that this is going to be a short story! I can't wait to see what happens next!!

Really, really well done, lovely! ♥

 Report Review

Review #28, by MrsJaydeMalfoyFaith, Trust, and Crystal Balls: Step One

18th March 2016:
MADI! *Squishes*

I'm here with your (slightly delayed) reward review for winning a round of Pass the Parcel! Congratulations, and thank you so much for helping us celebrate HPFF's 15th Birthday! (And I know I owe you a PM response, but I wanted to get this taken care of first - I'll go respond to your PM right after this, I promise!)

I've told you I've been meaning to read this anyway, so now's the perfect opportunity! I'll be reviewing as I go, so if I seem to change topic or anything suddenly, that's why! :D

So first off, I'm really excited to read this because I've heard you talking about it so much, but also because there are like NO stories out there about Sybill, at least not that I've seen - this is SO original and I'm really excited to see where you take this!

And eeek, right from the beginning you've got me sympathizing with her and feeling bad for her. Why would everyone just turn her down for no good reason? I mean, I know that looking for a job can be like that sometimes, but it still seems really unfair, you know? And :O They turned her down just because she's a seer?!? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! I mean, I understand that it's not a very well-respected ability in the wizard world (which in itself is really messed up), but just because she sees things once in a while doesn't make her any less qualified for the job! *grumbles at interview people*

Awww, that's so sad! I think it's awful that Sybill's family thinks that she won't succeed as a Seer, when that's what she wants to do more than anything! But, I really LOVE her determination to prove them wrong, and I love the fact that she's packing her bags in preparation for her big departure, trusting that it's going to happen. You've made her very likeable here!!

YAY! I'm so excited that she's found something!! I can't wait to see what's waiting for her there! And Just WOW - your description of Nottingham and the way the muggles and wizards just mingle together flawlessly is incredible! That sounds SO amazing and you really captured Sybill's sense of wonder at it, and all her excitement about discovering the new place! And you've really just presented her as fearless - moving to a new city, learning all about it on her own, working to get on her feet, buying the shop.. you've really got ME feeling like I'VE just walked around and discovered a new city, and that's incredible!

And the people she bought the store from were SO nice to leave the souvenirs for her! And again, I'm noticing your excellent description - you made it very easy for me to picture Sybill's painting and redecoration of the outside of the store! And I laughed out loud when she forgot she could use magic. :P I can imagine that would happen to witches and wizards sometimes. I loved the image of seeing the items shrinking and flying around the shop into their boxes!

Awww! Poor Sybill! It really broke my heart to see her so lonely! But, at the same time, that part really gave us the opportunity to see how close she and Em are growing, and I think (and hope) that Em's going to turn out to be a GREAT friend for her! I like her already! And who knows? Maybe the "help wanted" sign WILL bring a nice young man Sybill's way! :P

I loved the description of Sybill's flat, also! I'm so excited for her to finish up with the renovations and open the shop, as well as hopefully find some time to work on her seer abilities, and possibly find a little romance!

This is SUCH an excellent first chapter, dear, you've already got me hooked on another story of yours! You are such an incredibly talented author! I'll be stopping by to give Chapter 2 some love very soon! This is going in my favorites right now!

Well done, and again, congratulations on winning a round of Pass the Parcel!

 Report Review

Review #29, by MrsJaydeMalfoyKeeping Vigil: Keeping Vigil

17th March 2016:
Hi there dear! I'm here with your prize for winning a round of Pass the Parcel! First off, let me just say 'Congratulations' - and thank you SO much for helping us celebrate HPFF's birthday! And now, on to your review! :P I'm reviewing as I read, so if this seems to change topics kind of suddenly, that's why.

Okay, so I was NOT prepared for the way you just grabbed me by the feels right here at the beginning! Honestly, when I read the story summary I was thinking this was going to be about their (alive) lives in Godric's Hollow after first moving in - like a metaphorical heaven... but the fact that you're literally referring to heaven here, and it feels like hell to Lily because she doesn't have Harry with her, is just SO powerful! GAH! And it's so original, too! I have NEVER read a story like this that talks about Lily and James' time in heaven after dying!

Also, the fact that they can look down on Harry from the pool, and the fact that Lily chooses not to because it would hurt more... the idea is amazing, and then your characterization of Lily here is as well!

Awww!!! The part with Sirius was so sad!! Poor James!! You did such a great job with the emotion there, showing his grief, and, even though Lily was hurting and afraid to look for herself, the fact that she was still willing to go hold James and be there for him at that rough time is incredible.

*Gasps* They're arguing, in heaven?! GAH! You are just completely blowing my mind with this piece! First off, I'm not going to lie, I kind of felt like James was grieving more over Sirius than Harry, too. But, reading his explanation at the end really made a lot of sense, and I'm glad they got that all out and cleared the air between them, so that hopefully they can try to move on.

But, and I'm not sure I'm going to be able to explain this as well as I want to, but here goes: Many of us already know how hard it is to lose someone we love when they die. But here, in such few words, you've captured perfectly the idea that the dead can grieve for the living - for them not being at their side, for things not going well for them.. and it's just... revolutionary and original and amazing and... Gah!! I could just go on and on about this!

Obviously, there's the sense of 'everything's wrong' here, and you feel really heartbroken for these two. But, at the same time, we know that everything worked out for the best in the end, plus they're in heaven so they're not suffering (physically) anymore, so, although there definitely is a tone of sadness to this, it's kind of hard not to feel a little hope, also.

This has got me thinking about what Lily and James would think if they were looking down throughout the various moments in Harry's life.. it makes me want to read about that.. soo... sequel maybe? Please? :D

Anyway, this is a wonderfully written piece, dear - it flows really well and I didn't see any spelling or grammar issues- it's SO amazing and original, it's going in my favorites right now! I'm so glad I read this! Well done, and congratulations again on Winning Pass the Parcel!

Author's Response: Hi Jayde!

Oh, it never occurred to me that the summary could read as though it was about their time in Godric's Hollow! (I actually have read one story about that - Withering by Unwritten Curse, it's really good!)

Honestly, this piece was inspired by the idea of James witnessing Sirius' arrest and knowing that he was actually innocent. So I wouldn't be surprised if I was maybe a bit heavy-handed with that and/or didn't focus on his feelings about Harry enough. However, I personally think my explanation of James' feelings makes sense, and it seems like you do too :P

I don't know about "revolutionary", but I'm excited to know that you thought this was an original idea :)

A bunch of people have asked for a sequel to this, but I'm not currently planning one - sorry! D:

I'm glad you enjoyed reading this, and thank you very much for the lovely review - and for running such a fun game!

-Kayla


 Report Review

Review #30, by MrsJaydeMalfoyso let us create: if your dreams are far too real

17th March 2016:
Hi there dear! I'm here with your prize for winning a round of Pass the Parcel! First off, let me just say 'Congratulations' - and thank you SO much for helping us celebrate HPFF's birthday! And now, on to your review! :P I'm reviewing as I read, so if this seems to change topics kind of suddenly, that's why.

Okay, so first off, I think the article was a GREAT!! way to start this! You've already given us SO much background information about the relationship between Albus and Scorpius and Powell, as well as all their success, their Hogwarts houses... there's SO much backstory packed into that article, and it's also extremely well-written! It's the perfect introduction!

And Aww! Poor Scorpius! :( I think you told us a lot about his characterization in this bit about him, and you've definitely made it easy to sympathize with him. But, I've got to admit that now I'm SUPER curious as to if Al will ever find out about his feelings... must.. read.. more! :P

And again, there's another article with a LOT of great backstory incorporated in it! I love how they came up with the band name, and your descriptions of the band members reactions and their clothes really helped me to picture the interview in my mind! I really do think that incorporating so much information in these interviews is just amazing, a perfect way to provide more information, especially considering their profession! :P

Oh wow. I loved reading about Scorpius' thoughts about being placed into Hufflepuff, and Seeing how Scorpius came to fall for Al just makes me feel even worse for him, the poor thing! I really, really hope something will work out between those two!

Awww! Now I'm even MORE sad for Scorpius! :( I can't imagine how hard it's got to be for him watching Al go out all the time, and you did an excellent job of conveying his frustration and pain. And it really says a lot that, even though he told himself he wouldn't go write a song about it, he did anyway.

I think Scorpius would do well to take Felicity's advice - but I also know that's a lot easier said than done! Still though, a part of me wonders if he DID start seeing someone, would that perhaps make AL jealous enough to realize there are some feelings there? Okay so maybe I'm just wishful thinking. :P

Wait, WHAT?! Alex is a GUY?!? OMG! I think I've probably got as many questions going through my mind as Scorpius does right now - does that mean he has a chance? Will it work out? Has Al secretly been harboring feelings for him all this time! I need answers!! *Scrolls*

*Gasps* He found the song!! Oooh!! ... YAYYY! OMG!!! ♥ *flails* Oh, I'm so happy things worked out for the two of them!! That ending is just beyond perfect!! Annnd now I'm going to need a sequel where they live happily ever after, please! :D :P

This is an amazing, wonderfully-written piece, dear! I love it!! Really, really Well done, and congratulations again on Winning Pass the Parcel!

 Report Review

Review #31, by MrsJaydeMalfoyChoices.: Choices are the hardest things to make.

14th March 2016:
Hi there dear! I'm here with your prize for winning a round of Pass the Parcel! First off, let me just say 'Congratulations' - and thank you SO much for helping us celebrate HPFF's birthday! And now, on to your review! :P I'm reviewing as I read, so if this seems to change topics kind of suddenly, that's why.

So, the first thing that really caught my attention was your characterization of Draco. You've really gotten into his thoughts here, and use that to show us what kind of person he is, and I think it's brilliant. I love how you've put us in his mind right as he's about to make a difficult decision, and I also love how you're giving us a bit of background through his eyes, as though he were explaining the situation to us.

I think this would obviously be a VERY difficult decision for Draco to make in this situation, but I have to admit that a part of me also thought "Do you even have to ask yourself that question?" Obviously he loves Hermione very much, and he doesn't approve of or agree with the Death Eaters' beliefs, so I'm personally a little confused as to why he would even consider it - but at the same time we know how much of an influence Lucius had on Draco's life, so it's also pretty understandable. You did an EXCELLENT job of showing the internal struggle he's got going on here!

Oh my goodness! Reading about Lucius' threat makes me definitely understand more why Draco would consider this! He was very close to his mother and it'd be SO hard to never see or hear from her again!

But then Awww! Reading how much he loves Hermione is just so fluffy! It sounds like those two are perfect for each other! And *gasps* He's going to go ask her!! *Squees* Oh my goodness, I need a sequel to this that shows the big moment, please!!! ♥

I really hope that, somehow, Draco's able to keep his family safe and still have Hermione. There HAS to be a way!

This is a very well-written one-shot, dear! There are only a few words here, but they are SO powerful and full of emotion! It's incredible!

Well done, and congratulations again on Winning Pass the Parcel!

Author's Response: OMG THANK YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH!

In re to the sequel, I may be writing it in April manually while Im on a camp without my laptop and the rest of my already started work.
Im not going to give away any of my plans for it though. You'll have to wait and see. :P

I have no way of describing how much this review is making me smile, laugh, grin and shout in glee.

Thank you so so much!

Caity
x


 Report Review

Review #32, by MrsJaydeMalfoyThe First Christmas After The War: Chapter 1

14th March 2016:
Hi there dear! I'm here with your prize for winning a round of Pass the Parcel! First off, let me just say 'Congratulations' - and thank you SO much for helping us celebrate HPFF's birthday! And now, on to your review! :P I'm reviewing as I read, so if this seems to change topics kind of suddenly, that's why.

So, the first thing I notice here is your description - it's amazing!! In the first few paragraphs your words allowed me to clearly picture the scene in my head - I loved your description of the snow and the holiday season, as well as peoples' reactions to both.

I was definitely not prepared for the feels at reading the line "the first Christmas without Fred". :( I love Christmas and snow, so I usually associate those things with positive, happy feelings, and then coming into the reality of what this Christmas means for the family was just heartbreaking. And then, seeing Ginny look to Harry for answers about what grief feels like was just... gah! The poor Weasleys!

But Awww! I love the fact that little Teddy was able to brighten things up for everyone, even if only a little! I think having a baby around tends to do that most of the time, so that was very realistic and I'm sure it was a very welcome temporary relief for the whole family!

And again, your description! I could easily picture Hermione sitting in Ron's lap, the exchange between Molly and Ron and Harry... you made it SO easy to see the change in mood here, and that's amazing! You're very gifted with writing descriptions and emotions!

And your last paragraph is SO powerful, really, and I completely agree with it. Bad things happen, we lose people, but the important thing is to remember to keep fighting and know what you're fighting for. That's just so deep and thought-provoking!

I was sure when I read about it being the first Christmas without Fred that I was going to cry by the end of this. I was pleasantly surprised - it's given me a sense of peace and hope for the Weasleys. It's amazing!

This was a very VERY well-written piece, the description is amazing, and it flowed wonderfully. And this is going in my favorites right now.

Well done, and congratulations again on Winning Pass the Parcel!

 Report Review

Review #33, by MrsJaydeMalfoyOne Last Victory: Doubt

14th March 2016:
Hi there dear! I'm here with your prize for winning a round of Pass the Parcel! First off, let me just say 'Congratulations' - and thank you SO much for helping us celebrate HPFF's birthday! And now, on to your review! :P I'm reviewing as I read, so if this seems to change topics kind of suddenly, that's why.

I was immediately intrigued by the story summary and chapter summary, and I was SO curious to find out who I'd be reading about - and then when I saw it was Minerva I was pleasantly surprised! I haven't started reading yet but I'm definitely excited to see where this is going!

Okay, I'm not going to lie. I thought this was going to be about the battle of Hogwarts, and I was just SO ready to see Minerva's iron will against all the death eaters. And then I knew it was a little different when she mentioned seeing the gates differently - and then I read 'her cane' and I was just like AWW Minerva! :(

Waiting for her to die?! That's awful!! And I mean I love Neville and Hannah, but hearing their conversation from Minerva's point of view just makes me feel so angry with them! But, deep down I know that they're only saying what they think is best for her. So let me keep reading before I make any judgements. :P

okay, now I'm at the conversation with Albus and I just don't think I'm emotionally prepared for this. Albus, who's already gone, talking to Minerva about dying, when she seems to almost be gone, it's breaking my heart :(

Awww! She just wants to keep everyone safe! That is SO like Minerva and you've characterized her really well here!

And leave it to Albus to tell Minerva like it is, even though she doesn't want to hear it. :P He's definitely right though, and it broke my heart to hear how she thought she had failed during the battle - it wasn't her fault, but leave it to her to take on so much guilt and responsibility.

*Gasps* Her husband?! :O And now he's there? Aw!! A part of me feels like "Noo don't let her go" and another part of me feels like "She needs to rest, to be at peace" . :( But the fact that it took him saying "They're safe" for her to agree really says a lot.

This is a very well-written and emotional piece, lovely, it really pulled at my heartstrings! It flowed very well and I didn't notice any spelling or grammar errors, either. Well done! I definitely enjoyed it! And congratulations again on winning pass the parcel!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review!

McGonagall is always a favorite to write. She's always so strict yet cares deeply about what she does. She cares deeply about her students and I think that is an admirable trait.

So when I saw the challenge, I immediately looked up old Renaissance masters. I came upon a few of Queen Elizabeth I. That's when the plunny hit. I immediately could picture Minerva in a similar situation: Both grew old in positions of power and tried to keep on going even if the people that they trusted worked against them to get someone else in their seats when they die.

So I wrote that. It made Minerva seem overtly cynical and cranky. I suppose that's what I was going for, but I wanted her to feel something. Something more of what Minerva would feel and not when Elizabeth would feel as much: regret.

And that's how it came into being. I was curious on what the mystery prize was for the pass the parcel. Now that I've found out, thank you for hosting a delightful game and may HPFF see the next 15 years!

Happy Writing!
Professor McGonagall


 Report Review

Review #34, by MrsJaydeMalfoyPut a Ring on It!: Christmas Bells were Rung

13th March 2016:
Hi there dear! I'm here with your prize for winning a round of Pass the Parcel! First off, let me just say 'Congratulations' - and thank you SO much for helping us celebrate HPFF's birthday! And now, on to your review! This seemed like a fun story to read and I'm in need of some humor in my life today :P I'm reviewing as I read, so if this seems to change topics kind of suddenly, that's why.

Okay, so the first thing on my mind is what in the WORLD is wrong with Sirius? I mean, I have a general idea, but I'm really curious to find out what's wrong specifically - great job with building curiosity here in the beginning!

And I think your characterization of Sirius is spot-on; the fact that the girls knew something was wrong because he wasn't being cocky or flirting definitely does a great job of showing that. I'm not really sure what he's going through, but it's got to be really embarrasing if he doesn't even want his friends around.

It's a good thing Remus found Sirius' trunk! And can I just say that Peter talking about a rat made me chuckle? :P But o.O He's bleeding? what in the world is wrong with him!?!

*Gasps* OH NO. I don't know whether to stare at the page in shock, throw up, or roll on the floor laughing. OMG. Just... NO!! LOL! I actually really like, and agree with, James' exclamation there! :P

This was certainly a very original and shocking piece - you got me!

Your description was great, and everything flowed very well, and I didn't notice any spelling or grammar errors either - well done! And congratulations again on winning Pass the Parcel!

Author's Response: Heya! What's this? My winnings from Pass the Parcel - what an unexpected surprise! And don't worry about reviewing as you read. I appreciate reading your raw (pun intended) reaction.

So yes, Sirius. He certainly has gotten himself in deep this time. When I started writing this tale, I knew the challenge would be twofold: how much to reveal without crossing the ToS line, and the bantering between the boys. Sirius certainly had a lot more to say regarding the Muggle girl; it was a struggle to rein him in to just describing the general movement of that tassel.

As another reader asked, can you imagine how Madam Pomfrey might react if Sirius ended up in the Hospital Wing with an infection there? I’m almost tempted to write a sequel...but perhaps it's best if I don't. Some things are better left to the imagination.

Thanks for stopping by and leaving a lovely review!

~Alexis


 Report Review

Review #35, by MrsJaydeMalfoyFirewhiskey and Dragonbreath Shots: Firewhiskey and Dragonbreath Shots

13th March 2016:
Hi there dear! I'm here with your prize for winning a round of Pass the Parcel! First off, let me just say 'Congratulations' - and thank you SO much for helping us celebrate HPFF's birthday! And now, on to your review! I'm reviewing as I read, so if this seems to change topics kind of suddenly, that's why.

Okay, so first off, this story is addictive and it flows very well! I meant to read the first few paragraphs and then comment, and I made it halfway through before I even realized what was happening!

I was really curious as to why Lily was having such a rough day, but then when she mentioned Petunia it all started to come together. And Sirius was actually really nice to her there! I think needing to pay his own way after moving in with the Potters is a great explanation for why Sirius would be working there, so kudos on that! But eeek, it sounds like she's got some jealousy issues when it comes to James - I hope things are sorted out by the end! Honestly, I thought at the beginning this was going to be a Sirius/Lily story, but now I'm wondering if it's somehow going to become Lily/James! *Keeps reading*

Oooh, she's ogling James! Must.. read.. more! Okay, first of all, it kind of breaks my heart for Lily that James says he's over her. But, I imagine it must have gotten pretty frustrating for him trying to convince her all that time! And LOL! The 'James Henry Potter' line was HILARIOUS!

Awww, Lily protecting him is so sweet! And *gasps* GO LILY! haha! :P

Aw!!! OMG that line was so sweet!! (The 'I'm over you until I see you smile again' bit, in case you were wondering). Just aw!! ♥ And oh wow, those two certainly DID get caught up in the heat of the moment, didn't they?!

And oh no!!! Nooo Lily don't do that! Why would you go and tell James something like that!?!? GO to Hogsmeade with him already!! *Facepalm* Poor James, she's just broken his heart all over again! :( I mean, I understand where she's coming from, but still.

Anyway, this was a really, really addictive and well-written story, dear! Your description was amazing and it flowed wonderfully! I'm going to cross my fingers and hope for a sequel!! *Crosses fingers*

Great job, and again, congratulations on winning pass the parcel!

 Report Review

Review #36, by MrsJaydeMalfoyWilted Salad: Wilted Salad

6th March 2016:
Hello there! I'm here for the HPFF review-a-thon!

I've been meaning to stop by and review this ever since I read it for the Writer's Duel, and now, when it can help HPFF's fundraiser, seemed as good a time as any!

First off, I have to start out by saying that I normally really, really don't like Petunia, and it's not very often that you read many fics about her or from her point of view - so I think it's very original and amazing that you chose her as your main character.

And, as hard as it is for me to say this, you've actually made her very easy to relate to, and somewhat like-able here. It's just really easy to sympathize with her - she just wants to be included, she just wants to be special like Lily, and to think that she kept practically begging Dumbledore to give her another chance at showing her magic is just heartbreaking.

This almost makes me wish Petunia HAD been accepted to Hogwarts, and it really makes me want to read a story where she IS accepted... a follow-up to this, maybe?

I think your description here was absolutely incredible, and the emotions as well - you really connected with Petunia and helped us to get inside her head and understand a little about why she could have been SO bitter towards Lily and the entire wizarding world.

I really enjoyed reading this, I'm so glad this piece exists! Thank you SO much for participating in the Writer's duel! Well done!

 Report Review

Review #37, by MrsJaydeMalfoyExcerpt from the Deposition of Dolores Jane Umbridge: Dolores: Age Fifteen

6th March 2016:
Hello there! I'm here for the HPFF review-a-thon!

I've been meaning to stop by and review this ever since the Writer's Duel, and now, when it can help HPFF's fundraiser, seemed as good a time as any!

The first thing I remember about this story is just being completely creeped out (and I mean that in the best possible way!) Umbridge is probably my LEAST favorite character in the series, including Voldemort, and I don't think she's very often written about. So the fact that you were able to write about her and keep her in-character enough that I think I dislike her even MORE after reading this, is AMAZING.

I've often wondered what happened that made Dolores so.. terrible, and here, you've gone back and shown things that show that's she's even WORSE than we'd imagined. I just LOVE how in-character you've kept her here!

I'm really curious as to WHY she and her father would just so suddenly turn against her mother and brother, though! Honestly, I'm kind of hoping for another piece related to this one.. *Crosses fingers* :P

Anyway, this was brilliantly written, and I thoroughly enjoyed being creeped out by this! You did a fantastic job of really making me FEEL the emotions here! Thank you SO much for submitting this to the Writer's Duel!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for this review. It's canon that her father worked for the ministry in maintenance, and that he was married to a Muggle and they got divorced around when Dolores was fifteen. I don't address the reasons here, but I have another story that I've been working on for a while that would show exactly why.

Thanks for being creeped out. That's how Dolores should make you feel. She's and unrelenting psychopath. Thanks also for saying that I kept her IC. That's super-important to me.

Thanks for the review. I appreciate this and all reviews.


 Report Review

Review #38, by MrsJaydeMalfoyElastic Heart: Elastic Heart

6th March 2016:
Hello there dear! I'm here for the HPFF review-a-thon!

I've been meaning to stop by and review this since I read it for the Writer's Duel, and I figured now, when it can help HPFF's fundraiser, was as good a time as any!

I really enjoyed this snapshot into young Narcissa's mind! I definitely got the feeling here that's she's kind of torn between the two extremes - she's not as 'gung-ho' over Voldemort as Bellatrix is, but she doesn't approve of Andromeda's choice of boyfriend, either. I think sisters tend to be that way - one of them a mix of the other two, so that was a very realistic portrayal and I really liked it!

I think that most people tend to lump Narcissa in with the 'bad' crowd, if that makes any sense, so it's really nice here to see you giving her a different set of thoughts and beliefs, and really exploring her character. The ability to get into her mindset so well just shows how truly talented you are!

All in all, this was a wonderful one-shot, dear, thank you so much for writing it and participating the Writer's Duel! Well done!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed it

 Report Review

Review #39, by MrsJaydeMalfoyBirthday Cupcakes: Birthday Cupcakes

6th March 2016:
Hello doll! I'm here for the HPFF review-a-thon!

I've been meaning to stop by and review this ever since reading it for the Writer's Duel, and I figured doing so when it can benefit the fundraiser was the perfect opportunity.

I've already told you this in a PM, but let me just say this again - I ADORE THIS TO PIECES. Seriously, you made me CRY with this, it's so sweet and sad!

I LOVE the idea of Lily always wanting to make cupcakes, but never getting the chance until she got to Hogwarts. And the idea of her and James bonding over that and letting it be their 'little secret' is so sweet and fluffy I just want to squish it! I'm not sure if you can squish an idea, but whatever. :P

And then, you had to go and break my heart, while also making me actually LIKE Petunia in the last chapter. I mean, it takes a lot to make Petunia of all people seem good, but you've done it and it's amazing! It just goes to show how fabulous of a writer you are!

You did an excellent job with the emotions here (obviously, since you had me and the other staff and even your MOM crying!), and it's SO well-written. Great job with this, and CONGRATULATIONS on winning the duel!! Thank you so much for participating in it, I'm SO glad this story exists and it's going in my favorites right now!

 Report Review

Review #40, by MrsJaydeMalfoywhen we were young: you sound like a song

6th March 2016:
Hi there! I'm here for the HPFF review-a-thon!

I've been meaning to stop by and review this ever since I read it for the Writer's Duel, and what better opportunity than now, when it can help HPFF out, right?

The first thing I remember about this is just the bittersweet feelings of love and loss between Rose and Scorpius. It's obvious that, at one point, those two loved each other VERY much, and in a way it kind of felt like they still do. I'm not going to lie, when Rose's HUSBAND stopped by I was just completely FLOORED. I think the fact that she even had to tell him "you have nothing to worry about" in the first place, kind of indicates that there definitely IS still something there!

I love the fact that you've made Scorpius an artist in this, and that he can "still remember the exact colors to mix to create Rose's hair color". That's just SO sweet... are you an artist as well?

I kind of hoped those two would somehow wind up back together by the end of this, but you did a great job of conveying this emotion that it's kind of "too late", if that makes any sense.

Anyway, your description in this, as well as the emotions you conveyed, was absolutely breathtaking! Really, REALLY well-written, dear! Thank you SO much for writing this, and for participating in the Writer's Duel!

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much for the review! I'm so happy you liked this. I loved participating in the Writer's Duel.

There is definitely a feeling of loss here. Rose and Scorpius had something real I think, but they were young and it didn't last. Yeah, telling her husband that he has nothing to worry about does seem a little suspicious! Haha, I kind of wanted to capture that a little bit. Nothing happened between Rose and Scorpius here, but there's some lingering feeling.

I love Scorpius as an artist. This story is in the same universe as my other artist!Scorpius story, "Rose Tinted Glass" which shows them in the aforementioned coastal region.

I'm not personally an artist, but I am an art historian. I just love writing about artists. Rose is a painter in my one shot 'Colors.'

I'm so glad that you liked this story! Thank you again for the lovely review!

Stefanie


 Report Review

Review #41, by MrsJaydeMalfoyBlind: Blind

21st February 2016:
Hello again! Reward review 2 of 2! And I must say, after everything of yours that I've read, especially that fantastic Blaise/OC I just finished, I am SO excited and I have high expectations for this!

And once again, your introduction did not disappoint. So many questions, so much information, just in the first few lines. I've got a feeling that this one's going to turn out to be different than I think it will though, for some reason.

I'm not sure which character is speaking right this moment, but I can feel their remorse and just how much they love this person they're talking about... but for some reason I just get the feeling it's going to be too late..

Now that I'm reading 'after he picked me up during a fight with Scorpius', I'm thinking this person's talking about Teddy, since he was on the characters list, and from this person's description of him, he sounds like such a great friend and great person... but there's really just a bittersweet tone to this, I'm definitely curious about what's going to happen.

And I find it very realistic that this person doesn't really know the moment when they fell in love with him. Emotions are never straightforward in real life and you do a great job of conveying that here!

Wow.. that moment with Scorpius was intense. I wonder what happened, if it's got anything to do with Teddy or not. *Keeps reading eagerly*

My heart started pounding pretty crazily when he was walking down the aisle, but the fact that it was HIM walking down the aisle only confirms my earlier suspicions... it's too late. :(

OH wow.. It's ROSE?! I don't know why, but I'd convinced myself it was Dom for some reason... I guess I should have known when it was Scorpius they were dating, but still, I'm shocked! I'm almost certain I've never read a fic about Rose loving Teddy before... this is unique and original and amazing... and also very sad! :(

I'm not really sure HOW to feel here.. I want to be happy for Teddy and Vic, but how can I be when Rose is so heartbroken? I've never even considered shipping these two before, but now I find myself really wishing things had turned out differently, that he knew how she felt and could somehow go back in time and change things.

And, I can only assume that Rose hurt Scorpius by leaving him because she realized she was in love with Teddy.. I mean I understand his pain, but it's not her fault! Feelings are confusing sometimes! :( I feel so sorry for Rose! Again, you did a fantastic job with emotions here!

This is another wonderfully well-written piece, I really just love your writing - you are SO talented! I'm so glad I've gotten the chance to read some of your work now!! Well done, dear! And Congratulations again on winning 'Guess the Present'!

 Report Review

Review #42, by MrsJaydeMalfoyFrom Afar: From Afar

21st February 2016:
Hello again, doll!

I'm sorry this is a little delayed, but I am here once again with two more reward reviews for you from the 'Guess the Present' thread! (My goodness you've got a good eye!) :D And again, I just want to say Congratulations, and thank you for helping us celebrate HPFF's 15th Birthday!

I had actually thought about reviewing this the last time I was on your author's page, so I'm happy to be back now to get to read it! And I'm certainly looking forward to what I KNOW will be another amazing piece from you!

Once again, I am already struck by how captivating your introductions are! You've already pulled me in to another story, and you've started with so much suspense, while also providing us with loads of details about the setting and time frame in the series, in just a few words. I already have SO many questions! But I'll just have to keep reading to find out the answers, won't I?! :P

Oooh, who is this mystery Ravenclaw?! And why is she in the hospital wing writing so much? *Raises eyebrow* I really like that brief glance between the two of them - it makes me feel pretty confident that he's coming back to the hospital wing soon!

Aaah okay, so she's studying to become a Healer, maybe? That's really interesting! Honestly, I don't think I've ever read a fic where a student who was planning on becoming a healer was training/studying with Pomfrey, but it makes a lot of sense!

And WOW. I don't know HOW you've done it, but you've actually made me feel sympathy for Blaise. I mean, I think it's hard to relate to the Slytherins in the series sometimes, not because they're all horrible people or something, but just because so many of them fight against Harry in the war against Voldemort. But, seeing Blaise's thoughts here - how he's being pressured into joining the Death Eaters, how he's afraid - it really helps to remind me that these characters were just KIDS at the time this was going on - they had NO CLUE what they were doing or what they were getting into, and most of them didn't even have a choice as they were raised to think that way by their parents. Just that one little bit has caused me to rethink my feelings about LOTS of characters, not just Blaise, and that just goes to show how amazingly talented an author you are!

I LOVE the part where Blaise says that she makes him forget everything, that she's got a 'glow' - that's really a great job of showing us his feelings there and I really hope those two wind up together! And YAY, now we have a name! Hello Rachel! (Honestly, for some reason my mind was thinking 'could this be Luna?') :P And I laughed when he complained about Draco's whining!

Haha, it's funny how that works - you don't notice someone for a long time, even though they've been around for years, and then all of a sudden once you notice them for the first time, you can't stop seeing them! That's very accurate! :P And awww, I love seeing them studying together! I even feel relief FOR Blaise, since he finally has an escape from Death Eater and Voldemort talk. Once again, it just goes to show how talented you are! You are a genius with conveying emotions, dear!

Okay, so when I first started reading the '6th year' paragraph, I was terrified that something awful was going to happen to one of them during the war - I'm SO glad it didn't! But it was SO sad the way they were smiling at each other sadly from the opposing sides! :( But, I do really like the fact that, even though he was raised NOT to like people like her, he does and he can't deny it.

YAY for Blaise going back to school, despite what his mother thought he should do! And awww!! For a minute I thought she was mad and she wasn't going to speak to him, but I'm really happy that Blaise blurted out what he did! :P And yes, thank goodness for the weight being lifted off his shoulders! Oooh I really hope these two wind up together!

Poor Blaise!! What happened?!? Why in the world would his mother's husband hurt him, and what is wrong with his mother that she would allow that to happen to her son?!? Ooh I hope he's going to be okay! And strangely enough, I really feel a sense of pride in knowing how amazing a healer Rachel's become, too. You've made it SO easy to become invested in these characters!

Awww!! YAY YAY YAYYY!!! ♥ Finally, a kiss!!! *Squees* I LOVE THIS STORY! THIS IS GOING IN MY FAVORITES RIGHT NOW! I just LOVE how these two have really "had something" for SO many years - neither of them made a move, but they always sort of 'knew' - it's like they've been meant to be together for so long, and now they finally are! EEEk!! Oh, I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to see a continuation of this, maybe a wedding, perhaps?? *whistles* I mean, you've got me not only shipping Blachel, but you've also really made me grow to like Blaise in this, and THAT is saying something. I honestly think you've just replaced my headcanon of Blaise with this version. No really.

I am so, SO glad I read this! It's so wonderfully well-written, like all of your other work! I just love it to pieces! Well done!! And congratulations again! *Runs off squeeing about this story*

 Report Review

Review #43, by MrsJaydeMalfoyBonded For Life : Bonded For Life

21st February 2016:
Hi there! Jayde here, with the 2nd of your reward reviews for correctly guessing one of the presents in the "Guess the Present" thread! Congratulations, and thank you SO much for helping us celebrate HPFF's 15th Birthday!

I was going to read the Draco/Hermione one-shot I saw a little higher up on your author's page, but I noticed that that's the one-shot Dee had left your other reward review on, so I thought I'd go with this, instead. Plus, I'm really in the mood for some fluff, and this looked particularly fluffy! :D

I'll be reviewing as I read, so if I seem to jump from one topic to another kind of quickly, that's why!

Okay, so the first thing I'm just struck by as soon as I glance at the page is just awe of you for being able to complete the A-Z challenge! I seriously don't think I could pull that off, so HUGE props to you there!

You've got a VERY powerful introduction here. Just in the first paragraph you've already let us know we're at a wedding, and you've clued us in on SO many emotions!

And then, the "Hurry" line. GAH, I don't know what it is, but that got me right in the feels... he's so desperate for her to be his! It's so moving and fluffy and sweet! And aw, he's going to cry because she told him she loves him! Eeek!

I really like the part where you said "for years marrying her seemed like a wild fantasy" - because in James' case, I'm sure it was true! It took him SO long just to get her to agree to go out with him, I'm sure there must have been times when he thought it'd NEVER happen. Poor thing. :( But, there's no need to be sad - they're getting married so obviously it all worked out in the end. (Sadly, I think I said that last bit more for benefit than yours :P)

And WOW. I know that completing the A-Z part of this must have been a challenge, but the words you chose to use to fulfill that requirement are amazing and fit so well with the story!

And Awww! He's not even paying attention to the ceremony because he's staring at her! That's so sweet!!! ♥

I love the part where the other marauders lift James onto their shoulders.. though it's also a little bittersweet because we know what will happen in just a short time with Peter... :( (Don't think about that now Jayde, just enjoy the ceremony!) :P

Hahha! The X and Y sentences made me laugh! :D

This is just such a cute, fluffy little story and I love it to bits! You did a fantastic job with conveying a very powerful emotional moment in such few words! Your writing flowed very well and I didn't notice any spelling or grammar errors, either - well done dear!

 Report Review

Review #44, by MrsJaydeMalfoyBrought to Light: Brought to Light

13th February 2016:
Hello again! Review 2 of 2!

I have to admit, I haven't read many fics about the Lestranges, so I'm really excited to see what you do with them here!

Ooooh! Right from the beginning you've given this a creepy and 'evil' feel - I love your use of the Bible verse and Rabastan's agreeing with it! I think that makes it even creepier! And it was an excellent way to bring us into the scene - without just saying "It was night", you've let us know that something's being done at night. That's very creative!

Oh wow - the resentment towards Bellatrix from her own brother-in-law! I've always thought of the Lestrange's as Voldemort's "commanders" or "generals" as it were, so hearing that they're actually the laughingstock of the Death Eaters is a nice spin on things! And I definitely think more ancient families of purebloods probably WOULD have a problem with a woman running the family. Not to mention, Bellatrix DID always kind of throw herself at the Dark Lord. I'd assume that her being so close to him would definitely cause some resentment for her. And I've always kind of assumed, based on Bellatrix's actions, that her marriage to Rudolphus was loveless and they only married for the sake of being with a pureblood, etc, so I really like your take on things - that Rudolphus is actually quite smitten with her, but she's too stuck on the Dark Lord to notice or care.

Oh no, not the night they went to the Longbottoms'! Oh no!!

Even though I really dread what's coming, I think it's a neat, and very accurate idea, that there would be certain death eaters who specialize in certain things, like Rabastan specializes in breaking through doors/security spells!

Oooh, Rabastan has a plan to get rid of Bellatrix! I wonder what it is!! *Keeps reading*

Oh no! Poor Alice and Frank! And baby Neville! :( Your characterization of Bellatrix here really is spot on! But hm... what's this? Rabastan's plan coming into action already?! But it sounds like Rudolphus is onto him...

Something that really strikes me here is just how little even the Death Eaters knew about what happened to Voldemort. It only makes sense that they think the Aurors would know something about it, even though they don't, but I'd never really realized before reading this just how confused and desperate they must have been - Bellatrix in particular.

And :O *Gasps* Rabastan set Bellatrix up?! I had a feeling his plan would be something like this, I just had no idea it was going to happen THIS night. And what an ironic turn of events the Rabastan got what he wanted, but at the cost of his own freedom!

This was another great one-shot! I don't read stories about death eaters often, sot his was a nice change! Your writing and descriptions in this were amazing, and it all flowed perfectly! Well done!

Congratulations again, and thank you for helping us celebrate HPFF's 15th Birthday!

 Report Review

Review #45, by MrsJaydeMalfoyLet Sleeping Dogs Lie: Rest for the Weary

12th February 2016:
Hello there! I'm here with 2 reviews for you as your prize for guessing another present correctly in the "Guess the Present" thread over on the forums! Congratulations, and thank you so much for helping us celebrate HPFF's 15th Birthday!

I'll be reviewing as I go, so if things seem to jump from one topic to another kind of suddenly, that's why, and I apologize in advance!

And hm... a new story with no reviews? Well, we'll just have to fix that, won't we?! :D

Okay, so, first off, I really love how you've set up the cycle between Remus and his bed already here in the first paragraph, and explained WHY this cycle even exists. And really, it's heartbreaking - knowing how much pain he's in and that pretty much forces him to want to sleep so much after his transformation, and then knowing that before his transformation, he CAN'T sleep, probably because he's so anxious about the upcoming transformation. It makes me wonder - did poor Remus EVER get enough sleep? :(

Oh wow - your referring to the bed as 'the opponent' was really awesome, you've actually given somewhat of a personality to the bed, and made it like a character instead of a prop here. That's amazing and just shows how talented you are!

Awww, the other marauders are there! It makes me feel good to know that, even though this is hard, Remus isn't going through this alone. His friends know all about his constant battles with the bed, and that just goes to show how close they are, that they can see he's obviously struggling with this. I was really hoping the sounds of the snitch would help Remus sleep. :(

Okay, so I got a little scared when you said that Remus hated James and Peter, because I thought they'd had a bad fight or something. But then when I saw it was because they could sleep and he couldn't, my heart broke a little bit more - that's so sad! :( Poor Remus!

I'll admit, when I was reading the bit about sleep aids, I got kind of hopeful for a minute, thinking "Remus could take a sleeping draught or something", but it sounds like taking those could potentially cause more problems than they'd fix. :( I know I already said it, but poor Remus! His situation seems almost hopeless. :(

Aw!! Well, at least Remus was able to get some sleep in the end, even if it wasn't really at an appropriate time. And, it's very sweet of everyone to let him sleep, they know how much he needs it!

All in all, I think this was a great little story, dear. You did an excellent job with conveying the emotions Remus feels here and honestly, this made me want to go back to sleep! :P Also, I think this is great for the Sleeping Habits challenge! Honestly, I've never read a fic about a character's sleeping habits before, so I think this was a very original challenge, and I think you did an excellent job with it! Well done!

 Report Review

Review #46, by MrsJaydeMalfoyFarewell: Farewell

10th February 2016:
Review 2 of 2!

Okay, so I was going to read "Blood Moon" because that banner was just chilling... but then I realized it was for the "Kill your character" challenge and the character was Daphne, and I just couldn't do it.. I loved Countdown to Christmas SO much and I just need her to stay perfectly happy and healthy and Christmassy with Tristan, at least for now! And, I haven't read a fic with Albus in it for quite some time, so I figured I'd go with this one instead, hope you don't mind!

Okay, my heart is just already broken as I'm reading that Albus thought the ring could bring back his family. I'd always assumed that he'd had no choice but to put the ring on, thereby harming himself, as a part of Voldemort's protection on the ring. But, reading that Albus used it trying to bring back his family is just SO sad, and such an interesting take on things!

Aw, he considers Harry like his own son?! That's so sad and sweet! Several times in the series, several people asked Harry how Dumbledore could leave him such a hard task, and in a way it made Albus seem almost cruel, so I really like reading this opposing side of that here!

OH WOW. I really like your interpretation of Albus' father's actions - that he acted in retaliation for something the muggle boys had done to Ariana. Percival has always seemed such a dark character, but now you've made him at least somewhat like-able and respectable by taking up for his family - well done!

And awww, now thinking about Gellert, too - Albus is really beating himself up, here. :(

Oh my goodness - we never really get a clear image in the series of exactly WHAT happened to Ariana, just that Aberforth blames Albus - I think this is an excellent explanation and could easily be Canon. Even though he was frustrated with his brother, Albus would never allow someone to hurt him, I think that's very realistic. And, although I understand Aberforth's frustration, it's really not fair of him to blame Albus, Albus was only trying to protect him. But, as Albus thought just a second ago, hindsight's 20/20.

I can't imagine the torture Albus must have felt all his life at not knowing whose spell it was that killed Ariana. Even if it WAS his spell, we know he didn't MEAN to hurt her, it was an accident, but he'd still never be able to forgive himself.

I think it says a lot that the thing that hurt Albus the most was that Gellert abandoned him, but it just goes to show that Gellert was really a fair-weather friend. And, I can't imagine how hard it must have been to fight, and defeat Gellert, still being in love with him, but Albus knew it was what had to be done and that's very in-character for him, very realistic.

I like your description of Albus' friendship with Minerva - of COURSE there are things she doesn't know, there are things we'll NEVER know about Albus Dumbledore, but I think she's probably one of the best friends Albus had at this stage in his life.

It's ironic that Albus finally got the fame and glory he'd dreamed of as a boy, but it meant nothing to him without Gellert at his side. And it's very true-to-form that once again, Albus stood up for everyone else, doing the right thing for the wizarding world, but it kind of makes you wonder "What about Albus? What about his desires and his needs?" It's almost like he's punishing himself for being a bit selfish earlier in his life, and it's really sad.

It also breaks my heart to think, well, to know, that the whole time Dumbledore was trying to help Harry save the wizard world, he knew he was dying. How does one keep going, keep fighting, knowing that the end is soon? It's just incredible and shows how strong of a character he really was.

I really enjoyed reading this piece as well, dear - I've read two very fluffy pieces of yours, and now a little more sad piece, and I have to say, once again, how great you are at conveying ALL emotions! You did a wonderful job of getting into Albus' head - well done!

 Report Review

Review #47, by MrsJaydeMalfoyCountdown to Christmas: Countdown to Christmas

10th February 2016:
It's me again! :D I saw your comment on my profile - that's so sweet and I'm so happy you liked the review! And now, I'm here with 2 more as your prize for getting a correct answer in 'Guess the Graphic'!

Sooo I've been wanting to read this ever since I saw the banner for the first time, but I couldn't remember who had written it!! So I was pleasantly surprised as I scrolled down your page looking for something to review, I just HAD to choose this! Again, I'll be reviewing as I go, so I'm sorry if I change topics quickly/too often!

First off, Daphne Greengrass! Such a little-written-about character, I LOVE reading stories with little-used characters! I can't wait to see what you've got in store, especially after reading that amazing Lavender/Oliver piece the other day!

Secondly, once again your words have picked me up out of my chair and transported me inside your story, it's as though I'm IN Daphne's office looking at the baubles and the mistletoe - you, my dear, are very talented!

And awww! I feel so sad for Daphne, never really having been shown/had the Christsmas spirit! I mean, I know some people just don't like Christmas for their own reasons, or don't celebrate it, but it's almost like Daphne's been deprived of it, you know? I really hope she's had a good dose of it by the end!

Wow. Having to write a story about the Crime Rate at Christmas certainly sounds like a punishment, and if Daphne weren't already lacking in the Christmas spirit, I'd think having to write that article would MAKE her lose the Christmas spirit! It's definitely not helping!

I hope you don't mind me mentioning this, but I did notice a couple of small typos in the paragraph that starts with "Daphne smirked before going back to her work". There's an extra "her" in the part that says "filing her through her notes", and where it says "it was not that easy", a "was" snuck in there between the "that" and the "easy". And, in the last sentence, there should probably be an "and" between "punishment" and "was". I'm not mentioning these to make you feel bad or criticize you or anything, your work is AMAZING! I just thought I'd bring them up because if it were me, I'd want to know, but please feel free to ignore them! (I always feel like such a jerk when I mention typos). :(

Hahaha Awww! Poor Tristan! I'm assuming he's her boyfriend, and I love that he's trying to get her in the Christmas spirit! And he's quite bold to decorate her flat knowing that she doesn't like Christmas! I just hope it pays off!

BAHAHAHAH! Eggnog is the devil's drink!! I hate to side with Daphne on this, but I kind of agree! XP But, I am sad that Tristan's first Christmas event didn't pass the test. :( But Daphne's reaction had me rolling. :P

AW!!! She's warming up to Christmas!!! Taking her to the park was an excellent idea, I just loved reading how awed she is by the decorations! And maybe the eggnog didn't do the trick, but I'm glad the wine did! And she's skating and having a great time... Ooh it's so exciting!! I can't wait to see what they do next! I hope she likes it as well!

Hahah YES! Christmas songs ARE the best, I'm so glad she liked them! And awww, poor thing, she's sick! :( I'll be honest, I was immediately afraid she was going to just hate anything he did that day, just because she was sick, but I'm really glad she didn't! It made me want to squee when she said it made her cry in a good way!

Awww, Daphne knows she had fun with the Christmas tree, even if she doesn't want to admit it! And EEK! She said "I'm getting a fake tree next year"... SO, THERE WILL BE A TREE NEXT YEAR?!?! YAY!! I'm so happy!

Hahaha, I loved the bit about Tristan not letting her decorate his tree! That made me chuckle! :D And, of course there's going to be a next year, Daphne should just give up the fight already :P. But *gasps* they're just friends?! That was a shock to me, I thought for sure they were a couple! Maybe they will be by the end of this? *Raises eyebrow* Okay let me finish reading! :P

EK I KNEW IT! I was pretty much flailing when they kissed!! And she's finally admitted that she had a good time the past few days! I felt so sorry when Tristan was leaving, but, after those last few moments, I get the feeling he'll be taking Daphne with him to his family's Christmas!

I just can't squee about this enough, I love it SO much! I knew when I saw the banner I was going to love it, and I did! This is another fantastic piece of yours, dear, and it's also going in my favorites! Well done!!!

 Report Review

Review #48, by MrsJaydeMalfoyBreathe: i. Consequence

9th February 2016:
Here with review 2 of 2!

I told you reading 'Drown' had made me want to read this! :P

*Gasps* Why wouldn't Sirius and James be friends anymore? And why is it so hard for Sirius to write this letter to the person who's meant to be his best friend?! So tense, and so many questions right here at the beginning! Better keep reading! :P

Honestly, after reading the way she acted in 'Drown', I feel relieved that Mrs. Black is in Paris and I really hope she won't make a surprise appearance in this chapter. I think I'm still a little frightened of her... :P And, apparently it's very hard for Sirius to write this letter, so it's good that he doesn't have his mother there bothering and screaming at him every five minutes, to give him some time to work on it!

And my goodness - that's a short letter, to have taken him so long to write it! But GAH, the curiosity is killing me! What did Sirius do that was so awful?! And oh my goodness, they haven't spoken since MAY?! What in the world?!?

Also, I really like the subtle hints you've got of Wolfstar here. Yes, Sirius is clearly upset that he hasn't talked to James, but he can't even bring himself to write to Remus, for fear of rejection. That really says A LOT and I'm just hoping SO MUCH that the marauders fix everything, and soon! I don't like this feeling of them not talking to each other! And again, I think the fact that you're able to make me feel those emotions through your writing is incredible!

And aaah. A prank. That explains a lot. But what in the world?! What kind of prank could Sirius have possibly pulled that would involve Snape saying that word? And James was all bruised? It's nice to have some information now about what happened, and it certainly seems like Sirius' friends have a right to be angry with him, but I'm still really curious as to exactly how the prank went down. I'll just have to keep reading, won't I? :P

This is another wonderfully well-written piece/chapter of yours, dear! I'm very curious as to what will happen next, and this has already been added to my 'currently reading' list so that I can come back later to catch up! Excellent job, and again, Congratulations and thank you for playing the Guess the Present Game!

Author's Response: Oh my gosh. I can't believe how long it took me to respond to this :( I am really sorry!

LOL, I actually didn't realize how short the letter was until you pointed it out. I went and reread this chapter and was like "...wow okay oops". It's pretty funny that that short letter took him so long to write, but he was struggling to word things exactly right, so I suppose that's why.

Sirius being afraid to write to Remus at all is partially a subtle Wolfstar thing, but it's also something you'll definitely understand better if you keep reading ;)

I'm so glad that you enjoyed this first chapter, and I hope you'll be back to read more sometime soon! It took me an unusually long time to respond to this review, but it's a really lovely one and I appreciate it a lot!

Thanks so much!

-Kayla


 Report Review

Review #49, by MrsJaydeMalfoyDrown: goodnight, i love you

9th February 2016:
Hello there lovely! I'm here with your two reward reviews for getting one of the presents correct in the "Guess the Present" thread! Congratulations, and thank you for helping us celebrate HPFF's 15th Birthday!

And oooh, what's this? A new story with no reviews? Well I'll just have to fix that, won't I? :P I'll be writing my review as I read, so if things seem to change topic rather quickly, that's why!

Okay, so the first thing I noticed is that your decision to use second person here was a great one! I don't know what it is about second person, but I just love it SO much - I think it really helps the reader feel connected with the story and the characters, and you did a fabulous job with it!

Also, reading from Regulus' point of view is just heartbreaking. Seeing that, deep down, he really cares about his brother and just wants everyone to be together, really makes him more like-able and a more rounded character. And it's so sad hearing him think "if I'd known it was the last time I'd talk to him". :(

And *raises eyebrow* That man? You've definitely grabbed my curiosity here! What's going on? Guess I'll have to keep reading to find out, won't I? :P

OH WOW. You have done SUCH a great job with the emotions here, and with your characterization of Mrs. Black.. just, wow. Before I read this, I'd always kind of viewed her as a nuisance and a mean woman... but here, you've actually shown that Regulus was AFRAID of her, she's so threatening and nasty! And, by showing how afraid Regulus is, you've kind of made me afraid of her too. *hides* That just goes to show how wonderful of a job you've done here with the emotions, that you can make ME feel what your characters are feeling!

Oh no, poor Sirius!! And poor Regulus, too! He wants to help his brother but he's too terrified to even move! And it's so heartbreaking to see the way he's beating himself up about it, even after so much time... I really wish he could just find some way to communicate with Sirius how sorry he is, and ask him the questions he wants to know about his life. :(

And :O *Gasps* Oh my goodness, that ending is just SO powerful! Based on the context, I'm assuming that this is the part where Regulus takes the horcrux, and to think that Sirius was Regulus' reason for wanting to do that, for wanting to stand up to Voldemort and not be a coward anymore is just... sweet and sad at the same time. I really wish Sirius had known that Regulus had changed his ways before they died... I wish they'd been able to reconcile! And, reading this has really made me think I need to go give "Breathe" a read... I'll have to add that to my "to read" list!

Anyway, this is a very intense and emotional story, lovely, I'm so glad I read it. Your writing here is so amazing, there were no spelling or grammar errors that I saw, and it flowed wonderfully. Really, really well done! And Congratulations again!

Author's Response: Hello! I'm really sorry this took so long to respond to. Gah.

Oh, I'm so glad you think I pulled off the second person. I've never really written in it before so I was definitely nervous about it.

Regulus Black breaks my heart, and I've wanted to write a story about him for a long time. I'm really happy that I was finally able to do so.

Unfortunately, the whole "that man" thing is an event from Breathe and wasn't really explained within this story (as I'm sure you realized :P) - I hope you weren't put off/confused by that too much.

I've always viewed Walburga Black as a very abusive woman. That really tends to make its way into my stories, I think :P It's cool that I managed to change your view on her or at least the way you looked at her in the context of this story!

You guess right about the ending, and I really wish those things too :( Like I mentioned, Regulus breaks my heart, and I really wish that he and Sirius had been able to reconcile :(

I'm really happy that you liked my story, and thank you so much for this really lovely review!

-Kayla


 Report Review

Review #50, by MrsJaydeMalfoyDrive: Drive

8th February 2016:
Hello there lovely!

I'm here with your prize review for being the runner-up in the Treasure Hunt! CONGRATULATIONS! And, before I begin, let me just say THANK YOU and tell you how amazing and sweet it was of you to give one of your reviews away to Looneylizzie! That was just so selfless and kind and gave me ALL the warm and fluffy feelings. *hug*

And now, for your review! I'll be typing the review as I read, so if things seem a little spastic or seem to jump from one topic to another, that's why!

Okay, so the first thing I noticed, from the very first paragraph, is that your description is very vivid and really helps put me in the scene with Lavender. You described the smell of the ocean and the sound of the gulls, and even though it's really cold here and I'm nowhere near a beach, you took me to the summertime and warm air, and that's just amazing - especially considering it's only the first paragraph! And it only got better with the second paragraph as you were describing the colors of the dawn and the water sparkling... just WOW!

Also, I just love the fact that these two wizards are doing something completely normal and muggle-like together, despite their being magical. Taking a drive along the beach is always really nice, and of course they would appreciate something as absolutely perfect as that, too! I'm not sure if you were creating this theme on purpose, but it definitely makes me think "yes, they're wizards and they have their own set of worries and issues and hobbies that muggles wouldn't understand, but they still have a lot in common with everyday people", and I LOVE that because, at least to me, half the time it seems like wizards are almost another species. :P

I think it's really a nice touch that Oliver doesn't like for her to stare at him. I'm sure, as a celebrity, he was used to people staring at him, but as he's trying to deal with the disappointment of no longer being able to play Quidditch, it makes sense he wouldn't want to feel famous anymore, and have people staring at him all the time.

Also, I love the wizards' therapy group, I think that's another part that the muggle world would have in common with the wizarding one, especially in the wake of the Battle of Hogwarts. And seeing how carefree the two of them are riding beside each other, despite other people trying to discourage them being together because they're in the same therapy group, is really sweet. Yes, they both have issues, but everyone does, and I don't think that should mean that they CAN'T be together.

I liked seeing how Lavender is fighting to overcome the nightmares and the scars, because something as traumatic as what she went through is absolutely hard to get over. Something like that definitely would change her from being a little vain to wanting to 'shrink into the background', as you said, but she doesn't have to do that with Oliver and it really makes me feel happy for her. And the fact that Oliver kissed her scars the first time he saw them is SO SWEET! ♥ Plus, getting a new start in America sounds like something the two of them really needed!

Honestly, I've never read this pairing before (so kudos for originality!), but I just LOVE the two of them together. I'm normally not a big Lavender fan, but you've made her very likeable and easy to relate to here, and she and Oliver seem meant for each other! And Eeek! He got her to take off the scarf! That's so sweet!! Just knowing that they each know each other's struggle and are working to help the other is just a demonstration of true, pure love and it's so fluffy and GAH!

You did SUCH AN EXCELLENT job of conveying the emotions here - when Lavender raised her hands in the air and screamed I could just feel her joy, and it's actually really filled me with joy as well. And OH my goodness, she forgot the scarf! That ending is just SO PERFECT I JUST CAN'T. Oh my gosh, this is going in my favorites right now!

I know I've already said a lot about this, but really, I just can't tell you how much I love this, for so many reasons. This has definitely gotten me more interested in both characters, individually AND as a pairing. The writing in this is just superb - I didn't see any spelling or grammar errors and it flowed flawlessly. I'm so, SO glad I read this! Well done lovely! And congratulations again!

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page   Jump:     Next Page>