Hey, it's PA from the forums! :) I thought it was really, really funny. I mean there were a couple of parts that were obviously supposed to be funny but at the same time there were bits of it where I was laughing and I didn't even know why. I think it's probably a given that I've never read anything like this before. It's really unique and I think you handled your insane idea really well! The only thing I would say is that it was a tad on the long side and might have worked better as a short story. I also liked how you had Lavender Brown be the best friend type character, it was a nice surprise! Overall, good job! I really liked it.

PantherAlexandra - Slytherin

Author's Response: Thanks! :D Yeah, I pretty much wrote this on a sleep high so I knew it was going to be prety stupid, but I'm glad that you thought it was funny! I've never done humorous fcs before, usually dramatcis, so it was a nice challenge. :)

And thank you so much for your kind compliments! I was so happy when I read your review and it makes me smile when I hear that I did a good job. :)

And as for the length, the story was for a challenge on the forums and... well... I didn't start writing it until like a week before the deadline! :0 So that's why I was forced to squeeze it all into just a one-shot. But I am seriously considering breaking it down into chapters and maybe even chapter images! :D

But thank you so much for your review and for helping me with the beginning! :)

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Your characterisation was good, Draco didn't seem too 'soft' or so full of regrets he can't handle it which a lot of people do. You spoke about reaching goals, a very Slytherin-y thing to do.

If I'm honest, I didn't fully understand this sentence "And you, I would have slept sounder afterwards." It might just be the fact I haven't slept for about a day. I read it as being Draco talking to the reader which, if I'm right, was a really clever thing to do! If I'm not, ignore this!

Your description of the Dark Arts is good, very reminiscent of Snape's speech in HBP. It was a really unique and interesting way of tacking Draco after the war. I've read so many fics where Draco is suddenly Mr Charitable man of the year. I also think it was well written how Draco's own thoughts were becoming that same insanity that you say Nott, Goyle and Pansy suffered but he's managing to fight it off.

I really enjoyed reading this take on Draco. Well done!
PantherAlexandra - Slytherin

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This chapter was short but sweet! I think it was a great introduction to Bill && Fleur's relationship. Very professional to start with! Haha. I liked the part where you said "I thought I recognised Bill first "Ees that one you?" I asked him pointing at the picture." I thought it was really sweet how Fleur instantly knew who he was and it was really nice to read. I also found it funny right at the end when Fleur was confused and didn't know what Monique meant. Really good chapter!

PantherAlexandra - Slytherin

Author's Response: I always thought that the chapters could have been longer but at the time they covered what was necessary :)

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I've been looking for a good Bill/Fleur story to read for ages now because I'm considering writing one. So far, I'm very impressed! I really like how you've nailed down Fleur's characterisation in the first chapter: impatient, grumpy but good natured all the same! Also, it's probably just because I know they end up together but I squeed a little when Bill introduced himself haha.

There were a couple typos etc I spotted which is good because usually mine have like a hundred! Anyway, I jotted the corrections down:
Spelling:
but seeing as..
in an apartment..
get lost or hit by a bus..
Tense:
what I was going to wear

A really great start and I'm looking forward to reading the rest! :)
PantherAlexandra-Slytherin

Author's Response: Hey, I'm glad you are enjoying it. I know what you mean about the typos and i wrote these chapters a year ago now but i can't even read them back because some are so bad! I hope you enjoy the rest.

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This is such an interesting idea and I've never read anything like it before. As soon as JK mentioned McGonagall's love for a muggle I wanted more! Setting it during a muggle war as well is interesting! Is it a challenge to write McGonagall? I've never imagined her as anything but Professor/Head of House. I can't even bring myself to type Minerva hahah. Great start, I really liked it! Alex.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review, I wasn't expecting one seeing as this sort of story isn't as popular as the usual stuff! The challenge is based on love in wartime and I've always wanted to write about Minerva so I just put the two and two together! I'm a history nerd too so I've done a bit of research. I've always wanted to show another side of Minerva because she seems like an invulnerable character and I just wanted to see if I could pull off the opposite.
Thanks again!
LpF123

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This was totally perfect in how I'd imagine Neville to be during his sorting. Trepidation, nerves, everything which made him loveable. I also liked how you gave the had a sense of being able to see and tell the future almost in the way he looks through Neville's dormant bravery instead of just getting it to shout out and be done. Really good job, I liked it! :) Alex.

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Heh, it's so funny trying to imagine an 11 year old Dumbledore, I wonder if he was difficult to write? I thought you did a great job of showing his calm demeanor and it was a really nice touch to tell it from Elphias' point of view and putting in pieces that showed why it was such a fond moment for Dodge. Really interesting and unique entry which was an enjoyable read. Well done!

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I thought this was a really effective way of showing the start of Malfoy's insecurities about becoming a death eater as well as his father's eagerness for him to join so they could get back in Voldemort's good books. Really good chapter with nice characterisation! Alex :)

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What a great idea for a one shot! I've always wondered how Charlie found himself in Romania because it never seemed like the typical job. I thought that his feelings towards the office job were dead on (I may be biased here because I loathed mine when I had it) and the humour dotted through it was really refreshing too! Great job!

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Aww that was sweet in a way. I've never really thought about Pansy before but you managed to make me feel for her at the end with her dreams not coming true. I think you did a great job of letting her emotions show through! Nice chapter, Alex :)

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That was such a nice read! (Y'know except from the tragic ending which gets to me every time, poor little Colin!) I really liked how it was written, the narrative was really unique and fun to read. Really, really good chapter for the collab! :)

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Ahhh, Snape, one of the most complex characters and storylines in the book. I really like how you conveyed his guilt after what happened between him and Lily as well as how he hated, but accepted, her starting to go out with James because he loved her enough to be happy for her. Nice chapter!

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Wahay! A Tom Riddle first year story! The narrative was intelligent and focussed which was fantastic because it matched Voldemort's personality and how he was soaking up the magical world after being stuck in the orphanage for so long. Really enjoyable chapter!

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I've never read a Lucius/Narcissa before but I quite enjoyed this. I liked the cheek of Lucius which was like Draco in the books. Interesting take on their marriage! I liked it :D

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That was really sweet! I've never thought about Luna making up the wrackspurts before, it was almost like escapism which was pretty neat. Good chapter! :)

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Wow, that was a really interesting take on Regulus and Sirius' relationship which I've never seen before. Usually they're enemies! Good Job!

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I really like your story :) But maybe that's because I think I'm secretly in love with Neville Longbottom... sigh. Anyway, all of the chapter so far have been terrifically good and even though Hannah is spoken about much in the books I think you've done her right if you know what I mean not to mention the story line is really good even though I'm pretty sure it's all cannon. Great job and I'm looking forward to the next chapter! :D Alex.

Author's Response: Thank you very much, I really appreciate it!

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I haven't read the story this is a re-write of but if it's anything like this, I'm betting it's pretty good. I've been looking for a new Remus/Tonks story for a while because they're one of my favorite canon ships so I'm really glad I found this one. Plus it seems like it's going to be a happy, cheerful one that'll make me smile rather than a depressing one that'll remind me of all the work I have to do. So cheers for that! I loved Tonks in the books (not so much in the films but I'm picky) and you seem to have captured her fun-ness (is that a word? I don't think so.) Anyway, this was a great first chapter and I'm looking forward to reading more :D Alex.

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"Purebloods in Slytherin, everyone else, divide yourselves between the three remaining houses alphabetically. If this task is beyond you, go to Hufflepuff."

I though this line was hilarious, especially in what I would have figured would be a dark story. Good chapter :)
Alex.

Author's Response: Thank you! I think there's always time for a Hufflepuff joke. It will be a dark story but ultimatly about finding reasons to get on with life in tough situations, finding hope in the darkest moments.

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Wow, this is a really interesting idea and I think you started it really well, with something that we all know and recognise from the books but in a different perspective. I don't usually read Hogwarts-era stories but I thought I'd give this one a whirl and I'm glad I did. I think you did Ginny's reaction really well. There were a couple of tense slips from past to present but nothing too distracting for reading it. Once I think you wrote Ginny instead of 'I'. Anyway, I hope to keep reading it once I've tidied up... Great start! Alex.

Author's Response: thanx!!! yeah i just couldnt resist writing DH from ginny's perspective i adore her + its not a popular 1 like marauders so i dnt feel like im writing the smae thing as everyone else lol. Thanx 4 reading! thanx 4 mentioning the past/present thing some1 had mentioned it before and i thought i fixed it but obviously not lol
xoxoxoxo aussieginny

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I have a feeling that I am quickly becoming addicted to your one-shots. I absolutely loved this story somehow you've made me like Filch even though I didn't really feel anything towards him in the books. He was always just Filch, the care-taker squib.

I have to say I've never liked Peeves much either but I loved the way you managed to show how the consequences of everyone else's actions affected him.

I love stories which explain why a character has acted the way they have and giving everyone a back story which you have done for Filch wonderfully, now whenever I read about Filch I'll be thinking about how mucky the students really are (: I thought it was so sad when he was sitting waiting for his Hogwarts letter. I remember that feeling when I was eleven

Heck, you even included Mrs Norris! Super good job!

Author's Response: Thank you for reading and leaving a review! I tend to write an awful lot of one-shots, so I'm glad you enjoy them. :) Filch was an interesting character to write about. I think it would be so difficult to be a squib. To be born into this fantastic magical world, but never really be a part of it. I think it's enough to make anyone bitter.

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I'm not entirely sure what to write, I loved it! I thought it was so adorable, then again I tend to think everything about Neville is adorable, even when he was killing Nagini all I could think was aw.. Neville :) Anyway, I loved your one shot a lot. It was funny and sweet and like real life all rolled into one. Nice work!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! It made me laugh. I, too, am a big Neville fan. My reaction to him killing Nagini was "About freaking time! I always knew you were awesome, Neville. Way to show the rest of the world!" Glad you enjoyed it and thought it seemed relatively realistic. Thanks again for the review!

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I really liked it, a nice unusual ship which I thought you did really well :) There was just one bit where you changed from she to I and back again just after "How does he always know what to say?" I love stories that explain what happened and why. Not to mention an Order member and a death eater, lovely. Great job :)

Author's Response: Hey Alexandra
First I really want to thank you for your review! I’m glad you liked it. Yeah I really like unusual pairings. I did not notice I did that I will check it out and thanks for pointing that to me otherwise I would have never noticed it. I also love stories that explain what happened and why and that’s why I decided to write this story like that. Yeah I really love death eater and order member romances. Thanks so much!

-xoxox-

Cleopatraa


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I loved it and I am also really interested to see where you take this story. I love the idea that you are giving the characters who we never really think about stories of their own. If there were any spelling mistakes I didn't notice any as I read but perhaps that was just because I was too busy enjoying the chapter! Hopefully it will get happier but I guess you had to introduce it some way. Great start and I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with! Alex :)

Author's Response: Oh, thank you. Minor characters are always my favourite and thank you so much for taking the time to review! And yeah, I understand that it was pretty depressing - well, sombre, maybe - but that will get better. Haha. Again, thank you for reviewing, the next chapter is nearly finished.

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I like your story so far, it was a really good start as you managed to show your characters and their personality well. I usually prefer playboy Sirius but I like that you have gone away from that to show that he is sweet but still as confident as we expect. Maybe the playboy thing is something you plan to include later? Either way would probably work. I also like that fact your OC is developed well as you show she is not swayed by gifts etc. Hope this helps :) I have exams in two weeks also so I know what you mean! Alex (:

Author's Response: Thank you for your review.
I'm not too sure what I'm going to do with Sirius yet, I don't really plan my stories out, I just let it 'go with the flow'.


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