Hello there dear!!
First off, let me just say CONGRATULATIONS on winning the Writer's Duel! Well done!! And now, on to your review! :P
I really thought this was an awesome first chapter! You had my attention from the very beginning and maintained it throughout! I thought you PERFECTLY described a celebratory night at the bar with friends, and your description really allowed me to feel involved with the story... it's almost like I was there watching everything instead of reading... if that makes any sense!
I really, REALLY love Edie's characterization. She's the complete opposite of a Mary-Sue, which makes her very likable! And you weren't forceful or anything with trying to convey her personality, you did it by simply showing her reactions to the situations she was in, which was awesome.
Even though this is the first chapter, I feel like I already have all the background information I need. Without being boring or droning on and on, you've managed to catch me up on everything that's been happening, and THAT takes talent! I didn't see any spelling or grammar errors, and the flow is great!
Well done, dear! 10/10!Author's Response: Thanks so much! I was so excited about winning the duel xD
I'm glad that this didn't seem like too much of an information overload. I've been trying to work on that ever since a few (very helpful!) reviewers pointed it out. And of course I'm so glad that you like Edie. She likes you too. ♥
Once again, thank you so much! Report Review
Hi there dear! You've left me such wonderful reviews, I thought it was about time I repaid the favor! ♥
This is such an original and well-written piece!! I can officially say that this is the first piece I have ever read with Druella Black as a main character, so HUGE kudos to you on originality, and I can't help but wonder where in the world you got the inspiration for this story!!
I really love how, without actually saying it, you differentiate Druella from her family members and even her husband. The fact that they have different nicknames for their daughters is a small detail, but it says a LOT and it's very powerful!
I really loved the mention of Sirius and Regulus, and it seriously made me wish Druella could just jump out of the bed and go tell Dumbledore everything. I loved the idea of another member of the Black family being involved in the Order, and you really helped the reader to connect with (and even pity) Druella.
Great, Great job, dear!!Author's Response: AND WHAT A NICE SURPRISE IT IS! XD
Aww, thank you! ♥ You didn't have to, but I do appreciate it!
And thank you! It's always great to hear such lovely compliments! I think I've answered that inspiration question in my 'Puff interview by now! ;) (I really need to respond to reviews quicker...)
I love how we know nothing about Druella, and so she really can be the person I've written her to be. As for that sentence you pointed out; it's one of my favourites! XD
Thank you so much for reviewing, Jayde! ♥ Report Review
Aww!! This is so cute and sweet and I really love it! It's a very short story, but it feels complete... if you know what I mean, there's nothing missing.
I really love how Harry and Ginny's love for each other is still so evident after all their years together, and you showed that really well by describing how bright Harry's eyes still are.
It flowed wonderfully, and there were no spelling mistakes or grammar issues that I noticed. Overall it's just a short, sweet little piece, and it's going in my favorites! 10/10!!Author's Response: Hello Jayde!
I'm so glad you enjoyed this one-shot! I'm also really thrilled that you think it feels complete! I just wanted it to be a snapshot of their day to day life, and nothing that was filled with too much background. I love that you could fel Harry and Ginny's love for each other, too! Thank you so much for the lovely review and for adding this to your favorites!
Cassie :) Report Review
Oh teh! Why would you do this?!? Why would you go and write something so sweet and sad and just completely PERFECT and make me cry?!?
Words can not even BEGIN to express how much I adore this. Everything about it is just absolutely perfect! I completely LOVE the way you describe each of the pictures in such detail. It really put me into the story and made me feel like I was looking down at the pictures with Dennis as he leafed through them. The way you did that really is just a touch of pure literary GENIUS.
I also really love how you described taking pictures. At one point there was "Snap", used as sort of a signal that you were jumping to different parts of Dennis' life, and then at the end there was the "Click" of the camera as Dennis took pictures for Colin.
And the ending! The ending is just so amazing! The reader already knows what happened to Colin, and you explained it earlier, but you didn't end it there. You ended it with Dennis talking about the time when he took pictures for Colin, and by showing Colin during a happy moment, and describing him in one of his beloved pictures. B.R.I.L.L.I.A.N.T!! Colin's end was a very sad one, but here you've added a sweet memory of him that makes the reader smile at the end (while also bawling like a baby). Just perfect!
There were no spelling or grammar mistakes, and the flow was incredible. You are Very, VERY talented, my dear! I am just in awe, and this is now in my favorites!! 10/10!Author's Response: JAYDE ♥ YOUR REVIEW. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH IT!!??!
Oh my goodness, this review made me tear up a little. All this wonderful praise you're giving me *sniffs* THANK YOU. Thank you so much for your lovely compliments. I'm so so happy you liked this; you've no idea how much it means to me when people appreciate my work and actually leave such amazing comments like these.
The details of the story are important, because I'm really trying to give the reader an idea of Colin as a real person with a real life. And real life is pretty much chock full with boring useless details! Well, Colin sees the beauty in these somehow. Yeah, he's a pretty strange kid :P So detail is indeed a very important part of this story, I think, and I'm so glad it worked for you :D
This is already going to be a sad story, but I can't just let it be full of sadness and grief all the way through :D I had to put in some moment in there, that would sort of slightly shift the mood of the story a little...and that's why you have that final moment of understanding with Dennis. Baha! See? Dennis will be OK...I think :D
THANK YOU SO MUCH JAYDE. THANK YOU for favouriting this AND your amazing review and EVERYTHING. *hugs*
-teh ♥ Report Review
As soon as I saw this on your author's page, I knew I had to read it! I absolutely ADORE Fred and George stories and I knew this would be amazing... and it was! This is just so adorable! Everything about it just makes me want to squee!!
I thought Fred and George's childish thoughts/emotions were very realistic, such as them thinking that at 6 years-old, you know everything! And I just love the way they both come together and try to be 'responsible' over the splinter situation! :) And the fact that Charlie as the older and more responsible ten-year-old tried to give them some guidance!
I also thought the constant countdown "six, five, four..." was a nice touch, since children can be so impatient! And it flowed very well and there weren't any spelling or grammar issues, so kudos on that as well! I can't wait to see what various misadventures Fred and George get themselves into!
10/10 and going in my favorites!! :)Author's Response: Aww! You found Fred and George!
Squee away. It's that kind of story. :P This was really fun to write. Fred and George as little boys were probably a big handful for the family. I've always wondered what set them on their path to mischief. I'm glad you liked it so far and I hope you come back for more later.
Thanks so much for the review (and the favorite!)! Report Review
This was a very intriguing first chapter! When I first looked at the story, I was thinking that Nott was going to wind up being the child's father, so this was a really interesting surprise and it's got me wondering who Audrey's father is. And I'm also sort of suspicious of Nott... I wonder where all this is going to lead.
The way you described everything, from bathing Audrey to racing her at the park to waiting tables and cleaning up, made it all seem so... real, for lack of a better word. I don't know if you're a mother or waitress, but the way you described the things Tracey did in so much detail makes it seem like you've got a lot of experience in those areas... I hope that makes sense! In other words, what I'm trying to say that is you described things so perfectly that it really helps the reader connect and understand what Tracey's going through. (It's a compliment, I promise!! I'm just having a hard time explaining myself right now! :) )
Anyway, enough of my rambling! As I said above, this was a very interesting first chapter and I look forward to reading more! Good job!Author's Response: I think a lot of people think that Nott was going to be the father but in this story, thats not so. You are at least the second person to mention how real/ human like my characters are and thats just huge! I was a hostess for four years, so I know a bit about being a waitress even though I never actually did it. But I'm not a mother so its always awesome when people think I've done a good job with the dynamic between Tracey and Audrey. Thanks so much for this awesome review!
~Slytherinchica08~ Report Review
GAH! This is just so sweet and cute and perfect and... EEK! All the feels!! I really, REALLY love this dear! (In case that wasn't already obvious!) Everything about it is just SO perfect and I LOVE the way it ended, but a part of me was screaming "No!! That CAN'T be it!! I need MOAR!" :P
I think probably my favorite thing about the whole piece is that it's not your normal, Rose-and-Scorpius-start-dating-during-their-school-years type thing. Just about EVERY Scorose I've read is like that, so this is exciting and refreshing!
And as I said before with "He Never Told Her", you did a wonderfully great job of conveying the emotions here: Rose's heartbreak at not having that special someone, and how Al just randomly abandoned her once they got to the reunion! I love it to pieces!!
10/10 and going in my favorites!!Author's Response: Aw Jayde this review is just so sweet! I really just wanted to make a rather sweet oneshot about Rose and Scorpius finally getting together years later because not all relationships start in school and last forever. And some people really do feel lonely at the idea of everyone else seeming to pair off together. I'm glad that you feel I've done a good job with emotions not just in this story but in others. Thank you so much for this review!
~Slytherinchica08~ Report Review
Wow. This is a very emotional piece; really heart-wrenching (in a good way!). This is a fairly short one-shot, but there was so much detail and emotion here that it felt like I'd read a much longer piece! My favorite part of the entire thing was when you said that Snape realized he didn't deserve Lily's forgiveness: it really points towards the internal battle going on inside him and I think that fits perfectly.
I've read several Snape/Lily fics before, but in all honesty, this is the FIRST one that's made me wonder "What if Snape had married Lily? Would HE have been Harry's father, or would Harry have even existed?" I have NO idea why, unless it's got something to do with the strong emotions I'm feeling from reading this! And that, my dear, is the mark of an incredibly well-written piece!
I didn't see any spelling or grammar issues, and it all flowed wonderfully. A really, REALLY great one-shot! 10/10!Author's Response: OMG this review! Seriously, I dont really know what to say but I'll try! I meant for this piece to be sad and very emotional. I was also going for the 500 word challenge which would explain its length. I'm so glad you feel I did a good job with Snapes characterization! Thats huge for me! Gah I really don't know what else to say because your review just has me so happy and excited and GAH! Thank you so much for this absolutely amazing review!
~Slytherinchica08~ Report Review
Wow. After reading this I am really, truly just speechless. This piece is just so full of emotion; happiness, sadness, fear... it's really brilliant.
You've given so much depth to Lavender's character here. Everything from the way her mother taught her to dry flowers to her attraction to Ron because he was different is just amazing and it all works together so perfectly! I know this was only a one-shot, but you've provided so much information and detail here that I honestly feel like I've just read an entire book about Lavender's life.
I kept leaning closer and closer to the screen as the story went on; it truly is enthralling. I was afraid of the ending because I had an idea of what would happen, but you wrote it in such a way that it wasn't too gory or terrifying; it was perfect.
I read your author's note at the beginning, but I honestly didn't notice any errors at all! I think you did an OUTSTANDING job with this, and it's going in my favorites!
AMAZING JOB! 10/10!Author's Response: Hello Jayde!
Eeee you've just given me such terrific compliments I don't even know what to say!?! Ah, thanks so so so much! For reading to the end (I know it was a long story and I'm still amazed I got reviews at all that I didn't have to request for :))
I wanted to really give Lavender life :D Because she's treated so unfairly in the books :(
And so I'm really happy that you liked this and favourited it as well!! Wow, thanks so much! Hugs to you :D
-teh Report Review
Awww; this is so sweet and just really lovely!
Most of the fics I've read about James and Lily (post-Hogwarts) have been about the night they died, so this was a very refreshing! It's just a perfect little moment out of Lily and James' short time with Harry, and the "normalcy" of it (for lack of a better word), really helped me to connect with it.
The thing that stood out to me the most was James' characterization. I love, love, LOVE that, even though he's a grown man and a father now, he's still a tiny bit immature. That's just SO realistic and just classic James (at least in my head-canon, that is :P).
The line "James had never been to a carol service before" was a nice touch; great attention to detail, there! But my favorite line of the whole thing was, "Have we had enough proper Christmas yet?"! I laughed out loud when I read that!
I really don't know why, but I got really wary for some reason when Bathilda showed up. (Probably because the last thing I remember about her was DH - and we ALL know how scary that turned out!) As I kept reading, though, I thought it was really nice to see her um... pre-snake?
Okay, enough about the snake! :P This really is just adorable and lovely, and perfectly written! Amazing piece! 10/10!
Holiday Review Extravaganza Event Two.Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm really glad you liked it. I don't see a lot of Lily/James stories set at this point in their lives, but it's an interesting time to me because they're really still so young and their happiness as young parents was just so brief. That makes me super sad, and I process sad HP feelings by writing drabbles like this ;)
He's definitely still immature I think, he's only 21 here. Still very young. I loved giving Bathilda a cameo as her real self, though I wasn't sure how to write her since the only thing we see of her in the books that's really her is Lily's brief mention in the letter to Sirius.
Thank you again, and thanks for the review! Happy review holiday! Report Review
I thought this was a very interesting first chapter, and I'm really interested to find out what happens next. I'm very curious about what's going on here; I think, judging from what I read, that the first part of this chapter is Lila's dream, and the rest is Ocora observing Lila during the dream... yes?
This held my interest from the beginning, but there were a few things I was confused about. For example, you said "He yelled and the lights went out", but then shortly after that you said "she yelled into the house and the lights went out"... I wasn't quite sure what was happening there, or who the "he" was.
I did notice some spelling and grammar issues that made things a little hard to follow at times; perhaps you could find a beta to help you with those (if you don't already have one)?
Overall, this is a very interesting and intriguing piece, and a great way to start the story! Good job!
Holiday Review Extravaganza Event Two. Report Review
In general, this was a very sad and heartbreaking chapter, but there were moments where I was amused, curious, and even angry as well. There are a lot of emotions at play here, and I think you did a great job of portraying them.
I have never EVER read a story centered around house elves, or how they are imprisoned or... enslaved I guess would be a better word. I think it's about high time the house elves had their own story, though! Of course, I'd hope for them to have a happier ending than this, though, as I'm sure we all do!
The funniest line of the entire thing was when you said that the master coming to feed the poor elves was "rarer than finding a Cornish Pixie doing ballet". Despite the serious nature of what's going on here, I had to chuckle at that. And I had a slight suspicion that it would be Umbridge who walked through the door, and I'm actually kind of glad it was; it helped me to make the connection between how horrible she is and how horrible the master is.
I noticed a few small spelling and grammar errors, but everything flowed nicely! This was a pretty good chapter, but I'm not sure if I want to read more (only because I don't want to see those poor elves suffer anymore!) It's so sad! Overall, good job!
Holiday Review Extravaganza Event Two. Report Review
Haha! This was a cute chapter! I'm really very interested to see where things go from here, but I'm also kind of satisfied with what I read; I feel like there's enough information that this chapter could stand on its own as a one-shot. (I'm not suggesting that or anything, just saying that it didn't feel like it left me hanging!)
There were times when it felt a little bit rushed, but I realize it's only the first chapter and honestly, I think it works that it's rushed, because that's exactly what this is about: rushing around to your family's house on Christmas. I really like how it got straight down to business, giving us all the juicy family details straight from the get-go.
Being a part of ANY family can be hectic and trying at Christmas, and of COURSE that would be especially true of being in the Weasley family. I mean, come on! There's just so many of them!! I really loved the list of the current family issues at the beginning, and the way you gave us more information a little further down with the answers to all the questions everyone was asking. For example, "Yes my stuff was ready at the Burrow".
And my favorite lines of the whole chapter was this: "No, Uncle Ron had not given up on his quest to put an end to the wedding. Yes. Aunt Hermione and Rose were not talking to him." I thought both of those were absolutely hilarious, and typical Ron being stubborn!
Overall I think this is a really cute chapter, and I can't wait to read more! Well done! 10/10
Holiday Review Extravaganza Event Two. Report Review
Awww!! The ending is so cute and sweet!! I love it to bits; which is why it's now in my favorites!!
When I first started reading, I wasn't sure what this was going to be about. But right from the beginning I was really astonished at how well you characterized Dumbledore; he's just completely in character here, from worrying about Harry to regretting the past! And, at least in my experience, keeping Dumbledore in character is no small feat! In fact, the whole story itself had a "Dumble-dory" feel to it, if that makes any sense. It was steady and intelligent... well, you get the idea!
I thought it was so sweet how everyone sent Dumbledore gifts, and I laughed out loud at the comment about the books he got from Professor Trelawney! It was very well-written and flowed nicely, and I didn't notice any spelling or grammar mistakes, either!
But the thing that stood out to me the most was the ENDING! As soon as I realized it was a present from Harry, I thought how awesome it would be if it were the wooly socks, and when I read that part, I couldn't stop smiling! And then after I read it, I immediately thought, "Wait! Is that Canon?"
I can't remember if it's Canon or not! That's how good this is! And as soon as I finish writing this review I will be rushing over to my bookshelf to look through the books to find out! This really is a great, great story! 10/10!
Holiday Review Extravaganza Event Two. Report Review
Okay this is a bit of a side note, but reading this has made me really interested to read a story about how Sirius and Peter faced off that night, when Sirius supposedly killed Peter. Anyway, on to more important matters: your story!
This is the first piece I've ever read about Sirius' imprisonment, (so you get major points for originality) and I think it shows a great insight into what must have been going on in his mind during his undeserved time in Azkaban. I think that his memories and the knowledge that he was innocent WERE the things that kept him sane while he was in Azkaban, so I think it's great that you highlighted those things and mentioned that here.
I think everything flowed pretty well. There were some grammar and spelling errors that were a little distracting at times, but they didn't really affect my overall understanding of the piece and I'm sure they could be cleared up with a good proofread! Perhaps a beta could help, if you don't already have one!
Either way, this was a very interesting and original read! Good job! 7/10
Holiday Review Extravaganza Event Two. Report Review
Okay, so as part of the Review Extravaganza, I wound up reading this chapter before anything else, and I AM COMPLETELY HOOKED. I literally HAVE to read the rest of this now; it's just that brilliant!
Although there were a few tiny errors, this is so, SO well-written that I hardly even noticed. And you did such a beautifully wonderful job with characterization and the emotions here! At the beginning I was just sort of laughing at Ron and Hermione's behavior, but as the chapter went on, I actually became nervous myself! And that's saying something!
I don't think I've ever read a chapter about Ron and Hermione's wedding, but it wouldn't matter if I did, because this fits so perfectly well that I'd easily believe it to be Canon... minus Hermione's first line, of course! :P
I also really love how this is as much about Harry and Ginny's relationship (or lack thereof), as it is about Ron and Hermione's relationship and their wedding. I was halfway expecting Harry to propose by the end of the Chapter, with all the awkward glances he and Ginny kept exchanging.
I think my favorite line in the whole chapter was when Hermione said she'd had a minor panic attack and Fleur mouthed "minor?" in the background! I could just SEE Fleur doing that, and it was hilarious! I think this chapter is awesome, and I think it'd work really well as a one-shot, too! Great job and I can't wait to see where it goes from here! 10/10
Holiday Review Extravaganza Event Two.Author's Response: Hey hey MrsJaydeMalfoy! Thank you so much for your lovely review! I'm glad that it pulled you in and that you're lovin' the Hermione/Ron wedding as much as did, and I'll definitely do a read-through for some minor errors! Again, thank you so much for all your kind words, and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story! Report Review
Oh wow! That was such an interesting and jaw-dropping plot twist, and very original! Where in the WORLD did you come up with that idea?!? When the chapter first loaded I was expecting it to be about Ron finding an old love letter from Krum to Hermione, and I was immediately prepared to be angry at Ron for being so ridiculously jealous after all this time... but boy was I surprised!!
I was really, really disgusted with Krum when I found out what was REALLY going on. I mean, it's bad enough that he's so much older than Rosie, but he could have AT LEAST told her he had dated her Mum!! By the way, I thought you did a really great job of portraying Krum's accent without making it confusing! Great job with that.
Overall, I think this was pretty brilliant; DEFINITELY shocking. It flowed pretty well and I think I only saw one little grammar error ("fomulate" should be "formulate"), so great job! I'd actually really like to see where things went from here! 9/10!
Holiday Review Extravaganza Event Two. Report Review
This. is. amazing.
Sorry, I'm still in shock from over-exposure to
I've never read a Luna/Dean before, but I think I
officially ship them now! This was so fantastic!! I
really, really love that, as you said in the story,
here Luna isn't just "Loony Lovegood", she's a
woman, a friend, a lover... just WOW!
This is just written so perfectly and all the emotions
here are conveyed beautifully; this is a wonderfully
well-written piece and I ADORE IT!
10/10, absolutely perfect!!Author's Response: Aww hi Jayde! I'm so excited you stopped by!
I'm glad I could be the one to introduce you to Luna/Dean. I have another one-shot up about them called For You, My Love (15+)...you should check it out if you want more of the ship! And shadowycorner has a great Dean/Luna story started too. Highly recommend it :)
I'm so happy you like Luna! To me, she did seem a bit different in this than she was in the books, but I'm happy you took that as a sign of maturity instead of just bad characterization :P I wanted to show a more feminine, relatable side to her.
Thanks again! This made my day! :) Report Review
*Runs up and taps you on shoulder* Hehe; TAG! :D
Wow. This is a very interesting and very original piece! Never, EVER before have I read something about how Neville wound up staying in the Room of Requirement, so BIG kudos there for originality!
I think your characterization of Amycus was delightfully well-done; although I certainly never liked him, I completely DESPISE him here, which just goes to show how great of a job you did with that!
Everything flowed nicely as well, the description was great, and there weren't any spelling issues either; well done! I did notice two very small grammar issues, but they were really tiny and they didn't affect my understanding of the piece at all.
The first one was here: "Is when you've done somethin' but you gotta prove that you didn't do it?" You don't really need a question mark at the end of that sentence, a period or even an exclamation mark would be better.
The second one: "Theodore hand shook slightly as he made Neville do a cartwheel" Here, there should be an apostrophe and an 's' on the end of Theodore (Theodore's). Like I said, neither of these things are big at all, in fact, they're hardly noticeable... I just thought I'd point them out so you can fix them (in case you hadn't noticed them)! :D
Anyways, amazing job, dear! 10/10!!Author's Response: Hello again!
Ooh thank you! I'm glad to hear that you think it's original! :D
You don't understand how much I loved to hear that you completely despised Amycus in my story! This makes me so happy! :D
Oh yes, I don't need a question mark and there should be an 's' at the end of Theodore, thank you for pointing that out! :D
Thank you so much for reviewing again! :D Report Review
YES!! FIRST REVIEW! :D
Wow, this was a very intense and emotional first chapter! I wanted to cry with Clara when those bullies were picking on her... (and I also wanted to hex them into high heaven). :P Really, they were SO mean!
I think you did an excellent job describing what it feels like to be bullied. It was very true-to-life, very realistic, so kudos for helping the reader to feel what Clara feels. I also really loved that you made James un-cliche. Even though he HAS picked on people, he wants to make things right now (thanks to Dom's intervention) and I really, REALLY love that! :D
I didn't notice any grammar issues, either, so great job on that, too! I did notice one tiny little spelling issue, but it's SO small that I'm positive it was just a typo. The second time you mentioned Clara's name (about halfway down when James is reading out his paper to her), it's spelled "Carla". It's really no big deal though, and it doesn't make the story hard to read or anything! I just wanted to let you know, in case you didn't already! :D
Really, really great job, dear! 10/10!Author's Response: YAY FIRST REVIEW! :D
Ugh I know, they were HORRIBLE! I hate writing them but I like it because I've been bullied and as I sit at the computer tapping away I think, "Muhahahaha I'm going to base an evil character on you! Muhahahahaha!" :p
I'm so glad to hear that I made James un-cliche! Oh I was so worried about that!
OH MY GOSH THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR POINTING THAT OUT! I did that on a request form over at tda as well - thank goodness you pointed it out when you did! I'm going to go fix that ASAP!
Thank you so much for this lovely review - I really appreciate it! :D Report Review
Hello there, dear! TAG, you're it! :) Wow. Just... wow. This piece is absolutely brilliant; just perfect!
It's quite different from the expected, which makes it a very refreshing and unique read. Everything about this is just so un-cliche and the opposite of the expected. Take, for instance, the fact that the story is in reverse chronological order. When I read that in the A/N at the beginning, I seriously thought about reading from the bottom to the top; but I'm SO glad I didn't! Reading it the way it was written was just an incredible experience; it was truly genius!
I also really loved the plot twist. Instead of Lily completely forgetting about Severus as she appears to in the series, she's still just as in love with him and just as depressed as he is. And although I really enjoy the characterization of Lily in the series, here she's not quite as admirable of a character, but there's a lot more depth there. She's very relatable and realistic... REALLY great job with that!
The description and your use of language here is absolutely amazing, and I kept leaning closer towards the screen as the story progressed. In fact, the story was over much more quickly than I thought it would be. And I didn't see any spelling or grammar issues, and nothing was unclear at all, so great job with those things as well!
Truly, truly amazing... words can't even explain it. 10/10!Author's Response: Thank you so much for this! Apologies for the (very) late response - I really appreciated receiving a review for this story because it's one that I didn't get as much feedback for, yet it's still a story that I am fairly pleased it. It's far darker and gloomier than I intended, especially for a story about Lily, but at the same time, I like the style, especially the reverse chronology, which is always a fun challenge. I'm pleased to hear that you enjoyed that aspect of the story, too! ^_^
Oh wow, I don't know what to say except to express many squees that you also liked how Lily's characterization turned out. It was very strange to write her in this way, almost Snape-like in her behaviour. Her cruelty to James surprised me most while I was writing - it's perhaps the greatest risk this story took because it really alienates one from Lily. She uses James to get back at Snape, and that's at least what shocked me most -I couldn't believe that this story could have come out of my head (maybe that's why I like it). Other aspects of her character are very realistic, though - it's something I love to do, especially with characters like Lily who are known, but not entirely so. There are huge gaps in her characterization in the series, and this is one possible way one could fill that gap. I'm so glad to hear that you enjoyed her characterization in this story. It was fascinating (if disturbing) to explore this kind of route her character could have taken, and it means a lot to hear that readers have liked it too.
Thank you again for reading and reviewing! ^_^ Report Review
Hello there, dear! I'm Jayde, a fellow 'Puff... TAG, you're it! :P
I really, absolutely ADORE this! As you said in your author's note at the beginning, it really did bring out my inner child! I think this was a beautifully-written piece, and a very original idea, too! You're absolutely right, most people wouldn't think that magical children would NEED Fairy Tales, so that made this piece refreshing and cute and sweet and I just want to hug it!
Everything flowed nicely and the spelling and grammar were great, as well as the tone. The only thing I noticed was a tiny little typo at the beginning, in this sentence:
"I think she has more imagination that the rest of the family... " ('That' should be 'than'). That's the only thing I saw, though, and I'm positive that that's just a typo. And it didn't make the sentence hard to read or anything, I just thought I'd let you know! :D
Anyway, GREAT job, dear! I really, really loved this! Well done; 10/10!!Author's Response: Hello Jayde! First of all, this has nothing to do with your lovely review, but you have a gorgeous name!
Now, onto business! I'm so, so, so immensely glad that you liked this so much! It really was a confidence boost for me! And my goal was reached if you thought back to your childhood while reading this! Lucy is exactly how I was as a child, and it was a really nostalgic piece for me to write. I love that you want to hug this, it would gladly accept your hug!!! :)
I didn't even notice that grammar thing, so I think I will go back and fix it! Thank you for pointing that out!
Wow, 10/10? Really? That's so sweet of you, and I'm glad you think I deserve it! Thank you a million times over for this amazing review!!! And, of course it's wonderful to hear from a fellow Puff!
Cassie :) Report Review
Awww, this was very sad and sweet and beautiful! I really enjoyed it; well done! Report Review
*Runs in to snag spot* I. AM. # 400!! YESS!! :D *Does victory dance* Okay, enough of my sillyness and on to more pressing matters - the chapter!!
As I said before, this chapter is amazing, and wonderfully well-written! I really loved the cunning side of Roxi that we see here. She handles everything SO perfectly, and you did an amazing job portraying her as well as her emotions here!
I just wanted to jump into the chapter and laugh along with her when Greyback realized what was going on... it was just TOO perfect! It was really scary to see that the others had nearly reached her before falling out, though!
Absolutely amazing, and I can't wait to see what happens when Roxi gets to the Burrow! *Squeals* Well done dear; 10/10! Report Review
*Stares at the review count for this chapter with raised eyebrows* Only one?? Well I'll just have to fix that, won't I?? :P
So I'm pretty sure I've already told you everything about how amazing I think this chapter is, but I'll say it again! :D Rather than throw out all the same compliments, though, I'm going to focus on my favorite part of the chapter.
It was the "One" "Two" "Three" bit. I can't really explain why, it's just so intense and action-packed, but not at the same time... if that makes any sense. It's like I was holding my breath to see what was going to happen when she got to "Three", and you certainly didn't disappoint! :D
Absolutely FANTASTIC, love! GREAT job; 10/10!! Report Review
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